12 STEPS AND 12 TRADITIONS NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS * REVIEW MATERIAL * COPY FOR: North Atlanta Area Service Committee

Transcription

1 12 STEPS AND 12 TRADITIONS NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS * REVIEW MATERIAL * COPY FOR: Noth Atlanta Aea Sevice Committee

2 STEP ONE- "We admitted. we wee poweless ove ou addiction--that ou lives had become unmanage a bl e'. It makes little diffeence how o when we ealized that dugs had become a poblem fo us. What is impotant is that we felt so miseable we knew we couldn't go any futhe without help. We needed some elief - now. Suende did not come swiftly o easily fo most of us. Ou pide, ego and dishonesty blocked ou effots to come to tems wi th ou complete failue to contol ou using. The bottom line is we CQuld not stop using. Powelessness indicates an absolute incapacity to conto:'. events in ou l ives, --to pevent o pedict thei outcome. Leaning that help was available and that we.could once again live with some semblance of sanity was geat news to us. We wee t ied of using dugs and of the pain they bought us. Dugs had stopped woking the way we wanted them to. It was easie to quit than to ~ un out of dugs' We wee foced to clean up at diffeent times by lack of money, fea and jails. But some of us saw tempoay peiods of abstinence as evidence of ou ability to contol dugs. We told ouselves that we could stop if we wanted toi yet we denied the times we wanted to I stop and couldn't. Powelessness means using against ou will. The admission of powelessness is cental to ecovey. Ou addict ion had been pointed out to us numeous times by othes, but we denied that. dugs wee the poblem. Clealy, we wee unwill ing to change old habits. It was much easie to justify and ationalize how life had dealt us a bad hand.

3 :';'l'ep ONE/b,""; 2 Often, we felt othes caused ' us to expeience hut and upset, We chose to blame them athe than look within ouselves. We ealize today, that we alone ae esponsible fo ou misey. Sometimes we have the idea that we might as well have just one moe dug to see if we can handle it. We need to emembe we neve could handle dugs. Must we hit ock bottom to change ou lives fo the bette? We can only stop the pogession of ou addiction by not using dugs. We stay clean by going to meetings and developing an attitude of willingness to ty the 12 Steps of Nacotics Anonymous. Unless we ae tuly tied of living the way we wee, thee is little chance of ecovey. We must believe above all else that thee is hope if we stay clean and sobe. Respectfully submitted by the paticipants of the Nothen Califonia ~ egional Liteatue Confeence, Apil 22, 1983 :~an Fancisco, CA,

4 "t Daft. 3/ 16-3/19/83 Came to believe that It powe geate than ouselves could estoe us to sanity... '. :., Some of us upon joining this fellowship had little difficulty with the fist step. Although not compehending it fully, we knew we wee addicts and out of contol. But the second step seemed insumountable. Some of us had tuned ou backs to ou highe powe while othes of us thought ou highe powe had tuned its back to us. Othes of us vigoously denied that a powe geate than ouselves eve existed. In coming to gips with,this step, we found we would have to change some of ou jeepest and stongest belie{s. This at fist seamed an impossible task. zoing back to the fist step and compehending ou powelessness ove ou addiction seemed to help. I This allowed us to let down ou defenses little and take a look at what this step is about. Many of us have been acquainted at some time in ou lives with a,'ghe Powe o Ceato. But because of feelings of guilt o fea assoc.ated with ou actions, chose to ignoe o foget entiely any belief in. '., f this Powe. Only when ou actions and feelings in ecovey began to '. ause us moe pain than we could cope with on ou own, wee we willing to I ecognize and ask fo assistance fom that pat of' ou lives we left behind. Still othes came to N.A. wi th a p,econcieved idea of a punishing o evengeful God that.contolled ou lives though ewad and punishment. _ne of the most difficult tasks was to change that conception to one of Powe which was loving and fogiving, one which only wanted the best ' life fo us. This became easie as we t alked with othes who had

5 J/19/~j expeienced the m.. ny benefits fom successful.. ccept,ance of the Second ~ tep.. nd who h.. d.. chieved.. conscious cont.. ct ~ith.. Highe Powe with..ny use. We can't tell you in simple wods how we came to believe. Fo e.. ch 'f us it's been diffeent. Fo some it w.. s.... m.. gic moment of ealization, ofound and even mystic.. l. Most of us built.. found.. tion of belief in ~ highe powe.. little bit at a time., Fo many of Us this belief w.. s long in coming because of ou lost ability to h.. ve faith in anyone 'o anything othe than ouselves. ;hough pes~veance Only and h~d wok and.continued involvement with othe f lean addicts did we achieve the willingness to believe.;han ouselves. in a Powe geate Being as bonest, openminded, and willing as we can be with ouselves is indispensible in woking this o any of the 12 steps. It takes honesty admit that we ae not the geatest powe thee is and to admit that we eed to be estoed to sanity. It takes openmindediess to conside what I powes ae geate than ouselves which we can tust and have faith in. t takes willingness to ty to wok this step. A willingness to 'believe I that thee is some powe than can estoe 'us' to sanity is all that is sked of us by this step.,, Coming to believe does not necessaily me.. n ou intention in coming ' hee was to develop o enich ou sense of belief in anything. Most of s being extemely self-willed had no poblem aguing that what we knew <f. ~ ''\,':'.':'' _,:'."1'0 ' o be tue was exactly as it w.. s. Fo those of us who expeienced ou _~n powe as ultimate in detemining ou 'diection in life, the acceptnee of a powe geate than ouselves became moe of a challenge. B, "acting.. s if" and accepting that othes had the ight to believe as did somehow woked to ceate enough space fo each of us individually Fo

6 Page J/Step 2 3/ 19/83 o gain the willingness and humility to accept it. Eventually all of s ealized, usually at the cost of bitte pain, the need to move fom >u position at the cente of the univese and into a sense of joining with othes in the fellowship. The Powe can \e the goup itself o it can follow a eligious.adition. The only thing we want to emphasize is that you should feel comfotable with you Highe Powe and be able to make the statement ;hat you Highe Powe caes about you. If you can accept the fact that a lage numbe of addicts like youself have found a way, in the pogam,f Nacotics Anonymous, to ~ive clean, then you only have to believe what ou see in ode to expeience Step 2. N.A. has many membes. This colective Spiitual Powe is cetainly ~eate than that of any individual membe. What is impossible fo one lone if often light wok fo the many, because the many ae a geate \ "dea of a powe geate than youself. Just look aound with an open.. ind and you will eee a positive powe all aound N.A. You can call it loye, o hamony o peace, o cleanness o good. o you can call it God. t doesn't matte and by looking and listening as openly as you can, you, ind that N.A. has the powe to help addicts. Pick a powe, any powe. nd suppotive. of the fellowship. We suggest one thats loving, fogiving "~y of us stated by using the goup at each meeting Agnostics, athiests, believes, and the devoutly eligious ae all bject to the illness of addiction. We all could see ouselves somewhee within this ange when we fis t get to N.A., and ou membeship till includes pesons who fall within all of these categoies. Nacotics onymous does not demand any speci fic belief o faith fom any of its ~ embes and neithe does this step. It is a suggestion. It is a.pinciple I"'hat has made ou ecovey possible. If an individual has a desie to. Lh :'l.: l ~ I, '

7 Page 4/Step 2 )/19/8) stop using, then we suggest these steps as a way to ecove that has,oved it has woked in ou own expeience and lives. Nacotics nonymous is not a eligious pogam, nowhee does it say that we must oelieve in God o in any paticula philosophy o dogma. Faith il on. of thoee things that offe us feede.. It «1"S ue the oouage "to 'take ehal1qu and live a lite that haa ne... meaning and oppotuni tie, Fea 18 the laok o!!ai tho I. baj.ief in a II1p Po... gives US the stength and oouaga to appoaeh the unkno~ oonfonting ua., Fai th 18 not an easy 1I'0d to defina",but 1t'e D01I'!Cllll ou expeience that thoee of us,'1i'ho have it seem to funotion bette than... could 1I'hill wsil:g dugs, o, jua\ enst1nc' 11'1 thout thell. '!he step 8&Ys 1I'e Bame, to be live, not tliat 1t'e have to bel~ve, and that's when ou feedom began. ia gadually begin to find some od. in the univese &n4, aocept thet ".DIU po1l'.~' h. supplying us 11'1 th a oonsci.".. 11'8 had neve 118tened to befoe. We' came,to meetingl end lay that... e 1I'ee ot&y11l& allu.. W~ y~ echvia«the powe to onecsi the eompulsion to use. It oetainly 1I'ac't oom1:a&!oll WI, individually. Kany of, us have coma to belie... that the foce. of lu. knoy what ou eal needs ae IIlld 1I'1ll taka oae of UI 1I'hen undistubed by sal! 11'111. We have begun moe and moe to in ho,,' Iluoh a Highe Pon eally haa to offe. Cl.an living 18 only the beginn1llg o! a ney Ute. LUe 1I'1thout fea U & gift 11'8 eoeive to the pice of aoeeptanci.

8 Page 5/Step 2 --._ liany of us aived ~e with a nnae of being e%1;em~,. ~ beaten by the lite we had been living. W. wee hopeleas and 1:11 desjai until we eould see that many of ou attitude. and old ways of t b1nld ng had been the.ouoe ct ou 'lzzlhepp1dau. lie had aubu1bed to.0 long to the.u.. and deeeptiona neces.ey to ke.p tos getting busted that t.w ot ui knew tha aesnhlg ot tuth o aanit,., and... ot us still &l"81l't..,.=e. Ou waped sense ot espoma1bil1ty toa h1e=... hy lot thieves and aut thoat deals la!t. lui laloting that the only way to win was waa at the expense ot ~the. We telt it neoessay to beet,,1>.8 anothe o uyou out ot whateve we Gould 1:11 oh t. suv.1.,... h a.eel way ou inaan1ty bec... e ou eason to 8UVival. Fo many of us, this insanity of isolation occued well befoe we eve took ou fi~t fix, pill, dink o join~. We always felt cut off and isolated. ~e saw ouselves as diffeent fom othes. Othe people I called us weid o cazy. When we st~ted using, we seemed to have some. elief fom the pain we felt in ou loneliness. But as ou disease pogesses, ou isolation simply got wose and getting loaded no longe stopped the pain. Seeing ou disease in these tems gives the oppotuni ty to conside "estoa tion to sani ty" as the expeience of coming " "-.... home. We ejoin ou tellows though the fellowship of Nacotics Anonymous We find the willingness to give up ou cheished and painful isolation. We allow ouselves to a pat of" athe than -apat fom-. Still othes of us have seen ou insanity in tems of denial. don't know of any addicts who have come to Nacotics Anonymous with the beli"! "that a powe geate.than themselves could estoe them to sanity. Denial is one of the most outstanding symptoms of ou disease. We Most of us come to this fellowship denying that we have had a poblem with dugs,

9 age 6/Step 2 denying that we ae addicts, denying that addiction is a disease. ~ave denied that we needed help. We have denied the existence of God. We. ave denied that we wee not sane. In fact, many of us have lived ou whole lives while we wee using as if we wee the only sane people in a old gone mad. Some of us have even held this attitude While incaceated in psychiatic wads and sanitaiums. We The point is that ou expeience emonstates that this step can be woked by anyone no matte what you Tesent condition. We didn't take this step fully in one day. We have L, woked this step and applied it to ou lives to the best of ou ability nd ove time ou belief that a powe geate than ouselves could estoe ~ to sanity has gown. ". When all is aaid and done, insanity 1~. using dugl oompuls1vely bega~e of the mental oblelsion... have had, and, sanity il f~edom fom this obsassio~. We eaa ~ot be estoed to lan~ty and oontinue to use. Same of u. have consideed ou~ t selves mentally ill in the palt o have been diagnosed as sueh by psyehiatiatl and othe publi. health pofel.1aralb. Naootios An01lymoUS haa no opinion on the iisaue of whethe OJ" not ad4iot1cm 11 a mental 111m.as. Sanity hee 40el not n.e.saai]y mean fee40m fo. being neuot1e, although it 1a possible to u, the 12 Steps to solve this o any othe poble. f~ O~ ateps ae Ipiitual p1n1c1plel that conatitute a way.~ lif

10 F' L..L:lltJe seems 'to bf: :c~s -. :lny de,1n.~... ns of san:l. ~ 1nsa.n1ty, as thee ae indiv1dual membes of this pogam~ Eaoh of us, aa a elult of ou own ezpei.noe, haa a 41fte1ng 14ea Gf what 'thele wodl.eu. We baft found, howeve, that... 0&11 choos. to lee I ani ty alfeed_ f.. the oble.sign t~ u Ict uatdc juat. fo toda7 is.. de poss1bl. by thil tee'... til san1v oomel fom becoii1us will1jlb to bel1ve that.ome powe. ghate than ouselvel exiatl an4 lad.,"duee th1. ohange in 118. We have aleady admitted thai alou we ae unable to exe" th1l ponl' ove.ou ad4iet1oa,!hu, thi8 il the oolllpell1ng ea.on we offe the ne.eame who aakl why he o Ihe Ihauld be will1dc tc. belive in a Highe PQn~ &Ad have faith and aan1't7, ~!he 12 Steps an: Ii... B.:t.uabes beoaule in thil lequence the p"eee41n& step fun1~he. the ~.'Jltta1 bale that 11 nee_llay tg oont1nue the pogession thoush wh1eh we and ou 11vel ae made whole aa4 l1e". W. theefoe au&pst 90'1'lc1q.:...,.".; them in the ode in whioh they ~ee witten, HavinS woked the f1at two to the belt of ou pesent ability, we ae.. eadj fo Step!lu"ee. "." ", :...

11 L l ' 0<, ',ff STEP THREE-tlMade a decision to tun ou will and ou lives ove to the cae of God as we undestood Him". Step Thee offes no compomise, esevation o del~y..'aftl 3/29/B3 calls fo a decision hee and now. With pomptness and detemination, we.give up ou contol and suende ou lives to that "Powe" which alone can povide us with the daily stength to stay clean and sobe. To make a decision is to stat a couse of action. It Making a decision may take some time but the action that follows takes longe. We do not take this ste~ will and ou lives ove to the cae of God. to do that and stat a couse of ~ction.. actually suendeing to ou Highe Powe Y~ny easily. We ae not capable of tuning ou But we can make a decision that will culminate in ou of us have had geat difficulty 'making any kind of decisions in ou lives. This is a vey human tait. Most people hate to make decisions. We expeience collosal, anxiety wheneve choices confont us, even tivial choices like what to wea when we wake up in the moning. Sticking to the decisions we make fo many of us is even f hade. but that is what a decision implies. c ommi tmen t. us. just as much what might happen if we don't. So we do nothing. Paa ' The commitment of making a decision inspies fea fo many of We have feaed what will happen if we do something and feaed lyzed by ou feas, we make no decisionsl away fom all commitments. we take no action; we shy Majo decisions often equie the faith that no matte which choice we make, eveything will be o.k., that the wold will not come to an end. v~e hope what we have to say about ou own exp:ience with the Thid Step will help you to acquie the willingness you need to make this cucial decision fo youself.

12 Step 'l'h e l.../~ a g e 2 ~un The pain of living with the decisions that many of us have made in ou fist yea when ou minds wee still fogged and ou moods vaied fom moment to moment has pompted us to pass on ~: : is expeience so that othes might benefit. We often hea at meetings the suggestion to newcomes to not make any majo decisions in the fist yea of ecovey. Most addicts need to make thei mistakes and l ean thei own lessons fom these expeiences, and so disegad this suggestion entiely. "Su ende means not having to fight anymoe". Suende is one of the undelying pinciples of the fist thee steps. Fo most \ people it bings up a whole host of negative images I defeat, 108s, failue. Yet we say in Nacotics Anonymous that t o suende i 1Q win. How can this be? One answe to -that question is that ou expeience has demonstat ed tha t when we give up ou ~.ome thinking and behavio, we gain a way of livi ng in the wold that povides us with much happiness and peace wi thin., Fo most of us this new way. of life is unlike any kind of existence we have eve known. We win when we suende because what f we give up is ou attempts to contol ou addiction, ou delus ion that we can manage ou lives alone, and ou insanity. We eceive the powe. stength and guidance that make it possible fo us to stay away fom that fist fix, pill, dink o joint and fo us to lead eeponsibl: and poductive lives. When we suende to the pogam ou ecovey begins. Geat vaiation exists among us egading how much we have suffeed duing ou using and in ou ecovey, ~efoe Him. we became wil ling to ou will and ou lives ove to the cae of God ~ ~ undestood This pocess of becoming honest enough to admit to ousel ves the need to suende is painful. As individuals, ou pide and denial

13 . have kept us dishonest and unable to see what othes could clealy see. We need to suende ou way of doing things to make oom fo a bette way. Step Thee identifies ou spiitual illness and helps us see clealy that any life un on self-will can only suffe. show" was a favoite pastime. disappointment.. "if only", "maybe"', and nnext time" wee common excuses. lives of othes. "Running the People., places and things wee a constant We couldn't un ou own lives, though we attempted to un the As addicts we want\to contol othe people. We know nothing of inteac~ion among equals. Ou unhappiness is so collossal that it fills ou hoizons. We only know that we ae huting and that we know no way' to stop that.. pain. And so we tun to dugs. In time, dugs stop woking and we ae addicted and in pain. In this way we feel we ae justified in doing anything at all to m,ake" us feel bette. The sight of othe people's happ~ness only makes us bitte. Wi th this ationalization we feel we ae enti tl'ed to anything we want. We ~ave no sense of popotion. The smallest thing will cause f... '.'. us to dop a peson fom ou lives. The function of othe people is to do exactly as we wish. People exist only to meet ou needs. Thei... job is to satisfy all ou needs immediately. We ae angy bats. We want it all and we want it now. Denial is pat of this. We do not elate to the things we did that we wish we hadn't done. We have selective vision that says we wee pefectly justified in doing whateve we did. But we eally didn't do it anyway. As addicts we lived a code that saidl Mit didn't happen". But if it happened, we didn't do it. An~.anyway "it's not ou fault".

14 Step Thee/Page 4. l I i ~ ~,I " When "ou way" was no longe woking, we often sought solutions outside ouselves, not knowing we alone wee the souce of ou discomfots. We found new connections, changes of sceney, quick cash and othe schemes to feed ou addiction. We used eveyone aound us fo what they had to offe. Eventually, this self-centeedness left us with an insatiable void that, no dug could fill. We wee at the cossoads, not knowing which way to go. We had to make a decision... Willi'ngness is all that is needed to stat woking on Step Thee. If necessay one can pay fo this willingness. w~hen fist tying to make a decision to tun\ove ou will we need only look back at ou destuctive past and the willingness should come easily. ~~ny of us found it difficult to be willing at all. fo instance we wouldn' t solve ou poblems.' - But when we asked ouselves whethe we wee willing to be willing, it was easle to accept that thee was a solution to ou poblems. We gadually became eceptive to the idea of willingness. The same applies fo many of us in the aea of tun ing ou lives ove to a Highe Powe~ If we act pomptly in acceptance of the God of ou undestanding. f the willingness to act on Step Thee soon comes. Tuning ou will ove to this Highe Powe ceates the space fo feeling that seenity we all stive to attain. This means no moe than going along with what is happening. God',s will is whateve happens. We can eithe go along with this o fight it. If we go along with it we ae finding ou place in the ode of things. This is a new expeience fo addicts. We wee always out of place, doing inappopiate things. and so foth. When we ae willing we open ouselves to the possibility of change.

15 - "Tuning it ove" simply means "letting go" of ou old ideas and allowing ou Highe Powe to take chage. By using this simple self-help guide, we often find new ways to deal with poclems that wee peviously had to solve. In this way we gain a new found feedom by which we can shae ou budens with this Powe-we've leaned to tust. This eliance continues to gow if we place faith in ou Highe Powe. We s.tep aside, we give- up attempts at contol, we let a Highe Powe shape ou eality -- these ae some of the ways we can II tun it ove". Why do we -tun ou self and life as a whole ove to anything? ~ Why do we tun it ove?~ ou lives without help. happiness and ha~ony. Because we have found that we cannot manage We have been unable to live whole in health, This has been tue fo us whethe ou insides o ou outsides 'we~ the moe UDmanageable. We eceive the stength, powe and guidance we need by making the decision to allow a powe geate than ouselves to cae fo us. Tuning something ove ~lso means getting id of it. When we want to u~e, we tun ou desie ove. to ou Highe Powe. the goup. meeting, take a walk, pay, etc. L o the" univese. Then we do the next thing I use the phone, go to a When we want to do things ou way and it's not woking. we can We continue to tun it ove again and again. As long as we'e tuning it ove, we can' handle ou poblem. When we stop. the poblem comes back again. This seems unfai. But, that's what people do - they stuggle with thei poblems. We lean to live like that. also tun this ove to ou Highe Powe, and go on to the next thing. Tuning it ove libeates us fom ou obsessive concen with ouselves and eleases us fom the buden of managing ou own lives alone. If we say to ouselves. "Please help me, I am willing to be helped," then this is a way of woking the Thid Step. Although we may not

16 Step Thee/Page 6...s ~.I- i-.,.:.. ~ l have used these paticula wods, it was the expession of this 1dea to ou own individual conception of a Highe Powe.,._.. maoe it possible fo us to develop a woking elationship with that High~~ has evolutionized ou lives. Step Thee allows us to gow in ou undestanding of the spiitual. nowe that Ou ability to use Step Thee is. not hindeed by an incomplete o vague sense of a Highe Powe. good enough. Ou undestanding ight now is As it changes and gows, we develop oom and oppotunity to change ou way of putting it to use in ou lives. It would be easy fo many of us to avoid altogethe any futhu.\ mention of God" Highe Powe o any spii tuali ty whatsoeve. But I t? do this would flagantly lack honesty, fo without the help of an undestanding God, all willingless fo futue gowth would vitually disappea... Adqicts who fail to incopoate a belief in a Powe geate than self often etun to active addiction. "St'inking thinking" will cause continued despai if we ely' only on self-will. Honest and sincee ' J attempts in_active pusuit of a Highe Powe will usually clea ou confusion ove time. Thee ae as many Highe Powes as thee ae addicts in ecovey. and thee ae as many pogams. pogam and pobably only one Highe Powe. pogam in ou own way. ou Highe Powe. Of couse, thee is only one N.A. But we all undestand the We also have the same libety in appoaching But ultimately we need to live a spiitual pogam of ecovey. That's what keeps us clean and sobe. Each of us must live his o he own spiitual pogam. When we'come to the pogam we want five yeas ecovey ove night. We want instant success. We ae addicts and that is ou way. We have to wok out a pogam that woks fo us. Many of us tied to live someone else's pogam with someone else's Highe Powe. This

17 Step Thee/Page I did not wok. develop any seenity this way. Pehaps we did not get loaded. but we could not We each need to wok out a elationship with ou own conception of a Highe Powe. is impotant I The elationship the conception is not. We can have a elationship with a peson and not undestand them. We undestand God to the best of ou ability and tust that all will come out all ight. We do ou pat. the Highe Powe does the est.' Many of us feel that Step Thee is the key that opens ou heats and minds to let this Highe Powe ente. and just as we wok Steps One and Two on a daily basis. so,we do Step Thee. In this way. we '\ ae Slowly, fulfilling a ~spiitual need though tust and faith. be it blind o not, in something othe than ouselves. spiit~al that next fix. ~ill~ It is though this fulfillment that a foundation o defense baie against o dink is built. Some of us could not wok this step until we had tied paye and meditation as descibed in ~tep 11. We'payed and we felt some ' elief. We meditated and gew calme and moe objective towad ou I woldly expeience. Ou ups and downs became less c~amitous. We wanted! to use. payed about it. and the obsession was lifted fo a ~, '~[ while. We'wee uncomfotable in a situation and said the Seenity Paye and wee able to get though. fom this expeience. As addicts ou condition was paamount. Ou undestanding of God comes If we didn't feel ight, we took something. We thought people knew we wee loaded. Selfcenteedness was ou biggest poblem. Ou egos had gown way out of popotion. We wee the cente aound which the wold evolved. This, I is the measue of how childish we had become in ou addiction. \ : When we stopped using dugs. this childish viewpoint did not disappea. But since we wee dug-fee. we could see that we had a poblem and that thee was a solution. Moving out of the cente of

18 I l Step Thee/Page 8 the univese took the pessue off us. Belief in a Highe Powe and a decision to tun ou will and ou lives ove to the Highe Powe enabled us to move out of this pessue cooke. ~e wee no longe "on". We could move off the stage and get on with ou lives. This didn't happen all at once. It was a gadual pocess. Slowly we moved out of the spotlight. Since.we wee no longe on stage we had time to live. We did not have to act ou dama, we had time and enegy fo eal life. We found something to eplace ou obsession with dugs. Woking the Thid Step makes it possible to wok the emaining.\. steps. Thooughness hee will affect ou whole pogam. The extent to which we decide to tun ou will and ou lives ove to the cae of Goq, will detemine ou willin'gness and ability to wok the othe steps. If we deciae we want to tun ou lives ove to a Highe Powe we can then appoach Step Fou with the assuance that we will be guided though it. Submitted by, Nothen Califonia Regional & Aea Liteatue Subcommittees San Fancisco, CA. ~. 'lll 1;

19 Fis -- dft: 4/5/~1 STEP FOUR- "Made a seaching and fealess moal inventoy of ouselves": The Fouth Step asks us to make an inventoy. is just that and not the inventoy to end all inventoies. In this Step we make a vigoous ~nd coveing what ou tue liabilities ae. An inventoy painstaking effot at dis We must not be appehensive when we begin this step as it will clealy elieve the yeas of pent up guilt many addicts expeience. We do not have to be definitive. Too often we appoach this step as if we ae not good enough o cleve enough to take an inventoy. We pepae ouselves fo failue. We have become willing to wok the fist thee stepsj now w~ have faith in a Highe Powe and this is enough to get us though this step. Ou pesent faith can cast out the fea we lived with fo so long and give ~,' ': us the couage to exploe thooughly the pattens of ou behavio. step applies to what we did afte we stopped using as well as what we did in ou active addiction. If we ae as honest as we can be. many of ou pevious feas will be cast aside. Ou liabilities ae tested if we don't put faith and tust in ou Highe Powe. With His help. we ae guided though that maze of confusion that confonts many of us at fist. It is impotant to wok the fist thee steps to establish a basic undestanding of the significance of shedding the "weckage of ou past". Ou sponso should be consulted to pepae us to wok ou Fouth Step. Sponsos o a fiend whom you tust in the Fellowship can shae thei expeience with you as you each this all impotant phase of ~. you ecovey. We often find similaity with each othe as we put to pape those things that caused us much gief in ou lives. This

20 .. Step Fou/Page 2 Pehaps we ae still too feaful to take a thoough invento~,.. We can take an inventoy of ou feas o we can make a smalle inventoy of a limited extent. When we shae this step with anothe peson we can see that a lage and bave inventoy is possible fo us. we have no expeience of fealessness, we need to lean that thee is no eal dange fo us in this step. We hea ove and ove about the impotance of the Fouth Step. Most of us in the beginning had a had time undestanding how one step could be that much diffeent than any of the othes. If Thee's no doubt about it, this step caies a lot of weight. Whateve defects of chaacte the est of the wold.may indulge in safely'. we can not. In ou ecovey we began to ealize that ou only eal hope of staying clean 'and sobe' was in maintaining a comfotable state of mind. The time had come to look at how we felt about people, p]a~es and things in ou lives. It was also time to look at ou past, and because we made a decision to live in the ~, we also made a decision to be fealess and thoough when assessing the weckage. When we say we make a 'moal inventoy', what do we mean? To ~any of us this implies that we should accuse ouselves of evey ethical lapse we can emembe. It seems to apply paticulaly to money mattes, to stealing, and to othe illegal activities. These ae the things that make us feel guilty. If we could get id of these things, we think, eveything would be fine with us. If all this wee tue, we would be discussing a geneal confession and not a moal inventoy. A moal inventoy means an inventoy of ou chaacte, ou mind, o if you like, ou will. We have ationalized evey possible fom of deviant behavio. Ou poblem is not the deviancy but the ationalization. Much of this behavio is unconscious. We go on doing

21 - "" l Step Fou/Page 3 what we have always done. We need to bing ou pp++c' ~ behavio out into the open so that we can examine them. into touble. They h."lve led us only Still, we will not give them up yet. We neea to look at ouselves and ou behavio to see what unpoductive pattens we want to abandon. We have found that fea o fustation played a big ole undeneath ou moal defects likel self-pity, esentments, intoleance, citicism, ange o jealousy. If we can cub ou emotional 'olle coaste' and ide on a moe even keel, the peaks and valleys will become less exteme. Ou expeience will be moe like 'sailing on a calm day' with an occasional wave to emind 'us whee we ae and whee we have come fom. Human beings ae social animals. In, ou active addiction we wee both isolated and isolative. We had to be loaded no matte what the consequences to ouselves o othes. matteed. The way we felt was all that In othe wods, we wee entiely wapped up in ouselves. If we ae to live comfotably dug-fee, we need to lean to live as human beings in societyi acting. we need to change ou way of thinking and What ae some of the old pattezns 'that did not wok fo us? Fist was esentment o ;JI/~~,.,.). list. Eveything annoyed us. ~e past and we had no way of dealing with ou ange. We kept ou own mental.gudge wee mad about what happened in the We egetted the cleve things we had not said. We planned convesations that neve took place. We wee obsessed with the past and the futue. no enegy to devote to the pesent moment. We had Thee was no eal satisfaction fo us in any of this. Ou esentments caused us discomfot and so we fomed still moe esentments. None of this was ou fault.

22 ',J,.p.p l"ou!page 4 Othe people wee doing these ~hings to us. As long as it was the ' fault of othe people, it was happening "out thee". We wee not esponsible fo what was happening and we could do nothl~g about it. We needed to wite about these esentments in ode to see what pat we had played in foming them. We had tuned ou lives ove to othe people. They wee contolling us. We need to gain contol of ou own lives and we can do this by witing about ou esentments. Dishonesty is anothe fom of self-centeedness. It allows us to contol situations to suit ou equiements. Ou esentments focused on ou ange at othes. What we want is so impotant to us that othe people do not matte. With dishonesty again we ae manifesting childish behavio. Ou desies ae moe impotant than someone else's, We neve consideed expessing ou desies openly and woking fo them. We wee unable to set goals and each them. Eveything had to happen ight away. And dishonesty is an easy way to do this. We did not need to accomplush anything I we meely said we had done it. We L L s,' \~ t need to wite about this so we can see exactly how it is woking against us. Pity means sympathetic soow o compassion. When we indulge in' self-pity we ae taking the sympathy and undestanding that we owe to othes and applying it to ouselves. This is just one example of the way we manipulated things fo ou "benefit". Self-pity ceates a descending spial on which we get to feel so bad, we have no choice but to get loaded. We must find a way out of this situation. When we see the havoc we weak doing things ou way, a Fouth Step begins to look moe desieable. We can list the many ways each of us has been intoleant; how we efused to allow othes the pivilege of voicing an opinion and the fequent episodes of indiffeence we expessed ove "always being ight". We wee unnecessaily citical of fiends, yet when constuct-

23 ,. L AT ;~ Step Fou/Page 5 ive citicism was diected towads us--we wee less than eceptive. We pobably eacted with hostility. Evey suggestion was met with iitation. Obviously, "they ae insulting me". "I don't have to listen to this"! Most of the time, we ~nly anyway.,..' listened to ouselves This is anothe example of self-centeed behavio. Ange is an aea we did not handle matuely. Someone would accidentally do something like bump us in a cowd, step on ou feet on a busy bus, chew ou last piece of gum, take "ou" paking space. etc. We wee displeased yes, but to eact 'with age' exemplified many an addict. Unealistic expectations esulted in fuious displays of childish behavio. We wee' full of contempt fo the most mino of offenses. All of us get depessed at times, but addicts can ill-affod to feel soy fo themselves. We have found positive altenatives to dwelling on "pesonal poblems". When we didn't get "what we wanted when we wanted it", chose to whine to eveyone about ou tagedy. On the othe hand. vey little sympathy would be affoded to one who had a 'eal' eason to be upset iel ~eath in the family, poo o failing health, sevee loss etc. These ae only examples of the things we need to conside fo ou inventoy. We need to examine ouselves in detail and caefully so that we can change those things that did not wok fo us. We ae tying to build a happy life in ecovey. Some of us have tied to make do with a simple self-examination. We have even tied to talk ou poblems out with anothe Peson. We have tied many ways to avoid a witten inventoy. Some of these methods have bought tempoay elief fom ou moe pessing poblems. The witten inventoy suggested hee is the only means we have found

24 ' l' '1; "») '... Step Fou/Page 6 to assue eal self-honesty. Witing things down gives them a eality they can gain in no othe way. we pinned it down. it was. When we wote ou inventoy We could not decide it was diffeent fom what It was definite and clea. These ae some of the advantages of a witten inventoy. Honesty is a key wod hee. We can't be fealess and thoough without being fist honest with ouselves. Many of us a.bused seveal aeas of ou lives with exteme imbalance. We did nothing in mode-, ation. We'd like to blame many of ou chaacte defects on the fact that we "did this because we wee loaded", o "so and so was supposed to take cae of that". We, all the- while felt ou behavio was justified and easonable. This self-justification causes many of us to make excuses fo not getting stated on this witten inventoy-takin: pocess. This step calls upon us to be seaching and fealess and to look at the many deceptions we used to take dugs. We must be seaching and fealess as if enteing a dak oom with a single candle to guide us with the intention of moving ahead and despite ou esistance in the dakness. We need to be willing to illuminate evey cone of ou dakened minds as it ou life depended upon it, fo in fact it does. It makes no diffeence at this point in ou ecovey how small poblems seem to be o how often we have thought o talked about them. What is impotant is to wite down eveything that comes to mind within the pocess of the Fouth Step without egad to appaent significance. Facts ae all that we eally need to begin to see ou undelying motivations. Many of us wondeed why we had to make a witten inventoy. sponso explained it this way. A

25 . i 'i I',:,,,~.. :\'.v~l Step Fou/Page 7 When I was gowing up, I had no childhood,at all. I was busy being the adult while my paents indulged thei emotions. to contol that situation by not showing any emotion. thei fantasy so I had to face eality at an ealy age. I leaned They lived I had no esouces fom my childhood to cay me though the cisis of becoming an adult. I guess you could say I stayed a child all my life. I used dugs and dank to cove up feelings of inadequacy. child in an adult wold. doing. I felt like a Eveyone else seemed to know what they wee They seemed to know thei pats in the play and I had to make up my pat as I went along. Of couse, I couldn't keep this up day in and day out. I had to use dugs to get away fom this. I had to obliteate my consciousness and get some elaxation. Now, in my ecovey I have to deal with all these poblems. I need to change, gow up and lean to live with eality. The Fouth Step was a majo tool in this pocess. happening. witing inventoies. I had to wite it all down so I could see what was I leaned all the things I'm saying now as a esult of Businesses that don't keep accuate accounts can not make an accuate tax epot. They will be penalized if thei summay of past tansactions isn't pecise. This is nomally ecoded via a witten statement o epot to estimate value. We too, must do a compaative estimate of ou assets and liabilities and accuately appaise ou l,ives. It's eally a housecleaning of moal and chaacte defects. We ae as though as we can be in ecollecting past thoughts, deeds and actions. Once we have tuned ou will and lives ove to the cae of God as we undestand Him, we ae eady fo Step Fou. Some of us have appoached this step with a lot of fea, so do not feel alone.

26 i l Step Fou!Pa6e 8 These feas ae undestandable as ou thinking pocesses have been alteed and we do not know what is tue. We have become expets at ationalizing and analyzing eveything. When we know we no longe want to get loaded and want some comfot in ou new way of living we put ou feas aside and stat witing. On ou list we must avoid any futhu time spent on the wongs othes had done. We focus on ou mistakes and concen ouselves with aeas whee self-centeedness seemed to pevail. We ae not saying othes ween't pat of the blame, it's just not helping us to think ~ too much about them. motives. We must look within and honestly appaise ou This is 'ou' inventoy and if it is to succeed, we need to list 'ou faults', not othes! using; those of othes can not. Ou chaacte defects can lead us to Befoe sitting down to wite we may want to talk to ou sponsos and take ou fist thee steps with them to help us feel at ease. might want to look up the wod 'moal' in the dictionay if we ae unclea as to what it means in this context. pen in hand, we pay that God's will be done, not mine. We Once we ae eady to take We want to be as thoough as possible so do not ty to ush this, Once this pocess has been stated you have unlocked you subconscious and you whole being will be involved. at it as an adventue. Do not be afaid, ty to look Submitted by Nothen Califonia Aea & Regional Liteatue Subcommittees

27 STEP FIVE-tlAdmitted to God, to ouselves and to anothe human being the exact natue of ou wongs", The fist wod of this step is "Admitted". The fist time that wod occus in the Steps is in Step One, "We admitted we wee poweless ove ou addiction". Hee again we ae basically of things that wee not too hot.. asked to admit what all the wold knows -- that we have done plenty But we admit these things in ode to help us in ou ecovey. We admitted to God and to anothe human being the exact natue of ou wongs because it is the only we can continue ou quest in spii~~al active dug use. ecovey as well as pevent When we have made a moal inventoy. what ae we to do with it? We have listed ou esentments, feas, dishoneties and othe poblems. We have bought all this mateial out of the pivate pats of ou lives and put it down on pape. We now know ouselves bette than we have eve known ouselves befoe. We pobably feel both good and bad. We feel good that we have woked Step Fou and we feel bad that thee is so much mateial in ou inventoy. on to Step Five quickly. and we feel alone with that knowledge. It is impotant to move We have gained much knoledge of ouselves When we begin to elate in a ealistic way to othe people, we find that just because they ae looking at us fom the outside, they can gathe all kinds of things about us that we do not tell them. This infomation, of couse, does not elate to specific acts but athe to ou emotions. we speak about someone, fo example. They can see in ou faces how we feel when O they can see that we ae upset although we ae tying to conceal it. We wee not able to

28 , \,',\'f'p I'j'le/Page 2 admit how we wee feeling; we needed to be secetive. Getting things out in the open is pat of ou ecovey. We wee emotionally sick in ou using, and we need to wok on ou emotions in ou ecovey. Opening ouselves to othes is a big step. Shaing ou Fouth Step mateial with anothe human being is a safe place to begin.. If we do not go on with Step Five and eveal ou new data to God and anothe human being it will feste in us. The pocess of self-justification will stat. We will begin to think that it was all ight fo us to do what we did. make us think that as addicts we ought to, be loaded. Ou ationalization will In shot, the pocess of ou ecovey will halt. Ou egos will take ove and ou thinking will be insane. Fouth Step the longe the insanity will go on. The longe we hold on to ou We need to take Step Five as soon as possible afte Step Fou is completed. Natually we wanted to be as complete as possible in ou Fouth Step witing and we attempt to', shae ou findings without esevation. We have spent yeas in building,walls aound ouselves. Dugs. wee only pat of the mateial we used t~ keep people out of ou lives. If we admitted anyone into ou lives, it was stictly on ou tems. All ou elationships wee conditional. We could not tust people. We have yeas of pactice at keeping out. We must make an enomous effot now to let someone in. We stat with just one peson. ~eson When we ae eady to take this step we look. fo that "special" esevation. with whom we ae willing to shae ou expeience without This peson need not be ou sponso unless we felt this to be best. We can choose a peson who doesn't shae in ou Fellowship. We can select a peson in whom we tust implicitly;

29 someone we could comfotably shae all these aeas of ou lives we chose to keep secet. We should choose a peson to whom the elease of such infomation would not pove hamful. OTtentimes membes of ou immediate family would suffe needlessly, so we should execise some caution hee. We chose caefully to pesent ou expeiences to someone whom we felt could be objective and non-judgemental in etun. This peson had to be someone we tusted completely. As addicts we have found it difficult to tust anyone, including ouselves. We now had the oppotunity to develop a tusting attitude which had always been missing fom ou lives. Thee ae cicumstances in which we cannot shae eveything with one peson because they will not be able to undestand ou emotions and accept us aftewad. We shae as much as we can with the peson we have chosen and look fo someone with whom to shae what we have left out. This is a ae and unusual situation. Most often we can shae ou entie Fouth Step with one peson. The ewad is as enomous as the isk. At last, someone ~ows all about us. We have told all we have to say fo the pesent to one peson. In etun, we need thei acceptance. Now that we ae eady to shae, bing things to the suface with all the honesty that we ~can possibly."mubte, commence. elinqui S:hing all pide, ego and fea. It's had to be humble, fealess and honest with ouselves let alone with anothe peson, but if we elease ego and fea ou job's much easie. We need to elinquish ou pide and efain fom any thing shot of complete and total honesty. Many of us hang on to ou inventoies. We often don t let go of the items we l isted and need to emembe them when we vebalize ou witten input with ou tusted t fiend I. "Hanging on" only make s

30 .. Step Five/Page 4 us uncomfotable. We can nomally only do this fo a shot time. When we ae tied of feeling guilty, pehaps we ae then eady to commence Step Five. Taking Step Five means that we become willing to shae ouselves fully with anothe human,being. no one can tell us whethe we have done a good job. We must be willing because If we leave something out of ou inventoy because we ae afaid to tell anothe peson about it, we ae the ones who suffe. not affected by ou omissions. We do ou best in shaing ouselves in this Step. The othe peson is If we ae able to stat with a bief account of "what is going on with us at the pesent, it will help to giye dep~h Fifth Step. -, and pespective to ou Again, we ae nottying'to make excuses fo ouselves. We ae tying to give the peso~ ~e us a human beings. ae talking to a chance to see It is all too' easy to walk in, ead the Fouth Step to someone, and walk out. We ae pepaing ouselves fo the.. futue. We ae tying to beak: out of ou isolation and move into the eal wold. The moe thooughly we pepae ou listene to unde stan~what we have witten the moe we will get out of this Step. We shae ou inventoy with God and with anothe peson. shae means to distibute, appotion o divide. To It is the pocess by which we end ou isolation. We have been alone with ou poblems fo too long. By shaing them" w~th God and anothe peson, we ae dividing by thee and that's"a lot easie to handle than isolation. But we must be willing to elease the poblems we have spent ou lives alone with. Staying clean is the only way we as addicts can begin to functioi with fellow human beings. We emoved ouselves fom contact with any thing highe than ou next fix, but now we can enjoy claity of

31 l ~tcp flve/page 5 thought. New expeiences will pemit us the gadual pivilege of saying at last "we had a spiitual expeience o undestanding", We potect ou sobiety by admi~ting feely ou "weckage of the past". We bing into focus those events that tanspied both in ou using days and since we've been clean and sobe. We can not expect the benefits of this pocess to unfold without doing the footwok. The 'footwok' is the willingness to ovecome the feas of idicule and potential humiliation that we felt would take place. But the ecipient of ou Fifth Step oftentimes expesses no judgement whatsoeve and encouages us to go on with ou stoy. Pehaps they will shae some 'secet' of theis to lighten the self-imposed pessue many of us wee now feeling. We may say a paye togethe to ease the tension. Not holding back is an impotant pat of ou Fifth Step. By holding back we eliminate the flow of honesty equied to satisfactoily complete this Step. We admit to anothe peson the,exact natue of ou wongs because it lessens the ovewhelmillg buden many of us feel upon getting hee. We must fist ecognize ou deficiencies in ode to do a.ything to coect them. We can not wish them o will them away. We must be willing to take advice and accpet diection to expect any change in ou lives. When we ae favoably disposed to asking fo the guidance we soon gain clea ecognition of what and who we ae. Afte elease of these items we've caied fa too long, we can take ouselves to a meeting and shae how good we feel with the weight lifted fom us. We caied this cago t~ the depths of ou active addiction and it makes little sense to dag it any futhu.

32 :;\' ep i";'ve/page 6 Evey Fouth Step is pefect. It is what we have heen able to do up to the pesent. We do not need to accept any ci ticism of it. If the ecipient of ou confidence chooses to say something negative about what we have done I we listen as patientl y as we can. This is no excuse to be supeficial in witing ou inventoy. But the Fouth and Fifth Steps can be woked moe than once. Ou Fifth Step will be pefect, too, i f we shae ouselves as honestly as we can fo the pesent. We found that by shai ng ou deepest secets nothing eath-shatteing happened to us and theeby we gained a way to gow beyond ou i solation and exteme sel f - centeedness. Successful completion of ou Fifth Step allows fo continued gowth in ou pogam and pennits us to expeience a new spii t uality that makes it easie fo us to stay that much futhe fom ou next fix, dink o pill. The Fifth Step i8 a good chance to pactice othe Steps. We ae, of couse, anxious about this Step. We ae not used to being honest with ousel ves about ouselves. Now we ae asked t o be ho.est about ousel ves with anothe peson. This is a good oppotunity to tun ou fea and anxiety ove to ou Highe Powe. We can also talk about this with ou sponso. Of couse, since we ae shaing this Step with God as well as anothe "human being, we need to p ay befoe we wok this Step. Anothe impotant point that we should not ovelook. is that we've satisfactoily completed the pevious Fou Steps to the best of ou abilities. With this basic foundation towads ou ongoing spi itual ecovey pocess, we can look fowad to the elief that compl etion of ou Fifth Step bings. Yeas of pent- up guilt. hostil ity and ange l ift fom us and we expeience 'fogiveness and ' being fogiven' a t last.

33 Respectfull y submitted by Nothen Califonia Aea and Regional Li teatue Subcommi t.tees. Apil 11, 198) San Fancisco, CA.

34 ;; l... Fist Daft: STEP SIX-"Wee entiely eady to have God emove all these defects of chaacte". We all have chaacte defects; we could stand some changes. aeas of ou lives whee Sloth, envy and lust ae just'some of the defects many of us choose to maintain. We have obligations, "yet don't fe~l like doing it", o "someone else will handle it". We can be 4/10/8J envious of one who has moe than we do o is bette at something than we ae. Lust is. an aea whee we as indiviuals must seach fo that fine line between love and lust, desie and obsession. Ou defects oftentimes don't appea to be defects at all. We don't consciously believe we ae self-ighteous, and yet we ae. We don't believe we ae full of pide, yet we defend what's close to us. Being poud of an accomplishment is one thing, but showing contempt to othes because they assaulted this deed is idiculous. citicism. Thee is much suppot in the wold to be negative and disageeable. Afte all, we lean a geat deal fom constuctive But if we do this, we will be left with only a small cicle of fiends. Self-will uns much of ou lives aleady. If we delve in this. negativity, it ~an to us. only bing down those close The modest suppot that we can offe can be an uplifting expeience fo individuals stuggling fo significance. We should stive to help each othe with that occasional nudge of encouagement fom time to time. Addicts need to suound themselves with suppotive and.. positive people. We ae easily influenced by changes in ou lives. It only makes sense that these changes ae headed in the pope diection. It goes to show that affimative action beats

35 i ' ~. ':.. -~ J f Step Six/Page 2 depessing news anytime. All ight. So what? We've witten an inventoy a~d we've shaed it with someone else as well as with God. got a big lift out of the Fifth Step. Some of us We felt lighte than ai. Maybe we couldn't fly yet o walk on wate but soon, if we kept this up... What goes up must come down. wi th a thud. And we came cashing down We felt elieved of ou esentments and fea's. But soon ou feas -came back and we had new esentments. stopped hee we wee vey slightly bette off than befoe. Ou If we awaeness of ousel ve's and ou poblems was heightened and that was a plus. Unless we find some way to id ouse1ves of these,-... poblems ou awaeness will only make us uncomfotable. seenity depends.on finding comfot in abstinence. Ou If we ae abstinent fom dugs and acutely uncomfotable fo long peiods of time, we might as well get loaded. Ou fist suende was to N.A. We became awae that thee was a goup of addicts who had leaned to stay clean and sobe. We decided we wanted what they had and we tied to do what they suggetsed. This bought us some measue of comfot. Ou second suende was to a Highe Powe. Afte some time clean and sobe we began to ealize that we wee not keeping ouselves abstinent. Many of us could not undestand why we wee clean and sobe. It eally didn't make any sense. Bette people,>.. than us, and wose, too, wee loaded. ~ut somehow we ween't loaded. So we suendeed to a Highe Powe and began to ely on that Highe Powe. Again, we began to feel some degee of comfot.

36 Step Six/Page 3 Now we ae asked to suende to the steps. We ae stating to enjoy some feedom in ou new way of '".,. life and we do not know how to handle it. We ae also at a loss in handling success. What ae we to do? If we etun to ou fome isolation and "i,ndependence II we ae little bette off than befoe. We need to continue to wok the steps and gow. This is ou only means of continuing to move towad becoming comfotable in ou ecovey.. Step Six pemits us to believe God ~ emove ou defects of chaacte. It is up to us to be willing to suende ou defects to Him. This is a big step. Many of us felt that we wee ou chaacte defects. We feaed that if we gave them up, thee would be no peson left aftewad. faith. The emedy fo this fea is moe Afte the depths of ou misey had been eached, we decided to tun ou lives and wills ove to a Powe that could help us stay clean. In Step Thee we leaned that the' emphasis on willingness was paamount. We chose to be willing then, and we ae asking again fo the willingness to un ou defects of chaacte ove to God who alone can emove them ~ntiely. Tall ode, yes! But necessay that we at least ~. Many of us found elease fom the obsession to use by asking God fo this elease. Let us conside what we did when we woked Step Thee. decided to tun ou will and lives ove to the cae of a Highe Powe. Wee we hamed in this pocess? Did we lose ou ability to function as human'beings? If we had the faith to wok Step Thee, can we not use some of that faith to ty Step Six? Some of us easoned at this point that if we had woked Step Thee, that we would just pay to be willing to wok Step Six. Whateve it takes, we need to move fowad o else we will dift We

37 Step Six/Page 4 backwad. - We offe evey facet of ou pesonality whee we know defects exist. Anythfng that fails to contibute to ou ovea.ll well-being is consideed. We can't blame ou addiction on these defects of - chaacte but we must acknowledge thei influence that led us to whee we ae today. choice to become addicted. to see ou own chaacte defects. We chose to use dugs, but few made a conscious This influence stems fom ou inability Ou faults manifested themselves in a vaiety of ways. contibuted much to ou sickness.. that little else was consideed o thought about. We We wee so diven by ou impulses Ou innate oveiding flaw is self-centeedness. We wee popelled by ou desies. Ou natual- impulses led us though all the avenues we exploed in active addictidn. The jail~. emege~cy oom~. lou3y hotel~ o l:..oading houses whee many of us tavelled. ~Je thkt this oad to self-destuction would change. failed to believe Uhy should it?.:e wee hell-bent on destoying ouselves and any inkling of selfespect that emained up to now. The obsession to each that ultimate high lay not in dugs as we-peviously thought, but in ou ability to tun this madness ove to a Highe Powe. ~e hold on to ou chaacte defects like teasues. But what have they gained fo us? Only misey and addiction. ~'Je have been ~o busy playing games with ou chaacte defects that we have begun to confuse them with eality. All we know is pla;j'inb games..;e ae afaid to let go of these games. '.';e ae unawae that thee is a peson standing behind the scenes who will enef."e when the cc::anes cease. v:e ae not the games we play. ~~e need faith in a Hi~hc tansition. fowe to cay us though this difficult The change we ae woking on cannot happen all at once. Lut we must be willing to stat the pocess.

38 Step Six/f'age.5 It may t~ke us some time to become willing to wok this step. but o.ce we acquie the willingness, we can move quickly to the ~eventh Step. Step. Six tells us that God can emove ou defects of chaacte, while Step Seven pemits us to have God emove ou shotcomings~ This leaves us 'with a new peace and seenity as estoation of spiitual health begins. Rc:::;pectfully submitted by Aea and Regional Liteatue :.)ubcommittees: Apil 14, 1983 o..jan?ancisco. CA. L '

39 ~ tv STEP SEVEN "Humbly as asked Him to emove ou shotcomings." Spiituality is the foundation of all ou Steps. In Step Seven, we stive to move towad a close, stonge ela~ionship with ou Highe Powe. When we ask God to emove ou shotcomings, we ae asking _ fo feedom; feedom fom fea and guilt and all of the othe hang-ups which limit ou ecovey. We ae asking Him to help us be bette pesons and to help us continue to live the compultion to use. We ask fo help fom ou loving Highe Powe because we cannot do it alone. We tied and failed. "I can't, but we can" is a wondeful message. Humility means, among othe things, a ealistic evaluation, ": of ouselves. We have leaned something of eal~sm in the steps leading up to Step Seven. Admitting we wee poweless ove ou addiction was a majo move into eality. Step Thee taught us still moe about humility. When we ealized that ou lives wee unmanageable and that we could tun them ove to a Highe Powe, we moved close to ou goal of humility o ealism about ouselves. Ou inventoy showed us the many ways we had been acting against ouselves. Step Five, shaing ou inventoy with God and anothe human being, allowed us to see that we wee not alone. Ou chaacte defects ae ous, but they ae not that diffeent fom anyone else's. Step Six is also a move in the ight diectionj we become wi.lling to pat with ou chaacte defects. Now we aeasked to use the humility we have gained up to now in woking this step. Humility is a loaded wod. Most of us do not want to lean about humility. We want to live a life fee of dugs. We may be willing to say that we want to live a spiitual pogam, but humility? Is that pat of the pogam? Most of us do not even know

40 ~ l, Step Seven/Page Two what the wod means. If it has any association fo us it usually connotes being lowly, goveling, meek, o subsevient. Humility is being able to accept things as they ae, and when we cannot change them, seeking God's help in changing the things we can. Humility is obviously a key wod in appoaching Step Seven. Why don't we just ask ou Highe Powe to emove ou defects of chaacte? Why do we have to be humble? Fo one thing, we tied doing it ouselves once and we failed, emembe? We ask ou Highe Powe humlly because we have to concede ou powelessness. In this espect, humility is self-honesty~ Yes,.we failed and it huts to admit defeat, but we must give as much of ou lives as we possibly can ove to ou Highe Powe. If we can tota11~suende, the healing will take place that much faste. Do you best, but emembe you ae human. In this step, we ask God humbly. We ae in need of what only God can supply. We cannot emove ou chaacte defects, and fo ou puposes in this step, chaacte defects and shotcomings ae the same thing. We need to be fee of these shotcomings o we cannot develop spiitually. We ask God fo what we need--the feedom that only God can povide. Pobably the geatest obstacle we face is ouselves. When we humlly ask God to emove ou defects of chaacte, we have to look at Step Six and be willing to let go befoe God can emove them. Letting go of defects is scay because thee is a void and something must fill that void. It is in the fellowship that we lean new behavio. It's hee that we pactice new ways of dealing with difficulties and feas. It seem that pain accompanies this step, so take it easy and emembe God will not put you though moe than you can handle.

41 l ~ l Step Seven/Page Thee In many ways, we ae standing in ou own light. We ae ou chaacte defects, to some extent. They ae ou fiends; they detemine the way we elate to othes. We ae afaid to change. We know ou poblems and ou solutions. They may not wok vey well, but they'e familia. We pefe the familia pain and dissatisfaction to the gowth that could lead us out of ou old pain. We may ationalize ou shotcomings. Ae we not meely human? Is it not only human to be as we ae? Ae we asking moe fom ou fiends than we ae willing to give? We put up with them, can they not put up with us? Of couse, this is not tue. We ae selfish and demanding and intoleant, but these aguments seve ou puposes. Of couse, ou shotcomings ae human failings. We ~ only human. But we must be willing to wok,a spil~1 pogam and move tow&d ou goal of ecovey. We must move fowad o eteat. We cannot stand still. We must change ou attitudes. We must accept ouselves as we ae and ty to develop spiitually. This means we will accept ideals that we cannot meet. We need to ecognize ou human needs and ealize that we wi~l neve finish ou pocess of. spiitual gowth. Only a well-gounded ealistic view of the wold will enable us to do this. That is humility. Why do we ask ou God to emove ou shotcomings? If we tell Him, we'e in contol, and it's been ou expeience that it doesn't wok when we stat telling a Powe geate than ouselves what to do. Though it may seem we ae degading ouselves by these admissions, the tuth is we'e letting go of painful and destuctive obsessions and opening new doos. What this tuns out to be is feedom and that's what we need in ode to change. Thee is something paadoxical in this step; we ae asked to be humble although pide is suely one of ou shotcomings. Humility is the absence of pide. We muste as much humility as we can and become willing to wok this

42 ~ ~~ Step Seven/Page Fou step. We ae embaked on a spiitual path and the econciliation of opposites such as pide and humility is the goal we ae stiving fo. We do ou best hee knowing that God is with us. This step is one that seems "to be necessay evey day. We need the feedom we get fom this step if we tuly desie a change in ou chaacte. It's an inside job and as ou Highe Powe takes ou defects, we humbly ask Him to keep them. Once in a while we panic and gab the wheel and when we do, ou shotcomings ae handed back intact and eady to put us back in the ditch again. Losing faith can be a dange. We may gow impatient with ou gowth and pogess. Old defects seem to'leave us slowly, and we see new ones fa too often. If a shotcoming isn't emoved, it simply means we have moe wok to do. ~ have not-asked God humbly, o we aen't eally willing to let them go. We aen't being punished, it just means we need to wok a little hade on one o moe of the pevious steps. We change slowly, day by day, not all at once and not ~ithout help fom ou Highe Powe and ou~fiends in the fellowship. We will neve be pefect: but we do change~ Humility is something we stive fo, neve fully achieving. Humility is ecognizing that we ae not pefect. Pefection is not one of the abundant taits of the addict. We do the best we can, always emembeing who we ae and whee we came fom. Becoming humble is a gadual chage in attitude. We leaned though sometimes painful expeiences that we could not make it alone. It has to 'do with letting go of ou false pide and selfaggandizement. It is changing fom a life of self-centeedness and self-gatification towad a life of spiitual gowth and pogess. '

43 Step Seven/Page Five We have leaned fom the pevious steps how impotant it is to fealess and thoough. honest and humble in all ou affais. These taits do not cone easy and temendous effot mu~+' be execised if we ae to maintain a daily epieve fom that fist fix, dink. pill, o joint. i e o

44 STEP EIGHT-"Made a list of all pesons we had hamed and became willing to make amends to them all". Steps Eight and Nine clealy intoduce us to the ways we handled ou public elations. Many" of us upon aiving to Nacotics Anonymous had difficulty seeing how we hamed anyone othe than ouselves. This Step helps us to become willing to begin the pocess of ectifying all the people we had hamed both befoe and afte ou active addiction. The peceeding steps have been about us. We've used people fo ou own selfish gain fo a long time in ou addiction, allowing no oom fo spiitual gowth o pogess. We made an inventoy of ouselves and we became willing to pat with these chaacte defects. Many of us use ou witten inventoy as a basis fo the Eighth Step. When we made a seaching and fealess moal inventoy, it.became appaent whee we had done, ham. One of the biggest benefitso!. the pevious steps was in.. seeing and admitting ou faults.- fiow we must admit then1to othes. Many of us wee so esentful when we eached this step that we. wee at fist unwilling to wite' a 'list. We hated people so much that we could not bing ouselves to wite thei names, let alone be willing to make amends to them. We could list all the people we esented, feaed, obbed, etc. This was only the stat of ou Eighth Step list. We needed to examine All ou elations in the light of ou new knowledge of ous~lv~s. In ou Fouth Step we saw some of the pattens we had followed in elating to othes. not have to be exhaustive in making an inventoy because we wee We did looking fo pattens. Now we ae tying to assess the ham we have done. We can settle fo nothing less than total thooughness. We

45 ii need to seach ou memoy fo all.of bu elations and assess the ham we have done. \. As we look at all the physical, mental, emotional and spii t ual damage we have caused thoughout o u dug use, we can easily see a need to id ouselves of thi.~ unpleasant histoy. It helps., to make an accuate suvey of ou past and be as thoough as humanly possible. Have we been, fo instance, exploitive, cold, withholding of affection, judgemental? In ou elations, have we taken advantage of othes o abused the tust othes ~ve placed in us? Have we deceived othes? We need to ask ouselves these questions as well as othe questions like them. pesons we have hamed. '~. ~.. ;,~~ ~~~. j;...~:':'. ~ These people wee ou fiend~i~... ;iei~bos,.'..'s"" ~:..;... ~;. ~.;..'. ~ And we: need'. to put down the names of the family and enlpl oyes. They wee close to us. What have"~e{a9.ne to them? Have we tuned ':.. ~~.:~ '0 t'.1" ~." ;,. ",-.:" these people against us?. Some have.~d:~ with vey good eason shut us totally out of thei li ves.': 6~~ ;,,~t; "put it this way t. ~.. ;'::':')' a.';;i,:,'.,",,:.. I'I1II'.,.....,. "I had a lot of fea about wokitig:'steps Eight and Nine. When... ",,.". J \, I was finally convinced to b.~.gin ~}l.e '~:~t~~s, my sponso had to convince. ':--,::: ~l"'~::~';f.~~~:.~~.., :t.'. me that we would begin with Step' 'one.. ~,p~ee ~d t~ Step Two, and so j ~".,0."!'.:~./..,. ". ~ foth. And by the time I got to Siep ~fght ",I' j: would be able to see the necessity fo woking this step.,-/,c~ee: wee some concete instances -.', ,.,. whee I had hamed people and desied :to ~e amends. I had to face the fact honest+y ~t I had hut anothe human being in some way. Some of the wa:~s I~:hut' people wee obvious I stealing fom them, not paying bills, insulting-and belittling them, beaking pomises and using people. Some of the moe subtle ways in-

46 :. ; 'i I I i ;,i. L/Fage J eluded going to wok high and not doing my best, lying to people who loved me. But most impotantly, I hamed myself. off fom God and the love of othe people. I shut myself I foced myself to do things I eally didn't want to do in the name of dugs. I dove myself compulsively, always tying to make up fo feeling inadequate". In Step Eight we pay fo the willingness to make amends to all we had hamed. Many of us expess and ovewhelmi.ng concen) fo confonting o facing these situations head on. But to eceive the spiitual healing that we obtain though the completion of ttlis Step. we need to be igoously honest. When we honestly look within, we ecognize the value makjng amends to othes can do fo us.. acknowledging the' ham "we did to othes". blame situations fo ou behavio. We commence this Step by fi st It helps vey little to Ou addictive pesonalities diu much to initiate these events and now that we ae clean and sobe choose to make estitution fo ou past abuses. The N.A. pogam is "one big amend divided into pats". We can daw fom ou pevious expeience in Steps Fou though Seven. Remembe ou fist difficulty in Step Thee; ou lives ove to a Highe Powe? tuning ou will and We soon discoveed how to ask ou Highe Powe fo the needed stength to cay us though this confusing peiod. In Step Fou we leaned the significance of being honest, fealess and thoough. We began ou intenal housecl eaning. Steps Eight and Nine help us with ou social housecleaning and gants us the added bonus of feeling fee of guilt at last. Respectfully submitted though the joint effots of Nothen and Southen Califonia Regional Liteatue Committees, Apil 24, 1983 San Fancisco, CA.

47 STEP NINE-"Made diect amends to such people wheneve possible, except when to do so would injue them o othes". In Step Eight we made a list of all pesons we had hamed and became willing to make amends to them all. Step Nine ca.lls on us to take this list and get "into action". willingness to begin this Step. We pay fo the Many of us aleady stated making amends upon aiving to the pogam. It is impotant to be moe than "just soy" though because sinceity is the key hee. As we make ou amends, we need to place faith in ou Highe Powe to guide us. We ageed at'the beginning to "go to any lengths" to stay clean and sobe. We need not put this off any lunge. We should not be evasive when making amends o delay because of fea. We asked God to emove ou self-seeking behavio, sticking to the discussion of ou own faults. We begin to take esponisble ac'tion towads the well-being of othes, ealizing some wongs just can't be coected.. We make amends in many ways. Pehaps a physical apology isn't possible, so we can wite a lette o calion the individuals we listed. Ou families and loved ones usually head the list, but oftentimes being too diect can hut them. caution in making ou amends to those close to us. Execising pudent judgement to all we have hamed is ecommended. We need to execise utmost We appoach these people caefully, ealizing not eveyone is as pleased as we ae about getting clean. Ou employes, businesses and co-wokes suffeed as a esult of ou addiction also. We obviously didn't wok up to pa o eff.i..cif t,: ly handled ou esponsibilities loaded! Some of us stole not only poductivity fom ou companies, but squandeed wecklessly expense

48 .: \'1' i'j i lie/page 2 accounts and othe piviledges. We used the company fo selfish pusuits with little egad fo pofits o losses as a esult. foolishly. Financial amends ae difficult fo most of us who spent money Instead of making ca payments, handling cedit cads passed thei limit o paying the ent on time, chose to buy moe dugs. We caed about little else as long as we could maintain that constant euphoia. Vve Many excuses pevailed egading ou obligations. lied about payments "in the mail " o neglected to answe the phone without a signal o code. Fo some ceditos, it became necessay to epossess ou belongings. We needed to each this kind of humil iation and embaassment to conclude just how dependent we w~e that almighty high! Many ae willing to wok with us once we make a commitment to change ou old ways. Othes will have difficulty undestanding why we did these things. And that's okay. We need to face the~e people and be w~lling to accept thei point of view. If we've been thoough about this to the best of.ou ability, we gain a clea conscience as a esult. It's not impotant that we be fogiven, but that we a!'e willing to change o ectify past wongdoings. on In ecovey, we soon lean the distinction between ight and wong and just how impotant it is to come clean with God and to ouselves. As long as we coect ou past deficiencies and do ou best not to epeat them, nomally all will be well. Afte completion of this Step we expeience enewed stength and the couage to do the next best thing. We maintain this ecovey pocess by woking closely with ou sponso and execising these pinciples in all ou affais. Respectfully submitted by Nothen Califonia Aea and Regional Liteatue Committees, Apil 29, 1983 San Fancisco, CA.

49 STEP TEN 1 "CONTINUED TO TAKE PERSONAL INVENTORY, AND vmen h"e WEHE 3RO~~ ~. PRO:1PTLY ADMITTED IT." 2 3 If we want to eap t~e benefits of staying c~~an, we find it 4 necessay to take continual inventoli..es of ouselves. Hi.dden 5 feas and needs ae still potential diving foces. Just becau~e 10 6 we don't ecognize fea o ange doesn't mean that it isn't influ- 7 encing ou lives. We found it impotant to examine places whe~e 8 we gew angy o ou beliefs wee tested. The aeas we didn't '.;all 9 to question wee those that most needed to be looked at. We addicts suffe f~om a poblem deepe than the du~s we tqo~ 11 Because of this, we must liv~ by spiitual pinciples. Step Ten 12 and all the Steps ae to be applied to evey aea. 13 Thee is no aea that the disease does not affect. The tuth 14 is that fea is pesent in evey aspect of ou lives. So, in ou 15 expeience, the pogam can and must be woked continuously. The 16 pocess of taking inventoy of ouselves is essential. As addicts 'I 17 we ae pone to fea, ange, vanity, complacency, and doing the. 18 wong thing at the wong time. These manifestations of the dis8a can dive us into a place whee we fea that we cannot emain clef We do what the N.A. way of life suggests. It's the only WdY 21 we know fo addicts such as ouselves to c~ange. Fo us, we nust 22 change o die. We lean to accept othes because esentments o im~atience can kill us. The acceptance and woking the p-ogam a~ big changes fom denial and fighting eveything. As time soe:- 25 bi, we gow in spiitual health. Ou old ways of selfishness a:1c 26 ea ae being eplaced with love and this Fellowshi~. 27 i.. ain event is to stay clean.!lje don't use dugs. 28 The effectiveness of an inventoy depends on the willingness

50 , I.I~ I 1 to apply it. We used d~ugs evey day without a qualm. It is nece 2 say to use the tools we have to stay clean and sobe with the sa~ 3 diligence. ~e look at ou actions duing the day and we pactice 4 the at of looking at whee we wee wing, consideing what we cou 5 have done diffeently, and the amends we need to make. ije f ina it 6 helpful and humbling to admit to anothe human being whpe we wee 7 wong. 8 Continuing to inventoy each phase of ecovey helps us monito] 9 what we'e doing. It gives us a way to deal with any gief we bi: 10 upon ouselves. It helps ceate stability in ou lives becua~e 11 egula inventoy is a way to pay attention to the little tninss S( 12 they don't get blown out of popotion o build u9 to a elapse int l~ dug abuse. 14 Ae we doing ou best? Ae we staying honest? Ae we still 15 ~owing, o a~e we slipping back into the old feas and esentment:. It ' 16 It is the pupose of the Tenth Step to answe these and simila 17 uestions. Those defects of chaacte~ which we found in the Foutt 18 :.tep ae deeply ingained in us. The thing \,'e do is check ~o the uf&cing o defects ealy on by woking Ste2 Ten daily. We also ~ound it impotant to examine the othe side of tile oin; the good qualities about ouselves. u continuing inventoies a "gatitude list.1i Often, we included i.'1 Someone once hat it is impossible to be unhappy and gateful at the sai:1e S~\ ie lme. he point is that as we d\olel1 upon esent..'lent o upset in ou live o do we being to feel and act in dishamony with ou suoundings. ecognizing blessings fo which we ae gateful a~tomatically s a step towads spii tual fi'cness and feedo~1 enteed fea. ~jvcs fo:1 gull t and :-:c'l:

51 I! U:.I'J J!\GJ:; 'l'hhee L Thee is value in elating a daily inventoy vebally to anothe. We have found a sponso o spiitual adviso to be of geat assistance when we needed guidance with ou pesonal inventoy. Often we leaned fom shaing with this peson that we wee not alone in ou effots to achieve a clean and seene life. L 7 A quick inventoy taken as needed can benefit geatly in 8 quieting stomy emotions. This quick inventoy is tageted at 9 ou daily events, espetially when people and new situations 10 aise, thowing us off balance. 11 This highlights the peventative pat of the Tenth Step. 12 We can ask ouselves as we go though the day--especially when \Vf 13 become upset o uncomfotable, "Am I slipping into an old pa t te' 14 of fea o esentment? Am I too tied? To hungy? Is my lhink 15 ing getting cloudy? 16 When these things aise, we now have a pocess by which we 17 can stay clean. We have the tools we need to get though the 18 pesent moment clean. We eview ou daily necessities: getting 19 food when hungy, esting when tied, and shaing with anothe 20 individual o in a meeting when we become angy, lonely o 21 obsessed with ou own daily living "poblems". We can call 22 anothe clean N.A. membe befoe we use dugs, and we can begin 23 to get the kind of help we eally need--the help of each othe 24 while we lean how to help ouselves with the pinciples of this 25 pogam. The tools we have been given in t?is pogam give us 26 a way of avoiding gief befoe we bing it on ouselves. They'~ 27 a sot of vaccination against insanity--povided we use them Ull 28 a continuing daily basis.

52 . J:_ ~ 1 Rigoous honesty is the most impotant tool we have in leal 2 ing how to deal with the past and to live today. Although 3 honesty is a difficult tool to pactice, it is a most ewading 4 one. We pactice honesty unde all conditions because it is the 5 antidote to ou diseased thinking. We lose the fea of being 6 coneed. Ou lack of fea and ou new found faith seves as a 7 fim foundation fo couage in the futue. 8 Being honest is not a natual thing fo us to do. We don't 9 expect to pactice total honesty in all things ovenight. It is 10 a gadual pocess in ou daily living. 11 The situations that have seemed the hadest in maintaining 12 ou honesty have poduced the most ewading esults. When we 13 ae honest in eally difficult situations, the feelings of happi 14 ness and seenity ae ovewhelming. 15 Many Qf us have neve befoe expeienced gut-level honesty 16 because we coveed up ou feelings by using. We must lean to 17 get to the bottom of each emotion we have, and face it, so we ca 18 become ou tue selves. Ou lives ae so much simple when we 19 get to know ouselves. 20 "Cash egiste honesty" is a good beginning in developing 21 self-esteem. Self-esteem is based on facing and living by the 22 tuth. \vhen we honestly evaluate what we eally have, we can 23 lean to appeciate it. The gifts of ecovey ae things that ~ 24 can cay with us eveywhee. 25 We honestly chalk up ou achievements,and put ou house jn 26 ode, giving ouselves oom to gow. We begin to staighten 27 out ou messes, and in doing so, we gain both stength and a 28 bette knowledge of ouselves.

53 .1 :,'i'i.;1' TEN PAGE FIVE!:.'"'\ 1 '" 1 Pompt admission of ou wongs, whethe intentioni1l o not 2 has a theaputic value. 'We can fee ouselves fom accumulatin 3 unnecessay stess. It seems that most angy expessions ae 4 the esult of negative expeiences fom the past. By pncticin 5 a daily inventoy, we ae able to elease negative thoughts and 6 actions, and assue ouselves a measue of seenity and peace 0: 7 mind. 8 By dealing with othe people in ou lives, we can beging tc 9 develop a loving attitude. We can lean to fogive moe easily. 10 ange moe slowly, expect less, and give moe to ou bothes a; 11 sistes. We ae taught this kind of unconditional love fom OUI 12 fellow addicts in Nacotics Anonymous. 13 So many of the things which in the beginning sc0med so 14 difficult pove to be ou geatest souces of go...,th and stengt It 15 We didn't stat ou pacticing the pinciples of this pogam 16 because we wee so altuistic. We didn't necessaily apologive 17 to one we had hamed out ol any geat compassion o natual in- 18 clination to be kind. We did it fist and foemost because it 19 because it was the only way we know fo addicts like us to 20 change ou basic chaactes, and like it o not, the law is 21 "change o die." Not wishing to die, we ty to change. At fie 22 we act "as if" we believe ii this new life. We ae toleant of 23 othes because ~sentment o impatience could kill us. Of cou~ 24 as time passes, we ty to gow spiitually, so that ou old way 25 of selfishness and fea may gadually be ~placed with fellow- 26 ship' and love. 27 The key wod in Step Ten is "continued". We do not gaduat 28 o eceive a diploma fo completing ou fist inventoy. We saw

54 1'1 of' l"/\t,e SIX 1 that it was a beginning to becoming moe sensitive to God's will, 2 fo us. Yes, we continued to take pesonal inventoy. We 100~F 3 at ou assets and liabilities and we wought to achieve a balance 4 of comfot by admitting ou wongdoing when it was helpful to de 5 so, and by being willing to fogive when \ve thought othes had 6 wonged us The esults of continuing ou pesonal inventoy ae shown by ou change to a moe patient and toleant human ceing: ceing moe willing to give than take fom life, moe able to love Oll fellows. Now that we ae clean, we have ecognized the advantage of getting ou own house in ode. We can ecognize ouselves as t heat of the poblem. Negativity has been ou way fo many yea1 14 and we ae not able to change i~to complete saints ovenight. 15 Any thought that we ae going to be pefect has to be smashed. 16 We must emain teachable if we ae going to stay clean in this 17 pogam. The "smat" ones who ague a lot usually die, while tl 18 open-minded ones get a.chance to live. We do not entetain the 19 thought of eve achieving pefection. Howeve, we must stive 20 fo stability in ou lives so that we can live happily and be at 21 peace with ouselves. 22 It will become moe. evident as we go fowad, that it is 23 pointless to become angy o get hut by people who, like us, 24 may be suffeing fom the pains of gowing and life

55 STEP ELEVEN "SOUGHT THROUGH PRAYER AND MEDITATION TO H1P.ROVE OUR c)n~.ci0us CONTACT,'lITH GOD, AS t'le UNDERSTOOD HIM, PF.AYING ONLY FOR KNOil LEDGE OF HIS ~ULL FOR US AND THE POh'ER TO CARRY THAT OUT." Thee ae many foms of paye to seek the guidance and diection of God's will fo us. We accept His powe with humility, acknowledgement, suende and gatitude. tole ecognize the selfishness and fea ih ou thoughts, motives and actions 7 and appeal to Him fo help. Seeking God is an activity that 8 stats fom seaching wi thin. 10 may pay: "God gant me the honesty, open-mindedness and willin~ 9 In beginning the day we ask God to diect ou thoughts. ~~ 11 ness to seek Thy will, to accept Thy will and the powe to cay 12 it out." ]3 Spontaneous paye thoughout the day is just as imp0tant 14 as beginning and ending a day, if not of geate value In. 15 functioning with peace of mind. 16 We find ouselves paying because it feels good, because it 17 bings us peace and estoes~ou confidence and couage. It 18 helps us to live a life of love and stay away fom that old life 19 of fea and distust. 20 In the Eleventh Step the pogam we've been pacticing so 21 that we could stay away fom dugs suddenly begins to come alive, 22 to mean something. 23 We wouldn't petend to be able to tell anyone how, when o 24 whee to pay. Thee ae some membes whose way of life sug~ests 25 that many of thei actions and even thei attitudes ae a fom 26 of paye. We'e efeing to thei ability to give of them- 27 selves and thei attitude of gatefulness. The moment we c,1cl1 1 1L.:' 28 not having taken time out fo paye can be used as a moment of

56 ",, I, :, 1 paye. When we use the capacity to ecognize comp~ssion,:md 2 beauty in othes, when accept the miacles in ~Hey fom of lif 3 we begin to be awae of a Powe geate than ouselves as we 4 undestand Him. 5 The wok of all the peceding steps clea the way fo G meditation. In ode to meditate, we must be able to be alone 7 with the eality of ouselves. As active addicts, ou evey 8 action was intent on avoidance of ou eal selves. ~eality was 9 uncomfotable, ou actions wee unacceptable, so we soucht to 10 alte and falsify any awa~ness and, consciousness with any and 11 evey substance available. When theatened with sobe awaenes: 12 of ouselves, we wee filled with a sick and feaful dead, al- 13 most a hoo. 14 The quality of ou meditation is in diect popotion to th It j' '' I, 15 quality of self-a"l!olaeness and self-acceptance. Uti liz in!) qniet 16 time in whateve ~ethod we might choose, we can lean to joune~ 17 to that place inside whee ~e can listen to the whispeing of 18 spiitual wisdom that bings us the peace and comfot we need t 19 go on with faith and hope. We all have the capacity to pactic 20 meditation; the key is to make the time to allow it to ha?pen. 21 In the Thid Step we tied to tun ou will and ou life 0\'; 22 to God. We enew this effot daily in the Eleventh Step. 23 Most of us ebel against this in the beginning. The old 24 feas cy out, 1I~1y will be done. II The fist time 've hea some- 25 one say, "Let go and let God," it sounds idiotic. "t401" we say 26 "If I let go, I'll disappea o someone \.;ill take ac1vantcl':> nf 27 me." But it doesn't wok out that way. What happens instead j1 28 that the moe we impove ou conscious contact with God ViR

57 '~n., ~ A.' ~,} ~,,J (; ~ 'v '\ ~<l,~ : ~J 'oj \j v :, 6 7 8!) paye and meditation, the moe often we pause when doubtful. and say, "God, I don't know what to do. Please shoo T me which wa~' to go," the bette off we ae. It's a fact. When we finally get ou own selfish ~otives out of the way, even just once in a while, and pay fo guictanceeally meaning it--we begin to find peace. calm joy. We begin to feel a We begin to expeience an awaeness and an empathy with othe people that would neve be possible unde the influence of a dug. Afte we accept that we ceated ou own hell and that thee is a God who wants to he_ie _':Is, we begin to make poljess in f solving ou poblems.! Though open-minded effot, we "act ou i~to - ight thinking", letting ou Highe Powe find us, /~way -----' athe than seaching fo God with only ou minds. ':e come to ely on a gowing daily elationship,.,i th a God of ou undestanding. Agnostics and atheists geneally stat out by just talking to "Whateve's the~." One way to develop ou conscious contact with God is to nake up a "gatitude" list, count ou blessings and thank ou Highe Powe fo them. Anothe way is to pactice accepting conditions " ~\~ ~ ;j \l \ as they ae, and tusting that they will impove if they'e supposed to. We do these execises seveal times a day, until they become a outine pat of ou lives. In this way, we begin to face life on God's tems, and that gives us the necessay sense of peace fo us to live clean successfully. As a esult, we have a continuing conscious contact wi th,1 pesonal God of "Love and Sobiety". i'1e enjoy un incea~:i.n/~ assuance of God's will fo us and the s~iitual to effectively live that will. powe neces~a~

58 -., 1 :ihen we pay fo knowledge of God's will fo us and the 2 po\-le to cay that out--a emakable thing happens: we find 3 the means, the ways and the enegies to pefom tas)~s fa bel'on( 4 what we believed possible. By the appaent suende of ou 5 own powe, we gain a fa mightie powe that will see us thou~t 6 evey conceivable tial o touble so long as we keep ~aith an~ 7 enew it though daily paye. 8 These ae not t)1e fi'llce pomises of c.u':;s. You can ~ t':!~ into the meeting?laces 0= :~,J.::'cotics P!,non:'~ous ant) obseve Liles 10 no!'lises as the~,' ~.!1f:oJ.f. i:1 eveyday livi;~' The Eleventh Step has come to be a: ~ :.:\tti :.::...:.l'c of al."a~,'s 12 looking fo God's \"il1 fo us in tl~e cicu: \st::~.lc.: ~:'j f': ou 1 ives. 13 Insteac. of givinq things a lot of thou,]>:',,-.:::-'.:m.t 1:::1Y (Ud thi~, 15 ask to be shown what the lesson is. 16 In the ccuse o~ ou daily lives, we usually tc~6 to foget 17 to keep thi~g3 simple, Aand we build ou poblems into 18 unmovable mountains. Patience is not exactly one of ou stong 19 points eithe. We ae expets at making ouselves so fustate! 20 that we lose pespective completely Being open-minded allows us to hea som~thing save ou lives..(,.. '../..:J L': '-., that might It allows us to listen toiopposi'ng points of view, and come to conclusions of ou own. Open-mindedness lead us to those vey insi~~ts that have eluded us duing ou lives. It is this pinciple, open-mindedness, that allows us to paticipate in a discussion without jumping to conclusions o p0-27 detemining who is ight and who is wong. ~'le no longe h;ivi~ 28 to make fools ou ouselves by standing up fo old ideas that

59 : ~, 1 I ' }', I.1', V,I'J,;/-; 1"1 vo: 1 may not be'applicable today. We have leaned that it is okay L 2 not to know eveything, fo then we ae teachable and can lean 3 how to live ou new life successfully. 4 We begin to see that God's love was thee all the time, 5 just waiting fo us to accept it. Life finally begins to get 6 bette, even though we still face all the heataches and taged 7 that ae the lot of mankind. Few supposedly nomal people ae 8 able to face hadships with the stength and calm shown by N.A.~!) who tuly wok this step. 10 The Eleventh Step is ight whee it should be; it took 11 woking the othe steps fo us to aive at the Eleventh Step 12 in spiitual shape to accept how good it enables us to feel. 1~ ! ~ ~

60 lit i L L ;;j'l'1!.p TWELVE - "Having had a spiitual awakening as 3" as a esult of those steps, we tied to cay the message to addicts and to pactice these pinciples in all ou affais". 'Phis geat step is to be peceeded by the woking of ~- nne though Eleven. Thee ae those of us who tied to stay clh,-" without the bentfit of "having had a spiitual awakening as a esult flf those steps," and they ae no longe with us. The ones who continue to "pactice these pinciples in all (thei) affais," tell 118 that this is the most wondeful thing one can know. The jouney is a feeling of gatitude. The idea of a spiitual awakening may seem like nonsense to a llewcome, but it is a most pofo~nd pomise and pediction. Most (If us come to the pogam full of esistance, defiance and a inne conviction that thee is no way we can eally become spiitual. This step becomes a goal. We wee neve much fo accepting things on blind faith and this step helps us by letting us know how those who peceeded us got that spiitual way of life and accompanying peace of mind that we so despeately wanted. h Life takes on a new meaning, a new joy, and a quality of being and feeling wothwhile. We become spiitually "efeshed and ae glad to be alive. suffeing has cleansed us of some of ou illusions. have been guided to a ne~ife hea1:s. Ou In time we and place in the wold and in ou The steps bing us close to a Highe Powe. They ae goals and the 12th is the one that opens us up to living., to going beyond the wold of ou disease and cleaning up and facing its consequences. The steps seem to hold the only answes fo us that w~ can eally use. In living these steps, we fist begin to 1 ct go '"'f old egotism. We then open up to a Highe Powe, so that we will

61 , J ll:;e all fea of facing ouselves and of facing othe people. Ev~ntually, when we sinceely use this pogam of action in ou daily lives, we will be able to face ou Highe Powe,ouselves, ou loves ones, and even the "cold, cuel wold." We develop a solid base to wok fom, which assues us that we can go anywhee :=twl do anything, with complete assuance that we can handle what... eve we have at hand. With that kind of attitude, we have a eal hanis fo living happily and we ae able to be of help to the addi~t who is still suffeing. Usually, by the time we achieve this state of mind, no one hrs to tell us to shae ou new life with the still-suffeing addict: we ae moe than eage to.help that peson, giving away tha.t which has been given to us. We call it" caying the messa.ge" and we do it in any numbe of ways. The fist way in which we cay the message is by staying clean and sobe with the help of God and the N.A. pogam. Ou new way of life speaks fo itself bette than ou wods eve could. People see us on the steet. They eme~be us as futive, fightened lones. They see us gadually come alive; see the gayness and fea leave ou faces; see a sping come into ou step and a twinkle in ou eyes. The message is meaningless unless we live it. If we do it, we give it moe meaning with ou lives than cu wods eve can. By shaing ou expeience of ecovey with newcomes, both by sponsoship and at meetings, we help ouselves stay clean. We find ouselves being constantly eminded of things that help us want to stay clean. Being able to seve as an instument of a loving God and paticipation in the ecovey of othes ke0s a sense of wonde and gatitude in ou lives. Giving comfot and encouagement to othes encouages and comfots us. Today, we ha'/~

62 ~. '''. '. J;, people in ou lives who stanlby us when it's ough and help us do what we can and not woy about what we can't. "Getting out of 1)1Iselves" gives us moe pespective on life and makes it f'asie to live with eality. We ho longe feel like we have to un fom :1 nything. This pogam has given us a sue way to expl oe ousl~l ves. ooting out defects and leaning to live. We do not shik when callnt ItpOn to cay the message. We know that helping othes woks. w~ do these things because they ae the things that gant the new I ives we ae enjoying. A peson who has woked the Twelve Steps is able to h~lp a newcome in his fist few days by answeing many Qllestions. The moe we wok the steps in ou lives, the moe we ae able to shae with addicts who each out fo help. Doing the twe~step is putting love and commi~~nt into nction. We 12-steppes ae seen by some as being unselfish, but that peception is not always accuate. Thee is no dug on eath that can give us the same good feeling as shaing ou 'expeience, stength, and hope and being able t'o watch some one choose the path of feedom. We happily and selfishly do 12-step wok fo the same eason that we did dugs... it makes us feel good. When we shae with someone, we may say, "Lod ',nake me an instument of Thy Will." To insue ou own ecovey, we should neve go on a twelve step call alone. This also helps the addict who is seeking ecovey because he has two pesons' input. Wheneve we talk to someone about the steps of the pogam we do it as one fiend shaing thei expeience with anothe. We can ask newcomes at meetings if they have a sponso ans have consi~eed doin~ the steps. If they show inteest we can make ouselves availal1le to them as a esouce. We should always make it easy fo so.('onc to ask. If thee is someone in ou!" family who we think needs } :'l J.I, 'lip

63 "f' - fet a ecoveing addict who is not as emotionally involved as we ne to talk to him. Ou feelings would pobably get in the way ::!.nd we could appea angy, o fom esentments. ltje 1 et someone ~'lse talk to him. We ty to avoid the aogance of self-ighteous I'~SS, because it is one of the deadliest foms of self-deception. w~ avoid pushing any ideas on anyone, but we do suggest, stongly, I:hat each peson make an honest attempt to find a Powe geate t:han themselves. We don't set ouselves up as God. That is why it is spiitual. We get to be an instument of God's gace in action. It's a pivilege and an hono to go on such a call. Tho~e of us who do sevice wok ae the luckiest people on God's eath. Those who have been in the pits of despai, now stive to help (ythe people to find a new and bette way to live. Someone said once that he nad neve made an unsuccessful 12- step call. This sounds pompous until we conside what success enlly means. Regadless of the outcome, we have planted the seed of ecovey. Expeience also shows that caying the messa.ge ensues ou own ecovey. We bea in mind what ou own limitations ae and make no expectations fo the othe peson to do o be anything. One twelve step call of this natue can make a life wothwhile. Thee ae plenty of such calls fo those of us in N.A. In the couse of caying the message, each of us comes to ou own undestanding of the Twelth Step. If we have difficulties, we tust ou goups and the pinciples of the pogam to guide us. The Twelfth Step also suggests that we pactice these pinciples in all of ou affais. As long as we stay clean and live thes~ pinciples, we ae doing twelfth step wok. We ae attacting Pf H ) ple to us and the N.A. fellowship by ou example of being c]ean. We no longe wish to paticipate in the poblem. We now seve God. In this manne of sevice, we enew ou vow to tun ou wj}l ~_n(1

64 lives ove to the cae of God. Even if we have no such undestanding, we will acquie it though seeing othes ecove. Fellow adlicts show that God is loving and we will know a life fee of dugs that we neve deamed possible. The Steps do not end hee, they ae a new beginning. All will be well as long as we emain abstinent nnd tust in a Highe Powe of ou undestanding. Living just fo today elieves the buden of the past and alleviates fea of the futue. Clean~e leaned to take whateve actions wee necessay and to leave the esults in ou Highe Powe's hands. We leaned to tust God with ou fate and to let Him help us do ou best each day. The most impotant thing we can do is stay clean today, though eliance upon a Highe Powe. We ~ e-evaluate ou old ideas, so that we can become acquainted with the new ideas that lead to a new way of life. We believe that the old self-destuction and self-centeedness can only be eplaced with spiitual pinciples. The thee basic spiitual pinciples ae honesty, open~mindedness, and willingness to ty. We say that they ae the'..."how" of ou pogam. One of the pinciples of the pogam is an attitude of acceptance. woking the basic tenets of being honest, openminded and willing to change ou detimental ways affods us the oppotunity of neveending gowth and spiitual achievment. Among othe attactive options, that gives us elease fom being stuck, hepless, boed and boing. We can't un the wold o contol ou addiction. As often as we choose to wok the steps on any poblem we have, that is how often we will be successful in esolving that poblem. The ewads of woking the steps ae ultimatly ealized in that ich feeling of completion that comes fom woking and continuing to wok the twelfth step. Howeve, open-mindedness without willingness, will 't us

65 ....:t /! ;j",.: ; ~; 711." pi" ;.: ". ;.'..., t ;. Ou common welfae should come fist; pesonal ecovey ~~ 2 ~ecovey depends on N.A. unity. 3 Common welfae is at the top of the li~~ in the 12 tadi 4 tions, because if you can't believe in youself as an individual, 5 who o what can you believe in? If we beak down "common welfae" 6 to its simplest fom it means shaed happiness, well-being and 7 spiitual pospeity. Common welfae is what is best fo the goul 8 not fo one individual. Befoe voting on something, we can fist 9 think, "would this hut the goup as a whole, o is it just to fit 10 the needs on one peson?" To make sue that thee is stability in 11 the goup w~ should be able to disnqec but not have to disagecabl.', 12 We need to think about the welfae of N.A. fist, not just the wel- 13 fae of ouselves. Coming to believe that we have a common welfae 14 is not always easy. We have come to this pogam with ou pesonal fa.e foemost in Ol.l. minds. Most of us h.ld IlI..'vel- cxpcit!ncl?d th. 16 ind of attention and pesonal cae that we find in the N.A. po- (, : '- I : 't 'f 17 am. We ae accepted and loved fo what we ae; instead of "in 18 of what we ae. The individual is pecious to the goup, 19 nd the goup is pecious to the individual. We seek out the peopl 20 who have the most to offe. We ty'also to shae what we 21 ave with those who have nothing to offe. We get involved with. :22 sevice 'committees in the pogam. \ve study ouselves thouqh the 23 tcps, ou sponsos and othes in the pogam. We depend on Naco- 24 its Anonymous fo ou vey lives. If N.A. dies, we die. It is U!? 25 0 us to peseve ou fellowship so that we will have a place to e 26 ove. 27 As addicts the self-centeed natue ~e possess impais u ability to see beyond ouselves. Any collective consciousness 's theatening to us. Only though pacticing some sot of "Blind

66 TRADI'I'ION ONE-PAGE TWO, fl,,", ~ ' ': 1 Faith" can we stay aound long enough to have the scales of selfisl '2 ness lifted fom ou minds and eyes. What happens on a goup leve 3 usually pecedes what happens on an individual level. Ou pesona 4 ecovey, as it evolves, will slowly begin to take on the chaacte 5 istic of the goup as a whole. 6 We all came to N.A. because we "knew so much," but we we 7 poved wong though many painful expeiences. Ego and self-will.,:," 8 placed us in the pedicaments we found ouselves in. That is why 9 a gqup conscience is necessay. No one peson has found all the 10 answes. That is why we must ely on a powe geate than ouselv( 11 and the gou. 12 We addicts, when finally eclching the doos of N./\., ac 13 vey sick individuals. Even though full of ange, fea, self-pity 14 and self-loathing, we find ouselves in the midst of people who ha' 15 felt as we do. 16 We ae asked to give up ou old ideas, habits and ways 17 of life. It is often fightening to take isks and ty new ideas 18 such as 60nesty, tust and acceptance. We lean,on those who have 19 gone befoe us to shae thei expeience: to give us hope that if 20 this new way of life woked fo them, it will wok fo us too. 21 Thee is much to lea~n and it is a lon~ oad to ecovey. 22 Fo an addict to stop using dugs and live clean and sobe with any 23 measue of happiness o poductivity equies a majo upheaval in 24 that peson's pyschic, emotional and spiitual make-up. The steps and the fellowship offe us the keys we need to make that 26 geat change. 27 Recovey is diffeent fo eveyone. But fo all of us, 28 it means gowth and a new way of life. It is the pocess which

67 TRADITION ONE - PAGE THREE... -'I leads to a spiitual awakening, to happiness nnd seenity. 2 The N.A. fellowship is a piceless gift fo its seemingly 3 endless supply of answes to ou daily living poblems. We get 4 these answes in countless foms: membes haing at meetings, talk 5 ing with ou'sponsos, shaing with a newcome o anothe addict, 6 paying and meditating, o eading ou N.A. liteatue. They ae 7 all vital pats of the pogam.. :: ; ~ 8 Once we have taken the fist step and admitted to ou 9 innemost selves that we ae indeed addicts, we then sense that ou 10 vey suvival depends on the unity of N.A. Unity means we ae all 11 oking towad the SLl!llC goil J.: abst il1cncl~... folll dugs. l\s indi v idll.:i '12 membes, we need neve compete with,one anothe. We ae thee to 13 lend suppot,and to help one anothe. We compae ouselves only 14 with ouselves, neve against one anothe. By combining effots, 15 ou fellowship thives and becomes stonyc. Dy woking agninst 16 each othe, ou fellowship could be ton apat. 11 We need to always emembe ou failues in kicking dugs It 18 alone. But somehow when we all help each othe, it woks. As 19 addicts, we know the tuth in the statement, "If we don't hang to- 20 gethe, we'll all hang sepaately." The common welfae of the gou: 21 is based upon helping ouselves by helping othes. Shainq and ca 22 ing is the lifeblood of ou pogam. 23 To follow the taditions of the poqllm stengthens the 24 unity of the goup. This insues that the fellowship stays alive 25 and fee. Those who keep coming back to meetings notice a tie that 26 binds us togethe. If unity is stong and stable, the addict has 27 a chance to ecove. 28 Stability is vitally necessay fo us because whee we ị' ','

68 ~ " TRADITION ONE-PAGE FOUR '... ' -.',1 come fom instability was ou way of life. We ae able to do thin' 2 as a goup that we wee unable to do fo ouselves, mainly stay ( (I 3 clean and sobe. 4 We cheish ou fellowship fo the mental, emotional and 5 spiitual suppot we eceive fom one anothe and the genuine cai '6 e fee fo each othe. Whethe o not we like individual membes 7 ielevant, when we conside the deep concen we have fo evey 8 ddict because we know what it's like. We've all been though the 9 ane pain and humiliation and we ejoice in each othe's ecovey. 10 If you have no unity you have no pesonal ecovey. Unit' 11 fom sticking togethe fo the cn"mmon we..' J ll~ of th~ gullp. 12 ithout unity thee is no goup. Unity keeps the ties of the g~u? 13 Unity c,omes though N.A. membes staying in the positive, 14 We must keep N.A. togethe, to keep it stong fo ou own 15 ake. We wok fo the common qo()d so th.) t the dccis,i ons we make 16 nd the actions we take may help all of N.A., not just one membe 17 goup. 18 'These ae the bonds of N.A. unity that hold us togethe. 19 ithout this unity few o none of us could o would ecove fom 20 he devastating effects of ou pesonal addictions END

69 - - I....,, "." o 4".'".~ J.,. TRADITION T\'JO 1 "FOR OUR GROUP PURPOSE THERE IS BUT ONE ULTIMATE 2 AUTHORITY -- A LOVING GOD AS HE MAY EXPRESS HIMSELF IN OUR GROUl CONSCIENCE; OUR LEADERS OUR BUT TRUSTED SERVANTS, THEY DO NOT 4 GOVERN. " Many of us addicts cone to N.A. full of age in the aeas of authoity and authoity figues. Some of us have eact advesely to authoity most of ou lives and usually cone out o the shot end of these encountes. Being self-willed pesons 9 caused us many heataches and miseies that dove us fancticall 10 though the doos of Nacotics Anonymous A The 2nd Tadition's main theme is to quiet this stugs within ouselves and with each othe. collective will. and pacticed. Goup conscience is a It is the hope of God's will being adheed to We must cease and desist with ou eactionay behavio and join togethe unde God's gace. aound fo.awhile.. Ou goups consist of newcomes and those who've been Even when we didn't know what we wee votinc " " on, we wee given the piivelegn to vote! keeping in line with t Tadition. New addicts ae coning in daily and the heat of ou loving pogam gows -- each goup that meets is the expession a loving God. God eveals His will though each of us. If we stop long enough to listen, we will hea that small voice within. we fis't come to the pogam, \-Ie find it difficult to be still c listen. In goups we have seen confusion, but then in the middl of it one anonymous voice might say, "Maybe we should do this," 27 A big sigh of elief comes ove the goup and eveything settl~~ 28 down again. This insight comes fom cd and He makes it eal WI

70 ~ Ị: L. J. I PAGE TWO 1 simple so that we can undestand Anyone who is willing may involve themselves in sevi If by chance, they find themselves tying to contol the goup I attempting to confom the goup to thei will, they will eceiv 5 a ude awakening. The beauty of the goup conscience is that a- 6 7 one may voice feelings and/o opinions, but in the final ana1ys the goup as a whole will vote and that vote is final. No one 8 peson o goup of pesons can contol N.A. The goup conscien 9 10 would stifle them befoe they got up any stean. Occasionally we have seen individuals, often with the 11 best intentions, sway the goup into voting a cetain way. Thi[ 12 is undestandable since many of us ae so enthusiastic about st, 13 ing clean and about N.A. We feel the suge of new life aid we 14 ightfully cedit N.A. Some of us feel a desie to eveangelize 15 and futhe ou cause as we see fit. We feel the temptation of powe and self-impotance and ask God to. diect us in caying His message of ecovey. We will want"to make evey effot to : unbiased in pesenting issues to ou goups; simply pesent the pos and cons of the matte and leave it at that. The goup vo: will be best fo~ all, if we ask God to show us His will and di~ ou goup's conscience. When we aive at the fellowship we may be ovewhe1mec by things which ae beyond ou compehension. Things like posi 24 tions (secetaies, leades of meetings, etc.) and lengths of 25 sobiety. Each meeting is led by someone. Goups have seceta: 26 and goup sevice epesentatives. Aeas have committees with 27 Chais, Teasues, Secetaies, etc. The sevice stuctue ot 28 N.A. can look quite complex if we foget to keep it simple. Thf uniqueness lies in the fact that it is all based on the individl

71 , " i Ii I! 1 I 21 I '1: PAGE THREE membe. We may not have a concept of a Highe Powe. TheefoE we place a lot of faith in individuals who we consistently see a~ pacticing examples of the pogam. It is only afte we come in contact with a belief in some Highe Powe that we finally eali that what is tanspiing withing the Fellowship and goups is no always pe-odained by the membes but by the authoity of a lov God as He expesses Himself in ou goup conscience. the Fellowship. to the Fellowship. All the committees, offices, and epesentativs sev No chaipeson o any othe office may dictate The committees suggest only; they don't make laws o enfoce ules. Thee ae many positions open to those w cheish sevice, fom the goup's coffeemakes to the tustees. The tem tusted sevant is self-explanatoy. goup elects him o he to a position within ou stuctue, and that position is one of sevice, o defined in anothe way, som one who caies out the goup conscience, often without ecognition. These elected epesentatives ae, not the leades o standad beaes of the goup. Leade.s don't goven. of the Twelve Taditions. The This is a vey impotant aspect This:ls a spiitual pogam, no.t poli tical o social. Leades ae but tusted sevants. They help t keep ou goup unning smoothly, and they ae given the ability to do that by God. o the membe with 20 yeas of sobiety. They ae no bette o wose than the newcome They ae given positic of esponsibility by a goup conscience and we can have faith in. ou epesentatives becauge we have faith in ou Highe Powe., Because we choose to believe in His loving authoity i' ou~ lives, evey day clean and sobe is a gift of life. A~ lovin~,

72 i_,..,.., 1 TRAD'l'ION TWO PAGE FOUR God, goup conscience, and tusted sevants all add up to fee~ II.~. I :-",... "i.;! 2 : f) 11 fo the goup. Coming fom a bondage of self-will, we ae lift to a highe place of gaditude fo ou new feedom today. We come to ealize that when we ae entusted with positions of commitment within ou goup and within ou Fellow ship, we ae tusted to pefom these positions though love a within the bounds of ou common welfae. Once we ae of sevic in any capacity, we ae touched by the ovewhelming tust ou fellow membes place in us. fellowship. It should be an hono to seve OUl Though it is often misconstued, it is neve misplaced, because eveything that happens occus fo a highe pu 12 pose than we as individuals. ae awae of. As long as we place 13 God's will ahead of ou will, all will be well! t 16 ' t; i;!' 28

73 tj l 21 i. ( 4 STOP USING." '-'-;-- c- ~./L.L,-:;-:--'<:" / C'J ':-";., "THE ONLY REQUIREMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP IS A DESIRE TO The wods membeship and desie ae the highlighted wods in this tadition. What is membeship in Nacotics Anonys mous? Mentbeship is belonging. We have a saying, "You ae a 6 membes when you say you ae." This is one of the only ogani zations whee membeship does not equie some type of accomplishf9 ment o payment. You don't have to do anything to attain membe-: ship. You have only to desie abstinence fom dugs. The fact that a desie to stop using was all that was equied opened the doos fo many of us. Thee is no long list of equiements. What would become of N.A. if we wee to place tems and, conditions on membeship? Without Tadition Thee, we would fight to keep ou beloved pogam fom being diluted by those we think 17 f3' 1": 22 ~ 25 f; ~ don't belong. If we had been baed fom these doos, we may well have died. Thee ae no dues o fees in N.A. We ae made up of all diffeent kinds of people. Anyone may join, no matte what thei backgound if they have a desie to stop using. No matte what dug of choice, simply ente the doos with a desie to stop using and you'e a membe. This gives us the choice o~ allowing ouselves and othes to emain hee. No one knows whee we have all come fom, the dak and lonely pathes we have walked: yet we all shae what we find hee thought this tadition. At fist it may be difficult fo us to elate to people who used diffeently than we did, but we ae told to "look fo the similaities athe than the diffeences." If we keep an opn mind, ~e see that the feelings we expeienced while using,

74 I I PAGE TWO 1 and in ou sobiety, ae vey much the same. Some membes of ou fellowship have been able to see and face thei own addiction only afte pusuing a cue fo a spouse, child o othe loved one. Whateve oad We took to find ou way to N.A. we believe that it was ou own pesonal Highe Powe leading us thee. The say.ing is; "No one comes though these doos by mistake." We ae welcomed into the heat of Nacotics Anonymous simply because we have a desie. No one asks fo ou cedentials. We have paid ou dues "out thee" but that, is ou business and we don't have t o pove it. Many of us wondeed if this was the ight place fo us; had we shot enough dope? Would we be accepted if all we did was smoke pot o take pesciption pills? Did we have to have a police ecod? These questions wee quickly answeed though the love and acceptance of the fellowship. When this tadition egisteed in ou bains, it gave us the feedom to belong and stay if we chose to. We ae all in the meeting fo the same eason; we don't want to use dugs anymoe and we need help in living clean and sobe. I ~~h We ~ Nacotics Anonymous believe in total abstinence, ou doos ae still open to those individuals still clinging to "old ideas." Ou bothes and sistes who fo in- 2 ~ stance, give up shooting nacotics, but hold to maijuana in a last-ditch effot to keep getting high. Thee ae some too. u0c bless them, who must go "back out" ove and ove again. Thee is hope, howeve, in that they ae neve baed fom the fellowship and someday they too may ecove. No one can be kicked out of ou fellowship. If we closed ou doos to those who aen't able

75 PAGE THREE i ~ ) 91! L yet to say clean o may not be eady, we would be aiding in thei death and peventing thei ecovey. When we see people etun to using, it huts us deeply. The pain and the lies will be obvious to us and we know we don't have to live that way eve again if we don't want to. ouselves judging them, pehaps it is because we'e secetly If we find jealous that they can still use and we can't. We may get fustated at the pepetual newcomes, not ealizing that the only equiement is a desie to stop using. An honest desie is not a thinking pocess, it's a feeling pocess that C:!quie~; fulfillment of its own. It is not a want o a need, it is a longing. Most eveyone has felt a s. longing fo something o someone in his/he life. Many of us have~ fel t a b~i l~g need to belong, -- to anythin-q-; ~ody. 5u t usually ou lack of self-woth and fea of failue pevented us. But even when we didn't think we could meet the demands of a gang o othe goups, we found we could live up to N.A. 's membeship equiements: a desie to stop using. When we fist aived at Nacotics Anonymous, all we knew was that we wee sick and had to do something diffeent. We wee longly; we had no self-woth and knew nothing of being clean and sobe. All we knw what that we needed help, and had 25 nowhee else to go. Most of us had aleady tied eveything else. And when we fist head this tadition, it bought elief. We didn't know what would be expected of us o what we would have to do to achieve happiness. Tuthfully, many of us didn't want to stop using dugs; addiction was all we knew. But it is not equied to be clean to attend N.A. meetings: we found that all we

76 needed to keep coming back was a desie to stop using. Some of us didn't think dugs wee ou poblem anyway. We had tied to blame ou using on life and situations but we soon found that this was not the case. In ou heats we eventually ealized that dugs just didn't wok anymoe. Ou desies may be obscue and buied deep beneath ou defenses and feas. But the longe we stay clean, the moe intense ou desie fo sobiety becomes. We choose the l2-step pogam as ou philosophy fo life because it shows us, a day at a time, how to live in this wold without using o abusing ouselves o othes. Most of us come to N.A. to escape the suffeing of using. We stay to expeience the joy of living. We pay that the doos of Nacotics Anonymous 'will emain open to anyone and eveyone who stumbles in. Ou pimay concen is that the newcome have a safe haven to come and get well though the twelve steps. 24 S C ItS

77 In t..,:.'... TRADITION FOUR 1 "EACH GROUP SHOULD BE AUTONOMOUS, EXCEPT IN MATTERS 2 AFFECTING OTHER GROUPS, OR N. A., AS A WHOLE. II 3 The autonomy of ou goups is one of ou most pecious 4 possessions. This sounds geat but what does it mean? What is 5 to be autonomous? The dictionay defines autonomous as "existi: 6 o capable of existing independently", "esponding, eacting o 7 developing independently of the whole." Autonomy is all these 8 things to us and moe. Ou goups ae tuly self-govening and 9 not subject to outside contol. Each goup can exist on its OWl 10 if it must. Each goup has had to gow on its own and stand on 11 own two feet. 12 While autonomy is a vey good thing, it can also beco' 13 a potential dange if we use it as an excuse to violate ou Twe 14 TIaditions o cut ouselves off fom communication with othe 15 'goups. We follow this tadition and all the othes fo the : potection of N.A. on a goup level and on all levels... This tadition encouages us- to be self-gove'ning as goup. Electing ou own tusted sevants and caying the mes~ to the addict who still suffes. Each.goup has the ight to pick the time, place, tyi of meeting, fomat, its own secetay, teasue, GSR, leades othe things diectly affecting that goup, though a goup co; science.. Each goup must follow the Twelve Taditions of Nac' Anonymous in ode to be consideed an N.A. goup. Without ou autonomy we'd be just anothe oganizati, with a stingent stuctue like the copoate ladde. If this happened, then followe~ would follow blindly, leades would 1 (to who knows whee) and the powe bokes would manipulate.

78 !~...,... "o.: i page TWO 1 Fouth Tadition will not allow this to happen. 2 As addicts, fo most of us it's petty easy to be self 3 govened o self-diected. We ae fond of "doing ou own thing" 4 and sometimes esent anyone telling us what to do. We cay thi 5 attitude into ou goup and insist qu goup be self-govened. -.!t~!if ~'~J 6 can be a vey good thing-because we then have the feedom to be 7 ceative. Ou goups, individually, come up with new and diffe 8 ideas about how they can most effectively cay the message to. 9 addict who still suffes.. If N.A. enfoced some kind of egulat 10 wheein all the goups had to follow a cetain fomat, we would 11 lose ou individuality and ou ceativity along wit? it; This 12 would not be pactical anyway, since diffeent goups seve diff~ 13 ent kindso! people with diffeent needs. 14 Ou communities may be in diffeent pats of the wold 15 We may speak diffeent languages. We may meet in diffeent facio 16 li.ties. Because of these diffeences, we may have a need to stn.. 17 tue ou me~tings in diffeent ways. Wnat is impotant is that 18 adhee to ou taditions and keep in lin~ with the pupose of N.: 19 as a whole. Because ecovey is ou goal we need to follow the 20 fellowship's past expeiences in egad to ou taditions. We Ci 21 not do anything in ou individual meeting that may tea down otht 22 goups o N.A. as a whole. 23 Without sacificing ou individuality, we can meet witt 24 epesen'tatives of othe N.A. goups. In this way we can exchan( 25 ideas and pehaps impove ou effectiveness in caying the messc 26 which is what a goup is all about. Communication seves anothe: 27 pupose in that many of us:ae inexpeienced in such pinciples,a 28 the Twelve Taditions of Nacotics Anonymous. Just as we use a

79 l" I"~ i i :' ~ " l..i~.l.ion FOUR PAGE THREE 1 sponso to guide us in pacticing the Twelve Steps and Tadition 2 in ou pesonal ecovey pogams, so can we benefit fom the ex 3 peience of othe membes and goups in pacticing the Tadition 4 In ou lack of knowledge, it's possible we could inadvetently 5 beak taditions and othe goups and membes will help us by na 6 ing us awae of it so we don't bing ham to ou goup o to oth 7 goups. 8 Goup membes who ae dissatisfied with a paticula 9 goup o goups may stat new meetings. Because of this, many 10 meetings have become unstable fo a time o have had to close al 11 togethe. On the othe hand, goups that pactice the tadition: 12 tend to gow. 13 Goup autonomy should always be high on the list of p~. 14 oities. But how the goup may affect N.A. as a whole needs to 1.. (:" '....~.li:. '.. ' " I, : 15 held above what the goup may wish in a given situation. The wa1 16 we use ou autonomy is just as impotant as autonomy itself. In '-17 the past, goup autonomy has been used to justify the violation 18 othe taditions. This should neve be allowed to happen because 19 spiitual pinciples ae neve in conflict with othe spiitual 20 pinciples. 21 An example of a matte affecting N.A. as a whole happe 22 when N.A. was just getting stated in a paticula aea. A gou~ 23 was fomed to discuss the Steps'. N.A. had no book o liteatue 24 on the steps at the time, so well-meaning membes adapted the boc 25 of anothe twelve step pogam. This was not only in violation c 26 N.A. 's Twelve Taditions, it also put Nacotics Anonymous in the 27 position fo a possible la~suit fo epoducing copyighted mate: 28 without pemission. When the seveity of the situation was comp

80 . - I TRADITION FOUR PAGE FOUR 1 hended, the goup voted to stop using the book. But it was a 3 2 difficult decision and a had time fo stuggling N.A. goups in aeas whee thee ween't many membes o much long-tem sobiety. 4 At times it has been tempting to compomise ou pinciples; it 5 seemed to be the easie way. We had had to hold tue to ou 6 Twelve Taditions, tusting that the stom would pass and ou 8 7 fellowship would suvive, if God meant it to, without compomise o violation of pinciples. Ou histoy is the poof of this fait 9 N.A. has cetainly gone though tials and tibulations in its 10 gowth thoughout this county and othes, but it has suvived. 11 And it has flouished and become stonge beca1.:lse of the in teg i ty 12 gained though holding fast to ou Twelve Taditions. 13 Anothe thing affecting N.A. as a whole is: peopl~ 14 attending N.A. meetings who ae pesently in othe dug ehabili- 15 tation pogams. Many of these people ae foced into these po- 16 gams to keep out of institutions o to keep thei job, family, et t 11 and ae not sue o don't feel they'e adaicts. Since many of ls these people ae not seious about stayinq clean and sobe, thei 19 attitude may affect othe membes who do want to stay clean and 20 sobe, o may hinde the goup's conscience towad positive absti- 21 nence and sobiety. If this is the case, obviously the "dug eha 22 candidates theaten the goup conscience. Can the goup handle it 23 Afte some gowing pains, will the goup be stonge than befoe? 24 These ae tough questions to answe at the time. But tl: 25 answe will come povided the goup appoaches the poblem with 26 goup inventoy. It is up to the goup conscience on what to do 27 about this. ~ 28 Some of these situations have been handled successfully

81 - 1.I..tV\U.J..J..lUl'l PAGE FIVE UUl{ 1 by doing the following: 1) equesting that those who aen't SUI 2 they'e addicts to please efain fom paticipating: 2) emind: 3 those people fom othe pogams that they'e in an N.A. meeting 4 and telling them "how it woks." 5 Some esentments have been felt by those people attend: 6 meetings fom othe pogams, but those who eally want to be Clf 7 and sobe keep coming back. I, ' i i 8 When we use ou,autonomy fo the good of the goup we I 9 be caeful that ou actions do not hut othe goups of the fell( 10 ship of Nacotics Anonymous. Again we ae given a simple ule 0 11 thumb. If we check to make sue that ou actions ae clealy wi 12 in the bounds of ou Taditions, if we don't epesent anyone bu 13 ouselves, if we don't dictate to othe goups o foce anything 14 upon them, and if we take the time to conside the consequences '15 ou actions ahead of time, then all will be well.. 16 In spite of all the conflicts we've expeienced, ou '17 fellowship has continued to gow and ou message has been delive 18 The poof of N.A. 's validity is in the fpct that ou membes ae 19 staying clean. We do ecove! 20, , 28

82 .' TRADITION SIX "An N.A. Goup ought neve endose, finance, o lend the N.A. name to any elated facility o outside entepise, lest poblems of money, popety o pestige divet us fom ou pimay pupose." This tadition sets up some guidelines to potect N.A. as a whole, the individual membes and to peseve and insue ou pimay pupose, "helping the addict who still suffes." Con- ":, tove~~ aises when menbes endose o announce.outside entepises and damages the atmosphee of ecovey in ou meetings. Financing, endosinq o lending ou namp to outside facilitjes We must always 'emembe it' s ~~E pogam -addicts helpi ng addicts- not facilities teating addicts fo money o pestige. Ou pupose is not to become ich o influential, but to stay clean and help "the addict who still suffes.". The 6th Tadition tells us to foget about the powe stuggles associated with endosement and to embace the simplicity of a spiitual pogam which has no govenos o diectos, no dues o fees and no pofessionals. The undelying pinciple is letting go of ou old i~eas (money, popety and pestige) and gasping new standads (spiitual and emotional gowth). The 6th Tadition has been one of those just sot of ead and let go at that. It's had to undestand. But when we eally take a look, when we eally ty to undestand, it's simplicity amazes us. We can see the dange of endosement, financial suppot and letting othes use ou name; we can see how easily things can lead to abuse of money, popety and pestige; and

83 2.,C--F'c"" / ' Let's take a close look at what this Tadition eally / '-. says. Fist thing, a goup ought neve to endose. To endose is to sanction, appove, o ecommend. Endosements i can eithe be diect o implied. We see diect endosements evey day. A diect endosement is often used to pesu~de someone to do something. An implied endosement is one that is not stated. Although we don't usually ecognize it as such, implied endosements occu in ou ]2 step wok. The ecommendation of facilities fo detoxification, withdawal o pivate counseling may sometimes be indicated. Howeve, it should be gaphically defined as the individual's own econmendation and is in no way connect0d with N.. i\. Related facilities ae facilities that deal with ecovey dug teatment centes, etc. Nacotics Anonymous does not own any of these facilities, no does N.A. back financial entepises of any natue. Owneship of anything ceates influence, fom addiction,such as hospitals, detoxes, ecovey homes, which in tun fostes self-seving instincts which ae contadictoy to the philosophy of the N.A. pogam. When money o L popety ae involved, people tend to become geedy. The suffeing addict may not seem as impotant anymoe. When pestige is involved, people's egos and hut pide cause poblems. We don't want to get pestigous in N.A. because we want to each out to eveyone who needs help. To stive fo pestige would also be disastous because it would stay us fom ou pimay pupose, which is to cay the message to the suffeing addict. Afte all, we'e tying to stay sobe and clean, not tying to be the ichest o the best. Only an exteme violation of the Taditions would wa~nt

84 3. and patic~pation can emedy most all Tadition poblems. Exteme 6th Tadition poblems seldom occu and when they do they ae only examples of how it doesn't wok. It's not difficult to see how the N.A. pogam could apidly become divesified, ou unity diluted and misepesen ted to fit the needs of elated facilities o entepises. An exampl e is povided by a goup which had been meeting in a ecovey home. The ecovey home was expeiencing financial difficulty, and asked the secatdy of the N.A. goup to wite a lette of ecommendation fo the ecovey home. The secetay; inexpeienced in the pinciples of the 12 Taditions, was concened about the house folding und natually \vanted to help out. He wote a lette, endosing the ecovey house, and t."pesented himself as secetay of an N.A. goup. Regadless of the fact that the house eceived funding and did vey well afte that, this membe violated the 6th Tadition by lending the N.A. name to an outside entepise. It is impeative, if one must make ecommendations, to do so as an individual only. It is best fo N.A. not to be involved with outs i de functions, because many poblems can aise. We have seen that the best way to avoid these poblems is to stee clea of any situations tllat may distact us fom ou ~imay IJUpose. We choose not paticipate in conflicts fo powe and influence. W0 can let othes stuggle fo contol, and concentate on o u own pioity of ecovey. Endosing o lending ou name to any e - lated facility o outside enteptise elinquishes some of ou esponsibilityfo ou ecovey. ive ' ve tied "easie softe ways " and that ' s how we got to N.A..

85 t 4. Some membes even stay away fom bu meetings to avoid this contovesy. Standing fimly fo beliefs, yet suendeing selfwill to goup conscience becomes a valuable ecovey expeience. This cannot be leaned by unning away. We ae solely esposible fo ou ecovey and ou actions. We pactice the taditions fo ou own welfae and the potection of N.A. We pay fo an end to these contovesies. Fo ecovey, fo unity, fo us all. N.A. needs to emain sepeate entity. To allow lending of the N.A. name o financing of othe oganizations would defeat us in ou main pupose, sap ou enegy and divide us. N.A. is a place whee an addict cna go to be with othe addicts and lean the pocess of ecovey. We want to keep ou pogam as simple as possible, and the 6th Tadition ensues this. By keeping financial mattes simple, ou feedom will not be impeded. Let us neve lose sight of this goal. Let's stive to keep the pinciples of the pogam foemost in mind so that the many addicts who need and want this new way of life will have a chance to ecove. ~

86 C. -:-- /.--- T /";--G~/O f- C/'I, " ; -,. ' ~. TRADITION SEVEN "Evey N.A. goup ought to be fully self - suppoting, declining outside contibutions." The 7th tadition addesses the N.A. goup. Most people take the pinciple of this tadition one step futhe, and apply it to Nacotics Anonymous as a whole. To be self-suppoting financially is also to keep in line with the othe taditions. In following this tadition, we ae maintaining ou antomony, independent of outside influences. At the same time we ae intedependent on ou fellowship as a whole. It fees us fom the temptation to become caught up in pesonal powe, popety and pestige, and at the same time fees us fom being financially blackmailed o compomised fom the outside. The fellowship of Na cotics Anomymous is suppoted by itself. The membes suppot the goups who suppot the aeas who suppot the egions who suppot the WSC. This is tue not only in tems of financial donations, but also in tems of people. Each goup in N.A. has cetain monetay esponsibilities to fulfill which enables the goup to meet. Some of t hese ae ent fo the meeting site, efeshments, and liteatu e to povide fo all membes. It is appaent that in ode fo the goup to suvive, money has to be obtained. Whee does it come fom? It comes fom the membes of the goup. We, as membes of ou individual goups, donate what we can financia-ly to he lp the goup meet its monetay commitments. As membes of Nacotics Anomymous, we need to emembe what was given to us feely, so we too shall give feely. It is the donations of each membe th~t

87 '''';~JI ~h,,~ ;:I11m.1 ll~ tn ccntiml~ to shae ou messaqe of ecovey. 2 allow N.A. business to function smoothly and efficiently ~ It is not mandatoy fo eveyone to "chip-in"; some of us don't have the money to help pay fo ou needs and some do. The membes can povide fo the needs of the goup by volunteeing to make coffee, setting up the chais, etc. If we, as membes, contibute to ou goup, it makes us feel moe a pat of the as much about it as if we gave it"to ouselves. Taking cae of goup. We know that when othes give us something we don't cae ou qoup makes ou fellowship even moe pecious to each one of us. The goup must be self-sufficient, doing things fo itself and making things happen (fund aises, etc.) when money is needed. pogam that gives us a clean, dug-fee life. If we didn't want As addicts we donate to ou goup and aea sevices, to suppot a.,thi' way of life we wouldn't be hee. The eason we choose to decline donations fom any souce outside the N.A. fellowship is because we can't function" with anyone execising contol ove us. Oependence upon outside contibutions caies the dange of stipping away incentive and selfsufficiency. No matte how altuistic an outside "benefacto" might be, it is,a cippling "aid" that emoves the self-woth developed by self suppot. Accepting outs~de contibutions takes away moe than self-woth. When we become dependent on outside suppot, thee is always the possibility that the suppot may be withdawn at any time, fo any eason. It makes no diffeence whethe the financial Withdawal would be because of actual lack of funds o philosophical diffeences, if suddenly fo easons we mayo may not undestand o accept, that suppot ceases. We cannot affod to depend on outside contibutions. We could be left with panic, fustation, confusion and despai. We could be left without even the basic ne-

88 \ 3. FFF i Ou stengths would become scatteed and chaotic. When ou fin ancial existence is independent of outside contibutions, it allows ~us the motivation, caing and pide to be self-suppoting. We we ae also contibuting to ou own pesonal ecovey.. ealize that each time we contibute to N.A., whethe by suppoting ou local meetings o assisting in an N.A. sponsoed fundaise, Some membes of N.A. feel it's alight to accept small monetay donations, gifts of food, Chistmas tees and affle pizes fom outside (the N.A. community) souces. This clealy violates the 7th tadition. The tadition states "declining outside contibutions." It does ~ say "declining outside contibutions except in the case of some fee food fo ou Chistmas dance/pot-luck, and except if we ae having a affle and we need good pizes to affle off." No, it says Ndeclining outside contibutions," peiod. When we accept ~donations fom outside oganizations we open the doo to the poss ibility of outside influence. Fo example, conside a goup meeting in a facility which cannot accept monetay compensation fo ent. Ou expeience has shown that some facilities may influence a goup by esticting who may attend o what can o cannot be discussed at the meeting. A possible solution to this poblem might be donating N.A. liteatue as ent. In othe instances when total payment is not equied o possible, a token compensation should be made to stay within the pinciple of the 7th tadition By this means, the goup maintains its independence. When an N.A. goup allows itself to accept donations fom someone who is not an addict, it can set the goup up fo outside,pessues fom the dono. It is a well known fact that money ep. esents powe. If a peson contibutes to the suppot of anothe they sometimes wish to contol the actions of the othe. N.A. is such a bea\), -'Illy simple o.q.ani-~tion, w~ eally don't.1<.. it

89 .4. \- that funding fom the govenment o othe endowments would be nice, but we must maintain ou feedom to help addicts the way that only we can. We 'don' t accept outside contibutions because we want to hold on to the feedom we have - the feedom to ecove any way we can and to live any way we choose. The always seems to be a need fo money in the fellowship. Even so, gants and gatuities fom gateful families and fiends must be declined. It is.appaent that when money o things ae donated to anyone, it can cause misundestanding o esentment. How many of us donates to anything without expecting something in etun? Reliance on outside contibutions will neve make the goup unified in it's goals. N.A. isn't a pogam which is tying to get ich. It is a ~pogam of helpful,.loving and caing people who just want to stay clean. Fo N.A. as a whole to gow ou individual goups depend on contibutions fom thei membes. Suppoting ou goup makes us moe esponsible pesons and insues us of ou new life's goals without the influence of pesons who haven't been whee we've been o who don't undestand ou illness. Beaking Tadition 7 may seem hamless at times. We want to make money to bette be able to cay the message., BUT, not by violating ou taditions. It is bette to stuggle and wait fo God's time fo ou 'fellowship to gow and expand, than to violate one of ou most impotant taditions so that we may tempoaily excel.

90 e I., i ' -. o- TRADI'ION EIGHT "Nacotics Anonymous should emain foeve nonpofessional, but ou sevice centes may employ special wokes"..., The N. A. pogam of ecovey is based on the concept of one a~dict helping anothe. By shaing ou expeience, stength and hope with the addict who still suffes, we offe a pogam of ecovey in which we ouselves ae the living poof. Ou ecovey isn't basec in theoy o in clinical fomulas but in God woking ~aily in ou lives. We ae ecoveing addicts who, by the gace of'god, have been given a daily epieve fom ou disease. function of Nacotics Anonymous is to povic.e an atomosphee of ecovey.fom addiction. None of the membes ae paid. Tnis pogam has-been called a "hip pocket pogam". cay this pogam with us wheeve we go. We The We don't equie any equipment o special facili tie-s.,. It doesn't take special taining to make this pogam wok. still suffes.. steps an~ We cay ou message to the addict who Addicts shaing thei own expeience and knowledge about the ecovey seems to be moe effective than many of ou ~ealings with "pofessionals". The pofessional has no place in ou Fellowship; ou vey natue pohibits this. P~ofessionalism as such is not the poblem. and his sphee. We ecognize and admie the pofessional Many of ou membes.in the endeavos outside the Fellowship have become pofessionals in thei own ight. It's just that thee's no place fo pofessionalism in N. A.; fo ou pupose we have leanec the theapeutic value of one addict helping anothe i f,i, i

91 c ~s tuly without paallel. Vey often membes wish to use what IIthey have leaned" fo thei own pusuits. N. A. is suppotive of individual gowth (whethe it be in the helping pofessions, the business wold o the ats). Howeve the pogam of Nacotics Anonymous coes not lend itself to pofessional application: it is not to be sole. We feely give what was feely given to us.. Many times N. A. membes ean thei living by woking at ~' hospitals o ecovey homes. Is this violating Tadition Eight? Nacotics Anonymous coes not have the ight to tell individual membes what they mayo may not do to ean thei liying. As long as they co not use thei membeship in Nacotics Anonymous to lue patlents into the facility and theeby use the name of Nacotics Anonymous to make money, and as long as it is clealy the hosp~tal o institution that is IIpofessional ll and not Nacotics Anonymous itself, all will be well. How 00 we eefine an N. A. sevice cente? A sevice cente centes" seve the goups in the aea that suppots them. Thei function is that of a business office; a cental point fo efeal may be at the aea, egional o wold level. These IIsevice of twelve step calls, distibution of public infomation, etc. " Voluntee wok is the backbone of ou sevice, but voluntees wok only to the best of thei abilities. Some of ou sevices equie skills o abilities we ae unable to supply as voluntees. Most of us co not have the taining to fulfill these functions. Ou ~ Eighth Tadition also ecognizes this and tell~ us that we may employ special wokes in ou sevice centes. Without thei help, we might

92 .Page 3 l' 1 e unable to espond to many of those who each out to us fo 2 elp. 3 Sometimes, in "caying the message," many tasks, some 4 killed and some unskilled, need to be done. Some of us offe 5 u sevices to N.A. as committee membes, coffee makes, 6 tc. We donate ou talents to benefit Nacotics Anonymous. 7 f we have the ability to type, o keep tack of funds, o 8 one othe ability that would be useful to the fellowship, 9 e gatefully ty to pay back a little of the debt we f eel 10 e owe N.A. We give only what we ae able. \-;e don't ty to 11 e something we'e not. If no one in ou a ea "has the ability 12 0 type, it may be necessay fo us to hie a typist so wee 13 an keep minutes of ou business meetings. The 8th Tadi t i on 14 eals with the use of paid "pofessional " help in ou sevice 15 entes. In ou infancy, we have used voluntees to staff these 16 evice centes. But as we gow, we will most likely equi e. ~["7 he sevices Qf pofessionals. Answe i ng sevices, t ypists, 18 leical wikes to cayon the administative needs of the 19 ellowship. But seving in the capacity of s ponso, mento o 20 piitual adviso is s tictly a nonpofessional job

93 -.-~~ ~ TRADITION NINE T......,-.. - "N.A., as such, ought neve be oganized; but we may ceate sevice boads o committees diectly esponsible to those they save." The ninth tadition explains how we, as a fellowship, 5 tuctue sevices in ode to nutue ou pogam. What is 6 N.A., as such? lo us that means the ideas and the people. 7 Th,e pogam and those who use the pogam as a means to stop 8 using dugs, lose the desie to use them and find a new way 9 to live. N.A., as such, is the Twelve Steps of N.A. and the 10 people who wok them. The basic unit of N.A. is the membe. 11 The lagest aspect is the goup meeting. The'membe and the 12 goup's meeting of membes should neve be oganized. This 13 is eally quite a logical consideation that coincides with 14 the. basic spiitual pinciple of acceptance that ou lives have ~ 15 become unmanageable. Something vey special happens when an 16 addict woks ou pogam. A spiit, a geate powe, makes.17 the impossible happen: addicts ecove. Individually and to- 18 gethe in goup meetings we shae this mi~acle. Spiitual 19 pinciples and people who live them is N.A., as such "Fo the pupose of this Tadition, oganized means having management and contol." If N.A., as such, was oganized in a copoate sense with 23 an administative stuctue, the people who wee in chage would 24 see themselves as a govening body. N.A. membes would lose the 25 feedom ~make decisions fo themselves. It would stifle gowth 26 and the feeling of usefulness to ouselves and the community. 27 If we wee oganized the esponsibility of ecovey would be ~ 28 lifted. We wouldn't have to make decisions. They would be

94 ~ ~~~ Page 2 1 ade fo us. If this was to happen then we would not be able 2 0 ecove. By having no govening bodies we gain the feedom 3 0 choose in ou ecovey. 4 Any attempt to oganize ecoveing addicts pesonally o 5 togethe would pobably be futile and seems to contadict 6 he fact that we ae poweless ove addict~on. Individually, 7 e suende ou illusion of management and contol of ou 8 ives to the God of ou undestanding. Meeting togethe we 9 spiitually in the guidance of ou fellowship as pat 10 f the goup conscience. In ode to meet togethe egulaly a stuctue. The goup steeing committe, composed of and led by tusted sevants, is the pimay example of diectly esponsible sevice boad o committee. The goup 14 as stuctue. Tusted sevants of the goup do business fo ~ 15.A., as such. Membes ae elected o voluntee to seve. 16 that we entust to lead us ae guided by ou ultimate l~ uthoity though the collective conscience of the goup;s 18 embes. Ou tusted sevants do the business equied by the 19 oup to help N.A. suvive and gow. They pay ent, buy and 20 istibute liteatue and pefom othe duties accoding to 21 he goup's desie to povide a suitable atmosphee of ecovey. 22 ometimes the simplicity of this concept eludes us. 23 Ou taditions ae eally quite simple and clea. We have 24 n one hand "N.A., as such,"--the spiitual pinciples that 25 ake ecovey possible and membe addicts who use those pinciple 26 0 ecove fom addiction. On the othe hand ae N.A. sevices; 27 oads and committees diectl~ esponsible to those they seve, ncludinq the goup offices o steeing committee, Aea Sevice Ilommittee's, Regional Sevice Committee's, the Wold Sevice

95 Page J FFi 1 onfeence, the Wold Sevice Boad, The Wold Sevice Office, a 2 all othe sub-committees, convention committees, etc. This 3 ovides fo us a clea division within which ou pinciples 4 ay emain pue. 5 As a fellowship we must do some business to nutue ou 6 ogam. DOing business fo N.A. is a ea ~ necessity. All of 7 he business we do as sevants entusted with the esponsibility 8 lead is guided by the same pinciple: diect esponsibility 9 the goup conscience. No matte what the scope o size 10 the sevices offeed the same pinciple applies. Ou 11.S.C. does not diffe substantially in spiit "with a business 12 eeting of a goup. The conduct of business tansacted by ou 13. S.C. should not diffe substantially fom the goup enting 14 meeting place and buying, distibuting liteatue and com- W' 15 uiicating concens to goup membes. Ou W. S.B. implements 16 he goup conscience of N.A. fellowship-wide between W. S.C. '17 eetings just- as the goups steeing committee implements goup 18 onscience between goup business meetings_ Tusted sevants 19 ct on the collective decision of the membes; the goup con- 20 cience. The goup is autonomous; the tusted se vant is not 21 nd neithe ae the sevice boads o committees we may ceate. 22 u sevice committees and boa ds diffe in natue and action 23 ccoding to the special needs of those they seve. Sevice 24 oads and committees ae neve autonomous. They may not act 25 n thei own. They must always be diectl y espons i ble. At 26 0 time do they goven us. 27 Ou sevice boads and committees only exist because we 28 eate them to povide sevices accoding to ou needs. Unless u sevice boads and committees ae diectly esponsible they o not in ea U seve N _ A. a.",-.; e no t i n e? pat o f

96 ~ 1 u sevice boads and committees ae diectly esponsible 2 hey do not in eality seve N.A. and ae not in eality pat 3 f ou stuctue. We as a fellowship violate ou fist, second, 4 outh, sixth and ninth taditions by allowing a sevice boad 5 committee to exist that is not diectly esponsible to us. 6 u 5th tadition is theefoe compomised and addicts die who 7 ight have found ecovey. This concept illustates itself 8 ell in ou histoy. ~ ~ 9 Diectly esponsible sevices nutue gowth and unity fo 10 acotics Anonymous. They help us cay ou message. These 11 sevices succeed and flouish. Sevices not diectly espon- 12 sible fail. They contibute to confusion and disunity, seldom 13 achieve thei goals and make good examples of how it doesn't" 14 ok. We as a fellowship may only ceate sevice boads o commit 15 diectly esponsible to us. It is ou spiitual duty to see. 16 to it that all sevice done in the name of N.A., all business '17 conducted fo~ N.A., emains diectly esponsible. Ou lives 18 depend on it

97 ~ ( "i,i." " 1 TRADITION TEN 2 "N.A. has no op1n1on on outside issues; hence the N.A. name ought neve be dawn into public 3 contovesy." Ou common welfae is essential to pesonal ecovey. 4 5 The only authoity is a loving God as expessed in ou goup 6 onscience. No one individual has the authoity to speak fo 7 Ou pesonal opinions eflect ou own expeience. The pinions of Nacotics Anonymous ae stated only in ou tadi tion: nc ae the esult of ou common expeience. What does it mean that N.A. should have no opinion on outide 11 issues? The tadition explains itself:»the N.A. n~me ougt 12 eve be dawn into public contovesy." Thee ae many example~ 13 the potential exists fo ou goups o sevice boads ~nd 14 ommi ttees to be dawn into such contovesy. An e:.cample of C\ow occu would be "the case when an N.A. membe engaged in ublic speaking fo N.A. and then expessed opinions on issues the p~inciples of N.A. and his own addiction. We have se use such a platfom to state thei own views on some "pet ssue with ''lhich they have becon~e involved, and that can be a sou f confusion fo those unfamilia with this tadition. uggeste~ Theefo~, It is that it be claified that no membe of N.A. speaks fo Anonymous. Nacotics Anonymous speaks fo itself. ou expeience suffests that we must sacifice ou; esonal opinions when speaking publicly as N.A. membes anc plac'.a. as a whole befoe them. This is anonymity in action. We do 26 this by expessing no opinions as N.A. membes on outside issues 27 that could be implicated as the opinion of Nacotics Anonymous. 28 has no one peson o goup epesenting the fellowship as a whole

98 ., Page 2 - j'- 1 he goup conscience of the fellowship is ou only voice. Ou 2 oup -conscience is sought only on issues petaining to N. A. 3 To state outight that we as a fellowship have "no opinions 4 n outside issues", leaves little o no doubt whee we stand. 5 uite fankly, we stand aside o sepeate, when political, edu- 6 ational, medical, psychological, social o eligious issues 7 e being discussed. If an N.A. membe wee to make public state' 8 ents on any of these, the fellowship could be catapaulted to fam, 9 of us feel, howeve, this notoiety holds moe potential fo 10 am than fo benefit. 11 It is a faily well accepted fact that addiction is a disease 12 any of us have poblems with ego and pide. Some of us ae not 13 ntiely logical o ational at all times. Imagine how some of { ' 14 s wold eact to the sudden label of "expet" afte yeas of 'bei 15 society's outcasts. Most of ou egos couldn't handle it. It 16 jould contadict the humility we equie fo ecovey. Addicts 1:7 ight end up fighting amongst themselves fo the position of N.A. 18 spokesman and lose sight of the goal of ecoveing and helping th< 19 anothe addict. Fo this eason, the fellowship 'of Nacotics 20 nonymous chooses not to paticipate in contovesy. We don't ca. 21! uselves expets at anything. We claim only the ability to stay 22 Iclean and sobe and help othe addicts to do the same. 23 Ou pimay pupose is to cay the message to the addict who I 24 still suffes, not to seve special inteest goups. By ou vey 25 natue, we ae too divese to have unity and stength on any issu 26 othe than ecovey. Opinions on othe issues seve only to spli. 27 the fellowship, ceate contovesy and oause disunity among ecov, 28 addicts. The suvival of Nacotics Anonymous depends on not jeop a dizing the vey feedom that is ou stength. We have no opinio on outside issu

99 -. '-' -.- Page 3 I i I 1 This tadition seems to deal mostly with those things beyond 2 he scope of ou fellowship. In fact, it potects us fom ousel' 3 If stong pesonalities, whethe acting alone o in unison, took 4 pon themselves to expess pesonal ideas o views at the public 5 in the name of Nacotics Anonymous, it would seveely affect ou 6 unity of pupose. 7 This tadition is vital fo the suvival and gowth of Nacot. 8 Anonymous. The N.A. fellowship must concentate its effots on 9 ecovey fom addiction. That pioity does not leave oom fo 10 discussions o contovesy about any thin othe than ecovey. Ge' 11 and staying clean is the hadest thing most impotant thin'g any 0 12 have eve done. We have to keep "fist things fist." The addic 1 13 ecoveing in the fellowship of Nacotics Anonymous must be fee 14 to go though the pecess of exchanging old ways fo new ways: 15 If we wee tied up in pess confeences and o public haassment 16 addicts would not be able to ecove. Beaking this tadition wou:. 17 evese ou pogess as well as seve the ties that bind. 18' To most of us it has been obvious if we did take any stand on 19 any issue, some people would always disagee with us. Expessing 20 opinions on any of,the heated,emotional and devisive social, polit 21 and eligious issues of ou time would suely alienate some addic 22 ho still suffe. Addiction can happen to anyone. Addiction does 23 ot disciminate. Futhemoe, the gowth of Nacotics Anonymous ~ 24 epends on the eputation we have with the geneal public. We 25 alienate people in the healing pofessions and ~ociety at 26 age who all efe many suffeing addicts to us. 27 The maintenance of unity within ou goups and of Nacotics 28 Anonymous as a whole is a pime function of these taditions. To this end, the maintenance of unity is a life and death matte f

100 Pa g~ 4 i.' 3 onymous as a whole. 4 The violation of this tadition ceates intenaldossemsopm a ~ 5 outside pessue. Contovesy limits ou cedibility ana 6 to futhe ou pimay pupose. T~e spiitual pinciples 7 hich attacted us to a new way of life would be diluted and the 8 may die seeking ecovey "As long as the ties that bind us togethe ae stonge than those that would tea us apat, all will be well." TENTH TRADITION PERSONAL STORY When I was about fou yeas clean, I ecieved a phone call f 15 th~ Distict Attoney of Los Angeles. I had come home fom wok. 16 and my wife said that I had a phone call fom M. fom. 17 the D.A. 's office. I was to etun his call. I ignoed this 18 essage fo a few days. I eceived thee moe calls fom this 19 peson. I stated to woy about the statue of limitations 20 in elation to some of my past cimes. It looked as though 21 I was not going to ignoe this matte any moe. I had a fiend 22 who woked in the legal community. He was an Appellate Cout Jud 23 So I called h'im and explained my situation. My fiend laughed an 24 eminded me that in the past the authoities neve called me when 25 I was wanted fo any cimes. They just came and got me. I laugh 26 too, and so he encouaged me to etun the call. I did. 27 The eason this peson was calling me was that appaently an. 28 Assistant D.A. had made a public statement egading the dange a alcohol as opposed to maijuana. What the D.A. wanted fom me wa '

101 :;i \.., Page 5 j- I 1 y opinion egading maijuana being moe dangeous than alcohol. 2 new that I was an addict/alcoholic and a membe of N.A. He need, 3 epudiation fom some oganization, and he wanted me as a membe! 4.A. and an expet to publicly epudiate the Assistant D.A. 's sta: 5 ent. I explained to him that I could not give him a epudiation 6 membe of N.A. because no one speaks fo N.A. on outside issues, 7 as taditions that goven ou fellowship, and that ou 10th tad~ 8 states that "~.A. has no opinion on outside issues; hence the N.; 9 10 ane ought neve be dawn into public contovesy." hat And based on he had explained to me this fell in that public contov( 11 then asked me fo my pesonal opinion. I again explained to 12 him that my pesonal opinion would have to be silenced fo fea 13 that it could be misconstued as an opinion of N.A. and theefo 14 I wo~ld not be able to help him. Thank God I had some undestandi 15 of the 12 taditions of N.A. o I could have put us ight in the 16 iddle of a ~ublic contovesy." I? "

102 ~ ~ TRADITION ELEVEN Ou public elations policy is based on than pomotion; we nee~ always maintain at the level of pess, acio ano films. Final Fesno FomL attaction athe p~sonal anonymity This Tadition illustates how Nacotics Anonymous can offe ecovey to the suffeing addict though means 0 1 ' attaction. What is it about ou fellowship and its membes that is attactive to the suffeing a~dict? Thee ae many aspects of ou pogam that ae attactive, but most impotantly, we ae living dug-fee lives. Once we ente the doos and ae exposed to clean acdicts something magical takes place~ love, caing an concen of the membes. We ae somehow maoe awae of the We hea anc see things with which we, as a~dicts, can identify. The awaeness geneated though unity and cae ceates a desie fo total abstinence. theeby eveloping self-woth, esteem, eliance anc the desie to become a espectful, contibuting membe of society. Thee is no substitute fo the adage "one addict helping anothe is.without paallel". One of the key emotions that is aouse( by the attaction we often expeience is HOPE!: As we go though life we ae attacte~ by-many things. If they have something to offe us we ae attactec. This is the means by which N. A. attacts its membes. What we have to offe is a clean and sobe way of life anc a fellowship that povices an atomosphee of love anf concen fo all membes. pomoting ou pogam of ecovey? What neec do we have of Membes of Nacotics Anonymous ae living beathing examples of ecovey fom adiction. In effect, this tadition insues publicly the spiitual concition o~ ou fellowship. will show. In ou dealings with the public, ou spiitual conition Pomotion of N. A. would take away the apiitual aspects of the pogam. Pomotion is pessue. It is the gloification of

103 ~ \., w ~ - ) a pouct. It announces only featues of a pogam, not the spiit of it. Pomotion is pushing, getting something acoss egadless of the pice in tems of human dignity o spiitual values. Pomoting often is an end in itself, anc its use in NA usually eflects self-gloification. We shoulf neve misepesent what we offe even if by doing so we might be able to get a few moe a" dicts to attend ou meetings. It is easy to. make pomises. We can tell an adict that we offe all kinds of things othe than ecovey. Acdicts would flock to ou doos; they would come fo a fee meal, housing, money, a job. a love o any kind of fee ife. But how many would have a desie to stop using, and how many would lee as soon as they foun out we coulu'nt keep ou pomise? How many woul ' neve come back? How many would die wi thout eve having a chance to fin' ecovey? Pomotion is epesenting ouselves as' somethiqg we ae not. In oee to accomplish something we want, we lon't use pomotion to encouage addicts to come to us, anc we con't use pomotions to make ouselves moe acceptable. Ou successes speak fo themsel.ves. Taiition Eleven illustates that we as, fellowship have and will continue to have a elationship with society. 'If we ae to cay the message anf.a pecious one at that, this elationship must be maintained in a sane anc.loving fashion. Pehaps in no othe aea does the need fo anonymity become so cucial. The message can be caied in many ways. If we ae to each the addict who still suffes we must make ou pesence known to the geneal public. To boacen the scope of those we each, amny goups have tune to the use of vaious media (adio, pess, television). Such media inteface with the geneal public an can each a lage segment of society. This is best one with a quiet fignity - offeing the hope of a ug-fee,

104 life. The use of "glitte" is best avoic:ed. At the level of pess, adio an films, the NA Public!nfomat io! Committee o tustees should be consu lt e~ as to who a n how the message shoul be c aie ~. This potects the fellowship a n the peson chosen to give the message. This peson shoulf have knowle ~ ge anc expeience applying the Taitions. theeby eliminating embaassment an etaction of statements mae by well~meaning individuals. fo and about Nacotics Anonymous. Thee is no nee~ to ecuit new membes, but in o e to let the community know that NA exis ts and that help is available. thee must be some meia exposue. Th ee is a public elations pamphl et avai lable as to how to accomplish this task. The maintenance of anonymity seves a two-fol~ function. It, w potects the individual membe fom the pessue o temptation to speak fo, NA as whole. It also potects the fe :':"owship as a whole fom being juged by the wos o actions of a ecoveing individual. Acdicts might se'ek fame just so they coul see thei name i n the pape. It waul( be vey damaging if a membe' boke anonymt ty and then elapsed anc wod got out that this peso~ went to NA and didn ' t stay clean. People might assume the pogam doesn't- wok. Beaking a'"0nymi ty is asking fo touble. -he last th i ng,., acdict needs is a spotlight on his life. We come to this pogam and lean t hat we ae not the cente of the univese. We come to NA to ecove and, cay the message that ecovey is possible ; anything else can only etact fom what we have to offe. If we can help an addict stop using and find a new way of life we will all benefit.... Pesonal anonymity is a point of feeom, an pesonal ecovey., No membe of NA shoul: eve place themse 1 ves i n a pos it ion whe e

105 they have to make a statement fo NA as a who l e. No one membe is NA an no one membe can speak fo us We have no el i te class no special membes. Each of us has ou own stoy. anf ou own ecovey. Inclividual ly. we ae poweless but as a Fe l l owship we can achieve geat things.

106 TRADITION TWELVE "Anonymi ty is the spiitual foundation of all ou Taditions eve eminding us to place pinciples befoe pesonalities". Anonymity is the whole basis of the pogam; it is tuly the fauncation. In o de to suvive, we must set aside the diffeences we live by an~ become a pat of a geate whole. The TWelve Tacitions of Nacotics Anonymous compliment each othe an' ae boun t ogethe by the pinciple of anonymity. What is anonymity? The p inciple of anonymity is based in humility. The awakening of anonymity in each of us occus when we finally give up tying to manage ou lives, and begin,to depend on a powe geate than ouselves. Anonymity tells us to listen to the message. not the messenge. It is an oppotunity to give without ecognition. All of us have egos and it's nomal to seek ou "stokes" fo a job well ('one., Howeve, most of us got hee be cause we hac poblems ~ith ou egos ano constant paise and ecognition do nothing fo humility, which we seek and equie fo ou vey existence. In ecovey, we have found that humility is a spiitual tool to be nouishec and cheished. We have expeienced geat pesonal ewad in giving of ousel ves without need of. expectations of ecogniti on. Anonymity is the p inciple wheeby we become willing to place ou egos ani pe sonal ities seconday to both ecovey and goup unity. Th i s pinciple helps us to set ou pioities an~ view ecovey in its pope pespective. Anonymity within the Fellowship i s impotant. Gossip and ci ticism of ou fellow acdicts destoys the unity of ou Fellowship. Have you eve been told a fel low a~dict had elapsed, only to finc the~ still ~ lean? O wose yet, have you eve sat down fo coffee afte a meeting

107 (2) FFF only to hea a fellow acdict's inventoy being taken fo them? N. A. is a Fellwoship Of ecoveing addicts. We ae all gowing ano we all ~ave chaacte f efects. Acceptance of ou fellow addicts, including t hei chaact e ~ efects. is love. As ecoveing acdicts we need an atomosphee of love anc suppot to gow in. Membes, especially newcomes, need to feel safe within ou Fellowship. An atomosphee of t ust allows the membe to openly shae. We can hel p each othe by ke e ping what is sh ae~ in a goup, o,:n a one-to - one basis to ouself. I n this pogam of change. a elesie fo 'ecovey helps us keep pincipl es befoe pesonalities. The pinciple of anonymity is a key to undestanding the meaning of the 12th 'I'a(lition and how it i.3 the foundation 01 nil ou' ' l ' t'a ( lition~,. The Fis t Tadition talks about common welfae and N. A. uni ty. The placing of common welfae befoe pesonal welfae in the goup setting is a diect application of anonymity. We suende ou own self-will ~d place the welfae of Nacotics Anonymous fist. because ou lives depend on it. The Se conf Ta0ition talks about having but one ultimate authoity. No single pe son (no pesonality) has authoity. This is veste<, i n a loving God to whom we have tuned ove ou will and l ives. The anonymity of the sevant shoulcl be typical of ou leades. They themselves ae not impotant; it is only the sevice which counts. The Thid Tadition is a statement of anonymity. We <'0 not <'efine ou membes. We only insist that they have a 0esie to stop using. Nothing else shoulf matte. This ~esie is the one cucial must of ou pogam. We must eithe co me with it o evelop it befoe this pogam will wok fo us.... Anonymity makes possible the autonomy of ou Fouth Taci t ion. Without the pinciple of anonymity, each goup woule set itself up a s some thing iffe ent fom t he est--- something special. Ou goups

108 (3 ) waul(, begin competing wi th each othe fo membes a nd fo ecogni tion. The esulting loss of unity would eventually destoy N.A. Ou Fifth Tadition says that each goup has but one pimay pupose. This unity of pupose is the tie that bins ou goups togethe. a,u goups ae not tuly diffeent; each has the same spii t.ual a im. This anonymity. am-l the anonymity of the goups I makes it possible fo an acdict to depend on us fo help. Tac'ition Six tells us that we ought neve finance, encose. o lend the N.A. name to any facility o outsi~e entepise. To violate this Tadition would be lose ou anonymity. With anonymity gone, pesonalities woul d take ove and poblems of money, popety an pestige woul suely (livet us fom ou pimay pupose. Ou Sev~nth Tadition guaantees each membe the ight and pivilege.. to shae in ' t he financial suppot of Nacotics Anonymous. Each of us is given the equal oppotunity to help anonymously. We unifomly ejc t ~ntibutions ega~ l e5 s of thei souce so that the f eec om and integity of ou goups is ma i ntained. We also ~o not allow a membe to contibute mo e, than his fai shae; to (0 so would be to encouage the loss,of thei anonymity. In ' egafs to ' ou Eighth Tadition, we do not single out ou membes as "pofessionals"; we ty to maintain thei chance to expeience pesonal ecovey and gowth. Not focing powe anc st2tus on ou membes is yet anothe fom of anonymity. The sevice boas and committees ma~e possible by ou Ninth a-i tion a e diectly esponsible to the goups anc' the membes. They 3. e noi, esponsibl e to any paticula peson.

109 ., (4). The Tenth Tafition, limi ts the gowth of poweful pesonalities nd safegua's anonymity by having no opini.on on outs ide is~ues. When L,l.tovesy exists, people take sies. pesonalities come fowad. and ~ S this happens. anonymity facjes. Hee" again we fine consistency of ' inciples in action. and in its own way this is also anonymity. In ou Eleventh TaC"ition. we fin~ that the way we elate to society.n geneal is by pacticing pesonal anonymity. None of us ae singled Jut, no one of us epesents N. A to co so would be to place ou pesonalities ahea~ of the welfae o f thea and this woul~ be a violation )f ou anonymity. In att~ction athe than pomotion. we give the, ; dict the ight to join in ou anonymi ty an" finc' ecovey. Anonymity is eveywhee in ou Ta~it ions and in ou Fellowship. :t is one -of the basics of' ecovey. The pinciple of anonymi ty ~ otects us fom ou de fe"c ts of pesonality and chaacte. Whee lnonymity exists, pesonalities an~. diffeences have no powe...~.... f '.