Vitriol in Gay Marriage Debating Hurting Everyone. President of Understanding Same-Gender Attraction, an unofficial Brigham Young University

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1 Tony Lamph English 1010 Rhetorical Analysis Essay July 1, 2013 Vitriol in Gay Marriage Debating Hurting Everyone This is a personal essay written by Adam White, a Mormon and gay man who is the President of Understanding Same-Gender Attraction, an unofficial Brigham Young University community. It was published in the Daily Herald, a Utah County newspaper, during a time of much political debate over same-sex marriage. Specifically, it was published just a little over a month after former President Bill Clinton claimed in the Washington Post that he now opposed DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act), which he signed nearly twenty years ago. This essay was also published just days before the announcement of the decision by the Boy Scouts of America to lift its ban on gay Boy Scouts (Richinick). In this essay, the author does an excellent job of appealing to ethos, logos, and pathos to communicate his point effectively, regardless of the reader s personal opinion on same-sex marriage. The author established ethos or credibility immediately in his essay by stating that he is the President of an unofficial community at Brigham Young University that provides an open and respectful forum for students, faculty, and friends to discuss Mormonism and Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender and Questioning/Same-Sex Attraction (LGBTQ/SSA) issues. Although it may seem misleading/damaging to ethos that the community is unofficial, it is important to know that this organization is considered unofficial relative to BYU because officially

2 supporting homosexual behavior (not same-sex attraction alone) violates the Honor Code of that school ( Academic Catalog ). Therefore, the fact that this organization is unofficial at BYU is not damaging to ethos because it probably would be considered official at other institutions. He also goes on to establish ethos by stating that he too is a Mormon and a gay man. This appeals to Ethos because he has personal experience/knowledge on the topic of same-sex equality. However, this may mean that he may also have some biased opinion on this issue as well. The author establishes logos by stating his claims, providing main points, and providing supporting evidence for his claims. The author s main claim is that our nation needs to develop true listening skills because it is not gay marriage that is threatening the family, If anything is destroying the family these days, it is the inherently divisive strategies we use to communicate with one another. Furthermore, he claims that before we take a personal stance on gay marriage, we should reach out with open minds and really, truly listen and dig deep. Be generous and kind, and seek understanding. In other words, seek understanding of each side before we judge and form our own opinions. The first main point of his argument is that he is proud that his organization has been able to establish an environment of true listening and true respect and gives evidence that they have done so despite the different political views and opinions on gay marriage of its members. This claim and supporting evidence is a little biased being that he is the President of the organization, so it could be strengthened by an outside opinion of someone that is not an actual member of the organization. Next, it is clear that he feels that our entire nation needs to develop these true listening skills. He states that recently in the wake of much political discussion on same-sex marriage, social media has been full of vitriol (cruel and bitter criticism) between those who feel that same-sex marriage will ruin America and those who

3 support marriage equality that have been badly affected by conservative religion. There are even more who fall somewhere in between these two extremes and who are not quite sure of what their stance is on this issue, and between all of these opinions, no one is being heard. This point could be strengthened by providing specific examples, such as actual Facebook and Twitter posts/responses on each side of the issue. He also claims that there has been severe damage done in the Mormon community by these differing opinions on gay marriage. He provides evidence to this claim by listing examples of stories he has heard from many who have been shunned by their families because they support same-sex marriage. This has caused many people to be very sad, leave their church, and sometimes attempt or commit suicide. Again, he could strengthen this point by providing specific examples/actual quotes and references of people who have had these experiences. He also makes an interesting point that those against gay marriage are also somewhat persecuted against in our country. He provides evidence to this point by explaining some reasons that Mormons may take the stance that they do. Although it initially appears that he is appealing to more than one audience/side of the issue, this information actually strengthens logos by providing possible understanding for why some take the stance that they do and how religion impacts and confounds the issue. Finally, he makes the point that good people are getting hurt and good people are doing the hurting. He provides support for this claim by stating that many are acting in fear, and out of this fear we get anxious, do not listen, and lash out with what we know. Being loud and proud can mask our fear. The ironic thing is, our fears are something we all have in common, so there is a lot we can learn from listening to each other. This last statement provides overall support to his main claim that it is not same-sex marriage that is destroying our families, it is the lack of listening and understanding of others and overall lack of effective communication that is doing so.

4 Finally, the author establishes Pathos by appealing to an audience of anyone who is affected by the issue of same-sex attraction and equality issues, anyone who knows someone impacted by this issue, and anyone who is associated with the LDS church. He provides examples of the pain and disappointments those who are shunned by their families feel because of their same-sex attraction or support of same-sex equality, as well as the tragic consequences that can occur because of this. Whatever the reader s stance is on the issue, many will feel compassion and empathy to those experiencing these difficulties, which may encourage them to not necessarily change their opinion on the issue, but change how they listen to, judge, talk about, and act towards those who are struggling with these differences in their personal feelings and the opinions of their church, families, and communities. Overall, the author did an excellent job of using the rhetorical triangle to establish ethos, logos, and pathos in his essay by establishing credibility, providing specific points and good evidence to support each point, and encouraging listening and understanding by helping the audience to feel compassion and empathy to those struggling with this issue, regardless of the reader s personal stance on the same-sex marriage topic. Although it might appear that the author is really trying to get his audience to support same-sex marriage and equality because he, himself is gay, he does a good job of presenting both sides of the issue and that each side may have valid reasons behind their opinions. Therefore it is important to really seek out the reasoning behind each stance by actually listening first without judgment or condemnation. Doing so will facilitate more respectful and effective communication between all sides of the issue.

5 Works Cited: Richinick, Michele. "Timeline: The evolution of same-sex marriage." The Cycle. MSNBC, 06 Jun Web. 1 Jul < "Undergraduate Catalog." Church Educational System Honor Code. Brigham Young University, n.d. Web. 1 Jul < White, Adam. "Essay: Vitriol in gay marriage debating hurting everyone." Herald Extra. Daily Herald, 16 Apr Web. 1 Jul < valley/essay-vitriol-in-gay-marriage-debating-hurting-everyone/article_3da007c9-e774-54e5-a6d4-3289ec075b1a.html>.