FirstWords. Our Monthly Publication

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1 FirstWords Our Monthly Publication November 2018; Vol. 12, No. 9 Looking Glass Theatre (LGT) is proud to keep you laughing with The Murder Mystery at the Murder Mystery, Friday, November 9 through Sunday, November 11; and Friday, November 16 through Saturday, November 17. In a show where at least one murder wasn t planned, a play -within-a-play plot challenges both the mind and the metaphysical. The Murder Mystery at the Murder Mystery is a comedic tale about the players at The Murder Mystery Playhouse as they rehearse a new show, Putting a Little English On It. It s a not-so-good attempt at a British murder mystery, complete with cheesy dramatic music and British accents. When the cast gets to the final dress rehearsal, the lights go out as expected and a character dies onstage only this murder wasn t in the script! Under the direction of Yaro Severn, this whodun-it is performed by a talented cast of 14 including some familiar faces as well as talent new to Looking Glass Theatre. Severn, an active member of the creative arts community and theater aficionado, makes her directorial debut with the assistance of veteran Looking Glass Theatre stage and production managers (and performers) Gay Hybertsen and Rose Riedel. Tickets are available Sundays on the patio between services, directly from cast members, or at the door. Concessions will be available for purchase. Shows begins nightly at 7 pm except for a special matinee on Sunday, November 11 at 4 pm Military/Youth/Student $10. Advance Purchase $13. General Admission $15. Looking Glass Theatre always welcomes new theater lovers. Whether you'd like to check out a great night of comedy from the seats, or be more involved on stage or off, we appreciate your support. Get more involved with LGT by attending membership meetings, held every third Thursday of the month at 6:30 pm in Bard Hall, or by visiting LookingGlassSD.org. Also in this issue: Just Gratitude by Rev. Tania Ma rquez Pg 2 November Sermon Messages Pg 2 The Ritual Behind the Ritual by Tony Bianca Pg 3 Shop With Scrip for the Holidays Pg 4 Say Thank You by Tony Bianca Pg 5 Holiday Calendar Pg 6 Meet Our Volunteer: Kathleen MacLeod by Elaine Twamley Pg 7

2 F i r s t W o r d s 2 N o v e m b e r ; V o l. 1 2, N o. 9 JUST GRATITUDE NovemberSermonMessages For most of us, it s difficult to realize when we re taking things for granted. Perhaps one of the unintended blessings of loss is the awareness it brings about the ordinary things we should be grateful for. In October, the South Bay campus celebrated its 10th anniversary. The celebration came amidst the chaos created by the flooding of our spaces in September. It was then that many of us realized the little, ordinary things we forget to be grateful for: the regularity of a space designated for worship, the privilege of a kitchen to make coffee and prepare social hour, the availability of space for meetings, groups, and conversations. As we were forced out of our comfort zone by the flooding, I oscillated between gratitude and frustration: appreciating all I had taken for granted and wanting our space to be back to normal. This month s theme, Just Gratitude, is always appropriate, not only in a month where we have a dedicated day to give thanks, but always. Just gratitude, as in simply gratitude, can help bring awareness to all the little things we often stop noticing. But gratitude that is just, seeks not only an awareness of the things we take for granted, it also attempts to recognize and lift up the value and impact of their presence in our lives. Our times have been challenging for a while and maybe many of you have also found yourselves oscillating between contrasting emotions; nostalgia for the things you thought were givens and rage at the constant flow of news that threatens the well-being of ourselves or those we love. People often think being grateful means we accept things as they are. We can be grateful for what we have and still continue to work for change. I think gratitude can propel our actions, for it prevents us from falling into despair. I m convinced gratitude has the power to transform our frustration and heartbreak into hope. Let us move forward, then, with a grateful heart. May we all become aware of the ordinary and extraordinary things that enrich our lives every day. May we not take things for granted but take small steps to express our gratitude. Celebration Times: Hillcrest Campus: Sunday, 9:30 am and 11:30 am (ASL Interpretation) South Bay Campus: Sunday, 9:30 am (Intergenerational, Bilingual) November s Transformational Theme is Just Gratitude November 4, 2018 Hillcrest Services Gracias a la vida Rev. Tania Ma rquez, Assistant Minister South Bay Service Covenant and Relationship Rev. Ian W. Riddell, Minister of Music & Worship Arts, and Good Relations Committee November 11, 2018 Hillcrest Services A Positive Peace: Legacies of MLK Stevie Carmody, Intern Minister South Bay Service Gratitude Attitude Lorelei Garner, South Bay Music Coordinator November 18, 2018 Hillcrest Services In Remembrance and Resistance Rev. Ian W. Riddell, Minister of Music & Worship Arts South Bay Service An Embodied Prayer Rev. Tania Ma rquez, Assistant Minister November 25, 2018 Hillcrest Services Saying Thanks Rev. Kathleen Owens, Lead Minister South Bay Service Joy Rev. Tania Ma rquez, Assistant Minister

3 November 2018; Vol. 12, No. 9 FirstWords 3 At a service led by Rev. Tania last spring, she conducted a ritual involving salt and water. The congregation was invited to come forward and place a pinch of salt into one of seven small bowls of water spread throughout the Meeting House, which were then brought forward by lay ministers and poured into a much larger bowl of water. The water in the smaller bowls would have been rendered undrinkable by the salt but, in a larger body of water, that same amount of salt is negligible. The point: When faced with things that challenge us, it s not the things themselves that are the problem; the problem is our own smallness. What s required of us in those moments, metaphorically speaking, is to become larger containers vessels capable of holding what life throws at us. Personally, I found the ritual and the metaphor itself to be very powerful. What I ve really been reflecting on, however, is the more personal experience I had of setting up and dismantling the ritual. Prior to services, Rev. Tania asked for help setting up the water/salt stations. The request required some necessary but not terribly difficult work and, as I set about doing it, I reflected on what I think of as logistical spirituality. The time management skills involved in getting the job done amid the other work I needed to do, the creative thinking required to find seven things that could serve as tables to hold the bowls, the physical labor of fetching water and setting up the stations, the aesthetic sense of how to make a card table and punch bowl look like ritual instruments - all of these rather mundane tasks hold meaning for me precisely because I experience them as a spiritual practice. I choose to view the work as my way of being a minister of facilitation and that makes it different, meaningful, holy. During services, I was busy doing other work and was unable to participate in the ritual with the congregation, but, in a very real sense, I already had. The act of setting up transformed those bowls and tables into symbols. A card table became an altar of sorts and a punch bowl became a liturgical vessel. The objects themselves became bigger containers. After second service, it was my responsibility to reset the Meeting House in preparation for the congregational meeting that was happening half an-hour later. What to do with the remains of ritual? The water which had, moments before, been the heart of the ritual was poured back into a bucket and poured out. The tables, stools, and bowls were gathered up and stored away for other, less symbolic uses. At times, the work of cleaning up felt almost irreverent. It occurred to me, however, that there was spiritual meaning to be found there as well. The act of dismantling that which had become sacred and returning it to its previously mundane state was, for me, a lesson in the nature of spirituality. In my experience, we don t get constant access to the sacred. Rather, we have fleeting glances or, as a mentor of mine puts it, we re allowed only brief moments of unspeakable joy. So, for me, the work of cleaning up is more an act of culmination than an act of disassembly a recognition of the fleeting nature of the sacred.

4 FirstWords 4 November 2018; Vol. 12, No. 9 As our Generosity Ministry Team (GMT) hopes you know, buying gift cards on our patio (via check or cash) brings money to the church. AND, you spend only as much as you would anyway for birthday gifts, holiday gifts, food shopping for yourself or a dish for a First UU potluck, movies, restaurants, major appliances and more! We have cards for grocery stores, gas stations, movie theatres, restaurants, and all kinds of retail stores and online vendors like Target, Macy s, Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, Amazon, itunes, See s Candy, and many more. Thinking of making a large purchase, such as computers, appliances, and TVs? There are cards and online options in larger denominations for Home Depot, Lowes, Best Buy, and more. Going on a trip? You can order scrip (an electronic gift card) for cruise lines, airlines, car rentals and many hotel chains even AirBnB. we ll have lots to choose from, and they make great stocking stuffers! It makes sense to stock up on gift cards for your everyday shopping. And, with the holidays coming, it s an opportunity to get some (or all) of your shopping out of the way and purchase gift cards you d normally buy at stores. Since gift cards can be used at brick-and -mortar stores and online, you can also purchase cards to use on Black Friday and Cyber Monday. The bottom line: You shop with us for cards or scrip to use where you already shop, and First UU reaps the benefit!! How great is that? Thank you for your previous and future participation in First Church s Scrip/Gift Card Program. Last fiscal year, our members gift card shopping raised almost $700. Think how much more we could raise if YOU did your shopping with us! (Our goal is $1,500 for ) When you purchase cards as gifts or for everyday shopping, you re contributing to the mission and vision of our First UU community without an additional cost to you. Questions? Contact Sue Marberry (smarberry@cox.net or ). Each Sunday, starting November 4, and ending December 23, gift cards will be available on the patio. You ll be able to buy the cards we have on hand or complete an order form and pick up your cards the following week. During November and December, we re adding a special bonus incentive: Each week all those who buy or order more than $100 will be entered in a drawing for a $10 gift card

5 November 2018; Vol. 12, No. 9 FirstWords 5 If I didn t think it would make me sound like every middle school essay I ve ever graded, I d start off with Webster s Dictionary defines gratitude as... Instead, I ll start by telling you that when I want to think deeply about a concept, I often find it helpful to explore the etymology of the word and reflect on how that same concept is expressed in other languages. When thinking about gratitude, for example, I don t think English quite does that concept justice. In English, gratitude can easily get reduced to the level of feelings. This plays out in the primary way we express gratitude in English: Thank you. Essentially, we re saying, I feel good because of what you ve done or given me. While that might sometimes be my experience of gratitude, I don t think it captures the depth of what gratitude can be and, furthermore, it s not expansive enough to cover the times in my life when I ve really been grateful for things that didn t feel so good at the time. In other languages, however, the concept of gratitude expands and deepens. The Latin root word, gratia has to do with grace and kindness. In Spanish, thank you ( gracias ) is much more connected to its linguistic origins and that same Latin root shows up in gratis ( free ). These Spanish words speak to me about gratitude in a much more profound way. They suggest that gratitude and thankfulness are an inherent recognition that certain things in my life are grace-filled, in other words, that they have come to me freely, without my having done anything to earn them. So, when I sit to contemplate the things for which I m grateful, I don t just make a list of the things in my life that make me happy. I also consider how those things have often come to me in a way that was gifted, unearned, unexpected, and, often, undeserved. This way of understanding gratitude has some pretty powerful implications for my life. Most importantly, it makes me more accepting of the way in which the universe is unfolding in my life at any particular moment. Since I m aware that I am now very grateful for things that didn t seem so good at the time, I m more open to the possibility that my current challenges might become items on some future gratitude list. It helps me focus on the potential for good in any situation. With this in mind, you might consider broadening how your family gives thanks in this season of thanksgiving. Be sure to name not just the good things in your life, but also the transformative struggles and challenges that have strengthened and shaped you into the person you are today. Sharing this growth mindset approach with your children might be especially powerful as a tool for helping them shift the way they approach challenges in their own life. And for that, they might one day thank you.

6 FirstWords 6 November 2018; Vol. 12, No. 9 Celebrate the Season! Holiday Events at First Unitarian Universalist Church of San Diego November Wed 21 5:30 pm Thanksgiving Eve Bread Communion Service and Potluck HC Sun 25 9:30 am Children s Chapel HC December Tues 4 6:30 pm Blue Holiday Vespers HC Fri 7 6 pm Tree Decorating and Carol Sing-Along HC Fri 7 TBD Tamalada [see Window for details] off-site Sun 9 9:30 & 11:30 am December Music Service HC Sun 9 9:30 am Our Lady of Guadalupe SB Sun 9 4 pm Voices in Unity/Emerging Voices Concert HC TBD TBD Advent Vespers HC Sun 15 6:30 pm Yule Celebration HC Mon 24 5:30 pm Family Christmas Eve Service HC Mon 24 8 pm Candlelight Christmas Eve Service HC Tues 25 Noon Christmas Day Potluck HC And don't forget to join us for our upcoming Fridays at First Recitals at 12:30 pm in the Meeting House November 9 Mari Kawamura, piano December 14 First UU String Quartet Play Holiday Favorites For more information see our website at firstuusandiego.org First Unitarian Universalist Church of San Diego Hillcrest Campus 4190 Front Street San Diego, CA South Bay Campus 970 Broadway Chula Vista, CA

7 November 2018; Vol. 12, No. 9 FirstWords 7 San Diego native Kathleen MacLeod grew up in several locations in and around the county and memorably, lived in one landmark house for a year the home of Kate Sessions! Her uncle had purchased the property. Her school years were spent mostly in South Bay until she enrolled at SDSU, earning a bachelor s degree in education. A fascination with other cultures came alive in her college days; and she spent part of her junior year at Mexico City College. After college Kathleen spent a year teaching in New Orleans, hoping to learn about African American culture. To her dismay, she was only allowed to teach in a white school. What to do next? This was the Kennedy era, says Kathleen, Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. So, I joined the Peace Corps and taught English as a second language in Iran. I didn t even know where Iran was! I had to look it up on a map. Kathleen loved her two years in the Peace Corps, returned home and eventually enrolled in graduate school, earning a master s degree in public administration. She worked for various federal anti-poverty programs and ended her career as head of the family planning unit for San Diego County. Now retired, Kathleen lives in Encanto, a community she chose for its racial diversity. She Thankful for our Volunteers volunteers with various community groups working on zoning and economic improvement issues in Encanto. She s a board member of the Peace Corps Iran Association. Here at First UU, Kathleen is a member of the Board of Trustees and chairs the Welcome Table Committee. It s Kathleen you often see at the Welcome Table on Sunday mornings, visiting with current and prospective members alike. Kathleen didn t know it at the time, but her journey toward Unitarian Universalism began in her Peace Corps days. She lived in a small town with a Muslim-Zoroastrian interfaith couple whose friends were Bahais, Armenians, Jews, Assyrians, atheists, and others. In this multicultural environment, she began to question the superiority of any one religion. Kathleen came home thinking that any church that preached eternal damnation for non-believers was a church she wouldn t attend. She stayed away from all churches for 25 years. One day she noticed that many people in her social justice groups were UU s. At work one day she announced, I m looking for a church that doesn t believe in hell. Do you know of one? A coworker and member of our church did indeed know of one and Kathleen came to us the following Sunday. Her reaction was, Where have you been all my life? That was 30 years ago and Kathleen has been an active member ever since. She believes in all the Seven Principles but loves the Sixth Principle best: We strive for a world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all. We are all one, says this lifelong idealist and champion of social justice. Work, love, and faith bind us together.

8 November 2018; Vol. 12, No. 9 FirstWords 8 Staff Rev. Kathleen Owens, Lead Minister Rev. Ian W. Riddell, Minister of Music and Worship Arts Rev. Tania Márquez, Assistant Minister Stevie Carmody, Intern Minister Rev. Jim Grant and Rev. Löne Broussard, Affiliate Ministers Rev. Bonnie Tarwater, Rev. Katy Swanson, and Rev. Julie Forest, Affiliate Community Ministers Robie Evans, Director of Operations Käthe Larick, Youth Programs and OWL s Nest Coordinator Angela Fujii, Social Justice Ministry Team Coordinator Jenner Daelyn, Connections Coordinator Pam Bates, Development Manager Lorelei Garner, South Bay Music Coordinator Andrea Newall-Lockett, JUUL Tones Ensemble Director Justin Murphy-Mancini, Organist and Pianist Connie Hayes, Bookkeeper / Controller Rose Riedel, Administrative Assistant Tony Bianca, Interim Religious Education Coordinator and Handbell Programs Director Karla Alvarez-Malo, Scheduler and South Bay Administrative Asst. Ray Evans, Maintenance Mark Epler, Event Coordinator Revs. Dr. Carolyn and Dr. Tom Owen-Towle, Ministers Emeriti Board of Trustees Les GrantSmith, President Rhiannon Smith, Vice President Sue Marberry, Treasurer James Long, Secretary Richard Costantinou, Kathleen Garcia-Horlor, Angela Garcia-Sims, Kathleen MacLeod and Sarah Ormond Trustees ONLINE & Web Addresses First Words Editor & Submissions, Nancy Fisk: nfisk1@juno.com To be added to the List: firstwords@firstuusandiego.org Scheduling of Church Property Requests: schedule@firstuusandiego.org Order of Service submissions: oos@firstuusandiego.org The Window submissions (Church bulletin): window@firstuusandiego.org Care Network: carenetwork@firstuusandiego.org First Church Web Sites: Main Website: South Bay Campus: To view sermon video casts, click on these YouTube or Vimeo buttons: Giving: Click on these Amazon Affiliate or igive buttons for your online shopping and First Church receives a portion of the sales. Secure and private. Our website: On facebook: 4190 Front Street (GPS use 298 W Arbor Drive) San Diego, CA Phone: Fax: mail@firstuusandiego.org POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: First Words, 4190 Front Street, San Diego, CA 92103