Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

Transcription

1 Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. Suggested Reading Assignment: Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) - Into Action, page Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions - Step 10 Big Book, page 84 This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code. There is a LOT of information in that simple paragraph. Let s look at it again, this time in practical terms, asking What action does this idea require? We have entered the world of the Spirit - What does that mean? In taking the first 9 steps we have gained at least some experience with the spiritual solution that the steps provide. Entering into the world of the spirit is simply admitting that there is a spiritual solution to my problem that can be found through the steps and nowhere else. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. Understanding of what? Effectiveness at what? Understanding of the steps and effectiveness in executing them so we can stay connected to a higher power and, ultimately, understanding of our Higher Power s will for us effectiveness at carrying it out. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. This means developing a daily inventory practice. Nothing is to inconsequential to run through the columns! Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. We do this through the inventory process we learned in Step 4. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We have already asked our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings (defects of character) in Step 7. We continue to humbly ask for their removal as each new inventory reveals them. We discuss them with someone immediately This is Step 5. We now have experience with the benefits of going over our inventory with our sponsor. It s important to keep this process going with any new inventory work that we do. With time we begin to be able to trust our own judgement, but during the first few years of sobriety it s a good idea to talk to a sponsor or someone in recovery who we trust.

2 And make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. This is Steps 8 & 9. Once again, we have first-hand experience with the amends process. We gained it in Steps 8 & 9. We should also have experience with the freedom that making amends provide us with. Making amends for new wrongs as they happen is crucial to staying connected to a Higher Power, Staying sober and having self-esteem. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code. This is a vital part of Step 10. I can do the inventory, talk to my sponsor about it and make any amends that are necessary, but if I don t turn my thoughts and actions towards service I may not grow enough spiritually to actually change my behavior the next time this situation arises. Part 1 - Continued to take personal inventory We learned the mechanics of the inventory in 4 & 5th steps. The point of the inventory is to get to column 5 the exact nature of my wrongs. Using these, I can go into Step 6 and get a vision of their opposites. Unselfish instead of Selfish Honest instead of Dishonest God-seeking instead of Self-seeking Courageous instead of Frightened Considerate instead of Inconsiderate Realistic instead of Unrealistic

3 This is how I become entirely ready for my Higher Power to remove my defects. What would it look like if I were to be the opposite of the character defects I just exhibited in this specific situation? Once I have a written out a clear idea of just what it would look like I can go into Step 7 and ask my Higher Power to help me be that person next time. Just filling out the columns isn't enough Big Book, page 72 In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Sometimes the truth is SO obvious we can move on with what God would have us do without consulting someone else - the goal is to rely on God's power and direction But sometimes, especially when the resentment returns after we have already inventoried it, we have to talk to another alcoholic about it. Big Book, page 84 We discuss them with someone immediately. Not everyone endlessly. Part 2 And when we were wrong, promptly admitted it Steps 8 & 9 make amends if necessary. Step 12 Turn my thoughts to someone I can help service is the key! The "END OF THE DAY 10th STEP idea... The end of the day review is Step 11 If I wait until the end of the day I can get very spiritually unfit: Big Book, page 66 "...It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile. Big Book, page 87 As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. This usually includes inventory. Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions, p The emphasis on inventory is heavy only because a great many of us have never really acquired the habit of accurate self-appraisal. Once this healthy practice has been groomed, it will be so interesting and profitable that the time it takes won't be missed. For these minutes and sometimes hours spent in self-examination are bound to make all the other hours of our day better and happier. And at length our inventories become a regular part of everyday living, rather than unusual or set apart. Spot check inventory

4 What that looks like: The 3-Breath Practice Stopping several times a day just to breath. Once I have taken several deep breaths, I can become present and then check to see how I am doing. Am I conscious of my connection to God, or am I running on self-will? How does my BODY feel? Are my thoughts clear or are they racing? Am I harboring a resentment from earlier in the day? This is intentionally, consciously reconnecting several times throughout the day. 95% of life happens over and over again and I need to learn how to be good at it. This process is how I get better at meeting life on life s terms. Building a daily practice So the first question is, When do I begin to take Step Ten? The answer to that is, We commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We began to clean up the past when we made our first amends. As soon as we begin the process of making amends we need to start making Step 10 a part of our daily practice. My actions are my beliefs Do I believe in this process or not? Do I fully understand the consequences of the 1st step? 10 th Step Promises Big Book, page 84 And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will. Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent we have become God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense.

5 Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Suggested Reading Assignment: Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) - Into Action, page Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions - Step 11 Big Book, page 85 Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it. It would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions. Prayer noun A solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or Higher Power. "I'll say a prayer for him An earnest hope or wish. "It is our prayer that the current progress on human rights will be sustained" Prayer is not optional With the right attitude and a little work, you can find a way to make prayer personal to you. If we can set aside our ideas and prejudices about prayer, we can find a way to make it personal and practical. Making prayer personal There are many ways to pray. Find something that speaks to you. It should be personal and meaningful. If you are Agnostic or Atheist: There are many ways take a prayer-like action that do not include praying to or believing in God. Even if you don t participate in organized religion and don t want to pray to God, secular spirituality can still exist in your life and the power of prayer should not be ignored. Many people find prayer helpful and fulfilling regardless of their beliefs about the existence of God. An Agnostic or Atheist Approach to Prayer - Setting Intention You can organizing your thoughts and speaki them to the universe, making your intention concrete through action. You do not have to believe that anyone or anything is listening. Just the act of doing it helps focus the mind. Even if You Believe in God You Need to Make Prayer Personal You may have been saying the same prayers your whole life. You may want to find new prayers so that you aren t just going through the motions, or you can print out your favorite prayers and actually read them off of the page, thinking about what the words mean to you at this point in your spiritual journey.

6 Prayer is not just a box to check. We need to make it personal and practical for our beliefs, regardless of what they are. Meditation The 11th Step says prayer AND meditation, not prayer OR meditation. What are your ideas about meditation? Are they helpful or do they stop you from trying to meditate? There are many types of meditation. Go online and do some research to find one that seems like it will work for you. There are many types of meditation. Eastern, Western, Mindfulness, Walking Meditation Find one that speaks to you and is practical given where you are today. Something you can make a part of your daily practice Some Different Approaches to Meditation Walking or other Repetitive Motion Exercises Walking the Labyrinth Mindfulness Guided Visualization Square Breath Meditation Simple Mantra Meditation Do some research and find a type that appeals to you and seems practical to make a part of your daily practice. 11 th Step Daily Practice On awakening Big Book, Page 86 On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. Creating a Regular Morning Practice: Ask yourself What is my morning routine? What do I do every day without fail? How can I make prayer and meditation a part of my morning routine? Do I need to get up earlier to create the time? What does a daily On Awakening practice consist of? 1. Start by say a prayer, asking my Higher Power to direct my thinking. 2. Consider your plans for the day.

7 What am I actually doing today? What would it look like to bring God into each of the things on my schedule? Do any of my plans cause me fear, agitation or doubt when I consider them? If so, I can do some inventory so that I can get a clear vision of God s will. That way, when the time comes for the troubling activity I will already know what it looks like to be a man of faith and I can pause before I start it and ask God for the power to be that man. 3. Meditate, using whatever form or approach best suits you Big Book, Page 86 We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work. You can easily see why. Nightly Review Big Book, page 86 When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. The nightly review is a meditation practice. It does not necessarily require writing. If you find benefit by doing it in writing, then by all means do the writing, but if you struggle with developing a consistent daily practice you may need to find a more practical approach. It is important to review my experiences so that I can use them to build on tomorrow. 12 Step Recovery is based on first-hand experience with the effects of a Higher Power in my life, but if I don t review those experiences on a daily basis it will be harder for me to use them to help me grow spiritually tomorrow. If I review my success I am much more likely to repeat them tomorrow, and I I review my mistakes I am much less likely to make the same ones tomorrow. The Danger in doing a Nightly Review When the Big Book says But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection it s not kidding! At the end of the day I am tired. When I m tired I am inherently a little spiritually diminished. Since my thinking is based on my spiritual condition it is very easy to only see the negative things. I must review my successes as well as my setbacks if I am to grow.

8 Four simple nightly review meditation questions: 1. Where did I trust God and take the right action without even having to try? This is usually small things like making my bed and being friendly to my coworkers. Things that seem small, but that I never did well before I was connected to a higher power. 2. Where did I face indecision and not know what the right thing to do was, and did I pause and look for an intuitive thought in the situation? How did that go? Did I pause and ask God to show me what he would have me be and do in a new, confusing situation, and if so, what was my experience with doing that. 3. Where did I not realize that I wasn t doing the right thing until I made a mess, and did I do the step work and clean up the mess? I often make mistakes (these days they are usually small ones). When I realized that I had taken an action that turned out not to be in line with what God would have me be, did I apply the steps and principals of the program to correct my mistake and make any necessary amends? 4. Where did I know the right thing to do and CHOOSE not to do it, and how did that work for me? I need to review the effects, both external and internal, that taking a knowingly wrong action had on my day and my spiritual condition. Examining my experiences helps me to better understand what is working and what isn t. This examination reinforces my experiences, so I am more likely to do what works and stop doing the things that don t. If I discover that something from earlier in the day is still bothering me (whether I have already inventoried it already or not), I make a commitment to put pen to paper and call someone to go over the inventory in the morning. When I do these things and I own my actions for the day, good bad or otherwise, I sleep better and don t wake up with racing thoughts. 11 th Step Promises Big Book, page 87 What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it. The Importance of Consistency By being consistent with my 11 th Step we keep new resentments from disconnecting us spiritually. If we look at each new fear as it arises we are better able to face and grow through them. Prayer and meditation help us maintain and grow our conscious contact with our Higher Power. The more consistently we do this, the more we grow and the better we keep up with the demands of a big life in sobriety.