Finding Someone Better in Your Spouse

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1 T h e C o l f a x C e n t e r H EART L I N E HOLLAND, IA MAY-JUNE, 2016 Finding Someone Better in Your Spouse We never know whom we marry; we just think we do. Or even if we first marry the right person, just give it awhile and he or she will change. For marriage means we are not the same person after we have entered it. The primary problem is learning how to love and care for the stranger to whom you find yourself married. Stanley Hauerwas Tim Keller, in his book The Meaning of Marriage, has a chapter entitled Loving the Stranger. He states, Marriage changes us. Having children changes us. A career switch changes us. Age changes us. On top of everything else, marriage brings out and reveals traits in you that were there all along but were hidden from everyone including you, but now they are all seen by your spouse. Therefore, when the in-love experience begins to fade away, all of those quirks and warts and flaws are no longer cute and overlooked they are now annoyingly front and center. When this inevitably happens, those involved can respond in a few different ways. One response (increasingly becoming more common) would be to realize that this stranger requires more work, time and effort than you really want to give. You now realize that they have stopped meeting your needs, and the hard work of marriage outweighs the reward. Therefore, you consciously or subconsciously begin to look for someone better. In time however, what you will find in this new person is not greener grass, but the same kinds of weeds and thorns and briers. Better yet this someone better will find these same things to be true of you. So as Keller explains, Many people with multiple marriages go through the cycle of infatuation, disillusionment, rejection and flight to someone else over and over. This is certainly one way to deal with marriage. Yet, I would suggest another way a hard but glorious way to love the stranger you married. Ephesians 4:15 says, Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. In marriage my spouse sees me in a way that no one else does. My spouse knows the best about me and the worst about me. My spouse not only knows the worst, but experiences the worst because my sins are often committed against her. So how do you transition from being in-love to actually loving your spouse? Instead of leaving, the Bible calls us to stay to be present; to humbly and graciously speak the truth in love. Speaking the truth in love means that we care for our stranger-spouse so much that we speak into their lives. When someone loves you enough to share their concerns, the security and safety of their love should enable you the freedom to admit to acknowledge to recognize patterns of sin and selfishness. Admittedly, this is very hard to do to strike the right balance of sharing truth in love. Yet by God s grace we can. The grace of Christ enables us to lovingly speak; knowing that our security is rooted in the atonement of Jesus. Our spouse may not respond in the way we think. They may blow up or become infuriated. However, if we are really speaking the truth in a loving manner for their benefit then you can deal with their disappointment. You can deal with their reaction because of the security given to you by Christ. The grace of Jesus frees you to love and speak and long for your marriage to grow in holiness and happiness. When you ponder the depths of your sin and the fact the He stayed, this is a powerful motive to love the stranger you married. He loved us, not because we were lovely to Him, but to make us lovely. Pastor Robby 1

2 June Birthdays May Birthdays 1 - Samantha Lamfers, Justin Stahl 2 - David Pruin 3 - Nikolas Harken, Kyle Venenga 6 - Arnold Ennenga, Linda Schnell 8 - Erin Aalfs 9 - Alonna Fairbanks 10 - Nichole Arends, Caitlin Hayungs, Brent Vaughan, Taylor Werkman 11 - Brady Hook 12 - Joshua Arends 13 - Derek Kruger, Elaine Sents 14 - Brian Boomgarden 15 - Lee Arends, Cinda Pankratz, Chasity VanZuuk 16 - Joyce Blythe 17 - Molly Kollath 18 - Kelly Sandy 19 - Jerry Eberline 20 - Amanda Everts 21 - Andy Werkman 22 - Tom Sherman 23 - Larry Hoop 24 - Leon Johnson, Ashley Stahl 25 - Ron Arends, Virgil Getting, Linda Kruger 26 - Bernita Lamfers 28 - Kevin Harken, Cory Schnell 30 - Alex Crosley, LuRae Eberline, Maesa Everts 31 - Joe Ann Ennenga 2 - Megan Hook, Hillary Samo 3 - Megan Kollath 4 - Jacob Harberts, Marc Lamfers 6 - Lance Kruger, Mike Norris 7 - Allison Boomgarden 8 - Robbie Bakker 9 - Eric Larson, Becky Randall, Brandon Sents 10 - Jeanne Arends, Roger Seehusen 11 - Micah Grames, Anna Mae Klaassen, Rhonda Samo 12 - Anona Arends, Leah Larson 13 - Kristie Salo 14 - Anna Harken 16 - Kayla Nisius, Tessa Nisius, Chris Randall 17 - Knox Annesley, Joni Klaassen, Richard Lamfers, Ashlyn Redix, Michael Smit 19 - DeLoris Eilers, Darwin Harms 21 - Zach Klaver 23 - Dan Blythe, Adam Harrenstein 24 - Cole Richtsmeier, Anastasia Wiers 25 - Betty Heeren, Stephanie Larson, Dean Salo 26 - Donn Anderson 27 - Janet Harberts, Lori Hook 28 - Blake Arends, Craig Harken, Bob Janssen 30 - Joe Junker GRUNDY CENTER CABLE CHANNEL MAY/JUNE WORSHIP SCHEDULE Bethany Presbyterian May 3 & 8 Colfax Center May 10 & 15 First Baptist May 17 & 22 St Gabriel Catholic May 24 & 29 First Presbyterian May 31 & Jun 1 United Methodist Jun 7 & 12 Ivester Church of the Brethren Jun 14 & 19 American Lutheran Jun 21 & 26 Bethany Presbyterian Jun 28 & Jul 3 2

3 Congratulations to Amy, Nathan, Blake, Jolyn and Colton Stahl on the addition to their family, Dawson Dennis Lee Stahl! Dawson was born March 22, 2016 around 2:35 am. He weighed in at 8 lbs, 3 ozs and 22 inches long. The Ruth s and Esther s met on Monday, April 4, 2016 at 1:30 pm at the church. Karen Dieken had opening devotions. She had a reading, The Tale of Three Trees, read Because He Lives and closed with prayer on the five wounds of Jesus. Fran led a short business meeting. She reminded everyone of Leola Abels birthday celebration on Saturday, April 12th in Nebraska. Fran shared that a gift of $ was received from Thrivent Lutheran Retirement Fund. She then read a Thank You from Campus Discipleship Ministries for the 2015 Love Gift of $ Linda led our lesson on Sunday, Triumphal Entry taken from Matthew 21:1-11. The purpose of our lesson was to celebrate Jesus, our humble King, and deepen our worship of Him. Jesus entered Jerusalem on a donkey, a humble creature. While the crowd had laid down branches and sung hosannas and welcomed Him, they didn t grasp His identity. Some saw Jesus as the king, some as a prophet. This was only partly right: Jesus is prophet, but also Messiah and King - and ultimately God the Son. The crowd was giving to Christ, the glory due His name; however in their case, it was with little understanding and no heart allegiance. Sunday morning services and special celebrations can be and should be helpful means for worship. May we, like little children, declare the praises of our Savior who brought us from darkness to light. The meeting was closed with prayer and we adjourned for lunch. Pat and Karen K served a delicious lunch and all enjoyed fellowship together. Karen F. Kruger 3

4 Wednesday Night Summer Series Our Summer study, will begin Wednesday, June 1, 6:30 pm. Our series is Cultivating Hospitality in the Church. This is a small group study/discussion/ prayer time. Light refreshments will be served. Please join us! June 5 -- Colfax BBQ and Bluegrass Mark your calendars and invite your neighbors! This will be a great way to spend the Lord's Day afternoon together. Starting around 3:30, we will enjoy great music, food, games and lots of fun for everyone. Need A Ride? If you are in need of transportation to church, doctor appointments, etc, during May & June, please contact: Chuck/Ruth Thoren ( ) or ( ) Or Sheila Steinmeyer ( ) or ( ) Missionaries of the Month For May: Bob Dontje - Wycliffe & Great Plains Church Planting Network For June: Leon Pannkuk & Friends & Rob & Jenny Ilderton - MTW England If you would like to receive updates from our missionaries, please let Karen Dieken know and she will add you to the distribution list so you can pray for them. RYM Bake Sale at The Mill We are holding a Bake Sale at The Mill on Saturday, May 28th starting at 7:00 am and ending when all goods are sold. Please consider donating your favorite baked goods to support our youth as they participate in RYM Youth Camp in July. You may take your goods directly to The Mill on May 28th by 9:00 am or have them at Colfax no later than 4:00 pm on May 27th. Proceeds will help defer costs in taking our youth to RYM camp! RYM Yard Sale Thank you to everyone who contributed, donated or helped with our Yard Sale to support our youth in going to RYM Camp. 4

5 Dear Colfax Center Church, Thank you so much for the personal care items you donated to our center. Our God calls us to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Your donation demonstrates this to our clients. Thanks again and God Bless You! Alternatives Staff, Board, Volunteers & Clients Thank you, Colfax Center Church for the wonderful greeting and prayers! We know it is your blessings and prayers that is healing me (plus our faith). God is good! After six surgeries, I am doing pretty well and getting strength back by walking the condo hall...six rounds makes a mile. I cannot do it yet, but am close by splitting the trips up. Hopefully, it won t be long until we will be back to CCC! Sincerely thanking you and most of all our Savior! Sue Kruger Thank You, Scott & Jill Borchardt for the peace lilies shared on Easter Sunday in memory of your grandparents. Orene Eberline & family for the flowers shared on March 13th in memory of Verne. We would like to thank everyone for the calls, cards, gifts and meals since Dawson s birth. Dawson is such a blessing to our family and we are blessed with a great church family to share him with. Nathan, Amy, Blake, Jolyn, Colton & Dawson Stahl A Big thank you to all the people that helped move me to Arlington Place. Also thank you to all the ladies who cleaned my apartment. They all did a wonderful job. I am blessed to have so many wonderful friends. Viola Vasey Mothers & Fathers Day There will be a Mothers Day program on May 8th following our Morning Worship and a Fathers Day program on June 19th. We hope all our mothers and fathers can join us! 5

6 Colfax VBS 2016 will be the week of June 5th. If you are willing to teach or help in any way, please contact our VBS Co-Leaders, Abbey Harberts &Tessa Norris or you may sign up in the Narthex at Colfax. Please watch the bulletin for the daily schedule, kickoff and program times and dates. Colfax Kids Singing!! 6

7 Spring Fling

8 Spring Fling 2016 Cont d... Food, Fun, Fellowship & Cupcakes, Cupcakes, Cupcakes! 8

9 May/June Nursery Attendants May/June COFFEE FELLOWSHIP May 1 May 8 May 15 May 22 May 29 Amy & Jordan Launstein Karen & Ali Boomgarden Sheryl Johnson/Sheila Steinmeyer Ruth Thoren/Noel Grames Linda Kruger/Samantha Lamfers May 1 May 8 May 15 May 22 May 29 Jake & Wava Hemmen Care Team Fran Harms; Carol Krull Tim & Taryn Annesley Donn & Pam Anderson June 5 June 12 June 19 June 26 Taryn Annesley/Cathy Janssen Marissa Getting/Samantha Lamfers Doug & Sandy Wiers Lori & Kylie Willis June 5 June 12 June 19 June 26 Scott & Jill Borchardt Leon & Sheryl Johnson Care Team Elaine & Lorraine Sents July 3 Susie & Micah Grames July 3 Eldon & Linda Kruger May/June Elevator Attendants May 1 Ken Harken May 8 Paul Smit May 15 Mike Dieken May 22 Brian Boomgarden May 29 Doug Wiers June 5 Jesse Willis June 12 Chuck Thoren June 19 Jerry Eberline June 26 Ken Harken July 3 Paul Smit May/June FLOWER SCHEDULE May 1 Still Available May 8 Jerry & LuRae Eberline & family May 15 Janet Harberts May 22 Still Available May 29 Still Available June 5 Still Available June 12 Still Available June 19 Still Available June 26 Still Available July 3 Still Available 9

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