KIWANIS CLUB OF NORTH OLMSTED Chartered July 21, 1930 Meets Monday Evening at 6:30 P.M. North Olmsted Party Center Lorain Rd.

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1 KIWANIS CLUB OF NORTH OLMSTED Chartered July 21, 1930 Meets Monday Evening at 6:30 P.M. North Olmsted Party Center Lorain Rd. Club Officers President Linda Cleary (440) Imm. Past President David Dillon (440) President Elect Open Vice President John J. Kiley, Jr. (440) Treasurer Donald J. Machovina (440) Secretary Kenneth N. Neuzil (440) Directors Mary Biss (440) Charlotte Kiley (440) Glenn R. Knight (440) Dr. Frank Miller, III (440) Amber Pierce (440) Gretchen L. Schuler (440) NEWS APRIL 2015 MONDAY MEETINGS April 6 Jen Kantorak, Dietician April 13 Board Meeting and Food Pantry Collection April 20 Todd Musial and the Biddulph House Restoration April 27 Scholarship Foundation LETTER SPECIAL DATES April 1 Lenten Rocky River Community 7:00 a.m. April 16 Key 7:30 April 16 Division 14 Porter 7:00 p.m. North Olmsted hosts April 23 North Olmsted Community Council Citizen of the Year (COTY) N.O. Party Center Kahlua with Tom Gray OTHER NEWS AND VIEWS The North Olmsted Kiwanis Club was delighted to have Kahlua as our guest on March 2 nd. Kahlua weighs in at about 130 pounds and has a 40 inch chest. He is a wellbehaved Alaskan Malamute who visits local hospitals and nursing homes as a therapist. Members of the club observed first hand his gentle nature. He and his sister, Keanu, are North Olmsted residents who share the house with three cats. Kahlua was kind enough to bring along his support team of Tom and Patty Gray. Thanks to all three for making the evening a special one. President Linda Cleary was able to bring in North Olmsted s Chief of Police, Jamie Gallagher, for our March 9 th meeting. Chief Gallagher made a very good presentation, the basic theme of which was: We re here to serve the community. Please call us if you think there might be a problem. Too often, residents think that they don t really want to bother the police department, but that is exactly why we have a police force. It s always better to call and be sure, rather than not call and worry. Thank you Chief Gallagher. (Continued on page 2) Police Chief Jamie Gallagher & President Linda

2 Our monthly Board Meeting was held on March 16 th. Minutes of that meeting have been sent to members under a separate cover. We collected $54 for the North Olmsted Oxcart Food Pantry at that meeting. April Fool s Day came early for seven of our members on March 19 th when they showed up at NOHS for a Key Club meeting, only to be told that it had been canceled due to testing. Oh, well, we still went to breakfast at Canary s anyhow. Later that evening, five members attended the Division 14 meeting held at Porter Library. In attendance were Linda Cleary, Ken Neuzil, Dave Dillon, Gene Shook, and Glenn Knight. In addition to all the local Kiwanis pancake breakfasts, the Ohio District is kicking off a shoe drive (every pun intended). Members are asked to bring in old shoes, which will be refurbished and distributed to those in need, both in this country and overseas. These shoes will be gathered at the annual District Convention in August. The next Division 14 meeting will be held on April 16 th with North Olmsted opening the meeting and providing the snacks. Kiwanis and Key Club members worked together on Friday March 20 th at the Fish Fry held at Springvale. Our Key Club advisers, Laura Thogmartin and Lisa Mr. Lindsay Ferguson of the Metro-West Kiwanis Club spoke at our March 23 rd meeting in regard to the Cleveland Seaman s Service. This volunteer organization was founded in 1964 with the mission of providing visiting merchant seaman with a positive vision of Cleveland by providing services they might need. These services might include religious needs, help in finding merchandise, internet connection, and even political asylum. Thank you Mr. Ferguson for an enlightening talk. On Saturday March 26th the North Olmsted Kiwanis Club hosted the seventh annual Cornhole Tournament at St. Clarence. All possible slots were filled with 32 teams registering. Many members The Players at work of Keeping score - (Thanks Melissa) A lot of eating all evening The Winners Rosenburg, and a large number of Key Clubbers were absolutely essential in making the evening a success. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Kiwanis members working that evening included: Stan Ball, Mary Biss, Vera and Mike Brewer, Linda Cleary, Melissa Clere, John and Charlotte Kiley, Tom Herbster, Jim Hoover, Glenn Knight, Dewey and Duane Limpert, Don Machovina, Dave and Kathy McCollum, Frank Miller, George Prok, Barb S-C-H-I-R-H-A-R-T, Laurette Tully and Lou Simonyi, Bob Wendt, Jim Yager, and Dave Dillon. Lindsay Ferguson & President Linda the club volunteered and helped out that evening, but a few deserve an extra pat on the back. First and foremost, Gretchen Schuler (she asked not to be referred to as Queen Gretchen anymore. Go figure!), Melissa Clere (Bracket Master), Amber Pierce (the Maven of Free Food Donations), Tom Herbster, George Prok, and Barb Schirhart (the Dispensers of the Delicious), Vera and Mike Brewer (the Masters of Liquid Satisfaction), Rose Serraglio and Charlotte Kiley (the Masters of the Door Prizes), and Dave Dillon (better known as The Trashman). At our final meeting in March, we heard from Robert R. Ebert, professor emeritus of economics at Baldwin- Wallace University. Bob is one of those Renaissance people; he has written books on vintage cars, he is an avid collector of mechanical music makers, is on the Board of Trustees of Fairview Hospital, and is Secretary of the Board of the Lorain County Historical Society. I came to know him simply as Bob, the guy I work out with at the Rec Center in Berea. He spoke to the club (Page 2) (Continued on page 3) Robert Ebert & President Linda

3 (Continued from page 2) about the history of automobile manufacturing in Lorain County, going back to the Garford, the Willys, and the modern Ford assembly plant in Avon Lake. Thank you Bob for your entertaining and informative talk. WORK AND INVOCATION SCHEDULE Date Serving Invocation 4/6 Rose Serraglio John Biss Jack Boss 4/13 John Biss Mary Biss Mary Biss 4/20 Merle Smith Linda Cleary John Kiley 4/27 Larry Krejci Bob Wendt Ken Neuzil BIRTHDAYS April Vera Brewer April Frank Miller III April Clark Peck April David Smith April Jim Yager ANNIVERSARIES April Walt and Rae Spalding April Dan and Christine Vento April Howard and Chris Luke April Laurette Tully and Louis Simonyi April George and Joan Prok AND FINALLY April Fool s Funny Quotes When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.--bob Monkhouse I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.--elayne Boosler The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.- -Mark Russell First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.--steve Martin A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.--lana Turner My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I ve finished (Page 3) two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.--dave Barry Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.--anonymous Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.--miles Kington By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you ll become a philosopher.--socrates I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. --Emo Philips The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.--al McGuire Going to church doesn t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.-- Billy Sunday If at first you don t succeed... so much for skydiving.--henny Youngman Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.--dave Barry If you think nobody cares if you re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.--flip Wilson My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of -a-bitch.--jack Nicholson Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.--oscar Wilde I couldn t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.--steven Wright I couldn t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.--steven Wright By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he s wrong.--charles Wadsworth We ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.--robert Wilensky Why didn t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?-- Anonymous I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.--anonymous When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren t smart enough to get out of jury duty.--norm Crosby When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.-- Anonymous It s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?--ronald Reagan The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you re hungry again.--george Miller

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5 APRIL 2015 Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Mar 2015 S M T W T F S KIWANIS CLUB OF NORTH OLMSTED May 2015 S M T W T F S April Fool's Day Lenten Breakfast R.R. Civic Center - 7:00 2 Radar Patented (1935) 3 Vera Brewer Party Center - Jen Kantorak, Dietician Walt & Rae Spalding 7 Frank Miler, III Matches Invented (1827) 8 9 Dan & Chris Vento 10 Clark Peck Safety Pin Patented (1849) 11 Howard & Chris Luke Party Center - Board Meeting Thomas Jefferson ( ) 14 Laurette Tully & Lou Simonyi 15 Bottle Opener Invented (1738) 16 Div. Council Meeting - Porter Library 7:00 PM Key 7:30 AM Party Center - Todd Musial & the Biddulph House Restoration Radium Discovered 21 Dave Smith 22 Jim Yager 23 James Buchanan ( ) N.O. Community Council COTY N.O. Party Center George & Joan Prok Integrated Circuit Patented (1961) Party Center - Scholarship Foundation 28 James Monroe ( ) Ulysses S. Grant ( )