Overcoming Fear and Rejection. Midweek Instruction Reid Temple AME Church Pastor Washington

Transcription

1 Overcoming Fear and Rejection Midweek Instruction Reid Temple AME Church Pastor Washington

2 Sources of Fear and Rejection For us to overcome our fears and rejection, it is crucial we unearth where they originate from, which then shows us what thoughts trigger them. Attitudes we are taught as children: we are taught and trained early in life at times deliberately but more often unintentionally, through comments of rejection and reactions to fear things other people do. It takes a great deal of intentional effort to overcome what is modeled to you and to replace it with God s truth and God s perspective. When you learn a principle early in life from an authority figure whom you love or admire such as a parent, family member, pastor, or teacher you never fully forget it.

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4 Fear and Our Imaginations Our creative mind is an amazing and powerful gift from God. When used for positive purposes such as glorifying God or serving others it can be extremely helpful. Unfortunately, the same imagination can become a prison for us if employed in a negative manner. People can become dominated by what I call shadow fears then fret about problems that aren t real and don t occur. Our worries have no bases other then their imaginations and they end up missing God s best for their lives. Isaiah 65:2

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6 Shadow Fear When facing a problem, do I usually worry that the worst thing will happen? Does imagining everything that could go wrong in a given situation ever prevent me from stepping out in faith? Are there issues that I fret about constantly such as a loved one getting sick, people rejecting me, or losing everything I own that actually have no basis in reality? If you have said this to yourself most likely your imagination is out of control and needs to be tamed. Ask God to redeem your creativity and help you be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

7 If you stand straight, do not fear a crooked shadow.

8 Lack of Information A lack of information or the unknown can be terrifying. What we don t understand about our circumstances can cause us to be exceedingly fearful. Matt. 6:31-34 What will the future hold? How will we overcome obstacles that are ahead? What if we can t handle the troubles we encounter? Most of us have experienced the apprehension that occurs when we recognize our information is incomplete. Fear based on lack of information happens when (a) information that we recognize is incomplete. (b) information we may not realize is inadequate. ( c ) information that we cannot know.

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10 A Wrong View of God One of the great sources of fear is God Himself. The deepest root of our fear is being exposed and found lacking in God s presence. A faulty view of how God cares for or provides for you may also be the source of a great deal of fear in your life. Flawed beliefs will eventually crumble under the truth of God s scripture and holy word. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. Feeling scared all the time does not fit as a child of God. 2 Tim. 1:7.

11 Doubt and Wrong Belief If you doubt the Lord s character motives and plan, then it is no wonder you are fearful. When you investigate, seek God in prayer, study God s word, examine all God provided for you on the cross, ask God do I have an accurate view of who You are, how you love me, and what You are teaching me? Am I learning about You and trusting You as I should? Am I holding on to wrong beliefs that hinder my knowing You and interacting with You. In God is our true hope and safe refuge. God is the one who is all sufficient and capable of helping us with perfect power and wisdom.

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13 Triumphing Over Abiding Fear Do you have any valid reasons to hold on to your fear when God has said you don t have to? Isaiah 41:10. Regardless of what you are facing in life, the Sovereign God of the universe your omnipotent Creator, wise Father, mighty defender and awesome Lord is going to hold you securely in the palm of His hand. God will provide for you, protect you, and deliver you. God will hold you safely and bring you through life s difficulties victoriously, no matter what. Therefore, choose to know God better and trust God more so you can overcome your fears.

14 Acknowledge your Fear To God Philippians 4:6-7. The word guard is like an army building a wall around you to protect you from fear. When you bring your fears to the Lord, God helps you to understand that God is your safety. Your personal relationship with God is everything the most important aspect of your life, without expression. It is the basis of your joy, peace, fulfillment, worth, and success. Ps. 73:26. Everyone faces times of fear, but the men and women who triumph are the ones who take their troubles to the Lord, who is able to overcome them.

15 Not many can admit their fears, but those who can lead a fulfilling life of happiness knowing they hide nothing and need not to.

16 Replacing the Root of Fear by God s Word This is important because the way to overcome roots of feat is to replace them with God s word. The Spirit of God working through the Word of God in a heart dedicated to God will always succeed. Psalm 56:3 Every time fear rose up with the Psalmist, it would remind him to express His faith in the Lord. You can t tell me that that won t make a tremendous difference in his life. The Spirit of God working through the Word of God in a heart dedicated to God will always succeed in glorifying God in ways you can t even begin to imagine. Is. 55:10-11, Heb. 4:12-16.

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18 Change Your Focus From Fear to God If you measure the adversity you are facing against your own ability to handle it, you will always experience fear. You can t help it no human can, the trials, worries, burdens, and concerns that arise can seem absolutely overwhelming but when you look at them in terms of what the Sovereign Lord can do, nothing seems impossible. Ps. 103:19; Mark 10:27 Therefore, always keep these two facts in mind, first the Lord loves you unconditionally and wants the best for you. Secondly, God has both the wisdom and power to help you. Eph 3:20 God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent.

19 Never seek to defeat the enemy you are fighting, seek to defeat his confidence. A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course of victory, two people are equals true equals only when they both have equal confidence.

20 Give The Lord Praise and Thanks There is an awesome power in praise and thanksgiving. Something amazing happens within us in our situation when we rejoice and give God the glory regardless of our circumstances. Not only does our gratefulness honor the Father in the manner He deserves, but it also refocuses our attention on His ability to help us, releases us from anxiety, reinforces our faith and encourages those with whom we are speaking Col. 3: This is the reason the apostle Paul said, rejoice, always, pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thess. 5:16-18.

21 A Continuing Process Please understand that none of this is a quick, one-time fix, your fears and concerns may resurface in your life repeatedly and come to your mind often perhaps even hourly at first. It will take time, perseverance, consistency to root out the damaging attitudes, false beliefs, and shadow fears that torment you. Just be patient with yourself and understand that this is a battle won by determination, and discipline and dedication to the Father. The best part is the old feelings of fear that used to well up in us will absolutely be replaced by the deep abiding and calm which surpasses all comprehension. Phil. 4:7

22 Overcoming the Fear of Rejection From early on in life, we are taught that not everyone is going to like us. Some people won t want to be our friends; they will disagree with us and even stand in opposition to us. All of us have been rejected at one point or another in various ways, we may even be disparaged openly and publically. It isn t the rebuke of strangers but the rejection of those closest to us that causes us the most pain and damage. If you ever experienced rejection from someone close it leaves you humiliated, demoralized, and unsettled.

23 I think all great innovations are built on rejections so don t waste yourself on rejection but remember the beauty of what is good. Philippians: 4:8

24 Rejection Bondage Rejection causes some of the most painful bondage that anyone ever experiences because it influences what you believe about ourselves. This is what happens when a person or a group of people who may have been trying to hurt or control us deems us unlovable, unfit, worthless we unconsciously accept that others must hold the same belief. Rejection strikes at the foundation of our identity distorting what we think is true about who we are and what we are worth. We may not perceive its effects. We may not think it bothers us. We may not even realize or remember that we were rejected but instinctively we become more self-critical.

25 You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.

26 Residue of Rejection Emotional wounds from childhood may have been formed through events that you have no conscious memory of. Long buried feelings of being undesirable or unwelcome may persist in affecting you because of what you continue to tell yourself. This is why it is so important to determine if any of the evidence of rejection is present in your life. Ask the holy Spirit to uncover any hidden wounds you may have and be open to what he has to say to you, write down what He reveals so you can unearth the thought patterns that hold you captive and replace them with biblical truth that sets you free.

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28 A Critical Focus on Yourself The most obvious symptom of being wounded by rejection is that you continually criticize yourself. Do you tell yourself you are a failure, stupid, ugly? Do you doubt people will accept you or wonder if you are a burden to them? Do you compare yourself to others in the hope of feeling better about yourself? Are you constantly complaining about your appearance, weight, job performance, income, or other aspects of your life? Do you fret because you do not receive recognition from certain friends or authority figures. Are you concerned with devising ways of capturing their attention both positive through good deed and negative through complaining?

29 I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent person to the thoughtless approval of the masses.

30 Faultfinding View of Others If someone you know is easily angered, and constantly criticizing people, it may very well be that a deep sense of inferiority is driving this unsympathetic attitude. By condemning others, a person in bondage to rejection somehow feels better about themselves perhaps believing they look good by comparison or that taking the attention off themselves and diverting it to the person they are criticizing. Matt. 7:3 The vital difference between valid spiritual discernment and an attitude of rejection is your mind-set toward the object of your criticism.

31 One who does not realize his or her own value is condemned to utter failure. Every kind of complex, superiority or inferiority is harmful to man.

32 Avoidance of Intimacy Because of ever present feelings of shame and low self-esteem persons struggling with rejection may be afraid that the people they really care about will get close enough to discover the truth that there are thoughts and feelings deeps within them that make them unlovable. In other words they simply don t feel worthy of another person s love so when the individual begins to feel people becoming too familiar or dependent they push them away sabotaging the relationship. They will retreat emotionally or by attempting to repel the loved one with negative behavior. 1 Cor. 13:5 Or because they see people as objects to be used for pleasure they never fully engage emotionally.

33 Inclination Toward Isolation and Loneliness Rejection and loneliness are very similar because they both involve the feelings of being emotionally disconnected and fear of being unwanted. Rejection stems from another s refusal to be involved with us, loneliness often arises from our inability because of social skill circumstances, time or distance to reach out and connect with others. A person who spends a great deal of time alone and thereby does not have opportunities to practice interacting with others may be misunderstood as aloof, awkward, or detached in social situations, which elicits undesirable and adverse reaction from their peers.

34 The worse loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.