Knowing the Difference Between Players and Pretenders

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1 SETTING THE LEADERSHIP STANDARD Knowing the Difference Between Players and Pretenders Dr. John C. Maxwell Volume 2, Number 0 In every organization there are those people who would rather act the part than do their part. I ve classified these people as pretenders. Pretenders can slow an organization down, steal momentum and damage relationships in an organization. They live for themselves. When an organization needs we people, the I people either change or get exposed. In order for a pretender to become a player, major changes in personality and thought patterns must take place. I experienced much more success when I learned to tell the difference between the players, and the pretenders. Bill Purvis Pretenders look the part, talk the part, claim the part, but fall short of fulfilling the part. Players Verses Pretenders 1. Players have a mind set; Pretenders have a mind set. MONTHLY MENTORING LEADERSHIP GROWTH SERIES

2 Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that man is here for the sake of their men above all for those upon whose smile and well-being our own happiness depends, and also for the countless unknown souls, with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received. Albert Einstein Question: How can you tell if you have a servant attitude? Answer: By the way you when you are treated like one. 2. Players are -conscious. Pretenders are -conscious. Players will give up a to achieve a mission. Pretenders will give up a to achieve a position. David Rae has conducted among his peers in the Young Presidents Organization, discovering that most CEOs are less afraid of dying than they are of not making a contribution to their world. Success is my purpose in life, to my maximum potential; seeds that benefit others. The Success Journey 2

3 We live in an age disturbed, confused, bewildered, afraid of its own forces, in search not merely of its road but even its direction. There are many voices of counsel, but few voices of vision; there is much excitement and feverish activity, but little concert of thoughtful purpose. We are distressed by our ungoverned, undirected energies and do many things, but nothing long. It is our duty to find ourselves. Woodrow Wilson Princeton, Players are love what they do and do it well. Pretenders are can t do it where they are, but think they could do it better where they are going. Pretenders have They think success is always somewhere else. They think success is with someone else. They think success today is impossible because of yesterday. 4. Players can the goods; Pretenders the goods. We always hear about the haves and have-nots. Why don t we hear about the doers and do-nots? Thomas Sowell There is a man in the world who never gets turned down, wherever he chances to stray; He gets the glad hand in the populous town, or out where the farmers make hay; He is greeted with pleasure on deserts of sand, and deep in the isles of the woods; Wherever he goes there is a welcoming hand He s the man who delivers the goods. Walt Whitman 3

4 Les do Like Gooch Done! An illiterate salesman by the name of Gooch was sent out by a large company, and the following are some letters he wrote back to the boss: Dear boss: I seen this outfit which they ain t never bought a dime s worth of nothin from us and I sole them a couple hundred thousand dollars worth of guds. I am now in Chicago. The second letter read: I come here and sole them half a milyon. The president of the company posted these letters on the bulletin board with this note: We bin spending too much time here tryin to spel instead of trin to sel. Let s watch these sails. I want everybody should read these letters from Gooch who is doing a grate job for us, and you should go out and do like he done. 5. Players love to see succeed; Pretenders are only interested in their success. The purpose of life is not to win. The purpose of life is to grow and to share. When you come to look back on all that you have done in life, you will get more satisfaction rom the pleasure you have brought into other people s lives than you will from the times that you outdid and defeated them. Rabbi Harold Kushner 4

5 Over the past 30 years, I have evolved from to to to 6. Players value ; Pretenders value. God grant that men of principle shall be our principal men. Thomas Jefferson The rules of navigation are: What s under the surface should carry more weight than what s above the surface if the ship is going to make it through the storms without capsizing. Integrity is like this, what s under the surface better be greater than what s above. 7. Players make the choices; Pretenders make the choices. When you come to a fork in the road, take it. Yogi Berra The problem with the soft choice: We all have the power of choice, but once used, our choice has power over us. Why Hard Choices are Hard to Make (1) The is on the front end, the is on the back end. (2) Few people gather and affirm the choice. (3) The hard choice includes risk. 5

6 (4) The hard choice usually places and the above self. Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision. Peter Drucker 8. Players out; Pretenders out. Danger: Some people start as players, then after a few years of success, they begin to go through the motions and become a pretender! Why? (1) We overestimate the and we underestimate the. Little strokes fell great oaks. (2) We get of the fight. You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. (3) We fail to. What got you there won t keep you there. Ben Franklin Margaret Thatcher Final Thoughts About Players 1. They are. Leaders do not try to perform for the follower s benefit. They are open and truthful. They have nothing to hide. Truth really does set you free. You aren t constantly trying to cover up. Pretending to be real is a lot more exhausting than just being real. 6

7 2. They are to themselves. They know inwardly if they have given their best. 3. They are. The law of the teacher: If you stop growing today, you stop teaching tomorrow. Neither personality nor methodology can substitute for this principle. You cannot communicate out of a vacuum. You cannot impart what you do not possess. If you don t know it truly know it you can t give it. This law embraces the philosophy that I, as a teacher, am primarily a learner. (Howard Hendricks, Teaching to Change Lives, Multnomah Press, 1987) After all, experience does not necessarily make you better; in fact it tends to make you worse, unless it s evaluated experience. The good teacher s greatest threat is satisfaction the failure to keep asking, How can I improve? The greatest threat to your ministry is you ministry. (Howard Hendricks, Teaching to Change Lives, Multnomah Press, 1987, Page 50) Three Questions: (1) What have you learned today? (2) What did you learn yesterday that you have shared with others today? (3) When is the last time you changed something for the first time? 4. They are. They know it takes persistence to win. The National Sales Executive Association survey unearthed these startling findings: 80% of all new sales are made after the fifth call to the same prospect. 48% of all salespeople make one call then cross off the prospect. 25% quit after the second call. 12% call three times then quit. 10% keep calling. It s the 10% who persist and are rewarded. They collect the dividends on what the others invested. 7

8 5. They light. They know that the baggage of envy, jealousy, pride, and selfish ambition would eventually destroy them. The Successful Journey Process: We do not travel far in life until we experience (1) This is the external test of determination. Then (2) Those around us that don t want to pay the price, leave. Then (3) This is the internal test of character and motives. Then (4) This separation is caused by our growth and development. Then (5) We rise up as leaders of maturity and strength. Note: Pretenders fail to go through the Aloneness stages of their lives. Answers: Servant s; Selfish; React; Mission; Position; Position; Mission; Knowing; Growing; Sowing; Job Happy; Job Hunters; Destination Disease; Someone Sickness; Backslider Blues; Deliver; Promise; Others; Own; Competitor; Personal Achiever; Team Player; Team Builder; Integrity; Image; Hard; Soft; Price; Pay Off; Hard; Always; Others; Organization; Finish; Fade; Event; Process; Tired; Change; Transparent; True; Teachable; Tenacious; Travel; Adversity; Aloneness; Accomplishments; Aloneness; Attractiveness 8

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