Newsletter. Join the MCA Mailing List and Stay Connected AL-QURAN HADITH

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1 PRAYER TIMINGS effective 12/22 MCA NOOR Fajr 6:30 6:30 Zohar 12:30 12:30 Asr 3:15 3:45 Maghrib Sunset Sunset Isha 8:00 7:00 Juma1 12:15 12:15 Juma2 1:30 1:30 Newsletter Published Weekly by the Muslim Community Association of San Francisco Bay Area Rabi Al-Thani 14, 1440 December 21, 2018 AL-QURAN O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer. Quran, 4:1 HADITH Abu Huraira (RA) reported Allah s Messenger (peace be upon him) as saying: Allah created one hundred (parts of mercy) and He distributed one amongst His creation and kept this one hundred excepting one with Himself (for the Day of Resurrection). Sahih Muslim, Book 50, Hadith 21 TO ADVERTISE HERE VISIT MCA WEBSITE: Join the MCA Mailing List and Stay Connected

2 EVENTS AT MCA WINTER BREAK ( Dec24th - Jan4th ) Boys 5-13 years Christopher Glover explaining constraints and challenges that parents are facing in raising their kids in Raising Resilient Children Friday night. For More Info and REGISTRATION: Professional and USSF Licensed Coaches Spots are limited Blood Drive at MCA Christopher Glover explaining constraints and challenges that parents are facing in raising their kids in Raising Resilient Children Friday night 2

3 mca women's committee presents my sister my strength 12th Annual Women s Conference #Balanceforbetter Save the date Saturday March 23rd,

4 10 ways to empower Muslim women in the community Samana Siddiqui SoundVison Strengthening women in the Muslim community is a long-term process, but here are some simple ways to begin: 1. Recognize and validate traditional women s roles Stay-at-home mother. Devoted wife. Doting daughter. These are all roles that more traditional Muslims, in particular, laud as the highest station for women. Yet, they are rarely acknowledged for the tremendous benefits they bring to Muslim families, and by extension, Muslim communities. Starting with the next community event, have male speakers acknowledge and publicly thank these women in their lives. It could be the mother who helped a young man memorize the Quran; the wife of the Imam, who helped him hash out ideas and shape his speech through discussions and help with research; the daughter of a fundraiser, who helped him develop the pitch he needed to raise the funds for a project. All of these 4 women need to be recognized publicly for the indispensable help they offered. It s a small gesture, but one that will make the community s men and boys realize that women s work in the traditional sense is enormously important. It will also give a muchneeded boost to sisters who often feel their efforts are taken for granted or minimized. 2. Address domestic violence and family abuse head on Violence in the family is the way women have long been held back and disempowered. This type of abuse which Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, hated, must be addressed and tackled urgently in all Muslim communities. Even one case is too many. For ideas on how to work on this issue, please check out our Domestic Violence page. 3. Acknowledge and recognize women volunteers, specifically Women are the backbone of volunteerism in the Muslim community in so many ways. You will usually not encounter them as high profile speakers and fundraisers, but nine times out of ten, you ll find them responsible for taking care of the food at events. And for all the importance given to speakers and fundraisers at dinners, if the food arrangements aren t well-organized, the whole evening can be ruined. Women are often the first to volunteer their time to teach at Islamic weekend schools. This is especially with children in younger grades, who require more patience and are frankly, not as fun to teach as older kids who can better understand more complex aspects of Islam. These are just two examples, but they simply reflect the kind of grunge work most men choose to shun for

5 more prestigious volunteerism (e.g. speaking and fundraising). Acknowledge the sister volunteers of the community with a special event and hand out awards; print their names with a note of thanks in the community newsletter and publish them on your mosque or Islamic center s website. Be creative. There are many more ways to offer thanks. The reward of doing this will be renewed enthusiasm on their part and encouragement for the young women in the community to serve in the future as well. For the men, it will instill a recognition of women s oft-neglected contributions. 4. Teach Women s Studies.Islamic style Starting next year, offer classes about Women s Studies and Women s History in your Islamic weekend school, Halaqas and full-time Islamic schools. These need to go way beyond the usual brief chapters discussed about Maryam, Asiya, Fatima, Khadija and Aisha (may Allah be pleased with them all). The courses need to discuss the impact these five fundamental women have had on the development of Islam and the Muslim community as a whole, not just the women. Companions of the Prophet by Abdul Wahid Hamid, offers a great compilation of lesser known women among the first generation of Muslims. In addition, these classes need to highlight the many, many Muslim women throughout history whose contributions have long been ignored, but who have sacrificed their wealth, skills, talents and lives for Islam. Some more recent examples from within the American Muslim community include pioneers Lois Lamya Faruqi, Maryam Funches and Shareefa Alkhateeb. 5. Set up an Aisha bint Abu Bakr Scholarship This would be a scholarship offered to a Muslim woman to study at an institution of higher Islamic learning with the aim of becoming a scholar. The condition of receiving this financial assistance would be that the recipient return to her community and share and implement her knowledge, especially to empower Muslim women. 6. Incorporate stories of Muslim women in Friday Khutbas Friday sermons are an indispensable tool for mass Islamic education. They offer the best platform to address the community as a whole on not just women s rights, but generally, how women are the fabric of a solid Muslim community. Imams and Khateebs need to weave stories of the struggles and sacrifices of Muslim women into their sermons, instead of just devoting one Khutba every few years on the topic of the status of women in Islam. For instance, a Khutba on the need to be generous in establishing the Muslim community can mention examples of the tremendous amount of wealth Khadija devoted to the cause; a Khutba on knowledge should not omit the incredible scholarship of Aisha. May Allah be pleased with both of them. 7. Make sure sisters are represented in the mosque, Islamic center or organization s leadership This means going beyond establishing a women s committee at the Masjid that simply deals with women s issues. Women must be included on critical decision-making bodies because their input offers the kind of Shura (consultation) that directly affects half of the Muslim community and many times, all of it. For example, if your mosque or center is expanding or renovating, few brothers will understand the need for including a diaper changing station in a bathroom. A sister is more likely to bring this up. And as more daddies are involved in child care nowadays, this is no doubt an idea fathers visiting mosques would also welcome. At the time of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, women freely discussed issues that concerned them with him and later, with other community leaders. They did this inside and outside the mosque. Whatever method they chose, be it public or private, they let their voices be heard. Let the Muslim women in your community also be able to voice their critical input. 8. Drop unislamic double standards in word and action While cultural double standards when it comes to men and women s behavior have long existed in the Muslim community, this is hardly an Islamic practice. If brother X is known to be dating his fourth girlfriend, his behavior should not be ignored or brushed off with the boys will be boys refrain so common in the community. Similarly, if sister Y is seen talking to a boy, she should not be accused of being loose or worse. This is where Islamic standards of dealing with the opposite sex need to be made known to the entire community, through Khutbas, as well as gently and wisely correcting those who practice cultural double standards anathema to Islam. 9. Start a Muslim women s debate club The aim of this exercise would be to help Muslim women, specifically, address the oft-repeated accusation that Islam is an anti-woman religion. Young Muslim women in middle and high school as well as college should be the primary participants and it should be run by people who are not only knowledgeable about Islam, but also those who have some expertise in debating (e.g. someone who is on their own school s debating team). Through the process of debating, members will strengthen their own understanding of women s issues within an Islamic framework, as well as get the tools they need to defend and discuss this aspect of Islam. 10. Give them the info they need to seek knowledge The phrase knowledge is power has become a tired cliché but it s a truism that continues to affect so many Muslim women. To kick off the knowledge = empowerment theme in your community, start off by compiling a comprehensive list of local classes, workshops, seminars, etc. Make this list available not only via , on your blog or on a listserv, but also, the oldfashioned way: by putting fliers in the mosque s women s section. That way, women have the tools at their fingertips on or offline to begin their journey to empowerment. Also make sure that the information is translated into the language most used amongst the women who frequent the Masjid. 5

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7 PARENTING: An Islamic Perspective Abu Musa Alyas IslamicAwakening.com The feeling of wanting a child is something that is natural, necessary and a very basic part of human life. At a certain point of reaching adulthood, the desire to become a parent intensifies, and as the psyche develops, so does the physical body in preparation for this journey. The desire often increases until an emptiness is felt, once a child is born this void is then filled. A new generation is born, and one of the the biggest responsibilities has then been taken upon by a person. Unfortunately, not many people actually consider at a deeper level what it means to become a parent. The Responsibility The only reason by which a couple should embark upon the immense responsibility of having a child is if they can give the child a stable home. Life can change over time, but when considering whether to have a child or not this should be a minimum requirement. Perhaps as importantly, no couple should have a child simply because they would like to have a baby, if someone wants to bring a pure soul into the world then the child should be given the respect it deserves by giving it due consideration. A couple should only have a child if they want to raise it for the sake of Allah, if they want this child to spread the name of our Lord to everyone it meets and die as one of the righteous. It has become common place to have children to fix a marriage. Couples experiencing marital problems often believe that raising a child together will help bring them closer together. For those who have experienced the difficulties of pregnancy, labour and the intense trials of a newborn baby, will instantly recognise what a fallacy this idea is. For two people to become closer, they need time and good communication in order to deal with the issues at hand. Nine months of pregnancy and then the following years with a newborn baby will only create further pressure and distance between the couple. Parents need to be a strong unit from the beginning. Parents who have children to fix their relationship usually go their separate ways at some stage, leaving a child without a stable home in which it had the right to be raised. Alternatively, the parents stay together for the sake of the child; the child is then raised in a home where there is usually little or no communication between the parents, let alone love. This is not an environment which is beneficial to the child. The child was not given the consideration and the respect it deserved from the beginning, and will now have to suffer, perhaps for life because of the irresponsible and selfish actions of the parents. By having a child solely for the sake of Allah means the parent is mentally equipped to know what it means to conceive and raise the child in a manner which takes care to do justice to the child and to the ummah as a whole; to spread the name of our Lord, and to live and die as one of the righteous. Spending time with the child As the Prophet (Sallahu alayhi wa sallam) illustrated All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. [Agreed upon] The shepherd does not merely push his flock to one side waiting for them to return at the end of the day, he does not hope that they will find their own way or look to anyone else to guide them. The shepherd accepts responsibility and constantly guides his own flock. This is exactly what every parent should be doing with their child. The parents should be involved in every aspect of a child s life, concentrating on the child s internal and external development. The parent needs to constantly refine the character of the child. It should be known that parenting is a science, every interaction, recognition, praise, and discipline will combine to form a part of that child s character. Therefore, it is imperative that parents reflect and ensure their interactions with the child result in positive characteristics developing in their children. Many parents send their children to school, wait for them to arrive home and then hurry them back out to the madrassas. After which, they are left to roam the streets. Any other spare time is spent between relative s houses and more time on the streets. This is clearly not the way to raise a righteous child and this is not the time, love and respect that the child requires to develop into a healthy balanced person. In order to develop a deep love and friendship with the child, a parent must devote their time and attention towards the child. The fundamental aim of every parent is built upon the same foundations; every parent must be the number one person in that child s life. The person that the child looks up to and wants to be like. Every parent must ensure they are the child s best friend. Teaching children their deen A certain mentality seems to have evolved regarding Madrassas; parents often feel as though they are fulfilling their Islamic obligations by sending a child to a Masjid. They feel that a child will learn and develop their religion by attending a madrassa for a couple of 7

8 hours each day. This is the extent of the Islamic education that the children receive; nothing else is done at home. What parents must realise is, the children will usually repeat the same verses again for that two hour period and then proceed to another set of verses the next day. The child is not being moulded around the deen, they are not developing the Islamic personality from reciting repeatedly. In order to develop the Islamic personality, children need to know and understand what Allah has said to them, they need to know and love the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) and see the sacrifices that he made to bring this deen to the world. It should be clear to any parent that this is not taught in a madrassa and it is not the job of the madrassas to teach and mould the children into pious Muslimsthis is the job of each and every parent. The parents should be teaching the children daily, both in a literal sense and in terms of their character. Teaching does not infer the basic verbal explanations that most parents give to their children, this should be a full, comprehensive and progressive study taught by the parents. Having to teach the children should be a drive in of itself; in order to teach, the parent themselves must have the required knowledge and indeed this is a pre-requisite of this religion. The parents need to be actively involved in studying the deen in order to be able to teach their children. Relatives Children often seem to spend more time with relatives than the parents themselves. Due to the minimal involvement of the parents in their lives, a weak bond is often formed with the children. The children grow up lost, without that natural bond to the parents that they so desperately require. And it is only the parents that can give them this bond. This is the job that they took upon themselves the day they conceived that child and one that they must take responsibility for. Other relatives assume the roles of parents and relationships become 8 diluted, the difference between the relatives and the parents becomes minimal. Relatives assume roles that are not naturally theirs, they lose their place in the family structure and conflicts occur. Children are often mirrors of their own parents and environments. They absorb their surroundings and become a product of their experiences. The parents have the right and indeed must exercise the right of controlling and filtering continuously this environment and ensure they keep their children close. The children can then enjoy family and friends from a healthy distance; with everyone in their own place, the parent s role is preserved in its correct place. If children are exhibiting bad characteristics such as arrogance, disobedience, showing off and aggression then it is imperative these traits are recognised and removed from a child before it s too late. Once a child is formed, these characteristics will become a core part of their character, and then it may be too late. Children have been created pure and upon the fitrah, therefore they should not be exhibiting negative behavioural traits. Parents often speak of how a child has had certain negative characteristics since they were a child; however this is down to the parenting as opposed to any innate disposition towards certain behaviour that the child was born with. These negative characteristics usually arise as a result of spoiling the children, or allowing others to do the same. Love needs to be shown to children in a beneficial manner, one that encourages love and appreciation. Spoiling children encourages arrogance and other negative traits such as anger and showing off. When children require discipline it must be done consistently and fairly. It is unjust upon a child to allow them to do something one day and then to discipline them for the same thing another day. Parents must set clear and consistent boundaries. Disciplining a child does not necessitate making life dull and without fun for the child. Parents and children can enjoy their interactions in ways which strengthen bonds, create love and most importantly harmony and a healthy understanding of boundaries and goals. Adults Many adults seem to have character issues, usually arrogance, insecurity and showing off. These traits seem to be prevalent in most people. If an analysis into the root cause of these issues was conducted, it would be found that in almost every instance these issues began in childhood and have become engrained into some aspect of the person s character. Those small children who need the time and attention will at some point become adults. The job of every parent is to ensure that these children carry the light of this deen wherever they go as responsible muslims of this world. As the Prophet (sallahu alayhi wa sallam) said whoever starts a good thing and is followed by others, will have his own reward and a reward equal to that of those who follow him, without it detracting from their reward in any way. Whoever starts a bad thing and is followed by others, will bear the burden of his own sin and a burden equal to that of those who follow him, without it detracting from their burden in any way. (Reported by at Tirmidhi who said it was a saheeh hasan hadeeth) If children are roaming the streets and grow into people who commit crime or other bad deeds, then a parent should know that if they have not fulfilled their obligations in parenting then they may carry the burden of the bad actions of their children. Baring the burden of personal actions will be more than enough on a day when all people will be confronted by their deeds, having to bare the burden of others deeds should be something every parent desperately wants to avoid. The gathering of bad deeds would be combined with the abject misery of failure as a parent, knowing that the child has turned out to be a spreader of corruption, rather than goodness. Hence parents need to genuinely reflect on what they are offering their children; it is not merely the childhood that is in CONTINUED ON PAGE 12

9 Isn't it too Cold this Winter? HHRD Global Winter Provisions Program AIMS TO GIVE HUMANITY THE GIFT OF WARMTH Life Saving Winter Packages Prepared Locally and Distributed in these Countries & Regions: Bangladesh (including Rohingya Refugees), Nepal, India, Kashmir Valley,Pakistan, Azad Jammu & Kashmir, Afghanistan, Jordan (Syrian, Yemeni, Iraqi, & Palestinian Refugees, & Local Jordanians), Lebanon (Syrian & Palestinian Refugees, & Local Lebanese) Winter Provisions packages include: Coats, Jackets, Sweaters, Scarves, Shawls, Gloves, Socks, Hats, Blankets, Comforters, Quilts; Mattresses, Pillows, Thermals, Hot-Water-Bottles, Heaters, etc. (varies by country) Yes! We can save 25,000+ fellow human beings this Winter, including many children from getting sick in these freezing temperatures! Donate online at Or drop off check at our local HHRD Office 3070 Scott Blvd, Santa Clara, CA (In memo write: Winter Drive) Or visit us at the MCA booth during Jumma prayers! Please contribute Generously towards the Target Amount of $400,000 for HHRD Winter Provisions Program Call for more info: Shireen Khan (408) (HELP) Helping Hand For Relief & Development, Hilltop Street, Southfield, Michigan , USA Phone: Fax:

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12 CONTINUED FROM PAGE 8 If you would like to contribute a story, poem, an article for this section, please send to the newsletter editor newsletter@mcabayarea.org FUN FACTS An Arab with the name Khalid, first discovered coffee when he observed that goats were getting very hyper after eating these strange berries. He decided to dry the berries and roast them resulting in coffee. Paper maps were first made in the early 8th century in Baghdad when the Muslims got bitten by the travel bug. The Olympic flag s colors are always red, black, blue, green, and yellow rings on a field of white. This is because at least one of those colors appears on the flag of every nation on the planet. Even though fruit loops are different colors, they have the exact same flavor. When algebra solves your math questions you can thank Al-Khwarizmi. He created the Kitab al-jabr Wa l-muqabala which translates to The Book of In California it is illegal to eat an orange in a bathtub. The first flying machine was invented by Abbas Ibn Firnas in the ninth century long before the Wright Brothers Butterflies taste with their feet. When algebra solves your math questions you can thank Al-Khwarizmi. He created the Kitab al-jabr Wal-Muqabala which translates to The Compendious Book on Calculation by Completion and Balancing. Contributed by Maryam and Aisha Kazi the hands of the parent, possibly the child s akhira which in turn could affect their own. Parents in Old Age The old age, you reap what you sow becomes ever more appropriate once the parents reach old age. Parents now after a long life rightfully expect the children to now take care of them and treat them with respect; this right is given to the parents by Allah: And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. (Al-Isra, 23) And again Allah states: And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination. (Luqman, 14) The thanks are given to Allah and then to the parents, this izzah given to the parents is something that only comes from the deen of Allah. Every parent should therefore know and understand that if their child is grateful to their Lord, the one who has Created them and Sustained them, then he will be grateful to them. The parents will indeed reap what they sow, if they worked hard to bring this child close to their Lord, then they shall see the fruits of that work when they require it most. Conclusion Success and ultimate salvation only lies in following Allah s commands, in fearing Him alone and raising our children to the best of our ability to be leaders of this Ummah, to be of those who are indeed mindful and thankful towards the Most High. All parents must reflect on the way, in which they are raising their children, the state of Muslim children is indeed indicative upon the parenting they are receiving. Much time and effort is required in this area, and we beseech The Most High for ease. May Allah forgive us all, and enable us to be the kind of parents this deen demands of us. Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established. (Ibrahim, 41) And Allah knows best. 12

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16 SADAQAH Setup A Recurring Donation Mother of the believers, Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated that: The most beloved action to Allah s Apostle (pbuh) was that whose doer did it continuously and regularly. (Bukhari # You can setup an automatic recurring donation on Hidaya s website towards any of our projects, for example: Donate monthly to support and educate orphans ($10 for No Orphan without Education, $40 for Widow/Orphan Support) Donate monthly to provide clean drinking water for families in need ($10 for 1,200 gallon tanker distribution, $300 for a water hand pump) Donate monthly to feed the poor ($120 to sacrifice a goat/sheep and meat is distributed to poor, or 50 cents per meal, $50 for 100 meals, $250 for 500 meals etc. through One Million Meals project FOUNDATION P.O. BOX 5481, Santa Clara, CA Hidaya Foundation is a non-profit 501(C)(3) charitable organization with Tax ID #