ekufp= jktusfrd /kkj.kk,a gsa&&rf; ughaa % i`foh ^vkidh* ;k ^esjh* ughaa gs

Transcription

1 -3- &3& Maps Are Political Opinions, Not Facts: the Earth Is Not 'Yours' and 'Mine' So, we have lost our relationship with nature. If once we understood that relationship, its real significance, then we would not divide property into yours and mine; though one might own a piece of land and build a house on it, it would cease to be 'mine' or 'yours' in the exclusive sense it would be more a means of taking shelter. Because we do not love the earth and the things of the earth but merely utilize them, we are insensitive to the beauty of a waterfall, we have lost the touch of life, we have never sat with our backs against the trunk of a tree; and since we do not love nature, we do not know how to love human beings and animals. ekufp= jktusfrd /kkj.kk,a gsa&&rf; ughaa % i`foh ^vkidh* ;k ^esjh* ughaa gs bl izdkj izñfr ds lkfk ge viuk laca/k [kks csbs gsaa ;fn,d ckj ge bl laca/k dks le> ysa] blds egùo dks le> yas] rks fqj ge tehu&tk;nkn dks ^rsjs&esjs* esa ughaa ckavsaxs&&rfkkfi gks ldrk gs fd fdlh ds ikl dksbz,d Hkw[kaM gks ftl ij og Hkou fuekz.k dj ys] ijarq ;g fof k V vfkz esa ^rsjk&esjk* ughaa jg tk,xka cfyd og dsoy flj Nqikus dk vkljk cu tk,xka pwafd ge i`foh dks vfkok bldh pht+kas dks izse ughaa djrs] mudk cl mi;ksx djrs gsa] blhfy, >jukas ds lksan;z ds izfr ge mnklhu gks x;s gsa] gekjk thou ls ekuks ljksdkj gh ughaa jg x;k gs] ge fdlh o`{k ds rus ls ihb lvkdj dhkh ughaa csbrs&&vksj pawfd ge izñfr dks izse ugha djrs] blhfy, ;g Hkh ughaa tku ikrs fd ekuo dks vksj i kq&if{k;ksa dks izse dsls fd;k tk,a -4- &4& We Are Caretakers, Each of Us Temporary at That It does not mean that you cannot use the earth, but you must use the earth as it is to be used. Earth is there to be loved and cared for, not to be divided as 'yours' and 'mine'. It is foolish to plant a tree; in a compound and call it 'mine'. CHAPTER FIVE Marriage: Love and Sex ge rks j[kokys gsa] vksj og Hkh vlfkk;h bldk rkri;z ;g ugha gs fd vki i`foh dk iz;ksx ughaa dj ldrsa ftl izdkj ;g iz;kst; gs ml izdkj rks bldk iz;ksx vkidks djuk gh pkfg;sa i`foh blfy, gs fd mlls izse djsa] mldh ns[khkky djsa] ^rsjs* esjs* esa cakvsa ughaaa fdlh vgkrs esa dksbz o`{k yxkuk vksj mldks ^esjk* dguk ew[kzrk gh gsa v/;k; ikap fookg% izse vksj ;ksukpkj -1- &1& Is Marriage Mutual Use? fookg D;k ijlij iz;ksx gs\

2 Now, do you call it love when in your relationship with your wife there is possessiveness, jealousy, fear, constant nagging, dominating, and asserting? Can that be called love? When you possess a person and thereby create a society which helps you to possess the person, do you call that love? When you use somebody for your sexual convenience or in any other way, do you call that love? Obviously it is not. That is, where there is jealousy, where there is fear, where there is possessiveness, there is no love. Surely, love does not admit of contention, of jealousy. When you possess, there is fear and though you may call it love, it is far from love. Experience it, sirs and ladies, as we go along. You are married and have children; you have wives or husbands whom you possess, whom you use, of whom you are afraid or jealous. Be aware of that and see if it is love. ;fn viuh iruh ds lkfk laca/k esa vki esa LokfeRo dh Hkkouk gs] bz ;kz gs] Hk; gs] fujarj =qfv;ka ryk kuk gs] ml ij gkoh jguk gs] mlds lkfk gb/kfezrk djuk gs&&rks D;k vki bls izse dgsaxs\ D;k bls izse dgk tk ldrk gs\ tc vki fdlh O;fDr ij ekfydkuk gd trkrs gksa vksj rnuqlkj,d,slk lekt jfpr dj ysrs gksa tks vkidks ml O;fDr ij ekfydkuk gd trkus esa vkidh enn djrk gks] rks D;k vki mls izse dgasxs\ tc vki fdlh O;fDr dks viuh ;ksu&lqfo/kk ds fy;s ;k fdlh vu; iz;kstu ls iz;ksx djrs gkas] rks D;k vki mls izse dgasxs\ ;g fcydqy Li V gs fd ;g lc izse ughaa gsa vfkkzr] tgka bz ;kz gks] tgka Hk; gks] LokfeRo Hkkouk gks] ogka izse ughaa gks ldrka fu p; gh izse esa dyg vksj bz ;kz dk izos k ughaa gksrka tc vki LokfeRo Hkkouk j[krs gsa rc mlesa Hk; Hkh jgrk gsa vki bls izse Hkys gh dg yas] ijarq ;g izse ls dkslksa nwj gksrk gsa egksn;] tsls&tsls ge vkxs c<+ jgs gsa] osls&osls vki bls vuqhkwr djrs tkb,a vki fookfgr gsa] vksj vkids cpps Hkh gas] vkids ifr ;k iruh Hkh gsa ftu ij vki LokfeRo Hkko j[krs gsa] ftugsa vki iz;ksx dj jgs gsa] ftuls vki Hk;xzLr ;k bz ;kzxzlr jgrs gsaa bl lc ds izfr rfud ltx gks tkb, vksj nsf[k, fd D;k ;g izse gsa -2- &2& Love Cannot Be Thought About You can think about a person whom you love, but you can-not think about love. Love cannot be thought about; though you may identify yourself with a person, a country, a church, the moment you think about love, it is not love it is merely mentation...because the mind is active, it fills the empty heart with the things of the mind; and with these things of the mind we play, we create problems...the problems are the product of the rnind, and for the rnind to solve its own problem it has to stop, for only when the mind stops is there love. izse ds fo k; esa lkspk ughaa tk ldrk vki ml O;fDr ds ckjs esa lksp ldrs gas ftls vki izse djrs gas] ijarq vki izse ds ckjs esa ughaa lksp ldrsa izse dks lkspk ughaa tk ldrka Hkys gh fdlh O;fDr] fdlh ns k] fdlh iwtklfky ds lkfk vki vfhkuuhkko j[krs gkas] ijarq ftl iy vki izse ds ckjs esa lksprs gsa og izse gksrk gh ugha gs&&og rks dsoy,d ekufld izfø;k gksrh gs---pwafd eu lfø; jgrk gs] vr% og jhrs ân; dks viuh pht+ksa ls Hkj nsrk gs] vksj eu dh mu pht+ksa ds lkfk ge [ksyrs jgrs gas] lekl;k,a [km+h djrs jgrs gsa---lel;k,a eu dh mit gksrh gsaa vr% eu dks viuh lel;kvksa ds

3 fromf&lf Now, is it that we are seeking happiness or is it that we are seeking gratification of some kind from which we hope to derive happiness? There is a difference between happiness and gratification. Can you seek happiness? Perhaps you can find gratification but surely you cannot find happiness. Happiness is derivative; it is a by-product of something else. So, before we give our minds and hearts to something which demands a great deal of earnestness, attention, thought, care, we must find out, must we not, what it is that we are seeking; whether it is happiness, or gratification? I am afraid most of us are seeking gratification. We want to be gratified, we want to find a sense of fullness at the end of our search. After all, if one is seeking peace one can find it very easily. One can devote oneself blindly to some kind of cause, to an idea, and take shelter there. Surely that does not solve the problem. Mere isolation in an enclosing idea is not a release from conflict. So we must find, must we not, what it is inwardly, as well as outwardly that each one of us wants? If we are clear on that matter, then we don't have to go anywhere, to any teacher, to any church, to any organization. Therefore our difficulty is, to be clear in ourselves regarding our intention, is it not? Can we be clear? And does this clarity come through searching, through trying to find out what others say, from the highest teacher to the ordinary preacher in a church around the corner? Have you got to go to somebody to find out? Yet that is what we are doing, is it not? We read innumerable books, we attend many meetings and blhfy, ge bldh ryk k esa HkVdrs jgrs gsa&&,d usrk ls nwljs usrk ds ikl],d /kkfezd laxbu ls nwljs ds ikl],d xq# ls nwljs xq# ds ikla rks D;k ge bl [kq kh] bl lq[k&psu dks [kkst jgs gsa ;k,d,slh ifjrqf V pkg jgs gsa ftlls gesa [kq kh fey ikus dh vk kk gs\ [kq kh vksj ifjrks k esa varj gsa D;k [kq kh dks] lq[k& kkafr dks Hkyk [kkstk tk ldrk gs\ gks ldrk gs fd vkidks ifjrks k izkir gks tk;s] ijarq izluurk dnkfi ughaaa izluurk] lq[k& kkafr rks ijks{k gksrh gs] fdlh vu; pht+ dk mitkr gksrh gsa rks blls igys fd ge viuk fny&vks*&fnekx fdlh,slh pht++ esa yxk nsa ftleas vr;f/kd yxu] iwjs /;ku] fopkj khyrk vksj lko/kkuh dh njdkj gks] D;k gesa ;g tku ugha ysuk pkfg, fd vkf[kj og gs D;k ftlds ihns ge nksm+ im+s gsa\ og [kq kh gs ;k ifjrqf V gs\ eq>s ;g dgus esa vqlksl gksrk gs fd vf/kdrj yksx ifjrks k pkgrs gsaa ge ifjrq V gksuk pkgrs gsa] viuh ryk k ds var esa,d r`fir&hkko pkgrs gsaa ;fn dksbz kakfr pkgs rks mls ;g cm+h ljyrk ls fey ldrh gs&&og fdlh izdkj ds gsrq ;k fdlh er&fopkj ds izfr Lo;a dks lefizr dj ns] mldh kj.k esa pyk tk,a ijarq fuf pr gh blls lel;k dk lek/kku ughaa gksxka fdlh ifjc) er&fopkj dh pkj nhokjh esa,dkarokl dksbz }a} ls eqfdr ughaa gsa blfy;s D;k gesa ;g ughaaa tku ysuk pkfg, fd vakrfjd :i ls vksj ckgjh :i ls Hkh] og D;k gs ftls izr;sd O;fDr pkgrk gs\ ;fn ge bl fo k; esa Li V gks tk,a rks fqj gesa dgha tkus dh vko ;drk ughaa im+sxh&&u fdlh xq# ds ikl] u fdlh iwtk LFky esa] u fdlh laxbu esaa rks gekjh dfbukbz gs&&vius gh vk k; ds ckjs esa Lo;a Li V u gks ikuk&&;gh gs u\ D;k ge Li V gks ldrs gsa\ vksj D;k ;g Li Vrk fdlh ryk k }kjk ;k nwljksa dh dgh xbz ckrksa }kjk ;k fdlh lk/kkj.k izopudrkz ls ysdj fdlh igaqps gq, xq# dks lqudj izkir dh tk ldrh gs\ bl Li Vrk dks tkuus ds fy, D;k

4 -3- &3& fuokj.k gsrq Bgj tkuk gksxk] D;kasfd tc eu Bgj tkrk gs] izse rhkh vk ikrk gsa When You Know How to Love One You Know How to Love the Whole Love cannot be thought about, love cannot be cultivated, love cannot be practiced. The practice of love, the practice of brotherhood, is still within the field of the mind; therefore, it is not love. When all this has stopped, then love comes into being, then you will know what it is to love. Then love is not quantitative, but qualitative. You do not say, "I love the whole world," but when you know how to love one, you know how to love the whole. Because we do not know how to love one, our love of humanity is fictitious. When you love, there is neither one nor many there is only love. It is only when there is love that all our problems can be solved, and then we shall know its bliss and its happiness. tc vki fdlh,d dks izse djuk tku ysaxs rc lkjs lalkj dks izse djuk tku tk,axs izse dks lkspk ugha tk ldrk] izse dks mitk;k ughaa tk ldrk] izse dk vh;kl ugha fd;k tk ldrka izse dk vh;kl djuk] HkkbZpkjs dk vh;kl djuk lnk eu dh ifjf/k esa gh jgrk gs] vr% ;g lc izse ughaa gksrka tc ;g lc Fke tkrk gs] rc izse izos k djrk gs] rc vki tku ikrs gsa fd ;g izse djuk gksrk D;k gsa rc vki ;g ughaa dgasxs] ^^esa lkjs lalkj dks izse djrk gwa**] cfyd tc vki fdlh,d dks Hkh izse djuk tku ysaxs rc vki lkjs lalkj dks izse djuk tku tk,axsa ijarq] ge fdlh,d dks Hkh izse djuk ugha tkurs] ekuork ds izfr gekjk izse Ñf=e gsa tc vki izse djrs gsa] rc og u,d ds fy, gksrk gs] u vusd ds fy,&&og rks cl izse gksrk gsa tc izse gksrk gs] dsoy rhkh gekjh lkjh lel;kvksa dk lek/kku gks ldrk gs] vksj rhkh ge bldk vkuan o lq[k tku ikrs gsaa -4- &4& Love in Relationship Love in relationship is a purifying process as it reveals the ways of the self. How easy it is to destroy the thing we love! How quickly a barrier comes between us, a word, a gesture, a smile! Health, mood, and desire cast a shadow, and what was bright becomes dull and burdensome. Through usage we wear ourselves out, and that which was sharp and clear becomes wearisome and confused. Through constant friction, hope and frustration, that which was beautiful laca/k esa izse laca/kksa esa izse,d kq)hdj.k dh izfø;k gs D;ksafd ;g vga ds jax&<ax dks izdv djrk jgrk gsa ftl pht++ dks ge izse djrs gsa mls u V djuk fdruk ljy gsa gekjs chp vojks/k iy Hkj esa [km+k gks tkrk gs&&dksbz kcn] dksbz Hkko&Hkafxek] dksbz eqldkua LokLF;] euksn kk vksj bpnk ds dkys ckny bl ij eamjkus yxrs gsa vksj tks vhkh ped&ned jgk Fkk og /kwfey vksj cksf>y cu tkrk gsa iz;qdr gksrs&gksrs ge Lo;a dks [kik Mkyrs gsa vksj tks mìkar vksj iz[kj Fkk] og Jkar&Dykar vksj Hkzfer gks tkrk gsa tks laqnj vksj ljy

5 and simple becomes fearful and expectant. Relationship is complex and difficult, and few can come out of it unscathed. Though we would like it to be static, enduring, continuous, relationship is a movement, a process which must be deeply and fully understood and not made to conform to an inner or outer pattern. Conformity, which is the social structure, loses its weight and authority only when there is love. Love is a purifying process as it reveals the ways of the self. Without this revelation, relationship has little significance. Fkk] fujarj la?k kz] vk kk vksj grk kk ds pyrs og Hk;kud vksj vis{kh cu tkrk gsa laca/k tfvy vksj dfbu gksrs gsaa vksj kk;n gh dksbz buls vukgr jgk gksa ; fi ge bldks flfkj] fvdkå vksj lrr j[kuk pkgrs gsa] ijarq laca/k rks,d izokg gksrk gs],d,slk izøe gksrk gs ftls xgjkbz rd vksj iwjh rjg le>uk t+:jh gs] u fd bls fdlh vkarfjd ;k ckgjh <jsz dh yhd ij pyus dks etcwj djuka yhd ij pyuk] vuqdj.k djuk,d lkekftd <jkz g]s ijarq ;g viuk ncko vksj viuh izhkqrk rc [kks nsrk gs tc izse izos k djrk gsa izse,d kq)hdj.k dh izfø;k gs] D;ksafd ;g vga ds] Lo ds jax&<ax dks izdv djrk jgrk gsa bl izkdv~; ds fcuk laca/k dk dksbz egùo ughaa jg tkrka -5- &5& We Do Not Love; We Crave to Be Loved ge izse ughaa djrs cfyd izse ikus dks ykykf;r jgrs gsa But how we struggle against this revelation! The struggle takes many forms: dominance or subservience, fear or hope, jealousy or acceptance, and so and on. The difficulty is that we do not love; and if we do love we want it to function in a particular way, we do not give it freedom. We love with our minds and not with our hearts. Mind can modify itself, but love cannot. Mind can make itself invulnerable, but love cannot; mind can always withdraw, be exclusive, become personal or impersonal. Love is not to be compared and hedged about. Our difficulty lies in that which we call love, which is really of the mind. We fill our hearts with the things of the mind and so keep our hearts ever empty and expectant. It is the mind that clings, that is envious, that holds and destroys. Our life is dominated by the physical centers and by the mind. We do not love and let it alone, but crave to be loved; we give in order to receive, which is the generosity ijarq ge bl izkdv~; ds fo#) D;k&D;k ughaa djrsa gekjk ;g eqdkcyk ukuk :i /kj dj vkrk gs % gkoh jguk ;k rkcsnkj gksuk] Hk; ;k vk kk] bz ;kz ;k eku;rk] br;kfna dfbukbz ;g gs fd ge izse ughaa djrs] vksj djrs Hkh gsa rks pkgrs gsa fd ;g gekjh vis{kkuqlkj dk;z djs&&ge bls Lora=rk ughaa nsrsa ge vius eu ls izse djrs gsa] ân; ls ughaa eu Lo;a dks cny ldrk gs ijarq izse ughaaa eu vius f[km+dh&njokt+s can dj ldrk gs] fdykcanh dj ldrk gs] ijarq izse,slk ugha dj ldrka eu dhkh Hkh Lo;a esa flev ldrk gs] vyx&fkyx gks ldrk gs] os;fdrd ;k fuozs;fdrd gks ldrk gs( izse dh u rqyuk dh tk ldrh gs] u bls pkjnhokjh esa can fd;k tk ldrk gsa gekjh dfbukbz mlhesa gs ftls ge rks izse dg nsrs gsa] ijarq gksrk og lkjk eu dk ekeyk gsa ge vius ân; dks eu dh pht+ksa ls Hkjrs jgrs gsa vksj blhfy, vius ân; dks lnso [kkyh vksj vis{kh cuk, j[krs gsaa ;g eu gh gs tks fpidrk gs] bz ;kzyq gksrk gs] idm+rk&tdm+rk gs vksj

6 of the mind and not of the heart. The mind is ever seeking certainty, security; and can love be made certain by the mind? Can the mind, whose very essence is of time, catch love, which is its own eternity? But even the love of the heart has its own tricks; for we have so corrupted our heart that it is hesitant and confused. It is this that makes life so painful and wearisome. One moment we think we have love, and the next it is lost. There comes an. imponderable strength, not of the mind, whose sources may not be fathomed. This strength is again destroyed by the mind; for in this battle the mind seems invariably to be the victor. This conflict within ourselves is not to be resolved by the cunning mind or by the hesitant heart. There is no means, no way to bring this conflict to an end. The very search for a means is another urge of the mind to be the master, to put away conflict in order to be peaceful, to have love, to become something. fouk k djrk gsa gekjs thou ij nsfgd dsanzksa dk izhkqrok jgrk gs vksj ;k fqj jgrk gs eu dka,slk ugha gksrk fd ge cl izse djsa] cfyd izse ikus dks ykykf;r jgrs gsaa ge nsrs blfy, gsa rkfd ik ldsa&&,slh ^mnkjrk* eu dh gks ldrh gs] ân; dh ughaaa eu lnso lqfuf prrk vksj lqj{kk pkgrk jgrk gs] rks D;k eu }kjk izse lqfuf pr fd;k tk ldrk gs\ dky esa thus okys eu dh igqap D;k ml izse rd gks ldrh gs tks Lo;a esa vuar o vlhe gs\ ijarq] ân; ds izse ds vius pdes gas] D;kasfd geus ân; dks bruk Hkz V dj fn;k gs fd og vfuf pr o Hkzfer gks x;k gs] blh dkj.k thou bruk osnuke; vksj uhjl gks x;k gsa,d iy ge lksprs gsa fd geesa izse gs] ijarq nwljs gh iy og frjksfgr gks tkrk gsa,d vdyiuh; ÅtkZ dk vkxeu gksrk gs] og ÅtkZ eu dh ugha gksrh] vksj mlds lzksr dks ekik ugha tk ldrka fqj ;g ÅtkZ eu }kjk u V dj nh tkrh gs] D;ksafd bl ;q) esa eu lnso fot;h gksrk yxrk gsa gekjs Hkhrj py jgs bl }a} dk lek/kku pkykd eu ;k vfuf pr ân; }kjk ughaa fd;k tk ldrka bl }a} dk var djus dk dksbz lk/ku] dksbz rjhdk ughaa gsa fdlh lk/ku dh ryk k eu dh nwljh pkgr cu tkrh gs&&lokeh cuus ds fy;s] kkafr ikus gsrq] }a} dk var djus ds fy;s] izse ikus ds fy;s] ;k dqn cu tkus ds fy;sa -6- &6& Love Is Not Yours or Mine Our greatest difficulty is to be widely and deeply aware that there is no means to love as a desirable end of the mind.when we understand this really and profoundly, then there is a possibility of receiving something that is not of this world. Without the touch of that something, do what we will, there can be no lasting happiness in relationship. If you have received that benediction and I have not, naturally you and I will be in conflict. izse vkidk ;k esjk ughaaa gksrk gekjs fy, vpnh rjg vksj xgjkbz rd ;g le> ysuk vr;ar dfbu gs fd izse dks fdlh Hkh rjg ls eu dk bfpnr y{; ughaa cuk;k tk ldrka ;fn ge ;g ckr oklro esa vksj xgjkbz ls le> ysa rks dqn,slk xzg.k dj ikus dh lahkkouk curh gs tks vyksfdd gs] bl nqfu;k dk ughaaa gsa mlds Li kz ds fcuk ge pkgs tks djrs jgsa] gekjs laca/kksa esa LFkk;h izluurk ughaaa vk ldrha ;fn vki ml izse dks] ml vkf k k dks xzg.k dj ik;s gas vksj

7 You may not be in conflict, but I will be; and in my pain and sorrow I cut myself off. Sorrow is as exclusive as pleasure, and until there is that love which is not of my making, relationship is pain. If there is the benediction of that love, you cannot but love me whatever I may be, for then you do not shape love according to my behavior. esa ughaaa] rks LokHkkfod gs fd vki vksj esa }a} esa jgsaxsa gks ldrk gs fd vki }a}xzlr u jgsa] ijarq esa rks jgwaxk gh vksj viuh bl ihm+k vksj nq[k ds dkj.k esa Lo;a dks vyx&fkyx dj yawxka nq[k Hkh mruk gh fcyxkodkjh gksrk gs ftruk lq[k] vr% tc rd eq> esa,slk izse u vk tk, tks fd esjs }kjk x<+k u x;k gks] rc rd laca/k ihm+kizn cuk jgsxka tc izse dk vkfohkkzo gks tkrk gs rc esa tslk Hkh gwa] vki eq>s izse djsaxs gh] D;ksafd rc vki izse dks esjs crkzo ds vuqlkj :Ik o vkdkj ughaa ns jgs gkasxsa -7- &7& What Makes Us Stale in Relationship? If you observe, what makes us stale in our relationship is thinking, calculating, judging, weighing, adjusting ourselves; and the one thing that frees us from that is love, which is not a process of thought. og D;k gs tks gekjs laca/kksa esa uhjlrk ys vkrk gs ;fn vki /;ku nsa rks vki ns[ksaxs fd tks pht++ gekjs laca/kksa esa uhjlrk ys vkrh gs og gs fopkj djuk] fglkc&fdrkc djuk] xq.k&foospu djuk] ewy;kadu djuk] Lo;a dks dkv&nkav djds nwljs ds vuqdwy cukuka vksj] tks oklro esa gesa bl lc ls eqdr djrh gs og gs izse] tks fd fopkj dh izfø;k ughaa gsa -8- &8& When There Is No Love, We Invent Marriage When there is no love, then the framework of marriage as an institution becomes a necessity. When there is love, then sex is not a problem it is the lack of love that makes it into a problem. Don't you know? When you love somebody really deeply not with the love of the mind, but realiy from your heart you share with him or her everything that you have, not your body only, but everything. In your trouble, you ask her help and she helps you. There is no division between man and woman when you love somebody, but there is a sexual problem when you do not know izse dk vhkko gs fookg dk vkfo dkj tc izse u gks] rc,d lalfkk ds :i esa fookg dh LFkkiuk vko ;drk cu tkrh gsa ;fn izse gs rks ;ksukpkj dksbz lekl;k ughaa curk&&;g rks izse dk vhkko gs tks bls lel;k cuk nsrk gsa vki tkurs gsa u] fd tc vki fdlh ls oklro esa xgjkbz ls izse djrs gsa&&eu ds Lrj ij ugha] cfyd fny dh xgjkb;ksa ls&&rc vki ml lkfkh ds lkfk gj ml pht++ dks ckavrs gsa tks vkids ikl gs] dsoy ru gh ughaa cfyd lc dqna viuh dfbukbz esa vki mlls lgk;rk ds fy;s dgrs gsa vksj og lgk;rk djrk gs ;k djrh gsa tc vki fdlh ls izse djrs gas rc iq# k ;k L=h tslk dksbz fohkktu jg ughaa tkrk] ijarq

8 that love. tc vki ml izse dks ugha tkurs gsa] rc ;ksukpkj lekl;k cu tkrk gssa -9- &9& Gratification Is Not the Flame of Love Questioner: You have talked about relationship based on usage of another for one's own gratification, and. you have often hinted at a state called love. What do you mean by love? Krishnamurti: We know what our relationship is a mutual gratification and use, though we clothe it by calling it love. In usage there is tenderness for and the safeguarding of what is used. We safeguard our frontier, our books, our property; similarly, we are careful in safeguarding our wives, our families, our society, because without them we would be lonely, lost. Without the child, the parent feels lonely; what you are not, the child will be, so the child becomes an instrument of your vanity. We know the relationship of need and usage. We need the postman and he needs us, yet we don't say we love the postman. But we do say that we love our wives and children, even though we use them for our personal gratification and are willing to sacrifice them for the vanity of being-called patriotic. We know this process very well, and obviously, it cannot be love. Love that uses, exploits, and then feels sorry, cannot be love because love is not a thing of the mind. Now, let us experiment and discover what love is discover, not merely rqf V esa izse dh yks ughaa gksrh iz udrkz% vkius Lo;a dh rqf V ds fy;s nwljs dk mi;ksx djus ij vk/kkfjr laca/k dh ckr dgh gs] vksj vkius vdlj ml volfkk dh vksj Hkh ladsr fd;k gs ftls izse dgk tkrk gsa vkidk izse ls rkri;z D;k gs\ Ñ.kewfrZ% ge tkurs gsa fd gekjs laca/k D;k gsaa&&os ikjlifjd rq Vhdj.k vksj mi;ksx gh rks gsa] ; fi ge mugsa izse uke dh pknj vks<+k nsrs gsaa mi;ksfxrk esa] ftl pht++ dk ge mi;ksx djrs gsa] mlds izfr lân;rk vksj mldh lqj{kk dk Hkko rks gekjs eu esa jgrk gh gsa ge viuh ljgnksa dh] vius xzafkksa vksj laifÿk dh lqj{kk djrs gsaa blh izdkj ge viuh ifru;ksa] vius ifjokjksa vksj vius lekt dh lqj{kk ds izfr lko/kku jgrs gsa] D;ksafd muds fcuk rks ge vdsys im+ tk,axs] dgha ds ughaa jgsaxsa cpps ds fcuk vfhkhkkod vdsyk eglwl djrs gsaa tks vki ughaa gks lds] cppk og cusxk] vksj] bl izdkj cppk x+q:j dk] Q &vks*&ukt+ dk lk/ku cu tkrk gsa ge vko ;drk vksj mi;ksx dk gh laca/k tkurs gsaa gesa Mkfd;s dh vko ;drk gs vksj mls gekjh] fqj Hkh ge ;g ughaa dgrs fd ge Mkfd;s dks izse djrs gsa] ijarq ge ;g rks dgrs gh gas fd ge viuh iruh vksj cppksa dks izse djrs gsa] Hkys gh ge mudk viuh O;fDrxr rqf V ds fy;s mi;ksx djrs gksa] vksj ns khkdr dgyk;s tkus ds xoz ds fy, ge mudh cfy nsus dks rs;kj jgrs gsaa ge bl izfø;k dks Hkyh&Hkakfr tkurs gsa] vksj ;g ckr lkq gs fd bls izse ughaa dgk tk ldrka og izse tks mi;ksx djrk gs vksj fqj [ksn eglwl djrk gs] og izse ughaa gks ldrk] D;ksafd izse eu dk ekeyk ugha gksrka vkb, vc ge ij[ksa] vuos k.k djsa fd izse D;k gs&&bldk vuos k.k dsoy kkfcnd :i esa

9 verbally, but by actually experiencing that state. When you use me as a guru and I use you as disciple, there is mutual exploitation. Similarly, when you use your wife and children for your furtherance, there is exploitation. Surely, that is not love. When, there is use, there must be possession; possession invariably breeds fear, and with fear come jealousy, envy, suspicion. When there is usage, there cannot be love, for love is not something of the mind. To think about a. person is not to love that person. You think about a person only when that person is not present, when he is dead, when he has run off, or when he does not give you what you want. Then your inward insufficiency sets the process of the mind going. When that person is close to you, you do not think of him; to think of him when he is close to you is to be disturbed, so you take him for granted he is there. Habit is a means of forgetting and being at peace so that you won't be disturbed. So, usage must invariably lead to invulnerability, and that is not love. What is that state when usage which is thought process as a means to cover the inward insufficiency, positively or negatively is not? What is that state when there is no sense of gratification? Seeking gratification is the very nature of the mind. Sex is sensation which is created, pictured by the mind, and then the mind acts or does not act. Sensation is a process of thought, which is not love. When the mind is dominant and the thought process is important, there is no love. This process of usage, thinking, imagining, holding, enclosing, rejecting, is all smoke, and when the smoke is not, the flame of love is. Sometimes we do u djds ml volfkk dks oklro esa vuqhkwr djsaa tc vki eq>s xq# ds :i esa vksj esa vkidks f k ; ds :i esa blrseky djrk gwa] rc ;g ikjlifjd kks k.k gqvka blh izdkj tc vki viuh iruh ;k cppksa dks viuh csgrjh ;k c<+ksrjh ds fy;s iz;ksx djrs gsa] rc og Hkh 'kks k.k gh gsa fu p; gh] og isze ughaa gsa tc iz;ksx gksrk gs rc LokfeRoHkko rks gksxk gh] vksj LokfeROk fuf pr #i ls Hk; dks tue nsrk gs] vksj Hk; ds lkfk bz ;kz] Mkg vksj kd Hkh pys vkrs gsaa tgka mi;ksx gksrk gs ogka izse ughaa gks ldrk] D;ksafd isze eu dk ekeyk ugha gsa fdlh O;fDr ds ckjs esa lkspuk mlls izse djuk ughaa gksrka vki fdlh O;fDr ds ckjs esa rhkh lksprs gsa tc og miflfkr u gks] ;k og ej pqdk gks] ;k vkidks NksM+dj pyk x;k gks] ;k tc og vkidks ^og* dqn u ns jgk gkss tks vki mlls pkgrs gsaa rc vkidh vkrafjd viw.kzrk eu dks lkspus dh izfø;k esa Mky nsrh gsa ;fn og O;fDr vkids fudv gh gs rc vki mlds ckjs esa ughaa lksprsa mlds fudv jgrs mlds ckjs esa lkspuk rks cspsu vksj v kakr gksuk gs] D;ksafd vki ;g ekudj pyrs gsa fd og ;gha rks gsa vknr rks Hkwyus vksj kakfr ds lkfk jgus dk,d lk/ku gs] rkfd vki psu ls jg ldsaa bl izdkj] mi;ksx gesa vifjgk;z :i ls vue;rk dh vksj] vlaosnu khyrk dh vksj ys tkrk gs&&vksj] ;g izse ugha gksrka og dksu lh volfkk gs tc ldkjkred ;k udkjkred :i ls viuh vkarfjd viw.kzrk dks <akius ds fy;s lk/ku :ih ;g fopkj izfø;k vfkkzr ;g mi;ksx u gks\ og dksu lh volfkk gs] ftlesa vkre&rqf V dk dksbz Hkko gh u gks\ vkre&rqf V pkguk eu dk eksfyd LoHkko gsa lsdl,d laosnu gs&&eu }kjk fpf=r o jfpr&&fqj eu ;k rks dqn djrk gs ;k ughaaa djrka ;g lulukgv fopkj dk [ksy gs&&izse ughaa gsa tgka eu gkoh gksrk gss vksj fopkj izfø;k egùoiw.kz] rks ogka izse ugha gksrka mi;ksx dh] fopkj.kk dh] dyiuk dh] LokfeRo dh] vius [kksy esa flevs jgus dh] vyxko dh ;g izfø;k&&;g lc /kqvka gs vksj tc ;g /kqvka ugha jgrk]

10 have that flame, rich, full, complete; but the smoke returns... rhkh izse dh yks txrh gsa dhkh&dhkh ;g nhi;eku~] Hkjiwj] laiw.kz yks geesa txrh rks gs] ijarq /kqvka iqu% yksv vkrk gs &10& Don't Debate Opposites: Neither Celibacy nor Promiscuity Those who are trying to be celibate in order to achieve God are unchaste for they are seeking a result or gain and so substituting the end, the result, for sex which is fear. Their hearts are without love... Only when the mind and heart are unburdened of fear, of the routine of sensational habits, when there is generosity and compassion, there is love. Such love-is chaste. czãp;z ;k LoPNan ;ksukpkj&&bu foijhrrkvksa ds lefkzd u cuas tks yksx bz ojizkfir ds fy;s czãp;z ij pyus dk iz;ru dj jgs gsa os vifo= gsa] nwf kr gsa] D;kasfd os dksbz ifj.kke ;k dqn gkfly djuk pkgrs gsa] blfy, mugksaus ;ksukpkj ds fodyi Lo:i bz oj izkfir ds bl y{;] bl ifj.kke dks vius lkeus j[k fy;k gs&&;g mudk Hk; gsa mudk ân; izsefoghu gksrk gsa eu vksj ân; tc Hk; ds Hkkj ls vksj lulukgv nsus okyh vknrksa ds pø ls eqdr gks tkrs gsa] muesa tc mnkjrk vksj d#.kk dk okl gks tkrk gs] rc izse fo eku jgrk gsa,slk izse gh vnwf kr] ifo= gksrk gsa -11- &11& Why Is It that Sex and Marriage Have Become Such Problems? How is it possible to meet the sexual demand intelligently and not turn it into a problem? Now, what do we mean by sex? The purely physical act, or the thought that excites, stimulates, furthers that act? Surely, sex is of the mind, and because it is of the mind, it must seek fulfillment, or there is frustration... Why is it that sex has become such a problem in our lives? Let us go into it, not with constraint, not with anxiety, fear, condemnation. Why has it become a problem? Surely, for most of you it is a problem. Why? Probably, you have never,slk D;ksa gs fd ;ksukpkj vksj fookg bruh cm+h lel;k cu x;s gsa\ ;ksukpkj dh ekax dks izkkiwozd iwjk djuk vksj mls lel;k esa rcnhy u gksus nsuk dsls lahko gs\ ;ksukpkj ;k lsdl ls vkidk D;k rkri;z gs\ ;g iwjh rjg,d kkjhfjd fø;k gs ;k og fopkj gs tks bl fø;k dks mÿksftr djrk gs] mdlkrk gs vksj mlds fy, mrkoyk cukrk gsa fu p; gh] ;ksukpkj eu dh mit gs] vksj] pwafd ;g eu dh mit gs blhfy, eu bls vatke nsuk pkgrk gs] vu;fkk og f[kuu] daqfbr gks tkrk gs---,slk D;ksa gs fd ;ksukpkj gekjs thou dh bruh cm+h lekl;k cu csbk gsa vkb,] bl ij fopkj&foe kz djsa&&dksbz y{e.kjs[kk [khaps fcuk] O;xzrk] Hk; ;k HkRlZuk ds fcuk ns[ksa fd ;g lel;k D;ksa cu x;k gsa fu p; gh] vkiesa ls vf/kdka k ds fy;s ;g lel;k gh

11 asked yourself why it is a problem. Let us find out. Sex is a problem because it would seem that in that act there is a. complete absence of the self. In that moment you are happy because there is the cessation of self-consciousness, of the 'me'; and desiring more; of it.-more of the abnegation of the self in which there is complete happiness through full fusion, integration, naturally it becomes allimportant. Isn't that so? Because it is something that gives me unadulterated joy, complete self-forgetfulness, I want more and more of it. Now, why do I want more of it? Because everywhere else I am in conflict, everywhere else, at all the different levels of existence, there is the strengthening of the self. Economically, socially, religiously, there is the constant thickening of self-consciousness, which is conflict. After all, you are selfconscious only when there is conflict. Self-consciousness is in its very nature the result of conflict. So, everywhere else we are in conflict. In all our relationships with property, with people, with ideas there is conflict, pain, struggle, misery; but in this one act there is complete cessation of all that. Naturally you want more of it because it gives you happiness, while all the rest leads you to misery, turmoil, conflict, confusion, antagonism, worry, destruction; therefore, the sexual act becomes all-significant, all-important. So, the problem is not sex, surely, but how to be free from the self... Sirs, the self is not an objective entity that can be studied under the microscope or learned through books or understood through quotations, however weighty those quotations may be. It can be gsa D;ksa\ vkius kk;n Lo;a ls ;g ugha iwnk gs fd ;g,d lel;k D;ksa gsa vkb,] bldk irk yxk,aaa ;ksukpkj,d lel;k gs] D;ksafd],slk izrhr gksrk gs fd bl fø;k esa vga dk] Lo dk laiw.kz vhkko gks tkrk gsa ml iy vki lq[ke; gks tkrs gsa D;ksafd ml iy [kqnh ds,glkl dk] ^esa* dk volku gks x;k gksrk gsa blhfy, bls vf/kdkf/kd pkguk&&iw.kz,dhdj.k vksj foy; ds QyLo:i Hkjiwj [kq kh nsus okyh Lo&fu ks/k dh bl volfkk dks vksj&vksj pkguk&&lohkkor% egùoiw.kz gks tkrk gsa D;ksafd ;g dqn,slk gs tks eq>s fo kq) vkg~ykn vksj iw.kz vkre&folej.k dk ykhk nsrk gs] vr% esa bls ckjackj pkgrk gwaa ijarq esa bls vf/kdkf/kd pkgrk D;ksa gwa\ D;ksafd vu;= loz= esa }a}e; jgrk gwa] D;ksafd vu;= loz= thou ds gj Lrj ij vga] Lo izcy gksrk jgrk gsa vkffkzd] lkekftd vksj /kkfezd :i ls vgahkko] fujarj Qwyrk tkrk gs&&;g }a} gh gsa vkf[kj] vkidks f>>d vksj tdm+u rhkh /kj ncksprh gs tc }a} gksrk gsa Lo dh idm+ dk] [kqnh ds,glkl dk eryc gh gs }a} dk] Vdjko dk gksuka rks] vu;= loz= ge }a} esa gh jgrs gsaa olrqvksa] O;fDr;ksa vksj fopkjksa ds lkfk vius laca/kksa esa ge }a}] ihm+k] la?k kz vksj nq[k ds lkfk jgrs gsa] ijarq blh,d fø;k esa bu lhkh dk volku gks tkrk gsa LokHkkfod gh] vki bls vksj&vksj pkgsaxs D;ksafd ;g vki dks lq[ke; cukrh gsa tcfd] vu; lhkh fø;k,a vkidks nq[k] fo{kkshk] }a}] my>u] fojks/k&izfrjks/k] fpark vksj fouk k gh nsus okyh gksrh gsaa,sls esa ;ksukpkj gh,deso lkfkzd vksj,deso egùoiw.kz?kvuk tku im+rh gsa rks] fu p; gh ;ksukpkj dksbz lel;k ughaa gs] lel;k gs fd ^esa* ls eqdr dsls gqvk tk,-- egksn;] vga dk] Lo dk dksbz olrqxr vflrro ughaa gs ftldk v/;;u&ijh{k.k fdlh lw{en khz ;a= ds uhps j[kdj vfkok xzafkkas ;k lw=ksa ds ek/;e ls fd;k tk lds&&hkys gh os fdrus Hkh vfkziw.kz vksj

12 understood only in relationship. After all, conflict is in relationship, whether with property, with an idea, with your wife, or with your neighbor; and without solving that fundamental conflict, merely to hold onto that one release through sex, is obviously to be unbalanced. And that is exactly what we are. We are unbalanced because we have made sex the one avenue of escape; and society, so-called modern culture, helps us to do it. Look at the advertisements, the cinemas, the suggestive gestures, postures, appearances. Most of you married when you were quite young, when the biological urge was very strong. You took a wife or a husband, and with that wife or husband you jolly well have to live for the rest of your life. Your relationship is merely physical, and everything else has to be adjusted to that. So what happens? You are intellectual, perhaps, and she is very emotional. Where is your communion with her? Or she is very practical, and you are dreamy, vague, rather indifferent. Where is the contact between you and her when you use her? Our marriages are now based on that idea, on that urge; but more and more there are contradictions and great conflicts in marriage, and so divorces. So, this problem requires intelligent handling, which means that we have to alter the whole basis of our education; and that demands understanding not only the facts of life but also our everyday existence, not only knowing and understanding the biological urges, the sexual urge, but also seeing how to deal with it intelligently. nenkj D;ksa u gkasa bls rks dsoy laca/kksa esa gh le>k tk ldrk gsa vkf[kj] }a} Hkh rks laca/kksa esa gh gksrk gs] pkgs og olrq ds lkfk gks] fopkj ds lkfk gks] viuh iruh ;k vius im+kslh ds lkfk gksa bl izdkj bl ewyhkwr }a} dk fuokj.k fd;s fcuk] ;ksukpkj ls visf{kr cl ml futkr ls] ml fjgkbz ls fpids jguk fuf pr gh vlarqyu dh fu kkuh gsa vksj] Bhd,slk gh rks gs gekjs lkfka ge vlarqfyr gsa] D;ksafd ;ksukpkj gekjs fy, iyk;u dh jkg cu x;k gs] vksj ;g lekt vksj rfkkdffkr vk/kqfud lald`fr,slk djus esa gekjk lkfk ns jgs gsaa rfud bu fokkiuksa] flusekvksa] O;atd eqnzkvksa o Hkko&Hkafxekvksa vksj nsg&izn kzuksa dks rks nsf[k,a vki esa ls vf/kdka k dk fookg rhkh gks x;k Fkk tc vki fcydqy ;qok Fks] tc kkjhfjd vkosx izcy FkkA vkius iruh ;k ifr dks ik fy;k] vksj ml iruh ;k ifr ds lkfk vkidks viuh ckdh ft+anxh fcrkuh gsa vksj vkidk laca/k dsoy kkjhfjd gksrk gs] vksj vu; lhkh ckrsa ;k pht+s+a mlh ds vuqlkj lek;ksftr dj yh tkrh gsaa fqj D;k gksrk gs\ vki kk;n cqf)thoh gksa vksj og cgqr Hkkoqd gks] vkidk mlls feyuk dgka gks ikrk gs\ ;k] og cgqr ;FkkFkZoknh gks vksj vki dyiukvksa esa [kks;s jgus okys] vfuf pr] vksj dqn gn rd mnklhua rks] tc vki mldk mi;ksx djrs gsa rc vkidk vksj mldk laca/k D;k gks ikrk gs\ gekjs fookg mlh /kkj.kk] mlh vkosx ij vk/kkfjr gsa] vksj bu fookgkas esa ftrus vf/kd fojks/k&izfrjks/k vksj }a} iui jgs gsa] mrus gh rykd c<+ jgs gsaa rks bl lel;k dks le>nkjh ls lqy>k;k tkuk pkfg,] ftldk vfkz gs fd gesa viuh f k{kk dk laiw.kz vk/kkj cnyuk gksxk] ijarq blds fy, thoufo k;d rf;ksa dks gh ughaa] cfyd fnu&izfrfnu ds thou dks Hkh le>us dh vko ;drk gs] dsoy kkjhfjd vkosxksa] ;ksukosx dks gh tkuus&le>us dh ugha] cfyd ;g ns[kus dh Hkh vko ;drk gksxh fd ge bl lc ds lkfk izkkiwozd dsls nks&pkj gkasa

13 -12- &12& Insight Sees the Limits of Thought In All of This Mercy and pity, forgiveness and respect are not emotions. There is love when sentimentality and emotion and devotion cease. Devotion is not love; devotion is a form of self-expansion. Respect is not for the few, but for man, whether he is low or high. Generosity and mercy have no reward. Love alone can transform insanity, confusion, and strife. No system, no theory of the left or of the right can bring peace and happiness to man. Where there is love, there is no possessiveness, no envy; there is mercy and compassion, not in theory, but actually to your wife and to your children, to your neighbor... There is love with its blessing when 'you' cease to be. varnz`f V bl lc esa fopkj dh lhekvksa dks ns[k ikrh gs n;k vksj rjl] {kek vksj vknj&&;s Hkkouk,a ughaa gsaa izse rc vkrk gs tc Hkkoqdrk] Hkkokosx vksj mikluk&hkko dk volku gks tkrk gsa mikluk izse ugha gksrh] og rks vga&folrkj dk gh,d :i gsa vknj FkksM+s ls yksxksa ds fy;s gh ugha cfyd ekuo ek= ds fy;s gks] vknj dk Åaps&uhps ls dksbz ljksdkj ugha gksrka mnkjrk vksj n;k dk dksbz ikfjrksf kd ughaaa gksrka,deso izse gh muekn] fohkze vksj dyg dk :ikarj.k dj ldrk gsa vu; dksbz Hkh <kapk] dksbz Hkh er&fl)kar&&pkgs og okeiafkh gks ;k nf{k.kiafkh&&ekuo dks kkafr o [kq kh ughaa ns ldrka tgka izse gksrk gs ogka LokfeRoHkko dh] bz ;kz dh dksbz txg ugha] ogka rks fo eku gksrh gs mnkjrk vksj d#.kk&&dsoy fl)akrr% ugha cfyd olrqr%&&viuh iruh ds izfr] vius cppksa ds izfr] vius im+kslh ds izfr--- tc ^vki* ughaa jgrs rc vkrk gs izse&& vksj og Hkh vius lkjs migkjksa ds lkfka -13- &13& Can Love Be Fixed, Static? An experience of pleasure makes us demand more of it, and the 'more' is this urge to be secure in our pleasures. If we love someone, we want to be quite sure that that love is returned, and we seek to establish a relationship which we at least hope will be permanent. All our society is based on that relationship. But is there anything which is permanent? Is there? Is love permanent? Our constant desire is to make sensation permanent, is it not? And the thing which cannot be made D;k izse dqn Bgj x;k&lk vksj xfrghu gks ldrk gs\ fdlh fo k;&lq[k dk vuqhko mls iqu%&iqu% ikus dh pkgr ge esa isnk dj nsrk gs] rfkk ;g ^vksj&vksj* dh pkgr vius lq[k esa lqjf{kr jgus dh ryc gksrh gsa ;fn ge fdlh dks izse djrs gsa rks bl ckr dh lqfuf prrk pkgrs gsa fd gesa mlls izse dk izfrnku feysa blfy, ge,slk laca/k LFkkfir djus esa yx tkrs gsa ftlls ge ;g vk kk djrs gsa fd og LFkk;h jgsxka gekjk lkjk lekt blh izdkj ds laca/k ij vk/kkfjr gsa ijarq] D;k blesa dqn Hkh,slk gs tks LFkk;h

14 discuss, we join various organizations trying thereby to find a remedy to the conflict, to the miseries in our lives. Or, if we don't do all that, we think we have found; that is, we say that a particular organization, a particular teacher, a particular book satisfies us; we have found everything we want in that; and we remain in that, crystallized and enclosed. Do we not seek, through all this confusion, something permanent, something lasting, something which we call real, God, truth, what you like the name doesn't matter, the word is not the thing, surely. So don't let us be caughat in words. Leave that to the professional lecturers. There is a search for something permanent, is there not, in most of us? something we can cling to, something which will give us assurance, a hope, a lasting enthusiasm, a lasting certainty, because in ourselves we are so uncertain. We do not know ourselves. We know a lot about facts/what the books have said; but we do not know for ourselves, we do not have a direct experience. And what is it that we call permanent? What is it that we are seeking, which will, or which we hope will give us permanency? Are we not seeking lasting happiness, lasting gratification, lasting certainty? We want something that will endure everlastingly, which will gratify us. If we strip ourselves of all the words and phrases, and actually look at it, this is what we want. We want permanent pleasure... vkidks fdlh ds ikl tkus dh vko ;drk gs\ ijarq fqj Hkh ge ;gh dqn fd;s tk jgs gsaa ge vufxur iqlrdsa i<+rs gsa] vusd xksf B;ksa esa tkrs gsa] fopkj&foe kz djrs gsa] ge vius thou ds }a} vksj nq[k ls NqVdkjs ds funku gsrq fofhkuu laxbuksa esa kkfey gks tkrs gsaa vfkok ;fn ge ;g lc ughaa dj jgs gsa rks ge lksp jgs gksrs gsa fd geus ik fy;k gs vfkkzr ge dgus yxrs gsa fd veqd laxbu ;k veqd xq# ;k veqd iqlrd ls esa larq V gwa] tks dqn esa pkgrk Fkk eq>s mlesa fey x;k gsa vksj fqj ge mlh esa tes jgrs gsa&&?kuhhkwr gksdj] pkjnhokjh esa dsna bl lkjh Hkzkafr esa] my>u esa D;k ge,d,slh pht+ dh ryk k esa ugha gksrs gsa tks LFkk;h gks] lnk fo eku jgus okyh gks],d,slh pht+] ftls ge ;FkkFkZ] bz oj] lr; ;k,slk gh dksbz uke ns ldsaa fu p; gh] uke dk egùo ux.; gksrk gs] kcn ;FkkFkZ ughaa gksrsa blfy;s kcnksa esa er my> tkb,a ;g dk;z is ksoj izodrkvksa ds fy;s NksM+ nhft;sa vf/kdrj yksx,slh pht+ dh ryk k esa jgrs gsa tks LFkk;h gks],d,slh pht+ dh ryk k eas ftlls ge tqm+s jg ldsa] gesa vk oklu] vk kk] n`<+ mrlkg vksj,d fvdkå fuf prrk nsrh jgs D;ksafd ge Lo;a esa cgqr vf/kd vfuf pr gsa] ge Lo;a dks tkurs gh ughaa gasa ge nqfu;k Hkj ds rf; tkurs gsa] iqlrdksa esa D;k dgk x;k gs ;g ge tkurs gsa] ijarq ;g lc geus Lo;a izr;{kr% ughaa lh[kk gksrk gsa vksj og D;k gs ftls ge LFkk;h dgrs gsa\ vksj og D;k gs ftldh ykylk esa ge blfy;s yxs gsa ;k bl vk kk ls yxs gas fd og gesa LFkkf;Ro iznku dj nsxk\ D;k ge LFkk;h lq[k&psu] LFkk;h ifjrks k] LFkk;h fuf prrk dh ykylk esa ughaa yxs gq, gsa\ ge dksbz,slh pht+ pkgrs gsa tks lnk&loznk ds fy;s fvdh jgs] tks gesa ifjrks k nsrh jgsa ;fn ge viuh pkguk ij p<+s lkjs kcn&vkmacjksa dks mrkj nsa vksj fqj olrqr% mls ns[ksa rks ik,axs fd lpeqp ;gh rks gs tks ge pkg jgs gsaa ge lnk&loznk jgus okyk lq[k&foykl pkgrs gsa ----

15 permanent, which is love, passes us by. gs\ gs dqn\ D;k izse LFkk;h gs\ laosnu dks LFkk;h cukus dh gekjh fujarj bpnk jgrh gs] gs u\ vksj,slk dqn gekjs ikl ls xqt+j dj fudy tkrk gs ftlss LFkk;h cukuk lahko ugha gs&&vksj og gs izsea -14- &14& In Considering Marriage: Where You Are Important, Love Is Not We are trying to understand the problem of marriage, in which is implied sexual relationship, love, companionship, communion. Obviously if there is no love, marriage becomes a disgrace, does it not? Then it becomes mere gratification. To love is one of the most difficult things, is it not? Love can come into being, can exist only when the self is absent. Without love, relationship is a pain; however gratifying, or however superficial, it leads to boredom, to routine, to habit with all its implications. Then, sexual problems become all important. In considering marriage, whether it is necessary or not, one must first comprehend love. Surely love is chaste; without love you cannot be chaste; you may be a celibate, whether a man or a woman, but that is not being chaste, that is not being pure, if there is no love. If you have an ideal of chastity, that is if you want to become chaste, there is no love in it either because it is merely the desire to become something which you think is noble, which you think will help you to find reality; there is no love there at all. Licentiousness is not chaste, it leads only to degradation, to misery. So does the pursuit of an ideal. Both exclude love, both imply becoming something, indulging in something; and therefore you become important, and where you are important, love is not. fookg ds lanhkz esa % ;fn vki egùoiw.kz gsa] rks izse ugha gksxk ge izse dh lel;k dks le>us dk iz;kl dj jgs gsa vksj blesa ;ksssu&laca/k] izse] lax&lkfk] lfeeyu&&lhkh lekfgr gsa ;g Li V gs fd ;fn izse dk vhkko gs] rks fookg,d v kkshkuh; flfkfr cu tkrk gs] gs u\ rc ;g dsoy rq Vhdj.k jg tkrk gsa izse djuk dfbure dk;ksza esa ls,d gsa izse dk vkxeu] izse dk vflrro rhkh gks ldrk gs tc vga u jgsa izse ds vhkko esa laca/k,d ihm+k cu dj jg tkrk gsa og laca/k pkgs ftruk rqf Vdkjd gks vfkok lrgh gks] og Åcu dh vksj],d nlrwj ;k vknr cu tkus dh vksj pyus yxrk gs] tgka buls lacaf/kr my>ko Hkh buesa kkfey gksrs pys tkrs gsaa rc ;ksukpkj&lel;k lozizeq[k gks tkrh gsa fookg ds ckjs esa ;g fopkj djus ls iwoz fd ;g vko ;d gs ;k ughaa] gesa lozizfke bldk O;kid vfkz le> ysuk pkfg;sa fu p; gh izse ifo= gksrk gsa izse ds fcuk vki ifo= ^gks* ughaa ldrsa Hkys gh vki] iq# k ;k L=h] ;ksukpkjjfgr thou fcrk jgs gksa] ijarq ;fn vki esa izse ugha gs rks ;ksukpkjjfgr thou thus Hkj ls vki ifo=] ifj kq) ughaa gks tkrsa ;fn vkids eu esa ifo=rk dk dksbz vkn kz gs vfkkzr vki ifo= cuuk pkgrs gsa rks blesa dksbz izse ughaa gs D;ksafd ;g rks vkidh dqn,slk cuus dh bpnk ek= gs ftls vki vkn kz ekurs gsa] ftls vki lr; dks ikus esa lgk;d gksuk ekurs gsa&&ijarq blesa ys kek= Hkh izse ughaaa gksrka LosPNkpkjh ;ksukpkj ifo=rk ughaa gs] D;ksafd ;g rks iru dh vksj] nq[k dh vksj ys tkus okyk gsa fdlh vkn kz dk vuqlj.k djuk Hkh ogha ys tkrk gsa nksuksa izse dk cfg dkj djrs gsa] nksuksa esa dqn cuuk] fdlh

16 -15- &15& pht++ esa fyir jguk fufgr gs] rkfd vki egùoiw.kz cu tk,aa vksj] tc vki egùoiw.kz gksrs gsa] izse gksrk gh ughaaa In Habit There Is No Love Marriage as a habit, as a cultivation of habitual pleasure, is a deteriorating factor, because there is no love in habit. It is only for the very, very few who love that the married relationship has significance, and then it is unbreakable, then it is not mere habit or convenience, nor is it based on biological, sexual need. In that love which is unconditional the identities are fused, and in such a relationship there is a remedy, there is hope. But for most of you, the married relationship is not fused. To fuse the separate identities, you have to know yourself, and she has to know herself. That means to love. But there is no love, which is an obvious fact. Love is fresh, new, not mere gratification, not mere habit. It is unconditional. You don't treat your husband or wife that way, do you? You live in your isolation, and she lives in her isolation, and you have established your habits of assured sexual pleasure. What happens to a man who has an assured income? Surely, he deteriorates. Have you not noticed it? Watch a man who has an assured income and you will soon see how rapidly his mind is withering away. He may have a big position, a reputation for cunning, but the full joy of life is gone out of him. vknr esa izse ughaa jgrk osokfgd laca/kksa dk vknr esa kqekj gks tkuk] mlds lq[k dk vknh gks tkuk mugsa voufr dh vksj ys tkuk gs] D;kasfd vknr esa izse ughaa jg tkrka dsoy mu cgqr gh FkksM+s ls yksxksa ds fy,] tks izse djrs gsa] osokfgd laca/k lkfkzd gksrs gsa] vksj rc og laca/k vvwv gksrk gs] rc og muds fy, dksbz vknr ;k lqfo/kk ughaaa jg tkrk vksj u gh og 'kkjhfjd vfkok ;ksu vko ;drkvksa ij fvdk jgrk gsa fcuk fdlh krz fd;s tkus okys ml izse esa nksuksa ds O;fDrRo dk foy; gks tkrk gsa,sls gh laca/kksa esa lek/kku Hkh fufgr gs vksj vk kk HkhA ijarq vki yksxksa esa vf/kdrj ds osokfgd laca/kksa esa ;g foy; ughaa gks ikrka vki nks fhkuu O;fDr;ksa ds foy; ds fy;s vko ;d gs fd vki Lo;a dks tkusa vksj nwljk Hkh Lo;a dks tkusa bldk vfkz gqvk izse djuka ijarq vkids laca/kksa esa izse rks gs gh ughaa&&vksj ;g,d lh/kh&lknh lppkkbz gsa izse lnk uwru o uohu jgrk gs] u ;g rq Vhdj.k gksrk gs vksj u gh ;g vknr cu tkrk gsa ;g fujis{k&&fcuk krz gksrk gsa vki vius ifr ;k viuh iruh ds lkfk ;g izse ughaa djrs] ughaa u\ vki vius [kksy esa can jgrs gsa vksj og vius [kksy esaa vkius,d lqfuf pr ;ksu&laca/k dh,d vknr lh iky yh gsa ftl O;fDr dh vk; lqfuf pr gks tkrh gs] mldk D;k gksrk gs\ fu p; gh] mldk g~jkl gksus yxrk gsa vkius,slk ns[kk gs u\ ftl O;fDr dh vk; lqfuf'pr gks xbz gks] mls /;ku ls nsf[k, A vki ns[ksaxs fd fdruh rsth ls mldk eu fc[kjrk&eqj>krk tk jgk gsa Hkys gh mldh Åaph izfr Bk gks] eku&leeku gks] ijarq thou dk oklrfod

17 vkuan rks mlesa ls frjksfgr gks x;k gksrk gsa Similarly, you have a marriage in which you have a permanent source of pleasure, a habit without understanding, without love, and you are forced to live in that state. I am not saying what you should do, but look at the problem first. Do you think this is right? It does not mean that you must throw off your wife and pursue someone else. What does this relationship mean? Surely, to love is to be in communion with somebody, but are you in communion with your wife, except physically? Do you know her, except physically? Does she know you? Are you not both isolated, each pursuing Ms or her own interests, ambitions, and needs, each seeking from the other gratification, economic or psychological security? Such a relationship is not a relationship at all it is a mutually self-enclosing process of psychological, biological, and economic necessity and the obvious result is conflict, misery, nagging, possessive fear, jealousy, and so on. So marriage as a habit, as a cultivation of habitual pleasure, is a deteriorating factor because there is no love in habit. Love is not habitual; love is something joyous, creative, new. blh izdkj vkidk fookg gks x;k gs ftlls vki dks LFkk;h fo k;&lq[k miyc/k gksus yxk gs&&;g,d,slh vknr cu pqdk gs ftlesa dksbz le> ugha gs] dksbz izse ughaa gs] cl vki bl volfkk esa jgus ds fy;s ck/; jgrs gsaa esa ;g ughaa dg jgk gwa fd vkidks D;k djuk pkfg,] esjk rks dguk ;g gs fd igys lel;k dks rks nsf[k,a D;k vki le>rs gsa fd ;g volfkk lgh gs\ bldk ;g vfkz fcydqy ughaaa gs fd vki viuh iruh dks ijs /kdsy nsa vksj fdlh vu; ds ihns yx tk,aa laca/k dk vfkz D;k gs\ fu p; gh] bldk vfkz gs fdlh ds lkfk,dy; gksdj jguka ijarq vkidh viuh iruh ds lkfk kkjhfjd?kfu Brk ds vykok Hkh D;k dksbz?kfu Brk gs\,d kjhj ds vykok D;k vki mls vu;fkk Hkh tkurs&le>rs gsa\ D;k og vkidks tkurh&le>rh gs\ D;k vki nksuksa gh vius&vius [kksy esa can ughaaa gsa\ nksuksa esa ls gj,d D;k vius gh fgrkas] vkdka{kkvksa vksj vko ;drkvksa dh ryk k esa ughaaa jgrk] D;k gj,d nwljs ls rq Vhdj.k rfkk vkffkzd ;k euksoskkfud lqj{kk dh pkg esa ughaaa jgrk\,slk laca/k dksbz laca/k ughaa gs&&;g rks euksoskkfud] kkjhfjd vksj vkffkzd vko ;drkvksa ds fy, ikjlifjd :i ls,d Nr ds uhps jgus dk flyflyk ek= gs&&vksj bldk Li V fn[krk ifj.kke gs }a}] nq[k] fnnzkuos k.k] LokfeRoHkko o mlls tqm+k Hk;] bz ;kz vkfn&vkfna vr% vknr cuk gqvk fookg vksj mlesa fo k;&lq[k dk vknh gks tkus dh volfkk fookg dks fojl djus okyk dkjd gs] D;kasfd vknr esa izse ughaa jg tkrka vknh gks tkuk izse ugha gsa izse rks dqn,slh volfkk gs tks vkg~yknizn] jpukred vksj fur uwru gsa CHAPTER SIX v/;k; N% Passion mrdvrk -1- &1&