Family and Christian Responsibility

Transcription

1 Toney L. Smi Family and Christian Responsibility Defraud ye not one e oer, except it be wi consent for a time, at ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come togeer again, at Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (1 Corinians 7:5). Toney L. Smi Introduction In is study concerning Conditional Christian Living, we have been assigned e passage Defraud ye not one e oer, except it be wi consent for a time, at ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come togeer again, at Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (1 Corinians 7:5). In is chapter Paul will address some of e ings whereof ye wrote unto me (7:1). He will write of ings which pertain to ose who are married as well as to e unmarried. Verses 1-24 are directed to e married and verses to ose who remain single. He lays e groundwork for is section by saying, It is good for a man not to touch a woman. The wo touch here refers to e intimate relationship auorized between e husband and wife (Genesis 6:20; Proverbs 6:29). Paul tells us at a single life is good, but not required. In fact he states his approval of marriage in Hebrews 13:4 and Ephesians 5: He is teaching at an unmarried situation could be better due to e present distress (verse 26). Persecution was ha upon e church of e First Century and Christianity called for strong determination and dedication. Paul is emphasizing at e persecution of one s family might be too ha to overcome. However, Paul also recognizes e strong physical urges at are natural between a man and a woman. Thus, he says, Nevereless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband (verse 2). The husband and wife are to have eir own mate as had been taught by e Lo (Matew 19:3-9). Definition of Terms Defraud comes from e Greek wo ( ) apostereo - Thayer s Definition: 1) to defraud, rob, despoil. A Related Wo by Thayer s/strong s Number: from G575 and stereo (to deprive). ( ) apo Thayer Definition: 1) of separation, e separation of a part from e whole; of local separation, after verbs of motion from a place, i.e. of departing, of fleeing, where of a whole some part is taken, of any kind of separation of one ing from anoer by which e union or fellowship of e two is destroyed, of a state of separation, at is of distance by place or time.. Keep in mind e wo refers to a separation by distance in place or in time. Except is a restrictive term. The Greek wo is (eimeti) Thayer Definition: unless indeed, except, unless perhaps. Paul is telling e church at Corin at ere is a possibility at from time to time a married couple might be relieved from eir responsibility of rendering of due benevolence. However, is was not to be e normal situation. By inspiration, Paul writes to warn em to avoid a separation which could cause em to be tempted to sin. Temporary separation for specific occasions is recoed in e Old Testament (Exodus 19:15; 1 Samuel 21:4-5). Conditional Christianity 23 Annual Mid-West Lectures Page 1 be be sold. For information contact e 39 Street church of Christ, East 39 Street, Independence, MO

2 Toney L. Smi Anoer wo at we should understand in is study is e wo incontinency which means want of self-control, incontinence, intemperance ( akrasia). This wo is from anoer wo ( - akrates) which means powerless, at is, wiout self control: - incontinent. This Greek wo is found only in our text and in Matew 23:25 where it is translated as excess. Therefore is conduct shows a want of power over one's self' incontinence or intemperance. We must also understand e term due benevolence which is found in verse 3. The American Standa Version translates e term her due referring to e physical relationship which is confined to and permitted only by ose who are married. The wo benevolence is found in no oer passage of e Bible. The Literal Translation of e Holy Bible translates 1 Corinians 7:3 wi ese wos, Let e husband give due kindness to e wife, and likewise e wife also to e husband. Each one of ese wos or phrases are important in determining e immediate context of e message found in 1 Corinians chapter 7. These wos will also help us understand e principles, which will be applied to an extended application. When working wi a passage we must be careful to deal wi at passage in its proper context. However, it is possible to use certain principles found in a given passage to extend to oer applications as well so long as each is presented in light of and in harmony wi e wo of God. Immediate Context In e immediate context, Paul gives some exhortations which were designed to keep e breren at Corin faiful. Chapter 7 gives instruction concerning marriage. The city of Corin was a coastal city wi a population of about 400,000. Since is city was a prominent center of commerce in e Mediterranean world, it was a place for all sorts of vice. An example of its immorality was found in e temple of Venus (Aphrodite), which hosted 1000 priestesses dedicated to prostitution in e name of religion. The city's close proximity to e city of Aens very likely added intellectualism to e many oer vices found ere. From e beginning of e letter it is evident at is worldly environment had its effect upon e church in Corin. It is a wonder at a church even existed at all in such a wicked city. The apostle tells e Corinians at it would be good during is present time, for e Christians to remain single. However he says at marriage, and e privileges at are associated wi is union were legislated by Divine auority. Every man must determine for himself, seeking counsel from God as to how he can best conduct his life. Because of e present distress it was better for one not to have e obligation at is enjoined wi having a family. Things could be difficult, because wi a family comes responsibilities which must be fulfilled. The distresses to which believers were beginning to be subjected were making e married state less desirable an e single. This condition would be present wiin e body of believers and seemed to escalate just before e destruction of Jerusalem. This fact can be seen in Christ's prophecy of is powerful event (Matew 24:8-21 and Acts 11:28). To fully and properly understand e meaning of 1 Corinians 7:5 we must realize at Paul is not giving a commandment. He is giving good sound advice and encouragement. He qualifies e statements by saying, But I speak is by permission, and not of commandment. The institution Conditional Christianity 23 Annual Mid-West Lectures Page 2 be be sold. For information contact e 39 Street church of Christ, East 39 Street, Independence, MO

3 Toney L. Smi of marriage is auorized in God s plan for mankind. Marriage is e ideal situation in which a man and woman can live and fulfill eir natural desires (Genesis 2:20-23). In fact e Bible encourages marriage so as to fulfill man s many faceted needs bo emotionally and physically. The Hebrew writer said, Marriage is honourable in all, and e bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4). In fact Paul said at ere would be a time when e faiful would fall away from e Lo by giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having eir conscience seared wi a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God ha created to be received wi anksgiving of em which believe and know e tru (1 Timoy 4:1-3). Therefore we can see at Paul is not putting a restriction on e marriage but giving sound advice to ose who were unmarried. Now let us observe e verses leading up to verse 5. To avoid fornication a man and a woman were to have eir own mates. It is only in e marriage bond at e sexual appetite can be fulfilled. To stray from is restriction is to sin (Hebrews 13:4). The phrase let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband shows e relationship is to be monogamous. Every man is to have his own wife and every woman is to have her own husband! The passage goes on to tell us at bo e husband and e wife have an obligation to give e physical rights of marriage one to e oer. It is out of harmony wi e will of God for eier one to wihold emselves from e oer. Verse 4 clearly details is obligation, The wife ha not power of her own body, but e husband: and likewise also e husband ha not power of his own body, but e wife. Her person belongs to her husband; her husband s person belongs to her: neier of em has any auority to refuse what e oer has a matrimonial right to have. Verse ree tells us is is someing which is to be rendered one to e oer. The King James Version says, due benevolence which means kindness, good will and describes e conjugal rights of marriage. Some have rendered e wos as e matrimonial debt, at which a wife owes to her husband, and e husband to his wife. If ere is alienation of affection e consequences can be destructive and could lead to e breaking of e marriage vows. In such cases e wife has to blame herself for e infidelity of her husband, and e husband for at of his wife. In such cases neier could be considered innocent. In his Notes on e New Testament Albert Barnes said at verse 3 speaks of keeping purity and stability in e marriage relationship. He noted, Let em not imagine at ere is any virtue in being separate from each oer, as if ey were in a state of celibacy - Doddridge. They are bound to each oer; in every way ey are to evince kindness, and to seek to promote e happiness and purity of each oer. There is a great deal of delicacy used here by Paul, and his expression is removed as far as possible from e grossness of pagan writers. His meaning is plain; but instead of using a wo to express it which would be indelicate and offensive, he uses one which is not indelicate in e slightest degree. The wo which he uses eunoian, benevolence denotes kindness, good-will, affection of mind. And by e use of e wo due opheilomene n, he reminds em of e sacredness of eir vow, and of e fact at in person, property, and in every respect, ey belong to each oer. It was necessary to give is direction, for e contrary might have been regaed as proper by many who would have supposed ere was special virtue and merit in living separate from each oer; as facts have shown at many have imbibed such an idea - and it was not possible to give e rule wi more delicacy an Paul has done. Many mss., however, instead of due benevolence, read opheile n, Conditional Christianity 23 Annual Mid-West Lectures Page 3 be be sold. For information contact e 39 Street church of Christ, East 39 Street, Independence, MO

4 Toney L. Smi a debt, or at which is owed; and is reading has been adopted by Griesbach in e text. Homer, wi a delicacy not unlike e apostle Paul, uses e wo filote ta, friendship, to express e same idea. (112) Paul continues is line of ought in verse 5 when he writes, Defraud ye not one e oer, except it be wi consent for a time, at ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come togeer again, at Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. In is verse e exception is given. Keeping wi e context we are to understand at e God-given rights found only in e marriage bond is not to be wiheld UNLESS it be wi consent for a time. Wi consent means to be togeer, someing at is in agreement, and some decision at is made togeer. The exception is when bo agree for a period of time. However, is abstinence from e physical relationship is to be short-lived, because if e physical desires are not fulfilled in e marriage relationship, Satan will seek to destroy e home rough e temptation of fornication. It is often e case when ere is too much time spent apart at because of one s incontinency (lack of self-restraint) sin will enter in and in many cases destroy what God ha joined togeer (Matew 19:6). We must note at e time spent apart is to be for a specific purpose. In e Old Testament we are given examples of ose, who due to religious matters were not to have relations wi eir wives. Notice ese verses; And he said unto e people, Be ready against e i day: come not at your wives (Exodus 19:15); And David answered e priest, and said unto him, Of a tru women have been kept from us about ese ree days, since I came out, and e vessels of e young men are holy, and e bread is in a manner common, yea, ough it were sanctified is day in e vessel (1 Samuel 21:5). The point at we must emphasize and understand from is passage is at e purity and harmony of e home is to be maintained. Concerning e marriage, Paul says at sometimes it is better not to be married, yet to avoid fornication marriage is e only avenue in which e physical desires can be realized. Yet in is situation every man is to have his own wife and every woman is to have her own husband. And ey are to render to one anoer at which is due em. This is a beautiful picture of e marriage relationship as God would have it. Extended Applications How Families and Christians Defraud One Anoer The wo defraud as we saw is defined as to keep back, to deprive and to wihold. Please bear in mind we have discussed e context of 1 Corinians 7:1-7 showing e necessity of fulfilling e responsibility of e husband to e wife and of e wife to her husband. Yet, I believe we can make some extended applications of ese same principles. When we consider due benevolence and remember it has to do wi giving or paying a debt which is owed we can also see ere are obligations and responsibilities which are due our families and our breren. To begin wi, we need to realize at we have an obligation to all men. Jesus came to seek and save at which was lost (Luke 19:10). The purpose of His leaving heaven was to save e souls of mankind. In e very beginning when Adam and Eve sinned God made a promise, And I will put enmity between ee and e woman, and between y seed and her seed; it shall bruise y head, and ou shalt bruise his heel (Genesis 3:15). That promise was fulfilled in e coming of Jesus and His life s blood shed at Calvary (John 3:16; Romans 5:8). When e Great Commission was given e Christian was given a charge to Go ye into all e world, and preach e gospel to Conditional Christianity 23 Annual Mid-West Lectures Page 4 be be sold. For information contact e 39 Street church of Christ, East 39 Street, Independence, MO

5 Toney L. Smi every creature (Mark 16:15). This is a debt which we owe. It is a responsibility which we must not neglect. We must not wihold or keep back e saving message of our Lo. Is it possible for us to defraud our breren? I truly believe at not only is it possible, but I am convinced at it is being done on a daily basis. How is is possible, some may ask? I would respond by asking, do we have any responsibility to our breren? Are we sometimes wiholding at which is due em? Let us consider Do we love our breren as God instructs? (John 15:12) Someone said love is e glue at holds lives togeer. I believe is is a true statement. I would go so far as to say at love is e glue which holds congregations togeer. We cannot say we love God wiout loving our breren (1 John 4:20). Jesus said, A new commandment I give unto you, at ye love one anoer; as I have loved you, at ye also love one anoer (John 13:34). Our love for one anoer should be as Jesus demonstrated. It should be wi e same tender affection, willingness to endure trials, to practice self-denial, and, if need be, to lay down our lives for each oer (1 John 3:16). In fact I cannot say I love God and not love my breren (1 John 4:20). I cannot say I love e Lo and keep not His commandments (John 14:15). We have a responsibility to our breren which cannot be wiheld. 1. Do we exhort one anoer (Hebrews 10:24-25)? There are many who do not see e need of assembling wi e saints. However, e Scriptures instructs us to consider one anoer, to provoke unto love and good works: Not forsaking e assembling of ourselves togeer We must not defraud our breren by staying away from e worship assemblies. We should try to exhort one anoer on a regular and ongoing basis. Continually stir each oer to duty, lest you be haened against God's voice by e deceitfulness of sin (Hebrews 3:13). 2. Do we endeavor to keep e unity of e Spirit in e bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3)? Paul had penned an epistle to e church at Corin admonishing em to be united. He had said ey were involved in envying, and strife, and divisions (1 Corinians 3:3). There can be no unity when e mind is set on self. Unity demands a self-emptying attitude. The letter to e Philippians spoke of is true unity, Fulfill ye my joy, at ye be like minded, having e same love, being of one acco, of one mind. Let noing be done rough strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem oer better an emselves (Philippians 2:2-3). We must not defraud one anoer in is matter of Christian unity. 3. Do we seek to restore e erring (Galatians 6:1-2)? The Galatian breren were instructed to fulfill eir responsibility to e erring member. When a broer is overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in e spirit of meekness; considering yself, lest ou also be tempted. The wo fault is a transgression of God s law (1 John 3:4). But notice e admonition given to e ones who are spiritual, restore such an one. This is a duty, an obligation, a responsibility. We must carry out due benevolence (at which is due, required) to our fallen breren. Just as e marriage is a state of mutual obligation e church has mutual obligations as well. Each must yield to e oer by doing whatever ose obligations and requirements might be. 4. Do we go out of our way to be at peace wi our breren (1 Thessalonians 5:13)? The church Conditional Christianity 23 Annual Mid-West Lectures Page 5 be be sold. For information contact e 39 Street church of Christ, East 39 Street, Independence, MO

6 Toney L. Smi cannot grow and prosper under e weight of criticism and divisive mindsets. When an eldership makes a decision which is Biblically sound we have no right to sound off against at decision. An eldership should be given eir due. No member should ever defraud (holdback) e respect and obedience at is due e office of an eldership (Hebrews 13:17). Is it possible for us to defraud our families? If I had e power to change one ing in e church today it would be how families function. By at I mean at families are not carrying out eir God given responsibilities. The church, community, and country would be stronger if families were tending to eir obligations one to anoer. Husbands can defraud eir wives, wives can defraud eir husbands, parents can defraud e children and e children can defraud e parents. We have already discussed how husbands and wives must give due benevolence in e carrying out of e sexual relationship, one owing e oer what is due em. But it can also be said at we have oer obligations to one anoer in which we must be careful not to defraud. 1. The husband is to be e head of his family (Ephesians 5:23). What a great responsibility! The husband is to take control and lead his family. This does not mean at he is to be a dictator. It may be in days gone by at we men have distorted e concept of what e head of e family is to be. To be e head of e family means at he takes into consideration all ings in e making of a decision. But he is responsible to God and to his family to carry out is leadership role. He is to provide for his family (1 Timoy 5:8). He is to teach and train his children (Ephesians 6:4). He is to love his wife as Christ loved e church and gave Himself for it (Ephesians 5:25). Every man who does not provide for e spiritual as well as e physical well being of his family has not met his responsibility and us has defrauded his family. 2. The wife is to be in submission (Ephesians 5:22). The wife and moer are e tenderness of e home. It is moer who will sit up all night wi a sick child and will go rough much travail as she brings her child into is world (John 16:21). Titus 2 gives a good insight into her God-given responsibilities. The older women are to teach e younger women to be sober, to love eir husbands, to love eir children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good obedient to eir own husbands (Titus 2:4-5). Women defraud eir families when ese ings are not learned and carried out. They must not hold back at which is due eir husbands and children. 3. The children are to obey eir parents (Ephesians 6:1-3). Each child has e responsibility to obey eir parents (Romans 1:30). They are to honor e parents (Proverbs 4:1; Deuteronomy 5:16; Exodus 20:12). There is a kind of respect due parents which is due to no oer person on e face of e ear. Honor y faer and y moer, includes esteem for em, obedience to eir lawful commands, come when ey call you, go where ey send you, do what ey ask of you, and refrain from doing what ey forbid. And is, as obedient children should be done in a cheerful way and from a loving heart. How shall a child ever repay e debt owed to godly parents? 4. The parents are to train and correct eir children (Ephesians 6:4; 2 Timoy 1:5). We train by Conditional Christianity 23 Annual Mid-West Lectures Page 6 be be sold. For information contact e 39 Street church of Christ, East 39 Street, Independence, MO

7 Toney L. Smi teaching e wo and en being an example of what is taught. A child must have discipline if ey are to grow in e right direction. The Bible is clear in is obligation. I know is is not a popular ing in our day and time. But it is still God s way (Proverbs 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15; Hebrews 12:7-10). Many shrink back form is obligation and will not carry out is due benevolence. To defraud our children in is area will cause em to dismiss auority in general. 5. Every family member should be concentrating on helping e oers go to heaven. Here is a responsibility at we will all be ankful for one day. When e Judgment of mankind comes, ose who have sought to save eir households will be ankful and will not regret one single moment spent in is endeavor. How many do we know at have defrauded eir families in is area? It takes dedicated effort but love should overshadow every hour, day, mon and year spent in saving our loved ones. I do not want to someday realize at I left behind ings undone in is matter. The rich man did and he was sorry (Luke 16:22-31). Conclusion Satan is alive and he is at his work in a furious manner (1 Peter 5:8). He is ever seeking to divide God s people. He wants to divide us from God. In e very first instance of sin he came into e presence of God s creation to cause e separation of man from God. It is interesting to note at he came to Eve to tempt her when, it appears, she and Adam were apart. She was first tempted and she gave to her husband (1 Timoy 2:14). We must be very careful at THINGS do not separate e family. Sometimes we do not give due benevolence because we are too tied up in oer ings. It can be sports, work, community activities, and a mountain of oer ings. But we must never allow ose ings to keep us from doing our God-given responsibilities. Be careful at we do not defraud one anoer. Wheer it be in e relationship spoken of in 1 Corinians 7:5 or wheer it be in our day-to-day work as a Christian. The import of is passage is found in e phrase except it be wi consent for a time. Never neglect e obligations and responsibilities we have as husbands, wives, children or breren in Christ. Works Cited Strong, Henry. Strong s Hebrew and Greek Dictionary. (E-Swo, Electronic edition. E- swo.com) Thayer, Joseph Henry. Greek-English Lexicon of e New Testament. (E-Swo, Electronic edition, e-swo.com) Barnes, Albert. Notes on e New Testament, 1 Corinians. Baker Book House. Grand Rapids, MI (1949). Conditional Christianity 23 Annual Mid-West Lectures Page 7 be be sold. For information contact e 39 Street church of Christ, East 39 Street, Independence, MO