LESSON 11 COLE WOMEN S MINISTRY SPRING 2018 LESSON 11. The Tongue, Part 1 NIV, Arguing and Strife

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1 COLE WOMEN S MINISTRY PROVERBS SPRING 2018 LESSON 11 LESSON 11 The Tongue, Part 1 Arguing and Strife Proverbs 6:12, 14 Proverbs 6:16, 19 Proverbs 10:12 Proverbs 15:18 Proverbs 16:28 Proverbs 18:6 Proverbs 20:3 Proverbs 22:10 Proverbs 25:24 Proverbs 26:21 Proverbs 28:25 Proverbs 29:22 NIV, 1984 A scoundrel and villain, who goes about with a corrupt mouth, who plots evil with deceit in his heart - he always stirs up dissension. There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers. Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel. A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. A fool s lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating. It is to a man s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended. Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. A greedy man stirs up dissension, but he who trusts in the LORD will prosper. An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. Boasting Proverbs 25:14 Proverbs 25:24 Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of gifts he does not give. It is not good to eat too much honey, nor is it honorable to seek one s own honor. 11 1

2 PROVERBS COLE WOMEN S MINISTRY LESSON 11 SPRING 2018 Proverbs 27:1 Proverbs 27:2 Proverbs 30:32 Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth. Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips. If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, clap your hand over your mouth! Gossip Proverbs 10:12 Proverbs 11:12 Proverbs 11:13 Proverbs 16:28 Proverbs 17:9 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers all wrongs. A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. Proverbs 18:8; 26:22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man s inmost parts. Proverbs 19:11 Proverbs 20:19 Proverbs 25:9, 10 Proverbs 26:20 A man s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. If you argue your case with a neighbor, do not betray another man s confidence, or he who hears it may shame you and you will never lose your bad reputation. Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. Lying Proverbs 12:19 Proverbs 12:22 Proverbs 14:25 Proverbs 19:5 Proverbs 20: Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. The LORD detests lying lips, but He delights in men who are truthful. A truthful witness saves lives, but a false witness is deceitful. A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will not go free. Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man, but he ends up with a

3 COLE WOMEN S MINISTRY PROVERBS SPRING 2018 LESSON 11 Proverbs 21:6 Proverbs 24:26 Proverbs 24:28-29 Proverbs 26:28 Proverbs 30:8 mouth full of gravel. A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare. An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. Do not testify against your neighbor without cause, or use your lips to deceive. Do not say, I ll do to him as he has done to me; I ll pay that man back for what he did. A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin. Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Complaining Proverbs 15:15 Proverbs 17:22 Proverbs 21:19 Proverbs 27:15 All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast. A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day. As you begin this study on the tongue remember that, having received Jesus Christ as your Savior, you are a saint in process. He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6) Take time to pray before you begin your lesson. Ask God to speak His word of truth to your heart. Slowly read the following versions of Proverbs 18:21 letting the full impact of the words penetrate your mind. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. (NASB) Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. (ESV) The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (NIV) Words kill, words give life; they re either poison or fruit - you choose. (The Message, a paraphrase by Eugene Peterson) This proverb says the tongue is so powerful that it has the power of life and death. Perhaps that is why the Book of Proverbs has so much to say about the way we use our tongues. 11 3

4 PROVERBS COLE WOMEN S MINISTRY LESSON 11 SPRING Using a dictionary define the word tongue. 2. Read James 3:5-10. In verse 8 how is the tongue described? Remember: there is One who can tame the tongue. (Matthew 19:26 and Luke 1:37) Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Proverbs 17:27 3. According to Proverbs 1:7 and 9:10 how does one become a person of wisdom and knowledge? In this lesson we re going to look at some problem areas of the tongue and also at some solutions to those problems. Carefully read the verses listed at the beginning of this lesson in the section titled Arguing and Strife. 4. First, let s make some observations. a. List all the different names mentioned for those who are argumentative and stir up strife. b. What is the source of quarrels? (See James 4:1-3 and Proverbs 10:12.) 5. Now consider how best to handle disagreements. a. What works for you when handling an angry associate or family member? 11 4

5 COLE WOMEN S MINISTRY PROVERBS SPRING 2018 LESSON 11 b. What practical suggestions are we given in Proverbs 15:1, 17:14, and 22:23-25? c. From Proverbs what would you like to remember the next time you are tempted to pick a fight? 6. Write a proverb of your own about strife and arguing. 7. Slowly read over the verses at the beginning of the lesson in the section titled Boasting. a. To what is boasting compared? Why do you think this is a good word picture? b. From where is our praise to come? 8. Read the section titled Gossip at the beginning of the lesson three times. a. Define the word gossip. b. Why is gossip harmful? 9. If you have ever been the victim of gossip, what did it do to you? How did it make you feel? 11 5

6 PROVERBS COLE WOMEN S MINISTRY LESSON 11 SPRING If you find yourself in the presence of gossip, what steps do you think you could take to curtail that conversation? 11. Is there one proverb you would like to remember the next time the opportunity to gossip rears its ugly head? Write it down in the following space. Amy Carmichael was a missionary in India for many years. In her small book, If, she writes, If I can easily discuss the shortcomings and the sins of any; if I can speak in a casual way even of a child s misdoings, then I know nothing of Calvary love. Read the section at the beginning of this lesson titled Lying. Read it three times. 12. Contrast the results of lying with those of telling the truth. Lying Being Truthful 13. If you discover that someone has lied to you, how does that affect your relationship with that person? The deadline for all complaints was yesterday. Prayerfully read the proverbs in the Complaining section at the beginning of the lesson. 14. In your own words state what Proverbs 15:15 means. 11 6

7 COLE WOMEN S MINISTRY PROVERBS SPRING 2018 LESSON Read Philippians 2:14. a. What does this verse from the New Testament tell us about complaining? b. Why are we given this command? Each morning this week, as you look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, don t forget to look at your tongue. Hold your mouth open long enough to realize that slab of skin, membranes and muscles has the power to injure...to stab...to kill. Pray for control. Chuck Swindoll 16. In this lesson we have seen things to do, and we ve seen things not to do. What is the one thing from each of the topics studied that you would like to remember and with God s help make a part of your life? Write it out using one sentence for each section. Arguing and Strife: Boasting: Gossip: Lying: Complaining: Remember we are all sinners saved by God s grace. He is in the business of growing us up in Him. We are all being changed and transformed. (II Corinthians 3:18) Let s commit ourselves to let Him do His work in us. Lynn Marcus (1997) 11 7

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