Passionate Parenting. How to Raise Wholehearted Followers of Jesus. with Biblical Counselor Susanne Maynes

Transcription

1 Passionate Parenting How to Raise Wholehearted Followers of Jesus with Biblical Counselor Susanne Maynes

2 Passionate Parenting: How to Raise Wholehearted Followers of Jesus Weekend Workshop Participant s Guide 2016 by Susanne Maynes ALL RIGHTS RESERVED No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, --electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without prior written permission. Unless otherwise identified, all Scripture quotations in this publication are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (EDV), 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Other version used: The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV), 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Author s website: Author s Facebook group: Raising Jesus-Followers (open to the public; just ask to join)

3 Workshop Schedule Friday Evening 6:30 6:40 Worship Time 6:40 7:30 SESSION I: GOD S MANDATE, YOUR MISSION 7:30 8:00 Small Group Activity 8:00 8:30 SESSION II: WISDOM FROM THE WORD Saturday Morning/Afternoon AM 9:00 9:10 Worship Time 9:10 9:35 SESSION III, Part 1: FAMILY FUNDAMENTALS 9:35 9:40 Break 9:40 10:05 SESSION III, Part 2: FAMILY FUNDAMENTALS 10:05 10:35 Small Group Activity 10:35 10:40 Break 10:40 11:05 SESSION IV: MAKING PRAYER A PRIORITY 11:05 11:30 SESSION V: PRACTICING THE PRESENCE 11:30 12:00 Small Group Activity PM 12:00-1:00 Lunch on site 1:00 1:45 PANEL DISCUSSION 1:45 1:50 Break 1:50 2:20 SESSION VI: CHERISHING YOUR CHURCH LIFE 2:20 Closing Remarks 2:30 Optional: Prayer and Prophetic Ministry for Parents 3

4 Session I: God s Mandate, Your Mission Introduction: The gospel: You are more broken than you know, and more loved than you could ever imagine. There s no for raising spiritually strong and healthy children, but there are and. Passion: a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement about doing something; ardent affection, deep interest, a strong devotion to an activity. Older meaning:. Passionate Parents: Parents who enthusiastically and fully in the of passing on their faith in Christ to their children. Characteristic #1: A passionate parent is. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Your faith permeates area of your, and you show your children that this is normal living. Characteristic #2: A passionate parent is. You live out your faith, not perfectly, but passionately. Raising your children well is the most important ministry you ll ever have. 4

5 2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence. Characteristic #3: A passionate parent is. A. Dreaming Big Pop quiz-- Circle true or false: 1. T F The primary role of parents is to provide a safe, comfortable home environment and a good education for their children. 2. T F It s important for children to be involved in plenty of extracurricular activities to round out their life experience. 3. T F Spanking is a form of child abuse. 4. T F If I don t help my child develop high self-esteem, he/she will be psychologically damaged. 5. T F Children learn best by experiencing life and figuring it out for themselves, even if it s the hard way. 6. T F College-proofing a child s faith should begin around junior high. Eat dinner together. All the time. Without TV, cell phones or devices. Don t receive lies and fears like just wait until they are teens. God s plan for you is joy! Don t be your child s best friend. Be the best parent you can be. Be hands-on and in the trenches. Swim upstream. Do it every day. 5

6 B. Overcoming the Opposition 2 Chronicles 14:1-7 describes how King Asa got rid of the idols in the land and turned the hearts of God s people back to him. Verse 7 says, Let us build up these towns, he said to Judah, and put walls around them, with towers, gates and bars. The land is still ours, because we have sought the LORD our God; we sought him and he has given us rest on every side. So they built and prospered. (NIV) Proverbs 14:26 Whoever fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge. (NIV) A passionate parent s wholehearted love for God creates a for their children! How cool is that?! Paul says in I Corinthians 2:11 that we can avoid being by Satan, for we are not of his designs. 1. Worldview a Brief History Romans 1:21, For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Ephesians 4:18, They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. Secularism is actually a religious belief which grew out of pride in. is the belief that the supernatural does not exist. Naturalism breaks down into two categories: and. 1 Parents are leaders, and leaders are readers. 6

7 Modernism, which came first, emphasizes the world of (what is true for everyone). It trusts science and distrusts emotions. Postmodernism emphasizes the world of (what is true for me) people s thinking has shifted to relying more on personal feelings. 2 says you can have your truth, and I can have my truth. Colossians 2:8, See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. 2. Eastern Religions, Atheism and Other Beliefs Everything happens for a reason actually comes from the inherent in Eastern religions. Teach your children there is a God who is both and. 3. Postmodern Psychology John Rosemond distinguishes between (the all-important goal of humanist psychology) and, which is gained by treating others as more important than oneself Technology and the Media Too much time on line can destroy our ability to practice and, negatively impacting our relationship with God and our ability to think critically. Everything has a message. As Stonestreet says, Ideas have consequences for real people. 4 Do your parenting for the Lord, not for the desired results. 7

8 5. Healthy Sexuality Sex has lost its, its value and its meaning. Marriage has also lost its original intent, which is to mirror the full-spectrum of God and provide a picture of the mystery of how relates to his church. 6. The Perils of Production 7. Other Negative Cultural Values We love to be, and we are uncomfortable with. We are enamored with, and we value over character. 5 Defend your children from Western values which are not Kingdom values. College-Proofing Your Child s Faith Moralistic therapeutic deism says: 6 I am a pretty good person. God just wants me to be happy. He doesn t really require much of me. Jesus is my truth, at least for now. The gospel says: I am a train wreck without Christ. God has rescued me from myself, and he wants to make me look more like Jesus every day. Because he loves me, he disciplines me. Because I love him, I obey him. C. Setting Specific Goals Group activity: What are your dreams for your children? What steps can you take to get there? The best time to start collegeproofing your child s faith is infancy. 8

9 SESSION II: Wisdom From The Word Three reasons for the birth of Bible Time News: l. The Bible had a central place in our home life. 2. We ate dinner together. 3. We tried to encourage fun, not religion. Tower #1: A passionate parent gains from the. Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Ephesians 6:16-18a In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. Colossians 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits[a] of the world, and not according to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. 2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness. The Bible is the to use for evaluating every idea and philosophy that you and your family encounter. Say yes as often as you can. Say no when necessary. 9

10 How to Approach Time Spent in the Bible There are several ways to approach the Bible, each with a different purpose. 1. Big-picture reading 2. Devotional reading / meditation Christian meditation is significantly different from the meditation practiced by. Christians seek not to empty themselves, but to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Suggestions: Psalms, sermons or parables in the gospels, a chapter from an epistle, a whole book one small section at a time, etc. Let devotional books serve as a or a to passages you are reading. 3. Studying the Bible A. Study Bible such as ESV Study Bible or Spirit-filled Life Bible. B. Comprehensive concordance such as Strong s. 4. Memorizing / Internalizing Scripture I Peter 3:15 Always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect... If Scripture verses are in your memory banks, the Holy Spirit can bring them to mind right when you need them. (He doesn t pull them out of thin air.) Why This Matters So Much The Bible is your parenting manual. 10

11 Deuteronomy mandate: and. Stories and entertainment have a message (or idea), and ideas have consequences for real people. Applying these four approaches to Bible time with your children: 1. Big picture Christians can be guilty of principle-izing the Old Testament and merely coming up with a moral of the story. It s okay to say, I don t know, but I m studying and asking God about it. Discuss Proverbs in the grammar school years. 2. Devotional reading / meditation 3. Studying 4. Memorizing / internalizing Remember, it s about a! Don t be afraid to use in your daily life. Young children don t need lots of choices; they need good boundaries. Used properly, No is a very positive word. 11

12 SESSION III: Family Fundamentals A. Putting Your Ahead of the. It s not by. It s not by at their countless activities. It s not by that Johnny should have gotten an A. It s not even by telling them,. The way your children know you love them is when you demonstrate love to your spouse. Some practical ways to demonstrate that your spouse comes first: at the end of the workday or after supper with just your spouse to debrief and connect. Have a every week or two. Take a weekend away every few months without the children. together without the children. Lock the. with your words and actions in front of your children. Let them see your and. Agree on some relational and keep them. 1. No allowed. 2. No, etc. 3. Avoid making statements. When you are upset, say, When you, I felt because. B. The Magic Key The key to closeness with your child is. You re not going for perfect; you re going for authentic. Here s what you want to do: 1. agree with the truth that you have wronged your child. 2. Change your thinking and your behavior. Repentance is not about beating yourself up. Make it about the one you ve wronged. 3. Ask for this is a gift which you cannot demand. 4. Be hug each other to show the relationship is restored. 12

13 I was wrong to (do/say ). I can see that my actions hurt you. I don t deserve it, but would you be willing to forgive me? This is the at work in your home confession, repentance and restoration with each other and with God when you sin. C. Character Building Hebrews 12:5-6 says, My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. Chastise: the corrective discipline used in a child. While you are parenting your children, God is parenting you. Galatians 5:22-23 The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Our Father God is at work making us more like Jesus, and we are at work helping our children with the same goal. So how do we build character? 1. Instruction a. Teach the of obedience formally. Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. b. Informal training Deut. 6 mandate, all day long. 2. Discipleship/Training a. Show them how, do it together, supervise as they do it, let them take over. b. Rewards for completing chores, showing good behavior, etc. Social rewards play date with friend Activities / special privileges a visit to the park Tangible stickers, treats The rod is a symbol of your God-given authority as a parent. 13

14 3. Correction When your child has been disobedient, you need to adjust his/her behavior back to the and deal with. A sampling of verses on discipline: Proverbs 3:11-12 My son, do not despise the Lord s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. (NIV) Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. (NIV) Proverbs 15:5 A fool spurns a parent s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence. (NIV) Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death. (NIV) Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away. (NIV) Proverbs 23:13-14 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rod and save them from death. (NIV) Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire. (NIV) Before you correct your child, ask yourself these questions: 1. Have I instructed my child in this area? Ephesians 6:4 says, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 2. What is my child s physical/emotional condition right now? 3. What is my physical/emotional condition right now? The Bible teaches it is better to spank children than to spoil them. 14

15 Proverbs 22:8 Whoever sows injustice reaps calamity, and the rod they wield in fury will be broken. (NIV) Listen to the when you correct your children. As parents, we want to without. Methods of Correction 1. Direct, assertive. a. tone of voice. (not harsh, not wimpy) b. Make on their level. (no armchair parenting!) c. Be. Avoid statements like Be nice. d. Use words. (no threatening/repeating) 2. Spanking Spanking is not about ; it s about. Spanking is about paying a consequence to deal with guilt real guilt. It helps a child to learn to say no to himself later in life. The effectiveness of spanking depends on how it is done. Use it early in your child s life. You shouldn t need it much beyond age 5. Good boundaries for the use of spanking: a. Use it as a first resort if it s needed. Don t wait until you are angry. b. Spank immediately with the very young child. c. Don t spank in front of others. d. First, make sure the rules were understood. e. Ask, What did you do? (This teaches confession.) f. Explain that you love him / her. g. Administer a few painful swats on the rear. h. Comfort him or her (only the parent who did the spanking!) i. Lead your child in a prayer asking God s forgiveness. j. Have your child make restitution, if necessary. You may occasionally choose to have mercy on your child (meaning they don t get what they deserve), but that needs to be the exception to the rule or it will cheapen their understanding of God s mercy and won t help them get rid of guilt. Spanking is not about revenge; it s about building character. 15

16 4. Natural / logical consequences a. Natural if Johnny won t stop pulling Puppy s ears, let Puppy nip him. b. Logical if Mary leaves her bike in the rain, she doesn t get to ride it for a week. 5. Extinction (ignore the behavior and it will go away) 6. Time outs Time-outs, extinction, and natural/logical consequences are limited in terms of their effectiveness. Unlike animals, people have a sin nature and no matter the consequences we are bent to choose sin. (Be sure to use instruction, correction and confessional prayer in your discipline.) IV. Tight reins and lots of sugar cubes Avoid:, which doesn t shape the will., which wounds the child s spirit. Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Train up is a midwifery term that has to do with clearing the nasal and throat passages of the newborn so he could breathe, and it is literally translated, create an environment for life. It s the only place in Scripture that this term is found. Study your child to know his or her bent, so you can create an environment in which he/ she can flourish. Your family s values are, but how you carry them out with each child may according to their bent. Blessing your children We need to be and about what we speak over our children. Five elements of blessing (from The Blessing by Gary Smalley and John Trent): 1 1. Meaningful. Hearing your children thank God for each other is a priceless reward. 16

17 2. A spoken words are extremely powerful. (James 3:5-6, Proverbs 18:21) 3. Attaching unconditional acceptance. 4. Picturing a special. 5. Active be available, be engaged, be intentional. Think about how you might want to structure a special for your sons and daughters. Curses A blessing brings ; a curse brings. Avoid these ways to curse: 1. name-calling, sarcasm, teasing/put-downs, laughing at or mocking, embarrassing, showing favoritism/comparison. 2. belittling (which is making light of feelings, behavior, ideas and accomplishments), blaming and fault-finding. 3. : a. Denying the of something he values or fears. b. Denying the of a problem or the importance of an event. c. Denying the of a problem or his ability in an area. 4. Non-verbal ways to curse Sneer, frown, tone of voice or silence, neglect, conditional love. E. Sibling harmony 1. Parent to child relationship a. Security comes from proper order in the home. b. No favoritism. Genesis 37:3-4 c. Honor, respect and affirmation. First allow, then teach sharing. Spank children, not in front of each other. Don t compare siblings, especially in. Fairness vs. justice. Life is not, but God is. Never underestimate the power of a child s prayer. 17

18 2. Child to Child Relationship: a. Teach your children to keep with each other. b. Teach children to with love. c. Have your children to each other from an early age. d. Teach your children to one another. e. Teach your children to each other. Questions: 1. What are some methods of correction you can use to shape your child s character without breaking their spirit? 2. What are some ways you can use the power of your words and actions to bless your child in a way you haven t done before? As you raise your children, your heavenly Father is raising you. Establish a strong family identity: You re a Smith, and Smiths don t lie. 18

19 SESSION IV: The Priority Of Prayer Tower #2: A passionate parent makes a. Hebrews 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. A healthy relationship involves both and time together. ACTS: A : C : T : S : to ask for something from someone who is and has more power. Closely related to supplication is intercession, which means to in the. Avoid starting with supplication (requests). Starting with or helps keep our eyes off our needs and on God. How to Pray for Your Children Rather than aiming for a good prayer life, let s aim to live a praying life. A passionate parent is a praying parent. 19

20 Some Ideas for Structure: 1. Monthly Topic see appendix 2. Weekly Categories using a large index card, list family members, church leaders, ministries, missions, government leaders, etc. Using Scripture: 1. Proverbs pray verses or passages over your children 2. Apostolic prayers see appendix How to Pray With Your Children Show your child let them pray, then gradually encourage them into their own. Family and children s are great times to pray together. A great time for the part of prayer for younger children is right when they are receiving. Make a prayer chart or wheel (see appendix). Pray in the. Great parents recognize that from the moment a child leaves the, until the time he or she leaves the, they must tirelessly guard and shape the mind, heart, and soul of their child. 1 Don t do any praying for your children that they can already do for themselves. The tears you shed over your children are a treasure to God. When in doubt, ask yourself, How does my heavenly Father deal with me? Think of your children as world changers. Not just later. Right now. 20

21 SESSION V: Practicing The Presence Tower #3 -- A passionate parent the of God. The more you read the Word, the more you will pick up on patterns and learn to recognize the ways of God. We also get to know God in prayer, because we are communicating with him and learning to listen. One way to learn to recognize the voice of God is to. As we get more and more familiar with the of God and the of God, our ability to hear his voice increases. The Holy Spirit: Comforts us. (John 14:16,17) Teaches us all things and reminds us of Jesus words. (John 14:26) Is the Spirit of Truth sent from the Father who testifies about Jesus. (John 15:26) Convicts us of sin. (John 16:8,9) Can be grieved. (Ephesians 4:30) Can be quenched. (Thessalonians 5:19) 1 Corinthians 6:19...Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? Ephesians 1: That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe... Spiritual gifts: Romans 12:6-8 I Corinthians 12:8-10 It s not about fixing your parenting; it s about fixing your eyes on Jesus as you parent. 21 The degree to which you practice forgiveness is the degree to which the gospel shines in your home.

22 Operating in the gifts of the Holy Spirit helps us to understand things we would never know on our own so that we can more effectively partner with God in his work such as raising godly children! He is your, and every step of your parenting journey. Prophetic Words Prophetic words are meant to and. Dreams and interpretations Spirit-led Prayer Teaching Your Children to Relate to the Lord Just like with Bible reading and study and prayer, explain to them how you do it and them to do the same. What about their salvation? It s not your job to get your children saved. That s the Holy Spirit s job. Remember God s mandate and your mission: make God the core of your daily life together. It s your job to create an environment for and an atmosphere of. It s your job to explain the and live it out in your home. Questions for group discussion from Sessions IV and V: 1. What is one new method you would like to try as you coach your child in the art of prayer? 2. In what ways would you like your family to grow in the area of hearing the Holy Spirit s voice? 22

23 SESSION VI: Cherishing Your Church Life Tower #4: The passionate parent their. Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near. The point is not what kind of building to meet in; the point is to meet together! 1 Corinthians 12:27 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ... Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. Besides giving you his Word and his presence, God has also given you his. Practicing the One Anothers (a partial list): Outdo one another in showing honor. (Romans 12:10) Live in harmony with one another. (Romans 12:16) Welcome one another. (Romans 15:7) Instruct one another. (Romans 15:14) Greet one another. (Romans 16:16) Care for one another. (1 Corinthians 12:25) Comfort one another. (2 Corinthians 13:11) Agree with one another. (2 Corinthians 13:11) Through love serve one another. (Galatians 5:13) Bear one another s burdens. (Galatians 6:2) Bear with one another in love. (Ephesians 4:2) Be kind to one another. (Ephesians 4:32) Forgive one another. (Ephesians 4:32) Address one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. (Ephesians 5:19) Teach and admonish one another. (Colossians 3:16) Encourage one another. (1 Thessalonians 4:18) Build one another up. (1 Thessalonians 5:11) Seek to do good to one another. (1 Thessalonians 5:15) Exhort one another every day. (Hebrews 3:13) Stir up one another to love and good works. (Hebrews 10:24) Confess your sins to one another. (James 5:16) Pray for one another. (James 5:16) 23

24 Show hospitality to one another. (1 Peter 4:9) Have fellowship with one another. (1 John 1:7) And the one that shows up over and over: one another. (John 13:34; Romans 12:10; 1 Thessalonians 4:9, 1 John 3:11) Psalm 133:1-3 Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes! It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For there the LORD has commanded the blessing, life forevermore. The place you were wounded is also the place you will be healed. Church is not optional; it s part of your family identity. Teach your children that church is family, and every family has privileges as well as responsibilities. What kind of ministry adventure might the Lord want to send you on? Don t fill in your margins, not even with activities. Closing Thoughts Pastoring Your Adult Children A passionate parent never stops being a. As your adult children mature, you have the wonderful privilege of pastoring them. The chapters may change, but the story of your family s life together will continue for your whole life -- and into eternity. To this end I pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling (as passionate parents) and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power (as you raise wholehearted Jesus followers). 2 Thessalonians 1:11 (expanded) 24

25 Children need chores so they learn that God wants them to serve others. 25

26 Discipline helps your child internalize godly values for a lifetime. 26

27 Your teen s sexual purity is protected by his or her passion for Christ. 27

28 Resource List (see also notes ) church and culture, spiritual growth Join the Facebook group Raising Jesus Followers Parenting Books: Boundaries for Kids, Henry Cloud and John Townsend Bringing up Boys/Bringing up Girls, James Dobson Dare to Discipline, James Dobson Different Children, Different Needs, Charles Boyd Give them Grace, Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson Gospel-Powered Parenting, William P. Farley Grace-Based Parenting, Tim Kimmel Have A New Kid by Friday, Kevin Leman Parenting by the Book, Dr. John Rosemond Revolutionary Parenting, George Barna Shepherding a Child s Heart, Tedd Tripp The Birth Order Book, Kevin Leman The Blessing, Gary Smalley and John Trent The Dangers of Growing up in a Christian Home, Donald Sloat The Five Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell The Five Love Languages of Teens, Gary Chapman The Gospel Centered Life for Teens, Robert Thune and Will Walker The Heart of Anger, Lou Priolo The Power of a Parent s Words, H. Norman Wright The Power of a Praying Parent, Stormie Omartian The Sticky-Faith Guide for Your Family, Kara Powell The Strong-willed Child, James Dobson The Way They Learn, Cynthia Tobias 28

29 Other Resources For Parents: (see Summit Ministries curriculum, Understanding the Times ) ( The Four Questions that Destroy a Child s Faith Summit Ministries) (formerly Growing Kids God s Way, by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo) Children s Bibles: The Big Picture Story Bible, David Helm The Jesus Storybook Bible, Sally Lloyd-Jones Prayer and the Bible: A Praying Life, Paul Miller How to Enjoy Reading Your Bible, Keith Ferrin Like Ice Cream, Keith Ferrin The Forgiveness Principle: When Sorry Isn t Enough, Gary Smalley and Jennifer Thomas The Gospel and Apologetics: The Explicit Gospel, Matt Chandler The Reason for God, Tim Keller Why Jesus?, Ravi Zacharias rzim.org (Ravi Zacharias International Ministries) (Stand to Reason) 29

30 Appendix A Monthly prayer categories to pray over your children: 1. That they know Christ (Ps. 63:1, Ps 71:17, 2 Tim 3:15) 2. That they hate sin (Matt. 26:41; Ps. 97:10) 3. That they get caught in sin and called to account when guilty (Ps 84:10; Ps 38:5-6, 17-18; Ps 119:71) 4. Protection (Jn 17:15; Luke 22:31-32) 5. Morality / personal holiness (Gal. 5:22; 1 Tim. 4:12) 6. Respect for authority (Rom. 13:1) 7. Choose the right friends (Hosea 2:6; Prov. 1:10-11; Ps 91:9-11) 8. Choose the right mate (2 Cor. 6:14-17; Psalm 37:4-5) 9. Purity (I Cor. 6:18-20) 10. Learn to submit totally to God (James 4:7; Ps 119:1; Ps 143:10) 11. Love and apply God s word using its wisdom rather than the world s standards to make decisions in life. (Ps 84:10; Ps 119:10; Ps 19:7; Rom. 12:1-2) 12. Allow God to mature within him the character of Christ that will be lived out in a lifetime of service and submission to Him (Ps 90:12, 17; Luke 2:52; Romans 8: 29) Appendix B Apostolic prayers to pray over family members: (Underline in your Bible, and cut/paste/print in your favorite version from biblegateway.com) Romans 15:4b-6 Romans 15:13 Ephesians 1:17-19 Ephesians 3:16-19 Philippians 1:9 Colossians 1:9-12 Colossians 2:2-4 Colossians 4:12 I Thessalonians 3:12, 13 I Thessalonians 5:23 2 Thessalonians 1:11, 12 2 Thessalonians 2:13 2 Thessalonians 2:16 Hebrews 13:20-21 I Peter 5:

31 Appendix C How to Make a Prayer Wheel: 1. On two pieces of card stock paper, or both halves of a manila file folder, draw a circle about 7 inches in diameter. 2. Cut out both circles. 3. Taking one of the circles, draw a line through the middle to divide it in half. Then draw two more lines to create six pie slices. Color the slices in different colors with markers or crayon. 4. Starting about half an inch in toward the center, write the following categories in black marker on the slices: Authorities, Missions, Family, Family, Friends and Friends. 5. Under Authorities, list Parents, Pastors, Teachers, Government, Police, etc. Under Missions, list the missionary families you know and support. Under the first Family category, list Dad, Mom and siblings. Under the other Family title, list grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. Under the first Friends category, put Christian friends. Under the second, put non-christian friends (neighbors, school ). 6. Take the other circle and carefully cut out a window big enough to show one slice of the other wheel at a time. Don t cut it all the way to the edge or to the middle; leave room to write the words: Pray For: at the top of the window, and room for a fastener at the bottom of the window. 7. On the bottom half of the circle underneath the window, write these reminders: Adoration Praise the Lord Confession Tell him your sins Thanksgiving Give him thanks Supplication Ask him for what you need 8. Positioning the circle with the window on the top and the circle with the slices on the bottom, push a brass fastener through the middle of both circles and bend the two prongs flat to fasten the circles together. 9. There you go! You have created a prayer wheel to help you coach your child in the joyful discipline of prayer. 31

32 Prayer Wheel Appendix C sample Pray For: AUTHORITIES Parents, Pastors, Teachers, President, Police, etc. Adoration - Praise the Lord Confession - Tell Him your sins Thanksgiving - Give Him thanks Supplication - Ask Him for what you need 32

33 Notes Session I: God s Mandate, Your Mission 1 What Makes Counseling Christian, Ian Jones, 2 Paul Miller, A Praying Life (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2009), John Rosemond, Parenting by the Book (New York: Howard Books, 2007), John Stonestreet, Understanding Millenials 5 David Eckhart and Tim Rule, An Immersion Experience, (Meridian, ID: Aphesis Group Ministries, 2011), Christian Smith with Melinda Lundquist Denton, Soul-Searching: The Religious and Spiritual lives of American Teenagers (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2009) 118. Session III: Family Fundamentals 1 Gary Smalley and John Trent, Ph.D. The Blessing (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1986) H. Norman Wright, The Power of a Parent s Words (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 1991) Wright, Session IV: The Priority of Prayer 1 George Barna, Revolutionary Parenting (Carol Stream, IL: Barna, 2007),

34 RCC Youth Ministry Leaders Contact and Information Cathy Cattrysse KidCity - Nursery ccattrysse@yahoo.com Cindy Latella KidCity Director cindy.latella@gmail.com Tara Buller KidCity - Preschool tarabuller@gmail.com Largent & Lori Reeb Fusion - Junior/High School loriandlargent@gmail.com Jessica Movius KidCity - Elementary jessica.movius@gmail.com 34

35 About the Author: Susanne Maynes is a certified Biblical Counselor with the Board of Christian Professional and Pastoral Counselors. She is the Counseling Director at Life Choices Clinic and earned her B.A. in Social Science at Bethany Bible College. Susanne has been married to Scott for 32 years. They have three grown sons and two daughter-in-laws who love and serve Jesus, as well as two grandchildren. Susanne is the author of a devotional called When Compassion Calls for Courage: Forty Reflections on Rescuing the Unborn, which is currently awaiting publication. She is working on her next book, Passionate Parenting: How to Raise Wholehearted Followers of Jesus, in which she plans to expand on the contents of this workshop. 35

36 Passionate Parenting