PLAGIAT MERUPAKAN TINDAKAN TIDAK TERPUJI

Transcription

1 CARLA S QUEST FOR THE MEANING OF LIFE AS SEEN IN CARLA VAN RAAY S GOD S CALLGIRL A THESIS Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements to Obtain the Sarjana Pendidikan Degree in English Language Education By Dwi Aryani Student Number: ENGLISH LANGUAGE EDUCATION STUDY PROGRAM DEPARTMENT OF LANGUAGE AND ARTS EDUCATION FACULTY OF TEACHERS TRAINING AND EDUCATION SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY YOGYAKARTA 2011

2 CARLA S QUEST FOR THE MEANING OF LIFE AS SEEN IN CARLA VAN RAAY S GOD S CALLGIRL A THESIS Presented as Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements to Obtain the Sarjana Pendidikan Degree in English Language Education By Dwi Aryani Student Number: ENGLISH LANGUAGE EDUCATION STUDY PROGRAM DEPARTMENT OF LANGUAGE AND ARTS EDUCATION FACULTY OF TEACHERS TRAINING AND EDUCATION SANATA DHARMA UNIVERSITY YOGYAKARTA 2011 i

3 PLAGIAT PLAGIATMERUPAKAN MERUPAKANTINDAKAN TINDAKANTIDAK TIDAKTERPUJI TERPUJI

4 PLAGIAT PLAGIATMERUPAKAN MERUPAKANTINDAKAN TINDAKANTIDAK TIDAKTERPUJI TERPUJI

5 You are tempted in the same way that everyone else is tempted. But God can be trusted not to let you be tempted too much, And He will show you to escape from your temptations. (1 Corinthians 10:13) Don t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. (Philippians 4:6) Christ gives me the strength to face anything. (Philippians 4:13) I dedicated this thesis to those who love me: The Almighty God, My lovely parents and family, My dearly loved partner, And all friends iv

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7 PLAGIAT PLAGIATMERUPAKAN MERUPAKANTINDAKAN TINDAKANTIDAK TIDAKTERPUJI TERPUJI

8 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS First of all, I would like to express my gratitude to the Lord Jesus Christ for His great blessing, love and mercy. I thank Him for guiding and giving me those people around me who always love me and support me so that I am able to finish this thesis. My deepest gratitude goes to Drs. L. Bambang Hendarto Y., M.Hum., as my major sponsor for his compassion, willingness, guidance, patience, support, suggestions, and giving me the time to consultation on this thesis until it is done. My sincere gratitude also goes to Sanata Dharma University for giving me a nice place to study. I also express my gratitude to all PBI lecturers and staffs who have devoted their work, valuable knowledge, lessons and experiences during my study in Sanata Dharma University. My next thankfulness goes to Laurentia Sumarni, S.Pd., Theresia Eriska Oktaviani, S.Pd., Drs. Tri Suko Bambang W., M.Hum, and Sasmoyo, S.Pd., who kindly offered me to proofread this thesis. I thank them for their corrections and suggestions for each single page of my thesis. My great thank also goes to V. Ismoyo Jati, S.S. who shared time with me when I found difficulties. I thank Patricia Angelina L., S.Pd. for giving me the syllabus of Short Essay 1. I also thank to Mega Wulandari, S.Pd. for helping me in arranging the teaching material. My deep gratitude goes to my lovely parents, Giyanto and Budi Lestari, for their endless loving care, prayer, and support they have given me every single day of my life. I thank them for the remarkable efforts they make in order to vii

9 educate me. My gratitude also goes to my beloved siblings, Ari Yanto, and Budi Tri Utami for all supports, love, and prayers which have given to me. My special gratitude is dedicated to my dearly loved partner, Priya Begawan Yoga S., who always loves, supports, and grants me a space in his heart. I also thank him for being by my side in my ups and downs and for being there when I needed at the most. I would like to express my special thanks to all my PBI friends, specifically Rita, Silvia, Nina, Tutik, Yuni, Yanu, and Dhion who have been very supportive to me. It was great to spend the years with them. My great thankfulness also goes to my lovely cousin Siswanto, S.S whose morning and midnight short messages had burnt my spirit to complete this thesis. I also thank him for the remarkable ideas shared to me. Further, I would like to express my gratitude to Reta, Rina, Indri, Sari, Aline, Nana, Jati, and Rini for being my friends who had shared in the same struggle to finish this thesis. It was great to keep asking our thesis progress to each other. I would also like to thank a parking guard of Sanata Dharma University in Kota Baru, for telling me whether the lecturer was present or not every time I would like to have consultation on my thesis. I also thank him for drawing smiles on my face with his greeting. There are many other people whom I cannot mention here one by one, but surely, I cannot complete this thesis without their helps and supports. God bless them all. Dwi Aryani viii

10 TABLE OF CONTENTS TITLE PAGE... APPROVAL PAGES... STATEMENT OF WORK S ORIGINALITY... i ii iv LEMBAR PERNYATAAN PERSETUJUAN PUBLIKASI KARYA ILMIAH... ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS... PAGE OF DEDICATION... TABLE OF CONTENTS... ABSTRACT... ABSTRAK... v vi viii ix xiii xiv CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION... 1 A. Background of the Study... 1 B. Problem Formulation... 4 C. Objectives of the Study... 4 D. Benefit of the Study... 4 E. Definition of Terms... 5 CHAPTER II: REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE... 8 A. Review of Related Studies Character... 8 a. Definition of Character... 9 ix

11 b. Kinds of Character Characterization a. Definition of Characterization b. Methods of Characterization Critical Approach Logotherapy a. Base of Logotherapy b. Processes of Finding the Meaning of Life c. Failures of Finding the Meaning of Life Success in Finding the Meaning of Life B. Theoretical Framework CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY A. Object of the Study B. Approach of the Study C. Method of the Study CHAPTER IV DISCUSSION A. The Description of Carla Self-reproachful Naive Introverted Vengeful x

12 5. Open-minded B. Carla s Quest for the Meaning of Life Carla s Struggle to Find the Meaning of Life a. Being a Good Child for her Parents b. Being a Good Nun for God c. Being God s Callgirl Carla s Failure to Find the Meaning of Life a. The Failure of Being a Good Child for her Parents b. The Failure of Being a Good Nun for God c. The Failure of Being God s Callgirl Carla s Finding the Meaning of Life CHAPTER V: CONCLUSIONS AND SUGGESTIONS A. Conclusions B. Suggestions Suggestion for Future Researchers Suggestion for Teaching Learning Activities Using Literary Works 57 REFERENCES APPENDICES A. Summary of the Novel B. Biography of the Author xi

13 C. Lesson Plan for Teaching Short Essay I D. Materials xii

14 ABSTRACT Aryani, Dwi Carla s Quest for the Meaning of Life as Seen in Carla Van Raay s God s Callgirl. Yogyakarta: English Language Education Study Program, Sanata Dharma University. This study analyses God s Callgirl, a novel written by Carla Van Raay. The novel pictures the author s memoir. This novel is worth analyzing since it tells about a human being s life journey as reflected through a viewpoint of a girl struggling to find the meaning of life. The analysis focuses on how Carla, the main character of the novel, quest for the meaning of life. In order to achieve the goal, two problems are discussed in this study. Firstly, it deals with Carla s portrayal as revealed in the novel. Secondly, it deals with her quest for the meaning of life, which is divided into three sections namely her struggle, her failure, and her finding the meaning of her life. This study employed library research. The primary source was the novel itself. The secondary sources were books on psychology and literary theories, and internet sources which provided supporting data for this analysis. This study used theory of character and characterization to analyze the first problem and employs theory of logotherapy to discuss the second problem. It also applied the psychological approach since it concerns with the study of the mind and it influences one s behaviour pattern. Based on the analysis, Carla is portrayed as self-reproachful, naive, introverted, vengeful, and open minded. Those characteristics are revealed through character as seen by others, her speeches, her reactions, and her thoughts. Furthermore, the analysis shows that there are three ways how Carla shows her will to find the meaning of life. Firstly, it deals with her struggle to be a good child for her parents. Secondly, it deals with her struggle to be a good nun for God. Thirdly, it deals with her struggle to be God s Callgirl. Unfortunately, Carla fails to find the meaning of life through those ways. Therefore, Carla carries out other ways to find the meaning of life. Carla leaves her work as prostitute to be a writer. Moreover, Carla attends to therapy programs for healing herself. In her struggle, Carla finally finds the meaning of life. It is suggested that for the future researcher(s) to conduct analysis on the influence of sexual abuse on Carla s life. It is also possible to analyze the meaning of becoming God s Callgirl for Carla. The use of this novel as the source for teaching writing is also proposed in this study. xiii

15 ABSTRAK Aryani, Dwi Carla s Quest for the Meaning of Life as Seen in Carla Van Raay s God s Callgirl. Yogyakarta: Program Studi Pendidikan Bahasa Inggris, Universitas Sanata Dharma. Skripsi ini menganalisa novel God s Callgirl yang ditulis oleh Carla Van Raay. Novel ini menggambarkan riwayat hidup sang pengarang. Novel ini bermanfaat untuk dianalisa karena ini bercerita tentang perjalanan hidup seorang manusia, yang tercermin melalui sudut pandang seorang gadis yang berjuang untuk menemukan makna hidupnya. Analisa berfokus pada bagaimana Carla, tokoh utama dalam novel, mencari makna hidup. Untuk mencapai tujuannya, dua permasalahan dibahas dalam skripsi ini. Pertama, dalam hubungannya dengan gambaran Carla seperti dipaparkan dalam novel. Kedua, dalam hubungannya dengan pencarian Carla untuk menemukan makna hidup, yang dibagi menjadi tiga bagian yaitu perjuangannya, kegagalannya, dan penemuan makna hidup. Skripsi ini menerapkan penelitian perpustakaan. Sumber utamanya adalah novel itu sendiri. Sumber tambahan berasal dari buku-buku tentang teori psikologi dan literature, serta sumber dari internet yang menyediakan data yang mendukung untuk analisis ini. Skripsi ini menggunakan teori tokoh dan penokohan untuk menganalisa permasalahan pertama dan menggunakan teori logotherapy untuk membahas permasalahan kedua. Skripsi ini juga menggunakan pendekatan psikologi karena ini menyangkut tentang pikiran dan bagaimana hal tersebut mempengaruhi pola tingkah laku seseorang. Berdasarkan analisa, Carla digambarkan sebagai menyalahkan diri sendiri, naif, tertutup, pendendam, dan berpandangan terbuka. Karakteristik tersebut ditunjukkan melalui karakteristik sebagaimana dilihat oleh orang lain, ucapannya, reaksinya, dan pemikirannya. Selanjutnya, analisa ini juga menunjukkan bahwa ada tiga cara bagaimana Carla memperlihatkan keinginannya untuk menemukan makna hidup. Pertama, usahanya untuk menjadi seorang anak yang baik bagi kedua orangtuanya. Kedua, perjuangannya untuk menjadi seorang biarawati yang baik bagi Tuhan. Ketiga, usahanya menjadi Sang Pelacur Tuhan. Sayangnya, Carla gagal menemukan makna hidup melalui cara-cara tersebut. Oleh sebab itu, Carla melakukan cara-cara lain untuk menemukan makna hidup. Carla meninggalkan pekerjaanya sebagai pelacur menjadi seorang penulis. Selain itu, Carla menghadiri program-program terapi untuk penyembuhan dirinya. Dalam perjuangannya, Carla akhirnya menemukan makna hidup. Disarankan kepada peneliti yang akan datang untuk mengadakan analisa mengenai pengaruh kekerasan sexual terhadap kehidupan Carla. Ini juga memungkinkan untuk menganalisa makna menjadi Sang Pelacur Tuhan bagi Carla. Penggunaan novel ini sebagai materi untuk mengajar keahlian menulis juga diusulkan dalam skripsi ini. xiv

16 CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION This chapter presents the background of the study, problem formulation, objectives of the study, benefits of the study, and definition of terms. The background of the study explains the information of the topic and the reasons for investigating this topic. The problem formulation presents the research questions of this study. The objectives of the study explain the answer of questions stated in the problem formulation. The benefits of the study describe the advantages of this study. The definition of terms clarifies the important terms used in the study. A. Background of the Study Life is a gift from God for a person and it must be filled up with meaningful things as his gratitude. The meaning of life can be found by the person in all conditions and actions, for example in doing works, having conviction of the values of the truth, loving affection, and having good attitude. By filling his life with meaning, his life becomes meaningful for him. Searching a meaning of life directs and motivates a person to do some actions. According to Frankl (x-xi), people will contend with their difficulties and problems in their life if they have a will to meaning. He says that meaning is the most ideal thing that people search for in their life in which people have their own way to find their meaning of life. Frankl explains that the will to meaning is the 1

17 2 main activator of one s personality. This concept becomes one of bases in logotherapy as Frankl developed. When one searches for meaning in his life, whether he likes or not, he will find problems. The experiences of solving the problems can give an important value to others. The important value also can be found by reading a literary work because literary works, such as a novel, give a true picture of human life. Novel can reflect and portray the real human life experiences that will give readers knowledge or ideas that provoke them to be more aware of the situation around them since it completely describes life experiences. Stanton (44) states in An Introduction to Fiction, the peculiar strength of the novel is its ability to render a complex subject fully, to create a complete world. This study specified in a novel since novel describes characters, relationship between characters, situations, and conflicts completely. Carla Van Raay s God s Callgirl is one of novels that portrays human life experiences and values. It tells us a story of a person who looks for a meaning of life. Carla, as the main character of the novel, always searches for a meaning of her life. Her efforts to find the meaning of life are shown from her actions through her life. When Carla is a child, she always wants to do the best for her parents but her parents often hurt her feeling. Once, she promises to her father to keep the secret of his sexual abuses to her because she is threatened by him not to tell others but she loves her father. Then, she lives her childhood under a pressure of her father.

18 3 Searching for a meaning of life, Carla decides to become a nun at the age of eighteen as well as becomes a teacher. Unfortunately, she fails and then leaves the convent at the age of thirty. Next, as an ordinary woman, Carla needs to look for a job and get married. She breaks her marriage with James although they have already had a daughter named Caroline. After that, she meets a man named Hal and gets another daughter named Victoria but they never get married. The failure in her relations with men makes her feel more meaningless. The willingness to be meaningful for her daughters forces Carla to earn money to finance one of her daughters. Then, she decides to be a prostitute. She is very excited about her job as she finds an inspiration and then she calls herself as God s Callgirl, an extraordinary call for it is different from common prostitutes. Besides getting money, at first, she also finds that being a callgirl can help her clients solve their problems. At last, she finds that her decision to be a prostitute is inappropriate to find a meaningful life that it makes her lost her inner peace. As a person who has a freedom of will, Carla tries to survive in order to find the meaning of her life again. After leaving her job as a prostitute, she struggles to find what she really wants to be. By finding and solving the real problem throughout her life, she finally finds her meaning of life. Carla s experience in searching for a meaning of life is an amazing story to discuss. She shows her willingness to find the meaning in every situation and event of her life. When she feels that she loses her meaning of life, she does other actions to find what life means for her. This story provides a valuable lesson that people have their own way to find the meaning of life. It can be found in in all

19 4 situations, even in a worst one, and it constantly happens in one s life. However, Carla s quest for the meaning of life always teaches us how people can find the meaning of life in every condition, even in the bad situation in order to gain what life means for us. That is why this story is interesting to discuss. B. Problem Formulation There are two main questions which the writer formulated to analyze. Those are: 1. How is Carla, the main character, described in the novel? 2. How does Carla search for the meaning of life? C. Objectives of the Study The objective of the study is to analyse and to find out Carla s quest for the meaning of life as seen in Carla Van Raay s God s Callgirl. Therefore, there are two problems need to be answered in this study. The first is to find out the characteristics of Carla, the main character, as revealed in the novel. The second is to find out how Carla finds the meaning of life. D. Benefits of the Study This study deals with Carla s quest for the meaning of life as seen in Carla Van Raay s God s Callgirl. Hopefully, this study can give some benefits for students of English Education Study Program of Sanata Dharma University, for the future researchers, and for the readers.

20 5 1. For students of English Education Study Program of Sanata Dharma University It is hoped that the study gives students additional knowledge how one struggles to search for the meaning of life and provides information to understand the novel better. 2. For the future researchers It is hoped that this study can support future researchers resources for them in completing their study for it provides important information on Carla Van Raay s God s Callgirl and also offers some beneficial description about the main character and how she finds the meaning of life. 3. For the readers It is hoped that the study gives the readers some important values since it tells about a human life experience. It teaches the readers to find the meaning of life in all conditions and situations. It encourages them to find their meaning of life in both good and bad situations. E. Definition of Terms This part will provide several terms which are going to be used in this undergraduate thesis. To avoid confusion and misunderstanding, those terms are needed to be defined and presented as follows: 1. Quest for According to Hornby, quest for means a long search for something, especially for some quality such as happiness: the quest for happiness or

21 6 knowledge or truth. (1235). In this study, quest for refers to a person s effort to look for and gain her meaningful life. 2. Meaning of life According to Frankl (171), meaning of life is the purpose in life. The meaning of life is found in every moment of living and life itself never ceases to have meanings, even in suffering and death. 3. Motivation According to Petri (3) in Motivation Theory and Research, motivation is the concept we use when we describe the forces acting or on within an organism to initiate and direct behavior. Then, Frankl (154) in Man s Search for Meaning: an Introduction to Logotherapy states the will to meaning really becomes the highest motivation of the people s life. 4. Character Abrams (20) in A Glossary of Literary Terms defines the term of character as a person in a dramatic or narrative work. He is interpreted by the readers as being endowed with moral, dispositional, and emotional qualities which stated in dialogues they say and the actions they do. In this study, character is a person who presented by the author to build a story through his action and expression. 5. Logotherapy Logotherapy is developed by neurologist and psychiatrist Viktor Emil Frankl. The word logotherapy comes from the Greek word logos, which literally means meaning. Logotherapy focuses on the future, on the meanings to be fulfilled in the future. It is founded upon the belief that the will to meaning is the

22 7 striving to find a meaning in one's life that is the primary. The meaning of life is the most powerful motivating and driving force in human. ( 6. God s Callgirl God s Callgirl is a term Carla uses to call herself when she becomes a prostitute. The term unexpectedly comes from Carla s inspiration when she is at an exhibition of ancient Chinese vases. Becoming God s Callgirl, Carla visualises herself as someone who serves her customers out of a pure desire to balance their energy by offering them her services. God s Callgirl has a vision that Carla and her customers use the sexual act as an ecstatic meditation on God, and at the same time provide themselves with a pleasurable living (Van Raay ).

23 CHAPTER II REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE This chapter consists of a review related to literature which is divided into two parts. The first part is review of related theories. It presents theory of character and characterization, theory of critical approach to literature, and theory of logotherapy. The second part is theoretical framework. A. Review of Related Theories This part consists of some important theories to support the analysis in this study, namely the theory of character and characterization, critical approach to literature, and logotherapy. The theory of character and characterization help to find out the description of the main character. The theory of critical approach to literature is important to understand the work of literature. The theory of logotherapy helps to find out the actions of finding the meaningful life dealing with the main character s searching for a meaning of her life. 1. Character Characters are very important in a work of literature since they are necessary to make the story of the work of literature interesting. Characters are very significant because in order to understand the novel, the readers need to understand the characters. 8

24 9 a. Definition of Character Definition of character is proposed by Stanton (17) in An Introduction to Fiction. According to Stanton, the term character is used in two ways: firstly, it gives a particular description about individuals appearing in a story. Secondly, it refers to the mixture of interests, desires, moral principles which form the individual. Stanton also states that stories usually have a main character which is significant to all events in the stories and the main character usually causes conversion either in him or readers attitude toward him. Another definition of character is proposed by Abrams (20) in A Glossary of Literature Terms. Abrams explains characters as persons in a dramatic or narrative work that are interpreted by readers. They are endowed with moral, dispositional, and emotional qualities which stated in dialogues they say and actions they do. He also adds that the grounds in the characters temperament, desire, and moral nature for their speech and actions are called their motivation. b. Kinds of Character In Reading the Novel: An introduction to the Techniques of Interpreting fiction, Henkle (88-97) points out characters can be categorized as major and secondary ones. Major characters or the main characters are the most important and complex in a literary work or novel. They can be identified from their characterizations, the attention of the author and the readers, the attitudes of other characters to them, and the transmitting process of their character intensity. The major characters also build opinion that can establish the readers virtues. While, the secondary characters are the characters in which their performances are

25 10 limited. They may be less sophisticated. Therefore, their responses to the experiences in the story are also less complex. Besides, Forster (46-54) in Aspects of the Novel and Related Writings states there are two types of characters in literature. They are flat characters and round characters. Flat characters are built around a single idea or quality. These kinds of characters are presented without much individualizing detail, and therefore can be fairly adequately described in a single phrase of sentence. One great advantage of flat character is that they are easily recognized whenever they come in a story. A second advantage is that they are easily remembered by the readers. They are static and remain stable in a story. Different from flat characters, round characters are complex in temperament and motivation. These kinds of characters are represented subtle particularity so that they are difficult to be described with any adequacy as a person in real life. They are capable of surprising the readers. They are dynamic and posses many individual and unpredictable human traits. 2. Characterization Understanding the theory of characterization is needed in analyzing the characters that appear in the novel. The analyzing characters are implied by understanding the definition of characterization and then knowing the methods of characterization. a. Definition of Characterization According to Barnet and Berman (77), characterization is defined by what the characters do or what they say, what others say about them, and by what the

26 11 setting in which they move. Moreover, Rohberger and Woods, Jr. (20) define characterization as the processes employed by an author to create character. The creation of character includes particular personalities and physical attributes. b. Methods of characterization Murphy ( ) in Understanding Unseen: An Introduction to English Poetry and the English Novel for Overseas Students proposes a theory referring to the presentation of characters in front of the readers, in order to make readers comprehend and capable to reveal the character s personality and traits. According to him, there are nine ways in which an author attempts to make his characters understandable and alive to his readers as follows: 1) Personal description In this way, the author can describe who a character is based on physical appearance and clothing. The physical appearance such as face, eyes, hair, skin, body, and the clothing such as how character wears clothes, what kind of clothes the character wears can make the readers have a better imagination about the character. 2) Character as seen by other characters Here, the author also can introduce the character to the reader through the eyes and opinions of other characters. The author represents the character s performance and personality by letting other characters in his story tell what they see of the character they encounter.

27 12 3) Speech The author can give the readers inside into the character s speech. Whenever the character speaks, whenever the character is involved in a conversation with other characters, whenever the character puts forward an opinion are the readers hints of the character. 4) Past Life The author can give the past life of character in the story in order to make the readers understand the character well. The past life of the character can build a clue for the readers about events which catalyze in shaping the character s disposition. The narration is through descendant of direct comment from the author, the character s thoughts, the character s conversation, and also through the medium of another character. 5) Conversation of Others Through conversations with other characters, the author can give clues to the readers in order to show the character s personality. People often talk about other people and the thing they say may give us reference to the character of the person spoken about. 6) Reactions The author may give clues to the character s personality by letting the readers to know how the character reacts to various situations and events. The character often reacts to various situations and events which may reveal the character s personality. By doing so, the author can present a clue to the readers

28 13 who might expect to find the quality of the character in dealing with various situations and events. 7) Direct Comment The author can bring comments over the character s disposition which facilitates the readers to understand the character. By giving comments explicitly about the character s disposition and opinion about the character in the story, the author has possibility to describe or comments on the character s disposition directly. 8) Thought The writer is able to give the readers direct knowledge of what the character is thinking about. When the character is in deep thoughts, the readers can get into the character s mind. In real life, one cannot see into other s mind but in literary works, the character s mind is readable. 9) Mannerism The author can describe the character s mannerism, habits, or idiosyncrasies. Moreover, by knowing how the person behaves and acts in the novel, the reader will be able to understand the person s character that the author reveals the habits of the character both the positive and negative ones. 3. Critical Approach According to Rohrberger and Woods, Jr. (3) in Reading and Writing about Literature, we need to employ a mean which is called critical approach to have a reasonable judgment of a work of literature. It will help readers to have better understanding of the nature, function, and positive values. Rohrberger and Woods,

29 14 Jr. (6-15) propose five kinds of critical approaches. Those approaches are the formalist approach, the biographical approach, the socio cultural-historical approach, the mythopoeic approach, and the psychological approach. Every approach has its own characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses. That is why we should always consider in choosing the approach applied to a certain literary work because there is no single approach will suit to all kinds of literary work. We must consider and be able to choose the most appropriate approach that will suit to our analysis. In this study, I use the psychological approach. Rohrberger and Woods (13) state that the psychological approach helps us to analyze the novel from psychological points of view of human beings. That is from the organization of thought and feelings of the character. Moreover, it also explains and understanding the human motivation. 4. Logotherapy According to Frankl, who is a professor of psychiatry and neurology, the highest motivation of people is the will to meaning. It motivates people to do all actions, such as doing works, so that life becomes useful and worthy. The will to meaning is not an invention but it is a real spiritual phenomenon that is very important in the people s life. As the basic motivation of people, the will to meaning motivates them to be worthy and useful people who live with the meaningful actions. Furthermore, Frankl discusses the will to meaning in his theory, called logotherapy.

30 15 Frankl (154) starts his concept of the will to meaning from his criticism to the concepts of the pleasure principle by Freud and the will to power by Adler. He considers that those concepts simplify the existence and the behaviour of human being. Moreover, pleasure and power are not the main purpose of life but they are rewards from the actions of self-fulfilment that are based and directed on the will to meaning. According to Frankl, meaning is unique and personal because of fact that people have their own way to find the meaning of life. Besides, it is also changeable along with the times and conditions in people s life. It can be found by them in his works, art works and the worldview, even in the truth and love that they struggle and undergo personally. It shows that a person cannot give or entrust another person to create a meaning of life for him. In other words, only the person himself can feel and experience whether his life is meaningful or not and what the meaning of life for him is. a. Base of logotherapy Frankl ( ) in Man s Search for meaning and Introduction to Logotherapy explains that the will to meaning is the main activator of one s personality. Furthermore, the freedom of will, the will to meaning, and the meaning of life become the base of logotherapy. 1) The freedom of will Logotherapy explains that every person has a freedom and has to be responsible for his or her freedom. Freedom for people is the freedom to take a stand on every condition they face, either the condition of the environment or their

31 16 self-condition but not the freedom from biological, psychological, and sociological aspects. Taking a stand on the conditions, people can go out of biological and psychological dimension and then enter their spiritual dimension, where people can be as a noble creature different from other creatures. It is appropriate to an honourable term for a human as a self determining being. It means that, on the limitations, people have the ability and freedom to change their life condition in order to gain the more qualified life. The most important thing is that the freedom must be followed by the responsibility so that it does not become despotism. 2) The will to meaning Logotherapy explains that people always want to be valuable and useful persons for themselves, their family, friends, work environment, society, and being worthy for God. People also want to love and be loved by others because they will feel worthy and glorious by feeling of love and being loved. For example, parents always want to love and be loved by their children, and also want to be able to do their functions in the family as good as possible. On the other hand, children also want to be loved and to be pride of their parents. The will to meaning is really the main motivator to people. It can direct them to do some activities like doing their job and abilities. As the basic motivator for human being, the will to meaning directs people to be worthy and meaningful individual that they can find in their activities. If people can gain the will to meaning, they will feel useful, worthy, and meaningful for themselves and people around. On the other hand, they will feel meaningless if they cannot gain the will.

32 17 3) The meaning of life The meaning of life is deemed as something important, worthy and giving a particular value to someone, in which it properly becomes the purpose in life. People will find their life worthy if they can fulfil the meaning of life. Then, the meaning of life is apparently in the life itself and able to be found in every condition either enjoyable or suffering condition, even death. Meaning in suffering or blessing in disguise shows that people can still find the meaning of life although they are in suffer. If the will can be fulfilled, the people s life will be useful, worthy, and meaningful. On the contrary, if the will cannot be fulfilled, the people s life will be meaningless. b. Processes of Finding the Meaning of Life Frankl (69-79) in The Will to Meaning Foundation and Applications of Logotherapy explains that there are valuing processes that will enable someone to find a meaningful life. They are creative values, experiential values, and attitudinal values. 1) Creative values Creative values consist of doing work, creating and doing the duty as good as possible with the responsibility. For example, people can find their meaning of life and experience their life meaningfully by doing work. They feel more worthy when they have a work than when they have no work. Thus, the meaning of life is not determined by the work but it depends on one s personality, which has positive attitude to love his work and also to do work wholeheartedly. That is why

33 18 doing works is only means that give a chance to find and develop one s meaning of life. 2) Experiential values Experiential values consist of conviction and experience to the values of the truth, the good deeds, the beautifulness, the spirit, the religion, and loving affection. For example, there are many people who can find their meaning of life in their religion and or in all things they do with arts. They are also able to find the meaning of life by experiencing of loving affection. They can find their life full of glorious feeling by feeling love and being loved. It shows that loving affection is one of the sources of the meaning of someone s life. 3) Attitudinal values Attitudinal values consist of sincerity, patience, and courage. The courage means the bravery of someone who accepts the suffering with his whole heart, such as the suffering of the incurable diseases and death. For example, people cannot change the situation while finding the suffering but they can change their attitude to endure their life. The attitudes determine them to find the meaning of life. Thus, it means that people can find the meaning in every situation, provided they can take the correct attitude to endure the situation. c. Failure of Finding the Meaning of Life After dealing with the processes in finding the meaning, there are people who may not be able to fulfil their will to meaning because they have a lack of consciousness that they potentially can find the meaning from life and all their experiences. The failure of finding the meaning of life causes a suffering in the

34 19 sense of meaninglessness, emptiness, lost of the purpose in life, bored feeling, and apathy. This condition is termed as the existential vacuum that is caused by a frustration of the will to meaning (the existential frustration). The frustration is a result of the condition when people cannot find the meaning of life; even they have no will to meaning. Nowadays, the existential frustration and existential vacuum have become a widespread phenomenon. There are people who have experienced a loss of the feeling that life is meaningful. It is caused by many factors, such as the missing of traditions and values. According to Frankl (168), a failure of finding the meaning of life or the existential frustration is often directed to compensations. There are many kinds of compensations that people do, which almost all of the compensations are negative. The compensation can be some overly actions of the will to power, the will to pleasure, the will to sex, the will to work, and the will to money. On other words, in those overly actions, there is usually implied the meaningless life experience. Frankl ( ) insists that the existential vacuum does not belong to pathology or sickness, but spiritual distress. Spiritual in logotherapy does not deal with theology character but anthropologist character. Different from religious aspect that look at the spiritual as the phenomenon of this world and the next, logotherapy look at the spiritual from medical aspect. It means that the spiritual dimension is the source of health that has never been sick even the person has physical and mental sickness.

35 20 Although a full life experience without the meaning does not belong to a sickness, the intensive condition of its experiences can result noogenic neurosis, total character, and conformist character. The noogenic neurosis is a mood disorder that can inhibit one s self-adaptation and achievement. The disorder is marked by boredom, emptiness, hopeless, lost of interest and initiative, even the meaningless life. 5. Success in Finding the Meaning of Life Based on logotherapy, Schultz (115) in Growth psychology: Models of the healthy Personality concludes that people who have the meaning of life are describes as people who are free to choose their own course of action. They are personally responsible for the conduct of their lives and the attitude they hold towards their face. They are not determined by force outside themselves. They also have found a meaning in life which suits them. They are in conscious control of their lives. Besides, they are able to manifest creative, experiential, or attitudinal values. They have transcended the concern with self. They are oriented toward the future, directed toward future goals and tasks. B. Theoretical Framework In relation with the problem formulation, the approach and theories that have been discussed above are used to analyze the novel. They will be applied to answer the problems of this study. In this part, it explains which approach and theories used and how they are applied in the analysis. The first objective is to find out the description of Carla as the main character in the novel. It is therefore the theories of character by Foster and

36 21 Henkle are applied to determine what a sort of character Carla is, and the methods of characterization by Murphy are also used to obtain the complexity of Carla s characters revealed in the novel. The second objective is to find out the causes of Carla s quest for the meaning of life, her motivation, and her actions to find the meaning of life. The theory used is logotherapy by Frankl. I would like to apply the theory to analyze what Carla does to find the meaning of her life. Therefore, those theories will help me in analyzing this novel.

37 CHAPTER III METHODOLOGY This chapter contains the methodology of the study, which is divided into three parts. The first part is object of study. It describes the novel God s Callgirl and the focus of the study. The second part is the approach. It states the approach that is used in the study. The third part is the procedure. It explains the steps conducted in analyzing the novel. A. Object of the Study The object of this study is a novel entitled God s Callgirl. It was written by Carla Van Raay. It was first published by Harper Collins Publisher in Australia in Printed in paperback, this novel consists of 441 pages which are divided into 29 chapters. The novel God s Callgirl by Carla Van Raay starts with the story of Carla s childhood. Carla is born as a Catholic girl child in Tilburg, a little Dutch town. In her childhood, Carla always wants to give the best for her parents but unfortunately she precisely often finds disappointing and hurting responses from her parents. Her father hurts her when he does sexual abuses to her. She cannot forget what her father does which makes her feeling pent up through her life. These experiences make her think that her parents do not really love her. At the age of twelve, Carla and her family move to Australia. At the age of eighteen she decides to become a nun, an ultimate lover of Jesus for she finds that 22

38 23 only Jesus who loves her. She turns her thoughts to Jesus and transfers her will to meaning for Jesus. She feels that she has a meaningful life at the beginning of becoming a nun. But then everything in her life changes when she faces many conflicts in the convent that bring her in suffer. It causes her to feel meaningless and apathy that she decides to quit and leave the community at the age of thirty three. After leaving the convent, Carla s life as an ordinary person starts. The will to meaning directs her to do something. She looks for a job and gets married with a man. From her marriage, she gets a daughter. Unfortunately, she fails her marriage so that she gets a divorce from her husband and then just lives with her daughter Caroline. In no time, she gets a relationship with a man named Hal and has another daughter named Victoria. Unfortunately, Hal leaves her and then marries with another woman. Carla continues her life with Victoria because Caroline wants to live with her father James. She looks for a job to earn money to finance their needs. It is difficult to find a job with high payment so that Carla decides to be prostitute for good money and has fun as well, but life is getting worse when she finds the existential frustration of life that makes her have a feeling of guilt, meaningless, emptiness, and apathy. Because of having the will to meaning, Carla always directs herself to do something to find the meaning of life. Finally, she can find the meaningful life after solving her existential frustration of life. Carla Van Raay as the author tries to share her experience in how she finds the meaningful life. She tries to point out that people must have the will to

39 24 meaning so that they find the meaningful life. Moreover, people can find the meaning of life in all conditions but they can also lose it. It is hoped that the novel inspires people in general to find the meaning of life in all conditions so that they finally find the meaningful life. B. Approach of the Study A certain approach to analyze a literary work is needed to give a border of aspects to discuss in a study. The approach gives background of knowledge on the study and it is very helpful to develop the analysis based on the work to discuss. In Reading and Writing about Literature, Rohrberger and Woods, Jr. (3) say that a critical approach to literature necessitates an understanding of its nature and positive values. One must know what literature is, how to read it, and how to judge it. In relation to the topic, the writer applies the psychological approach in analyzing the main character of the story. The approach for the analysis of this study is the psychological approach. Since the study is related to the theory of psychology, logotherapy is applied to dig out the main character s motivation, personality, and behavior patterns. It is in line with Rohrberger and Woods, Jr. (13) that the psychological approach demonstrates effort to locate and demonstrate certain recurrent patterns, but from different body of knowledge that is psychological theory as to explain human motivation, personality, and behavior patterns written in the literary objects. The psychological approach used in the study is to find out what Carla s personality is like as reflected in her thoughts and actions mentioned in the novel through.

40 25 Furthermore, the psychological approach is used to analyze how Carla, the main character of this novel, manages to find the meaning of life so that she finally finds the meaningful life. It is used to discover what ways in psychology Carla carries out to find the meaning of life. The psychological approach is also employed to explore what aspect that motivates Carla to find the meaning of life and how the aspects influence her behavior to find the meaning of life. C. Method of the Study Some steps were carried out in order to complete the thesis. This part explains the steps taken in concluding this study. This study is a library research since references are mainly found from books. The primary source was taken from the novel written by Carla Van Raay, God s Callgirl. Furthermore to analyze the novel, there are some important books on literature, books on psychology, and other resources accessed from the internet as secondary sources. To understand about literary theories, especially theories on Character and Characterization, some resources from books on literature and psychology are taken to deepen the analysis. In answering the problem formulations, I carried some procedures that concerned the several steps in doing the analysis. The first step was choosing a novel to discuss. I chose the novel written by Carla Van Raay, God s callgirl, because it is very interesting for me. This novel attracted me since it is a true story of the author that tells about a woman who becomes a callgirl after leaving the convent. Besides, this novel provides me with some valuable insight. After

41 26 reading the novel for several times, I found a great topic to discuss. I was interested in how Carla struggles to find the meaning of life. Then, I decided to analyze Carla s quest for the meaning of life and to have a deeper understanding on how she manages to find it. After deciding the topic, I formulated the problem formulation to discuss. Then, I search and read books and resources that would help me in analyzing the novel. I read some books discussing theories that could support my analysis. They were theory of character and characterization, and theory of logotherapy. Besides, I also read some articles from the internet related to the novel. After finding enough data as the basis of the study, I started to analyze the novel. At first, I analyzed the description of Carla as the main character of the novel. Then I analyze how Carla searches for the meaning of life. The last step was drawing conclusions and making suggestions. The conclusion and suggestions were made based on the analysis. Besides, I tried to give implementation for teaching learning activities.

42 CHAPTER IV DISCUSSION This chapter is divided into two parts. The first part is the answer of the description of Carla, the main character of the novel. The second part concerns the quest of Carla to find the meaning of life. A. The Description of Carla According to Stanton (17), the word character refers to people who are in the novel. It has very important position and function in a story. In this novel, Carla is the most significant character because she is the key of the novel. Based on the theory proposed by Henkle (88-97), Carla is considered as the major character since she is the center of the story. Besides, Carla becomes the focus of any act on the whole story. Based on the theory of character proposed by Foster (46-54), Carla is considered as a round character since she has complexity in temperament and motivation. She is built around several ideas or traits of human nature. In order to understand the characters fully, Murphy ( ) proposes nine methods of characterization. They are personal description, character as seen by another, speech, past life, conversation of others, reactions, direct comments, thoughts, and mannerism. However, in this analysis there are only some methods that will be implemented to describe the characteristics of Carla. The use of those 27

43 28 methods is very essential to analyze Carla s description. Therefore, only some of them are implemented in this analysis. In this novel, Carla is described as: 1. Self-reproachful Carla is a self-reproachful person who often blames herself when others feel disappointed on what Carla has done, eventhough she is not actually wrong. Besides, Carla prefers accepting people s blame to quarrelling with those people. In the novel, it can be seen that Carla feels guilty to God by keeping her father s secret. Carla thinks that she makes a sin since she does not have any courage to admit her mistake to the priest. Carla gradually feels guilty. Moreover, she thinks that she has hurt Jesus, especially after she listens to story of Jesus sacrifice. In addition, Carla blames herself for causing Jesus death as she has made a sin by not confessing her sin to the priest (Van Raay 21-22). Concerning her sin, Carla does not want to die early. She is afraid that she will fall into the hell if she makes any sin in her life. Being anxious, Carla conspires with the devil to delay her death and to avoid the hell before she relieves herself for her sin (Raay 30). My heinous prayer to the devil came out of the deepest desolation and abandonment. After a while, I felt that my prayers had been answered. I survived. But the guilt at my betrayal of God was terrible. It stopped me from breathing and eating, and I started to get things wrong, which in turn meant being derided by my father and the children at school (Van Raay 30-31). At the age of eighteen, Carla enters a convent to be a nun. Then, she leaves the convent at the age of thirty one. She knows that leaving the convent makes her parents sad and disappointed. Her parents realize that their beloved daughter has weaknesses. Carla sees the pain in their eyes, a deep sense of having been

44 29 betrayed. Her father s face is a mixture of derisive accusation and genuine puzzlement. Her mother is also barely breathing, intents on trying to understand her. Their pain finally hits her and breaks her heart so that makes her feel selfreproachful (Van Raay 262). After Carla leaves the convent, she marries James and has a daughter named Caroline with whom James lives with after the marriage unfortunately ends. Then, she has a relationship with Hal and has a daughter named Victoria but unfortunately the relationship is also over. Carla becomes a single parent for her daughter Victoria. She needs a job to support their life. Carla decides to be a prostitute because she thinks that she can get money easily. She finds a vision to inspire her to work as a prostitute by calling herself as God s Callgirl. She thinks that God s Callgirl will be helpful for her clients because she provides them what they need at the same time. However, there is a guilty feeling in her initial conviction of becoming God s Callgirl that her sexual contact with men will give them spiritual benefit. I condemned myself for encouraging what I call men s alienated behaviors. My guilt was intense. I couldn t see that my clients motivation wasn t my business. I couldn t see that I was arrogant to believe that I could understand what they were thinking. What had happened to my initial conviction that my sexual contact with men would benefit them spiritually? Was I allowing myself to be intimidated by society s mores? That wouldn t have been possible unless there was some guilt lurking inside me, waiting to be triggered. But the guilt had been there long before. I started my work. I had chosen a profession that would prove to me that I was guilty (Van Raay 354). Through her thought and reactions, it is obviously seen that Carla is a selfreproachful person who feels guilty easily. The guilty feeling brings her into a

45 30 feeling of meaningless. If this condition cannot be stopped, she will not find her meaning of life. 2. Naive In the novel, Carla is described as a naive girl. She is lack of experience, knowledge and ability to judge something, while she believes that what people have told her is the truth. When Carla studies at Vaucluse, Mother Anthony who teaches her mathematics tells that Kissing makes you pregnant. Because of her naivety, Carla accepts the statement as the true one. Consequently, it influences her acts in making relationships with any men. When Carla develops a relationship with Keith three months before Carla becomes a nun, Keith is sad because Carla never allows him to kiss her mouth since she is afraid of being pregnant (Van Raay 92). Carla s naivety can also be seen when she is a nun, especially when she does not get her period. Mother Mary John is really surprised when she hears that. Mother Mary John responds to the report from the linen mistress that Carla has not ordered sanitary pads for five months by calling Carla to her office. Where have you been, Sister? Been? I had been nowhere special. My interrogators watched me closely. The tension was electric. Mother Mary John finally became specific. Did you go to the village at all, Sister? No, I haven t gone to the village. Not at all. Why? (Van Raay 185) Carla is known that she is suffering from a shortage of iron. Then, she is given some tablets. Afterward, her period returns. Carla s naivety makes herself misunderstand the reason for Mother Mary John s and other sisters anxiety. They worry and wonder if Carla is pregnant.

46 31 After leaving the convent, Carla enters an anonymous secular world in which she feels completely unnerving because she is lack of experience to socialize with other people outside the convent. Carla s naivety also can be seen in her difficulty to adapt to the secular world. She tries to pay attention on how people around behave. She feels that she is strange in the world of social intercourse. Even more, she does not know what a post office is for. She also does not know how modern adult behaves socially. She observes people around her to give her some ideas and listens to their banter (Van Raay ). Carla s naivety is also can be seen when she gets pregnant after getting married with James. When her pregnancy is six-months old, she and her husband join a business of Golden Product but they are tricked by this business. They lose all of their money. She says: James and I lost all of our savings to Golden Products (Van Raay 283). Carla s naivety brings her into a trouble when she has a relationship with Hal after her marriage with James is over. She develops a relationship with a man named Hal for two whole weeks. When Hal is away for two weeks, he gives her a condom. Carla does not understand why the condom is given to her because she has never been unfaithful to him. She asks Hal whether he expects her to go rampant just because he is going away for a while. Hal does not answer but just chuckles and shakes his wide shoulders lightly. It is actually such a test for Carla s loyalty for their relationship. Unfortunately, Carla is so naive that she uses the condom to have sex with another man. It hurts Hal and makes him disappointed with her.

47 32 Was this a test of some kind? At the time, that thought didn t enter my mind. I took this gift to mean that he did not want me to be lonely while he was gone I wrote to Hal about the encounter in glowing terms, thanking him for the condom. It had served its purpose after all! Hal was deeply hurt. He wrote his disappointment in a terse letter. I was confused, but in hindsight I can see I should not have been surprised. I determined to be more careful with Hal s feelings, and to stay out of the way of other men (Van Raay 315). From the discussion above, it is obvious that Carla is naive. It can be observed through her reactions, and her thought. She is lack of knowledge which makes her believe that people always tell her the truth. 3. Introverted In Carla s childhood, she grows up to be an introverted person because of keeping a secret of which her father has done a sex abuse to her. She is more interested in concerning her own thoughts and feelings than spending time with other people. Carla is too anxious if people know what has happened between her and her father. She cannot share the secret to anyone. She s growing too fast, they all said, maybe that s why she s become so skinny, and so shy, as well. They might have added, So shy that is scared to look at you, and wants no one to even notice her. It wasn t a growth spurt; it was the terrible secret I now carried. I couldn t share it with anyone, this dark and sad burden on my soul (Van Raay 26). Carla does not like spending time with other people but she likes spending time with her dolls. She can share everything what she feels to her dolls. She thinks that only her dolls that know her. She relates to them as she will have preferred to relate to the people around her. She pretends to be some characters she expects from people around her, which she becomes an untiringly tender

48 33 mother, a sister, a child asking for helps, a nurse, and a creative problem-solver (Van Raay 50). Through character as seen by others and her thought when Carla is a child, it can be concluded that she is an introverted girl. She is more interested in concerning her own thought and feelings than spending time with other people. She cannot share her feeling with anyone. She is more interested in sharing with her dolls than sharing with other people. 4. Vengeful Carla is a vengeful girl. She keeps the feeling of vengeance on what her father has done to her. Her father has done sexual abuses repeatedly to her when she is a child and he has threatened Carla not to tell others, even the priest. She feels painful so that she cannot forget it along her life (Van Raay 26-30). The most unforgettable moment is a moment once happens in the coal shed, where her father works to make shoes and create toys for Christmas and birthdays. Carla s father calls her there and then he shuts the door quickly without turning on the light. He threatens her violently in order to his daughter keeps the secret. My father s face was contorted in a terrible in a terrible way and he could barely get his words out. His hands found their way first around my shoulders, shaking them violently, and then suddenly around my neck as he began to strangle me. His tone was ugly, reminding me of the kind of talking that was not allowed in our house Don t talk to anyone about this he panted, poking a finger into my mouth to indicate what he meant, unable to say what had never been admitted to in daylight. The words came thickly from his twisted mouth, reverting to the dialect he had learned on the streets. Don t talk about it! Especially not to the priest! Understand? Nobody! the vein in his forehead were standing out and his eyes were wild. He was grinding his teeth. Suddenly, he let me drop to the sooty floor. I fell in a bundle at his feet,

49 34 unable to answer, pulsing one moment with the hopeless desire to plead, the next with the desire to die, until finally I was overcome by fear of actually dying. (Van Raay 29) Carla s desire of vengeance also can be seen in some moments when she comes to the therapists after Hal urges her to visit them. It is caused by Hal s suspect that there is something in her past that seriously needs to be healed. In her therapy process, Carla often finds glimpses of her father s body when she is asked to close her eyes and imagine something. Then, it causes her feeling of vengeance. She says to herself, there was no love left in me then, and no pleading, no questions; there was only overwhelming desire to punish him. And with all the intension I could muster, I cursed him (Van Raay 372). From the discussion above, it is obvious that Carla is vengeful. It can be analyzed from her thoughts, her speech and her reactions. What her father does when she is a child leaves a strong feeling of vengeance on her. This feeling comes up when she grows older. She realizes it while she is having therapists to heal herself. 5. Open-minded Carla becomes an open-minded person after she faces many problems in her career as a prostitute. Carla is not Carla she used to be. She receives Hal s suggestion to have therapies because he first suspects that there is something in her past that seriously needs healing. When a couple of therapist comes to town that specialized in championing people who have suffered at the hands of adults when they are children, Hal urges Carla to visit the therapist and offers to pay the expenses (Van Raay 369).

50 35 On the therapy programs she attends, she learns to tell and share her problems. Carla often has conversation with the therapist. There are so many questions and instructions that have to be answered by Carla. She gets many good values from the programs until she can find the real healing she really needs (Van Raay ). Carla also realizes that she has been locked into a endless conflict unconsciously. She does not give up when some therapies do not effectively succeed. She keeps on attending to any therapy programs although she cannot solve her problems instantly (Van Raay 374) From the discussion above, through Carla s thoughts and speeches with the therapists, it is obvious that Carla is open-minded person when she receives Hal s suggestion to go to the therapists. She starts seeing her problem on the other sides by sharing and telling others about it. She also can find some positive values by becoming open-minded person. B. Carla s Quest for the Meaning of Life The meaning of life is considered as an important and valuable thing that gives a specific value to people (Frankl 154). It includes a purpose of life that has to be reached and to be fulfilled by them. The meaning of life is difficult for people to find out because it is often hidden or implied in life. If people can find the meaning of life, they will feel that life is meaningful and valuable. Thus, happiness is a reward or side effect of the success in finding the meaning of life.

51 36 Carla also wants to find the meaning of life. She does many things and tries to do the best for finding the meaning of life. Frankl (154) states man s search for meaning is a primary force in his life and not a secondary rationalization of instinctual drives. The statement explains that the will to meaning motivates people to do actions so that life becomes useful and worthy. In this Novel, Carla also does some actions and works in quest for the meaning of life. She struggles in her life to find the meaning of life that will give her happiness. 1. Carla s Struggle to Find the Meaning of Life Carla s life consists of several moments or situations that are different for times to times through her life. According to Frankl (172), as each situation in life represents a challenge to man and presents a problem for him to solve, the question of the meaning of life may actually be reserved. Man s search for meaning insists that one has his own specific vocation or mission in life that must be fulfilled by himself, not by others. Carla faces situations in her life, which represent a challenge and a problem to be solved, where a question of the meaning of life is reserved. Moreover, she has to answer the question as responsibility in finding the meaning of life. About the meaning of life, Frankl considers that the meaning of life is unique, specific, personal, so that each person has a unique meaning of his life and appreciation of different ways between the personal and the other ones. In this novel, Carla s will to meaning can be seen in her willingness to be a good child

52 37 for her parents, to be a good nun for God, and to be God s Callgirl. They will be analyzed as follows: a. Being a Good Child for her Parents Carla is a child who loves her parents, especially her father. Carla tries to make her parents, especially her father, happy and proud of her. She is proud of her father. Carla is amazed at her father s handsome appearance and ability to play a violin and a harmonica. She is in awe of his expertise in playing them although he often plays the same tunes repeatedly that annoys her mother. Carla takes a pity and loves her father more because she knows that her mother hates him while he is playing his violin or harmonica. Carla says to herself, I was in awe of his expertise, but my mother considered it a vulgar thing. She said his repertoire was boring. Poor Dad; for him, it would have been enough if she had never said out loud that she hated it (Van Raay 12). Carla really loves her father so much. Her love also can be seen in her obedience of keeping the secret that her father commits sexual abuses to her even though it makes her get cough for weeks and months when she is three years old. She shows her obedience to show that she is a good child for her father. In the mornings, the taste of it was still in my mouth. I thought I d had an awful dream. In the beginning, when I was only three, I wanted to retch, vomit, get rid of it; then, out of the blue, I developed whooping cough. I coughed and coughed for weeks and moths but couldn t get rid of what was choking me; could never wash my throat clean. But gradually, because I was a though child and loved my father unquestioningly, I adjusted (Van Raay 27). Her willingness to be a good child also can be seen when she thinks that her father wants a son as his first child, she tries hard to be a son for him. She

53 38 carries things that are far too heavy for her, to show her father how strong she is. She wants to be stronger than any boy around in the age. Even more, Carla proves it by challenging the boys to fight her so that she is considered as a superior among them. Her actions are also helpful for her brothers and sisters because she will fight anyone who hurts her brothers and sisters (Van Raay 57). Besides, Carla regularly wins the annual running race organized by parents for the local kids. That Carla loves her father can be seen when she chooses the prizes of her win. She always chooses the things which her father can use. She feels to be meaningful at the moment when her father laughs and shows he is proud of her. Then, she feels very happy because of her father s happiness. I just had to win for him, and the whole neighborhood seemed to know this too and cheered me on. Afterwards I would look up at him breathlessly, showing him the bottle of sherry or whatever that I d chosen as a prize. I was white with anxiety and exhaustion: Now, Papa, will you think that I m good enough? Now, will you respect me? I didn t care that the prizes I d chosen were things I couldn t use myself my papa could use them; that s what mattered to my love-starved soul. He laughed, my papa did; he was proud of me. I was painting with pleasure and with an inexplicable pain in my heart (Van Raay 58). Carla s struggle to be a good child for her parents shows that Carla takes a valuing process of finding the meaning of life. She takes an experiential values as what Frankl (73) states that experiential values consists of conviction and experience to the value of the truth, the good deeds, the beautifulness, the spirit, the religion, and loving affection. In this case, Carla tries to find the meaning of life by feeling love and being loved by her parents since she is a good child.

54 39 b. Being a Good Nun for God Carla s struggle to find the meaning of life is obviously seen when she decides to be a nun. When she is thirteen, she thinks that she can find the meaning of life by having a very close relationship with God. Frankl (176) states that people can find the meaning of life by dealing with experiential values like having a close relationship with God. She pours out her heart to God in the church at playtime and lunchtime. She is sure that God must love her, while no one else does. She loves God even though she has never met God before. Her experiences of the value of religion bring glorious feeling to Carla. She loves God and feels beloved by God too. she creates an imaginary relationship that is her version of a relationship with the Divine. Then, it guides her to decide to be a nun one day, an ultimate lover of God (Van Raay 82). Carla joins a convent at the virginal age of eighteen since her experiences of the value of her religion. In the convent, she transfers her needs of love to God by trying to be a good nun for God. Carla becomes a postulant, the first time she enters the convent. Postulant refers to one who asks. In this case, one who asks to be admitted to become a nun. It takes several months until she declares her willingness to be a bride of Christ in a ceremony, to which her parents and sisters attend. In the ceremony, every postulant wears a pseudo-wedding gown. After declaring, she is called as a young novice and then she wears new clothes, which is heavy black serge and white cap with a bonnet covers her head. At that time, she is very happy since becoming a nun makes her father proud of her.

55 40 After the brave ceremony, my family was there to congratulate me. My father held me tight and kissed me on the mouth until my mother whispered urgently for him to stop. With his mouth still on mine, I opened my eyes and saw my mother agitated face. She was looking around to see who might be noticing this tableau. In that unconscious moment of conclusion with my father, I felt all desperate conclusions of the past paying off. My father was proud of me at last. I had finally succeeded! (Van Raay 128). She tries to be the best novice she can be. As a dutiful novice, she should have total respect to her elders. She tries to do the best by doing every work that she has to do in the convent. She explains, I tried to be the very best novice I could be. I made the parlours look as if no one ever used them, and the floors of the corridors shone with my waxing, polishing and endless mopping (Van Raay 135). After Carla becomes a novice, the ceremony of making her first real commitment with the triple poverty, chastity, and obedience, is carried out two years later. Then, she becomes a nun who commits to live humbly in serving God for ten years before she decides to leave the convent. She has obeyed a duty of being sent to the order s teacher-training college at Sedgley Park in England for three years. As her commitment on serving God, she has tried to be a good nun and to do her best in every duty she has for ten years until finally she decides to leave the convent. Frankl (158) states, Man is never driven to moral behaviour; in each instance he decides to behave morally. Man does not do so in order to satisfy a moral drive and to have a good conscience; he does so for the sake of a cause to which he commits himself, or for a person whom he loves, or for the sake of his God. In this novel, Carla s will to meaning also can be seen when she commits herself to serve God by being a good nun.

56 41 c. Being God s Callgirl Carla continues to find the meaning of life by taking an opposite way from previous experience. She becomes a prostitute. She decides to be a prostitute because she has to afford her life with her daughter. It points out the freedom of will, one of Logotherapy bases (Frankl 158). She has her own freedom to decide what she will do and not do for her life and to take a stand on her condition responsibly. She tries to find the meaning continuously. As a prostitute, she thinks she can earn better and have fun as well. She works for a pimp at first but then she decides to work from home. She is very choosy in choosing her clients because she prefers businessman to other profession one. By having few clients, she thinks that her clients feel comfortable and safe. Besides, by becoming a prostitute, she feels herself wholly a woman, being in love with sex, enjoying men s compliments and attentions. Then, the clients give her the honour of paying her well. The payment is a form of appreciation for her. It gives her a sense of self-worth (Van Raay ) Carla always tries to regard her job as a prostitute positively. There is one occasion which inspires her. It is when she is attending an exhibition of ancient Chinese vases in Perth. She is completely mesmerized on the picture which is painted on the vase that there are Chinese nuns, who are fully dressed, but clearly in coitus, offering their vulvas to well-hung men who look like a travelling merchant. The fantasy suited me and that was the whole point, although I suppose there could have been some truth in it. Were there ever nuns in China? Buddhist ones, perhaps? No matter; from now on, I would visualise myself as someone who served her customers out of a pure desire to balance their

57 42 energy by offering them her precious feminine juices. They would be feeling peaceful, blessed and cleansed God s Callgirl would bring out the best in them! And in return, my customers would do me as good as well (Van Raay 321). The pictures inspire her work as a prostitute, in which a story instantly wells up in her brain, explaining everything how. Then, she calls herself as God s Callgirl with a vision. The vision is about a relationship between her and the clients. She thinks that she and her clients have a mutually beneficial relationship for both of them. A man needs a female to balance his energy in a more wholesome way than masturbating, which does not exchange of female energy. On the other hand, the nuns need the men for their own purposes. They use the sexual acts as an ecstatic meditation on God and at the same time provides them with a living. Here, the purpose of the sex is not self-indulgence, but to achieve equanimity of the spirit. Carla visualises herself as someone who serves her customers to balance their energy by offering them her feminine energy. Creative juices flowed easily from my heart and body. Grace seemed to pour out of my hands and nectar out of my fanny. I enjoyed touching and giving pleasure and being touched in return by so many different hands, tongues, bodies. I got to know the lovemaking habits of many men and admired how they could take command in a gentle directive way when I invited them to (Raay ). Carla does not feel tired as long as she is satisfied and happy. She is pleased when she knows that her clients find what they need from her. She always does the best for her clients as good as she can do. She feels worthy when she can do something good for her clients so that they feel satisfied. She loves and does her work wholeheartedly. It causes the feeling of happiness for that moment of her life.

58 43 Carla feels happy as God s Callgirl and also feels pleasure to be with her clients. She appreciates her customers at least what she gets to know them during the short periods they spend together in such out of uncommon circumstances. They certainly seemed appreciative of her too. From her vision of becoming God s Callgirl, Carla shows that she can give something valuable by her work (Van Raay 321). These conditions point out that she can find the meaning of life at that time because happiness is a reward or an effect of the success of finding the meaning of life. Frankl (34) states that happiness does not exist suddenly but it is an effect of meaning fulfilment from the will to meaning. 2. Carla s Failure to Find the Meaning of Life Carla tries to find the meaning of life continuously but she also finds failures in her struggles. The failures cause her feeling of meaningless or existential frustration. She suffers from the sense of meaninglessness, emptiness, lost of the purpose in life, bored feeling, and apathy. According to Frankl ( ), this condition is termed as the existential vacuum that is caused by the existential frustration, which is a frustration of the will to meaning. Moreover, the effect of meaningless experience, which is unsolved and continued, will cause noogenic neurosis. The noogenic neurosis is a mood disorder that can inhibit one s self-adaptation and achievement. The disorder is marked by boredom, emptiness, hopeless, lost of interest and initiative, even the meaningless life. In this novel, Carla s will to meaning is shown by willingness to be good child for her parents, to be a good nun for God, and to be God s Callgirl. Those

59 44 fails because her ways are not appropriate to obtain valuing processes that will enable someone to find the meaning of life. Carla s failure to find the meaning of life makes her suffer from an existential vacuum. The existential vacuum becomes an inhibiting factor for Carla s self-adaptation and achievement so that she finds the meaningless life. Meanwhile, Schultz (115) states that characteristics of healthy personalities are oriented toward the future, directed toward future goals and tasks. The failure of finding the meaning of life can be analyzed as follows: a. The Failure of Being a Good Child for her Parents There is no doubt that Carla always tries to do the best for her parents, especially for her father. She feels meaningful when she can make her father happy. Unfortunately, she loses the meaning of life later. Her struggle to be a good child for her parents can be seen when she promises to her father that she will not tell anyone even the priest about what he has done to her. At first, she feels happy. Then, after knowing that confession in front of the priest is one of way for sinful Catholics to get a release from a punishment, Carla feels that she has been sinful by keeping the secret from the priest. She knows that sinful people will enter the hell when they die. It makes her afraid of death so that she begs the devil to help her and makes a deal with him. Unexpectedly, she feels she has hurt God by making a deal with the devil. It causes guilty feeling so that makes Carla becomes a self-reproachful person. It proves that she cannot find the meaning of life because she gets a guilty feeling as a reward (Van Raay 21-22).

60 45 Carla does not find the meaning of life in this moment also because she does not have a freedom of will, one of the bases of Logotherapy. Frankl ( ) states people who have a freedom to take a stand on every condition they face must have responsibility. Here, on the limitations, people have the ability and freedom to change their life condition in order to gain a more qualified life. Unfortunately, in this case, Carla does not have it. She is trapped in her selfreproachful feeling. Furthermore, she is not able to change the condition because she has promised to her father for keeping the secret. She is determined by the power out of herself, which in this case is the power of her father. It also lets her become an introverted person. b. The Failure of Being a Good Nun for God Carla s will to meaning is also seen in her willingness to be a good nun for God. Unfortunately, Carla s struggle to be a good Nun for God also fails later when she finds a frustrated feeling as she cannot take a stand on some problems. She feels hurt when she is not allowed to learn to play the piano. Her superior is afraid that Carla does not have any talent for music at all. Furthermore, when Carla wants to learn to drive, she is refused again. The refusal brings her to desperate frustration (Van Raay ). She cannot take a stand on the conditions she faces. Self-pity beckons seductively causes the hidden emotions to open slowly. Although her loyalty to the Society is intact, she does not have the Spirit of the Society any longer because she feels refused. She gets a feeling of boredom there. Finally, she decides to leave the convent.

61 46 My loyalty to the Society was still intact so much so that I had never opened my mouth to anyone on the outside, not even my parents but it was true that I no longer embodied the Spirit of the Society, which relied entirely on joyful obedience and a respectful and intimate association with superiors (Van Raay 253). Carla s failure to find the meaning of life through her struggle to be a good nun for God can be seen from her frustrated feeling. Frankl (168) states that the frustration is a result of the condition when people cannot find the meaning of life. in this case, Carla suffers from her failure so that she finds the meaningless feeling, bored feeling, and apathy. c. The Failure of Being a God s Callgirl Becoming God s Callgirl makes Carla feels happy at the beginning but not in the end. Her vision of God s Callgirl does not run as well as Carla thinks in the beginning, even she finds a meaningless life. It happens in one of occasions when Carla meets Phil, her client. Carla wants to give the best service for him. Phil confides that he has had a great pleasure with her. It makes Carla happy. Unfortunately, it changes when Phil finally feels remorseful to betray his wife. The remorseful feeling makes Phil infinitely lonelier. His spilling of sexual energy has proven to him how an empty life is without love and a real intimacy. This situation makes Carla feel concerned to re-consider her vision of being God s Callgirl (Van Raay 338). Carla s experience with Phil changes her thought about a relationship. She thinks that her relationship with her clients is false. She wants to be a real person in a real relationship while she works. She knows that her fantasy of the Chinese

62 47 nun is not real. Besides, she starts to feel confused about her vision of being God s Callgirl and then finally she finds the meaningless life again. After Phil left that afternoon, life would never be exactly the same again. More than anything, I now wanted to be real. To learn to be real, so my reasoning went, i needed to define more exactly what was good and what was bad. Having thrown out my Christian God at the end of 1969, I failed to replace him with any other sort of God. I felt now that I was missing something in the depth of me, a longing that wasn t being fulfilled by my work. There must be some kind of wisdom out there that surpassed what the Catholic Church had to offer; I just hadn t come across it yet. I wanted an ultimate truth, something that could command my entire devotion (Van Raay 339). Becoming God s Callgirl is not an appropriate profession and it is against positive values in society. However, God s Callgirl is a prostitute that gets negative estimation in the society. She has to accept that morality often breeds prejudice, which the local council once banishes her. Furthermore, Carla has a visit from the Vice squad one day. From these experiences, she realizes that there is no respect for God s Callgirl which excites the desire psychical and spiritual energies as her vision. God s Callgirl is considered as a common denominator of vice (Van Raay 342). Carla loses her happiness of being God s Callgirl. At the age of forty-five, she realizes that she is getting older. Her hands are becoming slowly but surely ruined from being coated in oil so often. Her muscles and veins are beginning to stand out. She does not have any good things of becoming a prostitute anymore. She also has no profession to fall back (Van Raay 342). Carla wants to try hard to leave her work as a prostitute. The pure enjoyment which she uses to know is no longer there. Unfortunately, she keeps deferring to really leave her work because of being paid well and meeting her kind

63 48 clients. It seems that she is being addicted by her work. She finds existential frustration in this case. She does not stop working as a prostitute because she is addicted to sex, to the attention she is getting and to easy money (Van Raay 350). I condemned myself for encouraging what I called men s alienated behaviour. My guilt was intense. I couldn t see that my clients motivation wasn t my business. I couldn t see that I was arrogant to believe that I could understand what they were thinking. What had happen to my initial conviction that my sexual contact with men would benefit them spiritually? Was I allowing myself to be intimidated by society s mores? That wouldn t have been possible unless there were some guilt lurking inside me, waiting to be triggered (Van Raay 354). Carla s failure to find the meaning of life through her struggle to be a God s Callgirl can be seen from her existential frustration of her work. Frankl ( ) states that the intensive condition of existential frustration can cause noogenic neurosis. It is a mood disorder that can inhibit one s self-adaptation and achievement. The disorder is marked by boredom, emptiness, hopeless, lost of interest and initiative, even the meaningless life. In this case, feeling addicted to sex, to the attention she gets and to easy money cause Carla finds noogenic neurosis that can be seen in her missed achievement in her vision of being God s Callgirl. It shows that she finds her life meaningless. 3. Carla s Finding the Meaning of Life Carla s will to find the meaning of life motivates her to struggle and to take a stand of her life to find the meaning of life. Carla decides to leave her profession as God s Callgirl. She turns her work on to the more valuable for her and others. She tries to change her career. For instance she starts up an introduction magazine. Although she has changed her career, Carla has not found the meaning of life yet. She does not have an orientation on her future and is

64 49 determined by the power from out of herself. Moreover, Carla comes to some therapy programs. From the therapy programs, she gets healing process so that she finally finds the meaning of life. As an open-minded person, Carla receives Hal s suggestion to go along therapies. Hal is the first person who suspects that there is something in Carla s past which seriously needs to be healed. When a couple of therapist come to town that specialize in championing people who have suffered at the hands of adults when they are children, Hal urges Carla to meet them and offers to pay the expenses. Furthermore, Carla is able to get healed step by step (Van Raay 369). One day, Carla goes to a therapist, Jan. Carla often finds glimpses of her father s body when she is asked to close her eyes and imagine something. It makes Carla have a strong desire to punish him. Next, she attends on another therapy program to Byron Bay in New South Wales to do Hoffman Process, which specifically deals with father and mother issues. During all the angry pillow-bashing sessions, it puzzles her why she is driven to pulverize her father s imagined penis repeatedly (Van Raay ). Through the Hoffman Process, Carla s perception of her father and mother are transformed from seeing them only as the people who brings her up, to seeing them as sensitive human beings who struggle a long and do their best. It brings the feeling of loving her parents inside her, which makes her decide to come to her parents and tells each of them face to face that she loves them so that they feel joyful (Van Raay 375).

65 50 Through attending therapy programs, Carla also realizes that she has been locked into a conflict. The secret that she keeps from others brings her into a lifetime conflict, in which she feels so sinful, guilty, introvert, and sensitive, even vengeful. It proofs that she has done self-sabotage by making a dreadful pact with the devil when she is a child. During several quiet days on my own in a Byron Bay hotel, integrating what I had gone through in the Hoffman Process, the realisation came to me that it was the devil of my childhood religion with whom I had made my dreadful pact. I sat as if stunned while the implications became clearer. I had not wanted to die and risk going to hell which meant I must have done something really bad to make me believe I would go to hell if I died. But what about confection how was it that I did not believe God would forgive me for whatever it was I had done? Although I had been familiar with angels, always making room for them beside me when I was a child, I had turned to the devil and asked for his support. More than that: at some stage, I promised to fail at everything I really wanted to do in life, provided I was allowed to live! I was overwhelmed by these heinous thoughts, but relieved to have a clear strategy at last: exorcise this devil! Reverse this promise! (Van Raay ). Next, Carla comes to Rimmie who is a sympathetic. Carla thinks that Rimmie can help her with exorcising a devil from her life. In the session of exorcising the devil, Rimmie lets Carla to tear up the pact that she makes with the devil. Rimmie asks Carla to tell him that he has been with her for long enough and that is time for him to go. He is no longer needed in her life. Carla falters but she gets through the performance with credible assertiveness. She is no longer afraid to die. She says, I faltered, but got through the performance with credible assertiveness. Begone, evil thing! I shouted, my lips held tight to stop them from trembling. I renounce my pact with you! I am no longer afraid to die! I deserve to succeed at everything I do! (Van Raay 377).

66 51 A full of two-year period has passed since Carla has completed the Hoffman Process that has uncovered her childhood pact with the devil. The whole picture becomes clear to Carla. She knows what she thinks has been embedded in her since her father has tried to shut her up. It results on Carla s guilty. Besides, she lets the devil sabotage herself. The devil in me... Even at the time of this realisation, I did not fully apprehend that I was literary possessed. The energy I had directed towards the devil as a child did not leave me when I grew out of my religion. It had become a living entity in my body and seemed to have a will of its own. It was the possessing devil. Who sabotaged all my efforts to succeed in life, in order to confuse me and make me think ever worse of myself; who had sabotaged every effort I made to heal myself and thereby expose him (Van Raay 390). Carla also goes to see Tom, an exceptional healer, who has come down from Denmark to Perth for a few days. Tom teaches her a self-acceptance. Tom s words make Carla feel deeply reassured and affirmed. When Carla says that she often feels lonely, Tom chips in immediately. He says that it is not true that Carla will feel alone. He states that Carla can be happy all the time if she finds herself always with God. A great feeling of being loved comes over Carla. She is full of joys that she finds herself simply accepting herself as she is and it feels like coming out of a prison. She says, I always followed the call of God as best as I could. Fear prevented me from doing it better, until it didn t. Now I am simply God s girl. For ever (Van Raay 435). Carla has just learned the first real lesson of her life, self-acceptance. Her new-found freedom is only a beginning. Then, she changes how she calls herself from God s Callgirl to a turn for simply God s Girl. She says I had discovered

67 52 the one thing that makes it impossible for evil to live long in anybody: true and self-acceptance, which is the work of unconditional love. (Van Raay 407). After experiences all above, Carla finally gains what a blessed life is so that she feels happy and full of joys. Carla s feeling of being able to enjoy whatever the moment brings shows that she has found the meaning of her life. There is no suffering anymore. Frankl (172) states that a man must find his meaning of his life responsibility. In this case, Carla s self-acceptance and accepting everything that has happened in her life show that Carla can answer what life asks her. She does not regret to every moment she has passed through her lifetime. She feels truly blessed to have heard the call to wake up to her true self. The feeling of blessed is a reward of her finding the meaning of life. After a long journey dealing with her struggles to find the meaning of life, finally Carla finds it so that she has the meaningful life as God s girl.

68 CHAPTER V CONCLUSIONS AND SUGGESTIONS This chapter is divided into two parts. The first part presents the conclusion of the analysis and the answer of the problem formulated, which outline Carla s characterization and Carla s quest for the meaning of life. The second part presents the suggestions for future researchers who want to conduct researches on Carla Van Raay s God s Callgirl and recommendations for teaching and learning activities. A. Conclusions This thesis deals with two problems. The first problem is how Carla s personality is portrayed in the novel. Applying the theory of character, Carla can be classified into a major character because she appears in the novel more than other characters. She is also a round character because she has complexity in temperament and motivation. She changes in the flow of the story in the novel. Based on the analysis using the theory of characterization to dig out Carla s personality traits, Carla is described as self-reproachful, naive, introvert, vengeful, and open-minded. The second problem aims to analyze Carla s quest for the meaning of life. Her will to meaning can be seen through her struggle to find the meaning of life. She tries to find the meaning of life in each moment of her life since every moment represents a challenge and problem that reserve a question of the 53

69 54 meaning of life. Carla s will to meaning directs her to struggle such as by being a good child for her parents, being a good nun for God, and being God s Callgirl. When Carla is a child, she tries to be a good child for her parents, especially her father. She wants to make her father proud. Carla s struggles to be a good child for her father can be seen on her effort to be a son for him and to keep the secret that he has done sexual abuses to her. Unfortunately, keeping the secret from anyone, especially from a priest, makes her feel sinful. Then, she asks the devil to help her keep away from death. She is afraid of entering the hell because she is a sinful person. Asking the devil s help becomes a problem for Carla. She feels guilty. She feels she has hurted Jesus by making a deal with the devil. When Carla is thirteen, she decides to be a nun. Her willingness to meaning directs her to be a good nun for God who really loves her. She tries to do as well as she can do by doing duties and obeying the rules of living in the convent. She feels happy at the first time, especially when she knows that her father is proud of her, but she faces some problems next time. She cannot take a stand when she finds refusal of her willingness to learn to play piano and to learn to drive a car. It makes her do not have the Spirit of the Society longer. She gets feeling of boredom there and then finally she decides to leave the convent. After Carla leaves the convent, she continues her life into the secular world. She gets married with James and has a relationship with Hal but unfortunately, all is over. From her marriage, she has got a daughter named Caroline who decides to live with James. Then, from her relationship with Hal,

70 55 she has a daughter named Victoria who lives with her after her relationship with Hal ends. As a single parent, Carla needs a job to support her life with. She looks for a job that is easy to get a lot of money and then she decides to be a prostitute. Her willingness to meaning motivates her to find an inspiration for her work as a prostitute. Then, she finds her inspiration unexpectedly at an exhibition of ancient Chinese vases in Perth by naming herself as God s Callgirl with a vision. From her vision of becoming God s Callgirl, Carla shows that she can give herself and others something valuable by her work. Unfortunately, she finds some problems of her work as God s Callgirl that takes her into a condition of noogenic neurosis. She does not get the happiness anymore, even the greatest guilt in her life. It brings her to the meaningless life. The will to meaning motivates Carla to find the meaning of life. She receives Hal s suggestion to go along therapies to solve her problems so that she can find the meaning of life. Finally, Carla can find the meaning of life. She is in conscious control of her life without her father s threat to keep the secret anymore. She is not determined by force outside herself after she breaks her deal with the devil. She is free to choose her own course of action. She has her own freedom in choosing acts with her personal responsibility for the conduct of her lives and the attitude she holds towards her fate by forgiving her father and accepting her past life. It also shows that she is able to manifest attitudinal values. She has transcended the concern with self by accepting herself as she is. That becomes her starting point to continue her meaningful life. By changing her career better as a writer, she shows

71 56 that she is able to manifest a creative value. She has found a meaning in life that suits her as God s girl, which shows that she is able to manifest an experiential value. Next, she directs herself toward the future goals and tasks as God s girl to follow the call of God as best as she can. B. Suggestions This part is divided into two points. The first point proposes the suggestion for the future researchers that will use Carla Van Raay s God s Callgirl as an objest of the study. In this study, the researcher takes the case where the main character searches for the meaning of life. However, there are other cases that are interesting to discuss from the novel. The second point presents the implementation of using literary works for teaching learning activities. As a literary work, novel can give benefits to teachers and students through teaching materials. The first is teachers can help the students to explore the content of the novel to gain more comprehensive knowledge. The second is the teacher can gain the example of life experience in order to teach values of life for the students. 1. Suggestion for Future Researchers Carla Van Raay s God s Callgirl is an interesting novel to discuss since it is based on real life story of the author. In this study, the writer discusses how the main character, Carla, searches and finds the meaning of her life. The writer suggests two aspects which can be discussed by future researchers who want to take Carla Van Raay s God s Callgirl as the object of the study. The first aspect is that the future researchers may use the psychological

72 57 approach to analyze the influence of sexual abuses on Carla s life. The second aspect is that the future researchers are also possible to conduct an analysis on the meaning of becoming God s Callgirl for Carla. 2. Suggestion for Teaching Learning Activities Using Literary Works Literary works such as novels has many advantages for teaching learning activities. As portrayals of real life experiences, they provide the value of life for students. As sources of teaching learning activities, they also broaden the students knowledge from which the students can enrich their vocabularies, explore the style of writing and improve their mastery of language structures. Besides, novels may also become good models of writing that inspire the students to produce creative writings. Considering the advantages of using novels as the source of teaching learning activities, the researcher proposes parts of Carla Van Raay s God s Callgirl to teach short essay 1. Part One on Chapter entitled Life in a New Country which consists of 3 pages is taken as the material since this chapter can be regarded as a good model of recount text. It is supposed to help the students to recognize and analyze the recount text. Furthermore, this model is also hoped to inspire the students to produce their own past experience to compose a recount text. The materials and lesson plan are attached in the appendixes. The procedures of teaching short essay 1 are ordered as follows: 1. The teacher selects a reading passage from the novel as the model of recount text. It is taken from Part One on Chapter entitled Life in a New Country which consists of 3 pages (p.63-65).

73 58 2. The teacher asks a question about the students unforgettable past experiences. 3. The teacher distributes the copy of the materials including the reading passage, the handouts, and worksheet. 4. The teacher gives explanation about a recount text briefly. 5. The teacher asks the students to read the passage individually and then asks them to do the worksheets. 6. The teacher discusses the passage and the answers of the exercises together with the students. 7. The teacher gives explanation more about a recount text. 8. The teacher asks the students to write a good paragraph of recount based on their unforgettable past life experiences. 9. The teacher asks the students to exchange their works and observe it in pairs. 10. The teacher asks the students to submit their work.

74 59 REFERENCES Abrams, H.M A Glossary of Literary Terms. 6 th ed. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich Collage Publisher. Print. Barnet, S., William, B., and William, E.C Literature for Composition: Essay, Fiction, Poetry, and Drama. 7 th Ed. New York: Longman University Press. Print. Forster, E.M Aspects of the Novel and Related Writings. London: Edward Arnold Ltd. Print. Frankl, V.E Man s Search for Meaning: An Introduction to Logotherapy. New York: Beacon Press. Print. Frankl, V.E The Will to Meaning, Foundations and Applications of Logotherapy. New York: The New American Library, Inc. Print. Henkle, R.B Reading the Novel: An Introduction to the Techniques of Interpreting Fiction. New York: Harper and Row, Publishers, Inc. Print. Hornby, A.S Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary. 7 th ed. New York: Oxford University Press. Print. Murphy, M.J Understanding Unseen: An Introduction to English Poetry and the English Novel for Overseas Students. London: George Allen & Unwind Ltd. Print. Petri, H.L. and Govern, J.M Motivation: Theory, Research, and Applications. Michigan: Wadsworth Pub. Co. Print. Raay, C.V God s Callgirl. London: Ebury Press. Print. Rohrberger, M. and Woods, S.H., Jr Reading and Writing about Literature. New York: Random House. Print. Schult, D Growth Psychology: Model of Healthy Personality. New York: D.N. Van Nostand. Print. Stanton, R An Introduction to Fiction. New York: Holt, Rinehart, and Winston. Print.

75 60 Online Sources Geddes, D Man s Search for Meaning A Practical Philosophy: Man s Search for Meaning Viktor Frankl. Amsterdam: The Satirist ( accessed on 14 March 2011). Web Johnson, C Viktor Frankl and Logotherapy. California: Timlebon ( accessed on 14 March 2011). Web Kienlen, L.P Letting Go of Guilt and Shame: the Difference Between Feeling Guilty, Ashamed, and Embarrassed. Nairobi: Quips and Tips Blogs ( accessed on 6 June 2011). Web n.p Quatum Enterprise: Recount Text. New York: Wordpress ( accessed on 6 June 2011). Web n.p Carla Van Raay. New York: Harper Collins Publishers ( ex.aspx accessed on Web. 2 June 2011). Web n.p English: Introduction to Non-fiction Texts. New York: IC Teachers ( accessed on 6 June 2011). Web n.p Guilt or Feeling Guilty Tendency may be an Outcome of Emotional Imbalance. New York: Charming Health ( accessed on 30 May 2011). Web n.p View Definition of Self-reproach. New York: Net Dictionary ( accessed on 6 June 2011). Web n.p What is Logotherapy and Existential Analysis?. New York: Viktor Frankl Institut ( accessed on 14 March 2011). Web n.p Psychiatric Nursing: Open Access Articles on Mental health. New York: AIPPG Net ( accessed on 30 May 2011). Web

76 61 Appendix A Summary of the Novel In God s Callgirl, Carla van Raay shares her life and struggles as a nun, then as a wife and mother in a loveless marriage, and later into prostitution and beyond. Now a public speaker and counsellor for victims of abuse, Carla continues to write with honesty about her astonishing personal journey. Carla is born as a Catholic girl child on 28 October 1938, in a little Dutch town called Tilburg. As a child, Carla van Raay experiences a trauma that changes her forever. When Carla is three years old, her father does sexual abuses to her. Her father threatens Carla not to talk to anyone about this, especially not to the priest. Then, Carla keeps this as her own secret. She cannot share it with anyone. Carla grows as a shy and introvert girl. She feels so guilty and afraid and then she prayed to the evil one because she needs to rely on someone bigger than herself. After awhile, she feels that her prayer has been answered. She survives. Nevertheless, the guilt at her betrayal of God is terrible. In 1950, when Carla is twelve years old, Carla and family move to Australia. Her mother has inherited some money after her grandfather s death, and she is going to spend it on getting them out of Dutch. In Australia, Carla and family live in

77 62 Melbourne. Her father becomes a head gardener at a convent with a cottage for the family. Burdened by the weight of this terrible secret, all she wants to do is survive. Life as a nun promises refuge from the outside world. One day, Carla finds that only Jesus who can really love her. Therefore, she turns her thoughts to Jesus. She transfers her need for love to Jesus when she is thirteen, and entering puberty. She decides that she will become a nun, an ultimate lover of Jesus. February 1957, Carla has become a postulant, one who asks to be admitted to become a nun. Then, the postulancy ends on 8 September After the brave ceremony, her family is there to congratulate her. Her father holds her and kisses her. He is proud of her at last. She has finally succeeded! His daughter s achievement has excited him. Carla hopes to find love and understanding within the convent walls. Instead, she becomes enmeshed in a complex system of regulations that drives her to the brink of madness. Finally released from her vows, Carla enters the secular world with her naivety. She watches the people around her to give her some ideas and listens to their banter. She thinks that she needs a job and becomes an independent woman. Then, she gets married with a man called James. From their married, she gets a daughter named Caroline. Unfortunately, her marriage with James is over because there is a restlessly growing urge in Carla to leave. Then, Carla just lives with Caroline. To fulfil her family needs, Carla needed a job. It is difficult to find a job with high costs so that Carla decides to prostitute her body for good money and has fun, as well.

78 63 After her year s experience with other men, Carla needs someone stronger than her, in every sense. Then, she meets Hal, a man whom she feels in love again. Next, they lives together and gets a daughter, Victoria, in But, unfortunately, this relationship ends because Hal has never actually loved Carla. He gets married to another woman. A hasty marriage and separation leaves Carla with a daughter to support. With few professional skills to rely on from her years as a nun, she turns to another ageold profession - prostitution. She works as an escort to learn the ropes, and then strikes out on her own, setting up a massage service. God s Callgirl is born. When eventually the seamier side of the business begins to assert itself, Carla embarks on a journey to uncover the dark secret of her past. She tries to visit some therapists, which finally she meets Tom who is an exceptional healer. From him, she learns to stop assessing herself all the time. She finds herself simply accepting herself as she is and it feels like coming out of prison. Therefore, this is Carla s starting point: self-acceptance. Through all the process of her life, she knows that life gives her exactly what she needs, all of the time. She feels she has a blessed life. She does not call herself God s Callgirl anymore but God s Girl. Adapted from:

79 64 Appendix B About the Author Carla Van Raay was born into the Catholic south of Holland and came to Melbourne, Australia, with her family in 1950, when she was twelve. She was a radiant child until the age of six, when trauma changed her. Her choice to enter a convent at the age of eighteen was part of her inability to face life. in 1969, when she was almost thirty-one, she found the courage to leave. Carla adjusted to the world without guidance from anyone. She fell in love for the first time in her life more than two years after her marriage. Alone and with a daughter to support, the idea of prostitution came to her. She works as a pimps as an escort to learn the ropes, then struck out on her own. Loving her work at first, the nasty sides of the business gradually asserted themselves. Carla realised that she was being driven by dark forces. The truth eventually became clear and she was able to start healing the abuse of her childhood.

80 65 Carla has been celibate for the last twelve years and now lives in Perth, Western Australia. She is currently working on a series of booklets to accompany her interactive seminars on Radical Innocence. Her website is located at Taken from: Van Raay, Carla. God s Callgirl. London: Ebury Press, 2006

81 66 Appendix C LESSON PLAN Subject Level of Students : Short Essay I : 3 rd Semester of English Study Program Time Allocation : 2 x 50 Material Teaching Method : Part One of Raay s God s Callgirl on Chapter entitled Life in a New Country : Lecture, Pair Work, Discussion, and Sharing I. Competence Standard On completing the course, students are able to write different types of recount texts. II. Basic Competence The students are able to write a recount text. III. Learning Indicators The students are able to recognize a recount text. The students are able to identify the generic structure of recount. The students are able to analyze language feature of recount. The students are able to retell events by composing a recount text.

82 67 IV. Materials Part One of Raay s God s Callgirl on Chapter entitled Life in a New Country (p.63-65) Handouts and Worksheets V. Learning Activities No. Teacher s activities Students activities Time Pre-Activity 1. The teacher greets students. Students greet the teacher 2 2. The teacher gives attention to the entire class and review the previous lesson that teacher taught in the last meeting and relate it to the lesson today Students response the teacher 5 3. The teacher asks students to read the comic strip and talk about their past experiences. Students read the comic strip and talk about their past experiences The teacher asks students to tell their last holiday. Students tell their last holiday. 5 Main-Activity 5. The teacher gives an example of recount text and asks students to discuss the content in pairs. Students read an example of recount text and discuss the content in pairs The teacher gives an explanation of recount text. Students pay attention to the teacher s explanation. 10

83 68 No. Teacher s activities Students activities Time Main-Activitiy 7. The teacher asks students to read a text of the novel God s Callgirl individually. Students read the text individually The teacher asks students to do the exercises on the worksheet in pairs. Students do the exercises on the worksheet in pairs The teacher asks students to discuss the answers to the class. Students discuss the answers to the class The teacher asks students to write their own recount text individually based on their unforgettable past experience. Students write their own recount text individually based on their unforgettable past experience. 20 Post-Activity 11. The teacher asks students to exchange their works and observer it in pairs. Students exchange their works and observer it in pairs The teacher asks students to submit their works and the evaluation from their partner. Students submit their works and the evaluation from their partner The teacher lets students to review the whole lesson today. Students let students to review the whole lesson today The teacher gives closing. Students greet the teacher 2

84 69 VI. Teaching Media Handouts and Worksheet Viewer Dictionary VII. Evaluation The students competences are assessed based on their worksheets and writing production. VIII. Sources Raay, Carla Van God s Callgirl. London: Ebury Press. Print.

85 70 Appendix D Recount Text Read the comic strip Make a conversation about your last holiday! 1. What did you do last holiday? 2. Where did you go? 3. Who did you go with? 4. What did you do there? 5. How did you feel after you did your vacation? Share your experience with your friends!

86 71 Recount Text A Visit to a Sheep Property past tense ORIENTATION EVENT 1 EVENT 2 EVENT 3 RE-ORIENTATION Last holidays I visited a sheep property. I would like to do something useful on my holiday. I wanted to learn something new there. I helped in the shearing sheds in the yards. On the first day the Merino weathers were crutched. I helped by sweeping up after the rouse about picked up the wool pieces. Shearers start early (at 7.30 am). They tried to manage the time to finish their works. After lunch, we started shearing the lambs. There were more than 400 so we didn t finish until the next day. Once again I was sweeping and picking up drags. I was very enjoyed to do that. I was tired by the end of the day in the shed but our work wasn t finished. We all had to help to get the weathers and lambs back into the paddocks. As well, we had to get a mob of ewes and their lambs into the yards for shearing the next day. Then it was time for tea (that s what my nana calls dinner). This was a very long day but I enjoyed it a lot. I felt that I had a nice holiday there. I could learn how to shear sheds. Time conjunction

87 72 Find out Answer the following questions based on the text A Visit to a Sheep Property! 1. Who was involved in the story? 2. Where did the story happen? 3. What is the first event of the story? 4. What is the second event of the story? 5. What is the third event of the story? 6. What the purpose of the writer telling the story? 7. Why do you have to use past tense in the story?

88 73 RECOUNT TEXT Purpose of recount Recounts tell what happened. It is a text which retells past events or experiences in the past. Its purpose is either to inform or to entertain the audience. There is no complication among the participants and that differentiates from narrative. The types of recount can be personal, factual and imaginative recount. Language feature of recount Being written in the first or the third person 1st person is for the person who writes the recount, i.e. I went to the park. 3rd person is for an observer who is telling the recount, i.e. Tom went to the park, he saw a pond there. Introducing personal participant; I, my group, etc. Using chronological connection; then, first, next, after that etc. Using linking verb; was, were, saw, heard, etc. Using action verb; look, go, change, etc. Using simple past tense to tell past events.

89 74 Generic structure of recount Orientation: Introducing the participants, place and time Events: Describing series of event that happened in the past Reorientation: It is optional. Stating personal comment of the writer to the story Use of recount Recount texts can be found in newspaper reports and diaries

90 75 Read the text and then answer the questions on the worksheet 1!

91 76

92 77 Worksheet 1 Read the text to answer the questions below: 1. Give the chronological connections on the appropriate paragraph in order to arrange a good recount text! 2. Highlight the verbs which show the past tense! 3. Highlight the part of the text that deals with who, what, when, where and why! 4. Highlight the words which show you the text is written in the first person. 5. Make a key which shows the colours you have used and the features that key relate too! 6. What does the writer tell about? In what paragraph can you find the records of events? What are stated in the orientation paragraph in the text? What sentence is the reorientation of the text?

93 78 Worksheet 2 Compose your own recount! Name:... Student Number:...

94 79 -Good Luck -