Celebrating a Tradition of Deep Connection and Innovation

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1 TBT B'nai Mitzvah Year Celebrating a Tradition of Deep Connection and Innovation Bar and Bat Mitzvah at TBT is an opportunity for children and families to connect to a wide spectrum of Jewish experiences, to live Jewish values as a community. Mitzvah age symbolizes the time in which according to Jewish tradition children become formally partners in shaping our society. That's why at TBT we are committed through meaningful activities to facilitate each child's individual connection with Jewish tradition. Bar and Bat Mitzvah program at TBT spreads over an entire year full of exploring and learning. We will seek from the depths of our millenary culture for mindfulness, ethics, social justice, environmental awareness, tradition and innovation, etc. Our Bar/Bat Mitzvah year is a nurturing environment in which children develop and strengthen their self- esteem and confidence, community awareness and a deep connection to their Jewish identity.

2 The Program in highlights Experiential learning: values based activities Beit Midrash: Torah learning, text- based discussion connected to action, values, and ethical exploration - Recognizing various Jewish sources. Exploring spirituality and prayer- Opening the Gates of Self Awareness. 1 Overnight Family Shabbaton Experience. 4 Shabbat Dinners - Bringing Judaism and Community to our homes. Mitzvah Project: volunteering in an area of choice - Social - Environmental Awareness. Torah Chanting - Joining the chain of a millenarian tradition. D'var torah (sermon) preparation - Opening the gates of Public Speaking. REQUIREMENTS AND EXPECTATIONS: CHECK LIST 1 I have participated in the youth activities at TBT every Saturday and special Bar/Bat Mitzvah activities 2 I have taken part in all the social action activities that my group has been involved in. 3 I have a list of the 10 Jewish values and practices most important for me at this point of my life 4 I know all the Shabbat Blessing: Candles/ Complete Kiddush/Netilat Yadayim/ Hamotzi/Birkat Hamazon (Shalom Aleichem - Veshamru) 5 I have written at least 10 times in my "Tefilah Journal" 6 I am capable to read in Hebrew (TBT offers a great space for Hebrew study on Wednesday afternoons) 7 I have come to congregation services at least once a month (beyond family services) 8 I have participated in my class environmental activities 9 I have planned and executed my own Mitzvah project/ Including a 2 minutes YouTube clip to raise awareness to my project. (This can be exchanged by other art- media presentations that will help people to learn about your project) 10 I have participated in my class service on a Sunday morning in which we all wore for the first time tefilin! 11 I am capable to lead a service 12 I know the blessings for Torah reading and I can chant my portion. 13 I have prepared a D'var Torah to share with the community. Check

3 PROCESS SETTING YOUR BAR/BAT MITZVAH DATE This process is to be followed in applying for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah date: 1. The family requests a Bar/Bat Mitzvah application (see Appendix A) from the Temple office. 2. The completed application should be submitted to the Temple office, accompanied by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee ($800.00). A first and second choice of preferred dates should be indicated on the application. Your completed application may be submitted to the office no more than two years prior to the requested date. 3. Please schedule 3 meetings with the rabbi. The first one immediately, the second one 2 months before the ceremony and the last one a month before the ceremony. YOUR ALYA L'TORAH - BEING CALLED UP TO THE TORAH At TBT we are very proud to have our B'nai Mitzvah conducting a part of our congregational service in addition to being called to read from Torah and Haftarah. The extent of his/her participation in leading the Friday evening and Saturday morning services will be determined by the desire of the candidate and his or her level of proficiency as judged by the Rabbi and Cantor. Bar/Bat Mitzvah students meet individually with the Rabbi and Cantor. The instruction in chanting the Torah and Haftarah portions is offered by our Cantor. This instruction is 30 minutes each week, in addition to regular Religious and Hebrew school studies, and does not take place during school hours. The Cantor will determine when the candidate should formally start training. This is usually six to eight months prior to the assigned date. All seventh grade students are furnished with a copy of our prayer book, Mishkan T filah and the Journal edition, and a booklet containing their Torah and Haftarah portions. About four to six months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, students should schedule an individual appointment with the Rabbi to begin preparing their D'var Torah (see Appendix F for outline of speech). Students should come to this meeting with an outline or brief paragraph summarizing the section of the Torah portion they have chosen and from which they will develop a three to five minute D'var Torah. One or two weeks prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service, a "rehearsal" will be scheduled. At that time, the Rabbi and Cantor will review the entire service with your family members.

4 ORDER OF THE SERVICE AND YOUR PERSONAL TOUCH Please see appendix E - Service Model - as a reference to the order of the service. Some families choose to print their own program with the order of the service. If you wish to do so, please coordinate with the TBT office and get approval for your intended print-out at least 2 weeks in advance. Our T'filah leaders often share intentions (Kavanot) or special texts and integrate those in the service. This is a beautiful custom which deepens our connection to the prayer. We encourage our B'nai Mitzvah to do the same when they are leading the congregation in prayer. We are also happy to hear of any special talents the Bar/Bat Mitzvah may have which can add to the service. Please coordinate with the Rabbi and submit any texts in writing three weeks prior to the service. Parents should meet with the Rabbi at least one month prior to the service to get approval of any special readings, presentations, or songs the family may wish to include. An optional parents blessing to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate may be delivered during the tallit presentation (Please see "parents prayer" as an example). We are happy to honor the family and friends of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah with being called to the Torah (saying the Torah blessings). Please note that one Alyah will be reserved to TBT's discretion. People saying the blessings must be Jewish, over the age of 13, and familiar with the Torah blessings. Non-Jewish relatives may accompany those called the Torah. Please note that we will need both the English and Hebrew names of all who will be honored by being called to the Torah. YOUR MITZVA PROJECT The mitzvah project consists in 13 hours of volunteer work and it should be discus with the Director of Education and the coordinator of the program immediately following the application. TBT'S TRADITION The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will conduct parts of the service in addition to chanting from the Torah and Haftarah. The Rabbi, Cantor, and Bar/Bat Mitzvah determine the extent of participation. It is traditional at our Temple that at least three aliyot plus maftir are read from the Torah. A maximum of seven aliyot plus maftir is permitted subject to discussion with the Rabbi and Cantor. We request that every person called to the Torah wears a Tallit. Kippot and tallitot are available in the foyer for your guests. Due to the small number of tallitot the congregation owns, please encourage your family members and guests to bring their own tallit. As a part of the service, a representative of the Temple will make a special presentation to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Non-Jewish parents and family members are welcome to participate in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. Please note that the recitation of any prayer containing a bracha is restricted to Jews. This includes the blessing over the Shabbat candles, Kiddush and aliyah to the Torah. However non Jews may participate in such blessing, accompanying a Jew.

5 INTRODUCING YOU TO THE COMMUNITY An announcement of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will go into the Scroll. Please submit a short Bio - article with a picture (school pictures work well) to the Temple office, which highlights your child's accomplishments. This must be submitted by the 10 th of the month preceding the Bar/Bat Mitzvah in order to be included in the Scroll. FAMILY PARTICIPATION AT FRIDAY SERVICES The family will be honored with the lighting of Shabbat candles on the Friday before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Please make certain that all family participants arrive on time. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will lead the congregational Kiddush. Please note that while the congregation is happy to celebrate your ceremony, the services are not private, but a part of our regular Shabbat worship. SHABBAT MORNING SERVICE The service is a public worship service and as such you do not need to act as hosts until after the service. This does not mean that you may not greet your friends as they arrive, but it does mean that they will be seated more quickly if you do not form groups around the entrance door. Please advise your guests to have their children sit with them. It is helpful to have one family member or friend designated as a greeter. The front pews are reserved for you, your relatives and close friends.

6 OUR CUSTOMS - MINHAGIM Let respect for the community always be with you. R Isaac, Talmud Bavli, Sotah 40a Sacred Time, Space and Celebration Shabbat and holidays are sacred time when we try to live and experience life in an elevated way. Traditionally this is accomplished in two ways; by adding special prayers and by removing those objects and activities that can divert our focus. We ask you to not to use any electronic device inside the Synagogue. Photographs should NOT be taken during the service by guests in attendance. Professional photographers may take pictures during the service provided that they remain in the rear of the sanctuary, do not use any flash device, and do not disturb those in attendance. Photographs may also be taken until 9:30 a.m. on Saturday morning or during the rehearsal. TBT Men's Club is happy to offer videotaping services, please see appendix B Please note that our kitchen keeps a Kosher style. Temple Beth Tikvah does NOT allow pork products or shellfish to be served on the premises. Dairy and meat products may NOT be mixed. We wait for 90 minutes between meat and dairy products. If you wish to use the Temple facilities for a luncheon or dinner reception. Please confirm your arrangements with the Temple office. It is traditional that the family of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah sponsors the Oneg Shabbat following the Friday evening service and the Kiddush following the Saturday morning service. Our temple will coordinate these events and arrange a beautiful and elegant Oneg Shabbat to enhance your family's simcha. (See appendix C). TBT will provide its regular Friday and Saturday Kiddush. If you would like to have a different Kiddush please contact TBT's office. Sacred Books Siddurim (prayerbooks) and Humashim (Bibles) are sacred books. They should never be placed on the floor; they should be kept in one s lap or on the seats. Kippot & Tallitot Men are encouraged to cover their heads while inside of the sanctuary. There are baskets of kippot (yarmulkes) provided for those who do not bring their own. It is customary for Jews over the age of Bar/Bat Mitzvah to wear a tallit (prayer shawl) when attending morning services. Communal tallitot are provided for those who do not bring their own.

7 APPENDIX A BAR/BAT MITZVAH APPLICATION FORM I/We wish to apply for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah date and understand the requirements as put forth in the Temple Bar/Bat Mitzvah guidelines. I/We understand that I/we must remain in good financial standing in order for the celebration to take place and that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee ($800.00) must be paid in full prior to requesting a date. I/We understand that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee is non-refundable. I/We promise that our child will continue his/her Jewish education through post B'nai Mitzvah group (our Leadership Program) as this is part of Temple Beth Tikvah's requirements for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. It is also understood that the candidate must be thirteen (13) years of age on or prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. I/We realize that this date, when issued, is a tentative date and is subject to the continuing acceptable performance of the candidate in maintaining his/her knowledge and proficiency as well as my/our continuing good financial standing in the Temple. I/We have read and agree with the above moral and ethical commitment, which we have made for the continuation of my/our child's Jewish Education following the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ceremony and to do this and the other points listed above. Our signature below constitutes our agreement.

8 Candidate's Name Birthdate Candidate's Hebrew Name Parent #1 Hebrew Name ben/bat Parent #2 Hebrew Name ben/bat Home Phone ( ) Work Phone ( ) Parent #1 Parent #2 First Date Choice Second Date Choice Signatures of Parent(s) and Candidate Required below: Candidate Parent(s) We are planning to rent the Social Hall for an Extended Kiddush. We are planning to rent the Social Hall for our reception. Date Received: Signature Director of Education: Signature Rabbi: Signature Cantor: Confirmation Letter Sent: Name of Torah Portion to Order:

9 Dear Bar/Bat Mitzvah Family: APPENDIX B TEMPLE BETH TIKVAH MEN'S CLUB The Temple Beth Tikvah Men's Club will be happy to provide a recording of the special service for our Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The donation to the Men's Club is $ and includes one DVD copy or flash drive. To schedule this service, please fill out the attached form and send it to the Men's Club c/o Temple Beth Tikvah with your donation, at least one month prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. If you choose to have someone other than Men's Club video tape your Bar/Bat Mitzvah, we encourage you to make a $90.00 donation, payable to the Men's Club. If you have any questions, please Contact the Temple office. To: Temple Beth Tikvah Men's Club Please schedule a video recording of my son/daughter's Bar/Bat Mitzvah on. Enclosed is a donation of $ made payable to the Temple Beth Tikvah Men's Club. I/We will not be using the Men's Club videotaping service, but will be arranging my/our own videotaping. Enclosed is a donation of $90.00 made payable to the Temple Beth Tikvah Men's Club. Name Address Phone

10 APPENDIX C SISTERHOOD ONEG SHABBAT ONEG SHABBAT It is traditional that the family of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah sponsors the Oneg Shabbat following the Friday evening service and the Kiddush following the Saturday morning service. Sisterhood coordinates these events and arranges a beautiful and elegant Oneg Shabbat to enhance your family's simcha. Your fee to Sisterhood covers the cost of the ceremonial challah and wine for the Friday evening and Saturday morning Kiddush, plus fine table linens, coffee, tea, punch, paper supplies, set-up and clean-up for the Oneg. Sishterhood offers several options for sponsoring the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Oneg Shabbat: ö Fully Sponsored ($350) Sisterhood supplies a variety of delicious fresh cookies, pastries, and fruit. All the sponsor has to do is show up! The family's sponsorship is listed in the Friday evening program and is announced from the bimah. ö Co-Sponsored ($175) Occasionally there is another simcha on the same evening and another family may wish to co-sponsor the Oneg with you. The co-sponsors share a listing in the Friday evening program and both are announced from the bimah. If the family is not able to sponsor the Oneg Shabbat, Sisterhood will provide its regular Friday evening refreshments. A donation to Sisterhood Oneg Fund would be appreciated and acknowledged in the Friday evening program. As an additional service, Sisterhood can order a "birth weight" challah for your reception. Please contact the Temple office to order and obtain cost. The challah will be delivered to the Temple on Friday. For more information and to make Oneg Shabbat arrangements, contact the Sisterhood Oneg coordinator (through the Temple office). In order to make all of the necessary preparations, Sisterhood requests one-month notice in advance of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Payment for a sponsored Oneg is required two weeks in advance. Sisterhood is unable to order the baked goods until the advance payment is received. We look forward to working with you as you prepare to celebrate this milestone in your child's life.

11 APPENDIX D Parents Prayer Into our hands, O God, You have placed Your Torah, to be held high by parents and children, and taught by one generation to the next. Whatever has befallen us, our people have remained steadfast in loyalty to the Torah. It was carried into exile in the arms of parents that their children might not be deprived of their birthright. And now we pray that you, our child, will always be worthy of this inheritance. Take its teaching into your heart, and in turn pass it on to your children and those who come after you. May you be a faithful Jew, searching for wisdom and truth, working for justice and peace. Thus will you be among those who labor to bring nearer the day when the Lord shall be One and God s name shall be One.

12 Appendix E SERVICE MODEL REFERENCE Page Mode Ani 288 Welcome Ma Tovu 290 Parents' Blessing Tallit Presentation 289 Asher Yatzar 291 The soul that you have given me Nissim B'chol Yom - Daily Blessings La'asok B'divrei Torah Elu D'varim 298 Baruch She'amar 301 Mizmor Shir 302 Ashrei Halleluyah 306 Even if our mouths Shochein Ad Chatzi Kaddish 312 Bar'chu 313 Yotzeir 313 Ahava Raba 316 V'haer Enenu 316 O God, inspiration and Guide Sh'ma 318 V'ahavta / Vayomer L'maan Tizk'ru Sing the Song Mi Chamocha / Tzur Yisrael 322 T'filah K'dusha (L'dor Vador) Silent T'filah Sim Shalom / Oseh Shalom Silent Meditation Torah Service Opening the Ark Transfer the Torah Torah Procession Songs Torah Reading / Maftir Mi sheberach Hagbah abd Glilah Lifting and Dressing of the Torah Haftarah Bar- Bat Mitzvah Dvar Torah Congregational Blessings Sweet Wishes / Candy time Return the Torah (TBT class) Aleinu 586 Kaddish 598 Closing Song Family/Class

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