Barry Hall 1999, Taste Heaven Ministries. Corvallis, Or.

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2 Barry Hall 1999, 2000 Taste Heaven Ministries Corvallis, Or. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of Taste Heaven Ministries. Scriptures are taken from the updated NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1987, 1988, The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Other scriptures are from the New International Version or Amplified Bible as noted. Any emphasis to the scriptures has been added by this author.

3 Contents 1: Getting Started With Repentance 4 2: Correcting Possible Misunderstandings 16 3: What to Repent From 24 4: Understanding How 35 5: How to Focus Your Effort 42 6: Examples in Scripture and A Promise 49 7: How to Soften Your Heart Into Believing 59 8: The Most Important Principles for Repentance 70 9: 4 Steps in Everyday Life 82 10: Categories for Repentance What to Do About Reoccurring Sin A Warning and a Challenge 108

4 Chapter 1 Getting Started with Repentance About This Series of Books Everything in this series can be broken down in this way. We need to understand and believe we can draw near to God. We also need to know how to do it. Experiencing God continually requires that we learn to keep on removing the obstacles and distractions that keep us from staying near and continually drinking from God. This book focuses on removing the obstacles and distractions by repentance. About This Book What you have in your hands is a how to book about a deep kind of repentance. It is a study of practical principles in the Bible about how you can find freedom to turn more fully and draw nearer to God. It is not a about a repentance that is morbidly introspective. It is NOT a book about repenting from obvious behavioral sins. The principles here are very effective for behavioral sins. But this book is much more than that. It is about how you can direct your heart to turn to God with great joy. Freedom from behavioral sin is a natural byproduct of that kind of turning and drawing nearer to God. To me, this is repentance as God intends it. In this book you will learn how you can turn your heart toward God by getting yourself to hear, believe God, and delight in Him more fully. The book of Psalm is full of examples of those who apply the principles you will find here. Think of this book as a radical approach to applying principles of deep repentance determined for us by the Bible itself. Book one in this series explained that our problem has to do with the earthly ways we quench our thirst for God. That is what we need to repent from. This book shows you how to direct your heart to turn toward God in ways that help you want to be near Him and enjoy it. It is about how you can train your affections on God so that you joyfully turn from earthly substitutions, draw near to the Lord, and drink from Him. While this book is about how to direct yourself to turn to the Lord another book later in this series explains how you can quench your thirst by enjoying the presence of God. Try to be patient with yourself. Understanding how you can drink from God will come but we have to consider these things first. The way I see it, repentance is a process of continually directing our heart toward God in ways that help us to draw near and drink from Him by God s grace. Applying the principles you find here are designed to prepare you spiritually so that when you read about how to draw near and drink from God you will understand and experience what is described in that book. Repentance always precedes deeper experiences of being nearer to God and of enjoying His presence. But the repentance that this book talks about is how you can be nearer to God 24 hours-a-day not just at gatherings with other Christians. If you want that consider it best to focus on applying what you have here in your hands. Repentance As a Work of God

5 Getting Started with Repentance 5 We have to think clearly about this. Repentance is always a work of God no matter how much we are involved in the process! But repentance is not a gift to us! Faith is a gift (Eph. 2:8,9). God grants repentance (2Tim. 2:5). To grant repentance means that we are directly involved in the process. There is a deep kind of repentance that is totally the result of a supernatural work of God and that has little to do with us. This kind of repentance can happen when you are standing before the Lord, are trusting you are looking at Him, and you ask Him to reach in and work inside you in some area. Supernatural repentance can also happen when someone who is close to the Lord lays hands on you and prays for you in some area. The practical problems with these two ways are these: people don t start out close enough to God to let Him reach in and do that kind of work; those who are that close to God aren t always available. Repentance that is totally a work of God can also fall from heaven. We need to pray for a heavenly kind of conviction for sin and we need to pray for a Holy Spirit kind of repentance to come on us from God. Do you long for the Holy Spirit to fall on us in a way that results in a supernatural kind of repentance directly from God? You should want that. But the Bible speaks very little about pure Holy Spirit repentance. Far more is said about our responsibility to repent by taking steps to direct our heart toward God. Is it possible that you want Holy Spirit repentance so much that you are avoiding what the Bible says about taking steps to direct your heart toward God? That avoidance should stop. We can t long so much for repentance that is totally a work of God that we ignore our role along the way. Let me say it again; the Bible doesn t say that repentance is a gift! We can t wait around expecting God to do our repentance for us. God grants repentance (2Tim. 2:5). The Bible is very clear that we are to do the repenting. This book explains how. I write more about how to experience the pure work of God for repentance and for healing in the forth book of this series. For now, this book is for helping you get to the point where you can experience God that way. Begin now to let yourself be confident that you can grow to the place where you can experience God changing you supernaturally from one degree of glory to another because you are beholding His glory (2 Cor. 3:18). You can do that! You just need to take assertive steps to direct your heart toward God so that you find freedom to draw near and look at Him in that way. A Parable Once there was a farmer who had a donkey. The farmer loved his donkey but the animal loved to roam. Maybe it was a simple love for independence that drove the donkey to wander. Maybe it was the taste of grasses grown in the wild. The farmer didn t know. One day the farmer learned about a dangerous storm that was coming. He immediately set out to bring his donkey back to the safety and warmth of the barn. When he found the donkey he put a rope around the animals neck and pulled. But the donkey didn t want to come home. The farmer even got behind the animal and pushed. But the donkey just dug it s hooves into the ground and refused to budge. Knowing the danger of the situation the farmer grew desperate. The storm was almost upon them so he yelled and became angry with the donkey. The animal wouldn t cooperate. The farmer became even more frustrated. He found a big stick and hit the donkey. The animal stumbled under the blows. But rather than turning to the barn it kept trying to get away. Each time he hit the donkey and yelled the animal s desire for independence seemed even stronger. The farmer tried but nothing seemed to work. The storm was starting so he raced home, filled a bucket overflowing with oats, and grabbed a bridle. Maybe it was frustration that made the farmer come to his

6 6 How to Direct Your Heart Toward God senses. Maybe it was God. At first the donkey wouldn t even let the farmer get close. But the farmer was patient. Over and over he held out the bucket. Finally the donkey cooperated. He slipped the bridle over the donkeys head. But he soon found that the more he gave what the donkey loved the faster the donkey followed. 1 What does it mean? The farmer is us. The donkey represents our heart. The way the farmer tries to get the donkey to cooperate represents the ways we try to get ourselves to cooperate with God s purposes and draw near to Him. The oats in this story are truths about God that we can feed ourselves in order to increase our love and desire to turn and cooperate with God. This book shows you how to do that. Where I Come From My early years as a Christian were frustrating. I wanted to do the right thing, but often found I could not. It was clear that I needed to repent and draw closer to God, but I didn t know how. In my prayers I told God often and with great weeping, that we Christians would repent if He would only show us how. The cry of my heart was that God would teach me in a way that I could teach others also. Now, after more than 20 years of trying to understand these things I believe that this series on repentance is God s answer to my prayers. Who This is For This book is for people who want to be willing to apply what the Bible says about directing their heart toward God. It is for people who are tired, frustrated, and who are saying to themselves, There has to be a better way. It is for people who want to repent more deeply and experience God s presence in the process. This book is for people who want to experience God's presence more fully but who might be afraid to believe that experiencing God is realistic for them personally. This book is also for people who are ready to pay any price and who want to run toward God as fast as possible. In this book I give many powerful principles for how you can direct your heart toward God. I also show you many of the areas in which you will most likely need to repent. The next book in this series is for showing you how to apply these principles over and over in different areas of life. It isn t enough to know what the Bible says about repentance and resting in God. We have to do it. Please note. God doesn't work on us by following a straight path. That is why the tools that come later in this series are set up to help you focus on repentance by categories. But if you still think my showing people how to repent and how to turn to God sounds like a formula for spiritual growth then this book may frustrate you and you may be better off to look somewhere else. For this I make no apologies. I believe that most people need directions that are as clear and specific as possible. That is why this book exists. Are you a person with addictive tendencies? Are you a thrill seeker? Are you desperate to feel more secure? This book is for you. These tendencies can help you to experience God. This book will teach you how you can teach your heart truths that will make it attractive for you to turn and draw near to God. Are you looking for something more? Are you are tired of having to depend on earthly sources that don t satisfy and only hurt you? Do you sense that something is desperately wrong and that if you would let Him, God would make some big changes? Do you want freedom from long term struggles with unwanted behaviors? Are you ready to repent of other gods and turn to the Lord if you only knew what to do? Do 1 Many thanks to Karen Millegan in Texas for the original idea about this parable.

7 Getting Started with Repentance 7 you long to experience God s presence more fully? Are you ready to be zealous about addressing your pride and your fears in ways that give you freedom to turn to God? Are you ready to be honest without being condemning? Are you willing to take steps that are both assertive and kind in directing your heart toward God? If you answered, Yes, to any of these questions then repentance and this book is for you. You don t have to live in hopelessness any longer. You don t have to live in fear about not having what it takes to be closer to God. You can take action to direct your heart to turn and draw near to God. Even deeply-hidden obstacles can be removed. My Promise Am I describing a way to grow spiritually that can happen over-night? No. Even so, my promise to you is this: by applying the principles you find here, growth that would normally take a life-time can happen in a matter of several months to a year or two. Applying these things with zeal will help you to be more pure in your behavior. I can also assure you that you will become a more spiritual Christian. The principles you find here and in the series are effective enough that if you decide to jump in and apply them wholeheartedly, you won t ever be the same and you won t ever want to go back. I promise. Defining our Terms In biblical terms, repentance is about changing your mind. But I use the word repentance in a broader sense than the strict definition. I do that because repentance is the word that most accurately describes what you get when you try to fit everything together that the Bible says about growth toward God. Repentance is about turning and facing toward God. It is about changing your mind in terms of how you quench your thirst from earthly things to the presence of God. It is in that sense that I am saying we should repent. I am not talking about repentance where we temporarily turn to God because of difficult circumstances. This kind of repentance isn t usually very deep. Also, I am not talking about the times where we repent and turn to God because we suddenly realize the greatness of our sin. This is good but the problem here is that repenting this way can take an entire lifetime and we keep having to repent over and over. This book and the series is faster and more effective. It isn t always easy but the changes last. Repentance is much more than just what you do after you do something wrong. Think of repentance as a process of changing your mind about anything that keeps you from drawing closer to God. Our reluctance to turn toward God is because of our attachment to earthly things and fear from disbelief. Our repentance has to include these things or the repentance won t be effective enough. Repentance removes obstacles between you and God. It is also about changing your mind in ways that decrease your tendency to turn away from God. The repentance that is most effective is that which is preventative. In that sense, repentance as a biblical practice is an activity that describes something you can do for great personal and spiritual growth. Deep level change isn't going to happen just because you know some new information in your head. Earthly ways of living are learned at deep levels so are those that are spiritual. Jesus told us, For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within... (Mark 7:21-23a). Being effective at changing your mind requires taking steps to retrain your heart. You have to change your mind by retraining your heart because behavior, unwanted reactions, and pursuits flow from the heart. Doing so, changes you from the inside out. When repentance becomes preventative, your outward behavior improves because of a simple response to

8 8 How to Direct Your Heart Toward God the changes in what your heart is believing and loving. You can change! You just have to become an effective teacher and your own heart has to become your best student. Think of repentance as a process of continually of changing your mind by calming your fears and building your faith. But please note that the steps you take have to be specific! Your heart has to learn to believe that it is right, good, and safe to turn from earthly ways of living and turn to God. The obstacles have to be removed so that you find freedom to draw near to God. Repentance helps you die to self. But when the focus is rightly placed on turning and actually drawing near to God, it is a dying that isn t nearly as painful as you might think. Rather than having to feed yourself by earthly means you can turn and feed on God! That way, you don t have to hold back! You can take steps that help you run toward God. The repentance that works is fun. Repentance is worth the effort because the rewards are so great! Begin now to think of repentance as a delightful process of removing obstacles and continually drawing nearer to God. This book is for showing you how. Benefits of Repentance Repentance has benefits for us and for God. The Bible says,...repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord (Acts 3:19). Your sins are wiped away. Repentance is so that you find freedom from unwanted and sinful behaviors, damaging pursuits, harmful reactions, long term addictions, co-dependence. The repentance that this book explains extends so far as to give an ever increasing freedom from subtle sins of the heart. By repentance the Bible says that you also experience a refreshing from the presence of God. Because of the refreshing from God, your repentance helps to eliminate your need to depend on earthly sources that have hurt you so often in the past. You still get hurt, but repentance helps you find healing by soothing yourself with God. Repentance removes the barriers so you can crawl into God s lap and let Him reach in and do surgery on the ways you have been hurt. That isn't all. The Bible says, and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land. (2 Chron. 7:14). The benefits of repentance are great. When God s people on a broad scale repent and turn to seek His face, God will heal our land by the refreshing we experience from His presence! The big picture is that God must be allowed to dwell more intensely with we who are His church 24 hours-a-day. Most Christians seem like they are waiting for God to do something. That isn t right! God is waiting for us. We are the ones holding back. The issue before us is that we need to cooperate with God more fully. The way forward is through the door of repentance. The cross of Christ is the only way. By repenting so as to experience God's presence, your single-hearted love and devotion toward God will increase greatly. God will have a child who cooperates with Him more fully. Your purity will increase because you are feeding on God and not on earthly sources. Your worship will be less hindered because of greater delight toward God. By widespread repentance we will give God freedom to heal this land. Purity by His Grace Purity is paramount. Finding freedom to draw near to God requires that we experience a purity that, quite frankly, is beyond the experience of most Christians. The Bible says, Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord? And who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood and has not sworn deceitfully (Ps. 24:3,4). The obvious question is to ask, How is this possible for anyone?

9 Getting Started with Repentance 9 Our proneness toward sin is driven by hurts from our past and by a tension created by our unmet need for the nearness of God. Purity becomes practical when we meet our need for the presence of God. When you draw near to God and drink you are also able to crawl into His lap and let Him heal you of past hurts. Purity in our behavior comes from purity in our heart. Rather than our hearts being soothed and reassured by sinful means, we must be reassured with the presence of God. Rather than being pushed back into sin because of so much hurt we must draw near and let God heal us. Rather than fill ourselves from the rebellious power we feel in sin, we have to direct our affections toward God and quench our thirsty desires with the healing presence of the Holy Spirit. Please note that purity in our behavior has far more to do with how much we enjoy the soothing reassurance of the Holy Spirit than it does with doing or not doing certain activities. Sin becomes much less attractive when you are actually quenching your thirst with God. By this you have the strength you need to say, No, when temptation comes. Being pure before the Lord applies to more than just our behavior. We also need the cleansing of God. Meeting our need for the presence of God requires that we enter the throne room of God and draw near to the Lord. The beauty of God s plan is that He cleanses us in the process of our drawing near to Him (Heb. 10:19,22). By drawing near you can let God wash you so well that all your shame dissolves away. Purity requires both. Purity in our behavior and the purity that comes from the cleansing of God. Our part in being pure is to direct the beliefs and loves of our heart so we find freedom to draw near to God and let Him draw intensely near to us. Doing that is repentance. Please hear this: you don t wait to draw near until you come to the place where you believe you are perfect! If that happens then you need to take assertive steps to direct your faith to rest on God as your perfection and not on yourself. Direct your heart away from trusting earthly sources or yourself as your confidence and security, then let yourself be confident that God wants you to enter and draw near! Idolatry of the Heart It isn t news that we Christians should repent of obvious sins. What may be news to you is that all our obvious sins are the result of something much worse than what you see on the surface. The problem is so great that none of us are exempt even those of us who don t appear to have any obvious sin. Our problem is an idolatry of the heart that is seldom detected and seldom dealt with effectively. The result is that we aren t experiencing the closeness to God that is possible for each of us and we hardly even realize it. We need to repent because of hidden idolatry of the heart. God made our thirst for Him so strong that the things that rob us of love for Him are the very things that we make into substitutes for God. We need to repent from feeding our desire for God by subtle ways of finding refuge, glory, and strength in how well we control the circumstances, how well we maintain the approval of people, how well we avoid risk, or how well we keep people impressed. These substitutions are our modern day form of idolatry. We need to repent because it is these kinds of things that rob us of vitality and joy in our relationship with God. They steel away our delight toward God. It is God s desire that we love Him as our refuge, our glory, and our strength because He defines idolatry in these terms (Deut. 32:37-39; Jer. 2:11-13; Hab. 1:11). God wants to be our one and only God. When God becomes your refuge, glory, and strength He becomes your first love His closeness to you becomes your reason for being secure and confident not material things, not our job, our house, our money, our appearance, what we know, what we do, not the church we attend, not the acceptance and approval of people, not our personality, not our ministry, not our family, not even the doctrines we believe. If you don t think you have need of repentance think again. God looks at the heart. Has your love for God

10 10 How to Direct Your Heart Toward God become lukewarm, or even cold? Are you more independent from God than you care to admit? Are you aware of God s presence, but only on occasion? Do you feel that God is far away? Repentance helps correct these problems. We need to take steps to repent at deep levels because we can t receive God s presence when our heart-level habit has become to feed ourselves by receiving from earthly sources! Even subtle forms of idolatry destroy our ability to rest and receive God s presence in simplicity of faith. Take courage! This book shows how to use delight as a tool to calm your fears, how to recklessly uncover your own idolatry of heart, and what you can do to find freedom to stay near to God. God is waiting. God wants to be nearer to His people 24 hours-a-day! It is idolatry of the heart that is preventing us from experiencing God s presence as God desires. The world will stay unconvinced until the church repents. We have to repent with the intention of drawing near to God because it is in doing so that He will draw near to us (James 4:8). Anything less and our repentance won t be complete! Abiding in Christ This book is about repentance from sin of the heart. It is also about a repentance that is toward abiding in Christ. Let me be more specific. It is not about abiding in the sense of maintaining our relationship to Christ although it does that. This book is about a repentance toward faith in the grace of God that allows us to abide inside His presence. But what does abiding in Christ mean? Jesus told us, Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing...my Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples (John 15:4,5 and 8). Abiding means that God has to be inside us and we have to be inside God. God is inside all who are truly Christians. But not all Christians are abiding in the presence of God. I believe that we are to abide in Christ by drawing near to God and by experiencing His being near to us. Abiding in Christ is far more than a heady theological idea. I am talking about living every moment with the person of Jesus Christ right next to you. I am talking about living every moment with the radiant presence of Christ all around you. I am talking about living in the throne room of God -- here. I am talking about abiding in the kingdom of God here. The Bible promises this to you. I am talking about something that is real and that is realistic for you! These books are for showing you how. It Takes Effort to Abide by Grace! Here are two statements that are true but at first they can seem contradictory: 1). It takes effort to abide in Christ. 2). The presence of God that is necessary for abiding comes to us by His grace. The reason these statements aren t contradictory is because we have to work at trusting God s grace to draw near to us. We have to work at abiding but we are only able to abide because of God s grace. Abiding requires effort because much more than we realize, we live according to what the Bible calls works. Repentance is necessary for abiding because our greatest tendency is to work at deserving the presence of God rather than abiding in His presence by trusting God s grace. Elsewhere I explain that we have to work at resting. We have to work at training our heart to abide by God's grace.

11 Getting Started with Repentance 11 A Repentance Toward Abiding is Essential! The Bible says, O Ephriam, what more have I to do with idols? It is I who answer and look after you. I am like a luxuriant cypress; from Me comes your fruit (Hos. 14:8b). It is I who have declared and saved and proclaimed, and there was no strange god among you; so you are My witnesses, declares the Lord, and I am God (Isa. 43:12). We have to change from idolatry in order to have fruit from God and be effective witnesses. The quality of our witness depends on the quality of our repentance from idolatry. I am convinced that idolatry of the heart is source of the problem. That is where we have to change. This book shows what idolatry is and how you can turn from idolatry and toward abiding. Please note that every time I talk about repentance it is always a repentance that is from those things that keep us from abiding in Christ. It is also a repentance that directs our heart toward freedom to abide in the presence of God. Repentance that is aimed to turn our heart from idolatry makes abiding easier and much more practical. Meaning and Success is From Abiding Meaning in life is from the quality of our abiding. The Father is glorified by the work that He does through us. But we are abiding we also have to be confidently believing that the Father is actually the one who is doing the work. When I get discouraged about abiding I am strengthened and I find courage by reminding myself of these next two statements: 1). Success in the Christian life depends on the quality of our abiding. 2). If we are not abiding in the presence of Christ the eternal value of that moment is lost. Without abiding there can be no fruit that lasts for eternity. I hope you find motivation in these things too. Abiding by faith in God's grace takes repentance that is work! Be assured that repentance toward abiding is worth the effort! The Problem and the Solution Our problem is that we work so hard at finding earthly substitutions for God. Doing so has blinded us to believing the abundant grace of God in regard to His willingness to draw near to us intensely. What happens when you think about your being able to experience God s presence? Do you feel fear? Hopelessness? Shame? Discouragement? Do you feel a greater desire to commitment yourself to working harder? Do you look at other spiritual Christians and think, I ll never make it? All of these things are evidence that your faith is firmly planted in yours works and not in God s grace. The pressure isn t on you to perform better in order to deserve God s presence! These are the kinds of thoughts you have to learn to take captive and repent from! We have to repent from quenching our thirst by means of our works and achievements. We also have to repent into a kind of rest that allows us to receive God s presence by His grace. This book shows you how to have fun doing that. Dying to self may not sound like fun, but I promise that it won t be nearly as painful as you might think. Repentance aimed at dying and at being more alive to God is a process that can be a joy! Dying to self

12 12 How to Direct Your Heart Toward God is only the process God s presence is the result! The price you have to pay to repent is nothing in comparison to the pay back here and now. Carrying your cross is reason for joy not misery and groveling. You can experience God s presence intensely! Of Fears and Turning to God An honest look at where we are compared to where we need to be reveals that many of us are dragging our feet trying to avoid moving forward in our walk with God. If thoughts of repentance and of turning to God fill you with fear, try to keep in mind that you are not alone. Many have the same feelings as you. Some are afraid that if they did try to repent and draw near to God, they might find out they were unacceptable for some reason and they wouldn t be able to bear that. Others are afraid that if they ever did succeed at being close to God, they wouldn t be able to maintain their spirituality. Their experience tells them they would only fall back into sin again. They have tried to repent many times, but have kept having the same problems with very little improvement. Long term inability to experience greater purity before the Lord has lead many to believe they don t deserve to be closer to God. Others are afraid that repentance means that God is asking them to give up something that He has no intention to replace here and now. This is not true! God offers you His presence freely and abundantly by His grace. I was afraid of all of these things. Much of the reason for this fear goes back to our a deeply held belief that we should have to earn everything that we receive so much so that God s grace hardly makes sense to us. Believing we should have to deserve what we receive from God whether forgiveness, love, or His presence with us results in combinations of pride and fear that keep us distracted from God, pursuing earthly things, and also makes us afraid to be intimately close to the Lord. The resulting pride and fear keeps us living by faith in our own efforts to deserve what we receive from God and not by faith in His grace. But knowing this about us is not reason for self-condemnation. It is reason for repentance with great joy! When you catch yourself doing something wrong, ask for forgiveness as you need to, but do so without self-condemnation. Thrill your heart into trusting the power of the cross of Christ. You have to learn to react with delight to repent. Condemnation only keeps you in bondage. It makes you cower and close up inside and prevents you from being able to receive God s presence. Begin now to think of repentance as a process of patiently dealing with the reasons you hold back from God. You can learn to calm your fears with truth! You can experience God s presence here and now! You just need to repent in keeping with the grace of God and not by faith in your works. Think of repentance as continually making it easier and easier for you to turn and draw nearer to the Lord. Doing so, is much more effective and much less painful than trying to condemn yourself into improving. Decide now that you are going to use delight as a tool to calm your heart in to believing it is far safer to run toward God than to hold back. You may already know that in your head, but if you aren t doing it the reason is because your heart needs to believe it! Of Spiritual Understanding as a Substitute for God One important thing to watch out for is the tendency to find a substitute for God in newly acquired knowledge about spiritual things. Early in my pilgrimage I observed that with each new thing I learned about repentance and drawing nearer to God I seemed to be satisfied just enough to settle down and stop moving forward. Every time I learned something new my reaction was to take a vacation from seeking God. I knew this slowed my spiritual growth so I fought against it.

13 Getting Started with Repentance 13 For me the problem boiled down to a practical example of needing to repent from feeding myself with the "achievements" of my own works. I was working to learn about God. That much was right. The problem came when I would make the "achievement" of newly acquired knowledge into a substitution for God. Does this sound like something you may be doing? This problem is common. Let me remind you again that the substitution we feed on are always related to God in some way -- directly, or His exact opposite. God's knowledge and understanding has glory. Human knowledge and understanding have glory too. Our problem is that we tend to feed ourselves with pride from our human glories even though it is a glory that far less than the glory of God. The result of being satisfied with ourselves is a greatly decreased desire for God. We all know that knowledge and understanding are a gift from God. Without Him we wouldn't have any understanding at all. The problem is that knowing that isn't enough to keep us from turning the gift of God into pride. What we know in our head is a long way from the things that drive our behavior. It is the patterns of living that our heart has learned that have to change. So what do we do? Should we react by trying harder to stop feeding ourselves with pride? If we try to correct ourselves by "working harder" we will only be addressing the surface problem and we will turn any -- even slight -- amount of "success" into pride. Change that results by a direct focus on outward behavior is change that is based on "works." Most often change that is according to works is also accompanied by self-contempt and condemnation. We have to get to the heart of the matter. We have to stop finding our satisfaction in newly acquired knowledge and understanding. Does this mean we should stop working at knowing God better? Absolutely not! Learning how to repent and draw near takes a great deal of effort on our part. That effort is essential to the learning and growing process. The problems come when we turn and feed ourselves with the fruit of our labors rather than with God Himself. We have to change according to grace and the new covenant. Don't let yourself slow down and waste time in your in your pursuit and growth toward God. Let our tendency to feed on newly acquired understanding, let it be a testimony of how desperately we all want God. The Bible says that an ox shouldn't be muzzled when it is working to grind grain. The same principle applies to us! When you learn something new let it catapult you into strong thanks and praise that you don't have to feed yourself that way. But don't stop there! Turn and feast on God! Don't react by muzzling yourself whenever you learn something new! That would be trying to change according to works and not grace. Use it to your advantage whenever you learn something new about God. Repent by using your tendency to want to open up and feed on the newly acquired knowledge. Repent by remaining open and turning to feed on God. It is change according to the new covenant and grace when you rejoice your heart into faith that allows you to turn and feed on God. These principles can be applied to any level of change that happens for the better. In any case our tendency can be to feed on the growth and not on God. This can be true for newly found hope, a new experience with God, even with showing someone else how to draw near and drink. I am having to deal with that myself right now. Don t Think Small Receiving the presence of God according to His abundant grace is very different from the way most Christians live today. It hasn t always been that way. A man we know as brother Lawrence lived over three hundred years ago. He was a Carmelite lay brother whose task it was to work in the kitchen. We know of him because a book called, the practice of the presence OF GOD. Though much of the book was written by a close friend, Brother Lawrence is credited with authorship. Concerning the presence of God, the book has become a Christian classic. Of him it was said,

14 14 How to Direct Your Heart Toward God He often calls men blind, complaining that we are content with too little. God has infinite treasures to give to us, he says. Why should we be satisfied with a brief moment of worship? With such meager devotion, we restrain the flow of God s abundant grace. If God can find a soul filled with a lively faith, He pours His grace into it in a torrent which, having found an open channel, gushes out exuberantly. We often stop this torrent...we mustn t restrain it any longer. 2 Experiencing the grace of God as a torrent flowing through you isn t nearly as difficult as it might seem. Another place in the same book it says, In the beginning...a little effort was needed to form the habit...but after a little careful practice, God s love refreshed him, and it all became quite easy. 3 You will find the same thing is true for you too. But, it is likely you are going to have to think more in terms of the abundance of God s grace. Idealism and Childlike Faith God is a God of the ideal. He won t settle for anything less. He is always stretching us and wanting us to move forward. The problem is that most of us don t think that way especially as we get older. I am convinced that part of what it means to live by faith is that we have to think in terms of the ideal. Historically, whenever wide spread growth takes place, it is the idealism of youth that allows the younger generation to improve on the older. This principle is as true on a social level as it is on an individual basis. Idealism is vital to living by faith because if you loose it you stop growing. Our God is gracious. He never stops giving. The problem is with how much we hold back because of disbelief. The solution is to learn to think as one who is young again. We have to receive the kingdom like a child receives a great gift without hesitating because of disbelief that the Giver might not be giving. When I was young my grandmother had a candy dish. Whenever we visited my sister and I would race to see who could get there first. It was always full. We ate lots of candy. We children so we had no intention to control our desires. We didn t hold back. My parents didn t like that we ate so much candy but my grandma loved it. She always made sure there was always more than enough. We need to come to God the same way delighting ourselves in abundance (Isa. 55:1,2). When it comes to being near to God and experiencing His presence, more is always possible. We dare not settle for anything less than what God considers the ideal. Do you know for sure that you have a river of the Holy Spirit flowing out from inside of you (John 7:37-39)? You don t have to settle for just a trickle! It is because God is God that the river you drink from Him can always get bigger. Just like brother Lawrence, you too can experience the grace of God as a torrent gushing through you. Repent so as to put your faith in God and not in yourself. By taking action to get your heart to hear, you can find freedom to rest into trusting God s grace. Value the ideal! Decide you are going to do what it takes to find freedom to receive what is the ideal in accordance with faith not fear. The grace of God is worthy of your trust. Your Assignment for This Book Your assignment is to let your heart come to the place of saying, Because this is what the Bible says about how to repent and change, I can confidently trust that it will work for me. Doing that will help you with 2 Brother Lawrence, the practice of the presence OF GOD (Springdale: Whitaker House, 1982), 26,27. 3 Brother Lawrence, the practice of the presence OF GOD (Springdale: Whitaker House, 1982), 11.

15 Getting Started with Repentance 15 motivation to apply these things. Have you tried to repent in the past and failed? Then you may have difficulty making the statement above. If that describes you then you are going to have to take the principles in this book and apply them toward softening your heart so that you can respond as in the quoted statement above. Our mind and our heart are often a long way from each other. If at the end of this book your mind is convinced but your heart is even slightly wavering you should go the appendix in the back and apply those principles. The appendix at the end of this book has heart-training statements aimed to help get your heart to hear and believe the principles in this book. A section is also included in the back that has verses about God. I call that section heart softener verses because when you are just starting out to apply these things it is often the case that you need to work with your heart in order to hear and believe the truth about God. Don t think that you need to have everything perfect in the appendix of this book before you can go on to the next book in this series. An Introduction to Heart-training Before we go any further, I want you to know that the next two books in this series are for helping you to do what you find here in this book. The next book after this is a very important tool for repentance I call, Heart-training! While this book and the next explains, How to Repent, Heart-training! gives you the specifics of what to do. This book prepares you for the Heart-training! book. Beyond the book itself it is more accurate to think of hearttraining as that process that applies all of the principles involved in directing your heart toward God. One of the best things about Heart-training! is that you don t have to worry about fitting all of the principles in this book together yourself. I have already done that for you. Heart-training! guides you through the process of applying all of the principles you will read here. It may not be obvious on the surface, but Heart-training! was written over a period of about 10 years after I learned what I am writing to you about here. The problem with the Heart-training! book is that at first glance it doesn t look like something that will work. You have to understand why Heart-training! will work or you probably won t want to use it. This book gives explanation of the scriptures about how we are to direct our heart toward God. In doing that you will be better prepared for the process of actually directing your heart toward God. Without this explanation chances are strong that you would never concern yourself with heart-training. It is vital that you understand what the Bible says about how to repent. Focus here first. If you go to the Heart-training! before you understand what the Bible says about how to repent, you may not have sufficient reason to keep using it. By understanding these principles first, you will be able to repent with much greater zeal and confidence. Without that zeal and confidence your repentance won t ever be as deep or as effective as needed. Again let me say that your goal as you read these things should be to come to the place where you can say, Since this is what the Bible says about how to repent,it is right and safe for me to believe that biblical repentance will work for me. Said another way, your goal should be to let yourself be convinced that heart-training will work for you. Coming to that place will prepare you for repentance with great joy.

16 Chapter 2 Correcting Possible Misunderstandings Think Rightly It is time for us to think more accurately about repentance! Great misunderstandings about repentance are all through the church today. Few understand the extent to which we must repent. Even fewer understand the biblical principles that would make it effective. Repentance is not a morbid kind of introspection bent on groveling before God and motivating change by self-condemnation. The Bible says, Repent and turn away from all your transgressions, so that iniquity may not become a stumbling block to you (Ezek.18:30b). Rather than create more stumbling blocks your repentance needs to be what removes the obstacles that keep you away from God. Christians today want to change. They long to be closer to God. But, my observations are that most don t understand how to repent according to biblical principles that work. The result has been frustration, hopelessness, despair, and shame. Some have even come to believe that it is just not possible for them to be able to experience intense levels of closeness to God. This is wrong. It is my strong intention to help change this. Concerning Deliverance Ministry It hurts me to see those who emphasize deliverance ministry above the importance of repentance. Delivering people from demonic oppression is important for today. But I believe that ministry of this kind is far from what is most important for spiritual growth. Deliverance is far from being our biggest need in the area of spiritual growth. It should not be treated as such. The Bible says, But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust (James 1:14). The vast majority of our problem is ourselves. Even if a person is delivered from demonic oppression the habit pattern of sin can still exist. The problem here is that an emotional dependence on the sin has developed. That particular sin may be the only way the person knows to ease the pain from their unquenched thirst for the presence of God. I know because I have been there myself. Yes, this sounds twisted but I believe that many live this way even in the church. It is time for this to change. You should not be unaware that feeling like you are being pushed to do the wrong thing may be the result of demonic pressure. You can stand firm and cause the enemy to flee by rejoicing in the Lord that you don t have to agree with demonic pressure. You don t have to do what they want because you don t have to feed yourself with sin; I will quench my thirst with God. The solution is for the individual to take assertive steps to direct their heart toward God. They need to learn to replace the momentary pleasures sin with the pleasure and thrill of drinking and enjoying the presence of God. Repentance and believing are what is needed. The beauty of turning and drinking from God is that we get to unleash all our addictive and compulsive tendencies on God. In the end, tendencies like these actually help us to stay turned and drinking from God. Demonic enemies hate when you turn to God and quench your thirst with Him. You can stop being the basis for why they pride themselves. Turn your heart to God, stand firm before Him and they flee. Our Part and God s

17 Correcting Possible Misunderstandings 17 Changes in us are always the result of what God does. God causes the growth (1 Cor. 3:6). He does it all. But we must do our part too. Being able to repent is a gift from God. The Bible talks about how we should, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth (2 Tim. 2:25). But while repentance is a gift from God it is not a gift that He holds back. Jesus was put to death on the cross and was raised up to the right hand of the Father in order to grant repentance and the forgiveness of sins (Acts 5:30,31). You don t have to beg God to grant a spirit of repentance. Just like salvation, God offers repentance and forgiveness freely, to any who will receive it. Ability to repent is a free gift that is always available. At the same time, it is to us that the Bible says, repent and turn to God (Acts 26:20b). The responsibility for repentance is on us. Ultimately, it is only God who can make us grow. But repentance is something that we have to do. Repenting is not something that you should wait for God to do for you. The apostle Paul helps us to keep it in perspective when he said, I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. (1 Cor. 3:6). God causes the growth, but we are the ones who need to do the planting and the watering. God has His part. He makes you grow! Your part is to change your mind by planting the truth in your heart and watering it! God will do His part! He is waiting until you do yours. Something We Must Do! You have a vital role in how much you grow in the Lord! It is time to accept more of that responsibility. Bible reading and prayer are vital to the Christian life, so is repentance! Repentance is important for salvation. But a lifestyle of repentance is vital for those of us who have already chosen to follow God. We Christians know we should love God. Jesus told us the most important command in all the Bible is that,...the Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength (Mark 12:29-30). But the Bible also says, But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first... (Rev. 2:4,5). We are the ones who need to repent. It is to God s people that the Bible says, Repent and turn away from your idols and turn your faces away from all your abominations. (Eze. 14:6). Another place it says, return to the Lord with all your heart, remove the foreign gods...from among you and direct your hearts to the Lord and serve Him alone; and He will deliver you... (1 Sam. 7:3). Think of repentance as directing your heart toward God in such a way that your most natural reaction is to run toward God and love Him more. Doing so should be at the very core of how you live your Christian life. God wants us to...know that I am the Lord who sanctifies you (Exo. 31:3). But it also says that we should...sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts (1 Pet. 3:15a). It is to us that the Bible says,...train yourself to be godly (1 Tim. 4:7 NIV). Even though it is God who makes us grow, the Bible is clear about our responsibility to take an active role in the process. Accepting responsibility for repentance is not an option. Jesus told us, Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple (Luke 14:27). Carry your cross by accepting your responsibility to continually direct your heart toward God. It is because our heart is so prone to wander that repentance has to become a natural part of every day. Think of How to Repent as what you can do to prepare your heart so that God is better able to change you. It s About Life!