7 SACRED RITUALS TO FIND BALANCE & IGNITE YOUR PASSION

Transcription

1 7 SACRED RITUALS TO FIND BALANCE & IGNITE YOUR PASSION By Kiki Federico

2 WHY RITUAL? This playbook is intended to be guide for busy, ambitious, professional women who want to rise in their leadership, make a positive impact and ultimately, feel good about who they are and the life they are living. The problem is that there seems to be an ever-growing pressure placed on modern-day career women - to do it all, be it all and look the part. This feverish chase towards a better life, success, and independence (make that perfection) usually leads to a moment of realization that we have sacrificed ourselves for someone else s dream. It s common for our smart, talented women to become people-pleasing perfectionists with little time for themselves, who have lost their lust for life, are tired of feeling well, tired and unmotivated, stuck, lost or unfulfilled. Did we learn to accept this as our fate from our martyring mothers? Did we buy that this is the harsh reality of being an independent woman? Well, it s time to start questioning what we have been taught, get in touch with our true values and stop being so afraid to claim what we want - personally and professionally. Because, let s face it, it s not all about your career if you hate your body, if it sucks in the bedroom or there s no one to share your life with. It s time to stop being so afraid to be ourselves. It s about time that we shine the true light of who we are all up in this b*tch until we rewrite the story about what it means to be an empowered, successful and healthy woman. Luckily there are those of us who feel called to put our ideas, intellect, energy and love towards something that has actual meaning to us. These women care deeply, have dug into themselves and done the work to discover their gifts and align with their purpose. These are women who are rising as leaders in their organizations, communities and relationships. These are women who are solving the world s problems, creating more beauty, empowering other women - inspiring change and a greater sense of possibility.

3 But if you ve been stuck in a cycle of self-sacrifice and proving yourself, then it s probably a little hard to imagine shining your light or finding your passion. It s hard enough finding that elusive balance you keep hearing about. And that s where ritual comes in. Welcome Sister. Let this be your guide to find your center and what lights you up once again. Let this guide you towards your dream. WHAT IS RITUAL? Ritual is a mindful, meaningful way of doing things (a symbolic act) with focused attention and intention. Ritual is a way of creating time and space for you and tapping into the powerful, intuitive, creative, passionate woman and leader that lies within you. Ritual reconnects you with yourself (or shall we say your Self, the one with the big S, your higher self, your inner, wiser self who knows what you need and what you re here to do with all o that body, mind and soul). Ritual puts you back in touch with the precious life force energy coursing through your veins and all around you.

4 Ritual is what gives meaning to the mundane moments. It is a dynamic and creative process that offers you a chance to weave small transformations into everyday living. It reminds us that the most profound potential lies in the smallest of actions. Ritual provides an ancient (and proven) structure for connecting us back into that place where can find ease, balance, passion, clarity and purpose. It creates a visible bridge between the invisible realms of our feelings, desires, longings, visions, creativity (our soul) and the visible physical world of bodies, buildings and things we can perceive through our five senses. Simply put, ritual brings our body-mindsoul (beliefs, desires, thoughts, words, actions) into alignment. Ritual is a tangible reminder of our humanity and our divinity, that we are more than just a bag of skin with a cell phone and some pictures as proof of our existence. It reminds us that we are the living, breathing bridges between the seen and unseen, and that we have the power intentionally create a shift in our experience of life - our inner and outer realities - towards what we want it to be. Yeah. YOU! The world needs what women want. - Kiki Federico WHAT MAKES SOMETHING SACRED? Meaning. Value. Truth. Something very important to you. What makes you come alive. Your rights, values, desires and dreams. What you cherish and devote yourself to. Things of the heart and soul. Music. Art. Pleasure. Your relationship to your yoga practice and your dog. Sacred is the perfection in the imperfection. The divine essence, the miracle that is reflected, in life itself. When we remember that all of life is sacred, then we stop throwing around our thoughts, words and bodies so carelessly. We start to respect what we have been given, and maybe even sense the miracle of life itself. We start to see ourselves, others as sacred. We stop focusing on the so called imperfections. We begin to actively appreciate even the tiniest things in life. And that is when the the magic happens. Clearly, sacred does not equal religious.

5 BALANCE + PASSION BALANCE: Balance is represented by the Earth element. It is inherently grounded. With the speed of all our thinking, computing, texting and overall mental anxieties, we need to find balance by slowing down and remembering to feel our bodies. Balance implies a center point, but because the life is ever-moving and changing, balance is dynamic. Finding balance requires that we check in with (go into) ourselves to find that center point over and over and over again.

6 THE FEMININE: It would be hard to talk about balance without mentioning masculine + feminine energy. To keep it short, as a result of the world being dominated by men for thousands of years, the energy on the planet (and within individual humans) has become distorted and hyper-masculine, even within women. This is demonstrated by the individualistic, competitive and warfare mentality that dominates most of our cultures, even if it s subtle. (Are you ready to kill that interview?) Meanwhile, the feminine has been suppressed, objectified and weakened in our collective consciousness. We have learned to adopt masculine ways of being in order to win respect and get ahead. But it is up to us to restore balance first within ourselves (our inner masculine + feminine) before it will be balanced out there in our companies and communities. Part of finding balance is to know, own and express all parts of ourselves - masculine and feminine - authentically, without performing, positioning or apology. Sounds like the ultimate self-confidence. PASSION: Passion is represented by element of fire. Think fire in the belly. It comes from deep inside, with no rational reason why we should care or enjoy something so damn much. We just do. Finding your passion takes digging, self-observation, a sense of curiosity, play and willingness to experiment. Passion makes you feel alive. Especially for women who have learned to tone themselves down, who are afraid to be too much, the thing that lights them up might be hidden away. Finding your passion can mean going back to how you were as a child, before all the social conditioning and fear of being judged set in. Passion is instinctual, wild and free. Passion doesn t care what they think. Passion wants to be seen, heard and expressed. A woman who feels alive makes the world around her come alive. - Kiki Federico

7 DESIGNING YOUR PERSONAL RITUAL: GUIDELINES: Keep it simple. Make it fun. Be true to yourself. Be open and creative. Experiment. Get weird if you want to. This is a chance to express yourself in meaningful ways. But if gods and goddesses aren t your thing, and you prefer champagne over chamomile tea, then do what feels authentic to you. This isn t about trying to be something that you re not. This is about getting closer to who you really are.

8 Stay centered and remember your intention. Always keep in mind why you are performing the ritual and where you want to go. Add beauty + pleasure You want to feel good about it and look forward to it! Beauty is something that makes us feel something. It ignites the soul and reminds us of the miracle of life of which we are a part. It reflects back to us our true nature. Pleasure is your birthright. Indulge your senses. It s a cheap thrill that reminds you of your aliveness. ex: flowers, scented oils, a beautiful journal, a special pen in your favorite color, clean and tidy space PREPARATION: 1) KNOW YOUR INTENTION: Pause. Get still. Close your eyes. Go inward. Feel into yourself. *This is essential. An important step in getting what you really want is to stop looking outside of yourself for answers and tuning in What situation in your life needs addressed? What is the most important need or goal of the situation? ie. healing, releasing, balancing, celebration, reflection, expression What do you want to be feeling, experiencing or wish to cultivate? 2) CREATE SACRED SPACE: Time and space to yourself without disruption or distraction. Boundaries! A clear beginning and ending. This is really good practice for cultivating boundaries in your life to protect your time and space for you, your vision and creativity. Symbolic acts of opening/entering/closing the space: ex: turning off your cell phone or putting it in airplane mode, lighting a candle, or sitting in your favorite chair.

9 Clear the space. Declutter your sacred space as a sign of respect, to clear away distractions and old junk and to make room for your new practice and intentions. Add beauty! Smudging (optional) Try reviving this ancient Native American ritual by lighting sage or palo santo (blow out the flame so it emits smoke) to remove negative energy and make room for new, positive fresh energy - you and your intentional practice! Walk around the room or area, waving the sage bundle or stick into all the corners. Imagine the smoke is absorbing and removing any negative or stagnant energy, or anything that is not yours that might be mucking up the space. Note: Know that when you enter the sacred space (physical, time, mental, emotional, and spiritual) of a ritual, it is like opening a door. When you walk through it, your normal reality can be temporarily suspended. Yeah! Because in a ritual, you create your own rules (new thoughts, beliefs, feelings, ways of being, moving and speaking). You get to be uninhibited, feel what s real and channel all of the goodness of the universe right into your being. 3) TOOLS & SYMBOLS: Ordinary objects with symbolic meaning/power to you. Examples: photos, crystals, candles, flowers, feathers, jewelry, oils, bells, cards Optional: Bless your tools ahead of time by holding the object close to you and infusing it with your energy + the power of universal energy/spirit. Leave it under the light of the sun or full moon to soak up even more goodness and the power of nature.

10 BASIC STRUCTURE: 1) OPENING / ENTERING SACRED SPACE Sit on your meditation pillow. Light the candle. Turn the phone on airplane mode. Start the timer. Fill your cup of tea. Block out distractions or disturbances, and signal to yourself that you have entered your ritual zone. 2) INVOCATION / AFFIRMATION Call in the energy or quality of what it is that you desire. Ask for the forces of the universe to bless you. Yes. This actually works! State to yourself why you are showing up in that moment and what you want to feel.

11 3) EMBODIED ACTION Do that special something that is meaningful to you. Move your body. Dance wildly in your room. Drink tea slowly and feel the warmth radiating through your body. Burn the paper. Rub oils on yourself. Walk to work with your head tilted to the sky. Whatever it is, do it with your intention in mind and heart. 4) CLOSING GRATITUDE / CELEBRATION Feel the affects of your ritual. Let yourself be overcome with appreciation for this small act of self-love. Celebrate showing up for yourself, your body, your creativity or your dreams. No act is too small to celebrate! Blow out the candle. Clean up. Put things away neatly. Bow to yourself and the pulse of life in and around you. Signal that the ritual is now closed.

12 7 (SIMPLE) SACRED RITUALS TO FIND BALANCE AND IGNITE YOUR PASSION BALANCING RITUAL We spend so much time actively working or thinking about the next thing - in our heads - that a big part of coming back into balance is by simply being with ourselves and feeling where we meet the ground. Opening: Step outside or into nature. Ditch your cell phone. Come to a place you can relax. Affirmation: I am grounded and supported by the forces of nature. I am part of this amazingness! Action: Sit or lie down without needing to do anything for at least 10 minutes. Notice the trees, sky, birds. Take it in. Let your breath be a reminder of the cycles of nature. Feel supported by the Earth beneath you. Closing: Feel gratitude for the Earth and her life that nourishes you.

13 CLEARING RITUAL We pick up things throughout the day that aren t really ours to carry around - thoughts, conversations, advertising, s, drama, the weird looks from the guy on the bus. It is important to clear out these mental images, projections and energies that have latched onto us. (Also known as dry brushing. ) Opening: Affirmation: Action: Closing: Stand up with legs shoulder width apart and close your eyes. I clear away all worry, stress and negative energy. Get off me! Starting at the crown of your head, brush your hands down your head, face, neck, arms, chest, back, abdomen, fronts and backs of legs al the way to your feet. Stand still again with eyes closed. Feel the effects of dry brushing on your body and mind. RELEASING RITUAL Sometimes what s got us off balance is being to attached, and we just need to let it go - of the idea, failure, the late night cereal binge, the boyfriend, beliefs or fears holding us back. Opening: Affirmation: Action: Closing: Come to a seat before a bowl of water. I release what no longer serves me. I let go so I can make room for the new. Feel whatever it is that you need to let go of. Write what you need to get out or let go of on a piece of paper. Energetically put all of that stuff - bad memories, guilt, shame, fear - onto the page. Fold it up. Light the corner on fire. Watch it burn baby burn (for a hot second) and toss it in the bowl. (Don t get hurt.) Feel the energy that has shifted. Sense the lightness of letting go. Take a big breath and welcome the new space you have created for goodness.

14 BEAUTIFICATION RITUAL Beauty is not superficial or a luxury. Beauty is a reflection of the divine quality of life - physical and nonphysical. We are hardwired to feel beauty, and women are the forces on the planet that represent beauty, that carry her energy. And let s face it, it feels good to feel beautiful. Taking care of (paying reverence to) our bodies is one of the primary ways we can honor our deeper, divine selves. (Look up the Ayurvedic practice abhyanga. ) Opening: Affirmation: Action: Closing: Step into your shower. Let this water wash away any impurities or negative energy. Cleanse yourself with intention. Don t rush. Close your eyes. Feel the water on your skin. Make it sensual and pleasurable. When you are done, dry off and grab some all natural body oil. Gently massage the oil onto your body, sending love from your heart through your hands into every part, especially the parts you don t like. Feel the love and appreciate your body. REFLECTION RITUAL If you want to discover your passion, you must spend time with yourself, your thoughts and ideas. This means prioritizing solitude, maybe even looking forward to it. Opening: Invocation: Action: Closing: Come to your favorite place to sit- somewhere cozy or with a view - with real pen and paper. (Cue the pretty journal and inky pen. Light a candle for extra credit.) Ask for the truth to be revealed through your writing. Free write for minutes. Write down the questions that you are looking for answers to. Write the answers that first come to mind. Write what you like and don t like. What you care about. What you wish was different. What excites you. Don t hold back. Close your journal and feel the difference once you've said your piece.

15 EXPRESSION RITUAL What longs to be expressed? What needs to come out of you? What wants to flow through you? For women, a great way to unlock our creativity and tap into our inner fire is through moving our bodies, getting the blood and energy moving, because, as you know, sometimes we just wanna dance! Opening: Invocation: Action: Closing: Close your bedroom door and put your favorite song on. Call in the energy of freedom, your own inner dancer (or Beyonce). Dance wildly in the privacy of your own room with complete inhibition. Come to stillness. Breathe. Feel the life force pulsing through your body. ELEVATING RITUAL One of the best ways to engage with our passion is to give of ourselves, to be of service. When we give our gifts freely and because we love it, we elevate our vibration. At the core, our love is the fuel for our passions and our passions fuel the love we feel. Opening: Think of 3 women that you love, admire, miss or who support or inspire you. Invocation: Cultivate that loving feeling. Action: Send a blessing their way (and a text message) telling them you are thinking of them and sending love. Closing: Feel the heightened vibes of sending your love out into the universe.

16 ABOUT KIKI Kiki Federico is a Women s Leadership + Lifestyle Coach and founder of Ritual Uprising. Her mission is to liberate professional women to live and lead authentically, soulfully and in a community of sisterhood. I believe that women have the most critical role to play in shaping our future, but we must come together, celebrate what makes us women and change what's not working for us. After years of sacrificing herself, her health and her femininity to get ahead, Kiki now helps ambitious women who are seeking a more balanced life, meaningful relationships and fulfilling career. She guides them to access their innate creativity and grow the confidence to bring passion their ideas to become embodied, inspiring leaders.