HOW MEN THINK LONELY, AND WANT A DATE? TRY THESE SUREFIRE WAYS TO WOW THE WOMAN OF

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1 Vol. 17 Issue 06 All Rights Reserved 2019 HOW MEN THINK LONELY, AND WANT A DATE? TRY THESE SUREFIRE WAYS TO WOW THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS ON-LINE OR IN PERSON! Pardon me, are you from the Caribbean? Because Jamaican me crazy. I know it's not my business, but if you were a laser, you'd be set on stunning. Say, is it hot in here or is it just you? Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number---can I have yours? I don't mean to pry, but are you from Nashville? Because you're the only Ten-I -See. Even though we've never met, I'm sure your last name must be Campbell; because you're Mmmmmmmmm good. Sorry to bother you, but do you work for NASA because you're out of this world. PUBLISHED AND DISTRIBUTED WEEKLY BY PASSTIMES OF ARIZONA, LLC - PASSTIMESAZ@LIVE.COM

A GOLDFISH HAS A MEMORY SPAN OF THREE SECONDS...WHO KNOWS THESE THINGS?

13, 1861, the earliest military action to be revered with a Medal of Honor award is performed by

The Irish-born doctor volunteered to go to the rescue of 2nd Lt.

14, 1886, the first trainload of oranges grown by southern California farmers leaves Los Angeles

Development of California surged when state railroad lines linked Los Angeles into the

2 A GOLDFISH HAS A MEMORY SPAN OF THREE SECONDS...WHO KNOWS THESE THINGS? I MEAN HOW CAN YOU KNOW SUCH A THING? OLD THINGS PASS AWAY. ALL THINGS BECOME NEW * On Feb. 13, 1861, the earliest military action to be revered with a Medal of Honor award is performed by Col. Bernard J.D. Irwin, an Army surgeon serving in the first major U.S.-Apache conflict. The Irish-born doctor volunteered to go to the rescue of 2nd Lt. George Bascom, who was trapped in Arizona with 60 soldiers by the Apaches. * On Feb. 14, 1886, the first trainload of oranges grown by southern California farmers leaves Los Angeles via the transcontinental railroad. Development of California surged when state railroad lines linked Los Angeles into the transcontinental railways. * On Feb. 15, 1903, the first Teddy bear goes on sale. Toy-store owner and inventor Morris Michtom placed two stuffed bears in his shop window, advertising them as Teddy bears, named after President Theodore Roosevelt.

Answers 1. "Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid" 2. Hedwig 3. Donald Glover 4.

Alan Shepard, 1961, 15 minutes 7. The black marlin 8. Ho Chi Minh City 9. Florence, Italy 10.

THEY SAY THAT EVERY LAKE IN OHIO IS MAN MADE IF YOU FIND YOURSELF VACUUMING THE BED, IT IS TIME TO

MOVIES: Which 1969 movie featured the song "Raindrops Keep Fallin'' on My Head"? 2.

MUSIC: Which American actor performs music as his alter ego Childish Gambino? 4.

1902? 5. GAMES: In what game is a shuttlecock used? 6.

4 Answers 1. "Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid" 2. Hedwig 3. Donald Glover 4. Animal-shaped crackers then known as "Barnum's Animals" 5. Badminton 6. Alan Shepard, 1961, 15 minutes 7. The black marlin 8. Ho Chi Minh City 9. Florence, Italy 10. Drachma (c) 2019 King Features Synd., Inc. THEY SAY THAT EVERY LAKE IN OHIO IS MAN MADE IF YOU FIND YOURSELF VACUUMING THE BED, IT IS TIME TO CHANGE THE SHEETS I HAVE NEVER SEEN A MONUMENT ERECTED TO A PESSIMIST 1. MOVIES: Which 1969 movie featured the song "Raindrops Keep Fallin'' on My Head"? 2. LITERATURE: What is the name of Harry's owl in the "Harry Potter" book series? 3. MUSIC: Which American actor performs music as his alter ego Childish Gambino? 4. FOOD & DRINK: Which kids' snack, contained in a box with a string handle, was first marketed in 1902? 5. GAMES: In what game is a shuttlecock used? 6. SPACE: Who piloted America's first and shortest flight into space? 7. ANIMAL KINGDOM: Which fish is the fastest in the world? 8. GEOGRAPHY: What is Saigon's current name in Vietnam? 9. ART: Which city is home to the statue "David" created by Michelangelo? 10. MONEY: What was the basic currency of Greece before the euro?

HE DISCOVERS THAT HE IS HIMSELF A LOST AND RUINED SINNER JOHN 4:26 We are all naturally

excessive importance to our own particular manner of worshiping God.

our souls. The heart is the principal thing in all our approaches to God.

) The most gorgeous cathedral-service is offensive in God's sight, if all is gone through

The feeblest gathering of three or four poor believers in a lowly cottage to read the

congregation which is ever gathered in St. Peter's at Rome.

Whatever a man's past life may have been, there is hope and a remedy for him in Christ.

5 FLYING ISN'T DANGEROUS. CRASHING IS WHAT'S DANGEROUS NEVER DOES A MAN SEE ANY BEAUTY IN CHRIST AS A SAVIOR, UNTIL HE DISCOVERS THAT HE IS HIMSELF A LOST AND RUINED SINNER JOHN 4:26 We are all naturally inclined to make religion a mere matter of outward forms and ceremonies, and to attach an excessive importance to our own particular manner of worshiping God. We must beware of this spirit, and especially when we first begin to think seriously about our souls. The heart is the principal thing in all our approaches to God. "The Lord looks on the heart." (1 Sam. 16:7.) The most gorgeous cathedral-service is offensive in God's sight, if all is gone through coldly, heartlessly, and without grace. The feeblest gathering of three or four poor believers in a lowly cottage to read the Bible and pray, is a more acceptable sight to Him who searches the heart than the fullest congregation which is ever gathered in St. Peter's at Rome. Dealings with sinners form one of the grand peculiarities of the Gospel. Whatever a man's past life may have been, there is hope and a remedy for him in Christ. If he is only willing to hear Christ's voice and follow Him, Christ is willing to receive him at once as a friend, and to bestow on him the fullest measure of mercy and grace. Excerpt from J.C. Ryle s Expository on the Gospel of John GRACE ONCE INTRODUCED INTO THE HEART DRIVES OUT OLD TASTES IGNORANCE OF SIN IS INVARIABLY ATTENDED BY NEGLECT OF CHRIST

6 I CAN T DO THAT! MY POWERS CAN ONLY BE USED FOR GOOD SOMEONE FIGURED OUT THAT PAIN TRAVELS FROM THE NERVE TO YOUR BRAIN AT UP TO 180 MPH EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM

7 LOVE DEMANDS INFINITELY LESS THAN FRIENDSHIP IN ALASKA, KANGAROOS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN BARBER SHOPS AT ANY TIME ON LAND, FIRES BURN QUICKER UPHILL THAN DOWNHILL

8 IT'S OKAY TO HAVE NOTHING TO SAY UNLESS YOU'RE THE ONE DOING ALL THE TALKING

9 I WONDER WHY LIFE'S PROBLEMS CAN T HIT US AT 17 WHEN WE KNOW EVERYTHING IF CHRISTIANS BELIEVED MORE, THEY WOULD EXPECT MORE

11 I WAS GOING TO BUY A COPY OF THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING, AND THEN I THOUGHT: WHAT GOOD WOULD THAT DO? RARELY DOES A SOUL VALUE THE MEDICINE OF THE GOSPEL UNTIL IT TRULY FEELS THE DISEASE OF SIN TALK IS CHEAP BECAUSE THE SUPPLY ALWAYS EXCEEDS THE DEMAND

SOMEWHERE ON THIS PLANET, EVERY TEN SECONDS, THERE IS A WOMAN GIVING BIRTH.

* It was 20th-century American author Margaret Mitchell -- best known, of course, for her Civil War-era novel "Gone With the Wind" -- who

" * It seems that the Germans have a word for everything. For instance, "waldeinsamkeit" describes the feeling of being alone in the woods.

Africa. * In rural Wisconsin in 1921, two third-grade students in a oneroom schoolhouse became sweethearts.

This story would be unremarkable, except for what happened 87 years later.

Shortly thereafter, the couple married and moved in with each other in a retirement home.

* The oldest government building in the country actually predates the nation: The Palace of the Governors in Santa Fe, New Mexico, was built

12 SOMEWHERE ON THIS PLANET, EVERY TEN SECONDS, THERE IS A WOMAN GIVING BIRTH. SHE MUST BE FOUND AND STOPPED STOP REPEAT OFFENDERS DON'T RE-ELECT THEM! * It was 20th-century American author Margaret Mitchell -- best known, of course, for her Civil War-era novel "Gone With the Wind" -- who made the following sage observation: "Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is." * It seems that the Germans have a word for everything. For instance, "waldeinsamkeit" describes the feeling of being alone in the woods. * You might be surprised to learn that Edgar Rice Burroughs, author of "Tarzan of the Apes" and its 25 sequels, never actually visited Africa. * In rural Wisconsin in 1921, two third-grade students in a oneroom schoolhouse became sweethearts. At the end of the school year, Lorraine Beatty and Mac McKitrick lost touch with each other. This story would be unremarkable, except for what happened 87 years later. In 2009, their brothers, who had become friends, brought the couple back together. Shortly thereafter, the couple married and moved in with each other in a retirement home. * The Sphinx in Egypt is the only one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World still in existence. * The oldest government building in the country actually predates the nation: The Palace of the Governors in Santa Fe, New Mexico, was built in * According to tradition, a bride whose dress is made of silk will have good fortune in her marriage. A woman who wears velvet to her wedding will face poverty, and a satin wedding gown will bring bad luck. * Reportedly, anyone caught in the jaws of a crocodile can release him- or herself instantly by pressing on the animal's eyeballs (though I cannot personally attest to the veracity of this claim). Thought for the Day: "A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually." -- Abba Eban (c) 2019 King Features Synd., Inc.

THE PIG WITH THE WOODEN LEG

All Rights Reserved 2016 THE PIG WITH THE WOODEN LEG A city man went hiking in the woods. He soon realized that he was lost. Trying to find his way back, he wandered into a clearing only to see a pig with