Habit. shambhala sun. Get off the wheel of. Sylvia Boorstein Tsoknyi Rinpoche

Transcription

1 ABC anchor Dan Harris talks mditation with Sharon Salzbrg, Josph Goldstin & Mark Epstin shambhala sun Buddhism cultur mditation Lif novmbr 2014 Gt off th whl of Habit How to fr yourslf from habitual pattrns of thinking, rlating, and acting. It s th whol point of Buddhist mditation. (Thy don t call it th Whl of Lif for nothing.) Hlpful tachings & tchniqus from: Thich Nhat Hanh Sylvia Boorstin Tsoknyi Rinpoch

2 Gt Off th Whl of Habit Dsir Somon said, Wll, you popl know what a worrir I am. I would hav thought, Today th tirs, tomorrow th car! Whn I gt ovr on worry, my mind is quickly scanning for th nxt possibl thing to worry about. Finally somon said, My mind dosn t do any of thos things. It blams. Mostly, it blams m. It is as if I hav a built-in pr rviw committ always rady to criticiz. I wondr who appointd thm? By this tim w wr all laughing, ralizing w had accidntally put togthr a list of th traditional fiv afflictiv nrgis. Ths ar fiv habitual ways popl ract to challnging circumstancs that cloud clar judgmnt. In traditional Buddhist txts, ths nrgis ar calld th Fiv Hindrancs, bcaus thy block accss to sound dcision-making. Hr is th classic list: Dsir (somtims calld lust, which somhow sounds wors) Avrsion (in all its prmutations, from annoyanc to rag) Sloth and Torpor (which sounds sinful and intntional, in contrast to fatigu, my prfrrd trm) Rstlssnss (which manifsts as frtting or worrying) Doubt (which is linkd with inscurity, slf-blam, and lack of confidnc) From Gtting Mad to Going Shopping: What s Your Pattrn? avrsion Buddhist tachr Sylvia Boorstin on 5 styls of habitual raction and how to fr yourslf from yours. Illustrations by André Slob Emily, a long-tim participant in my rgular Wdnsday morning Buddhist class, told us about a distrssing xprinc sh d had th prvious day. I couldn t bliv it, sh said. I cam out of my apartmnt building and thr was my car, just whr I d lft it th night bfor, but lowr. All th tirs had bn stoln. I got so upst that I walkd th thr blocks to Macy s and bought th silk pajamas I d bn covting. Popl laughd sympathtically, acknowldging Emily s discomfort and apprciating th unxpctd rmdy sh d chosn. Aftr that Emily continud, I wnt hom and calld th polic. I m surprisd you wnt shopping, anothr prson said. I would hav found th building managr and givn hr a pic of my mind. I pay high rnt to hav good scurity. I probably would hav bn in a bad mood all day. It always taks tim for my mind to sttl down. Somon ls said, I fl lik I can t tolrat that kind of suddn strss. Whn somthing lik that happns, I fl xhaustd bfor I vn start to dal with it. I would hav gon into my apartmnt, calld work, and told thm I ndd th rst of th day off. 42 SHAMBHALA SUN novmbr 2014 SHAMBHALA SUN novmbr

3 sloth doubt Whn I tll th story about this class, it usually licits an nthusiastic rspons: Ys, that s m! Mattr of fact, I hav two of thos fiv rspons pattrns. Can a prson hav mor than on? In fact, I rspond, w ach hav all thos habitual pattrns of rspons in varying combinations in rspons to diffrnt circumstancs. On on notabl occasion, though, a man who had rcntly joind th class said, I don t undrstand any of this. I would hav phond my work to tll thm I d b lat. Thn I would hav phond th polic, my insuranc company, and an auto rpair to gt th car towd and srvicd. Thn I would hav takn th bus to work. What s th mattr with ths popl? Evryon laughd, and I probably did too. But I was vry carful in my rspons, bcaus no on had bn wrong in idntifying how thy rspondd to strss and nothing was th mattr with anyon. I rplid, I think most of us hr would hav don that too. What popl ar dscribing is what thy flt lik doing, what thoughts flashd through thir minds bfor thy did th obvious snsibl thing. Th silk pajama story srvd as a prompt for popl to notic what thir minds habitually bring up in rspons to strss and difficulty. My most prominnt dfault position, th on that s bn th most painful all my lif, is rstlssnss, an agitation of mind that manifsts as obsssiv worrying. Long bfor I knw about rstlssnss as a rcognizabl, commonly shard form of confusion, I knw I had it. I worrid about things that wr somtims gnuin concrns (which rquird attntion, but not obsssiv frtting) and I worrid about imagind concrns, things that had not yt happnd but could. Whn I dscrib to popl th kinds of worst-cas scnarios my mind can construct out of minimal data, many hads nod in ruful rcognition of this familiar xprinc. Sylvia Boorstin is a psychologist and lading tachr of Insight Mditation. Hr many bst-slling books including Pay Attntion, for Goodnss Sak and Happinss Is An Insid Job. Sh will b taching at th Shambhala Sun s mditation rtrat at th Omga Institut, August 26 to 30, Imagin this scn: I was travling with my husband in a forign country, bfor thr wr cllphons, and w plannd to mt at a particular rstaurant for lunch. I arrivd on tim, at noon. H wasn t thr yt. I waitd a minut, mayb two, and thn I thought, What if somthing bad happnd to him? What if h got lost? H dosn t spak th languag. What if h took ill? H is old. What if h is missing and no on can find him? I suppos I could call th Amrican mbassy. If somthing trribl happnd I d nd to call our family Only a fw minuts passd bfor h strolld into viw, happy to tll m about his morning s advnturs. I flt dismayd to find myslf caught, yt again, in a gratuitous mind-storm. Each xprinc lik this solidifid my viw of myslf. I am a world class worrir, I would think, and I guss I ll nd to dal with this forvr. Calling myslf world class was an attmpt to mak light of my uncomfortabl habit. I wouldn t do that now. Evry afflictiv mind tndncy that bcoms a habit is painful. Hr s a scond scn from th pr-cllphon ra: I was waiting with othr parnts for a ski bus to rturn from a day in th mountains. Aboard wr sixty lvn-yar-olds, on of whom was min. Th bus was fiftn minuts lat. As w stood togthr in th wintr vning darknss, it bgan to rain. Tn mor minuts passd. I thought, How com ths othrs parnts, lik th on who just said, Lt s gt somthing to at whil w wait?, ar not thinking that if it s raining hr, it s snowing in th mountains, and quit likly thr has bn a accidnt? I was awar of th frightning thoughts I was having, and th pain of having thos thoughts. I was also awar that th othr parnts did not tak vry situation of ambiguity to a dradful conclusion. I flt nvious. photo by margot duan Ovr th yars I hav mad th shift from thinking, I am stuck with this mind and ths tndncis forvr to trusting, I can b diffrnt! I m not sur ths thoughts will stop, but I can stop bing hld hostag by thm. I bgan by dlibratly not idntifying myslf with my habitual pattrn. To voic my confidnc in th possibility of chang I bgan to say, I m thinking of myslf as a rcovring frttr. As a dilignt practic, I bcam particularly vigilant about th arising of frightning thoughts. I dscrib this practic as mindfulnss of alarming thoughts. Bing gnuinly mindful rquirs that I acknowldg th thoughts with a balancd mind. Whnvr I am abl to intrcpt th thoughts in th tiny spac in my awarnss bfor far nzyms flood through my body, I can rcogniz that thy ar only thoughts and I don t hav to bliv thm. Thn th thoughts just bcom thoughts. Thy don t stir up a commotion. This is trmndous progrss. I had hopd in my arly yars of practic that my tndncy toward alarm would disappar. That didn t happn. Prhaps ths habitual tndncis ar codd in our gns. Prhaps thy ar pattrns w larn in our familis, or from our cultur. Bcaus I am a psychologist, I slctd lmnts of my childhood xprinc to prsnt a plausibl story for why my mind rstlssnss maks up worris. But validating my habit with a story didn t mak it bttr. What hlpd was yars of rcognizing and not rsponding to afflictiv tndncis. Now, worry thoughts happn lss, and whn thy do, thy hav much lss powr. That, for m, is librating nough. In th nd, it isn t about nvr having afflicting habits aris. Thy ar part of bing human and having complx livs. Trating afflictiv habits lik mildly annoying cousins who visit from tim to tim rducs thir powr. I m sur that is tru across th spctrum of afflictiv nrgis, not just my habit of rstlss worry. I m also sur that a rlaxd mind on that is stady nough to absorb th initial startl of an afflictiv nrgy, alrt nough to idntify it clarly, and dtrmind nough not to giv in to it is th ky to working with any disturbing habit. W can follow th Buddha s xampl. Imagin th Buddha sitting undr th bodhi tr on th night of his nlightnmnt. H is absolutly rsolut and dtrmind to fr his mind of all confusion. According to lgnd, Mara, th prsonification of go, arrivs to thwart his plan. Accompanying Mara ar all th forcs that confus th mind. Th Buddha, rcognizing that his mind is about to b challngd, says, I s your armis, Mara, and I am not afraid. Visualiz, if you can, this wondrful scn as it unfolds. Th forcs of Mara unlash spars and arrows which turn into flowrs as thy ncountr th fild of poisd bnvolnc that surrounds th Buddha. Mara thn crats a display of rotic tmptations which dissolv in th fild of radiant as that surrounds th Buddha. Mara disappars and th Buddha dclars his nlightnmnt. 44 SHAMBHALA SUN novmbr 2014 SHAMBHALA SUN novmbr

4 Th Buddha gains wisdom bcaus h is pacful. Equanimity is th prrquisit for libration. Th Buddha s ability to rmain poisd, to countr potntial distrss with blssings of goodwill, dmonstrats th nd of suffring. His bhavior rprsnts his cntral taching, Pac is possibl. Th Buddha is said to hav placd his hand on th ground as Mara appard, in a gstur that signifid, I hav a right to b hr. As human bings, w also hav th right to rcogniz challng, choos to ovrrid our instinctiv impulss, and librat ourslvs, momnt to momnt, from falling into th confusion that is suffring. W too can rcogniz hindranc habits as unwholsom and ovrrid thir lur. W can modulat avrsiv flings so that our viws ar xprssd as usful rsponss. W can rsist th impuls to disngag whn participation is appropriat. W can rcogniz irrlvant alarming thoughts as th crations of fantasy that thy ar and put thm asid. W can rcogniz slf-doubt (although it is th subtlst of nrgis and masqurads as truth) and ignor it. Thr is a varity of spcial trainings or practics for dvloping ach of ths skills. But th univrsal rmdy, which is ffctiv in rsponding to confusion of any sort, is th training of th mind that th Buddha dmonstratd undr th bodhi tr. This training involvs th practics of wis ffort, wis concntration, and wis mindfulnss. Wis ffort is th ongoing dtrmination to choos rsponss that ar wholsom. Wis concntration is building, through lifstyl choics and mditation practic, nough stability in th mind to maintain quanimity through th vr-changing challngs of lif. Wis mindfulnss is th continual, non-corciv awarnss of changing xprincs, which is, in itslf, th practic of pac. In classs whr I ask that popl disclos, by a show of hands, which hindranc nrgy is thir most prominnt on, thr ar always fiv groups that idntify thmslvs. Somtims th popl in ach group mt togthr to shar thir xprincs of what works bst as rsponss to ths uncomfortabl tndncis. Participants rport that thy find th groups hlpful. Mor than spcific rmdis, th discovry that othr popl ar willing to shar storis of thir xprincs, spcially whn a lack of consciousnss has cratd srious difficultis in thir livs, is rassuring, and normalizing, and inspiring. It is hlpful to idntify hindranc nrgis not as charactr flaw but as dfault positions of th mind undr strss. This allows th mind to rlax. I hav a mind that, undr strss, thinks first of snsual soothing is kindr than I am a lustful prson. Whn I am startld, angry thoughts aris in my mind is kindr than I am an angry prson. At th slightst hint of ambiguity in a situation, dir possibilitis fill my mind, is kindr, and lss mbarrassing, than admitting I am a chronic frttr. What hlps is rmmbring, This confusion is a tmporary attack which will pass soon. It will pass fastr if I m kind to myslf (bcaus, aftr all, I am in pain) and if I don t solidify this xprinc into a fixd viw. Rframing unplasant nrgis (and all th hindrancs ar unplasant) as transint, opportunistic phnomna dosn t prclud thm from arising or immdiatly nutraliz thm. But it dos mak thm workabl. In rcnt yars, I find this blssing coms to mind naturally in tims of strss as I go about my lif. Rcntly, I dcidd to track its activity through a particularly strssful day: I arriv at th airport wll in tim for my arly morning flight to Orang County, whr an old frind has takn quit ill. I notic th flight is dlayd. I fl myslf starting to cry. I raliz that I am fling sad bcaus I lov my frind, and am sad to b losing hr. I think about how long w v bn frinds. Th plasur of that thought sttls my mind. Thn, I har th announcmnt that th flight has now bn canclld. I ask about th nxt availabl flight and am wavd in th dirction of a long lin, whr I m told I nd to wait for th nxt availabl agnt. If I wait in that lin, it will b too lat for th nxt flight. I alrady hav a boarding pass, I say. You nd to b in that lin, I m told again. I fl mad. I think, I ll writ that lttr on bhalf of all passngrs who should b tratd mor rspctfully! I raliz that vryon nds to wait and that I fl particularly snsitiv bcaus I m sad. A hlpful prson standing in lin says, If w phon th airlin whil w stand hr, w can probably gt fastr srvic. I dcid to do that. I dial. Th phon rings and rings. I am fling irritabl. I am told, lctronically, that my call is vry important to th airlin and that an agnt will b with m soon. That mssag rpats many tims. I har my mind again composing indignant lttrs to Customr Srvic. My mind calms down and I raliz that I am disappointd with myslf bcaus my frind is sick and I am indulging myslf in indignation. Rally, Sylvia! What ar you thinking? May I mt it as frind. Th lin progrsss slowly. I rpat my phrass slowly, paying attntion to what I am saying. I look around at th othr travlrs and wondr whr thy ar going. In my mind, I bgin blssing thm. May you mt this momnt fully. May you mt it as a frind. It is my turn at th tickt countr just at th point that my phon call is answrd and so I hang up. I raliz I v calmd down. Th agnt is courtous. I larn that all th flights until mid-aftrnoon hav bn canclld bcaus of th thundrstorms. I rbook for th nxt day. Th airport bus for my trip hom arrivs just as I mrg from th trminal in tim to board it. I m gratful, and a littl bwildrd from th morning of hurrying up and waiting and ultimatly going back hom. But I m all right. Just a littl tird. I travl without difficulty th nxt day to b with my frind. Sylvia Boorstin A Bad Day at th Airport What bttr plac to work with your mind? Hr is a practic I hav bn working with for mor than a dcad. I rcit, usually silntly, ths two sntncs: Ths blssing phrass cultivat and sustain a mind of pac and goodwill. For m, thy rprsnt th promis of practic. May I mt this momnt fully xprsss my faith that an alrt and balancd mind is a possibility for human bings. May I mt it as a frind rminds m that my mind s natural bnvolnc is my bst rfug. Although most of my daily practic has always bn th simpl practic of alrt attntion to changing xprinc, I oftn bgin priods of simpl sitting with som rptitions of this two-phras mantra as a kind of mood-sttr, an inclinr of my mind toward rlaxing. 46 SHAMBHALA SUN novmbr 2014 SHAMBHALA SUN novmbr

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