50 Shades of Talmud: Part II

Transcription

1 50 Shades of Talmud: Part II Source Sheet by Rabbi Reuven Ibragimov בס"ד 1. Talmud Kiddushin (end of Tractate ) R. Chizkiyah the son of R. Cohen said in the name of Rav: On the Day of Judgment, a person will be required to give an accounting for all [permissible enjoyments] that his eyes beheld and he did not partake of. Korban HaEidah: because he sinned against his soul in that he afflicted it for no reason [by withholding these delights]. א. 2. S. R. Hirsch, Collected Writings, vol. 2, p.330 The laws regulating sexual life and the partaking of food guide man already from his earliest stage of development. These Divine laws stand guard at the bridge which joins the material with the spiritual, man's organic physical being with his Divine freedom. The eternal mystery of combining such opposites and their continued integrity is guarded by these precepts. Fulfilling these laws with thoughts and feelings of purity, freedom and holiness, ennobles those daily activities which often threaten to degenerate into vulgarity, indecency and spiritual moral death. ב. 3. Zohar, Vayishlach 176a Wherever intimacy as a mitzvah is found there the Shechina dwells. Ramban, based on Tractate Sotah 17a When a man unites with his wife In holiness ihe Shechinah dwells among them. Ramban When the union takes place for the sake of heaven, then there is nothing holier or purer. Shloh, Shaar HaOtiyot, at the letter kuf Know, my children, that there is no holiness of all the types of holiness comparable to the holiness of marital intimacy if a person sanctifies himself in intercourse m accordance with the instructions of our Sages. ג. 4. Talmud Chuhlin 109 Yalta said to her husband R. Nachman: For all that the Torah forbade, it permitted something comparable: It forbade consuming animal blood, but it permitted the liver;... it forbade marrying a brother's ex wife, but it permitted the levlritical marriage; it forbade a nonjewish woman, but it permitted the YJaht To'ar. I want to taste the taste of meat and milk. ד.

2 5. Talmud Ketubot 62b R. Rechumi, who was learning at Rava's yeshivah in Mechoza, used to return home every Erev Yom Kippur. Once, he was so involved in his learning that he forgot to return home. His wife was expecting him, saying, "He is coming soon, he is coming soon." As he did not arrive she became so depressed that tears began to flow from her eyes. R. Rechumi was at that moment sitting on a roof. The roof collapsed under him and he was killed. ה. 6. Iggeret ha Kodesh, 13 Neither sexual organs nor sexual intercourse are obscene, for how could God create something that contains an obscenity? God created man and woman, and all their organs and functions, with nothing obscene in them. We believe that God created nothing containing either ugliness or obscenity. ו. 7. Sefer Mor v Ketziyah Sexual intercourse is an action that is important, good and valuable to the soul also, and there is no act of flesh and blood that compares with it if it is done with pure intention and a pure, clean mind, then it is called holy. ז. 8. Deuteronomy 24:5 דברים כ ד:ה (ה) כּ י י קּ ח א ישׁ א שּׁ ה ח ד שׁ ה א י צ א (5) When a man has taken a bride, he shall not go out with the army or be בּ צּ ב א ו א י ע ב ר ע ל יו ל כ ל דּ ב ר נ ק י assigned to it for any purpose; he shall י ה י ה ל ב יתוֹ שׁ נ ה א ח ת ו שׂ מּ ח א ת א שׁ תּ וֹ be exempt one year for the sake of his household, to give happiness to the א שׁ ר ל ק ח (ס) woman he has married. ח. Onkelos Deuteronomy 24:5 "to give happiness" sex not for purpose of procreation but rather for pleasure. 9. Mishneh Torah, Sabbath 30:14 Sexual relations are considered a dimension of Sabbath pleasure. Therefore Torah scholars fulfill their marital obligations once a week, on the Shabbat. ט. 10. Talmud, Eruvin 100b A man is forbidden to compel his wife to have marital relations Rabbi Joshua ben Levi similarly stated: Whosoever compels his wife to have marital relations will have unworthy children. י. 11. Mishnah Ketubot 5 (6) Students who leave for the purpose of studying Torah without the consent of their wives [have] thirty days; laborers, one week. [The law of providing sexual] pleasure [to one's wife] that is stated in the Torah [is as follows]: one at leisure, daily; laborers, twice a week; donkey drivers, once a week; camel יא.

3 drivers, once every thirty days; navigators every six months; these are the words of Rabbi Eliezer. 12. Ramban, Iggeret Hakodesh, 13th Century When you and your wife are engaged in sexual union do not behave lightheartedly and regard this act as vain, idle, improper. Therefore, first introduce her into the mood with gentle words that excite her emotion, appease her mind and delight her with joy. Thus you unite your mind and intention with hers. Say to her words which in part arouse in her passion, closeness, love, will, and erotic desire, and in part evoke in her reverence for God, piety and modesty...never impose yourself upon her nor force her. For any sexual union without an abundance of passion, love and will, is without the Divine Presence. Do not quarrel with her nor act violently whenever coitus is involved. The Talmud says, "A lion ravishes and then eats and has no shame. So acts the brute: He hits and then cohabits and has no shame." Rather, court and attract her to you first with gracious and seductive, as well as refined and gentle words, so that both your intentions be for the sake of God...Do not hurry in arousing passion. Prolong till she is ready and in a passionate mood. Approach her lovintly and passionately, so that she reaches her orgasm first. יב. 13. Ketubot 48a Rav Yosef taught There must be close bodily contact during sex, unlike the custom of the Persians who preform their marital duties in clothes. This supports the ruling of Rav Huna. As Rav Huna said: A husband who says, "I will not perform [my marital duties] unless I wear my clothes and she wears hers, must [divorce her] and giver her the ketubah [settlement]. יג. 14. Gittin 70a Eight actions are difficult for the body and the soul to handle in large amounts and are beneficial in small amounts, and they are: Traveling on the road, engaging in the way of the world, i.e., engaging in sexual intercourse, having wealth, work, drinking wine, sleep, hot water, and bloodletting. Three things enfeeble a man s body, namely, to eat standing, to drink standing, and to have marital intercourse in a standing position. Babylonian Talmud, Gittin 70a 15. Talmud Nedarim 20b The Gemara relates: A certain woman, who came before Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi to complain about her husband, said to him: My teacher, I set him a table, using a euphemism to say that she lay before him during intimacy, and he turned it over. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said to her: My daughter, the Torah permitted him to engage in sexual intercourse with you even in an atypical manner, and what can I do for you if he does so? Similarly, a certain woman who came before Rav said to him: My teacher, I set a table for him and he turned it over. He said to her: In what way is this case different from a fish [binnita] that one may eat any way he wishes? טו.

4 16. R' Moshe Feinstein Even Ha'Ezer 63 When the Ri speaks of "motzi zera l'vatalah" wasting seed, this is referring to a true waste of seed where there is absolutely no need for that seed to have been spilled. However, it is permitted to spill seed outside of the woman for the fulfillment of the mitzvah of Onah and in order to cause his wife to be joyous/ fulfilled (because then it's not l'vatalah, but rather for a purpose)! Because when it comes to the matter of relations between a man and his wife, the Torah permitted a man to do that which his heart desires which is shelo k'darkah because he considers it his need and it is not considered l'vatalah and in fact it is completely permitted. The reason it is only permitted sometimes (and not always), is because it will not always be a need or desire as oftentimes he will be satisfied from the k'darkah intimacy. טז. 17. Nedarim 20b are your children so beautiful? She said to them: My husband does not converse with me while engaging in sexual intercourse, neither at the beginning of the night nor at the end of the night, but rather at midnight. And when he converses with me while engaging in sexual intercourse, he reveals a handbreadth of my body and covers a handbreadth, and he covers himself up as though he were being coerced by a demon and is covering himself out of fear. And I said to my husband: What is the reason for this behavior? And he said to me: It is so that I will not set my eyes on another woman, i.e., think about another woman; if a man thinks about another woman during sexual intercourse with his wife, his children consequently come close to receiving a mamzer status, i.e., the nature of their souls is tantamount to that of a mamzer. Therefore I engage in sexual intercourse with you at an hour when there are no people in the street, and in this manner. In any event, it can be seen from her words that a Sage conversed with his wife while engaging in sexual intercourse with her. The Gemara answers: This is not difficult. This permission to converse with her is with regard to matters of sexual intercourse, whereas that restriction of conversation is with regard to other matters that are not related to sexual intercourse. 18. Rambam Mishnah Torah Issurei Biah 21:9 Since a man s wife is permitted to him, he may act with her in any manner whatsoever. He may have intercourse with her whenever he so desires and kiss any organ of her body he wishes, and he may have intercourse with her naturally or unnaturally, provided that he does not expend semen to no purpose. Nevertheless, it is a sign of piety not to show too much levity but to sanctify himself at the time of intercourse. יח. 19. Rambam's commentary of Mishnah Sanhedrin 7:3 The intent of sexual relations is the preservation of the species and not only pleasure. The aspect of pleasure was introduced only to motivate the created beings toward that ultimate goal...the proof of this is that desire and pleasure cease after ejaculation; this was the entire goal for which our instincts were aroused. If the goal were pleasure, satisfaction would continue as long as man desired. יט.

5 20. Bamidbar Rabbah 9:34 Our master taught: If a wife is alone with her husband and is engaged in intercourse with him, while her heart is with another man who she met on the road, no act of adultery is greater, for it is said, "The wife that commits adultery, takes strangers while under her husband" (Ezekiel 16:32). But how can a wife who is under her husband commit adultery? Here, however, the verse refers to a woman who has met another man and set her eyes on him, and while she is engaged in intercourse with her husband, her heart is with that man." כ. 21. Talmud Berakhot 62a Rab Kahana went and hid himself under Rab's bed and heard him converse [with his wife] and laugh and have intercourse. Rab Kahana said to him, "Abba's mouth is like that of one who has never sipped a dish." Rab exclaimed, "Kahana, art thou here? Go out ; for it is not proper!" He replied, "It is a matter of Torah and I wished to learn." כא. 22. Talmud Shabbat 140 In order to demonstrate the value of modesty to his daughters, Rav Ḥisda held a pearl in one hand and a clod of earth in the other. The pearl he showed them immediately, and the clod of earth, he did not show them until they were upset due to their curiosity, and then he showed it to them. This taught them that a concealed object is more attractive than one on display, even if it is less valuable. כב. 23. Rashi to Talmud Shabbat 140b When your husband caresses you to arouse your desire for intercourse and holds the breasts with one hand and that place with the other give the breasts [at first] to increase his passion and do not give him the place of intercourse too soon until his passion increases and he is in pain with desire. כג. 24. Aruch HaShulchan 1:1:1 3 (1) Angels [have intelligence and] serve their creator, and do not have a yeitzer hara. Animals, on the other hand, have yeitzer hara, but lack intelligence. The result is that angels cannot receive reward for their service, as they have no yeitzer hara to overcome, and animals cannot be punished for their actions, as they do not have the intelligence necessary to overcome their drives. (2) Therefore God found it necessary to create the human on the sixth day, and God created the human with both sides: God gave him a spiritual soul that enables him to recognize the Creator as does an angel, as the verse states: God's candle is the human soul... (Mishlei 27:20). And God created him in a body which is thick material, like a beast, to eat, drink, and sleep. This state of affairs gives rise to a constant struggle within a person all the days of his life. His animal nature incites him to desire this world like an animal, and the pure soul battles against him and shows him that he was not born for this, but to serve God like an angel. His soul further insists that even necessary physical needs, such as eating, drinking, and sleeping, should be done with intent to better serve God.

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