The Wellbeing Course. Resource: Managing Beliefs. The Wellbeing Course was written by Professor Nick Titov and Dr Blake Dear

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Gervais Hodges
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1 The Wellbeing Course Resource: Managing Beliefs The Wellbeing Course was written by Professor Nick Titov and Dr Blake Dear

2 About Beliefs Beliefs are the conscious or unconscious ideas we have about ourselves, the world around us and the future. Beliefs often take the form of rules we have about who we are, how we should be and how the world should work. Beliefs are important because they affect the way we see things in our lives. Our beliefs have a huge impact on what we think, how we feel and what we do. For example, if you believe All people have good intentions, then this will affect how you respond to others and whether you trust other people. If you hold the opposite belief that All people are out to get me, you are unlikely to trust others and will behave very differently. The beliefs we have usually develop early in our life. We can be taught our beliefs by significant others, like parents or family members. They can also be influenced by both our positive and negative life experiences. Types of Beliefs We can have two main types of beliefs: 1. Helpful beliefs that are realistic and flexible. 2. Unhelpful beliefs that are unrealistic and rigid. Unhelpful Helpful Unrealistic Rigid Realistic Flexible I must be perfect all the time It is ok to not be perfect all the time Unhelpful beliefs can have a significant impact on our emotional wellbeing. Most of the time unhelpful beliefs go unnoticed and may only become a problem when we face difficult situations. For example, someone who believes I must be perfect all the time may only struggle with their emotional wellbeing after receiving criticism from their boss. But, otherwise, they might have been fine. 2

Beliefs and Thoughts When challenging your thoughts, which we covered in Lesson 2, you may have noticed that certain thoughts keep coming up for you and that certain thoughts were difficult to

For example, beliefs that we are "not good enough" can make us have thoughts that lead to self-doubt, low self-esteem and low confidence.

3 Beliefs and Thoughts When challenging your thoughts, which we covered in Lesson 2, you may have noticed that certain thoughts keep coming up for you and that certain thoughts were difficult to challenge. This often happens when the thoughts are coming from a strongly held belief. Beliefs are the driving force behind our thoughts. For example, beliefs that we are "not good enough" can make us have thoughts that lead to self-doubt, low self-esteem and low confidence. As you can see in the image below, many similar types of unhelpful thoughts can come from a single belief. So, unhelpful beliefs are often at the root of unhelpful thoughts. Thoughts I will be alone for ever No one likes me She s laughing at me because I look like an idiot. I probably won t get the job Beliefs I am unlovable 3

4 The good news is that unhelpful beliefs can be challenged. They just take more time and practice to challenge than thoughts. In fact, two things that people often tell us about challenging beliefs is that: Beliefs often change in intensity and this is helpful. While it takes time and practice, people do find they can challenge and change unhelpful thoughts. In contrast, most people find it is very hard to change their beliefs entirely. But, most people also say that by challenging their beliefs they can reduce their intensity (e.g., from 100% to 80% belief in something) and that this can be very helpful. Knowing our beliefs is helpful in itself. Challenging beliefs takes time. But, even without changing their beliefs, most people tell us it is helpful just to think about their beliefs and to know what their beliefs are. They find that knowing their beliefs often helps them to understand the thoughts they have and the reasons they behave the way they do. Beliefs can be hard to identify but many people find it is helpful to review their thoughts and try to identify common themes in their thoughts. If you find that you are having the same or similar thoughts, they may stem from a single belief. For example Thoughts I can t trust this person I must be careful all the time People are out to get me Belief The world is a dangerous place I need to look attractive all the time I can t make any mistakes I must always be interesting I need to be perfect 4

Beliefs About Symptoms Many people find that the way they think about their symptoms of anxiety and low mood can have an important impact on their emotional wellbeing.

Beliefs about symptoms are often difficult to identify because we don t often think about them. To help you identify them we have listed some of the more common beliefs about symptoms.

5 Beliefs About Symptoms Many people find that the way they think about their symptoms of anxiety and low mood can have an important impact on their emotional wellbeing. We can hold unhelpful beliefs about our symptoms, and the beliefs that can influence the severity of our symptoms and affect our motivation to tackle them. Beliefs about symptoms are often difficult to identify because we don t often think about them. To help you identify them we have listed some of the more common beliefs about symptoms. Positive Beliefs About Symptoms These are beliefs that the symptoms we experience serve a useful purpose. Negative Beliefs About Symptoms These are beliefs that the symptoms are worse than they actually are. My symptoms keep me safe and help me cope with things My symptoms help to prepare me and prevent bad things from happening My symptoms help me avoid rejection and failure My symptoms help me avoid disappointment My symptoms motivate me to monitor my health My symptoms help me to get the care and support I need I will always have these symptoms I am abnormal because I experience these symptoms My symptoms are a sign of weakness I have no control over my symptoms These symptoms will get worse and eventually drive me crazy Nobody would want me if they find out about my symptoms and the difficulties I have Identifying Beliefs Beliefs usually take the form of very fundamental statements about ourselves, others and the world. They can be difficult to identify at first and to separate from everyday unhelpful thoughts. But, our beliefs can often be identified by a series of questions, which you ask yourself over and over until you arrive at a fundamental statement. Below are some of the questions previous people have found helpful: 5

6 What does this mean or say about me? What does this mean or say about others? What does this mean or say about the world? What does this mean or say about the future? What is so bad about this? What does that mean for me? What is it about this that really bothers me? Why would it be so bad? What if it is really true? What does that mean for me? Once we have identified an unhelpful thought, we simply repeatedly ask and answer the above questions until we end up with a very fundamental statement about ourselves, others or the world. The fundamental statement is usually our belief! Importantly, there is no right question and no correct sequence for the questions. You just keep asking and answering them until you uncover a belief. Some More Common Beliefs The world is dangerous I must be perfect I am helpless I am vulnerable Everyone must like me I do not belong I am worthless People cannot criticise me I have to excel I am bad I am alone I am useless I have to be 100% sure I do not deserve things People will betray me I must not feel sad Failing is unacceptable My body is frail Life is unfair I am weak You can t be sick and happy I am not loveable Life is burdensome I can t handle anything People have to respect me No-one cares about me There is nothing I can do 6

7 Challenging Beliefs Beliefs are often harder to challenge and shift than everyday thoughts. So, please be kind to yourself and realistic in your expectations. Many people find it helpful just to be aware of their beliefs and to try to reduce the strength of their beliefs over time - rather than completely change them. Challenging your beliefs involves the same three steps as Thought Challenging, which are: 1. Recognise the Belief The truth is we all have unhelpful beliefs. However, they can be tricky to identify. One of the challenges is that some beliefs can be helpful for most of our lives and then unhelpful as our lives change in significant ways. When trying to recognise their beliefs, people often tell us: Look for common themes amongst your thoughts. If you have a number of similar thoughts or you are finding particular thoughts difficult to challenge, there may be a belief underlying them. Gently explore your beliefs over time. Some people find it helpful just to start to think about what their beliefs are around whatever it is they are facing. 2. Examine the Belief Most people do not consider whether their beliefs are helpful or unhelpful. Or, whether they are realistic and fair. We often assume our beliefs are 100% true, helpful, fair and realistic all the time. But, this isn t often the case. When examining their beliefs, people often tell us: It is helpful to consider whether they would be happy for someone they cared about to have the same belief. And, to consider: Is it a helpful belief? Is there strong evidence for the belief? Is it a fair belief? Is the belief accurate? It is helpful to keep an eye out for absolute statements in our beliefs. For example, the use of should, must, have to, always, never, everyone in our beliefs is often a sign that they may be unhelpful. This is because helpful beliefs are more flexible and acknowledge that nothing is black or white or set in stone. 3. Do Something Helpful This is the most important step. Unhelpful beliefs are unhelpful. So, if the belief isn t helpful, challenge the belief by doing something helpful or thinking of a more helpful belief. When challenging their beliefs, people often tell us it is helpful to: Directly challenge unhelpful beliefs with more helpful and realistic beliefs. Do something, even something small, to help you cope or feel better. Remind yourself the belief is not 100% true and state how much you believe the belief e.g., 80%, 50%, 20%. 7

- What would I say to a friend with this belief? Step 3: Do something helpful Do Something: - Make the belief more helpful and realistic. - Take action to solve the underlying problem.

8 Step 1: Recognise the belief - What is going through my mind? - What is my underlying belief? - What does this say about me, others or the world? Step 2: Examine the belief - What is the evidence for this belief? - Is the belief helping me to feel or cope well? - Is this belief helping me to do what I want to do? - What would I say to a friend with this belief? Step 3: Do something helpful Do Something: - Make the belief more helpful and realistic. - Take action to solve the underlying problem. - Do something to help you cope or feel better. I am a failure (so I don t try anything challenging) I am weak (so I doubt my abilities and my worth) As soon as you start to think about what a failure is you realise there is no way to define it. We all have areas in our lives and pasts, which we are not happy with. But, then when we look there are good areas. I have a beautiful family, who adore me and who I d do anything for. Even though things have changed a lot lately, they would not call me a failure. I have successfully coped with a lot of challenges in my life. I have some real limitations but that does not make me weak or worthless I don t think others with depression are worthless. My friends always turn to me for support, and I have never let them down. My family respect me and think that I am pretty tough. The things I truly value in life are my family and being a helpful / supportive person. I have done well in both areas I invested my energy to build a great family, and while my health is a challenge, I still try to do everything I can for the people I care about. It s difficult to define what a failure is and there is probably little point in thinking about it. My symptoms make me doubt my abilities. I have limitations but that doesn t make me weak. I have to accept that this is just my belief rather than a fact. I know in reality I have managed to cope with a lot (and still do) and this shows that I am not a weak person. The world is an unfair place. It is true the world is an unfair place. I often struggle with this belief, and the thoughts it causes, when things are at their worst. But, it really isn t a helpful belief and in truth there are always people who have an even more unfair deal than me. Telling myself this just isn t helpful. It doesn t help me to feel better or cope. When I struggle with this belief I just remind myself of all the other people dealing with similar challenges. Then, I focus on what I can do to improve things for me and my family. 8

9 Step 1: Recognise the belief - What is going through my mind? - What is my underlying belief? - What does this say about me, others or the world? Step 2: Examine the belief - What is the evidence for this belief? - Is the belief helping me to feel or cope well? - Is this belief helping me to do what I want to do? - What would I say to a friend with this belief? Step 3: Do something helpful Do Something: - Make the belief more helpful and realistic. - Take action to solve the underlying problem. - Do something to help you cope or feel better. Being rejected is the worst thing that can happen (so I avoid people so I don t get rejected). I should avoid conflict (so I always say yes to people, even when it puts me out). This may be true to an extent, but by avoiding people I am also depriving myself of opportunities to form future friendships or relationships. Avoiding people makes me feel increasingly isolated. Rejection is a normal part of life, it is not the end of the world getting rejected. Sometimes I resent myself for being so accommodating and end up taking out my frustration on others. Some friends of mine are able to refuse requests in a very polite way, and they don t seem too upset by others saying no. By avoiding relationships, I am doing myself more harm than good. It also keeps my symptoms going and makes me feel even more unloved. Being too accommodating is not necessarily a good thing, especially when I am ignoring my own rights and wishes. It is ok to be assertive and refuse requests. If I do it in an assertive manner, other people are likely to understand it. I am unlovable (so I don t allow other people to get close to me) I have some close friends. I have had some unsuccessful relationships, but I ve had some good ones as well. I am healthy, honest, and I am a helpful person. My parents love me unconditionally. Even though I am not a social butterfly, I do have some close friends who think highly of me. I have many strengths and there are people in my life who really value me. 9

Summary Our beliefs influence the way we think about ourselves, other people, the world around us and the future. We often don t think much about our beliefs and so most of the time they go unnoticed.

However, we can learn to become aware of our beliefs and to challenge our beliefs in the same way we have learnt to challenge thoughts.

10 Summary Our beliefs influence the way we think about ourselves, other people, the world around us and the future. We often don t think much about our beliefs and so most of the time they go unnoticed. But, when we experience a challenging medical condition, beliefs that were once helpful can become unhelpful and so can start to have a big impact on us and can be difficult to shift. However, we can learn to become aware of our beliefs and to challenge our beliefs in the same way we have learnt to challenge thoughts. The techniques described in the resource are very useful and we strongly encourage you to practice them. But, please remember to have realistic expectations for yourself and don t expect your beliefs to shift overnight. The MindSpot Clinic Team Copyright 2015 The MindSpot Clinic, Access Macquarie Ltd, Macquarie University All rights reserved. You may use and/or copy this information for personal reference only. The MindSpot Clinic endeavours to ensure all information contained in this material is correct at the time of inclusion. However, the accuracy of the material cannot be guaranteed and people using the information do so entirely at their own risk. The information may not be reproduced or published in any other way or by any means without the prior written consent of The MindSpot Clinic, Access Macquarie Ltd, and Macquarie University. 10

11 Worksheet: Challenging Beliefs Step 1: Recognise the belief - What is going through my mind? - What is my underlying belief? - What does this say about me, others or the world? Step 2: Examine the belief - What is the evidence for this belief? - Is the belief helping me to feel or cope well? - Is this belief helping me to do what I want to do? - What would I say to a friend with this belief? Step 3: Do something helpful Do Something: - Make the belief more helpful and realistic. - Take action to solve the underlying problem. - Do something to help you cope or feel better. 11

EXERCISE 1 Look through this list and underline any of the habits that you have a tendency toward:

EXERCISE 1 Look through this list and underline any of the habits that you have a tendency toward: Dealing with Reactive Habits: A CBT Primer One of the gifts of mindfulness training is helping us notice the myriad thoughts that arise in meditation just as they do in life, even if in life we often don