CONGREGATION HAR SHALOM BAR/BAT MITZVAH MANUAL. A Guide to Becoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah at Congregation Har Shalom Potomac, Maryland

Transcription

1 CONGREGATION HAR SHALOM BAR/BAT MITZVAH MANUAL A Guide to Becoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah at Congregation Har Shalom Potomac, Maryland Revised 2017

2 TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION... 3 PART 1: PLANNING FOR THE SIMHA: A TYPICAL SCHEDULE OF EVENTS... 4 HOW IS THE DATE SELECTED?... 5 A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE SHABBAT MORNING SERVICE... 5 MEALS AND RECEPTIONS... 5 o CateringOptions... 5 o Kitchen Coordination... 5 WHAT ARE THE COST FACTORS? o Standard Fees & Expenses... 4 o Optional Private Reception... 4 HOW CAN THE SERVICE BE ENRICHED? o Family Participation... 7 o Acts of Tzedakah... 7 o Decorations and Candy... 7 PART 2: PREPARING YOUR CHILD HOW ARE SKILLS TAUGHT?... 8 o RELIGIOUS SCHOOL: HAR SHALOM'S PROGRAM FOR GROUP INSTRUCTION o TUTORS: HAR SHALOM'S PROGRAM FOR INDIVIDUAL INSTRUCTION WHAT CAN PARENTS DO TO HELP?... 9 o ATTEND SERVICES REGULARLY... 9 o ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD... 9 WHAT HAPPENS AFTER BAR/BAT MITZVAH?... 9 PART 3: ROLE DURING THE SERVICE IMPORTANCE OF PREPARATION BY GUESTS TABLE: PARTICIPATION BY BAR/BAT MITZVAH & FAMILY PART 4: RITUAL GARMENTS, CUSTOMS, AND OTHER GUIDELINES RITUAL GARMENTS, DRESS AND CUSTOMS GUESTS APPENDIX: Appendix A - Glossary of Terms Appendix B - Fees Appendix C - Kiddush options 2

3 INTRODUCTION Shalom! Mazal tov on reaching this important stage in the Jewish life cycle, and you and your child are looking forward to the celebration of his/hers becoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah. That is an enormously rewarding and soul satisfying experience but the process, at times, can be fraught with anxiety. As a result, Har Shalom has developed this manual to help our families plan and experience a beautiful and moving celebration, one that will create a lasting impression on the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and family. It is our hope that this simha will inspire you and serve as a springboard for increased Jewish communal involvement and meaningful Jewish living. What does it mean to become Bar/Bat Mitzvah? Halachically, according to Jewish law, a person becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah automatically at the age of thirteen without benefit of ceremony or celebration. At the tender age of thirteen a Jewish child becomes obligated to fulfill his/her responsibilities as a Jew. A Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration at Har Shalom offers the family, the child, and the congregation an opportunity to recognize this important milestone in Jewish life. The Bar/Bar Mitzvah celebration empowers the family to affirm its connection with the Jewish past and to proclaim its commitment to a Jewish future. Through it we proclaim our desire to maintain a tradition that we have inherited, and our expectation that the child will carry on that tradition for future generations. The heart of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration is the young person's demonstration of a variety of skills that mark him/her as ready to participate fully in the services. First-time families will marvel at the incredible and immediate spike of self confidence that follows their child s completion of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. This experience is truly a transformation for the child and the entire family. What is the role of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and Family in the Service? At Har Shalom, the child is welcomed into the congregation at a communal service. The service is not designed around the Bar/Bat Mitzvah; instead the Bar/Bat Mitzvah assumes a variety of roles in an established, traditional service roles that, we expect, they will be able to repeat in future services throughout his/her life. These roles often include reading from the Torah, chanting the Haftarah, leading prayers or a reading of the service and delivering a d var Torah. In this way the child begins a journey of lifelong participation in Jewish communal life. We know that no text can answer all your questions; please feel free to reach me at HOzurBass@harshalom.org or , extension 227. L Shalom, Hazzan Henrique Ozur Bass 3

4 PART 1: PLANNING FOR THE SIMHA You will have many things to think of, to plan for, and to worry about; but the experience of other families that have preceded you can be used to your advantage. Not everything needs to be done at once. The accompanying table, "A Typical Schedule," can be used as a guide of what to do, and when to do it. A Typical Schedule 36+ months 24+ months 9-12 months 6-8 months 3-4 months 6-8 weeks 2-3 weeks Attend initial meetings - receive date for Bar/Bat-Mitzvah, and receive this manual. First assessment of Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee and Kiddush fee. Sign up for Kitchen Klub during initial meeting. Upon scheduling your simha s date, consider using Har Shalom s Paul Family Social Hall for your celebration. Regularly attend Shabbat morning services at Har Shalom. Second assessment of Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee and Kiddush fee. Sign up for another Kitchen Klub rotation. Regularly attend Shabbat morning services at Har Shalom. Help your child read Hebrew, regularly. First meeting scheduled with Hazzan. Begin weekly meetings with Hazzan. Your child should be practicing her/his portion daily. Receive materials from the Clergy office and start practicing with your child. Final assessment of Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee and Kiddush fee. Sign up for another Kitchen Klub rotation. Begin planning the Kiddush following Saturday morning services. Regularly attend Shabbat morning services at Har Shalom. Support your child s learning by listening to them chant at least twice a week. Your child should be practicing her/his portion daily. Meet with Facilities Manager and schedule pictures in Sanctuary. Sign up for another Kitchen Klub rotation. First family meeting scheduled with Rabbi. Continue attending services regularly. Student meets with Rabbi to learn portion and begin work on their speech. Donate to Har Shalom to leave a memory of your simha: Megillat Simha leaf, Tree of Life leaf, engraved bricks. Continue attending services regularly. Consider twinning and other Tzedakah options. Finalize speech with Rabbi. Finalize catering and room rental plans with Facilities Manager. Parent or sibling preparation or practice of prayers, Torah readings, D var or other selected roles. Final family meeting with Rabbi to finalize the honors during services. Coordinate candy purchase with Clergy Secretary. If out of town family members are reading Torah, they must be approved by the Hazzan at this point. 1 week Rehearsal with Hazzan in the Burke Sanctuary participating immediate family members should attend if possible. week of Deliver kippot and other items to Clergy Office at least two days before service. 4

5 How is the date selected? In November of the 4th grade year, the clergy office will contact your family to begin the process of selecting a date. You will provide the clergy office with relevant information regarding your preferences, and we will select a date to celebrate your simcha based on those preferences. All the dates will be divulged at a meeting in February of the 4th grade year. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony will be scheduled as close as possible after your child's 13th Hebrew birthday. If a shared ceremony is scheduled, no attempt will be made to match children with similar abilities. Har Shalom is an egalitarian congregation which treats boys and girls equally in scheduling B'nai Mitzvah; a child s gender has no effect or priority for a particular service. Since many aspects of congregational life center around the Shabbat morning service, there may be a speaker or special activity scheduled at the same service. If this should be the case with your child's ceremony, you will be informed well in advance. The Shabbat morning service: a brief description The service is comprised of three parts Shaharit, Torah reading and Musaf and lasts about two hours and a half. While the Torah reading, which includes the chanting of the Torah and Haftarah, provides the principal opportunity for family participation, children and families who are willing and able to learn are encouraged to participate in other parts of the service, such as P sukei D Zimra, Shaharit or the prayers to remove and return the Torah to the Ark. The Musaf service is led by the Hazzan. Meals and Receptions A Kiddush held for the entire Congregation attending the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony immediately follows the service. All who attend services, whether visitors or congregants, share the same food. The Kiddush can range from fairly simple to an elaborate, traditional, sit down lunch. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah family(ies) are responsible for sponsoring the congregational Kiddush. Catering options for the Kiddush Catering will be conducted by the synagogue. Please contact the synagogue s office to discuss details, including menus and payment. Refer to appendix A for menu options. Kitchen Klub Volunteers in the kitchen help keep costs down. Volunteers are needed on Friday with food preparation, anytime between 9:30 AM and 2:30 PM; and on Saturday morning, for serving and food preparation, between 9:30 AM and 1:30 PM. Please sign up through 5

6 What are the cost factors? This section summarizes and explains the fees, expenses, and other financial obligations that are associated with a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Standard fees and expenses: The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Fee is a fixed fee of $1500 charged to the parents of all B'nai Mitzvah. This fee is not a payment for specific services rendered by the Congregation; rather, it makes it possible for Har Shalom to maintain all of the programs and services that relate to Bar/Bat Mitzvah (e.g., clergy, janitorial services, utilities, office staff, Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutoring, and materials). The fee is billed in three annual instalments. Congregational Kiddush: As indicated earlier, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family(ies) are responsible for sponsoring the Congregational Kiddush which always follows morning services on Shabbat or Yom Tov. This charge covers the cost of the Kiddush for the entire Congregation attending the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service, including all guests and congregants who regularly attend Shabbat services. On a typical shabbat morning, there will be 175 congregants in attendance, in addition to your guests. Other congregants celebrating simhas on your child s Bar/Bat Mitzvah date are responsible for paying for their guests. Optional private reception at Har Shalom We encourage families to celebrate their simhas at Har Shalom. For private receptions held at Har Shalom there are additional cost factors. These are listed at appendix B. Har Shalom payment requirements You are required to be current in all your financial synagogue obligations (including dues, building fund, tuition, and all special fees and expenses as outlined above). Unless you are current, a Bar/Bat Mitzvah date will not be scheduled for your child, you may not contract to use synagogue facilities, schedule Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutoring or celebrate the Bar/Bat Mitzvah in the synagogue. If you become delinquent following the scheduling of the date and do not bring your account current or arrange for payments satisfactory to the Financial Secretary, your child s date and all related activities will be suspended. 6

7 How can the service be enriched? There are several ways in which you can add to the meaning of the service. Some of the available options are described in this section. Family Participation Involving the family in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service demonstrates to the child the importance of the religious service as the primary event being celebrated. Siblings can learn a new prayer or read Torah. This is also a wonderful opportunity for parents to learn new skills. Many parents choose to learn (or brush up on) how to read Torah trop so that they can read a Torah reading at their child s Bar/Bat Mitzvah service or better assist their child in practicing his/her Torah reading(s). Har Shalom offers many Adult Education classes that can enrich the parent s experience in celebrating a child s Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Private tutoring is also available for parents. Acts of Tzedakah Parents are encouraged to express their thankfulness for the occasion through an act of tzedakah, some of which are appropriate for mention or presentation at the service. One notable tzedakah, singled out by our Board of Directors, is Mazon: A Jewish Response to Hunger; arrangements to contribute to Mazon can be made with our Rabbi. The Rabbi, Hazzan, or Clergy Secretary can offer additional suggestions in keeping with the family s interests. Bar/Bat-Mitzvah project We encourage each student to contribute to the community at large by volunteering their time or resources. Please consult with the Rabbi or the Hazzan about Bar/Bat-Mitzvah projects. Decorations and Candy The family may provide flowers for the Ark Bima and decorations for the Paul Family Social Hall. The family may also wish to purchase candy to be showered upon the Bar/Bat Mitzvah during the service, in recognition of the sweetness and joy of the occasion. Please contact the Clergy Secretary to arrange for the candy to be distributed at services; an $8 check (payable to Har Shalom Sisterhood) covers 30 pieces of Sunkist gummy candies. Flowers and decorations must be delivered to the synagogue by 2 p.m. on Friday before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. If you wish to use the dry-flower arrangement to decorate the bimah, please contact our Facilities Manager. 7

8 PART 2: PREPARING YOUR CHILD The responsibility for a meaningful Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony is shared by Har Shalom and the family. In this section we discuss Har Shalom's responsibility of providing for your child's education and training, and the family's vital role in becoming actively involved with the training program. How are skills taught? Religious School: Har Shalom's program for group instruction The primary role of the Har Shalom Religious School is to familiarize your child with significant aspects of our Jewish heritage; a secondary role is to train your child in particular skills used in Congregational services. Tutoring schedule: The synagogue will provide approximately nine months of individual lessons with the Hazzan before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. Approximately 10 months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony, parents are contacted by the Clergy Office to arrange a meeting, at which time a program of individual instruction will be established. Material covered in individual tutoring lessons: The material covered in these lessons is prioritized and taught sequentially; a student must demonstrate proficiency in each skill before the student is allowed to begin learning the next skill set. The material, in priority order, consists of the following: Review of basic Jewish skills with which all B'nai Mitzvah should be familiar, including Hebrew reading, prayers, Torah trope, and Haftarah trope. Some, but not all, of the prayers your child has learned (or re-learns at this time) may be chanted by him/her during the Bar/Bat Mitzvah weekend. Preparation of the student's specific Torah and Haftarah reading and associated blessings. Optionally, additional Torah readings, and/or preparation to lead parts of the service. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is encouraged to do as much as s/he is able and interested in doing. At the first meeting with the Hazzan or at any later time that the child expresses an interest, s/he should inform the Hazzan as early as possible of any particular prayers in the service that s/he would like to be permitted to lead. Of course, a Bar/Bat Mitzvah will only chant or lead prayers that have been adequately learned. In addition, each child delivers a d'var Torah during the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. The Rabbi will assist in clarifying the Torah reading, choosing a message, and reviewing the speech. The d'var Torah is intended to be primarily the product of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah's own efforts. Parents can be especially helpful in assisting the child s confidence in delivering their speech by offering several rehearsal opportunities at home. Parents are asked to introduce the Haftarah during the service. Reports to Parents: We use Google Docs to keep you updated of all that your child is learning. A link will be ed to the parent during the first meeting with the Hazzan. Daily Practice: Daily practice is critical to acquiring proficiency and ensuring that the child will feel successful at his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah. It is important that the student devote a minimum of 30 minutes per day at home to studying trope, Torah/Haftarah chanting, and prayers. 8

9 Study Materials: The Congregation provides materials that assist the child in his/her studies. These include: A recording of basic Bar/Bat Mitzvah skills, with accompanying booklet. Translations and commentaries of Torah and Haftarah readings. Other materials, as needed, including a recording of the student s Torah and Haftarah readings. All of those materials may also be found online at Children who attend Har Shalom s Religious School are provided with a Siddur at the Third Grade Haggigat HaSiddur. We encourage families to use it to prepare for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony or to purchase additional copies at a Jewish bookstore. What can parents do to help? Preparations for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony require a substantial amount of your child's time and effort, and may involve the rescheduling of other normal activities. Parents play an essential role in fostering a positive attitude by showing their continued support and enthusiasm for their child's Jewish studies. With the support of parents, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration can become a positive, creative, and authentic Jewish experience. Some suggestions follow o Attend services regularly: Make synagogue attendance part of your family s normal weekend schedule. This will enable your child to meet his/her Youth Services attendance requirement and become fluent in Hebrew prayers. In particular, for at least six months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony, attend services as a family. In addition to familiarizing you and your child with our service, traditions and melodies, you convey to your child the message that Jewish life is more important than just the celebration of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, and that the service as well as the Bar/Bat Mitzvah reception has meaning and value for you. The current requirement for minimum service attendance is to attend 18 Shabbat morning services in the 18 months preceding the date when your child will be celebrating his/her becoming a Bar/Bat-Mitzvah at Har Shalom. o Encourage your child: You can help your child by taking an interest in the content of your child's studies and monitoring his/her progress. You can assist your child by listening regularly to rehearsals of prayers, his/her Torah and Haftarah readings and his/her d'var Torah. Knowledge of the skills is not necessary for your participation; your encouragement and willingness to listen are more important. Significantly, practicing in front of you and other family members will help your child to master the necessary skills and to gain the confidence to chant proficiently in front of the congregation. By listening and participating, you can help your child achieve fluency and comfort with the texts. You can also support your child by allowing him/her to take on as much responsibility as possible, and by taking on educational challenges yourselves. A child s upcoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah can be a wonderful opportunity for parents to show their support and interest by learning new skills. You may ask for additional meetings with the Rabbi, Hazzan, or Facilities Manager as you see the need. 9

10 An additional way of highlighting the centrality of Jewish life during the period of preparation is to enhance the rituals in your home. The synagogue staff can help you enhance your observances. You might, also, look for gifts that symbolize Jewish maturity, such as a tallit, t fillin, a yad or a shofar. Kippot, tallitot, t'fillin sets, yadot and shofarot are available in our gift shop and in Jewish bookstores. What happens after Bar/Bat Mitzvah? Bar/Bat Mitzvah is just the beginning. Following his/her becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, one can demonstrate his/her commitment to the Jewish community in the following ways: continuing religious education, reading Torah & leading prayers, Youth Group membership, and becoming a member of Yad Squad. One becomes a member of the Yad Squad by reading Torah five times in the main service at Har Shalom. 10

11 PART 3: ROLE DURING THE SERVICE The Bar/Bat Mitzvah's participation will be commensurate with his/her Jewish commitment, attitude, and skill. We stress the quality, not only the quantity of his/her participation, and expect that family members will prepare diligently as well, for any roles they wish to undertake. The decision on the extent of participation by a Bar/Bat Mitzvah and his/her family will be made by the Rabbi and the Hazzan in consultation with the family. There are three important considerations that will influence their decision: The participation of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and his/her family must conform to a standard of quality and personal commitment that provides the Congregation a meaningful service. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah and his/her family share in leading the congregation, leaving room for other family simhas and participation. The service will not be unduly lengthened or reconfigured. Family and extended family are encouraged to read from the Torah. The family should discuss this participation at an early meeting with the Hazzan or Rabbi, well in advance of the simha. This advance planning will both afford the participants sufficient time to prepare and also prevent conflicts that might otherwise occur if the Congregation assigns portions to other readers. Guests who are participating in services, either by chanting from the Torah or by leading prayers must be vetted by the Hazzan no later than 10 days prior to the simha. Importance of preparation by guests As discussed earlier, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will receive education and training to prepare for his/her role in the service. It is equally important for family members and other included guests (grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles) to prepare for their assigned roles. To that end, the family honors that are described in this section should be assigned in advance, and participants should be encouraged to seek help in preparing for their parts, either from their own clergy or by contacting the Hazzan. It is important for family honors to be rehearsed before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. This benefits not only the congregation, but also ensures the comfort of the participant and avoids embarrassment that may otherwise unnecessarily arise. Guidelines that may be of help to participants can be found in Part 4 of this manual, "Guide to Participation." All guests in attendance during the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service should be aware of and willing to abide by Har Shalom s ritual dress requirements. Men are required and women are encouraged to wear a tallit for all honors. Men and women, alike, are required to wear a head covering when participating at services with an honor. Girls should wear skirts or dresses of appropriate length, or dress slacks. Shoulders should be covered. Boys should wear dress slacks and a button-down shirt (jackets and ties are optional). All boys and men who are visiting Har Shalom are asked to wear a kippah, or head covering, which will be provided at the synagogue (girls and women may choose to wear one) while in the building. Friday Night service Every bat/bar-mitzvah is required to attend services on the Friday evening prior to her/his bat/bar-mitzvah. We expect the student to lead the Friday night Kiddush. Other prayers are available for the student, if s/he is willing/able to lead them. 11

12 Participation by Bar/Bat Mitzvah & Family Friday night Kiddush Tallit presentation Ark opening & closing during Torah removal (petiha) Yes Yes 2-4 people D'var Torah/D var Haftarah Yes 1 Family aliyot (including parents, excluding Bar/Bat Mitzvah) 3 Parents Sheptaranu Bar/Bat Mitzvah aliyah Bar/Bat Mitzvah Torah reading Sheheheyanu (family ) Candy shower Hagbah (lifting the Torah) Gelilah (binding the Torah) Yes Yes Yes Yes Optional Assigned to a congregant 1 person D var Haftarah (introduction) Yes 1 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Haftarah reading Ark opening & closing during Torah return (petiha) Prayer for Country (English) Prayer for Israel (Hebrew) Shabbat morning Kiddush Yes 2-4 people 1 person 1 person Yes Notes: 1 For a single, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will give a d'var Torah; a parent may deliver the d var Haftarah. For a shared, one Bar/Bat Mitzvah will give a d var Torah, the second will give a d var Haftarah. 12

13 PART 4: RITUAL GARMENTS, CUSTOMS, AND OTHER GUIDELINES Ritual garments, dress and customs All congregants and guests are encouraged to wear a head covering kippah whenever they are in the synagogue building. Men and boys (other than babies) are required to wear a kippah at all times. Women and girls are required to wear a head covering whenever they come forward for any honor. Many families choose to purchase new kippot for the congregation and their guests in honor of their child s becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah. They can be ordered online or through a Judaica shop. All Jewish congregants and guests (age 13 and older) are encouraged to wear a tallit at services. Every Bar/Bat Mitzvah should wear a tallit at his/her service. It is important that all congregants and guests wear a tallit at the time of an assigned aliyah or other Torah honor, and then for the remainder of the service. Tallitot are available at all services. Tallitot are not worn on Friday evening. Congregants and guests should dress in a manner that is respectful of the sanctity of religious services. All electronic devices are to be turned off during services and the kidush that follows it. Guests Guests of all religious backgrounds are welcome at Har Shalom's services. Whether or not they are Jewish, your guests may be unfamiliar with Har Shalom s customs and requirements and may appreciate some advance information. You may wish to familiarize your family and guests with our customs as described in this manual by including an insert in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah invitation. You should inform your guests of the schedules for the appropriate services: Friday evening services. 6:30 PM - 7:30 PM Shabbat morning services. 9:30 AM - 12:30 PM Invite your guests to take their seats near you in the forward part of the Sanctuary. The family may, of course, greet arriving guests before services; but the family should be at their seats at the start of services, and avoid further social greetings until the Kiddush that follows the service. Your guests should be aware that gifts should never be brought into the sanctuary; on Shabbat and Yom Tov, gifts should not be brought into the synagogue building. Smoking is never permitted in the sanctuary or in any other part of the building; smoking is not permitted on the grounds of the synagogue on Shabbat. 13

14 Pictures may not be taken during or after the service at the synagogue; cameras, whether photographic or video) may not be brought into the synagogue on Shabbat. Recording devices may not be brought to services either. Please do not use cell phones to make calls or send texts from anywhere inside the synagogue building; if carried, they must be turned off before entering the synagogue. No electronic devices may be used in the synagogue building on Shabbat. If you or your guests have any questions before or during your visit, please don t hesitate to ask an usher, a member of the clergy, or one of our many friendly members. The family can schedule a photographic session during the week preceding the Bar/Bat Mitzvah by contacting the Facilities Manager. It is advisable to schedule the session in advance, preferably before or after the rehearsal, to ensure that the sanctuary will be available. Guidelines for the pictures will be discussed by the Facilities Manager. 14

15 APPENDIX A: GLOSSARY OF TERMS Adon Olam - A closing prayer that concludes the Shabbat service. This prayer is often lead by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, siblings and/or cousins. Aleinu - A hymn of praise sung immediately before the recitation of the Mourner's Kaddish at the end of the service. This prayer is often lead by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, siblings and/or cousins. An im Z'mirot - A hymn of praise that is sung at the conclusion of the Shabbat service. (Also referred to as Shir Hakavod.) Aron HaKodesh/Ark The beautifully decorated cabinet at the front of the sanctuary that holds the congregation s Torah scrolls. Aliyah (pl. aliyot) - The "going up" of a worshipper to the bimah (raised platform in the center of the Congregation) in order to recite the blessings before and after the reading of a portion of the Torah. The person selected for this role is called an oleh/olah (m./f.). Bar/Bat Mitzvah (m./f.); (pl. B'nai Mitzvah) A person who has attained the age of religious maturity. A person automatically becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at age 13. Barkhu - A preliminary prayer in many religious services, including Shaharit, Minha and Ma ariv; specifically, the call to prayer. Bimah - The raised platform from which the Torah is read. At Har Shalom, the bimah is placed in the midst of the Congregation. Birkat Hamazon - A prayer of thanksgiving said following meals; grace. B'rakha - A statement of praise of God, beginning with the words "Praised are You, Adonai our God."; blessing. D'var Torah an explanation of the Torah reading, highlighting a theme meaningful to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and presenting a message for the larger community. D'var Haftarah - an explanation of the Haftarah reading, highlighting a theme meaningful to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah or parent, and presenting a message for the larger community. Ein Keloheinu A closing prayer that concludes the Shabbat service. This prayer is often lead by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, siblings and/or cousins. Gabbai (pl. gabbayim) - As currently used, a person who assigns parts (including aliyot) for the reading of the Torah, or who helps in the proper reading of the Torah. The Gabbai will assist you and those of your guests and family members who have been assigned honors. Gelilah - The honor of rolling up and dressing the Torah scroll after it has been read. The person so honored is called the Goleyl/ Golelet (m./f.). Grace after meals - See Birkat Hamazon. Haftarah - The section of the book of Prophets read following the reading of the Torah. Hagba'ah - The honor of raising the open Torah scroll so that it may be seen by the Congregation after it has been read. The person so-honored is called Magbiah. Hakhnasah - The honor of returning the Torah to the Ark. 15

16 Hallah (or Challah) - A tasty, usually braided loaf of egg bread, traditionally used to begin a meal on Shabbat and Jewish holidays. Hallel - A selection of psalms included in certain services, such as during holidays or Rosh Hodesh. Hamotzi - The blessing recited before eating bread, hence, typically, before beginning any meal. This blessing is recited after the end of Shabbat morning services. Havdalah - A short series of prayers recited at the conclusion of Shabbat or a festival to distinguish those special days from the ordinary day that follows. Hol Ha'moed - The minor days of a festival week, those between the more restrictive beginning and ending days. See Yom Tov. Hotza'ah - The honor of removing the Torah from the Ark. Humash (pl. humashim) - The five books of Moses; also called Pentateuch. The humash contains the same text as the Torah scroll: Genesis/B reishit, Exodus/Sh mot, Leviticus/Vayikra, Numbers/B midbar and Deuteronomy/D varim. Israelite - A Jew who is neither a Kohen nor a Levi. (See Kohen, Levi.) Kabbalat Shabbat - The Friday evening service that welcomes the Shabbat. Kaddish - A prayer of praise used to designate the end of a section of a service. Kashrut - Rules regarding what is Kosher, i.e., ritually fit for eating. Kiddush (1) Sanctification; hence the praises to God recited before drinking a cup of wine while ushering in Shabbat or Yom Tov; (2) the reception that takes place after Shabbat and Yom Tov morning services when food is served to the congregation. Kippah (pl. kippot) - A skull-cap; a yarmulke; head covering. Kohen - A descendent of the Biblical priests; in some congregations (but not at Har Shalom) the first aliyah is reserved for a Kohen. See Levi and Israelite. Levi - A descendent of the Biblical tribe of Levi; in some congregations (but not at Har Shalom) the second aliyah is reserved for a Levi. See Kohen and Israelite. Ma'ariv - The evening prayer service. Maftir - The last person called up to the reading of the Torah (i.e., the person having the last aliyah). Following the Torah reading, the maftir reads the appropriate portion from the Prophets (i.e., the Haftarah). Magbiah - See hagba'ah. Mantle - The decorative covering for the Torah scroll. Mashgiah - A supervisor whose function is to ensure that the rules of Kashrut are being observed. Megillat Simha - A plaque in the Har Shalom lobby, in the shape of a scroll, on which congregants may have commemorative inscriptions mounted. Minha - The afternoon prayer service. Minyan - The quorum of ten required for public worship. 16

17 Mi Shebayrakh - A special prayer (named for its initial words) offered following the reading of a portion of the Torah, either in honor of the person called for that reading, or on behalf of some sick person. Mitzvah (pl. mitzvot) - A divine commandment; Jewish ritual or ethical obligation. Musaf The additional service that takes place on Shabbat, Yom Tov and Rosh Hodesh, following the Torah service. Nusah - Melodic patterns used in certain parts of certain services; also, standard texts adopted by particular Jewish communities. Oleh/olah - See aliyah. Parasha - One of the weekly portions of the Torah in the yearly cycle of readings; to be read on a particular Shabbat. Petiha - The honor of opening and/or closing the Ark. P'seukei D'Zimra The introductory "warmup", a collection of Psalms recited before the Shaharit service. Rosh Hodesh - The beginning of a Jewish lunar month. Sefer Torah (pl. Sifrei Torah) - the Scroll on which the Torah (i.e., the Pentateuch) is written. Se'udah shelishit (alternatively, Shalesh Seudes) - By tradition, the third meal of Shabbat, eaten after Minha (the afternoon service) and before sunset. The two prior meals are the Friday evening meal, and the Shabbat morning meal following Shaharit (the morning service). Shabbat (pl. Shabbatot) - Sabbath; Saturday. Shabbat begins at sundown on Friday evening and ends after sundown on Saturday night. Shabbat religious services include: the Friday evening service: Kabbalat Shabbat and Ma ariv; the Shabbat morning service: Shaharit/Torah/Musaf; the Shabbat afternoon service: Minha; and the final brief ceremony following Minha and Ma ariv, called Havdalah, which marks the conclusion of Shabbat. Shaharit - The morning service which follows Psukei D Zimra. Sheheheyanu - A prayer of thanksgiving. (Recited by all members of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah s extended family at the central service.) Sheptaranu - A prayer recited by parents of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah expressing thanks that their child now is responsible for his/her own religious behavior. Shofar - The horn of an animal, used as a trumpet. Shir ha-kavod See Anim Zemirot. Shulhan - The table or desk on the bimah (raised platform) from which the Torah is read. Sh'ma Yisrael - "Hear O Israel", a key passage from the Torah included in most services. Siddur (pl. siddurim) - A prayer book. Simha - A joyful celebration; frequently used in this manual to describe the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration. T'fillah (pl. t'fillot) - Prayer. 17

18 T'fillin Leather prayer boxes containing four scriptural passages strapped to the arm and forehead, signifying allegiance to God with body and mind; worn only during morning services on days other than Shabbat and Yom Tov. Tallit (pl. tallitot) - A prayer shawl with fringes (tzitzit) and an atara. Tikun - A study book in which the Torah text, as it appears in the Torah scroll (i.e., without vowels or musical accents) is placed side by side with the same Hebrew text containing vowels and accents. Torah Portion - A parasha, i.e., one of the sections of the Torah, in the yearly cycle of readings, to be read on a particular Shabbat. (Har Shalom is on a triennial cycle, and therefore reads one-third of the traditional parasha each week.) Also, one of the several divisions of a parasha read for a single aliyah. Torah Scroll - See Sefer Torah. Torah Service The ceremony for removing the Torah scroll from the Aron HaKodesh, the reading of the Torah and the returning of the Torah to the Aron HaKodesh. On Shabbat and Yom Tov mornings, it includes the reading of the Haftarah. Trop - The melodic chant patterns used in the reading of any of the books of the Bible during services. The chant varies based on the book (Torah, haftorah, other scrolls) and the occasion for the service (special Trop is used for some holidays). Tzedakah Literally "justice" or "righteousness," usually translated, somewhat inaccurately, as "charity." V'shamru - A passage from the Torah sung as a preliminary to the Saturday morning kiddush. Yad - (Literally, "hand") A pointer, the end of which is commonly shaped as a hand, used to keep the place during the reading of the Torah. Yom Tov - A Jewish holy day. In particular, as used in this manual, a term that designates the beginning and ending days of a festival week (the "primary days") from the less restrictive intermediate days. (Sukkot, Pesah and Shavuot.) See Hol Hamoed. 18

19 Appendix B B nai Mitzvah Cost Sheet B nai Mitzvah Administrative Fee: $1,500 per child Catering: Parents of a child who have scheduled a Saturday morning B'nai Mitzvah are required to sponsor a Kiddush after the service. Kiddush: o If using an outside caterer $250 to the synagogue plus costs to outside caterer (you need to plan to include 175 congregants in your final count) o Synagogue Kiddush options starting at $1,750 Social Hall Rental for Reception: o With a dance floor (required if having dancing) - $3,300 o Without a dance floor - $1,800 Shabbat Dinner: $250 room rental (includes set up and paper goods) You are responsible for ordering your own food, Kitchen Manager can help if you need 19

20 Appendix C Kiddush and In-House Catering Menu 2017 Standard Dairy Kiddush* Silver: $10 per person Gold: $12 per person Platinum: $15 per person Mini Bagels Full-sized Bagels Full-sized Bagels Cream Cheese Cream Cheese Cream Cheese Tuna Salad Tuna Salad Tuna Salad Gefilte Fish with Horseradish Gefilte Fish with Horseradish Gefilte Fish with Horseradish Pita and Hummus Pita and Hummus Pita and Hummus Olives and Pickles Olives and Pickles Olives and Pickles Mini Pizza Bagels Mini Pizza Bagels Mini Pizza Bagels Assorted Fruit Assorted Fruit Assorted Fruit Assorted Cut Vegetables Assorted Cut Vegetables Assorted Cut Vegetables Assorted Desserts Assorted Desserts Assorted Desserts Challah Challah Challah Grape Juice and Wine Grape Juice and Wine Grape Juice and Wine Coffee, Tea, Water, Lemonade Standard A La Carte Items: Coffee, Tea, Water, Lemonade Egg Salad 20 Coffee, Tea, Water, Lemonade Egg Salad Whitefish Salad Lox Spread Kugel Item Options Cost Lox $2.00 per person Herring Cream or Wine Sauce $1.00 per person Kugel Noodle (pareve or dairy), $1.00 per person Broccoli, Potato Lettuce Salad Garden, Spinach, Caesar $1.00 per person Side Salads Cucumber, Israeli, Pasta, $1.00 per person Bean, etc. Ice Cream Sundae Bar $1.00 per person Full Sheet Cake Chocolate, Yellow, or Marble Cake; Chocolate or White Icing $75 flat rate

21 2017 Premium Meat Kiddush* Silver: $12 per person Gold: $14 per person Platinum: $20 per person 6 deli sub Deli platters: Turkey, Corned Shwarma Platters Beef, Roast Beef, Pastrami 6 tuna sub Rye Bread and Challah Rolls Falafel Platters 6 veggie sub Potato Chips Pita Potato chips Tuna Salad Assorted Israeli Salads, Sauces, and Garnishes 2 side salads (coleslaw, potato salad, Israeli salad, health salad, pasta salad, etc.) Pickles Egg Salad 2 side salads (coleslaw, potato salad, Israeli salad, health salad, pasta salad, etc.) Tuna Salad Egg Salad Assorted Fruit Pickles Pickles Assorted Desserts Assorted Fruit Assorted Fruit Challah Assorted Desserts Assorted Desserts Grape Juice and Wine Challah Challah Coffee, Tea, Water, Lemonade Grape Juice and Wine Coffee, Tea, Water, Lemonade Grape Juice and Wine Coffee, Tea, Water, Lemonade *Prices subject to change 21