THE CHALICE. UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP OF THE RAPPAHANNOCK (UUFR-VA) P.O. Box 1266 White Stone, VA October Fellowship Services

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1 THE CHALICE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP OF THE RAPPAHANNOCK (UUFR-VA) P.O. Box 1266 White Stone, VA October 2011 Fellowship Services Fellowship services are held each Sunday at 10:30 A.M. at 366 James Wharf Road, White Stone, VA. All are welcome. Coffee and conversation follow the presentation. Sunday Programs October 2 Eric Jensen: The Interdependent Web of All Existence: The spiritual diaspora of Native American peoples and the toll from being unconnected in today s cyber reality 9:30 Meditation: Diana Jamison A cyber and telecommunications view of where our First American communities stand today, and the urgency of mediating traditional mores with living and participating in the commerce of the other America. How the inherent worth and dignity of every Native person and justice, equity, and compassion in human relationships are tested every day in Native America. October 9 Rev. Alane Cameron Miles: Courage 9:30 Meditation: Eva Abel Although often defined in militaristic terms, how can gentle courage guide our lives? How much of our own unintentionally aggressive behavior stems from our fear? Could a more courageous society lead to a more peaceful society? October 16 Dr. Hussam Timani: An Overview of Islam 9:30 Meditation: Bob Weekley Dr. Timani will provide an overview of the faith, beliefs, and practices of Islam. Emphasis will be on the Qur an and hadith (the tradition of the Prophet Muhammad), Islamic law (Shari a), Islamic theology (Kalam), women in Islam, the historical and theological developments of the Sunni and Shi i sects, and Islam in America. The monthly Potluck Luncheon will follow the service. October 23 Workshop: Common Ground 9:30 Meditation: Eve Jordan The UUFR-VA will present a one-day workshop designed to celebrate our diversity, discover what we have in common, recognize significant trends in the US, and envision our shared future. Look for further details on page 2 of The Chalice.. 1

2 October 30 The Northern Neck Society of Friends: An Introduction to the Quakers 9:30 Meditation: Bob Weekley Unitarian Universalists and Quakers share much in common. There are also differences that distinguish us from each other. Join us for a short presentation on the history and background of the Society of Friends. The majority of our time will be a question and answer period. Several Friends will be joining us. They will serve as a panel to answer questions you might have about the Society of Friends. This is your chance to discover how Quakers are like Unitarian Universalists and how they are not. Both UUFR-VA and the Northern Neck Society of Friends are small lay-led congregations. Both are concerned with issues of Social Justice. Both groups are involved in giving to the community. Common Ground by Cliff Schelling On October 23 rd, we will celebrate our diversity and discover our common ground. Instead of our usual service, Caroline Shifflett, David Rowden, Fran Schelling, and I will host a fun get-together from 10:30 A.M. to 5:00 P.M.. Lunch will be included. The agenda will begin with a visual and musical display of our community s past and move to an exploration of our present and future. We will build off our experience with the Electronic Forum and Socrates Café and share our experiences of fellowship. It will be a colorful, visual exploration of what brings us together. Bill Gurley and perhaps some other friends of the Fellowship will join us for part of the day to help us see ourselves more clearly. Bill Gurley will play during lunch. A Wizard of Oz theme will guide us down the yellow brick road, enabling us to see our future and act on common ground enhanced by our differences. President s Corner Got Religion? The President of the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations, Rev. Peter Morales, has a challenging piece in the Association s magazine, entitled Get Religion. What? I came to UU to escape religion, some would say. The very word, religion, stirs up images and emotions not all positive. So is Rev. Morales trying to stir up emotions? Just what does he mean by get religion? Negativity towards the word religion often comes from the history of the misuse of religion wars fought in the name of religion, peoples oppressed or persecuted in the name of religion, and even discrimination in the name of religion. The so-called culture wars in the United States today are based on religious beliefs that some hold for example, that the government should decide life and death issues for women, or that people who want to commit to a same-sex family relationship should be denied the benefits and rights that others have. Many people have borne an oppressive load of guilt to which they attribute religious teaching. Rev. Morales sees religion more broadly. He points out that religion deals with life s core struggles and humanity s most profound questions about life s meaning. He goes on to explain that our religion is about what we love passionately, about how we aspire to live, about what moves us at the center of our being. Religion s source is our experience of being loved, of loving, of belonging, of feeling awe, and of feeling connected to all creation It is through the practice of our religion that we create community, that we strengthen the bonds that sustain us, and that we build compassionate connection to the wider world. We need not equate religion with dogma, with superstition, or with judging others by whether they profess to believe and by how observant they are. We UUs base our religion, if we choose to call it that, on our acceptance of the inherent worth and dignity of every person; justice, equity, and compassion in human relations; acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth; and respect for the interdependent web of all existence. If that is getting religion, call it what you will, I m all for it. Bob Weekley 2

3 Phood and Philosophy Cliff and Fran Schelling will host this month s Phood and Philosophy, our monthly potluck and discussion, in their home, on Saturday, October 1 st, at 5:30 P.M. Please bring a hat, and a story that goes with that hat, so that we might get to know you better. This promises to be truly a fun-filled, hat-centric evening. Please join us. Attendees are encouraged to park on the bocce court side of the driveway Please contact Cliff or Fran so they can be sure to have enough chairs, etc. Plan to bring a dish and a bottle of wine to share for a lovely evening and lively conversation. Circle of Life by Fran Schelling The "Circle of Life" group will be meeting October 4th at the UUFR-VA building at 7:00 P.M. The topic for discussion will be So Much Depends Upon? Come join a very introspective and fun group. Budget Time October means our annual budget activity gets underway. Here s how our budget system works: By October 23 rd, all committees and spending centers need to provide to the Finance Committee their 2012 financial requirements, including how those funds will be spent. In early November, there will be a special budget discussion meeting that all interested members are invited to attend. The Board, at its regular November meeting, will zero in on a proposed budget for That proposal will be distributed to the membership at the Annual Congregational Meeting on December 11 th. Additional congregational comments to the Board will be considered until the January Board meeting at which the Board approves the 2012 budget. Please encourage your committee to make their 2012 financial needs known by October 23 rd. Thanks. Your Finance Committee: Barbara Haynes, Chair, MJ Anderson, Tom Foster, Paula Greenwood, Tom Kinney, Lynn Langley, Marge Rowden Curious? by Shirley Kinney Have you been curious about what Imagine That!, our UUFR-VA art group, has been creating? On October 16 th, you can find out. There will be a display of the group s art work in our building s foyer for you to admire. It may also be a terrific opportunity to do some early Christmas shopping for yourself, your family, and your friends. A wide range of prices and tastes will be available. Some of Imagine That! s work is offered for sale on Etsy, an online site for handmade art. (Check it out at We are asking more for our art online, but on October 16 th you can purchase it at a discounted price. Such a deal! And, once you see what great work is being created here at UUFR-VA, perhaps you will consider joining our group and having lots of fun creating work yourself. For more information, contact Shirley Kinney. 3

4 Using Fellowship Facilities by Cliff Hemming Close Call. Witnessing this example of Hurricane Irene s wrath caused Bob Weekley to ask: Is there a supernatural explanation for this? Doing UU Good by Tom Kinney UUFR-VA was among only five congregations honored at the annual district meeting for outstanding participation (nearly 75%) in the Southeast District (SED) Chalice Lighters Program. As we continue to grow, only help from our new members can keep us ahead of the game. But honors are only peripheral. What really counts is what we are accomplishing through Chalice Lighters. What a Difference $15 Can Make! Two or three times each year, your fellow UU s write a check to the Chalice Lighters in response to a letter describing the need. Why? They enjoy the good feeling that comes from supporting new UU congregations or helping existing congregations grow. SED Chalice Lighters in our 70 congregations in GA, SC, NC, TN, and VA have combined their $15 or $20 in contributions to help 38 congregations grow over the last 22 years. Fifteen dollars isn t much, but combined with over a thousand others in the SED, we have created a very successful program to support new congregations and pump up congregations that want to grow. And if that isn t enough of a reason, $25,000 came to UUFR-VA from Chalice Lighters which made it possible for our Home of Our Own to include the extra meeting room for Religious Education and all of the special safety and barrier-free provisions that make our facility accessible to all. Good turns deserve good turns. If you are not already in on this special pleasure, see me, your UUFR-VA Chalice Lighter Coordinator, and sign-up. Let s try for 100%! The Fellowship building and grounds are typically used for our various functions. Recently, however, with other organizations and individuals wishing to rent the facilities, it s been necessary to develop some new procedures. Of particular importance is the need to schedule the use of the property. Thus, a calendar of activities using the building is now available on the internet at uufr-va.org. This calendar shows the activity, time, and user of the facility. Activities that don't use the facilities, such as the Women's Luncheon, are not shown. To request use of the facilities, access the calendar. Check to be sure the time you want is not already scheduled,. Then, click on the Schedule Event link at the top of the calendar. Fill out and submit the form. The request is reviewed, and the event is scheduled if the building is available. Be sure to fill out the form completely, including your address, name, and phone number. When scheduled, you will receive either a confirmation or an indication of a problem. If you re unable to complete the form on-line, call Cliff Hemming and leave a message with the necessary information: event name, your name, phone number, dates and times for the event, and if you need the Fellowship Hall or meeting room or all of the building. Renters are assumed to need the entire building and parking. Proposed By-Law Change by Your Finance Committee With our move to a Welcoming Congregation, the UUFR-VA Finance Committee is recommending to the Board of Stewards changes to the bylaws. In the Membership section, the following should be added: This Fellowship is intentionally nondiscriminatory. Thus, membership is open to all persons regardless of ethnicity, color, national origin, gender, gender identity, affectional orientation, age, or disability. Further, since this bylaw changes will be brought before the membership for a vote of approval at the Annual Congregational Meeting on December 11 th, it will also be an opportunity to update the bylaws to reflect the change from the Thomas Jefferson District to the Southeast District. The November Chalice will announce an early November meeting for anyone interested in discussing these bylaw changes, as well as the proposed budget prior to the December vote. 4

5 River Readers The book discussion group meets on the fourth Monday of each month at 2:30 P.M. at the Lancaster Community Library. Everyone is welcome. Please read the book and join us. The upcoming selections are: October 24: Tinkers by Paul Harding November 28: Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese December: No meeting Our Big Book dinner and discussion of The Green House by Mario Vargas Llosa will be at 6:00 P.M. on Wednesday, October 12 th, at the Indian Creek Yacht and Country Club. Please plan to join us for a fun evening and let Elaine Weekley know you re coming. We re always on the lookout for a noteworthy book which would generate a lively discussion. If you have a recommendation, please call or title to Elaine Weekley. We will be choosing books at the next meeting. Socrates Café by Cliff Schelling Our second meeting will begin at 7:00 P.M. on Thursday, October 13 th, at UUFR-VA. The topic will be What is justice? Future topics, dates, and times will be decided by the participants. Please bring an open mind and topics you would like to discuss in the future. Civilization is a response to the question How can we live well together? and is at risk in an environment dominated by ignorance, fear, hate, and polarized thinking. Socrates Café can be a path to becoming the informed and rational thinkers which democracy demands. It is a community-creating process dedicated to an open, honest, respectful exchange of ideas about the issues that are important to our selves and to our communities. The purpose of Socrates Café is to help each of us to better understand why we believe what we believe, and how we can contribute to improving our communities. Discussions are guided by the ideas of Socrates: that we learn more by asking questions than by giving answers, and the more we listen to the ideas of others, the more clearly we come to understand our own thinking. So, what s the difference between Circle of Life (formerly called Covenant Group) and Socrates Café? It s the difference between heart and head. Circle of Life focuses on the UU principle regarding acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth and creates a trusting environment where participants can experience their own psychological/spiritual depth. Socrates Café focuses on the free and responsible search for truth principle, helping participants become more informed, rational thinkers. In an environment characterized by apathy and anger, it is a necessary quality in short supply. Painting Plein Air Workshop Our own Diana Jamison and Charles VanDenburgh are holding a Painting Plein Air Workshop on October 15 th from 10:00 A.M.to 4:00 P.M.at The Bay Center For Spiritual Development. Several UU Members have expressed an interest in attending this workshop, but were concerned about not being at a sufficient skill level to participate. In an attempt to put attendees at ease, please know that there were several participants in our last workshop who had never before picked up a brush or put paint on a palette or canvas. Not only did they have fun, but also they walked away with a painting that was quite lovely and framable. If this tickles your interest, I hope you will call the Rappahannock Art League ( ) and sign up for the workshop. Per Charles, this exhilarating one-day workshop will cover the essentials of outdoor oil painting, with the aim of helping you develop your skills at capturing a realistic image quickly and confidently. The day will begin with a painting demo by the instructor and explanation of each step in the painting process. Emphasized will be color accuracy, simplifying the subject matter, brushwork, edges, and composition, as well as materials. There will be plenty of individual attention geared to the student s own skill level and style. Expect to finish the day with a completed painting. All skill levels are welcome. A supply list is available. Fee $45. For additional information, contact Diana. 5

6 Who s Who in UU: Judi Caples by Eve Jordan Creativity abounds! Buttons, buttons everywhere! Judi Caples also collects books and more buttons and fabric and glass candlesticks and linens and more and will tell you she is trying to get rid of stuff. Her charming, deceptively small-looking house, named Riversong, is on the Rappahannock on Goat Lane, and all of this fits with a front door painted fuchsia! The house is like stepping out of time, with no TV in sight only an old fashioned sense of comfort and peace and joy. She had a condo in Richmond when she bought this cottage many years ago, using it as a weekend retreat. Living on the water has always been important to Judi, and three years ago, she made this her permanent home. Looking around, there is such a wealth of visual and tactile experience and creativity, and it is no surprise when you learn that one of Judi s great joys is a bargain! She is a great lover of flea markets, yard sales, and estate sales. It is such a passion that she has a booth at Through the Garden Gate (10351 Chamberlayne Road) in Mechanicsville, which allows her to buy and sell stuff and she uses her profits for vacationing since she is now living in her old vacation spot. Judi has spent most of her life on the water. Born in Norfolk, she has lived in Virginia Beach, Driver, and West Point, and at one time lived on a houseboat weekends only. She raised her children in Richmond at Stonewall Manor (the condo is still for sale), and is in Richmond around the second Wednesday of each month for an Investment Club meeting. All members are women, and she has been part of it for 6 seven years. She says that it is fun to be in Richmond for those few days, get a massage, and visit with her 91-year-old mother. Then, she gets to come home. Her children are Tiffany, a successful jewelry designer who lives in Fall River, MA, with a store in Tiverton, RI ( and her son, Brian, a carpenter and budding farmer, with nowmature Easter chicks. He lives in Tiverton, RI. Both children have benefited from Judi s creativity and express their talents in different ways. They even like the weather in the cold, cold North, and have encouraged her to move away from this paradise, but she is resisting so far. After graduation from Longwood College, Judi became a teacher, with breaks-in-service to raise her children and to help start the Parent-Child Development Center (PCDC-1970) in an old convent in West Point. The community served by this program was among the neediest; there were families living in cars and homes where tables were considered luxurious. Funded in part by donations and grants, as well as volunteer service, this program gave preschoolers a better chance for success in school. It also gave mothers or caregivers opportunities to study for GEDs and for strengthening childcare and homemaking skills. Judi taught English and sewing and managed the food program one year. PCDC is still doing its work in King William and surrounding counties. As her children got older, Judi returned to the classroom. She left the school system after 16 years to join the private sector at age 42, where she found pleasure in dressing up for the corporate world! She began in telecommunications with Sovern Bank and retired from the Disaster Recovery Division at Bank of America three years ago. Judi enjoyed hot air ballooning with her children when they were young. In fact, a ballooning friend led her to the bank job. She is a graduate of the Pathwork Transformation Program out of Madison County, VA. When she became a full-time resident of the Northern Neck, she began working at the Lancaster Library as a volunteer at the circulation desk, as well as being a substitute as needed. She is the secretary for the Five Rivers Fiber Guild and will participate in a basketry study group soon. When she joined the UUFR-VA, Judi immediately became an active member:: participating in her Caring Circle, joining the Circle of Life discussions, and, of

7 course, helping with the Annual Yard Sale. She can be counted on when an extra set of hands is needed. Mom and Dad were practicing Protestants. As a young woman she left the family religious practice, only to find she needed structure and guidelines in the Catholic Church, which suited her needs for many years. As her needs changed, she began going to the Unitarian Fellowship in Richmond, and when she moved to Goat Lane, she joined us at UUFR-VA. Here she has felt fellowship and love and caring. Judi describes UUFR-VA as fitting her like a glove. We are so happy that she found us and we have her as part of our family. A New Library Addition by Shirley Kinney She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders, by Jennifer Finney Boylan, has been donated to our UUFR-VA library. This is a very funny memoir of growing up confused and a very smart consideration of what it means to be a woman. It's a story of a person changing genders. By turns hilarious and deeply moving, it explores the territory that lies between men and women, examines changing friendships, and rejoices in the redeeming power of family. Told in Boylan's voice, the book is about a person bearing and finally revealing a complex secret. Through her clear eyes, She's Not There provides a new window on the confounding process of accepting our true selves. I highly recommend this book to all UU's. It is very well written and a joy to read. You'll find it in our UUFR-VA foyer bookshelves. Check it out today! Retreat Invitation Our upcoming UUFR-VA Fall Retreat is in Virginia Beach this year, from Sunday, October 9 th, to Tuesday, October 11 th. There is still time to make your reservations. Please join us as we invite more Joy, Love, and Freedom into our lives! Add your name to the list located in the notebook on the sharing table. And don t forget to call the Seaside Motel at to make your own reservations. Carpools are being organized and will be leaving from UUFR-VA following the Sunday Service on October 9 th. Please sign up to be a driver if you have room for others in your vehicle. Or, if you prefer, sign up to be a passenger. The sign-up sheet for car pooling is with the aforementioned notebook on the sharing table. Plan to check-in at the motel in time to join the group for an ice-breaker in the hotel s atrium at 4:00 P.M. In the spirit of a potluck event, we are asking each participant to bring either wine, beverages, or hors d'oeuvres to share, or desserts for our Sunday and Monday evening gatherings. Financial contributions are also needed in the amount of $60. Some may find this a convenient alternative to bringing food or wine. A sign-up sheet for all of this is also with the same notebook on the sharing table. At the Ice-Breaker, Diana and Devi will provide you with an overview of the weekend events, menus for local restaurants and information on Edgar Cayce s ARE schedule. Eve will make you laugh. Thea will tickle your creative spirit. After the opening social, we will dine together at Murphys s Irish Pub (the only meal scheduled together) and later that evening, on the motel s upper deck, we ll enjoy dessert to the backdrop of ocean waves. Thematic activities are scheduled for Monday and Tuesday, and time has been allotted for exploring Virginia Beach on your own, gathering in small groups, or just having a welldeserved rest. Each participant is invited to share a personal sentiment related to our theme of Joy, Love and Freedom. Please bring a verse or poem, or prepare to tell us a story that will engender or enhance experiences of joy, love, or freedom. Check-out time on Tuesday is 11:00 A.M. The Retreat will conclude that day with lunch and an optional final walk on the beach. Talk to Devi Herrsche or Diana Jamison, the program coordinators, to obtain additional information. 7

8 Board of Stewards Bob Weekley, President Diana Jamison, Vice President Lynn Langley, Treasurer Kathy Duhon, Secretary Tom Kinney, Past President Shirley Kinney, Programs Chair Janet Hemming and Marge Rowden, Membership Co-Chairs Web Site Bob Prescott, Webmaster Newsletter Deadline for articles: 20 th of the month Bob Prescott, Editor 8