Strong for Leadership

Transcription

1 Strong for Leadership Insights, Encouragement and 400 Quotes about the Personal Strengths of Leaders from the Great Minds of the Past 2,500 Years Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D. and Meredith M. Bell, M.A.

2 Copyright 2012 by Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D, and Meredith M. Bell. ALL RIGHTS ARE RESERVED. PERMISSION - Readers have permission to share the PDF file of this ebook. RESTRICTION None of the text within this publication may be copied or reproduced in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, for use in other works, without permission in writing from the publisher. Published under the copyright laws of the Library of Congress of The United States of America by: Performance Support Systems, Inc. P.O. Box 1655 Newport News, VA TEL FAX WEB info@prostarcoach.com Legal Notice While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, neither the authors nor the publisher assume any responsibility for errors, omissions or contrary interpretation of the subject matter. The reader of this publication assumes responsibility for the use of these materials and information. The authors and Publisher assume no responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of any purchaser or reader of these materials.

3 CONTENTS What You Should Know about Being Strong as a Leader 4 Acceptance 7 Accountability 9 Awareness 11 Commitment 13 Compassion 15 Composure 17 Cooperation 19 Courage 21 Creativity 23 Decisiveness 25 Effort 27 Empowerment 29 Excellence 31 Fairness 33 Flexibility 35 Focus 37 Gratitude 39 Honesty 41 Initiative 43 Integrity 45 Intuition 47 Loyalty 49 Open-mindedness 51 Optimism 53 Passion 55 Patience 57 Perseverance 59 Proactivity 61 Rationality 63 Responsibility 65 Self-awareness 67 Self-confidence 69 Self-development 71 Self-discipline 73 Self-esteem 75 Service 77 Thoroughness 79 Tolerance 81 Trust 83 Vision 85 The Authors 87 ProStar Coach 88 Page 3

4 What You Should Know about Being Strong as a Leader Strong for Leadership is a book about the personal strengths you need when striving to achieve a team goal. This isn t a how-to book. Rather, it s a collection of insights, encouragements, and inspirational quotes. Each of the 40 chapters focuses on a special area of personal strength and includes ten of the most profound quotes on the topic. The authors, Denny Coates and Meredith Bell, have a combined total of 80 years of leadership experience. In addition, they ve been teaching, writing and creating systems to develop leaders since What is leadership? It s what you do to get a group of people to consistently contribute their best effort while cooperating to achieve the group s goals. That s not an easy thing to do. It s not easy to get people to give all they have to give. The main reason is that to keep their jobs, they don t have to. All employees have to do is what s required what you tell them to do. Your challenge is that you can t demand or require the things that matter most extra effort, creativity, courage, patience, concern for people, teamwork, etc. So why do some people often work at such a high level of performance? The answer is simple: They can. They have the know-how. They want to. They have the need and desire. They re empowered. They have what they need. They have personal strength. They do the hard things in order to prevail in spite of adversity. To lead effectively, you need to do these four things well: Develop your people into stronger employees. Inspire them, touch their hearts. Page 4

5 Find ways to support them with what they need: funding, people, facilities, supplies, equipment, systems, authority, boundaries, guidance, information, etc. Encourage team members to take heart and do the hard things. You also need to develop these same four factors in yourself. This selfdevelopment will focus on two areas--leadership skills and the personal strengths of leaders, which are two different things. The leadership skills you use to lead are people skills, because they involve interacting with people. These skills include problem solving, conflict resolution, listening, giving feedback, receiving feedback, encouraging, and many more. Skills involve best practices. They typically involve a series of steps, the most effective way of performing a skill. Personal strengths, on the other hand, are behavior patterns that help you do the hard things when in tough situations. Unlike leadership skills, personal strengths don t involve a specific way of doing things. The way you exercise composure, for example, will depend on the particular high-stress situation you find yourself in. Examples of personal strengths are Focus, Perseverance, Composure, Awareness, Rationality, Gratitude, and Creativity. The chapters in this book deal with the 40 personal strengths that leaders and other high-performers need most to deal with the obstacles, mistakes, problems and adversity that typically make goal achievement so challenging. You aren t born with personal strengths. You begin developing these behavior patterns while growing up. And you continue to get stronger as you use them throughout adult life to cope with the challenges of work and life. Or not. If you want to strengthen a behavior pattern, you have to use it. Consistent repetition of a pattern stimulates the neurons involved in the behavior to connect together into a neural pathway over time. Once the network is established, the behavior pattern is a life habit a comfortable, natural way of reacting. It s a part of who you are, the way you typically deal with challenging situations. Page 5

6 When it comes to personal strength, everyone is different. Not everyone has had the same life challenges. Not everyone decided to use (or not use) the same strengths when dealing with those challenges. So everyone has a different mixture of strengths and weaknesses. This also means that you can grow stronger as a person throughout your entire life. Use courage more often and courage becomes easier for you. Use optimism more consistently and it becomes the way you approach the challenges of life. The behavior patterns get stronger. You get stronger as a leader. As a leader, you ll want to make the best use of your strengths and to work on improving the weaker areas. And that s the ultimate usefulness of this book to help you think more clearly about your own personal strengths, to help you understand these strengths better. It will inspire you to apply them in your work and life, thereby making the behavior patterns stronger. By consciously trying to do the hard things, you can grow stronger as a leader. You ll learn the art and craft of leadership best from experience in the real world of work. We suggest you focus on a single aspect of leadership that interests you. Maybe it s an area in which you d like more success. Read and think about the encouragement and what wise people have said about this aspect of leadership. Then make a plan to use this strength in a specific situation. Afterwards, reflect on what happened, why it happened, the consequences and what you learned from the experience. Later, you may want to learn more about ProStar Coach, a kind of online virtual gym with virtual coaching for managers to exercise the people skills and personal strengths involved in leadership. It has many innovative resources a great place for a leader to work out. You ll find more information about ProStar Coach on the last page of this book and on this website: Enjoy! Page 6

7 ACCEPTANCE Face the facts this time, and the next time will be easier. As a leader, often you ll be the one to make a decision. Ultimately, what you do will have consequences, and they ll be your responsibility. Would you want to move forward based on bad information? On faulty analysis? On self-deception? Of course not. You want to deal with your situation based on the facts. But sometimes reality isn t what you expected, what you wanted. Sometimes it s hard to accept the truth of things. When circumstances deal you unexpected blows, it s easy to get upset and say, Why me? What did I do to deserve this? You might be tempted to deny the reality of your challenge because it seems too hard to face. Or you could get angry at the unfairness of it and lash out at others in frustration. But that s the way life is. Bad things can happen that are beyond your control. In those moments, you have a choice. You can accept the situation for what it is and figure out how to deal with it. Or you can refuse to believe it. When this kind of thing happens to you, move to a place of acceptance as quickly as you can. That doesn t mean you have to like it. It means that you acknowledge what s really happening. Taking this approach will help you calm down. Instead of fighting the problem, you ll think more clearly about solutions. You ll come up with ways to get through it successfully. And what initially seemed terrible can actually lead you to a better place than you imagined. Page 7

8 The successful people of this world take life as it comes. They just go out and deal with the world as it is. - Ben Stein, American author (1947- ) I accept reality and dare not question it. - Walt Whitman, American poet ( ) It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. - Carl Sagan, American astronomer ( ) Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. - Winston Churchill, British prime minister ( ) People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction. - James Baldwin, American novelist ( ) Realists do not fear the results of their study. - Feodor Dostoyevsky, Russian novelist ( ) Take things as they are. - Bruce Lee, Chinese actor ( ) Peace of mind is that mental condition in which you have accepted the worst. - Lin Yutang, Chinese author ( ) Accepting does not necessarily mean 'liking,' 'enjoying,' or 'condoning.' I can accept what is and be determined to evolve from there. It is not acceptance but denial that leaves me stuck. - Nathaniel Branden, American psychologist (1930- ) Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. - Henry Miller, American novelist ( ) Take reality by the hand, and she will guide you. Page 8

9 ACCOUNTABILITY Do or not do. Either way, accountability will knock on your door. A leader takes responsibility, which means accepting the role to take action and follow through. But when bad things happen, as they eventually do, if you had something to do with it, it s natural to want to shift the blame to someone else. The problem is, deep down you know you were responsible for what happened. Trying to deny your role only leads to diminished self-respect and self-esteem. And people eventually will find out, if they don t already know, so you risk losing their respect, too. The smart thing is to recognize and own up to the part you played in the way things turned out. The faster you admit that something is your fault, the quicker others will recognize your strength, get over it and move on. It s worth doing the right thing, even though it may be hard at first. Because when you apologize and make amends, three good things happen. First, you ll respect yourself more. Also, people will give you respect when they see you re strong enough to own up to your mistakes. Finally, accepting accountability helps you to move forward much more quickly. Instead of finger-pointing, you can get people involved in solutions. You face the decision about whether or not to be accountable every day, because that s how life is. So remember that you already have within you everything you need to take responsibility for your actions. Page 9

10 A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. - Jonathan Swift, British essayist ( ) In a marriage, an organization, or a culture, only to the extent that people are willing to hold themselves accountable can we have relationships, enterprises, or a world that works. - Nathaniel Branden, American psychologist (1930- ) We are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime. - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, American author ( ) Almost all our faults are more pardonable than the methods we resort to to hide them. - François Duc de La Rochefoucauld, French author ( ) You can do anything in this world if you are prepared to take the consequences. - W. Somerset Maugham, British novelist ( ) It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable. - Jean Baptiste Molière, French playwright ( ) The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly: the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, American philosopher ( ) I am responsible for me and must oversee with great sensitivity the impact of what I say or do on others. - Barbara Jordan, American politician ( ) He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. - Benjamin Franklin, American scientist ( ) A strong leader accepts blame and gives the credit. - John Wooden, American college basketball coach ( ) Own up to your actions, and you ll stand tall. Page 10

11 AWARENESS Step into the world, and you ll be where the action is. A leader needs to know what s going on. Not just the myriad of events that happen in the workplace, but also the attitudes and energy of the people from whom you want their best effort. It takes concentration to really be aware of things. You can be around them so much that you take them for granted and glance past them. When you re busy thinking about the past, solving problems and planning for the future all of which are necessary what s happening right in front of you might not register in your consciousness. Important facts could go unnoticed. Your mind might be somewhere else, and the moment could pass without your fully perceiving things. The solution is to be in the moment. Not all the time, but frequently throughout the day. Slow down, stop and open your eyes to whatever presents itself at the moment. That way, you ll see things you might otherwise ignore. Like the sights and sounds of the workplace at the time. Or a comment from a customer. Or the posture and facial expression of the person sitting in front of you. If you re not fully present, you ll miss something important. Make the effort to pay attention to the details. When you do, you ll see that each moment is a unique opportunity to enrich your store of information. Page 11

12 Normally, we do not so much look at things as overlook them. - Alan Watts, American philosopher ( ) Look and you will find it what is unsought will go undetected. - Sophocles, Greek playwright (B.C ) Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are. - Jose Ortega y Gasset, Spanish philosopher ( ) You can observe a lot just by watching. - Yogi Berra, American professional baseball player (1925- ) The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss. - Thomas Carlyle, British essayist ( ) What we see depends mainly on what we look for. - John Lubbock, British statesman ( ) The obscure we eventually see. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer. - Edward R. Murrow, American journalist ( ) I learned more about economics from one South Dakota dust storm than I did in all my years in college. - Hubert Humphrey, American vice president ( ) The true art of memory is the art of attention. - Samuel Johnson, British essayist ( ) Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of attention. - Jim Rohn, American author ( ) Pay attention, and you ll find what you re looking for. Page 12

13 COMMITMENT Put it all on the line, and you ll be amazed at what you accomplish. Leaders are inevitably asked to take on tough challenges. Your willingness to make commitments and keep them will prove your strength as a leader. And your ability to get the same kind of commitment from a group of people will make the difference between success and failure. It s possible to jump into something without fully understanding the resolve and dedication required to be successful, whether it s pursuing a degree, starting a new job, getting married, or even joining a weight loss program. You may not anticipate the rough spots. Or you may not have thought it through, leaving you with an unrealistic view of what to expect. The solution is to get involved with your eyes open. Find out what a goal will require of you. Recognize that you may have to give up time, effort, freedom and other resources along the way. Then decide if you want to make that kind of commitment. Anytime you undertake a worthy goal, chances are it will be rough going roadblocks, conflicts and even criticism. At such times you may wonder if it s worth sticking with what you said you d do. Just remember, if you made a realistic assessment before making a commitment, you can follow through. You can do the hard things. Once you resolve to achieve your dream and dedicate yourself to making it happen, don t let anyone or anything prevent you from bringing it into reality. Page 13

14 Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person. - Albert Einstein, American physicist ( ) Honor your commitments with integrity. - Les Brown, American author (1945- ) There's always a way - if you're committed. - Anthony Robbins, American author (1960- ) If you do not make a total commitment to whatever you are doing, then you start looking to bail out the first time the boat starts leaking. - Lou Holtz, American college football coach (1937- ) I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen. - Frank Lloyd Wright, American architect ( ) There's no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love. There is only a scarcity of resolve to make it happen. - Wayne Dyer, American author (1940- ) The commitments we make to ourselves and to others, and our integrity to those commitments, is the essence and clearest manifestation of our proactivity. - Stephen Covey, American author (1932- ) Whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do it well; whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself to it completely. - Charles Dickens, British novelist ( ) There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either in or out. There's no such thing as a life in-between. - Pat Riley, American professional basketball coach (1945- ) Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German poet ( ) Go to the point of no return, and your commitment will take you all the way. Page 14

15 COMPASSION Give the gift of kindness, and people will never stop paying you back. Sensitivity and kindness go a long way to building strong relationships. For a leader, that means building relationships with suppliers, customers, team members and others in the organization. A leader who is all business and treats people in an impersonal, calculated way won t inspire much cooperation or commitment from others. It s hard to consider other people s feelings and needs when you re having your own problems. Disappointment, pain and loss have a way of focusing your mind on your own situation. It causes you to think about what you need from others, not what they need from you. If you want people to be there for you, you need to be there for them. The question is, what does the other person need? For starters, you can appreciate what someone else is going through and be ready with consideration and encouragement. You can make it a habit to reflect on how your words and actions impact on those around you. It doesn t take much to offer a kind word or a thoughtful gesture. Your relationships will grow stronger as you show that you care about the people around you. Page 15

16 Kindness begets kindness. - Sophocles, Greek playwright (B.C ) It's odd that you can get so anesthetized by your own pain or your own problem that you don't quite fully share the hell of someone close to you. - Lady Bird Johnson, American first lady ( ) How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. - George Washington Carver, American scientist ( ) The compliment that helps us on our way is not the one that is shut up in the mind, but the one that is spoken out. - Mark Twain, American novelist ( ) Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. - Mother Teresa, Indian humanitarian ( ) To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. - Eleanor Roosevelt, American diplomat ( ) I will smile at friend and foe alike and make every effort to find, in him or her, a quality to praise, now that I realize the deepest yearning of human nature is the craving to be appreciated. - Og Mandino, American author ( ) Anyone too busy to say thank you will get fewer and fewer chances to say it. - Harvey Mackay, American author (1933- ) If you must speak ill of another, do not speak it... write it in the sand near the water's edge. - Napoleon Hill, American author ( ) You can t shake hands with a clenched fist. - Indira Gandhi, Indian prime minister ( ) Show genuine interest in others, and they ll show interest in you. Page 16

17 COMPOSURE Stay cool under fire, and people will want you to lead them. One of the realities of leadership is that things won t always go your way. Bad things will happen. People won t always do what you expect them to do. They ll let you down, create problems, or even work against you. These unwanted events will frustrate you. They ll make you angry. You might feel shock, frustration, anger, or disappointment. It would be easy to give in to these emotions. At times like that, it s hard to keep your cool. But if you go with your emotions, if you act on them, it will only make things worse. Lashing out can hurt people. You can do real damage to relationships. If you fail to express your anger in appropriate ways, you ll pay a price. Even if the victims of your rage don t retaliate in anger, they ll conclude you re insensitive and untrustworthy. Just remind yourself that you wouldn t deliberately harm someone, so you don t want to do it accidentally by losing your temper. The key is to explain how you feel and why, after you ve calmed down. This will help you correct the situation that caused your frustration in the first place. It s hard to stay calm when you re really upset or angry. It s OK to have these feelings. Just remember to be strong so you can think clearly and control your emotions. Take a deep breath, calm down, and give the issue some thought. Consider what makes sense at that moment and for the long-term. Page 17

18 If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? - Sidney J. Harris, American journalist ( ) Concentration and mental toughness are the margins of victory. - Bill Russell, American professional basketball player (1934- ) In adversity remember to keep an even mind. - Horace, Roman poet (B.C. 65-8) Keep cool and you command everybody. - Louis de Saint-Just, French politician ( ) People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. - Will Rogers, American actor ( ) If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you ll die a lot of times. - Dean Smith, American college basketball coach (1931- ) Good judgment, common sense, and reason all fly out the window when emotions kick down your door. - John Wooden, American college basketball coach ( ) The little reed, bending to the force of the wind, soon stood upright again when the storm had passed over. - Aesop, Greek fabulist (B.C ) When anger rises, think of the consequences. - Confucius, Chinese philosopher (B.C ) Anyone can steer a ship when the sea is calm. - Harvey Mackay, American author (1933- ) Think before you say, think before you do and you ll have control over what happens next. Page 18

19 COOPERATION Add your hands to the hands of others, and you ll move the big rock. What do effective leaders do? They develop, inspire, support and encourage others to contribute their best work while working together to achieve an important goal. A key element is working together, meaning a high level of coordination and mutual support as your group goes about its business. Teamwork is the magic that makes things happen, but teamwork is impossible without your leadership. That s because it s not easy for people to work together. For one thing, everyone s different. Half the time, you don t know what people are thinking or why they do what they do. And because everyone is unique, miscommunication and personality clashes can happen. On top of that, nobody s perfect. People make mistakes all the time. It s a real challenge to build enough trust to work cooperatively with just one other person, much less a group of people. But when people are able to coordinate their efforts and work together successfully, a synergy forms that s greater than the sum of the individual efforts of each person. You can achieve amazing results when everyone rallies around a common goal. Because, even though communication won t always be easy and there will be conflicts along the way, an exciting vision will help you resolve their differences. Communicate the vision, make sure people understand their roles, contribute your own best effort, and encourage them to help each other. Understand what motivates them, touch their hearts, empower them and remove whatever gets in their way. Page 19

20 If you think and achieve as a team, the individual accolades will take care of themselves. Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence win championships. - Michael Jordan, American professional basketball player (1963- ) Everyone carries with them at least one piece to someone else's puzzle. - Lawrence Kushner, American author (1943- ) The perfect human being is all human beings put together, it is a collective, it is all of us together that make perfection. - Socrates, Greek philosopher (B.C ) I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow. - Woodrow Wilson, American president ( ) It is evident that many great and useful objects can be attained in this world only by cooperation. - Thomas Babington Macauley, British historian ( ) You can't get your job done unless you also have the confidence that the other guys are going to get their jobs done, too. Without them, I'm nothing. - Johnny Unitas, American professional football player ( ) I never got far until I stopped imagining I had to do everything myself. - Frank W. Woolworth, American business leader ( ) If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. - Dale Carnegie, American author ( ) We win or we lose together. - Mike Krzyzewski, American college basketball coach (1947- ) Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. - Henry Ford, American business leader ( ) Use your candle to light other candles, and you ll create a bright light. Page 20

21 COURAGE Look past fear, and you ll see where the path leads. If you re in charge of people, at some point you ll want them to do things better. That could mean doing things differently, taking them down strange new paths. To solve a problem, you may have to ask them to do something difficult, something they ve never done before. To do what s right, you may have to risk the criticism of others. Venturing into unknown territory can seem scary. You re not sure what you might encounter! It s tempting to stick with what s familiar and comfortable. That way, you re less likely to make mistakes. Maybe you believe it s better not to take risks when the outcome is uncertain. But the truth is, the only way to discover what s possible is to try bold things. If you don t, you ll never know whether you could have done more. Staying with the tried and true may feel safe, but you risk achieving far less than what you re really capable of. You don t have to be a hero to take a risk. Ordinary people achieve extraordinary things every day. They experience concerns and fears, just as you do. But they take action anyway. And you can, too. You can have fear without being paralyzed by it. All you have to do is take the first step. Usually you have a lot more to gain than you stand to lose. You can trust your abilities and charge ahead with confidence. Just go for it! Page 21

22 Many of our fears are tissue paper thin, and a single courageous step would carry us through them. - Brendan Francis Behan, Irish author ( ) Courage is a special kind of knowledge: the knowledge of how to fear what ought to be feared and how not to fear what ought not to be feared. - David Ben- Gurion, Israeli prime minister ( ) Fortune favors the bold. - Virgil, Roman poet (B.C ) What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything? - Vincent Van Gogh, Dutch painter ( ) It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Roman playwright (B.C 4- A.D. 65) What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail? - Robert Schuller, American clergyman (1926- ) You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best you have to give. - Eleanor Roosevelt, American diplomat ( ) Too much caution is bad for you. By avoiding things you fear, you may let yourself in for unhappy consequences. It is usually wiser to stand up to a scaryseeming experience and walk right into it, risking the bruises as hard knocks. You are likely to find it is not as tough as you had thought. Or you may find it plenty tough, but also discover you have what it takes to handle it. - Norman Vincent Peale, American author ( ) Courage is doing what you re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you re scared. - Eddie Rickenbacker, American aviator ( ) Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it; boldness has genius, power and magic in it. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German poet ( ) Leap the great leap, and you ll cross the chasm. Page 22

23 CREATIVITY Step outside the box, and behold 99.9% of what s possible. To many managers, following their lead means getting people to do what they tell them to do. But what if the established way of doing things isn t working very well? You may need to come up with something new. The ideas could come from your own imagination, or you could ask your team members to think creatively. Each one of us has the ability to come up with creative solutions. It s just that most of us don t tap into this potential as often as we could. Why is that? For one thing, it s easy to get stuck in a specific way of thinking and rely on what s worked for you in the past. After all, it s familiar. You don t have to change your patterns or learn something new. Besides, if you experiment with something different, there s a chance you ll make mistakes and end up with nothing useful to show for it. Along the way, you could attract criticism and questions from others. So it s perfectly natural to feel uncomfortable when you think about moving into uncharted territory. If you re facing a challenge and need a new solution, a good first step is to relax and take time to picture new possibilities. When you allow yourself the freedom to imagine something better, you ll be surprised at the ideas that come to you. Then, get input from people who don t think like you do, and read magazines or books outside your field. You ll discover different perspectives that stimulate your thinking and help you come up with solutions you wouldn t have developed otherwise. Creativity takes different forms. You have the ability to bring fresh ideas to almost anything you do. Page 23

24 The future is not some place we are going to but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination. - John Schaar, American scholar (1928- ) When someone tells me there is only one way to do things, it always lights a fire under my butt. - Picabo Street, American Olympic skier (1971- ) You see things; and you say, Why? But I dream things that never were; and I say, Why not? - George Bernard Shaw, British playwright ( ) What is now proved was once only imagined. - William Blake, British poet ( ) The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of them. - Linus Pauling, American chemist ( ) Genius, in truth, means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way. - William James, American psychologist ( ) What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. - Napoleon Hill, American author ( ) Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. - Albert Einstein, American physicist ( ) If there's a way to do it better... find it. - Thomas Edison, American inventor ( ) Live out of your imagination, not your history. - Stephen Covey, American author (1932- ) Off the well-trodden path, you ll discover the way to something better. Page 24

25 DECISIVENESS Consider the consequences, for they will surely fall like dominoes. People may help gather information. They may share ideas. They may even offer opinions. But most of the time the leader makes the decision. The question is, did the leader decide at the right moment, while there s time to have maximum impact? Decisions are tricky, especially important ones. You may have several options, and each one could have unique advantages and disadvantages. What to do isn t always clear. You can t know in advance whether your decision will work out. If you don t get it right, there may be bad consequences. People who matter to you might criticize your decision. And the wrong choice could cost you money. So if the stakes are high, you may be reluctant to move forward. When you re not sure, do these three things. First, get the facts. Next, compare your options carefully. Consider the costs and the consequences. Finally, do a gut-check. Does the option you favor feel right? Remember, there s magic in action. While it s true that you should do your homework and evaluate your options, you need to beware the paralysis of analysis. If you sit on the fence too long, you could miss big opportunities. So make your call at the right time, and then focus on getting the best possible results. Keep in mind that a wrong choice isn t the end of the world. You can always learn as you go and consider new options, no matter what happens. Page 25

26 When a thing is done, it's done. Don't look back. Look forward to your next objective. - George C. Marshall, American general ( ) Nothing would be done at all if one waited until one could do it so well that no one could find fault with it. - John Henry Newman, British clergyman ( ) If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin. - Ivan Turgenev, Russian novelist ( ) Nothing is so exhausting as indecision, and nothing is so futile. - Bertrand Russell, British philosopher ( ) A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week. - George S. Patton, American general ( ) Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome. - Samuel Johnson, British essayist ( ) Always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. - Carlos Castaneda, American author ( ) Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide. - Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor ( ) You can tell any story 20 different ways. The trick is to pick one and go with it. - Clint Eastwood, American movie director and actor (1930- ) Indecision is the thief of opportunity. - Jim Rohn, American author ( ) Know when to think and when to act, and success will arrive just in time. Page 26

27 EFFORT The harder you work, the luckier you ll get. It s amazing what you can get done when you push yourself to your limits. And that s exactly what a leader often has to do. Sometimes success depends on your willingness to move faster, devote more personal energy and work longer hours and to inspire the same level of effort from your team members. Yet, when challenges slow your progress, it s hard to remember that something good might come from all your hard work. You might wonder whether the results you hope for are worth the physical aches and pains or the mental fatigue that you re experiencing along the way. It s natural to wish you were able to do something that didn t drain so much of your personal energy. At times like this, remind yourself that while hard work might exhaust you, in the long run it s how you get what you want. Almost always, a worthwhile goal requires tremendous effort and commitment. If your goal means that much to you, and if you re willing to do the tough stuff and not give up, you have an excellent chance of achieving it. The key is to have a goal you really care about so you give it your best effort even when you're tired. Remember, you already have within you everything you need to give the required effort. You can concentrate on the challenge before you, no matter how difficult, and give it your best. Page 27

28 Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven't planted. - David Bly, American politician (1952- ) Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. - Stephen King, American novelist (1947- ) Nothing will work unless you do. - John Wooden, American college basketball coach ( ) You just don't luck into things. You build them step by step, whether it's friendships or opportunities. - Barbara Bush, American first lady (1925- ) Without labor nothing prospers. - Sophocles, Greek playwright (B.C ) Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you. - Arnold Palmer, American professional golfer (1929- ) Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run. - Rudyard Kipling, British novelist ( ) The highest compliment that you can pay me is to say that I work hard every day. - Wayne Gretzky, Canadian ice hockey player (1961- ) Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is full victory. - Mohandas Gandhi, Indian religious leader ( ) The world belongs to the energetic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, American philosopher ( ) With more lightning and less thunder, you ll blow through the hard things. Page 28

29 EMPOWERMENT Be the flame, and everything around you will heat up. Whether you re busy managing others, serving in a volunteer organization, or raising children, you almost always need to work through people in order to get things done. As a leader, it s your role to share know-how, inspire people to give their best, give them what they need and encourage them to make a meaningful contribution. But that s easier said than done. Maybe you re reluctant to give up control because someone may not do the task as well as you could. And sometimes it s hard to communicate what you want. Not everyone is like you. If you don t understand what motivates them, you won t get their best effort. Empowering people means being clear about the goal and helping others believe they can do what s required. It means communicating expectations, sharing authority and outlining boundaries. It also means arranging for needed resources, such as information, technology, supplies, equipment, transportation, personnel, and time. All these things empower. If you consider what people need to do their best work, you ll see that you have the ability to positively influence their performance. As you remove the barriers that hold them back, you ll share in the satisfaction of their achievements. Page 29

30 Progress occurs when courageous, skillful leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better. - Harry Truman, American president ( ) Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it s amazing what they can accomplish. - Sam Walton, American business leader ( ) The world will belong to passionate, driven leaders people who not only have an enormous amount of energy but who can energize those whom they lead. - Jack Welch, American business leader (1935- ) The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant. - Max DePree, American business leader (1924- ) If anything goes bad, then I did it. If anything goes semi-good, then we did it. If anything goes real good, then you did it. - Paul "Bear" Bryant, American college football coach ( ) Almost everything in leadership comes back to relationships. - Mike Krzyzewski, American college basketball coach (1947- ) A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved. He inspires the power and energy to get it done. - Ralph Lauren, American business leader (1939- ) Never give an order that can't be obeyed. - Douglas Macarthur, American general ( ) I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than any other ability under the sun. - John D. Rockefeller, American business leader ( ) There is no more powerful leadership tool than your own personal example. - John Wooden, American college basketball coach ( ) Be a servant to the team, and they will serve the mission. Page 30

31 EXCELLENCE Accept only the best, and most of the time you ll get it. To get the best results from a group of people, a leader has to care about excellence. You have to show the way and help people understand what s possible. To deliver the highest quality results, a person has to set high standards and live up to them. Sometimes, good enough can seem appealing. Why make the extra effort when you re not sure if anyone cares? The rewards for high-quality work aren t always obvious, and there s no guarantee that you ll be better off. So it s tempting to take the easy way out and just do the minimum. But deep down, people know there are big payoffs for excellence. You can see the results of high quality, and doing your best feels better than just getting by. When you take pride in what you do, it shows and people will notice. You stand out because mediocre performance is much more common, so you ll appreciate the recognition you get because of your efforts. And you know what else? When you re doing something as well as you can, your life is more meaningful. You enjoy it more. Remember, you already have within you everything you need to set high standards and encourage people to work towards them. And when you do, your team will discover the exceptional rewards of producing something exceptional. Page 31

32 A professional is one who does his best work when he feels the least like working. - Frank Lloyd Wright, American architect ( ) My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. - Oprah Winfrey, American actress (1954- ) Don't be afraid to give up the good for the great. - Kenny Rogers, American singer (1938- ) You block and tackle better than the team you re playing, you win. - Vince Lombardi, American professional football coach ( ) Do not waste a minute -- not a second -- in trying to demonstrate to others the merits of your performance. If your work does not vindicate itself, you cannot vindicate it. - Thomas Wentworth Higginson, American clergyman ( ) Hold yourself responsible to a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself." - Henry Ward Beecher, American author ( ) When a thing is thoroughly well done it often has the air of being a miracle. - Arnold Bennett, British author ( ) If people knew how hard I have had to work to gain my mastery, it wouldn t seem wonderful at all. - Michelangelo Buonarroti, Italian artist ( ) If you do the best you can, you will find, nine times out of ten, that you have done as well as or better than anyone else. - William Feather, American author ( ) Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it. - George Halas, American professional football coach ( ) Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way, and people will wonder how you did it. Page 32

33 FAIRNESS Create a level playing field, and winners will show up to play. An effective leader doesn t play favorites, because people who feel they are being treated unfairly will almost always withhold their best efforts. You know what it feels like when someone doesn t treat you fairly. Maybe a person interrupts you at a meeting, or doesn t consult you about an important decision, or ignores you at a social event. You don t like it when you aren t shown the respect you deserve. Others deserve that same respect, for exactly the same reasons. Every person has value. Regardless of their social status, education or background, everyone is worthy of courtesy and consideration. But that can be challenging when people s beliefs, ideas or even their appearance are different from yours. When you re tempted to discount what others are saying because of these differences, remind yourself to stop judging and start listening with an open mind. Ask questions that will help you understand their point of view. That way you can respond to their opinions in a way that makes them feel valued. It s the fair thing to do, because you know you want that kind of respect yourself. You ll not only improve relationships when you take this approach, you ll get beyond the superficial differences and come to appreciate the unique qualities of other human beings. Page 33

34 It is less important to redistribute wealth than it is to redistribute opportunity. - Arthur Vandenburg, American political leader ( ) The best index to a person s character is (a) how he treats people who can t do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can t fight back. - Abigail Van Buren, American columnist (1918- ) Think for yourself, and let others enjoy the privilege of doing so, too. - Francois Voltaire, French philosopher ( ) Here s my golden rule for a tarnished age: Be fair with others, but then keep after them until they re fair with you. - Alan Alda, American actor (1936- ) Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, Make me feel important. Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life. - Mary Kay Ash, American business leader ( ) It is a terrible, an inexorable law that one cannot deny the humanity of another without diminishing one s own: in the face of one s victim, one sees oneself. - James Baldwin, American novelist ( ) Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. - Jesus Christ, Jewish founder of Christianity (0-31) Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King, Jr., American civil rights leader ( ) The only freedom which deserves the name, is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it. - John Stuart Mill, British philosopher ( ) Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, American philosopher ( ) Play fair, and others will consider you a winner. Page 34

35 FLEXIBILITY Hunker down in your comfort zone, and the world will pass you by. It s not the leader s job to maintain the status quo. It s the leader s job to handle issues and solve problems while making things happen and getting things done. That means reacting to unforeseen situations and adapting to changing conditions. This requires a lot of flexibility the willingness to change course and try new approaches. But when you ve got a schedule and you re implementing it, it s natural to want to stick with the plan you ve laid out. It can be unsettling to have to switch gears mid-stream in response to some unexpected development. The fact is, every day brings something unforeseen. Something gets cancelled. Conflicts and problems arise. People change their minds. They want something different. All this turmoil can make you feel disoriented, frustrated, and even angry. If you re really honest with yourself, you ll realize that when you dig in your heels and insist on keeping things the way they are, it s because you feel threatened. If you change now, it might look like you were wrong, or it could be seen as a sign of weakness. But you waste a lot of energy fighting to keep things the same. Instead of resisting change, welcome it as an opportunity to be flexible and resilient. When you deal successfully with new or unexpected situations, you strengthen your ability and your confidence to handle whatever comes up. Page 35

36 Leaders honor their core values, but they are flexible in how they execute them. - Colin L. Powell, American secretary of state (1937- ) It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. - W. Edwards Deming, American author ( ) He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils; for time is the greatest innovator. - Francis Bacon, British philosopher ( ) They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. - Confucius, Chinese philosopher (B.C ) It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin, British scientist ( ) You can never step into the same river; for new waters are always flowing on to you. - Heraclitus, Greek philosopher (Fl. c. B.C. 400) If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. - Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher (Fl. B.C. 6th cent.) Adapt or perish, now as ever, is Nature s inexorable imperative. - H. G. Wells, British novelist ( ) We must be willing to get rid of the life we ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell, American anthropologist ( ) Be clear about your goal but be flexible about the process of achieving it. - Brian Tracy, American author (1944- ) Be willing to bend, and the winds of life won't break you. Page 36

37 FOCUS Keep your eye on the ball, and you ll put yourself in scoring position. Of all the resources a leader makes available to the group, time is the most precious. You may have more of everything else, but you will always only have a specific amount of time. And when it s gone, it s gone. Smart leaders focus. They make sure people are spending blocks of time working on the highest priority tasks. When you have a lot on your plate, it s tempting to try to do two or three tasks at the same time. You only have so much time each day, so it might seem like a good idea to try and knock out several things at once. But multi-tasking actually makes you less productive. The human brain is designed to focus on one thing at a time. So if you try to handle multiple priorities simultaneously, such as talking with someone on the phone while checking , you don t give your full attention to either activity, and you re not as effective. The solution is to put a system in place that focuses your attention on one priority at a time. Identify blocks of prime time throughout the day, when you eliminate all distractions. Then, before you wrap up at the end of the day, set up a schedule for the next day, and assemble the materials you ll need to complete each task. If you structure your group s work this way, I promise that you ll get a lot more done. And everyone will finish the day feeling good about what they ve accomplished. Remember, you can get more done when you focus on one thing at a time. Start with your highest priority task first, work on it without distraction, and you ll be amazed at your results. Page 37

38 Our grand business in life is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what clearly lies at hand. - Thomas Carlyle, British essayist ( ) To do two things at once is to do neither. - Publilius Syrus, Roman author (Fl. B.C. 1st cent) To be able to concentrate for a considerable time is essential to difficult achievement. - Bertrand Russell, British philosopher ( ) He that is everywhere is nowhere. - Thomas Fuller, British clergyman ( ) Just say No to others and to yourself when you find you are being tempted to deviate from your priorities. - Chin-Ning Chu, American author ( ) The secret of success is constancy of purpose. - Benjamin Disraeli, British statesman ( ) No steam or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined. - Henry Emerson Fosdick, American author ( ) Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all your energies on a limited set of targets. - Nido Qubein, American professional speaker (1948- ) The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing. - German Proverb The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus. - Bruce Lee, Chinese actor ( ) Learn how to say no, and your yes will have greater impact. Page 38

39 GRATITUDE Give thanks for the moment, and you ll capture it forever. When a team member gives an outstanding effort, a strong leader shows appreciation and says, Thank you. Imagine how someone would feel if you didn t. The person might feel that you don t value their hard work. One of the greatest needs of every human being is the desire to feel valued. So why not express your gratitude more often when it costs you nothing to say the words? For one thing, you get busy. Because you move at a fast pace, you re occupied with problems and you may not notice, much less comment on, the value someone has added to the group effort. But the truth is, the more positive feedback you give, the better you ll feel about yourself. The simple act of expressing gratitude and appreciation adds to your own satisfaction. So don t wait. Notice the positive things your people are doing. Tell them how much you appreciate it. It will inspire them to give their best more often. Page 39

40 Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone. - Gertrude Stein, American novelist ( ) Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. - Charles Dickens, British novelist ( ) It's not the years in your life that count, it s the life in your years. - Abraham Lincoln, American president ( ) Each moment is precious and unrecoverable. - Jon Kabat-Zinn, American psychologist Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead. - Scottish Proverb Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. - Marcus Tullius Cicero, Roman orator (B.C ) Gratitude is a duty which ought to be paid, but which none have a right to expect. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher ( ) No one who achieves success does so without acknowledging the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude. - Alfred North Whitehead, British philosopher ( ) The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness. - Dalai Lama, Tibetan religious leader (1935- ) There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread. - Mother Teresa, Indian humanitarian ( ) Thank people for what they give, and they ll gladly give more. Page 40

41 HONESTY Shake hands with the truth, and she will make you stronger. Honesty is essential to leadership. People won t follow someone who misrepresents the truth. Telling the truth isn t always comfortable or easy. To avoid personal embarrassment, you may be tempted to change the story or leave out certain facts. But if you misrepresent the truth or tell only a portion of the truth, you re concealing information from people who may need it. In the world of work, people need to know how things really are so they can deal with issues and problems. If you cover something up because it s embarrassing or damaging to you, you could be setting others up to fail. People depend on you for accurate information. The right thing to do is to be straightforward and take the heat. Besides, you can t hide a lie forever. Almost always, the facts come to light. If people find out you deceived them, they ll stop trusting you. A leader should never risk undermining his leadership this way. You have the strength to face the facts all of them. Even if you look bad for a moment, it s better to give people what they need the best possible information. Tell the truth no matter how embarrassing, and people will respect you for it. Page 41

42 One word of truth outweighs the whole world. - Aleksander Solzhenitsyn, Russian novelist ( ) Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with the important matters. - Albert Einstein, American physicist ( ) When in doubt, tell the truth. - Mark Twain, American novelist ( ) A lie which is half a truth is ever the blackest of lies. - Alfred Tennyson, British poet ( ) Truth is its own reward. - Plato, Greek philosopher (B.C ) No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar. - Abraham Lincoln, American president ( ) Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. - Thomas Jefferson, American president ( ) Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others. - Feodor Dostoyevsky, Russian novelist ( ) A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth. - Aesop, Greek fabulist (B.C ) The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousandfold. - Aristotle, Greek philosopher (B.C ) Make truth your foundation, and the house you build on it will last. Page 42

43 INITIATIVE Take action, and you will feel its power. A strong leader doesn t wait to be told what to do. She just does it. She takes action when it matters most. She opens the door of opportunity and walks through it. You might think of something new or exciting and then talk yourself out of actually following though. Fear of disapproval, criticism or rejection can cause you to keep your ideas to yourself. Self-doubt can set in and undermine your confidence. That s because action is intimidating. You never know what roadblocks you ll encounter once you get started. You could invest a lot of energy and effort, then fail. It s hard to face people when you don t accomplish what you set out to do. The reality is, nothing happens until you take action. Thought alone doesn t produce results. Successful people will tell you that most of the things they try don t work. But they don t let that stop them. They learn as they go and do other things, knowing that eventually something they try will work. They get momentum through action. Your unique talents and abilities will help you succeed if you give them a chance. Don t let the fear of failure paralyze you. You ll be amazed at what you can accomplish once you get started. Just get going. Remember, your initial effort doesn t have to be perfect. The actions you take will teach you what you need to do next. Page 43

44 You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore, Indian philosopher ( ) If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle, American comedian ( ) The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It's as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer. - Nolan Bushnell, American businessman (1943- ) Opportunities multiply as they are seized. - Sun Tzu, Chinese philosopher (Fl. B.C ) The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. - Mark Twain, American novelist ( ) Heaven never helps the men who will not act. - Sophocles, Greek playwright (B.C ) You will never win if you never begin. - Robert Schuller, American clergyman (1926- ) Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. - Theodore Roosevelt, American president ( ) The beginning is the most important part of the work. - Plato, Greek philosopher (B.C ) In life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action. - Anthony Robbins, American author (1960- ) Build the door, and opportunity will knock. Page 44

45 INTEGRITY Let your life do the talking, and people will believe the message. People won t follow a leader they don t trust. They ll do what s required, but they won t take risks, be creative or any of the hard things involved in a high level of team performance. The way a leader earns trust is through integrity. Doing the right thing requires a lot of inner strength, especially when no one is looking. It s easy to act impulsively and not think through the consequences. We ve all faced situations where we have to make ethical choices. The harsh reality is that when you intentionally do something wrong, even when it looks like you got away with it, somebody gets hurt. Relationships could be permanently damaged if people find out. And even if no one else ever knows, you know that what you did wasn t aligned with your values, and your conscience will bother you. The incident could cause lasting damage to your self-esteem. But when you do the right thing, you have no regrets, nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of. Knowing what s right isn t that difficult. The hard part is doing what you ll say you ll do, whether it s fulfilling a contract, paying back a debt, or even eating and exercising according to your plan. You have what it takes to be a person of integrity. When you re faced with hard choices or conflicting alternatives, just be honest with yourself. In almost every case, you ll know in your heart the right thing to do. Page 45

46 Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or who says it. - Malcolm X, American political leader ( ) Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. - Dalai Lama, Tibetan religious leader (1935- ) He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it. - Henry David Thoreau, American philosopher ( ) A promise made is a debt unpaid. - Robert W. Service, Canadian author ( ) Right is right, even if everyone is against it; and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it. - William Penn, British colonizer ( ) Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching. - Thomas Jefferson, American president ( ) You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips. - Oliver Goldsmith, British poet ( ) To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest. - Mohandas Gandhi, Indian religious leader ( ) What you are speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, American philosopher ( ) No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor. - Andrew Carnegie, American business leader ( ) Walk the path of no regret, and you will never walk it alone. Page 46

47 INTUITION Check your instincts, and reason will thank you. Effective leaders are known by the decisions they make. They have good judgment. The secret to good decision-making is to do your homework, analyze your options, choose the best one, and check your gut-feelings. And do all this in time to make a difference. If you have a bad feeling about something, even though it looks good on paper, find out why. Your intuition may be telling you something your conscious reasoning is not. There are times when you just know that something doesn t feel right. But you might dismiss what your gut tells you. After all, it s hard to explain a factor that s not based on facts, numbers or hard evidence. It s natural to wonder if people will challenge your conclusions. When you have a strong hunch about something, pay attention. Your brain may have considered factors you haven t in your conscious reasoning. Your mind constantly evaluates the experiences and life lessons you ve acquired over the years. Sometimes this process results in an important insight if you re ready to receive it. For every serious decision, balance your hunches with thoughtful analysis to avoid costly mistakes. Don t automatically discount what your instincts tell you. And don t let the opinions of others sway you from doing what feels right. In the end, you re the one who will live with the consequences. You ll choose wisely if you listen to both the voice of reason and the voice of intuition. Page 47

48 The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. - Sidney J. Harris, American journalist ( ) To get anywhere, or even live a long time, a man has to guess, and guess right, over and over again, without enough data for a logical answer. - Robert Heinlein, American novelist ( ) With an eye made quiet by the power of harmony, and the deep power of joy, we see into the life of things. - William Wordsworth, British poet ( ) A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. - Nelson Mandela, South African president ( ) If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down. - Ray Bradbury, American novelist (1920- ) It is the heart always that sees, before the head can see. - Thomas Carlyle, British essayist ( ) You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it. - G. K. Chesterton, British novelist ( ) We know the truth, not only by the reason, but by the heart. - Blaise Pascal, French scientist ( ) The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. - Albert Einstein, American physicist ( ) Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. - C. G. Jung, Swiss psychiatrist ( ) Listen to the still small voice, and it will reveal its secrets. Page 48

49 LOYALTY Betray one friendship, and you will lose many. A leader has a vital relationship with the other members of the team. These people will give their best effort if they know, like and trust the leader. They ll be loyal to the leader and the team because the leader is loyal to them. You re loyal when you show how important a person is by giving them priority over other things. You don t do things at their expense. When someone you care about is going through a difficult time, it can be a real challenge to devote the energy and resources to truly support them. You ve probably got your own problems to deal with, and you may not be sure what the person needs from you. In situations like this, you can make a conscious choice to be true to the relationship. Whether it s family, friends or work associates, if you re genuinely concerned about their welfare, you ll be there for them and even go the extra mile. You d want them to do the same for you. There s an obvious benefit to others when you make them a high priority. The benefit to you when you re loyal to a relationship is that they trust you. You already know how to be loyal. Just remember what will happen if you aren t. You want people to know they can count on you to come through for them even in the toughest of circumstances. Page 49

50 Ah friend, let us be true to one another! - Matthew Arnold, British poet ( ) Fidelity purchased with money, money can destroy. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Roman playwright (B.C 4-A.D. 65) Words are easy, like the wind; faithful friends are hard to find. - William Shakespeare, British playwright ( ) The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and to hold them in the right scale of values. - Norman Thomas, American socialist leader ( ) A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. - Walter Winchell, American journalist ( ) We are all in the same boat in a stormy sea, and we owe each other a terrible loyalty. - G. K. Chesterton, British novelist ( ) If you have one true friend, you have more than your share. - Thomas Fuller, British clergyman ( ) I'll take fifty percent efficiency to get one hundred percent loyalty. - Samuel Goldwyn, American film producer ( ) It takes more than a year to make a friend, but you can lose one in an hour. - Chinese Proverb I have underlying respect for the broad-shouldered family man and woman who care more about their kids than themselves, and they are willing to make sacrifices so that their children can succeed. - Frank Borman, American astronaut (1928- ) Be there for those you care about, and you ll never be alone. Page 50

51 OPEN-MINDEDNESS Open your mind, and new knowledge will come rushing in. As a leader, if you think you know all the answers, you re in big trouble. The truth is, each individual comes from a different background of learning, and they know things you don t know. If you want to get smarter as you go and if you want your decisions to be based on the best information and wisdom, ask the people around you what they think. And keep an open mind. It s not easy to accept another person s point of view, even if it s better than your own. For one thing, you may not understand it at first. The person may not express himself very well, and because it s a different perspective, you may find it difficult to grasp. Besides, what you hear may contradict what you already believe. If that belief means a lot to you, you may not want to hear something that challenges it. Learning is a life-long adventure, and we learn from each other. If you want to expand your knowledge, you need to be willing to examine other people s opinions. Even if you usually stay with what you believe, every now and then you ll discover a new point of view that s more useful than the one you hold now. You have astounding potential for growth, and you can expand your horizon as far as you want. So instead of avoiding people who disagree with you, seek them out. When they speak, don t give in to the impulse to argue. Learning isn t about proving that you re right. It s about discovering something new. Listen carefully, get clarification and ask for more information. You don t have to accept everything you hear, but you can decide if it s worth considering. Page 51

52 Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. - George Bernard Shaw, British playwright ( ) In the choice between changing one s mind and proving there's no need to do so, most people get busy on the proof. - John Kenneth Galbraith, American columnist ( ) Nature has given us two ears, two eyes, and but one tongue - to the end that we should hear and see more than we speak. - Socrates, Greek philosopher (B.C ) It is never too late to give up our prejudices. - Henry David Thoreau, American philosopher ( ) Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. - Mark Twain, American novelist ( ) We should not only use the brains we have, but all that we can borrow. - Woodrow Wilson, American president ( ) When learning about life and people, make no more assumptions than are absolutely necessary. Ask and observe. - William of Occam, British philosopher ( ) Old paradigms die hard, even if they don t work. - Karl Albrecht, American author (1941- ) From a worldly point of view, there is no mistake so great as that of always being right. - Samuel Butler, British novelist ( ) We are complacently caught in our particular view of the world, which compels us to feel and act as if we knew everything about the world. - Carlos Castaneda, American author ( ) The wiser you are, the more you ll seek the wisdom of others. Page 52

53 OPTIMISM Fly through the dark clouds, and you ll see the blue skies of possibility. Bad things happen, usually when you least expect it. They happen at work. They happen in your personal life. For a leader, the question is how resilient are you? Does the blow cripple you, or do you get back up and make the most of what you have? Team success depends on it. Faced with adversity, it s easy to conclude that life s against you. The natural tendency is to focus on your pain and the negatives, completely overlooking any positive aspects of the situation. You can get discouraged and lose sight of your options. Your beliefs and attitudes dramatically affect what you do and what happens next. When you re pessimistic, you anticipate and dwell on the worst-case scenario. You create a movie in your mind of the result you don t want and play it over and over. But focusing on your worst fears won t lead you to solutions. Stopping this vicious cycle doesn t mean putting on rose-colored glasses and pretending that everything is right with the world. It means recognizing that every situation has both positives and negatives. With optimism, you see both aspects, and you decide to study the possibilities and opportunities instead of the problems and limitations. The attitude you bring to a situation strongly influences its outcome. If you re convinced things will turn out badly, you probably won t take steps to achieve the best result. Open your mind to the positives as well as the negatives, and your worldview will be more complete. If you acknowledge what you have going for you, you can use those resources to move forward. Page 53

54 Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out. - John Wooden, American college basketball coach ( ) Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. - Zig Ziglar, American author (1926- ) Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. - Dalai Lama, Tibetan religious leader (1935- ) Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well. - Jack London, American novelist ( ) Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. - H. Jackson Brown, American author (1940- ) Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments. - Joseph Addison, British essayist ( ) A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. - Francis Bacon, British philosopher ( ) He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. - Epictetus, Greek philosopher (50-138) Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is. - Ernest Hemingway, American novelist ( ) Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due. - William Inge, American playwright ( ) See disaster as opportunity, and you ll remake things better than ever. Page 54

55 PASSION Plug into your passion, and the voltage will run things at high speed. If you re in charge of people, if you have a challenging project and if you want them to do the hard things that are needed for success, will they follow your lead? If you don t show real passion for the project, chances are they won t either. The most worthwhile things in life are the hardest to achieve. That means they involve major challenges. Only a highly committed individual would endure the hard work, delays and discouragements until the goal is finally achieved. Most people are interested in something but is it a passionate interest? Many people never experience that. If you don t feel boundless enthusiasm and obsessive motivation to achieve something, your interest may not carry you far. Even if you do have that kind of intensity, it may be hard to sustain it. If you listen to your heart, you ll find out what matters to you most. You may have to listen for a while, but eventually you ll encounter something in your life that you care about very much. Then you can do the things that most people never do commit to getting heavily involved in what you re passionately interested in. Page 55

56 The minute you choose to do what you really want to do, it's a different kind of life. - Buckminster Fuller, American architect ( ) Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, American philosopher ( ) It sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities, but its own talents. - Eric Hoffer, American philosopher ( ) Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat. - Napoleon Hill, American author ( ) A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm. - Charles M. Schwab, American business leader ( ) No matter how carefully you plan your goals, they will never be more than pipe dreams unless you pursue them with gusto. - W. Clement Stone, American businessman ( ) Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things. - Denis Diderot, French philosopher ( ) Do every act of your life as if it were your last. - Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor ( ) You have to have your heart in the business and the business in your heart. - Thomas J. Watson, Sr., American business leader ( ) Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. - Confucius, Chinese philosopher (B.C ) Your enthusiasm will be infectious, stimulating and attractive to others. They will love you for it. They will go for you and with you. - Norman Vincent Peale, American author ( ) What's your heart s desire? It will drive you to do the thousand tasks. Page 56

57 PATIENCE Know when now isn t the right time, and you ll be ready when it is. As a leader you want things to stay on schedule. You want to move things forward. But when there are roadblocks or slowdowns, sometimes there s nothing you can do to change the situation, and you can waste a lot of time pushing against a brick wall. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to be patient. You need to be realistic and know when to back off. It s easy to get frustrated when someone doesn t move at the pace you want them to whether it s a driver in front of you, a coworker who s learning something that you mastered years ago, or a child you re teaching to behave in a new way. But there s a downside to showing irritation. Think about how you feel when you notice someone getting impatient with you. If you re trying your best, their attitude can make you feel discouraged or resentful. So imagine how others feel when you become annoyed with them. If you find yourself getting upset because things aren t going the way you want, ask yourself this question. Is there anything I can do right now to move things forward? If the answer is yes, then do it. But if it s no, then you need to get to a place of acceptance as quickly as possible. You may in fact need to take action, but not now. Waiting for the right time is a critical aspect of patience. You ll save yourself a lot of frustration and disappointment if you learn to manage your expectations. Recognize that you don t have the power to influence every situation. When you adjust your perspective, you ll be more serene in the face of circumstances that are beyond your control. Page 57

58 The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time. - Dean Acheson, American statesman ( ) Give wind and tide a chance to change. - Richard Byrd, American explorer ( ) Some things arrive on their own mysterious hour, on their own terms and not yours, to be seized or relinquished forever. - Gail Godwin, American novelist (1937- ) Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden, British poet ( ) Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, American philosopher ( ) The future belongs to him who knows how to wait. - Russian Proverb Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens. - Epictetus, Greek philosopher (50-138) God give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed; courage to change the things that should be changed; and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. - Reinhold Niebuhr, American theologian ( ) There s a time for all things. - William Shakespeare, British playwright ( ) The twin killers of success are impatience and greed. - Jim Rohn, American author ( ) Be willing to wait, and things that can t be hurried will happen anyway. Page 58

59 PERSEVERANCE Simply refuse to quit, and you ll go further than you thought possible. Once you give up, the game is over. As a leader, perseverance begins with you. If you refuse to quit, you can inspire everyone on the team to hang in there. But it won t be easy. Major setbacks happen all the time, and they re painful. They can drain your strength and your resolve. You may even feel like quitting. You can lose the motivation to go on. After discouragement it may be hard to believe that the outcome you hoped for is still worth the effort. When you re working on a challenging project, expect that there will be problems and disappointments. That way, when adversity happens, it won t surprise you. As long as there s any chance at all that you can succeed, simply refuse to quit no matter what. People quit all the time. Just decide that after most people have dropped out, you ll be one of those still in the game. Then fill your mind with a clear mental image of what you want to achieve. Visualize the desired outcome that inspires you, even when you re tired. You can avoid being overwhelmed if you focus on just the next step. Take it one step at a time, and you ll eventually reach your goal. And finally, don t let discouragement, fatigue, or criticism keep you from achieving your goal. Even though you ll be challenged by mistakes and failures, you can use them to help you continue moving forward. Page 59

60 Constant dripping hollows out a stone. - Lucretius, Roman poet (ca, 99 B.C.-ca. 55 B.C.) You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. - Margaret Thatcher, British prime minister (1925- ) I'd like people to know that you can recover from life adversity. You don't have to give up because you've been down a lot of times. - Ray Charles, American singer-composer ( ) Never let the fear of striking out get in your way. - Babe Ruth, American professional baseball player ( ) It's a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired, you quit when the gorilla is tired. - Robert Strauss, American politician (1918- ) Being defeated is often only a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent. - Marilyn vos Savant, American author (1946- ) People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit. - George Allen, American professional football coach ( ) When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. - Henry Ward Beecher, American author ( ) My greatest point is my persistence. I never give up in a match. - Bjorn Borg, Swedish professional tennis player (1956- ) The one quality all successful people have is persistence. They're willing to spend more time accomplishing a task and to persevere in the face of many difficult odds. - Joyce Brothers, American psychologist (1925- ) Keep swinging and the hits will come. Page 60

61 PROACTIVITY Go in the direction of your dream, or it will always remain wishful thinking. People depend on a leader to point them in the right direction. If you can look beyond the present and see what s coming in the future, you can prepare for it. To a large extent, you can determine what that future will be. You can see that small problems are about to grow into big ones, so you nip them in the bud. Your tool for being proactive is a plan. It s not easy to create a plan and then execute it. You have to envision the most likely future, create realistic goals, and determine what you have to do to achieve them. And the more ambitious the goal, the greater the chances that you ll fail. To increase your chances for success, you have to imagine in vivid detail what you want and figure out what you need to get there. List the people whose help you need. Map out the details from start to finish. This roadmap will stack the odds in your favor. And then follow through. Nothing happens until you translate a plan into action. Taking the first step increases your chances for success because you start to build momentum and confidence. Stay focused on the next step, keep people on track and moving in the right direction. Plan for the future rather than reacting to it once it arrives, and you re far more likely to achieve the goals you set. Page 61

62 The most important thing you can do to achieve your goals is to make sure that as soon as you set them, you immediately begin to create momentum. - Anthony Robbins, American author (1960- ) Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something. Don t just stand there, make it happen. - Lee Iacocca, American business leader (1924- ) The best way to predict the future is to create it. - Peter Drucker, American author ( ) If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. - Henry David Thoreau, American philosopher ( ) A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline. - Harvey Mackay, American author (1933- ) The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, American author ( ) If you're proactive, you don't have to wait for circumstances or other people to create perspective expanding experiences. You can consciously create your own. - Stephen Covey, American author (1932- ) The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F. Kennedy, American president ( ) Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning. - Winston Churchill, British prime minister ( ) It is thrifty to prepare today for the wants of tomorrow. - Aesop, Greek fabulist (B.C ) Court the future you desire, or she will fall in love with someone else. Page 62

63 RATIONALITY Pay attention to what reason teaches, or she ll rap you on the knuckles. When problems arise, the team will look to you for answers. An effective leader looks trouble in the eye and listens to the cool, calm voice of reason. When facing a difficult situation, it s easy to become overwhelmed by anxiety, anger or other negative feelings. If you imagine that something bad will happen, you could become paralyzed and end up doing nothing. The lack of action will reinforce your fears, and you might end up lashing out at others in frustration. Emotions are real and vital. And you should always be in touch with your instincts and intuition. But it s important to consider logical and practical considerations as a balance when you re reacting to what s going on around you. The combination of the two can lead to better decisions and more effective action. So when you re in a tough position, instead of focusing on the worst possible outcome, step back and ask yourself two questions. First, what assumptions are causing me to worry or feel afraid? And second, how can I check whether these assumptions are actually true? Addressing these questions can help you calm down, because you have to engage the logical part of your brain in order to think about the answers. And most likely, you ll handle the situation very well. Just remember, you have the ability to apply common sense and sound judgment to any challenge you face. Page 63

64 The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it. - Brendan Francis Behan, Irish author ( ) We can chart our future clearly and wisely only when we know the path which has led to the present. - Adlai E. Stevenson, American politician ( ) We must have strong minds, ready to accept facts as they are. - Harry Truman, American president ( ) Common sense is not so common. - Francois Voltaire, French philosopher ( ) In science, all facts, no matter how trivial or banal, enjoy democratic equality. - Mary McCarthy, American novelist ( ) Men are apt to mistake the strength of their feeling for the strength of their argument. The heated mind resents the chill touch and relentless scrutiny of logic. - William Gladstone, British prime minister ( ) Say not always what you know, but always know what you say. - Claudius, Roman emperor (10 B.C.-A.D. 54) Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha, Indian founder of Buddhism (B.C ) Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. - Henri Bergson, French philosopher ( ) It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well. - Rene Descartes, French mathematician ( ) Use common sense to an uncommon degree, and people will think you wise. Page 64

65 RESPONSIBILITY Do what needs to be done, and your world will be more to your liking. As a leader, you ll be in the perfect position to recognize when something new needs to get done. Someone will drop the ball, causing a shortfall. Something will come up, resulting in a new requirement. You ll be the first person to notice that a problem needs to be corrected. The question is, who will take care of it? How do you know when to take on a new responsibility? It s tempting to say no right off the bat because you may already feel overwhelmed with what s on your plate. And what if you aren t able to deliver? It s tough to put your reputation on the line when you aren t sure about the outcome. Maybe someone else will step up and take responsibility. The truth is, life s more interesting and exciting when you re involved in the action. Accepting challenges is how you get what you want and grow stronger as a person. You have a lot going for you. As a leader, you can use your strengths to figure out what to do and to turn opportunities into successes. When you get your chance to contribute, whether it s in your professional or personal life, why not go for it? Ultimately, you re in control of how much responsibility you take on. You can decide when to say no, and when to say yes. You can take on something new simply because you want to, knowing that it will, in some way, make your world a better place. Sometimes even a simple act that takes just 10 seconds can make a big difference, such as picking up litter by the side of the road. Remember, you have the strength within you to accept new roles and make sure important tasks get done. Page 65

66 The one quality that all successful people have is the ability to take on responsibility. - Michael Korda, American author (1933- ) We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It's easy to say It's not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem. - Fred Rogers, American TV host ( ) Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him. - Booker T. Washington, American educator ( ) Responsibilities gravitate to the person who can shoulder them. - Tom Stoppard, Czech playwright (1937- ) Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility. - Dietrich Bonheoffer, German theologian ( ) We need to restore the full meaning of that old word, duty. It is the other side of rights. - Pearl Buck, American novelist ( ) Duty is the sublimest word in the language; you can never do more than your duty; you should never wish to do less. - Robert E. Lee, American general ( ) You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today. - Abraham Lincoln, American president ( ) Do what you are expected to do, and you will survive. Do more than you are expected to do, and you will thrive. - Harvey Mackay, American author (1933- ) I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty. - John D. Rockefeller, American business leader ( ) Answer the call of duty, and you ll earn the rights and privileges. Page 66

67 SELF-AWARENESS Learn to love criticism, and you won t be seduced by praise. The most effective leaders are self-aware. They know who they are. They know what s important to them. They are honest with themselves about what they know and what they don t. They know what they re good at, and they know when they need the expertise of others. It isn t easy to be realistic about your own strengths and weaknesses. You may not be inclined to self-reflection. It can be scary to admit, even to yourself, that you re not strong in every area of your life. You may be concerned that others will think less of you. Most people go through life and don t take time to reflect on what they know and what they don t know. Recognize your expertise, and you can act confidently and decisively. But some people assume they know more than they really do, and they end up making mistakes. In areas where you lack knowledge, you re wise to seek the counsel of others. Acknowledge your strengths, and you can make the most of them. You can look for more opportunities to use them. And if you re aware of your weaknesses, you can decide how to work around with them. You can work with others who are strong in areas where you re not. Or you can work on a weak area to make it stronger. Page 67

68 Of all knowledge the wise and good seek most to know themselves. - William Shakespeare, British playwright ( ) Oh, what a great gift we would have if we could only see ourselves as others see us. - Robert Burns, Scottish poet ( ) An unexamined life is not worth living. - Socrates, Greek philosopher (B.C ) The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. - Norman Vincent Peale, American author ( ) Know thyself means this, that you get acquainted with what you know, and what you can do. - Menander, Greek playwright (B.C ) He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened. - Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher (Fl. B.C. 6th cent.) Feedback is the breakfast of champions. - Ken Blanchard, American author (1939- ) Just as people tend to overestimate their strengths, they also tend to overrate their weaknesses. - Marshall Goldsmith, American author (1949- ) All you need is the will to look hard enough within. - John Wooden, American college basketball coach ( ) To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are. - Eric Hoffer, American philosopher ( ) Play to your strengths, and they will help you win. Page 68

69 SELF-CONFIDENCE Make confidence your ally, and you ll win most of your battles. Most of the time, success depends on bold action. But you can t expect people to do that without self-confidence. Confidence and the lack of it are contagious. Approach new challenges with confidence, and you ll be able to encourage it in your team members. When you take on something unfamiliar, a new project, a new job, a new career, a new relationship, or a new responsibility, it s natural to wonder if you can handle it. After all, you ve never done this before. You may wonder if you have the ability to do it. You may worry about failing or looking bad. The fact is, you ve taken on lots of new things throughout your life, and you probably did well with most of them. You learned from your mistakes, and you avoided repeating them later. Even if you re taking on something you ve never done before, you can be confident that you ve got what it takes to handle the situation. Whenever you find yourself questioning your ability to handle an unfamiliar situation, go through this exercise. Instead of worrying about what could go wrong, make a list of past successes you ve had throughout your life. Focus on the ones you re most proud of. What strengths, talents and skills did you draw on? Remember how good you felt when you were successful. Acknowledge the confidence you gained, knowing you had what it took to accomplish the task. You face new challenges all the time, because that s how life is. Acknowledge that you ve already earned the right to be confident, and you have within you everything you need to deal with the next one. Remembering this will boost selfconfidence and help you deal effectively with every new opportunity. Page 69

70 The will to do springs from the knowledge that we can do. - James Allen, British essayist ( ) Believe you can and you re halfway there. - Theodore Roosevelt, American president ( ) The most fearful unbelief is unbelief in yourself. - Thomas Carlyle, British essayist ( ) Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we often might win, by fearing to attempt. - William Shakespeare, British playwright ( ) Confidence is the result of hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication. - Roger Staubach, American professional football player (1942- ) There's a big difference between confidence and conceit. To me, conceit is bragging about yourself. Being confident means you believe you can get the job done. - Johnny Unitas, American professional football player ( ) If you don t think you can, you won t. - Jerry West, American professional basketball player (1938- ) If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can't accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through. - Rosalynn Carter, American first lady (1927- ) People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. - Norman Vincent Peale, American author ( ) Believe in yourself, even when no one else does. - Harvey Mackay, American author (1933- ) Learn, work and achieve; for all your confidence will be earned. Page 70

71 SELF-DEVELOPMENT Invest in your self-improvement, and you ll earn the highest dividends. If you re a leader, the members of your team will expect you to be knowledgeable. How can you expect things of them and coach them if you don t know what you re doing? How can you expect people to follow you if they don t respect your know-how? You re in charge of people because of what you know, and your ability to deal with people. It doesn t make sense for you stop learning now. The truth is, you need to learn faster than ever just to keep pace with the challenges of the changing workplace. And you can never know enough about people. When you re faced with learning something new, it s natural to feel resistance. Maybe you think it ll be too much work or you ll be uncomfortable trying something different. Sure, it s easier to stick with what you already know. But then you wouldn t be prepared for new opportunities. No one can make you learn anything. So getting stronger in the job is your responsibility. And there are a million ways to do it. You can read articles and books and watch videos. You can also find a mentor, someone with experience that you can talk to when you have a question. And remember that the best teacher is experience. Take on challenges and learn from them. Make learning and self-development a part of your job description. The more you know, the more you can do, the more valuable you become. Be a lifelong learner. Seek new knowledge, skills and wisdom, and you ll be prepared to handle any situation that comes your way. Page 71

72 When you make a mistake or get ridiculed or rejected, look at mistakes as learning experiences, and ridicule as ignorance. Look at rejection as part of one performance, not as a turn down of the performer. - Denis Waitley, American author (1933- ) It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden, American college basketball coach ( ) Every person you meet and everything you do in life is an opportunity to learn something. - Tom Clancy, American novelist (1947- ) The best of all things is to learn. Money can be lost or stolen, health and strength may fail, but what you have committed to your mind is yours forever. - Louis L'Amour, American novelist ( ) Habit is a cable; we weave a thread of it each day, and at last we cannot break it. - Horace Mann, American educator ( ) When you lose, don't lose the lesson. - Dalai Lama, Tibetan religious leader (1935- ) Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential. - Bruce Lee, Chinese actor ( ) If I have been able to see farther than others, it was because I stood on the shoulders of giants. - Isaac Newton, British scientist ( ) The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live. - Alfred Adler, Austrian psychiatrist ( ) Still I am learning. - Michelangelo Buonarroti, Italian artist ( ) Think of failure as fertilizer, and wisdom will have a place to grow. Page 72

73 SELF-DISCIPLINE Get control of yourself, and you ll set yourself free. As a leader, you don t control everything. But you can control how you spend your time and how team members spend their time. What should you be spending time on? Nearly always, it s this the top priority project. What you should do is often at odds with what you want to do. It s tough to stay on track and follow through, especially when you could be doing something more fun. That s why many people don't reach their goals. They don t say no to the easy stuff and say yes to the hard stuff often enough. But without self-discipline, you can t get the important things done. The first step is to recognize that selfcontrol comes from within. No one can give you discipline. Don t blame circumstances or other people for your failure to stay on track. Take responsibility for what you want to achieve. Next, make a conscious decision to control your thoughts and actions. Put yourself under a self-imposed plan with start times, stop times and deadlines. Stick with your schedule, even when you re tired or you feel lazy. Just say no to lesser priorities and do what you committed to do. Finally, keep track. Measure your progress at the end of the day, and hold yourself accountable for what you accomplished. At the same time, review the payoffs you got from completing these tasks. This will fuel your motivation and help you stick with your plan. Remember, you ve concentrated your efforts many times before, even when it wasn t easy. You re strong enough to block out distractions and do what you have to do to reach your goal. Page 73

74 Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways. - H. Jackson Brown, American author (1940- ) There never has been, and cannot be, a good life without self-control. - Leo Tolstoy, Russian novelist ( ) In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves self-discipline with all of them came first. - Harry Truman, American president ( ) To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others. - Buddha, Indian founder of Buddhism (B.C ) The first and best victory is to conquer self. - Plato, Greek philosopher (B.C ) Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness. - Jean de la Bruyère, French author ( ) How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most. - Stephen Covey, American author (1932- ) Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German poet ( ) You will never find time for anything. You must make it. - Charles Buxton, British aviator ( ) Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. - Jim Rohn, American author ( ) Do the important stuff now, and you'll have lots of time later for everything else. Page 74

75 SELF-ESTEEM Appreciate your good qualities, and others will do the same. A leader has to be effective with people. But to get along with others, you need to feel good about yourself. If you re needy, overly sensitive and unsure about your worth, you won t be strong for your people in tough situations. It s not easy to build and maintain strong self-esteem. Most of us were raised to seek approval and acceptance. We want others to like us, so we try to please them. But if you take the desire for acceptance too far, you can sacrifice your own needs and rights. When you lack a strong sense of your own worth, you look to others to validate who you are, and you won t have a good, strong opinion of yourself. The key is to appreciate your unique value and develop an unshakable belief in yourself. When you hold yourself in high regard, you won t let criticism from others disturb you. You may listen to their words, and you may even give them serious thought, but they won t affect the way you see yourself, because you trust your own opinion of yourself more. The more you like and accept yourself, the stronger you become. Start by listing your strengths and remembering past successes. Recognize the good things you have going for you, and give yourself full credit for what you have to offer. Page 75

76 Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. - Malcolm S. Forbes, American publisher ( ) Be a friend to thyself, and others will be so too. - Thomas Fuller, British clergyman ( ) Compassion for myself is the most powerful healer of them all. - Theodore I. Rubin, American psychiatrist (1923- ) Until you value yourself you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. - M. Scott Peck, American psychiatrist (1936- ) Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth. - Aesop, Greek fabulist (B.C ) Nothing is a greater impediment to being on good terms with others than being ill at ease with yourself. - Honoré de Balzac, French novelist ( ) Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else. - Nathaniel Branden, American psychologist (1930- ) Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality. - Les Brown, American author (1945- ) Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Buddha, Indian founder of Buddhism (B.C ) I don t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. - Bill Cosby, American actor (1937- ) Wear the armor of self-respect, and nothing will penetrate it. Page 76

77 SERVICE Serve not for praise or reward, though both are certain in the end. A leader who doesn t approach his role with a spirit of service is a liability to the organization. Overstated? Not really. Yes, it s good to contribute to your community in some way. That s an excellent way to serve. Even if you can give a small amount of time, that s all it takes to positively influence the lives of others. Donating even an hour can help. But a leader serves in other ways. Who benefits from the work of your group? Customers? People inside the organization? Whoever it is, your mission is to serve them. They need things from you, and it s your responsibility to provide them in the best possible way, and to find even better ways of meeting their needs. That s service. And as a leader, who benefits from your leadership? Obviously, it s the members of your team. They need things from you, and it s your job to provide them. Encouragement, feedback, coaching, instruction, guidance, vision, inspiration, authority, boundaries, information, funds, supplies, equipment, time, space, personnel the list goes on. The more effectively you serve them in this role, the better they ll perform as a group to achieve the team goals. Once you think of yourself as a servant, someone whose mission in life is to give people what they need to succeed, you ll take a giant step towards being an effective leader. Page 77

78 Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. - Mother Teresa, Indian humanitarian ( ) Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame. - Alexander Pope, British poet ( ) One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. - Albert Schweitzer, French philosopher ( ) In the time we have it is surely our duty to do all the good we can to all the people we can in all the ways we can. - William Barclay, Scottish theologian ( ) The ultimate aim of the hero s quest must be neither release nor ecstasy for oneself, but the wisdom and power to serve others. - Joseph Campbell, American anthropologist ( ) Life s most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others? - Martin Luther King, Jr., American civil rights leader ( ) The good that you do will come back to you and it really doesn t cost very much. - David Packard, American business leader ( ) We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects. - Herman Melville, American novelist ( ) It's not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It's the customer who pays the wages. - Henry Ford, American business leader ( ) I want it said of me by those who knew me best, that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow. - Abraham Lincoln, American president ( ) Pay your dues in service, and you ll enjoy the benefits of membership. Page 78

79 THOROUGHNESS If you look only for what you want to see, that s what you will find. In his life, billionaire Ross Perot led many successful enterprises. His most famous comment about leadership: The devil is in the details. Overlook one essential fact and your decision could lead to disaster. When you re enthusiastic about a new project, it s normal to want to jump right in and get started. Researching, checking facts and planning are not exciting parts of your job. So you might be tempted to go with your instincts, especially if this approach has worked for you in the past. But if you charge ahead without thorough preparation and thorough execution, you could make mistakes that cost you big time. It s worth taking time to think things through. As they say, do your due diligence. Ask the right questions and you ll avoid mistakes and failure down the road. You don t want to do things over, so attend to the details upfront. Before you take action, get the facts and check them for accuracy. Identify your options and evaluate the potential consequences of each one, both good and bad. This will help you draw the right conclusions, make the best decision and proceed with confidence. Remember, you have the ability to be methodical and think things through. If you consider all the important facts, you ll make decisions you won t regret later. Page 79

80 Genius is the capacity for taking infinite pains. - Thomas Carlyle, British essayist ( ) Chance does nothing that has not been prepared beforehand. - Alexis de Tocqueville, French historian ( ) Before everything else, getting ready is the secret to success. - Henry Ford, American business leader ( ) It is nonsense to say there is not enough time to be fully informed. Time given to thought is the greatest time-saver of all. - Norman Cousins, American publisher ( ) A man's accomplishments in life are the cumulative effect of his attention to detail. - John Foster Dulles, American secretary of state ( ) Just one accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions. - Grace Hopper, American admiral ( ) Any mental activity is easy if it need not take reality into account. - Marcel Proust, French novelist ( ) It does not do to leave a dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him. - J. R. R. Tolkien, British novelist ( ) Beware of the man who won't be bothered with details. - William Feather, American author ( ) I get the facts, I study them patiently, I apply imagination. - Bernard Baruch, American business leader ( ) Detail by detail, your vision will become real. Page 80

81 TOLERANCE Let others be themselves, and they ll return the favor. There s no one exactly like you. Everyone on earth is different. There are so many ways to be different skills, knowledge, education, experience, needs, motives, values, attitudes, personalities, culture, relationships the list goes on. What the best leaders do is accept the differences as a given, and then learn how to make the best use of them. It s common to feel annoyed or frustrated with people. Maybe they say something you believe is wrong or foolish. Their views on politics, religion or other topics may conflict with yours. Or their background, education, interests and personality just seem foreign to you. For all these reasons, it s tempting to avoid individuals who don t think the way you think or act the way you act. But when you do that, you rob yourself of the opportunity to learn, stretch and grow. People who aren t like you have something unique to contribute to the group effort, if you open your mind and let go of preconceived notions. Whenever you find yourself feeling irritated or impatient with someone s behavior, remember that your own uniqueness may seem strange to others, too. Your special gifts and strengths won t be valued if people write you off just because you re different. So do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Acknowledge their special ways of approaching things, and learn how they re valuable. Then do your best to make use of them. This practical approach to human relations is far more effective than blowing people off just because they aren t like you. And along the way, you ll learn a thing or two. Page 81

82 Toleration is good for all, or it is good for none. - Edmund Burke, British politician ( ) Share our similarities, celebrate our differences. - M. Scott Peck, American psychiatrist (1936- ) Human diversity makes tolerance more than a virtue; it makes it a requirement for survival. - René Dubos, French-American author ) What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly - that is the first law of nature. - Francois Voltaire, French philosopher ( ) The capacity for getting along with our neighbor depends to a large extent on the capacity for getting along with ourselves. The self-respecting individual will try to be as tolerant of his neighbor's shortcomings as he is of his own. - Eric Hoffer, American philosopher ( ) You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. - Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher ( ) It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are 20 gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg. - Thomas Jefferson, American president ( ) Anger and intolerance are the twin enemies of correct understanding. - Mohandas Gandhi, Indian religious leader ( ) We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color. - Maya Angelou, American author (1928- ) One who looks for a friend without faults will have none. - Jewish Proverb Discover what you have in common, and the differences won t seem so important. Page 82

83 TRUST Trust thoroughly and well, and people will want to prove worthy. People will not follow someone they don t trust. When you say something, people need to believe you re telling the truth. When you say you ll do something, they need to know you ll come through for them. And trust drives teamwork, too. People won t cooperate with each other if they don t trust each other. But it isn t easy to trust someone. You can t always be sure that people will do what they say they ll do. If someone has broken a promise to you in the past, it s natural for you to question whether you can count on them now. And for people you don t know well, you may wonder if they ll come through for you. The foundation of every solid relationship is trust. But building trust doesn t happen overnight. It takes time. That s because people need evidence that you re someone they can count on. And proof is shown through your behavior. Author Stephen Covey refers to this as making deposits into another s emotional bank account. Each time you follow through and do what you say you ll do, you re adding to the value of the account. The problems is, you can make dozens of deposits over a period of time and build a strong relationship, only to destroy it in a single moment if you break trust. When you lie, cover up information, betray a confidence or fail to honor a commitment, you undermine the faith the other person has placed in you. To earn the trust of others, start by showing trust in them. Give them the benefit of the doubt unless their words and actions prove otherwise. And go the extra mile to prove to them that you re a person who will keep your word and follow through on your promises. Page 83

84 The man who trusts men will make fewer mistakes than he who distrusts them. - Camillo Benso Conte Di Cavour, Italian statesman ( ) The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him. - Harry Lewis Stimson, American statesman ( ) One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life. - E. M. Forster, British novelist ( ) Trust everybody, but cut the cards. - Finley Peter Dunne, American journalist ( ) It is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest, that holds human associations together. - H. L. Mencken, American columnist ( ) Trust is the lubrication that makes it possible for organizations to work. - Warren Bennis, American author (1925- ) The toughest thing about the power of trust is that it's very difficult to build and very easy to destroy. - Thomas J. Watson, Sr., American business leader ( ) Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men is primarily based on mutual trust. - Albert Einstein, American physicist ( ) Trust has to be earned, and should come only after the passage of time. - Arthur Ashe, American professional tennis player ( ) The senses deceive from time to time, and it is prudent never to trust wholly those who have deceived us even once. - Rene Descartes, French mathematician ( ) Do your due diligence, and trust will seem less risky. Page 84

85 VISION Let yourself dream, and the dream will show you how to do it. Leaders are concerned about doing the right things. What should your group be working on? What s their purpose and goal? What s the top priority right now? Team members will look to you for direction. A leader needs to know where the team is going, so it s clear what people should be working on right now. One problem with seeing a desired future outcome is that it takes a lot of work to make it come true. And it can be controversial. You can expect roadblocks, mistakes and resistance most of it unpredictable. Even after a lot of striving, you could still face challenges. But if you want the work of your team to have meaning and purpose, you need to have a clear vision of the ultimate outcome, so can you describe what you want and get them to work on it. Without that vision, it will be nearly impossible to get your people fired up about their work. Take a few minutes each morning to do two things. First remember where your team is headed and what they re trying to achieve. Then rehearse your day. Use your imagination to create a vivid picture of the effort you want today. The sharper the image and the stronger you feel about it, the easier it will be to communicate it to others. Page 85

86 You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time. - Charles F. Kettering, American engineer ( ) Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Langston Hughes, American poet ( ) Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. - James Allen, British essayist ( ) Just because a man lacks the use of his eyes doesn't mean he lacks vision. - Stevie Wonder, American singer-composer (1950- ) Dream big dreams! Imagine that you have no limitations and then decide what's right before you decide what's possible. - Brian Tracy, American author (1944- ) We think too small, like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view. - Mao Tse-tung, Chinese political leader ( ) When you discover your mission, you will feel its demand. It will fill you with enthusiasm and a burning desire to get to work on it. - W. Clement Stone, American businessman ( ) Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When you don't know what harbor you're aiming for, no wind is the right wind. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Roman playwright (B.C. 4-A.D. 65) The past does not equal the future. - Anthony Robbins, American author (1960- ) People with goals succeed because they know where they re going. - Earl Nightingale, American businessman ( ) Look to the future, and it won t be such a big surprise when it gets here. Page 86

87 The Authors Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D. Denny has been CEO of Performance Support Systems, Inc., since He has studied the human brain and how it learns for over 25 years. In 1988 he developed MindFrames, a personality assessment based on cognitive neuroscience. In 1994 he created 20/20 Insight, an online multi-source survey platform, used by millions of people worldwide. Denny is also the creator of ProStar Coach, an online virtual coaching service for developing personal strength and people skills. He s been in the learning and development business for over 35 years. During that time, he has focused on helping people learn and grow stronger for the challenges of life and work. For decades, he s been pursuing two questions. How do people learn - how does it really happen in the brain? And what can people learn that will make the biggest difference in their lives? These days Denny spends most of his time writing about personal development, communication skills, personal strengths and parenting teens. Denny can be reached at denny@prostarcoach.com. Meredith M. Bell, M.A. Meredith loves encouraging action-oriented people to make changes that help them achieve greater success. She s been doing this as president of Performance Support Systems (PSS) since During that time, Meredith has coached thousands of business leaders. Meredith is a major contributor to the learning materials in all the company s products, especially ProStar Coach. This unique virtual coaching system combines assessment, learning resources and a self-selected coaching network to help people ingrain skills and new behavior patterns. During her professional career of more than 38 years, Meredith has been in the role of coaching, encouraging and helping others deal with their challenges. Known on the Internet as Your Voice of Encouragement, Meredith regularly shares encouraging insights she s gained in her life s journey. As the head of marketing and sales for the company, Meredith is always looking for great joint-venture and affiliate relationships. You can contact her at meredith@prostarcoach.com. Page 87