THE SHIFT, the movie, starring Dr. Wayne W. Dyer (available as a 1-DVD program and an expanded 2-DVD set) Watch the trailer at:

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2 A l s o b y M a d i s y n T a y l o r DailyOM: Inspirational Thoughts for a Happy, Healthy, and Fulfilling Day H a y H o u s e T i t l e s o f R e l a t e d I n t e r e s t YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE, the movie, starring Louise L. Hay & Friends (available as a 1-DVD program and an expanded 2-DVD set) Watch the trailer at: THE SHIFT, the movie, starring Dr. Wayne W. Dyer (available as a 1-DVD program and an expanded 2-DVD set) Watch the trailer at: THE ART OF EXTREME SELF-CARE: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time, by Cheryl Richardson AWAKENING TO THE SECRET CODE OF YOUR MIND: Your Mind's Journey to Inner Peace, by Dr. Darren R. Weissman COMMUNICATION WITH ALL LIFE: Revelations of an Animal Communicator, by Joan Ranquet A DAILY DOSE OF SANITY: A Five-Minute Soul Recharge for Every Day of the Year, by Alan Cohen DAILY GUIDANCE FROM YOUR ANGELS: 365 Angelic Messages to Soothe, Heal, and Open Your Heart, by Doreen Virtue HEALING YOUR FAMILY HISTORY: 5 Steps to Break Free of Destructive Patterns, by Rebecca Linder Hintze IT S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD: Developing Resilience in Times of Change, by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. VITAMINS FOR THE SOUL: Daily Doses of Wisdom for Personal Empowerment, by Sonia Choquette WAITING FOR AUTUMN, by Scott Blum All of the above are available at your local bookstore, or may be ordered by visiting: Hay House USA: Hay House Australia: Hay House UK: Hay House South Africa: Hay House India:

3 M a d i s y n T a y l o r HAY HOUSE, INC. Carlsbad, California New York City London Sydney Johannesburg Vancouver Hong Kong New Delhi

4 Copyright 2010 by Madisyn Taylor and DailyMedia, Inc. Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: Published and distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: Published and distributed in the Republic of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast: Published in India by: Hay House Publishers India: Design: Nick C. Welch All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private use other than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews without prior written permission of the publisher. The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Taylor, Madisyn. DailyOM : learning to live / Madisyn Taylor. -- 1st ed. p. cm. ISBN (hbk. : alk. paper) 1. Mind and body. 2. Consciousness. 3. Self. I. Title. BF161.T dc ISBN: st edition, February 2010 Printed in the United States of America

5 C o n t e n t s Preface ix Introduction xi PA RT I: BEING HON EST W I T H YOU R SELF Love or Fear: Where We Are Coming From Life as We Know It: The Status Quo Moving Beyond Definitions: Overidentifying with Labels Shedding Light on Ourselves: Parts That Do Not Want to Heal Cause, Effect, and Transformation: Feeling Depleted No Wrong Response: Experiences Shape Your Reactions Translating Your Feelings: Are You Excited or Scared? Unblocking the Ally: Habitual Anger Beyond Behavior: Defense Mechanisms A Matter of Significance: Recognizing Your Value Hovering Around the Sun: Avoiding the Center PA RT I I: ACC EP T I NG T H E LIFE YOU C REAT E Focusing on the Best You: Comparing Yourself to Others Controlling Your Mind: Unwanted Thoughts It Begins with You: Learning to Love Yourself Stronger Than You Know: Getting All Worked Up You Are Beautiful: Seeing Yourself Nothing Big Required: You Are Enough Integrating Our Many Selves: The Sum of Our Parts Wonderful Vessel: The Amazing Body Emerging Courageous: Walking Through Your Fear Putting Yourself First: Meeting Your Own Needs Learn and Let Flow: We Do Not Need to Suffer

6 PA RT I I I: M A K I NG A C H A NGE Starting Small: Taking Baby Steps in Life Temporarily Out of Balance: Going Through a Phase Life Transitions: The Death and Rebirth of Self Back in the Driver s Seat: The Passenger Tending the Emotions: Having a Breakdown Marinating: Making Our Best Decisions Miracles in Every Day: Joy Always Being Clear about Desires: Getting What We Want The Effect of Not Doing: When We Do Not Take Action A Glimpse of Perfection: Living a Day in Grace One Foot Forward: Finding Your Next Step in Life Signing on the Dotted Line: Making a Contract with Yourself PA RT I V: SEEKING K NOW LEDGE A N D W ISDOM Gathering Intelligence: Different Ways of Knowing Owning Your Tendencies: Understanding All Sides Spiritual Diversification: Expanding Your Sources of Growth Putting Power in Perspective: Always Be for Something The Ultimate Authority: Using Our Own Minds Embracing New Information: Be Open Gathering Our Straying Thoughts: Centering Ourselves Unearthing Your Roots: Knowing Your History Breaking the Wave: The Tipping Point Not Alone in the Dark: Looking at What We Do Not Want to See The Past in Light of the Present: Knowing Better Now PA RT V: T H E I M PORTA NC E OF FA M I LY A N D F R IENDS The Power Behind Us: People Who Support Us Disapproving Faces: Not Everybody Will Like You The Dance of Intimacy: Coming Back to Center in a Relationship Sharing Grief: Opening Up to Receive Comfort

7 Little Gurus: Learning to Follow Freeing Our Inner Desires: Using Our Outside Voices Technology as Distraction: Choosing True Connections Agree to Disagree: Working Through Differences Reaching Out in Our Insular World: Making New Friends Ways to Improve Relationships: Helping Bonds Thrive The Power of Union: Entering into Partnership PA RT V I: DR AW I NG ST RENGT H F ROM NAT U RE Power, Beauty, and Warmth: Keeping the Sun Inside Wild Wisdom: Animals as Teachers Children of Mother Nature: Trees and People Beyond the Small Self: Being a Good Global Citizen Waves of Healing: Ocean Meditation Saying Goodbye with Love: Mourning the Loss of an Animal Friend A Magical Potion: Morning Dew Mysterious Beginnings: The Necessity of Winter Messengers from the Wilderness: Weeds Acknowledging History: Permission from the Land Keeping Things in Perspective: Mountains Co-creating with Nature: Conscious Gardening PA RT V I I: GE T T I NG H ELP F ROM T H E U N I V ERSE Trusting Your Gut: Listening to Intuition Summon Your Aliveness: Being Fully Present Transforming Anger to Light: Give Your Anger to the Earth Avoiding Your True Power: Afraid to Meditate A Full Embrace Excluding Nothing: Finding Peace Within Right Where We Are: Enlightenment at Home Worth the Time: Meditating More When Our Plates Are Full Every Step Is Forward: No Going Back Outlining Your Intentions: Making a List of What You Want Asking and Receiving: Prayer and Meditation Making the Decision: Saying Yes to the Universe

8 PA RT V I I I: WOR K I NG W I T H ENERGY Beyond the Physical: We Are Beings of Light What We Cannot See: The Unseen World Being a Strong Container: Grounding Ourselves Relating to the Negative: The Danger of Repression Removing Obstructions: Allowing Our Light to Shine Graceful Guidance: Working with Angels Tending Your Own Energy Field: Fill Yourself from the Inside Out Eternally Present: Past-Life Healing Spiritual Being Physical Experience: Our Bodies on Earth Increasing the Light: Raise Your Vibration Whole-Self Well-being: How the Body Clears Energy The Art of Focus: Energy Protection PA RT I X : H ELPING OT H ERS Love Shows the Way: We Are Here to Serve Recognizing Our Own Greatness: The Greatness in Others Offering a Container: Holding Space for Others Solace in Service: Doing for Others Acknowledging Our Pain: Rescuing the Rescuer Sharing Wisdom: Becoming a Mentor Giving to Receive: Generosity Owning the Roots: Leading by Example Links That Last: Creating Community In the Presence of Difficulty: Compassion What We Are Made Of: Choose Love Afterword About DailyOM About the Author

9 P r e f a c e I ve often wished people were born with instruction manuals. Each would be different based on what we needed to learn, but the basics would be the same: how to create healthy relationships, how to deal with sorrow and pain, how to reach our goals, and how to know what we want to do with our lives when we grow up. We d continue to have our own unique life lessons, but we d have a guide to refer to when we were feeling overwhelmed or lost. In real life, we don t come with such a manual or a warranty registration card, for that matter to help fix us when we feel broken. What I ve done with this book is the next best thing to a manual. I ve set up tools so that you can actually learn to live your life in accordance with what your soul desires... learning to live the life you were meant to and having a guardian angel in the form of a book to help you along the way. We weren t meant to go through life completely lost, without help, and I believe it s part of my soul s purpose to help people navigate their own lives. ix

10 It is one of my greatest blessings to be able to use my work as a vehicle to help others. In March of 2004, my husband and I started a company called DailyOM, which sends out free inspirational s each weekday to our subscribers. Every day a message of hope, inspiration, peace, and healing is circulated out into the world as it makes its rounds among in-boxes across our great earth. The natural progression of this led me to put out my first book, DailyOM: Inspirational Thoughts for a Happy, Healthy, and Fulfilling Day (Hay House, 2008), which was so well received that a second one was called for. This new book is formatted slightly differently. It s divided into nine basic parts, starting out with Being Honest with Yourself and ending with Helping Others. In between is a magnificent journey of DailyOM stories along with those from my own life so that you can read about times when I ve been in the very same place you may be in, whether that place is one of feeling lost or confused or even at the point of giving up all hope of being happy. An amazing life is waiting for you. Your life. x

11 I n t r o d u c t i o n When I started to talk with people about my first book, I noticed a pattern of frequently asked questions, the most common being: How do you come up with a new DailyOM idea every day? I sometimes wonder myself as I look back on the years without having ever missed a deadline. It became apparent soon after DailyOM was launched that I was to use my life experiences to help others. This gave me great relief, because it seemed a shame to have gone through so much pain, heartache, and growth just for myself without being able to share what I d gained with others. It almost seemed wasted on one person. I ve always been an open book and happy to share what I ve learned with others so that their own journeys may be easier. Soon I developed a system of working with the universe to help fine-tune the DailyOM stories. I decided to pick one day a week when I wouldn t go into the office and would instead stay home and have a meditation day. I picked Tuesday for no particular reason. xi

12 First thing in the morning I sit at my altar and just spend some time there, clearing my head, breathing, and lighting a candle and incense. I then set my intention that this time be for writing down story ideas (five of them at a sitting) and ask to be a clear channel to receive the wisdom of the universe. At that point either I m left completely blank or the messages start coming in strong. I m shown an event or circumstance in my life and start to write down notes. I then feel what it was like to be in that situation, what I went through, the steps I took, and how I healed and moved on. This process usually leaves me with about a paragraph of notes containing the essence of the story, although an entire story has come through all at once before. Often I m asked to go outside, and I always love it when this guidance comes because of my enjoyment of nature and her profound messages. I may feel guided to watch ants or commune with a tree, and I know that a beautiful metaphorical story about nature and humanity will come forth. These are some of my very favorite stories because they re easy for all to access and understand, as they re very disarming to the soul. The next logical question people always ask me is: Do you mind being used in this way? I don t feel used at all, although sometimes I d like a break from the lessons that seem to come every single day. I feel that this is a commitment I made on a soul level, and in return the universe provides for me and I am never without what I need. This work is in me, and even if I wanted to, I couldn t escape it. When I receive s from readers about how these stories have changed their lives, I m brought to my knees in tears of gratitude. There s no greater feeling to me than fulfilling my life s purpose and doing what elevates my soul, what makes it sing. xii

13 You too have the ability to allow your own soul to sing, and like me, you may find it takes a while to learn what it is that makes you happy and fulfilled. The journey is so worth it, and on those days when you just feel like giving up, take a deep breath and know that you are not alone. Blessings, Madisyn xiii

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15 PART I B e i n g H o n e s t w i t h Y o u r s e l f don t think we can fully heal ourselves unless we begin to be honest with ourselves. We tend to think that s what we re doing, but in reality most of us aren t being honest and authentic at all. When we aren t honest within ourselves, how we can be fully honest and present for others? It s as if we re giving them the bits that we want them to see, the bits that we like and feel are worthy of others. We can even fool ourselves into believing that we re a certain way and presenting it to the world, when in fact we re experiencing feelings of deep shame, insignificance, and not being good enough. We justify it by reasoning that if we don t acknowledge all aspects of our being, then surely the bad bits will go away, or we can keep them hidden and under cover. 1

16 Everybody wants to present their best side to the world that s part of being human. But eventually this wears down and becomes a burden and a sham. I find that when I m honest with myself, it becomes so much easier to be honest with others... and to my surprise, it seems to have the effect of their loving me even more for my honesty. My friends now embrace my good, bad, and ugly bits because I do. We don t realize the burden and weight we carry when we re not forthright with ourselves. Try to pick one trait of yours that you re not being truthful about and let it come to the surface don t allow it to hide anymore. Allow your friends and family to be exposed to it and talk about it. You may be surprised by their reaction, and because of your honesty, you may even allow them to reveal more of their authentic selves by being brave enough to do it first. When I started to do press for my first book, I can honestly say I wasn t looking forward to it. I was scared that people wouldn t like me or take me seriously; I was scared I d say the wrong thing, or worse yet, completely blank out. I d purposely stayed hidden for a long time, working anonymously for years with my writing just to avoid being in the public eye, for fear of ridicule. Before my first radio interview I paced the floor, secretly hoping the station would call and cancel it. I changed my shirt twice because I was perspiring so much. The call came and I was on the air. Yes, I was nervous at first, but my hosts put me at ease. Next thing I knew, it was over: 20 minutes had flown by, and I was on a high afterward I wanted to do it again! I realized at that point that sometimes I mix up the feelings of being scared and being excited. If you ve ever had 2

17 to perform onstage, you know the sensation of butterflies beforehand, but then once your performance starts, you re simply flowing in the moment. Eventually some things that I feared about my press tour did happen, including the time when I was talking and then completely lost my train of thought. I was just honest with the host and started to laugh, telling him that I completely forgot what I wanted to say. It was a recorded show, and I asked if he could take that part out. He said he didn t want to because it showed how real I was. We ended up having a good laugh about it together. A wonderful friend once told me that anything worth doing will have some fear attached to it. When I think about all of the things I ve done in my life that have brought on the feeling of being scared, they were the ones I needed to accomplish to get over a hurdle and move to the next level or stage of my life. If it were easy, then there would really be no point, no learning. Many of my lessons are filled with both fear and excitement; it s a bit like getting on a plane and having a fear of flying but knowing I m going somewhere tropical, which is the exciting part. In a complete effort to try to be honest with myself, somewhere along my healing journey, I got stuck. I imagine it s something like what a person on a diet goes through, reaching a plateau and then not losing any more weight. For me it came in the form of a full and sudden halt in my healing process. I found that I could make a big dent in some of my issues, but then progress would stop, almost as if I were putting the brakes on. I ve begun to recognize when I participate in selfsabotage, and I believe I m a master at that, but this feeling 3

18 was different. In order to discover what was going on, I had to go into deep meditation and feel around a bit. In this process, I found that there was a part of me that didn t want to heal. Although it sounds counterintuitive, it made perfect sense. We all have a part of ourselves that is scared, because when we heal, we grow and our hearts open more, and this can make us feel vulnerable. The part of ourselves that is scared and wants to keep us down isn t sabotaging; it is simply protecting us from pain it s doing its job and doing it well. This part of us can be scared for so many different reasons. For me it meant that I would have to go out and face the world and let people know how I feel and what I ve learned, thus opening myself up to ridicule. The part of me that didn t want to heal would keep me home in the form of depression, sickness, and fear of public spaces (agoraphobia). My whole world opened up when I realized what was going on I wasn t broken, I wasn t crazy, and I wasn t inadequate. I always say that the first step to change is realization and awareness, and now I had a profound realization that energized me, and I could use it as a tool to help myself. By starting a conversation with this part of myself that wanted to stay hidden and safe, I was able to make it feel comfortable enough to welcome change. 4

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21 L O V E O R F E A R W H E R E W E A R E C O M I N G F R O M Whether our actions are motivated by fear or love is a classic question of spiritual inquiry. In this line of thinking, it is not what we do that is of paramount importance, but rather the feeling behind what we do. For example, we might pursue a particular type of work out of a fear of poverty; or, alternatively, we might pursue it from a place of loving the work itself. We all know from experience that doing something out of love is qualitatively different from doing the same thing out of fear. Most of us have a balance of the two motivations playing out in our lives, and it can be an interesting experiment to observe ourselves, attempting to notice where most of our motivation comes from. The majority of us fear a run-in with the law, and consciously or unconsciously, we avoid actions that might create that situation. So it is natural to do some things out of fear. However, we could also avoid breaking the law out of love for ourselves and the people who depend on us. This is just 7

22 changing the way we think about things by examining the matter from a different angle, and sometimes that is all that is required to change our experience. If, in the course of our self-examination, we find a great many fear-based actions, we can probably find ways in which they might actually stem from love. For example, instead of thinking that we are working at a job because we fear for our family s survival, we might see that we are doing so because we love our family and this is the best way to support them. Just this simple shift, from working out of fear to working from a place of love, can have the effect of altering our existence without requiring us to change anything. 8

23 L I F E A S W E K N O W I T T H E S T A T U S Q U O When our lives are going well, and sometimes even when they are not, we may find ourselves feeling very attached to the status quo of our existence life as we know it. It is a very human tendency to resist change as if it were possible to simply decide not to do it or have it in our lives. But change will come and the status quo will go... sooner or later, with our consent or without it. We may find at the end of the day that we feel considerably more empowered when we find the courage to ally ourselves with the universal force of change, rather than working against it. Of course, the answer is not to go about changing things at random, without regard to whether they are working or not. There is a time and place for stability and the preservation of what has been gained over time. In fact, the ability to stabilize and preserve what is serving us is part of what helps us survive and thrive. The problem comes when we become more attached to preserving the status quo than to 9

24 honoring the universal givens of growth and change. For example, if we allow a situation we are in to remain stagnant simply because we are comfortable, it may be time for us to summon up the courage to challenge the status quo. This may be painful at times or surprisingly liberating, and it will most likely be a little of both. Underneath the discomfort, we will probably find excitement and energy as we take the risk of unblocking the natural flow of energy in our lives. It is like dismantling a dam inside ourselves, because most of the work involves clearing our own inner obstacles so that the river of our life can flow unobstructed. Once we remove the obstacles, we can simply go with the flow, trusting the changes that follow. 10

25 M O V I N G B E Y O N D D E F I N I T I O N S O V E R I D E N T I F Y I N G W I T H L A B E L S As humans, we possess the tendency to name and categorize things. This applies to everything from plants and animals to styles to ourselves and others. Everyone who walks the earth carries or has carried some label such as white, old, artist, animal lover, parent, child, or liberal which either they themselves or others used to define them. While labels can help us form useful first impressions, they can also act as a thick filter between us and the world. Expectations are derived from labels. When we begin to define others in terms of their profession, looks, wealth, or political background, it becomes harder to accept them unconditionally. And when we define who we are with strict labels, we limit ourselves and our potential by effectively pigeonholing our identities. The challenge lies in finding a balance between that which defines us and our evolving natures. We first learn who we are when we are children. Identity is forged by society, which labels us so-and-so s child, a 11

26 boy or a girl, a reader or a jock, or a shy or outgoing person. This is natural, considering that characterizing others upon first meeting is an automatic process. But when we regard these initial impressions as unchangeable, we deny the fact that we are all blessed with roles that can change from one day to the next or exist simultaneously with other roles. It is possible to be both a parent and an artist, and a runner and a businesswoman. If you were to choose a single role, such as artist, it would limit the paths you could take. If you were, however, to say, I am a creative person, although that creativity is sometimes blocked, it would open new avenues of exploration because you could express your creativity in many ways. People are so much more than what they do or have done, and all are potentially capable of taking on a new identity or letting go of an old one because of emotional or environmental factors. You may choose to be a strongwilled executive at one moment and a nurturing parent at another. Yet you remain wholly you. Although labels can be a good stepping-off point, they are no substitute for understanding who we really are. If everyone was encouraged to look beyond labels, openmindedness and tolerance would be the inevitable result. 12

27 S H E D D I N G L I G H T O N O U R S E LV E S PA R T S T H A T D O N O T WA N T T O H E A L In almost every case, we know what is best for us in our lives, from the relationships we create to the food we eat. Still, somewhat mysteriously, it is often difficult to make the right choices for ourselves. We find ourselves hanging out with someone who leaves us feeling drained, or choosing to eat fast food over a salad. We go through phases where we stop practicing yoga or taking vitamins, even though we feel so much better when we do these things. Often we have no idea why we continue to make the less-enlightened choice, but it is important that we search within ourselves to find out. When we choose that which is not best for us, the truth can be that there is a deep-seated part of us that does not want to heal. We may say it is because we do not have the time or the energy or the resources, but the real truth is that when we do not take care of ourselves, we are falling prey to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage happens unconsciously, which is why it is so difficult to see that we are doing it. The 13

28 important thing to realize is that this part of us that resists our healing is the very one that most needs our attention and love. Even as it appears to be working against us, if we can simply bring it into the light of our consciousness, it can become our greatest ally. It carries the information we need to move to the next level in our healing process. When we recognize that we are not making healthy choices, we might even say out loud, I am not taking care of myself. Sometimes this is the jolt we need to wake up to what is actually happening. Next, we can sit ourselves down in meditation, with a journal, or with a trusted friend to explore the matter more thoroughly. Just shining the light of our awareness on the source of our resistance is sometimes enough to dispel its power. At other times, further effort is required. Either way, we need not fear these parts that do not want to heal. We only need to take them under our wing and bring them with us into the light. 14

29 C A U S E, E F F E C T, A N D T R A N S F O R M A T I O N F E E L I N G D E P L E T E D There are times in our lives when it seems our bodies are running on empty. We are not sick, nor are we necessarily pushing ourselves to the limit rather, the energy we typically enjoy has mysteriously dissipated, leaving only fatigue. Many people grow accustomed to feeling this way because they do not know that it is possible to exist in any other state. The body s natural state, however, is one of energy, clarity, and balance. Cultivating these virtues in our own bodies so that we can combat feelings of depletion is a matter of developing a refined awareness of the self and then making changes based on our observations. A few scant moments of focused self-examination in which you assess your recent schedule, diet, and general health may help you zero in on the factors causing your depletion. If you are struggling to cope with an overly full agenda, prioritization can provide you with more time to 15

30 sleep and otherwise refresh yourself. Switching to a diet containing plenty of nutritious foods may serve to restore your vigor, especially when augmented by supplements like B vitamins or ginseng. Consider, too, that a visit to a healer or homeopath will likely provide you with wonderful insights into your tiredness. But identifying the source of your exhaustion will occasionally be more complicated than spotting a void in your lifestyle and filling it with some form of literal nourishment. Since your earthly and ethereal forms are so intimately entwined, matters of the mind and heart can take their toll on your physical self. Intense emotions such as anger, sadness, jealousy, and regret need fuel to manifest in your consciousness; and this fuel is more often than not bodily energy. Conversely, a lack of mental and emotional stimulation may leave you feeling listless and lethargic. Coping with and healing physical depletion will be easier when you accept that the underlying cause might be more complex than you at first imagined. A harried lifestyle or a diet low in vital nutrients can represent only one part of a larger issue affecting your mood, stamina, and energy levels. When you believe that you are ultimately in control of how you feel, you will be empowered to transform yourself and your day-to-day life so that fatigue can no longer gain a lasting foothold in your existence. 16

31 N O W R O N G R E S P O N S E E X P E R I E N C E S S H A P E Y O U R R E A C T I O N S Our view of the universe is largely determined by our experiences. It is when we are caught off guard by the spontaneity of existence that we are most apt to respond authentically, even when our feelings do not correspond with those of the multitude. Events that arouse strong emotions within us or are surprising in nature can be disquieting, for often it is in their aftermath that we discover how profoundly our histories have shaped us. The differences that divide us from our peers are highlighted in our reactions when these diverge from the mainstream, and this can be highly upsetting because it forces us to confront the uniqueness of our lives. When our response to unexpected news or startling ideas is not the same as that of the people around us, we may feel driven by a desire to dismiss our feelings as irrational or incorrect. But reactions themselves are neither right nor wrong. The forces that sculpted the patterns that to a large 17

32 extent dictate our development are not the same forces that shaped the development of our relatives, friends, colleagues, or neighbors. There is no reason to believe that one person s reaction to a particular event is somehow more valid than another s. How we respond to the constant changes taking place in the world around us is a product of our history, a testament to our individuality, and a part of the healing process that allows us to address key elements of our past in a context we can grasp in the present. Life s pivotal events can provide you with a way to define yourself as a unique and matchless being, but you must put aside the judgments that might otherwise prevent you from gaining insight into your distinct mode of interpreting the world. Try to internalize your feelings without categorizing or evaluating them. When you feel unsure of the legitimacy of your reactions, remember that cultural, sociological, spiritual, and familial differences can cause two people to interpret a single event in widely dissimilar ways. Examining your responses outside of the context provided by others can show you that your emotional complexity is something to be valued, for it has made you who you are today. 18

33 T R A N S L A T I N G Y O U R F E E L I N G S A R E Y O U E X C I T E D O R S C A R E D? When new challenges and opportunities show up in our lives, we may diagnose ourselves as feeling scared when what we really feel is excited. Often we have not been taught how to welcome the thrill of a new opportunity, so we opt to back off, indulging our anxiety instead of awakening our courage. One way to inspire ourselves to embrace the opportunities that come our way is to look more deeply into our feelings and see that butterflies in the stomach and a rapidly beating heart are not necessarily signs that we are afraid. Those very same feelings can be translated as excitement, curiosity, passion, and even love. There is nothing wrong with being afraid as long as we do not let it stop us from doing the things that excite us. Most of us assume that brave people are fearless, but the truth is that they are simply more comfortable with fear because they face it on a regular basis. The more we do this, the more we feel excitement in the face of challenges rather 19

34 than anxiety. The more we cultivate our ability to move forward instead of backing off, the more we trust ourselves to handle the new opportunity whether it is a job, an exciting move, or a relationship. When we feel our fear, we can remind ourselves that maybe we are actually just excited. We can assure ourselves that this opportunity has come our way because we are meant to take it. Framing things just a little differently can dramatically shift our mental state from one of resistance to one of openness. We can practice this new way of seeing things by saying aloud: I am really excited about this job interview, I am really looking forward to going on a date with this amazing person, or I am excited to have the opportunity to do something I have never done before. As we do so, we will feel our energy shift from fear, which paralyzes, to excitement, which empowers us to direct all that energy in the service of moving forward, growing, and learning. 20

35 U N B L O C K I N G T H E A L L Y H A B I T U A L A N G E R Sometimes when we feel anger, it is coming from a deep place that demands acknowledgment and expression. At these times, it is important that we find healthy ways to honor it, remembering how dangerous it is to repress it. However, anger can also become a habit, our go-to emotion whenever things go wrong. Often this is because, for whatever reason, we feel more comfortable expressing it than we do other emotions, like sadness. It can also be that getting mad gives us the impression that we have done something about our problem. In these cases, our habitual anger is inhibiting our ability both to express our other emotions and to take action in our lives. If it is true that anger is functioning this way in your life, the first thing you might want to try is to notice when you experience it. You may begin to see a pattern of some kind. For example, you could notice that it is always your first response, or that it comes up a lot in one particular 21

36 situation. If the pattern does not become clear right away, you could try keeping a journal about when you get angry and see if you can find any underlying meaning. The good thing about a journal is that you can explore your anger more deeply in it from examining who in your family of origin expressed a lot of rage to noting how you feel when you encounter this emotion in others. This kind of awareness can be a formidable agent of transformation. Anger can be a powerful ally, since it is filled with energy that we can harness and use to create change in the world. It is one of the most cathartic emotions, and it can also be a very effective cleanser of the emotional system. However, when it becomes a habit, it actually loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth. Identifying the role anger plays in your life and restoring it to its proper function can bring new energy and expansiveness to your emotional life. 22

37 B E Y O N D B E H AV I O R D E F E N S E M E C H A N I S M S We all have defense mechanisms that we have developed over time, often without being aware of it. In times of trouble, the behaviors that have worked to get us past challenges with the least amount of pain are the ones that we repeat... even when part of us knows they no longer work. Such behavior is a natural response from the mental and physical aspects of our being. But because we are spiritual beings as well, we have the ability to rise above habits and patterns to see the truth that lies beyond. And from that moment on, we can make choices that allow us to work directly from that place of truth within us. Most of our defense mechanisms were developed in childhood from the moment we realized crying would get us the attention we craved. Passive-aggressive ways of communicating may have allowed us to obtain what we needed without being scolded, punished, or laughed at, so we learned to avoid being direct and honest. Some of us may 23

38 have taken refuge in the lives of others, discovering ways to divert attention away from ourselves entirely. Throwing ourselves into projects or rescuing others from themselves can be effective ways to avoid dealing with our own issues. And when people are truly helped by our actions, we get the added bonus of feeling heroic. But while defenses can keep away the things we fear, they can also work to keep our good from us. When we can be honest with ourselves about what we truly desire, then we can connect our desires to the creative power of the spirit within us. Knowing that we are one with the energy of the universe allows us to release any need for defense. Trusting that power, we know that we are exactly where we are meant to be, and that challenges bring gifts of growth and experience. When we can put down arms raised in defense, then we are free to use our hands, minds, hearts, and spirits to mold and shape our abundant energy to create and live our lives. 24

39 A M A T T E R O F S I G N I F I C A N C E R E C O G N I Z I N G Y O U R V A L U E It can be easy sometimes to buy into the illusion of our own insignificance. We may see large corporations or institutions, celebrities, or successful people in our community and compare ourselves to them, thinking that their material power or fame affirms how little our own lives amount to. But nothing could be further from the truth. Every single one of us matters tremendously. Our very existence affects countless people in countless ways. And because we are each essentially a microcosm of the larger universe, our internal experiences affect the whole of life more than we could ever imagine. The world simply could not exist as it does now if you, or any one of us, were not in it. Perhaps you are aware that on some level you believe your life does not matter. If this thought resonates within you, maybe it is time to explore why you feel this way. You may have formed self-rejecting or belittling beliefs as a child to keep yourself safe or to help make sense of 25

40 confusing situations. You may have felt unseen or unheard and decided that there was something wrong with you, rather than with the attention span of the people around you. Spend some time looking into where these feelings of insignificance first took root, and see what changes you might be able to make in your life and in your heart. This one belief in your own unimportance could be limiting you and affecting your life in enormous ways. When you shift your perceptions around your own ability to affect your life and impact the world, you may discover wonderful parts of yourself that you had long ago forgotten. There may even be exciting new parts that you never knew existed. When you gain awareness of how much your life really does matter, fresh sources of energy can emerge and your sense of connection with the world is renewed. 26

41 H O V E R I N G A R O U N D T H E S U N A V O I D I N G T H E C E N T E R It is funny to imagine our lives as things we spend a lot of time avoiding, because it seems like that would be impossible to do. Our lives consist of everything we engage in, from showering to sleeping, but also a lot of busywork that distracts us and keeps us from looking within. Experiencing life from the inside means taking time each day to simply be alone and quiet in the presence of our souls. Many of us are so out of practice that it is almost unnerving to have a moment to ourselves. As a result, we may have stopped trying to carve out that time to take a seat at the center of our lives. One of the reasons why it can be uncomfortable to sit with ourselves is because when we do, we tend to open ourselves to an inner voice, which might question the way we are living or some of the choices we are making. Sometimes the voice reminds us of our secret, inner yearnings dreams we thought we had forgotten. When we already feel 27

42 overwhelmed by our busy schedules, the idea of hearing this voice can sound exhausting. However, its reflections are the cords that connect us to our authentic selves, and they are the very things that make life worth living. When we continually avoid connecting with our lives, we risk losing out on the very purpose of our existence. To begin the process of being more present and less absent in your life, you might want to set aside just a few minutes each day to simply sit with yourself. This does not mean watching a movie or reading a book, but taking time daily for self-examination in order to avoid the avoidance to be with yourself in an open way. After a while, you may start to enjoy this part of the day so much that you make less busywork for yourself so that you can spend more time at the center of your own life, rather than hovering like a planet around the sun. 28

43 t h a n k y o u I hope you have enjoyed reading the first section of my new book. As you can see from the Table of Contents, there are nine sections in all starting with Being Honest with Yourself and ending with Helping Others. This book is meant to serve as a guide to making positive change in your life and living your life to it's fullest potential. I'll be holding your hand the entire time as we take baby steps together while Learning to Live. Be well, Madisyn

44 A b o u t D a i l y O M DailyOM features a universal approach to holistic living for the mind, body, and spirit and supports people who want to live a conscious lifestyle. You can find more DailyOM, register for a free daily inspirational newsletter, or take online courses that can help you on your journey of healing and awareness on the DailyOM Website: www. dailyom.com.

45 A b o u t M a d i s y n T a y l o r Best-selling author Madisyn Taylor is the co-founder and editor-in-chief of the popular inspirational Website DailyOM ( and she is responsible for all its content. A recognized leader in self-help and New Thought spirituality, she has more than 15 years experience in personal development and alternative-healing methodologies. When not working, Madisyn can be found meditating in her garden and communing with nature. She lives in Ashland, Oregon, with her husband, Scott Blum, and their son, Oliver.