The Four Loves. I. Consider Consequences (22:24-25; 17:14, 19; 26:1; 25:19; 13:20; 14:22)

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1 Explore the Bible Lesson Preview April 13, 2014 Forge Godly Friendships Background & Lesson: Proverbs 22:24-25; 17:14, 19; 26:21; 25:19; 13:20; 14:17, 22, 29; 15:18; 16:32; 19:11; 3:3-4; 16:6; 20:6; 10:12; 11:17; 15:17; 17:17; 18:24; 27:9 Motivation: Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art it has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival. C S Lewis, The Four Loves. I. Consider Consequences (22:24-25; 17:14, 19; 26:1; 25:19; 13:20; 14:22) A. Association with the Angry Don t make friends with an angry man, and don t be a companion of a hot-tempered man, or you will learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare. (22:24-25) James instructs us that Man s anger does not accomplish God s righteousness. (1:20) Gary Smalley calls unrestrained anger a major destroyer of relationships. B. Associating with the Argumentative To start a conflict is to release a flood; stop the dispute before it breaks out. (17:14) One who loves to offend loves strife one who builds a high threshold invites injury. (17:19) Too many young women have invited catastrophe by being attracted to the bad boys, angry, argumentative and selfish individuals who leave a trail of conflict and strife from broken relationships. C. Associating with Fools Like snow in summer and rain at harvest, honor is inappropriate for a fool. (26:1) A fool is one who won t change and learn from mistakes and wise counsel. Association (honor) is not only inappropriate, it can be disastrous. 1 / 6

2 D. Associating with the Unreliable Trusting an unreliable person in a difficult time is like a rotten tooth or a faltering foot. (25:19) Security is one of the two significant needs that we all seek. Ultimately it comes from trusting God. However, placing your trust in someone who continually lets you down is like trying to walk on ice with slippery soled shoes (faltering foot). E. Associating with the Wise The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm. (13:20) One becomes like the people with whom he associates. Although we are to be salt and light to all those around us, we should reserve close friendship for people who will help us to become better. F. Associating with the Faithful Don t those who plan evil go astray? But those who plan good find loyalty and faithfulness. (14:22) We studied in Proverbs 1:10-19 about the foolish youth who was enticed by a gang of evil doers to rob and commit murder. Here we are encouraged to hang out with those who plan good. II. Cultivate Patience (14:17, 29; 15:18; 16:32; 19:11) A. Problems of the Impatient 1. Acts Foolish A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a man who schemes is hated. (14:17) 2. Promotes Foolishness A patient person shows great understanding, but a quick-tempered one promotes foolishness. (14:29) 3. Stirs up Conflict A hot-tempered man stirs up conflict, but a man slow to anger calms strife. (15:18) 2 / 6

3 B. Benefits of Patience 1. Anger Management Patience is better than power, and controlling one s temper, than capturing a city. (16:32) Controlling one s temper is a sign of trusting God. The implication is that allowing God to control you is better than you controlling an army. 2. Bearing With One Another A person s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense. (19:11) HCSB, p. 1061: 19:11 Virtue is literally a beautiful adornment, translated gl ory in 20:29. When through insight a person gains patience, he gains the admirable capacity to overlook it when someone sins against him (10:12; 17:9; Mt 6:14-15). III. Communicate Loyalty and Love (3:3-4; 16:6; 20:6; 10:12; 11:17; 15:17; 17:17; 18:24; 27:9) A. Faithfulness Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you. Tie them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will find favor and high regard in the sight of God and man. (3:3-4) HCSB, p. 1034: 3:3 Loyalty (Hb. chesed) and faithfulness summarize godliness in contrast to the selfish malice and infidelity of the wicked (14:22; 16:6; 20:28; cp. Mt 22:37-40). The son should make them his permanent characteristics, externally and internally. B. Atoning Attributes Wickedness is atoned for by loyalty and faithfulness, and one turns from evil by the fear of the Lord. (16:6) HCSB, p. 1055: 16:6 The fear of the Lord represents faith, and loyalty and faithfulness represent good works that demonstrate faith (Jms 2:14-26). Such works of faith atone (see Lv 23:27; Is 6:7) for 3 / 6

4 wickedness in the past and turn a person away from following an evil path in the future. Hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses. (10:12) C. Actions Speak Louder than Words Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy man? (20:6) HCSB, p. 1063: 20:6 On loyalty, see faithful love in 19:22. It is easy for someone to proclaim it, but truly trustworthy (cp. 13:17) people, who will act in time of need, are rare. Who can find is a rhetorical question that assumes the answer, no one. A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings disaster on himself. (11:17) D. Benefits of Love and Friendship 1. Satisfaction Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened ox with hatred. (15:17) Love brings more satisfaction than a bountiful buffet. 2. Comfort A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time. (17:17) A friend is one who loves you, not just the circumstances or things around you. Thus he/she would love as a friend in good times as well as difficult. In the New Testament sense, brother describes all members of the family of God. 3. Security A man with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother. (18:24) HCSB, p. 1061: 18:24 The first friends are neighbors or companions, who may be attracted by money (19:4). The second kind of friend is literally one who loves. Jesus is such a friend to His followers (Jn 15:13-14). 4 / 6

5 4. Wise Counsel Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel. (27:9) Ecclesiastes 4:9 ff. says that two are better than one due to mutual support woe to him that is alone. Sometimes self-counsel is delusional or subjective; but, a wise friend can help us stay centered on God. Earlier in the chapter we read that the wounds of a friend are trustworthy. (6) Application: 1. Associations have consequences, both good and bad. 2. Long term friendships require patience; no one is perfect. 3. Loyalty and love are the foundations of Godly. Leader Pack Item 12: Handout: Worst Case Scenarios; Item 13: Poster: Patience vs. Temper No Illustrator Article **You may access David s Lesson Preview in MP3 format at: Dates: 4/4 FBA Warrior Day; 4/6 Deacon s Meeting/Church Conference; 4/6 5 / 6

6 Leadership Lunch; 4/10 Summit Celebrates; 4/12 SPF Hippity Hoppin Easter - SPF; 4/12 - Deacon s Wives Brunch; 4/13 Palm Sunday; 4/13 AMP/Wired Sunday; 4/16 No Midlink; 4/17 Broken for you service childcare avail. 4 and under; 4/18 Good Friday, Church offices closed; 4/20 Easter Sunday/No LBS; 4/25 ReCreate Date Night; 4/25-26 Deacon s Retreat; 4/27 Peter Williams speaking@ all campuses; 5/2-4 Summit Spring Retreat; 5/3 - CBS Graduation; 5/4 Houston 1:8 Kickoff/High 5 Concert/HS Senior Celebration; 5/4 Deacon s Meeting/Church Sienna; 5/11 Mother s Day Event SPF; 5/18 Parent Commitment; 5/26 Memorial Day Church offices closed; 5/27 - Daycation begins; 5/30 ReCreate Date Night/Next Gen Summer Kickoff Night. 6 / 6