Bishop Mary Gray-Reeves When the Desert Comes to You; Faith for All Terrains

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1 T H E B E T H A M NOVEMBER 2014 CHESHVAN / KISLEV 5775 IN THIS ISSUE: Havdalah with IDF Soldiers PAGE 3 OPENING DOORS DIALOGUES WITH OUR NEIGHBORS: Bishop Mary Gray-Reeves When the Desert Comes to You; Faith for All Terrains FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 6:15 P.M., SANCTUARY DINNER AND DISCUSSION, 7:30 P.M., SOCIAL HALL We are honored to welcome Episcopal Bishop Mary Gray-Reeves, who will share personal reflections on how faith and the gathered community can offer sustenance and strength on life s journey. After the talk, you re invited to enjoy a delicious dinner in the Social Hall at which Bishop Mary will offer a teaching, along with Jewish commentary by Rabbi Janet Marder. Dinner will be prepared by the Poltava Committee all proceeds support our sister synagogue, Beth Am of Poltava, Ukraine. Our support is especially needed, as this small congregation is hosting and sheltering refugees from the revolution that has overtaken their country. Reservations are required for the dinner. To sign up by Monday, November 3, please visit the Poltava Dinner page at or pick up the registration form in the Beth Am office. This event is part of Beth Am s 60th birthday programming. Learn more at Post-Election Political Analysis PAGE 8 INSTALLATION OF: Rabbi Heath Watenmaker With Special Guest Rabbi Richard Levy FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 6:15 P.M., SANCTUARY; ONEG SHABBAT, 7:30 P.M., SOCIAL HALL Shabbat Salon: Ethics and Social Justice PAGE 8 Congregation Beth Am will celebrate the installation of our newest rabbi, Heath Watenmaker, on Friday night, November 14. In the few months that Rabbi Watenmaker has been with Beth Am, he has already made positive connections with members of all ages. Toddlers, teens, young families and longtime members have come to appreciate his intelligence, wit and warm personality. Our special guest that evening will be Rabbi Richard Levy, immediate past director of the Rabbinic School at HUC-JIR in Los Angeles, and a leader of the Reform movement. As president of the CCAR, Rabbi Levy was the primary author of the 1999 Statement of Principles for Reform Judaism; he has created several well-known prayerbooks and is a mentor to many rabbis across the country. Rabbi Levy will speak at the service, which is followed by a festive congregational Oneg Shabbat. CONTACT US AT (650)

2 From Rabbi Janet Marder Considering the End If they were wise, they would ponder this; they would gain insight into their end [Deuteronomy 32:29]. Burial or cremation? Moses, a man who has nearly completed his life s journey, wishes that his people would look ahead and take a longer view. Wise people, he says, remember that life will come to an end, and their lives are guided by that lesson. Many of you have come to meet with me to discuss your own end, or that of a loved one. Making decisions about what the funeral industry calls final arrangements is an act of courage and generosity towards one s survivors; it can also lead to a greater sense of personal peace. This month I want to discuss the vexed question of cremation vs. burial. The issue is a controversial one, primarily because it seems to involve a conflict between various Jewish values: respect for tradition, honor for the deceased, simplicity, modesty and care for the earth. I should make clear at the outset that Beth Am clergy will officiate at funerals for those who choose cremation as well as burial. But Jewish tradition stands firmly in favor of burial, and it s worth exploring the reasons for that stance. FIRST: Our bodies are not private property. Western culture celebrates personal autonomy and often identifies personhood with one s body. Jewish tradition offers a different view. Life comes to us as a gift we did nothing to deserve. We are not the ultimate owners of our bodies, just as we are not the ultimate owners of the earth. As long as we live, our bodies are on loan to us from the Creator, and we are responsible to the Creator for caring for the body properly. SECOND: The body should be treated with reverence. The body provides a physical home for the soul the spark of God within each of us; the unique, imperishable essence of the person. The soul possesses moral instincts, intentions and yearnings, but can accomplish nothing on its own; only when the soul is embodied in a physical structure can it engage in moral actions. Thus, the body s purpose is to serve as an instrument for performing good deeds. Jewish tradition therefore requires us to do everything possible to remain healthy and strong, so that each of us can fulfill our purpose to the best of our abilities. Judaism neither denigrates nor worships the body; instead it teaches us to treat our bodies respectfully and compassionately, providing them with nourishing food, proper hygiene, adequate sleep and exercise. So also, the tradition forbids any behavior which damages or mutilates the body. This respect for the body continues when life has ended. As long as the soul is within us, we take care of our bodies and do our best to serve the Creator. When the soul returns to its Source, Jewish tradition instructs us to care for the body in which the spirit was housed in a loving, reverent and dignified way. This care is offered by the chevrah kadisha (literally holy society ), the Jewish burial society found in most Jewish communities. Here in the Bay Area, it s Sinai Memorial Chapel that provides this care. The body is first washed carefully and gently in a ceremony called taharah (ritual cleansing) by members of the same sex as the deceased. They do not engage in casual conversation during the ritual; they offer prayers for the peace of the soul and recite passages from the Bible. Then, according to tradition, the body is wrapped in simple white shrouds (in Hebrew, tachrichim) garments that resemble those worn by the ancient High Priest on the Day of Atonement. The Talmud [Moed Katan 27b] tells us that Rabban Gamliel instituted this custom nearly 2,000 years ago so that the poor would not feel ashamed that they could not afford elaborate burial clothing. Today it serves to remind us that in death, we are all equal. Shrouds are made without pockets to signify that we carry nothing away with us in death. Material possessions are irrelevant now; all that remains are the memories and the good name we leave behind. Cremation the deliberate destruction of the body by fire runs counter to the Jewish teaching that we avoid any behavior that damages the human body. Just as we dispose of an old Torah scroll or any document that bears the name of God carefully and respectfully, we accord reverence to all who are made in the image of God. Jewish burial customs are inherently green in that they exist to facilitate the body s return to the earth in as simple and natural a way as possible, in accordance with the words of Genesis: For dust you are, and to dust you shall return (3:19). There is no Jewish requirement for a coffin they are often not used in Israel but are usually required by state law in the United States. Coffins should be as simple, modest and unadorned as possible; traditionally, they are made without metal parts. Soft wood, such as pine, is preferred, because it decomposes more easily. Embalming is forbidden; neither the human body nor the earth should be contaminated by toxic chemicals. Every decision about the disposition of our bodies, or that of someone we love, is a highly personal one. Please know that Beth Am clergy will respect the choices you make, and are always glad to discuss questions or concerns you have as you ponder the end of life. PAGE 2

3 JEWISH FILM SERIES: Fill the Void A Young Chasidic Woman Facing a Difficult Choice SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 3:30 P.M. BEIT KEHILLAH This powerful drama, winner of seven Israeli Academy Awards, tells the story of Shira Mendelman, an 18-year-old woman who has been raised within the Ultra-Orthodox Haredi community of Tel Aviv. Shira looks forward to an arranged marriage with a man chosen by her parents until her life changes abruptly. Boston Globe critic Peter Keough called the film exquisitely acted, radiantly shot, and delicately nuanced... a gripping film without victims or villains, an ambiguous tragedy drawing on universal themes of love and loss, self-sacrifice and self-preservation. Free - refreshments will be served. THE BETH ISRAEL AWARENESS COMMITTEE PRESENTS: Havdalah with IDF Soldiers Enjoy a Performance by the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) Ensemble SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8; HAVDALAH AND PERFORMANCE BY THE IDF ENSEMBLE, 6 P.M., SANCTUARY; RECEPTION TO FOLLOW, SOCIAL HALL Beth Am s Israel Awareness Committee, in collaboration with the Friends of the Israel Defense Forces (FIDF) and Congregation Kol Emeth, invites you to a festive Havdalah with a group of four young musicians from the Israel Defense Forces (IDF). This program is for the entire community. Havdalah will be followed by a 60-minute performance by the IDF musicians. Falafel and other Israeli food will be served after the performance. RSVP online at or by phone to Judith at (650) no later than Wednesday, November 5. Your contribution to the event is very much appreciated, and allows Beth Am to continue offering these Israeli cultural programs. Please send your donation to Congregation Beth Am with a note for Israeli Programs. The IDF musical ensembles perform wherever IDF forces are stationed, from the Northern Border of Israel to the South, whether on a base or in the field, or at a big event. Additionally, the ensembles perform shows on a voluntary basis for civilian populations. Co-sponsored by Friends of the IDF and Congregation Kol Emeth. BETH S 60 TH BIRTHDAY: Israel Trips Registration deadlines have been extended to Monday, November 3. SUMMER 2015 Unique, customized tracks for first-timers and returning travelers Customized tours in small groups ADULTS ONLY (ages 18+) April 26 - May 8, 2015 Led by Rabbis Janet and Shelly Marder and Orna Morad For more information about the trip for adults, please visit or contact Orna Morad at ornamorad@yahoo.com. FILIES WITH CHILDREN (including grandparents) June 23 - July 5, 2015 Led by Beth Am Educator Mike Mason For more information about the family trip, please visit or contact Rachel Tasch at rtasch@betham.org. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETH from STRE N G T H to STRE N G T H PAGE 3

4 SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY CONGREGATION BETH NOVEMBER 2014 For a more detailed calendar, visit our website at 9:00 Sunday Hebrew 9:00 Sunday Program 11:30 Hebrew Tutoring 11:45 11th-12th Grade Seminar With Rabbi Marder 4:00 Connections 4:00 Gesharim Program: Changing the Way We Die 6:00 Lecture by Yitzhak Sokoloff :00 Adult Hebrew Level E 4 7:30 Hashirim 4:15 7th Grade Hebrew 5:00 Salsa Bar 5:30 Tuesday Night Program 6:00 Confirmation 6:15 Adult Hebrew Level A2 7:30 Adult Hebrew Level C 9:00 Organizin 3:00 Hebrew 3:00 B nei Mit 4:00 Hagigah 4:00 Hebrew 5:45 Beginning 6:30 Ballroom 7:00 Adult B n 7:00 Adult He 7:30 Building 7:30 Tribes of 9:15 Achieving Work-Life Balance Through Mussar 10:00 Gan Haggim 3:00 Torah Circle :00 BAW Walk at Shoreline 7:30 Hashirim VETERANS DAY OFFICE CLOSED 9:00 Organizin 3:00 Hebrew T 3:00 B nei Mit 4:00 Hagigah 4:00 Hebrew P 4:00 Hebrew T 5:45 Beginning 6:15 Beit R fua 6:30 Ballroom 7:00 Adult He 7:30 B Pho 9:00 Sunday Hebrew 9:00 Sunday Program 11:30 Camp Beth Am 11:30 Hebrew Tutoring 11:30 Teen Torah Study with Rabbi Sarah Weissman 3:30 Yad l Yad Meeting :00 Adult Hebrew Level E 18 7:30 Hashirim 4:15 7th Grade Hebrew 5:00 Salsa Bar 5:30 Avodah! 5:30 Tuesday Night Program 6:00 Confirmation 6:15 Adult Hebrew Level A2 7:30 Adult Hebrew Level C 9:00 Organizin 3:00 Hebrew T 3:00 B nei Mit 4:00 Hagigah 4:00 Hebrew 5:45 Beginning 6:30 Ballroom 7:00 Adult B ne 7:00 Adult He 7:30 Tribes of 7:30 Building 9:00 Sunday Hebrew 9:00 Sunday Program :00 B Breakfast 25 9:15 Achieving Work-Life 11:00 Émigré Senior Chavurah Balance Through Mussar 9:15 BookChat 10:00 Chicken Soupers 7:30 Hashirim 11:30 Hebrew Tutoring 11:45 Jewish Book Month Reading & Lunch for Young Children 11:45 11th-12th Grade Seminar With Rabbi Marder 2:00 Avodah! 7:00 Teen Art Show OFFICE CLOSED AT 1 9:00 Organizin 3:30 B nei Mit 30 SAVE THE DATE TZEDEK SHABBAT 2014: HUMAN RIGHTS SHABBAT FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 6:15 P.M. Human Rights Shabbat is an initiative being North America, Europe and Israel to educate Je about the intersection of Jewish values and uni human rights. Please save the date to participate in this imp evening, as we hear from speakers within our o about the importance of defending human righ

5 g Meeting Tutoring zvah Tutoring Program Prayerbook Hebrew Dancing i Mitzvah brew Level B Blocks Israel Course g Meeting utoring zvah Tutoring rogram utoring Prayerbook Hebrew ancing brew Level B tography g Meeting utoring zvah Tutoring rogram Prayerbook Hebrew Dancing i Mitvah brew Level B Israel Course Blocks Calendar THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY A FUN JOURNEY INTO JEWISH-ISRAEL LITURGICAL MUSIC: FUN FILY CONCERT 5 8:00 Thursday Morning Minyan CP NEWMAN FALL CP :30 Émigré Torah Study 10:30 Adult Hebrew Level A3 12:00 Talmud 1:30 Jewish Spirituality Class 4:00 Hebrew Program 5:30 Teen Israel Class 6:15 Adult Hebrew Level D 7:00 B Planning Meeting 7:00 BAW Board Meeting 4:30 Teen Cooking Class 5:00 Lay-Led Gates of Prayer 5:15 Tot Shabbat 6:15 Tizmoret Shabbat Service: With Speaker Bishop Mary Gray-Reeves 7:30 Poltava Dinner With Bishop Mary Gray-Reeves 12 8:00 Thursday Morning Minyan :00 Meditation Group 15 10:30 Adult Hebrew Level A3 12:00 Talmud 1:30 Jewish Spirituality Class 4:00 Hebrew Program 5:30 Teen Israel Class 6:15 Jewish Meditation 6:15 Adult Hebrew Level D 6:45 Tinnitus Support Group 7:30 Board Meeting 10:00 Yoga for Israel 4:30 Teen Cooking Class 5:00 Lay-Led Gates of Prayer 5:30 Shabbat Sha-Boogie 6:15 Shabbat Service: Installation of Rabbi Heath Watenmaker 19 8:00 Thursday Morning Minyan :00 Meditation Group 22 9:00 Émigré Torah Study 10:30 Adult Hebrew Level A3 12:00 Talmud 1:30 Jewish Spirituality Class 4:00 Hebrew Program 6:15 Jewish Meditation 6:15 Adult Hebrew Level D 7:00 Healing Helping Hands 7:00 Teen Art Show 7:30 BAW Rosh Chodesh 7:30 Executive Committee 4:30 Teen Cooking Class 5:00 Lay-Led Gates of Prayer 5:30 Tot Shabbat 6:15 Shabbat Service in the Round: With AIPAC Speaker David Meyerson 7:30 Dinner with David Meyerson 7:30 Teen Art Show and Community Oneg Shabbat 8:00 Meditation Group 10:30 Bar Mitzvah Service: Rubin 4:00 Israel Family Concert 6:30 Jewish History in Russian 1 8:00 Meditation Group 10:30 B not Mitzvah Service: Merry/Patterson 3:30 My Jewish Discovery 6:0o Havdalah with IDF Soldiers 6:30 Biblical Character in World Art 10:30 B not Mitzvah Service: Tuch/Malmeister 3:00 Connections 3:30 Shabbat Salon: With Speaker Rabbi Henry Shreibman 6:3o Jewish History in Russian 10:30 Bar Mitzvah Service: Cooper 3:00 Connections 3:30 Jewish Film Series: Fill the Void 7:00 Teen Art Show SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 4 P.M., BEIT KEHILLAH Come for a joyful celebration of Jewish-Israel music with members of the Beit T filah Yisraeli (Israeli House of Prayer) ensemble, which engages children and adults with creative, dynamic and uplifting music. The performance will feature new Israeli melodies for traditional prayers, as well as prayers set to fun popular tunes such as Beatles music and show tunes. 2:00, NOON DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING 26 THANKSGIVING OFFICE CLOSED 27 OFFICE CLOSED 28 8:00 Meditation Group 29 g Meeting 5:00 Lay-Led Gates of Prayer zvah Tutoring 6:15 Shabbat Service held throughout wish communities versal ortant Shabbat wn community ts worldwide.

6 Jewish Meditation for Everyone With Beth Am Congregant Rachael Shea REGISTER TO PARTICIPATE IN AN INTERFAITH DIALOGUE: Building Bridges Bringing together a small group of Jews and Christians for lively discussions about questions of faith FIVE SESSIONS BEGINNING SUNDAY, JANUARY 11 5:30 TO 8:30 P.M., CONGREGATION BETH ; ALL SAINTS EPISCOPAL CHURCH, PALO ALTO; ST. TIMOTHY S EPISCOPAL CHURCH, MOUNTAIN VIEW FOUR SESSIONS: THURSDAYS, NOVEMBER 13, 20 AND DECEMBER 4, 11; 6:15 TO 7:15 P.M. ROOM BET ON THE LOWER CPUS Beginners welcome. Seasoned meditators welcome. In a give-and-take exchange, we will experience basic meditation practice through a Jewish lens in a Jewish context. We will note resonant points with rabbinical teachings, as well as with some yoga and Buddhist insights. Each week, we will have time for quiet practice, with a choice of suggested techniques. Week I: Breath. How can we pay attention to our breathing? Week II: Body. How do we become subtly aware of our physical presence? Week III: Mind. Do we think? Try not to think? Think about something in particular? Week IV: Open Attention. What does this mean? How do we know if it is happening? Rachael Shea has meditated regularly since 1972, with experience in yoga, mantra practice and Buddhist teachings. Since 1977, she has practiced and taught Continuum, a meditative movement and healing process which draws from the well of Jewish mysticism. She currently attends silent retreats with a cohort of meditation teachers gathered by the Institute for Jewish Spirituality. She leads meditation at Beth Am in Room Gimmel every Shabbat morning before Torah Study. Registration is now open! Come learn about yourself and your neighbor as you build understanding within a community of trusted friends. We will engage in a dialogue about Judaism and Christianity, two faiths which developed from a common source, and yet have shared many misunderstandings through the years. Together, in a safe environment, we will share our values and learn about each other s beliefs. The group will be limited to just a few participants from Beth Am. To register or for more information, please contact Bob at ffcircus@comcast. SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITY: Community Oneg Shabbat The Beth Am community gathers each Friday night at 6:15 p.m. to welcome Shabbat. Often, the service is followed by an Oneg Shabbat during which community members remain to schmooze and meet both old and new friends in a friendly and social atmosphere. If you d like to sponsor a community Oneg Shabbat in honor of a simchah special occasion please contact Beth Am Executive Director Rachel Tasch at rachel_tasch@betham.org, (650) PAGE 6

7 RABBI JANET MARDER AND DR. SUSAN MARKOWITZ LEAD: BookChat Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity, by Andrew Solomon Calling All Beth Am Men! Help Plan B Events for 5775 THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 7 TO 9 P.M., ROOM 16 SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 9:15 TO 10:45 A.M. BEIT KEHILLAH This monumental new work by National Book Awardwinning author Andrew Solomon centers on the true meaning of family. Eloquent, insightful, heartfelt and deeply moving, Far from the Tree tells the stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children, but also find profound meaning in doing so. Rabbi Marder will lead us in conversation about the book, along with Susan L. Markowitz, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and Beth Am member who specializes in working with individuals and families facing chronic medical and developmental issues. Solomon s startling proposition is that diversity is what unites us all. He writes about families coping with deafness, dwarfism, Down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, multiple severe disabilities, with children who are prodigies, who are conceived in rape, who become criminals, who are transgender. While each of these characteristics is potentially isolating, the experience of difference within families is universal. In Solomon s telling, these stories are everyone s stories. Help decide what Beth Am Men (B) will do this year! We will have a planning meeting on Thursday, November 6. Come with your ideas for activities and enjoy pizza and fellowship as well. If you are not receiving the B activities s (one to two each month), please send an to bam@betham.org, or call Dana at (408) and we will get you on the mailing list. A NOTE FROM THE PRESIDENT THE ANNUAL CPAIGN NEEDS YOU: Sent in Your Pledge Yet? Help Beth Am Reach Our Goal $265,000 $260,000 $240,000 $220,000 $200,000 Thank you to all of our early donors to this year s campaign! We hope all members will remember the Beth Am Annual Campaign in your giving plans this season and at year end. Your support goes directly to congregational operating expenses, such as staff, program costs and scholarships for all who need them. We can t do it without YOU. To make your gift, please visit Why Don t You Ask Me? Beth Am rarely conducts surveys of our members preferences for programming, or really anything for that matter. Why not? My online column decisions answers this question, and discusses how we at Beth Am actually do make directional decisions. L Shalom, Ben Lloyd President@Betham.org PAGE 7

8 50% Recycled Chlorine Free Printing CONGREGATION BETH Arastradero Road Los Altos Hills, CA NONPROFIT U.S. POSTAGE PAID PERMIT #121 CONGREGATION BETH LOS ALTOS HILLS, CA SHABBAT SALON: Rabbi Henry Shreibman Speaking on Ethics and Social Justice Best of the Prophets SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 3:30 P.M. CONFERENCE ROOM To understand the ethics of the ancient world is to improve our social justice radar and modern ethical actions. We will analyze classical ethical wisdom of the prophets and apply these best oneliners to contemporary issues such as war, journalism, healthcare, sports, business, personal conduct, the environment and politics. We will also examine the biblical prophets, wisdom literature and ethical tales. Amos, Isaiah, Hosea and other prophets first annunciate some of the key principles and the very foundation for Western ethics. The lecture is free and co-sponsored by Lehrhaus Judaica, but RSVP online at bit.ly/ethicsshabbatsalon or call Lehrhaus Judaica at (510) Rabbi Henry Shreibman, Ph.D., D.D., has taught over the last nine years at Dominican University, as well as Sonoma State and UC Davis in comparative religion, history, ethics and philosophy. He is the West Coast Director of Outreach for the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College in Philadelphia. Shreibman was recently appointed Director of the Torch Program and Retention Services at Dominican University, San Rafael. In 2000, he won Federation Agency Executive of the Year for his years as Head of School at Brandeis Hillel. He was 2008 Teacher of the Year at Dominican University. His area of interest and specialty is comparative religion of the ancient world. BRIEFING WITH DAVID MEYERSON: 2014 Post-Election Political Analysis Beth Am Welcomes AIPAC s Pacific Northwest Political Director FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 6:15 P.M., SANCTUARY; DINNER AND DISCUSSION, 7:30 P.M. CONFERENCE ROOM During our Shabbat service, David Meyerson will provide a behindthe-scenes look at the current situation in the Middle East, with special attention to current trends in American politics and the U.S.-Israel relationship. He will analyze the results of the November elections, and discuss their implications for the pro-israel community in America. Mr. Meyerson will speak at the service; afterwards, we ll come together for dinner and an opportunity to ask questions of our guest. To sign up for the dinner ($15) and discussion, please download, complete and return the registration form at nov21aipacdinner with your payment by Thursday, November 13 to the Beth Am office. Alternatively, you can pick up a form in the Beth Am office.