The Enneagram A Guidebook to the Wisdom of Self-Observa on

Transcription

1 The Enneagram A Guidebook to the Wisdom of Self-Observa on First Presbyterian Church Lancaster

2 Personality tests help us to pay closer a en on to that part of us we place in the showroom. Enneagram turns our a en on to the other parts of our being out oback in the warehouse going unno ced. What spiritual prac ce do you enjoy most and feel successful doing? Is there a cluster of spiritual prac ces that feel unnecessary or irrelevant to you?

3 Forma on Discovery Series Introduc on to FPC Spiritual Forma on Series When asked what is the greatest commandment, Jesus Christ answered and said, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. And the second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' (Mark 12:30-31) This may sound simple enough. Yet this turns out to be the most difficult and challenging task any human being undertakes. Following Jesus into the Kingdom of Heaven is not for the faint of heart. In fact the reason non-discipleship is so popular in the church today is because it is far easier to love God with something less than one's all. However, I think the challenge to loving God with one's all is not due to unwillingness but rather to unawareness. How can I love God with all that I am if I do not know or acknowledge my wholeself? I cannot offer back to God what I am unaware that I possess. Regardless of the reasons, those unknown or unseen parts of the self long to know God and be known by God. Dead places long for life. Wounded places long for healing. Empty places long for sa sfac on. Confused places long for knowledge. Ignored places long for divine affirma on. And they will find a way to get what they want one way or another. If these unno ced places of the self are finding what they seek in something other than God, this can cause turmoil or unrest in one's life. Because Jesus Christ came to bring abundant life to all people, he can be trusted to lead you into the fullest knowledge of who you are. Discovering all that you are now opens you to the possibility of loving God with your whole self. Seeing the way God loves the real you should invite you to love and accept yourself even more. And loving yourself will make you a be er lover of your neighbors. This pa ern is the core of God's work to conform us to the likeness of Christ for the sake of others. con nued

4 We have created three guidebooks - Sacred Pathways, The Enneagram, and Spiritual Gi s - to help those ready to explore the unknown. Each of these programs is intended to help you move ahead on your journey of awareness. Sacred Pathways will help you become aware of how you best know and love God. The Enneagram will help you become aware of ways to know and love yourself. And Spiritual Gi s will help you become aware of what mo vates you to know and love others. These booklets are short and are not intended to answer all of your ques ons. In fact they may only give you more ques ons. Hopefully what you discover in them will prompt you to take your me and go deeper along their paths. And since there are many people like you in our congrega on using these guidebooks, we hope that you will find traveling companions - others with whom you can discuss and grow together. May you find peace and joy on your journey with Jesus Christ. May you find that loving God with all you are is true life. And may you become more and more like Jesus for the sake of others through careful and pa ent communion with the Holy Spirit. the FPC Spiritual Formation Team

5 How to Use this Guidebook: This booklet is a brief introduc on to the Enneagram. It is meant to get your journey underway. Upon reading this booklet you may begin to discover your enneagram type. You may also iden fy some prac ces that are helpful to your spiritual growth. But the booklet is simply a companion to a much larger body of informa on on this insigh ul tool. We recommend star ng with The Essen al Enneagram: The Defini ve Personality Test and Self-Discovery Guide by David Daniels and Virginia Price. The cost for the book is about $13. Since the book is a bit interac ve, readers may find the paperback version more useful and easier to navigate than a Kindle version. If you have difficulty finding this book, contact the church office or begin with any of the other resources listed at the end of this booklet. Or just Google 'enneagram'... you'll find oceans of informa on to explore. A note on that... the Enneagram is an open source study. While many authors have done scien fic work standardizing enneagram assessment tests, work on the Enneagram is not limited to psychological research. It has many applica ons and a wide variety of contributors to its bank of wisdom. Therefore, the Enneagram is not exclusively a Chris an resource. In fact, researchers are unsure of its origin. We understand that this may be an obstacle for some Chris ans. Followers of Jesus Christ studying the Enneagram will want to allow the Holy Spirit to guide them to the Truth that can be found here. The first step in moving toward wholeness in Christ is to become more fully aware of the person you were created to be. We think you will find the Enneagram to be a wonderful tool through which the Spirit of God can begin this work. God bless you on your journey.

6

7 What is the Enneagram? Don Riso has defined the Enneagram as "a geometric figure that delineates the nine basic personality types of human nature and their complex interrela onships. David Daniels says it is a powerful and dynamic personality system that describes nine dis nct and fundamentally different pa erns of thinking, feeling, and ac ng. 'Ennea' is Greek for nine, and 'gram' means a figure or something wri en. Hence, the Enneagram personality system is represented by a diagram of a nine pointed star within a circle. While the Enneagram suggests that there are nine basic human personality types, there are many varia ons within the nine root categories. That being said, the asser on of Enneagram theory is that these nine adequately map out the territory of personality types. The Enneagram symbol also demonstrates how the nine types relate to each other. This aspect of the Enneagram offers a system for understanding yourself and the people you deal with. The Enneagram is a helpful tool because it acts as a kind of mirror to reveal features of your personality that may normally be invisible to you. Most of the me, people func on as if on automa c pilot, stuck in the pa ern of their basic personality type. People can get along well enough in their lives with these habitual pa erns. But when their normal rou nes break down or the stresses of their lives increase too much, their normal way of coping also tends to break down or become dysfunc onal. Seeing clearly what our habitual pa erns are seeing what we are doing and why we are doing it, and at what cost to ourselves and others can be the first step to iden fying where growth toward wholeness in Christ begins.

8 Each type has its own unique blend of crea ve abundance. At its fullest, the Enneagram invites you to look deeply into the mystery of your true iden ty. It reveals that you are not only your broken personality, but something more a human being who is becoming whole in Christ. Living out of this realiza on shi s completely how you see yourself, others, and the world, bringing freedom and joy. Taking tests can be helpful as a way of eliminating most of the possibilities fairly quickly, Riso says. Then, you must read the descriptions carefully and do some observation. The point of the Enneagram is to help you to become better a selfobserver, not just to find some sort of new psychological label for yourself. With self-awareness you can be free of old, self- destructive patterns. You will find bits of yourself in all nine types but when you find your root type, it should come as a revelation, a relief, an embarrassment, a welcome home, and an invitation to see yourself in an entirely new way. By using the Enneagram as a guide to observing yourself from moment to moment and from day to day, you will have a method of personal development that will eventually be personally and spiritually transforma ve.

9 The Nine Enneagram Types: There are many descriptors for each of the nine types. The following list will serve only as a brief introduc on. Readers will want to use an assessment such as the one in The Essen al Enneagram to more clearly iden fy their types. Type 1 The Perfec onist Perfec onists believe they must be good and right to be worthy. Consequently, Perfec onists are conscien ous, responsible, improvement-oriented and self-controlled, but also can be cri cal, resen ul and self-judging. Focus of A en on What is right or wrong, correct or incorrect. Life Lesson To change what can be changed, to accept what cannot be changed, and to develop the wisdom to know the difference. What Type Ones tell us about themselves I live with a powerful inner cri c that monitors my thoughts, words and deeds. I strive for perfec on and feel responsible for making things right. I focus on being good while represen ng my impulses and desires for pleasure. I get angry when important rules and standards are ignored or violated. I seek love and approval from others by being good and right. con nued

10 Rela ng to Ones Take their concerns seriously. Respect their integrity. Be responsible and honor your agreements. Admit your mistakes. Recognize that Ones are especially sensi ve to cri cism. For Ones, take a moment to reflect on the following principles: There is nothing to correct or improve; everything is perfect as it is. Differences are a natural part of life. We are all inherently worthy. Self-forgiveness and compassion bring inner peace. Serenity comes from being at ease with imperfec on, le ng go of judgments and accep ng things the way they are.

11 Type 2 The Giver Givers believe you must give fully to others to be loved. Consequently, Givers are caring, helpful, suppor ve and rela onship-oriented; they also can be prideful, intrusive and demanding. Focus of a en on Others' needs, feelings and desires. Life lesson To develop the humility that comes from allowing yourself to be loved without being needed and to have needs of your own. What Type Twos tell us about themselves I am preoccupied with the needs of others. I take pride in giving and helping. I some mes feel that people take advantage of me. I have a hard me expressing my own needs. I can be manipula ve and alter how I present myself to others. Rela ng to Twos Step forward to make contact; offer approval or apprecia on when possible. Stay constant and provide steadiness, paying a en on to their needs. Join them in valuing warmth, personal contact and partnership. Avoid being cri cal or not taking them seriously. Head off outbursts by addressing their dissa sfac on or resentment. For Twos, take a moment to reflect on the following principles: Love does not come from giving and ge ng it is found in oneself. Allowing others to give to us is a gi to them. At first, separateness can feel like loss or pain. We are all responsible for ourselves. Joy can be found in others' well-being and happiness, separate from what we do for them.

12 Type 3 The Performer Performers believe you must accomplish and succeed to be loved. Consequently, Performers are industrious, fast-paced, efficient and goal-oriented; they also can be ina en ve to feelings, impa ent and image-driven. Focus of a en on Tasks, goals and recogni on for accomplishments. Life lesson To reclaim the truth that love comes to you because of who you are, not because of what you do. What Type Threes tell us about themselves I iden fy with accomplishment and success. My image drives my need to work hard and look good. I seek approval and acceptance based on performance. I am highly compe ve and love winning. I feel constant pressure to perform. Rela ng to Threes Let them know that you care regardless of their accomplishments. Encourage them to pay a en on to feelings. Show and tell them what is really important to you. Express your apprecia on for what they do. Join them in being ac ve, ge ng results and earning recogni on. For Threes, take a moment to reflect on the following principles: Our innate value does not depend on how others see us. Feelings are a natural part of life. Love comes from being as well as from doing. Failures can be opportuni es for learning and growth. Everything is not dependent on our efforts when we slow down and let things be, we can be truly present for ourselves and others.

13 Type 4 The Roman c Roman cs believe you can regain the lost ideal love or perfect state by finding the love or situa on that is unique, special and fulfilling. Consequently, Roman cs are idealis c, deeply feeling, empathe c and authen c; they also can be drama c, moody and some mes self-absorbed. Focus of a en on What is missing. Life lesson To reclaim wholeness in the present moment by apprecia ng what is here and now, feeling the experience in their bodies rather than over-indulging in the story of what' s happening, and accep ng yourself as you are without needing to be special or unique. What Type Fours tell us about themselves I long for what' s missing, distant or una ainable the ordinary pales in comparison. My deep sense of abandonment translates into a belief that I will never be fulfilled. I envy and idealize what others have that I don' t. Authen city and meaningful experiences are essen al to me. My suffering sets me apart from others. Rela ng to Fours Appreciate their emo onal sensi vity, crea vity and idealism. Reveal your own feelings and reac ons; avoid being overly ra onal. When they are upset, don' t take everything they say too literally since they may be expressing a momentary feeling. Return to the present and be posi ve while acknowledging their experience of what is missing. Seek to understand and empathize without necessarily agreeing. con nued

14 For Fours, take a moment to reflect on the following principles: Wholeness already exists, here in the present moment. Emo onal intensity isn' t necessary for emo onal fulfillment. One' s value is inherent it does not come from being special. When we focus on what' s missing, we miss out on apprecia ng what we have. Cul va ng the happiness of others helps us overcome envy and longing.

15 Type 5 Observer Observers believe they must protect themselves from a world that demands too much and gives too li le. Consequently, Observers seek self-sufficiency and are non-demanding, analy c, though ul and unobtrusive; they also can be withholding, detached and overly private. Focus of a en on Intellectual understanding, accumula ng knowledge, and poten al intrusions from others' agendas, needs and feelings. Life lesson To reconnect to the vitality of your life force and your hear elt feelings, realizing that ample energy and resources are available. What Type Fives tell us about themselves I have a strong need for privacy. I limit intrusion from a world that wants too much from me. I hoard me, space, energy, knowledge and myself. I detach from feelings and observe rather than par cipate. I am a minimalist. Rela ng to Fives Respect their need for privacy (understanding this is not rejec on). Make it safe for them to share themselves, especially their feelings, giving them the space needed to do so. Approach them slowly and though ully, and avoid pressuring them for immediate contact or fast decisions. Join them in talking about ideas and valuing the inner life. Don' t make assump ons about what' s going on with them. Ask them for direct communica on. For Fives, take a moment to reflect on the following principles: Le ng go of a achment relieves suffering. A rich life means embracing the full range of human experience. Being present and engaged with others expands our available resources. Generosity includes receiving as well as giving. Knowledge is more than gathering facts and ideas; true wisdom comes from within.

16 Type 6 Loyal Skep c Loyal Skep cs believe you must gain certainty and security in a hazardous world that you just can' t trust. Consequently, Loyal Skep cs are intui ve, inquisi ve, trustworthy, good friends and problem-solvers, but also can be doub ul, accusatory and fearful. Focus of a en on What could go wrong, worst-case scenarios and how to deal with them. Life lesson To reclaim trust in yourself, others and the world, and live comfortably with uncertainty. What Type Sixes tell us about themselves I am preoccupied with safety and security concerns. I greet everything with a doub ng mind and contrary thinking. My vigilance, ac ve imagina on and intui on help me an cipate and avoid problems. I ques on authority and people un l they gain my trust. I procras nate because I fear making the wrong decision. Rela ng to Sixes Be consistent and trustworthy. Disclose your own personal feelings and thoughts. Appreciate their a en on to problems; agree on rules and procedures. Join them in acknowledging what can go wrong before moving ahead. Put your cards on the table as much as possible don' t be ambiguous. For Sixes, take a moment to reflect on the following principles: Insecurity is part of life. Flight, fight and freezing are all reac ons to fear. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is moving ahead in spite of it. When we relax our vigilance and stay in the present moment, we no ce that everything is ok. When we cul vate faith rather than seeking certainty, we begin to trust in the process of life.

17 Type 7 The Epicure Epicures believe you must stay upbeat and keep your possibili es open to assure a good life. Consequently, Epicures seek pleasurable op ons and are op mis c and adventurous; they also avoid pain, and can be uncommi ed and self-serving. Focus of a en on Mul ple op ons and idealized future plans. Life lesson To reclaim and accept all of life, the pleasures and the pains, in the present moment What Type Sevens tell us about themselves Life is an adventure! I seek pleasure and have an insa able appe te for new experiences. I am op mis c, ac ve and energe c. I see mul ple op ons, but have difficulty with commitment. I do not like limits and avoid boredom. Rela ng to Sevens Join them in having fun and envisioning new possibili es. Appreciate their stories and posi ve ideas. Let them know what you want or need from them. Support them to move into painful situa ons and commitments. Listen to their sugges ons and avoid insis ng on one way of doing things. For Sevens, take a moment to reflect on the following principles: Uncomfortable or nega ve emo ons are an integral, valuable and unavoidable part of being human. No cing hunger for s mula on and gra fica on is a reminder to return to the present. When we stay on the surface, we miss the depth of experience and pleasure. Feedback and cri cism are opportuni es for learning and growth. There is a difference between a real feeling and the idea of a feeling.

18 Type 8 The Protector Protectors believe you must be strong and powerful to assure protec on and regard in a tough world. Consequently, Protectors seek jus ce and are direct, strong and ac on-oriented; they also can be overly impact-ful, excessive and impulsive. Focus of a en on Injus ce, not being controlled by others, and ge ng things moving in work or play. Life lesson To harness the life force in produc ve ways, integra ng self-asser on with vulnerability. What Type Eights tell us about themselves I thrive on having lots of energy in my body and enthusiasm for life. I am strong and protect the weak. I am direct, willing to confront when the need arises, and express my anger immediately. People see me as aggressive, in mida ng, intense and impulsive. I have trouble staying with my own vulnerability and sad feelings. I have a strong sense of knowing what is fair or right in my body center. Rela ng to Eights Be direct and forthright, yet flexible and open. Stay steady and present in the face of confronta on and conflict; hold your ground. Call them on destruc ve or threatening behavior, while being empathe c to their underlying hurt feelings. Express your own feelings, including so er, tender ones. Join them in ge ng things moving in work or play. For Eights, take a moment to reflect on the following principles: Truth resides in opposites and differences. True mastery includes non-ac on and no blame. The mundane, the moderate and the mild have their own virtues. Vulnerability is not the same as weakness. True power comes from the appropriate or propor onal applica on of force.

19 Type 9 The Mediator Mediators believe that to be loved and valued, you must blend in and go with the flow. Consequently, Mediators seek harmony and are inclusive, amiable, easygoing, comfortable and steady; they also can be self-forge ng, conflict-avoidant and stubborn. Focus of a en on Other people' s agendas and the external environment. Life lesson To reclaim yourself and wake up to personal priori es. What Type Nines tell us about themselves As a harmonizer, I can see all sides to every issue. I avoid conflict and want a comfortable solu on. I have difficulty saying no and can get resen ul later for agreeing to something I don' t want to do. I am ambivalent or unsure about my own needs and wants. It' s much easier to go along with others than to rock the boat. Rela ng to Nines Ask them what they want and need, and give them me to discern the answer. Avoid coming on too strong, ge ng impa ent or crea ng pressure. If you sense they are reluctant or unsure about something they said yes to or agreed to do, let them know that it' s ok to say no. Encourage them to determine their priori es and support them to take ac on Stay present to them when they are angry. Share body-based ac vi es such as walking, exercising, cooking or ea ng. For Nines, take a moment to reflect on the following principles: Right ac on comes from valuing ourselves as we value others. Knowing what we don' t want can help us know what we do want. Self-worth is self-defined; it comes from within. Every complaint contains a hidden want, wish, need or desire. Conflict is an unavoidable part of being human.

20

21 Seven Tools for Personal Growth: To use the Enneagram for personal growth, we need more than interes ng informa on about the nine types. This map of the soul can become useful for us only when we combine it with key personal growth techniques in rela onship with the Holy Spirit. These are a few of the steps recommended by Don Riso. 1. Seeking Truth If we are interested in personal growth, no element is more important than developing a love of truth. Seeking the truth in Christ means being curious about what is going on in ourselves and around us. The Enneagram can be a tool to show us ourselves. 2. "Not Doing" The process of spiritual growth some mes seems paradoxical because we speak of struggle and effort as well as of allowing, accep ng, and le ng go. O en the resolu on of these apparent opposites lies in the concept of "not doing." When the Enneagram shows us our tendencies and impulses, not ac ng on those impulses creates openings through which we can catch glimpses of what we are really up to. 3. Willing to be Open Life is a tremendous gi, but most of us are missing it because we are watching a "mental movie" of our lives instead. The Enneagram helps bring awareness to our real lives. As we learn to trust in the moment and to value awareness, we learn how to turn off the internal movie projector and start living a much more interes ng life. 4. Ge ng Proper Support The more support we have for our personal development, the easier our process will be. We can find groups, a end workshops, and put ourselves in se ngs that foster our real development. Ge ng support also entails structuring our days in ways that leave room for the things that nurture our souls. Both finding suppor ve friends and discovering nurturing prac ces unique to you is made possible through work with the Enneagram.

22 5. Learning from Everything Once we have involved ourselves in the process of personal growth, we understand that whatever is occurring in the present moment is what we need to deal with right now. Staying with our real experience of ourselves and our situa on will teach us exactly what we need to know for growth. And the Enneagram can give confidence to stay when our tendency will be to run away. 6. Cul va ng a Real Love of Self It has been said many mes that we cannot love others if we do not love ourselves. But what does this mean? We must love ourselves enough not to abandon ourselves and we abandon ourselves to the degree that we are not fully present to our own lives. True love of self also entails a profound acceptance of ourselves. It is also aided by seeking the company of people who possess some degree of this quality themselves. Those who study the Enneagram together find ways to affirm and support each other in love. 7. Having a Prac ce Most spiritual teachings stress the importance of some kind of prac ce, be it medita on, prayer, relaxa on, or movement. Eventually, we understand that every me we engage in our prac ce we learn something new, and every me we neglect our prac ce we miss an opportunity to allow our lives to be transformed. Along with our regular daily prac ce, life presents us with many opportuni es to see our personality in ac on and to allow our essen al nature to come forth and transform our personality.

23 What to Do When You Have Discovered Your Type Remember these Three Laws of Behavior Wherever your pa ern of a en on and energy go, your behavior follows. To change your behavior requires self-observa on. This means paying a en on to your pa erns and where you direct your energy (or 'why' you direct your energy the way you do). Although self-observa on becomes easier as you prac ce it, it never becomes habitual. Self-observa on requires con nuing prac ce. Pay a en on to the Three Centers of Intelligence The Heart Center - If you are a Heart Center type - Two, Three, or Four - you tend to perceive the world through the filter of emo onal intelligence. You stay a uned to the mood and feeling state in others in order to maintain your feeling of connec on with them. The Head Center - If you are a Head Center type - Five, Six, or Seven - you tend to filter the world through the mental facul es. The goals of this strategy are to minimize anxiety, to manage poten ally painful situa ons, and to gain a sense of certainty through the mental processes of analyzing, envisioning, imagining, and planning. The Body Center - If you are a Body Center type - Eight, Nine, or One - you tend to filter the world through an intelligence of kinesthe c and physical sensa ons and gut ins nct. You use personal posi on and power to make life be the way you sense it should be. Find me through the week to reflect on the following ques ons: Given my lead center of intelligence, how did I cul vate all three centers of intelligence today? Based on my reflec on, what quali es of each center of intelligence do I need to cul vate tomorrow? con nued

24 Explore Prac ces Suited for Your Type Two resources that can be helpful to finding prac ces that compliment your type and help you to move toward wholeness: The Essen al Enneagram by David Daniels and Virginia Price. Harper Collins, (Pages 83 to 110). An Invita on to a Journey by M. Robert Mulholland. InterVarsity, (Chapter 5). Ques ons for Reflec on 1. I think my primary Enneagram Type is: 2. The strengths of this type may be: 3. The challenges of this type may be: 4. I would like to learn more about: 5. My next step to exploring the Enneagram or self-observa on is: Calling Lab Once you have completed these three guidebooks, we invite you to experience our Calling Lab. This begins with an interview with someone trained to help you hear the call of God for your life. The story of your life told to someone trained to listen filters out the clu er that distracts from really hearing the call of God. We hope this interview will be a giant step toward finding your place in the work of God. Maybe you will join a work already in progress. Or perhaps the world is wai ng for you to start something fresh and new that will welcome others into the mission of God's love. A er comple ng this guidebook, let us know what you think! Contact Dan Snyder Pastor of Spiritual Forma on dan@fpclive.org

25 For more informa on on the Enneagram The Essen al Enneagram: The Defini ve Personality Test and Self-Discovery Guide. David Daniels, M.D. and Virginia Price, Ph.D. Harper Collins, The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types. Donald Richard Riso and Russ Hudson. Bantam, The Enneagram: A Chris an Perspec ve. Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert. Crossroad Publishing, The Enneagram and Grace (Audio Recording). Richard Rohr and Russ Hudson. Center for Ac on and Contempla on, Resources available online: The Enneagram in the Narra ve Tradi on h p:// This site features the work of David Daniels, Helen Palmer and several other leading Enneagram teachers. This site offers an assessment test for $10 that can be taken many mes a er payment. Helpful video vigne es are available within the test to hear stories of people who have discovered their type. The Enneagram Ins tute: Enneagram Teaching, Research, Development and Applica on. h p:// tute.com This is the home site of Don Riso and Russ Hudson, two of the leading teachers and developers of the Enneagram system in the world today. Free online test is available as well as a more thorough $10 version which also grants you access to newsle ers and workshops resources. Many helpful resources and ar cles for serious explora on and learning. continued

26 Interna onal Enneagram Associa on h p:// onalenneagram.org This site is a good place to find workshops, teachers and groups that are studying the Enneagram around the world. Richard Rohr has recently been featured at a conference sponsored by IEA. Richard Rohr: Video Introduc on to Enneagram h ps:// (5:01) Agnes Lau, Singapore's leading Enneagram Personality Profiling Trainer h ps:// 7zw_EQk&list=PL7A4632DB123B8A37 Agnes was personally trained by Don Riso and Russ Hudson. This is an eight lecture series she gives on the Enneagram. While not a Chris an perspec ve, a very clear presenta on of the Enneagram system.

27

28 First Presbyterian Church 140 E Orange St Lancaster, PA