Issue 205: March 22, Our First Seder

Transcription

1 Current Web Magazine Issue - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 3 3/22/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE powered by FreeFind Find Featured Partners/Funders/Links Login Login Name: Password: Home > > Current Web Magazine Issue Web Magazine Passover/Easter Issue 205: March 22, 2007 FEATURED ARTICLES Our First Seder Print entire issue By Faye Rapoport DesPres A Jewish woman and her non-jewish boyfriend invite their parents over for Passover. And forget to defrost the turkey. Read More If He Believes in God, Will He Leave Me Someday? By Rebecca Gopoian Every Easter they have an argument about faith. Read More ALSO IN THIS ISSUE What We Learned from the 2007 Passover/Easter Survey By Micah Sachs Learn how interfaith families raising Jewish children celebrate the holidays. Also available in PDF format. Read More More Articles on Passover and Easter A Sticky Situation By Kia Silverman Can you raise kids Jewish if you celebrate Christmas and Easter? Making Passover Work in an Interfaith Home By Abby Spotts Not Signed Up? Find Out More. A woman who grew up in a religious home adjusts to a slightly more liberal approach to celebrating the holiday with her Catholic husband. The Reluctant Son-in-Law Interview by Ronnie Friedland

2 Current Web Magazine Issue - InterfaithFamily.com Page 2 of 3 3/22/2007 Both of Tom's kids are intermarried, but their spouses have very different responses to taking part in the seder. Passover in Interfaith Families: Three Essays from InterfaithFamily.com, with Discussion Guide, Tips, Recommended Resources and Activities for Children (requires login) By InterfaithFamily.com A helpful resource for initiating discussion in outreach and synagogue groups. Also available in PDF format. Recipes Gremchelich and Easter Eggs: Recipes for a Dutch Seder By Judith van Praag The daughter of an interfaith family recalls the "carbohydrate heaven" of her youth. From Our Article Archive Sharing the Passover Seder with Guests of Other Faiths, Plus Recipes By Jayne Cohen Seasoned matzah, smoked whitefish gefilte fish with lemonhorseradish sauce, chicken soup with asparagus and shiitakes and mango and cherry macaroon crumble. Special Report on Patrilineal Descent The Truth About Matrilineal Descent By J.R. Wilheim Ever wonder why traditional Judaism recognizes only the children of Jewish mothers as Jews? The answers might surprise you. Arts and Entertainment Interfaith Celebrities: Play Ball! By Nate Bloom Interfaith major leaguers, plus "The Shield's" Michael Chiklis. Books The Four Questions Meet the Four Noble Truths By Louise Crawford A meditating mom reviews the Haggadah for Jews & Buddhists. Jewish Holidays 101: A Book About Jewish Holidays for Non-Jews By Tracy Hahn-Burkett Lost at the seder? A new book gives a good foundation for understanding Jewish celebrations.

3 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 2 3/21/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE Life-Cycle Ceremonies Holidays Shabbat Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur The December Holidays Passover and Easter Other Holidays Relationships Spirituality Arts and Entertainment News and Opinion InterfaithFamily.com InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE Featured powered by FreeFind Find Home > Article Archive > Holidays > Passover and Easter For more information, visit our Passover and Easter Resource Page. Our First Seder By Faye Rapoport DesPres Two years ago, and for the first time, my parents and brother traveled from upstate New York to my house in Waltham, Mass., to attend a Passover seder. And it wasn't just my "house" at which we were gathering--it was the "home" I was sharing with Jean-Paul, who has since become my husband. It was the first family holiday we would host in our home. Jean-Paul's mother was also invited, and it would be the first time she'd be meeting my parents. The decision to hold the seder at our house that year was primarily a logistical one. It would have been a long drive for Jean-Paul's mother to travel to my parents' home in upstate New York for the dinner, and my father had been ill that year, making it difficult for my mother to plan and prepare a traditional holiday meal. I was surprised when my parents agreed with my plan to host the seder, as my father has always felt strongly about holding a traditional seder at their home. Although the home I grew up in wasn't kosher, at the seder we ate only kosher food, and we ate it on special holiday plates. We read the introductory prayers in Hebrew, recited the story of Moses from a Conservative haggadah, and my younger sister asked the Four Questions. Our family held both first and second night seders until recently, and we observed the tradition of abstaining from eating bread for eight days. Although Passover can be a festive holiday, and my mother made a special effort to prepare a delicious meal of traditional foods, the seders in my parents' home were often tinged with sadness. My father, a Holocaust survivor, could not shake the memory of the seders held in Europe before or during the war. At the point where the hagaddah asks us to thank God for defending our people from harm in every generation, my father would usually put down the book, and explain, painfully, that he could not say that part. He wondered, as many Jews do, where God was during the Holocaust. Jean-Paul had been to one or two seders before, but he wasn't overly familiar with the Passover holiday. He asked me questions about what to expect, helped me figure out how to arrange the dining room, and light-heartedly offered to cook a turkey since I'm a terrible cook. He was interested in the customs and wanted to help in whatever way he could. Jean-Paul has always felt that it is important that we establish our own traditions in our home, which he has agreed will be a Jewish one. As Passover approached, Jean-Paul noticed my increasing nervousness and tolerated my anxiety. My brother would sit at the head of the table and run the seder, since my father hadn't been feeling well. Although I thought my brother might enjoy the opportunity to lead our holiday dinner for the first time, I worried about how my father would feel. My sister and her family live in California, so they wouldn't be attending. I wanted everything to be right for my parents, and especially for my father. I know that it would have meant a lot to him if I had found a Jewish partner. He grew up in a world where people sat shiva, the Jewish mourning ritual, for sons or daughters who intermarried. Yet despite his background, my father has come a long way over the years in his level of acceptance. He loves Jean-Paul. Still, I wanted him to be comfortable at the seder, and I was overcome with worry that he wouldn't feel that our home, or our seder, was "Jewish enough." My mother, over the telephone, helped me make sure we'd have everything we needed. She said she would bring the hagaddahs and the soup, instructed me in the making of the matzah balls, reminded me of the symbolic foods that would be needed to fill the traditional Passover plate, and sent me a couple of her traditional recipes.

4 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 2 of 2 3/21/2007 Partners/Funders/Links Login Login Name: Password: Not Signed Up? Find Out More. It was also important that Jean-Paul's mom, who had never attended a seder, would feel comfortable. Both she and her son were a little nervous about having to read aloud from a book over dinner. Still, she claimed to be looking forward to the evening. The morning of the seder, Jean-Paul realized that he had forgotten to defrost the turkey. We tried to laugh instead of panic, and spent the day turning it every half hour in a sink full of water while we prepared the dining room and the rest of the food. By the time our guests arrived, the table was set with festive paper plates and wine glasses, and looked much like the holiday tables I'd sat at all my life. Jean-Paul's mom arrived beautifully dressed and greeted my parents. Although this was their first meeting, everyone immediately seemed comfortable. When we sat down to the meal, my brother, who took his role seriously and had prepared some thoughts and ideas about the Passover traditions, explained different aspects of the holiday and led the group through sections of the hagaddah. Throughout the evening I stole anxious glances at my parents to try to determine from their faces if they thought our Passover table was "Jewish enough." They graciously took part in everything, and at the end of the evening, before driving home, they hugged me goodbye and assured me that everything had been wonderful. So did Jean-Paul's mom. Looking back two years later, I realize how generous everyone was to me that night. Jean- Paul and his mom took part in a holiday that wasn't their own, and attended with open hearts, asking questions and even helping read from the hagaddah. My parents set aside any feelings they might have had about my lack of a Jewish partner and embraced Jean-Paul, his mom and my new home. My brother stepped up to the plate and ran a meaningful and educational seder that could have been confusing and awkward for the newcomers, but wasn't. And me? At 42 I was like a little girl trying to be a grown woman for the first time in my life, hosting the Passover seder in my new home. In the end, I did help carry on a tradition that has lasted for thousands of years, one that survived the Holocaust and will continue to survive--and thrive--in the life my husband and I are building together. Faye Rapoport DesPres is a writer currently living in Waltham, Mass. Her work has appeared such publications as The Intermountain Jewish News, The Jewish Chronicle, The Rockland Review, Animal Life, The Chatham Courier and The New York Times. Faye is also the "Editor-in-Woof" of an animal lovers' e- newsletter titled Our Place to Paws. InterfaithFamily.com P.O. Box 428, Newton, MA network@interfaithfamily.com Privacy Policy

5 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 2 3/21/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE Life-Cycle Ceremonies Holidays Shabbat Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur The December Holidays Passover and Easter Other Holidays Relationships Spirituality Arts and Entertainment News and Opinion InterfaithFamily.com InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE Featured powered by FreeFind Find Home > Article Archive > Holidays > Passover and Easter For more information, visit our Passover and Easter Resource Page. If He Believes in God, Will He Leave Me Someday? By Rebecca Gopoian When my Jewish mother married my Armenian father, her parents refused to attend the wedding and didn't speak to her for several years because he wasn't a Jew. Eventually, they resumed contact, and we maintained a friendly relationship with my grandparents and some of my cousins. But a sense of distrust remained. We tiptoed around the subject of my mother's break with Judaism and the intensity of her family's disapproval. As a child I felt responsible, like any wrong move on my part would cause another rupture. I came away with the belief that religion could make people do crazy things, could sever otherwise strong relationships. My mixed feelings about religion were part of the package when my husband, David, and I got married. Since then, I've become a lot more accepting of the increasingly important role God plays in his life. But I am still resistant to the idea. His belief in God means only good things to him, but some part of me fears that if he believes in God, he will leave me someday. We used to celebrate one night of Passover at my grandparents' home with my mother's brother, his wife and daughters. They were Orthodox Jews, and the traditional seder was conducted in Hebrew by my grandfather and uncle. The rest of us sat quietly and listened as they read through the hagaddah very quickly. I don't doubt that pronouncing each word was deeply meaningful to them, but to me, the experience was about sitting through a stream of unintelligible sounds. I liked dipping the foods in salt water and the Four Questions, which I recited in English. On the whole, it didn't seem like a particularly spiritual or communal event, although who am I to judge what the others felt? After my grandfather died, the seder took place at my uncle's home, and we were not invited anymore, since we would have to drive from New Jersey to Queens in order to attend, and this broke a rule about driving on the first two days of Passover. My grandfather had overlooked this in order to maintain the family connection, but my uncle, for whatever reason, would not allow it. My mother always hosted her own seder anyway, so we continued with this tradition, using a secular humanist hagaddah, inviting all the non-religious Jews in the family and frequently a non-jew or two. Over the years, these seders have been lively and a lot of fun for the kids (not a lot of reading, lots of dipping and eating). David and I often find ourselves shushing the other guests so we can listen to and contemplate the story. I surprise myself by wanting our Passover celebration to be more sacred, more focused on the meaning of the holiday. Although I am still conflicted about what role religion should play in my life and the lives of my two young children, I now acknowledge my curiosity about religion and my desire for something holy in my life. Traditionally, my family celebrates Easter by decorating eggs. We do it the usual way, with food coloring, crayons and Q-Tips, and the Armenian way, by dying them with brown onion skins. When the eggs dry, we each choose one to compete in an egg-tapping contest. The last egg to crack is the winner, and as a reward, its owner gets to bask in the glory of having chosen the superior egg. We don't talk about spring and rebirth. We certainly don't mention Jesus or the resurrection. We tap eggs and eat candy. For David, who was brought up in an Irish-Italian Catholic household until he was about 9, our secular celebration of Easter is not enough. He is not a Catholic or even a Christian, really, but he grew up in the church and still finds meaning there. A few years ago, despite my trepidation, we attended a Catholic Mass together for Easter. I

6 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 2 of 2 3/21/2007 Partners/Funders/Links Login Login Name: Password: Not Signed Up? Find Out More. walked away feeling like the story of the resurrection might give me nightmares. We had an intense argument afterward while walking along a dried-up brook in Nyack, N.Y. David didn't like the service either, but the holiday brought up this conflict between us: his desire to share his connection to God, and my anger, fear and lack of belief. The following year, after an argument on a rugged path near a highway in Teaneck, N.J., we went back to egg tapping. But the year after that, we gave it another try, this time attending All Souls Unitarian Church in Manhattan, with our 18-month-old daughter in tow and a new baby boy growing inside my belly. The choral music was lovely and the discussion of Easter was much less terrifying than at the Catholic Church. But, despite the openness of the sermon and the fact that the church hosts a Passover seder, All Souls is still a church, and as a Jew, I did not feel comfortable there. Thankfully, neither did David. So far in our married life, our Easter tradition has involved having an argument about God. I guess this is not such a bad thing. It has kept the question alive and forced us to reconcile our beliefs in some way. The arguments have decreased in intensity over the years, as my distrust of religious belief has lessened, and David's needs have clarified. It turns out that he really just wants to hear some beautiful Easter music in a church setting. There is no need for me to sit through a spooky sermon or for him to be unfulfilled by my family's unsanctimonious egg-dyeing ritual. There is still a tremendous difference of faith between us, and both of us have some fear about what this means for our relationship. But in the simplest terms, David and I agree that Easter is about rebirth, and Passover is about survival. Rebirth and survival are certainly worthy of celebration, especially for my Jewish-Armenian-Irish-Italian children, whose great grandparents nearly didn't make it. Poetry and prose by Rebecca Gopoian have appeared in elimae, the Denver Quarterly, Taint, Tarpaulin Sky, Sleeping Fish, Margie, the Avatar Review, Bombay Gin, and VeRT. She was born in Teaneck, N.J., and now lives in Queens, N.Y., with her husband, the cartoonist David Heatley, and their two children, Maya and Samuel. InterfaithFamily.com P.O. Box 428, Newton, MA network@interfaithfamily.com Privacy Policy

7 What We Learned from the 2007 Passover/Easter Survey By Micah Sachs Introduction While the confluence of Passover and Easter is not as culturally prominent as the so-called December dilemma, deciding how to celebrate these major religious holidays is one of the key potential conflicts in interfaith families. In February 2007, we conducted our third annual Passover/Easter Survey to determine the attitudes and behaviors of people in interfaith relationships during Passover and Easter. The survey attracted 684 responses more than three times the number of responses we received in Of those 684 respondents, 500 said they were in interfaith relationships. Of those 500, 333 have children. Of those 333, 236, or 70%, were raising their children solely in the Jewish religion. Nationally, 33 to 39 percent of interfaith couples are raising their children solely in the Jewish religion, according to the National Jewish Population Study. This report focuses on the responses of the 236 survey participants who are in interfaith relationships and raising their children solely in the Jewish religion. The report does not reflect the behaviors of interfaith couples in general, or the behaviors of all interfaith couples with children. The goal of this report is to determine how interfaith families raising their children Jewish deal with the competing demands of the two holidays. We chose to focus on this population for several reasons: 1. One of the goals of our organization is to promote interfaith couples raising their children Jewish. We therefore want to know more about the exact dynamics of how this works, especially during potential periods of conflict, such as when Passover and Easter overlap. 2. Jewish community policy-makers are focusing increasing attention on engaging interfaith families with the Jewish community with the end goal of the families deciding to raise their children Jewish. As a recently published study on the American Jewish population noted, There is increasing evidence that more intermarried families are choosing to raise children Jewishly Many studies of intermarriage have looked at intermarried Jews as an undifferentiated group and failed to make the important distinction between those intermarried couples that have chosen to 1 Leonard Saxe, Elizabeth Tighe, Benjamin Phillips and Charles Kadushin, Reconsidering the Size and Characteristics of the American Jewish Population: New Estimates of a Larger and More Diverse Community (Waltham, Mass.: Steinhardt Social Research Institute, 2007), 29. P.O. Box 428 Newton, MA phone: fax: Ginny Wise, Chair, Board of Directors Edmund Case, President & Publisher, edc@interfaithfamily.com Heather Martin, Vice President, heatherm@interfaithfamily.com Micah Sachs, Online Managing Editor, micahs@interfaithfamily.com Ronnie Friedland, Web Magazine Editor, ronnief@interfaithfamily.com Amy Rovin, Community Connections Coordinator, amyr@interfaithfamily.com Susan Edni, Administrative Assistant, susane@interfaithfamily.com

8 create a Jewish home and those who have not. This report, like our previous reports on the behaviors and attitudes of interfaith couples during the December holidays, is one of the few to date that has looked at the behaviors of those interfaith families who are raising their children Jewish. P.O. Box 428 Newton, MA phone: fax: Ginny Wise, Chair, Board of Directors Edmund Case, President & Publisher, edc@interfaithfamily.com Heather Martin, Vice President, heatherm@interfaithfamily.com Micah Sachs, Online Managing Editor, micahs@interfaithfamily.com Ronnie Friedland, Web Magazine Editor, ronnief@interfaithfamily.com Amy Rovin, Community Connections Coordinator, amyr@interfaithfamily.com Susan Edni, Administrative Assistant, susane@interfaithfamily.com

9 The Report Please note: Throughout the report, unless otherwise noted, respondents refers to respondents to the survey who are intermarried, have raised or are raising children and have raised or are raising their children exclusively Jewish. This is not a report on all interfaith couples, or all interfaith couples with children. These figures should not be reported as representative of all interfaith families. The great majority of the 236 respondents plan on participating in Passover activities. More than threequarters plan on attending a seder, telling the Passover story or eating matzah. Only an insignificant minority don t plan on participating in Passover celebrations at all. A majority even plan on following the dietary restrictions for most or all of the eight days of Passover. 2. What Passover activities, if any, do you plan to participate in this year? Count % (of 236) Host seder % Attend seder % Tell the Passover story % Eat matzah % Follow dietary restrictions for most or all eight days of Passover % Will not participate in Passover celebrations 2 0% Table 1. Passover Activities of Respondents Meanwhile, they plan on participating in significantly fewer Easter activities, and few plan on participating in the more religious Easter activities like attending religious services (15%), hosting Easter dinner (8%) or telling the Easter story (3%). The most common Easter activity is attending Easter dinner (41%). The stark contrast between the number of people hosting Easter dinner and the number of people attending Easter dinner suggests that Easter is a holiday primarily celebrated outside of the home. Nearly one-quarter (24%) don t plan on participating in Easter celebrations at all. Page 3 of 19

10 6. What Easter activities, if any, do you plan on participating in this year? Count % (of 236) Attend religious services 36 15% Decorate eggs 79 34% Participate in an Easter egg hunt 78 33% Host Easter dinner 19 8% Attend Easter dinner 96 41% Tell the Easter story 8 3% Will not participate in Easter celebrations 57 24% Table 2. Easter Activities of Respondents Despite the confluence of the two holidays Easter falls on April 8, the sixth day of Passover in 2007 the great majority of respondents plan on keeping the holidays separate. Among those respondents who plan to participate in both holidays, nearly 70% plan on keeping the holidays entirely separate, and only 3% indicate any significant level of blending. 1. If you plan to participate in both Easter and Passover celebrations this year, will you blend your celebrations? Count % (of 178) 5 keep separate % % % 2 2 1% 1 blend 4 2% Not applicable 13 7% Table 3. Blending Patterns of Respondents These respondents also see significant differences in the level of religiousness of their celebrations of Passover and Easter. Few say their celebrations of either holiday will be deeply religious, but far more say their celebrations of Easter will be entirely secular (67%) than say their celebrations of Passover (2%) will be entirely secular. Page 4 of 19

11 4. Please rate the religious nature of your Passover celebrations, where 5 = deeply religious and 1 = entirely secular. Count % (of 233) 8. Please rate the religious nature of your Easter celebrations, where 5 = deeply religious and 1= entirely secular. Count % (of 169) 5 deeply religious 9 4% 5 deeply religious 5 3% % % % % % % 1 entirely secular 5 2% 1 entirely secular % Table 4. Religious Nature of Passover vs. Easter Celebrations A clearer picture of the differences in the level of religiosity the respondents attach to the two holidays is portrayed graphically in Figure 1. Figure 1. Chart Showing Religious Nature of Passover vs. Easter Celebrations Overall, the great majority of respondents say they are eagerly anticipating or anticipating Passover (80%) and very comfortable or comfortable (85%) with participating in Passover celebrations. Meanwhile, there is a far greater level of ambivalence over Easter s arrival, with 75% saying they re Page 5 of 19

12 ambivalent or worse about Easter, and 57% saying they re either very uncomfortable, uncomfortable or halfway between very comfortable and very uncomfortable. 3. Please rank how much you are looking forward to Passover this year: Count % (of 234) 7. Please rank how much you are looking forward to Easter this year: Count % (of 180) 5 eager anticipation 67 29% 5 eager anticipation 8 4% % % 3 ambivalence 39 17% 3 ambivalence 85 47% 2 7 3% % 1 not looking forward to the holiday 2 1% 1 not looking forward to the holiday 32 18% Table 5. Respondents Anticipation of Passover vs. Anticipation of Easter 5. How comfortable do you feel about participating in Passover celebrations? Count % (of 234) 5. How comfortable do you feel about participating in Easter celebrations? Count % (of 180) 5 very comfortable % 5 very comfortable 29 52% % % % % 2 5 2% % 1 very uncomfortable 3 1% 1 very uncomfortable 12 21% Not applicable 0 0% Not applicable 2 4% Table 6. Respondents Comfort Level with Passover vs. Comfort Level with Easter However, participants anticipation of the holidays and comfort level with the holidays differ drastically when you compare Jewish vs. Christian respondents. Interestingly, there is not much difference in the levels of anticipation for Passover between the two populations: 82% of Jews vs. 78% of Christians are anticipating or eagerly anticipating Passover. But there is a difference in the two cohorts level of comfort with Passover. The Christian respondents aren t uncomfortable with participating in Passover celebrations, but they re not quite as comfortable as the Jewish respondents. Seventy-one percent of Jewish respondents say they re very comfortable with participating in Passover celebrations, while only 49% of Christians respondents say the same. Page 6 of 19

13 Jewish Respondents 3. Please rank how much you are looking forward to Passover this year: Count % (of 147) Christian Respondents 7. Please rank how much you are looking forward to Passover this year: Count % (of 68) 5 eager anticipation 47 29% 5 eager anticipation 14 21% % % 3 ambivalence 21 17% 3 ambivalence 14 21% 2 5 3% 2 1 2% 1 not looking forward to the holiday 2 1% 1 not looking forward to the holiday 0 0% Table 7. Respondents Anticipation of Passover, Jewish vs. Christian Respondents Jewish Respondents 5. How comfortable do you feel about participating in Passover celebrations? Count Christian Respondents 5. How comfortable do you feel % about participating in Passover (of 147) celebrations? Count % (of 68) 5 very comfortable % 5 very comfortable 33 49% % % 3 8 5% % 2 3 2% 2 1 2% 1 very uncomfortable 3 2% 1 very uncomfortable 0 0% Not applicable 0 0% Not applicable 0 0% Table 8. Respondents Comfort Level with Passover, Jewish vs. Christian Respondents There are major differences, however, between Jewish and Christian respondents when it comes to levels of anticipation of, and comfort level with, Easter. Fifty percent of Christian respondents are anticipating or eagerly anticipating Easter, in comparison to 13% of Jewish respondents. By the same token, 87% of Jewish respondents are ambivalent or worse about Easter, while 50% of Christian respondents are ambivalent or worse about Easter; 29% of Jewish respondents say they re not looking forward to the holiday at all, while only 3% of Christian respondents say the same. The data on comfort level with Easter tells a similar story. Seventy-one percent of Christian respondents are comfortable or very comfortable with Easter, while only 20% of Jewish respondents say the same. Meanwhile, 50% of Jewish respondents are uncomfortable or very uncomfortable with Easter while only 8% of Christian respondents say the same. Page 7 of 19

14 Jewish Respondents % 3. Please rank how much you are looking forward to Easter this year: Count (of 101) Christian Respondents 7. Please rank how much you are looking forward to Easter this year: Count % (of 62) 5 eager anticipation 2 2% 5 eager anticipation 6 10% % % 3 ambivalence 46 46% 3 ambivalence 25 40% % 2 4 7% 1 not looking forward to the holiday 29 29% 1 not looking forward to the holiday 2 3% Table 9. Respondents Anticipation of Easter, Jewish vs. Christian Respondents Jewish Respondents 5. How comfortable do you feel about participating in Easter celebrations? Count Christian Respondents 5. How comfortable do you feel % about participating in Easter (of 101) celebrations? Count % (of 62) 5 very comfortable 11 11% 5 very comfortable 34 55% 4 9 9% % % % % 2 5 8% 1 very uncomfortable 21 21% 1 very uncomfortable 0 0% Not applicable 3 3% Not applicable 1 2% Table 10. Respondents Comfort Level with Easter, Jewish vs. Christian Respondents Figure 2 shows the differences in the comfort levels with Easter of Jewish vs. Christian respondents in graphic form. Page 8 of 19

15 Figure 2. Chart Showing Respondents Comfort Level with Easter, Jewish vs. Christian Respondents Numerous studies have shown that the mother s religious background has a much greater influence over the children s religious behavior than the father s religious background. Although our cohort of respondents have all said they are raising their children exclusively Jewish, it is still particularly instructive to compare the Jewish behaviors of couples where the woman is Jewish vs. couples where the man is Jewish. One would expect that both kinds of couples would show a preponderance of Passover-related behaviors. Surprisingly, a greater percentage of respondents in interfaith couples where the woman is not Jewish plan to eat matzah, attend a seder and tell the Passover story. This shows that even in interfaith households raising children Jewish where the mother isn t Jewish, Jewish behaviors are highly prevalent. Page 9 of 19

16 Respondents in An Interfaith Couple Where the Woman Is Jewish 2. What Passover activities, if any, do you plan to participate in this year? Count % (of 123) Respondents in an Interfaith Couple Where the Woman Is Not Jewish 2. What Passover activities, if any, do you plan to participate in this year? Count % (of 94) Host seder 66 54% Host seder 42 45% Attend seder 94 76% Attend seder 75 80% Tell the Passover story 96 78% Tell the Passover story 83 88% Eat matzah % Eat matzah 91 97% Follow dietary restrictions for most or all eight days of Passover Will not participate in Passover celebrations 75 61% 0 0% Follow dietary restrictions for most or all eight days of Passover Will not participate in Passover celebrations 49 52% 2 2% Table 11. Passover Activities of Respondents, Couples Where the Woman Is Jewish vs. Couples Where the Woman Is Not Jewish It is particularly revealing to look at the Easter behaviors of couples where the woman is Jewish vs. where the woman is not Jewish. Even among our cohort of respondents all of whom are raising their children exclusively Jewish Easter behaviors are much more prevalent when the woman is not Jewish. This is especially the case for secular Easter activities like decorating eggs and participating in Easter egg hunts. Far fewer couples where the woman is Jewish plan on decorating eggs (16%) than couples where the woman is not Jewish (53%); the same pattern holds for participating in an Easter egg hunt (19% when the woman is Jewish, 47% when she is not). Fully one-third of couples where the woman is Jewish plan on not participating in Easter celebrations at all vs. only 15% of non-jewish-woman couples. Religious Easter behaviors are not very common among Jewish-woman couples, but they are much more common than among non-jewish-woman couples. No respondents in couples where the woman is Jewish said they plan on telling the Easter story, while 9% of respondents in couples where the woman is not Jewish said they would. Nine percent of Jewish-woman couples plan on attending religious services for Easter vs. 28% of non-jewish-woman couples. Page 10 of 19

17 Respondents in An Interfaith Couple Where the Woman Is Jewish 6. What Easter activities, if any, do you plan on participating in this year? Count % (of 123) Respondents in an Interfaith Couple Where the Woman Is Not Jewish 6. What Easter activities, if any, do you plan on participating in this year? Count % (of 94) Attend religious services 9 7% Attend religious services 26 28% Decorate eggs 20 16% Decorate eggs 50 53% Participate in an Easter egg hunt 23 19% Participate in an Easter egg hunt 44 47% Host Easter dinner 5 4% Host Easter dinner 13 14% Attend Easter dinner 48 39% Attend Easter dinner 41 44% Tell the Easter story 0 0% Tell the Easter story 8 9% Will not participate in Easter celebrations 41 33% Will not participate in Easter celebrations 14 15% Table 12. Easter Activities of Respondents, Couples Where the Woman Is Jewish vs. Couples Where the Woman Is Not Jewish Overall, both groups for the most part characterize their Easter celebrations as secular, but non-jewishwoman couples on average characterize their Easter celebrations as more religious than Jewish-woman couples. Fully 74% of Jewish-woman couples characterize their Easter celebrations as entirely secular and 82% characterize their celebrations as secular or entirely secular. By comparison, only 45% of non-jewish-woman couples characterize their Easter celebrations as entirely secular, although 63% characterize their Easter celebrations as secular or entirely secular. Respondents in An Interfaith Couple Where the Woman Is Jewish 8. Please rate the religious nature of your Easter celebrations, where 5 = deeply religious and 1= entirely secular. Count % (of 83) Respondents in An Interfaith Couple Where the Woman Is Not Jewish 8. Please rate the religious nature of your Easter celebrations, where 5 = deeply religious and 1= entirely secular. Count % (of 80) 5 deeply religious 1 1% 5 deeply religious 3 4% 4 2 2% % 3 4 5% % 2 7 8% % 1 entirely secular 61 74% 1 entirely secular 36 45% Not applicable 8 10% Not applicable 3 4% Table 13. Religious Nature of Easter Celebrations, Couples Where the Woman Is Jewish vs. Couples Where the Woman Is Not Jewish Page 11 of 19

18 Interestingly, no matter how the cohort of respondents is subdivided, everyone gives similar reasons to their children for why they participate in Easter celebrations. Among all respondents, similarly-sized majorities (63%) say that respect for the non-jewish parent s traditions and respect for the traditions of the non-jewish parent s extended family are ways they explain their family s participation in Easter. A majority (59%) say that open-mindedness/tolerance is a reason they give their children. Very few characterize the participation in Easter as an opportunity for [their] children to make up their own mind about what religion to adopt (9%) or tell their children they participate in Easter because they don t want to upset the non-jewish parent (9%). Slightly less than half (42%) of respondents explain their participation as part of a desire to expose [their] children to different faith traditions than [their] own. 10. If you are raising your children as Jews, how do you explain or talk about your participation in Easter celebrations to your children? Count % (of 180) Respect for non-jewish parent s traditions % Desire not to upset the non-jewish parent 17 9% Respect for the traditions of the non-jewish parent s extended family % Desire not to upset the non-jewish parent s extended family 19 11% Open-mindedness/tolerance % Desire to expose your children to different faith traditions than your own 76 42% Opportunity for your children to make up their own mind about what religion to adopt 17 9% Other 29 16% Table 14. How Respondents Explain Their Participation in Easter to Their Children There are no major differences in how Jewish-woman couples and non-jewish woman couples talk about participation in Easter, but there are some small, but telling, differences in how Jewish respondents and Christian respondents talk about Easter participation. Significantly fewer Jewish respondents than Christian respondents mentioned open-mindedness/tolerance (52% for Jewish, 74% for Christian). Also, fewer Jewish respondents (37%) than Christian respondents (50%) mention desire to expose your children to different faith traditions than your own. Page 12 of 19

19 Jewish Respondents 10. If you are raising your children as Jews, how do you explain or talk about your participation in Easter celebrations to your children? Count Christian Respondents 10. If you are raising your children as % Jews, how do you explain or talk about (of 101) your participation in Easter celebrations to your children? Count % (of 62) Respect for non-jewish parent s traditions 63 62% Respect for non-jewish parent s traditions 41 66% Desire not to upset the non-jewish parent 13 13% Desire not to upset the non-jewish parent 3 5% Respect for the traditions of the non- Jewish parent s extended family Desire not to upset the non-jewish parent s extended family 64 63% 12 12% Respect for the traditions of the non- Jewish parent s extended family Desire not to upset the non-jewish parent s extended family 37 60% 4 7% Open-mindedness/tolerance 52 52% Open-mindedness/tolerance 46 74% Desire to expose your children to different faith traditions than your own Opportunity for your children to make up their own mind about what religion to adopt 37 37% 8 8% Desire to expose your children to different faith traditions than your own Opportunity for your children to make up their own mind about what religion to adopt 31 50% 8 13% Other 15 15% Other 12 19% Table 15. How Respondents Explain Their Participation in Easter to Their Children, Jewish Respondents vs. Christian Respondents The endgame of all this research is to determine whether the child will grow up with a strong Jewish identity. Overwhelmingly, our respondents say they are unconcerned that participating in Easter celebrations will affect their children s Jewish identity. A few say that participating in Easter strengthens their children s Jewish identity because it encourages their children to ask questions, but many more point out how their Easter celebrations are either entirely secular or only occur in the homes of relatives. Here are some typical responses to the question If you are raising your children as Jews, do you think that your participation in Easter celebrations affects their Jewish identity? Why or why not? What if anything have your children said to you about this? : No, because my husband s family is not at all religious and it really is just getting together for dinner. Easter is a community activity. We celebrate Passover as a religious holiday and Easter egg hunts as a spring activity. I don t think it affects their identity, but provides them with an open-mindedness and respect for other traditions. The kids consider themselves very lucky to be able to celebrate [a] variety of traditions and celebrations. Page 13 of 19

20 No. We observe it only in a secular manner and don t even refer to it as Easter. It s the Springtime Bunny for the egg hunt as opposed to the Easter bunny. And though I cook an Easter dinner, we do not refer to it that way at all it s just a remembrance of what I did when I was growing up. While raising our children as Jews, there was never a problem with the kids having Easter egg hunts, Easter baskets and an Easter ham at the non-jewish grandparents home. No. They go to Jewish Sunday school and a [have] a strong affiliation with our temple. I do not bring them to Easter religious services. A number of respondents noted that Easter wasn t an issue, but Christmas was. This jibes with the results of our Third Annual December Holidays Survey, which revealed a greater level of anxiety over the allure of Christmas. Page 14 of 19

21 Demographic Portrait of Our Respondents Of the 684 people who responded to our Passover-Easter Survey, 236 said they were intermarried, had children and had raised or were raising their children exclusively Jewish. Of those 236 respondents, the majority (62%) are Jewish: 15. What is your religion? Please check all that apply. Count % (of 236) Jewish % Catholic 42 18% Protestant 28 12% Muslim 0 0% Hindu 0 0% Agnostic/Atheist 7 3% None 5 2% Other 19 8% Table 16. Religion of Respondents Their partners were a mix of Jewish (41%), Catholic (23%), Protestant (14%) and other religions. Because respondents could check multiple religions, there is some overlap where intermarried respondents characterized themselves and their partner as Jewish, as well as other religions. 15. What is your spouse s religion? Please check all that apply. Count % (of 236) Jewish 97 41% Catholic 55 23% Protestant 33 14% Muslim 0 0% Hindu 1 0% Agnostic/Atheist 19 8% None 12 5% Not applicable 0 0% Other 35 15% Table 17. Religion of Respondents Spouses The great majority of the respondents were female (83%). Page 15 of 19

22 15. What is your gender? Count % (of 236) Male 40 17% Female % Three-quarters were between the ages of 30 and 49. Table 18. Gender of Respondents 15. What is your age? Count % (of 236) Under % % % % % % 70 and over 2 1% Table 19. Age of Respondents Nearly half of the respondents (43%) have children 3 or younger. 54% have children 5 or younger. 15. What the age of your children? Count % (of 236) % % % % % % 30 and over 11 5% Table 20. Age of Respondents Children Slightly more than a third have sent their children to a one-day-a-week Jewish educational program (34%) and a quarter have sent their children to part-time Jewish school that meets more than once a week. 10% have sent their children to Jewish day school. Overall, 76% of respondents say their child has participated in some kind of Jewish education which is very similar to the percentage of Jewish children ages 6-17 who have received some kind of Jewish education according to the National Jewish Population Survey (79%). The percentages that say their children go to one day a week Jewish school and that say their children go to part-time Jewish school more than once a week are also very Page 16 of 19

23 similar to the NJPS s numbers for the general Jewish population: 25% in part-time Jewish school that met once a week among our respondents vs. 24% in the NJPS; 34% in one-day-a-week Jewish education among our respondents vs. 25% in the NJPS. The percentage of respondents attending Jewish day school was significantly lower than the general Jewish population according to the NJPS, but a recent study, Reconsidering the Size and Characteristics of the American Jewish Population: New Estimates of a Larger and More Diverse Community (Steinhardt Social Research Institute, 2007) showed that the NJPS probably significantly over-exaggerated the percentage of Jewish children in Jewish day school. 22. Which types of Jewish education has your child or children participated in? Count % (of 236) One day a week Jewish educational program 80 34% Part-time Jewish school that met more than once a week 60 25% Full-time Jewish day school 23 10% Private tutoring 15 6% None 32 14% Not applicable 25 11% Some other type of schooling 53 23% Table 21. Types of Jewish Education Respondents Children Have Participated In Along with Passover activities, we also asked about the frequency of Jewish behaviors, basing our questions on the survey instrument for the 2005 Boston Jewish Community Study. Large majorities say they always light Hanukkah candles (81%) and attend or hold a Passover seder (79%) and nearly half (45%) say they light candles on Friday night all of the time or usually. The great majority (85%) say that no one in their household ever attends weekly services at church or another non-jewish house of worship. 24. How often does someone in your household: All of the time Usually Some of the time Never Response total Light candles on Friday nights? 18% (43) 27% (64) 31% (73) 23% (54) 234 Light Hanukkah candles? 81% (189) 15% (35) 4% (9) 0% (1) 234 Have a Christmas tree in your home? 33% (77) 8% (19) 15% (34) 44% (104) 234 Attend or hold a Passover seder? 79% (186) 14% (33) 5% (12) 1% (3) 234 Attend weekly services at a synagogue? 4% (10) 15% (34) 62% (144) 20% (46) 234 Attend weekly services at a church or other non-jewish house of worship? 1% (2) 3% (6) 12% (28) 85% (198) 234 Table 22. Frequency of Respondents Religious Behaviors As far as Jewish social connections, the majority say that about half or more of their friends are Jewish (59%). Page 17 of 19

24 26. How many of your friends are Jewish? Count % (of 234) All 1 0% Most 46 20% About half 90 39% Some 92 39% None 5 2% Table 23. Jewish Friendship Patterns of Respondents Interestingly, in the case of religious behavior and Jewish friendship patterns, our respondents are very similar to the national averages for the entire Jewish population, according to the NJPS. Respondents to our survey NJPS Half or more friends are Jewish* 59% 52% Hold/attend Passover seder 79% 77% Light Shabbat candles 18% 28% Light Hanukkah candles 81% 72% Attend Jewish religious services** 19% 27% *The NJPS asked about close friends. **The NJPS asked about attending Jewish religious services monthly or more. We asked whether someone in your household attended weekly services at a synagogue all of the time, usually, some of the time or never. We calculated a comparable percentage by adding the responses to all of the time and usually. Table 24. Jewish Connections of Respondents vs. American Jews (NJPS ) As a group, our Jewish respondents had experienced a surprisingly high level of Jewish education as children. 77% indicated they received some kind of Jewish education from grades 1-8, and 49% indicated they received some kind of Jewish education from grades However, in analyzing the data, we did not find any significant relationship between the level of Jewish education as a child and levels of Passover or Easter activities as an intermarried adult. 25. Which of the following types of Jewish education did you receive in: One day a week Part-time more than once a week Full-time Jewish day school Other Jewish schooling None Response total Grades % (28) 50% (73) 8% (11) 3% (4) 23% (33) 145 Grades % (24) 25% (33) 1% (1) 5% (7) 51% (66) 145 Table 25. Jewish Education of Respondents Page 18 of 19

25 Conclusions Overall, intermarried people who have decided to raise their children Jewish appear to be doing a good job of promoting Jewish behavior and de-emphasizing non-jewish behavior. The great majority are participating in numerous Passover activities. More than three-fourths plan on attending a seder, half plan on hosting a seder and more than half plan on following dietary restrictions for most or all of the eight days of Passover. Conversely, they are participating in far fewer Easter activities. Nearly a quarter are not participating in Easter celebrations at all, while only 40% plan on even attending Easter dinner. Only very small minorities plan to engage in religious Easter activities like telling the Easter story or attending religious services. For those that are participating in Easter, they overwhelmingly see their participation in Easter as secular, as indicated by both our quantitative and qualitative research. Conversely, while they don t see Passover as deeply religious, they see it as significantly more religious than Easter. Despite Easter falling during Passover this year, very few respondents plan on blending the two holidays in any way. Having firmly decided on a religious tradition for their children, the respondents rarely explain to their children that they re participating in Easter so they can make up their own mind about what religion to adopt. Most respondents say they explain their family s participation in Easter to their children as a matter of respect for either the non-jewish parent s traditions or the traditions of the non-jewish parent s extended family. It is the case, however, that Easter activities are much more prevalent in Jewish homes where the mother is not Jewish. Far more households with a non-jewish mother plan on decorating eggs, participating in an Easter egg hunt and attending Easter religious services than households where the mother is Jewish. But tellingly, only small percentages of even these non-jewish-woman households plan on hosing Easter dinner or telling the Easter story. While they are more likely to participate in secular Easter activities, they are still not particularly likely to participate in religious Easter activities. Most of them still characterize their Easter celebrations as secular, and few view their Easter celebrations as religious. Overall, the respondents do not feel that the Easter-Passover conflict is nearly as significant as the socalled December Dilemma. Page 19 of 19

26 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 2 3/21/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE Life-Cycle Ceremonies Holidays Shabbat Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur The December Holidays Passover and Easter Other Holidays Relationships Spirituality Arts and Entertainment News and Opinion InterfaithFamily.com InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE Featured powered by FreeFind Find Home > Article Archive > Holidays > Passover and Easter For more information, visit our Passover and Easter Resource Page. A Sticky Situation By Kia Silverman Spring is just around the corner and while our next door neighbor's plastic nativity scene from the winter holidays is still buried in two feet of snow on their front lawn, in our household we have already begun planning our Passover seder. My husband's family has started booking their flights from San Diego to Denver to celebrate with us, and I'm already dreaming of the matzah ball soup, the savory brisket, and of course, the gefilte fish. At the same time, I'm also looking forward to toting my kids to various Easter egg hunts and to the grandparents showing up at our house with Easter baskets full of pastel-colored M&Ms and marshmallow-filled chocolate bunnies. And once again, as I find myself at the second intersection of major Jewish and Christian holidays, I can't help but think, "Didn't we just go through this?" For lack of a better term, our family is interfaith. My husband is Jewish and I am not. I did not, however, grow up under the guidance of any organized religion. My father was baptized Methodist and attended the Methodist church as a child, but I have never known him to attend church on any regular basis in recent years. My mother's family is mostly Buddhist, but her involvement with the Buddhist temple has been similar to my father's involvement with the Methodist church. Before my husband and I married, we decided that we would raise our children Jewish. Having very few ties to organized religion on my side, and given that religion was important to my husband, the choice seemed only natural. So far, things have gone fairly smoothly. We have two small children aged 3-and-ahalf and 21 months. We attend various services as a family at our local synagogue, host the Passover seder at our house every year, and in a few years our children will attend religious school to further their Jewish education. Still, every time Christmas and Easter roll around, I can't help but feel like I've stepped in something sticky. Although I am not Christian, I grew up celebrating Christmas and Easter. At Christmas, we always had a tree, and as a kid I left cookies for Santa and wrote him letters. Easter was usually spent with my father's side of the family and I always looked forward to the Easter baskets filled with jellybeans and those plastic eggs with the little surprises inside. I remember dyeing eggs with my mother and how my hands would be stained with blue and green ink and smell of vinegar when we finished. It wasn't until I had kids of my own that I realized that in spite of my nonreligious background, it's hard to let go of these childhood traditions. When our son Jacob was a baby and a toddler, things seemed less complicated. We breezed through the holidays with barely a discussion of how we would approach Christmas and Easter in the coming years. I even thought it was cute when my mother gave Jacob an Easter Elmo one year, and for several weeks Jacob took that doll to bed and we could hear Elmo's falsetto voice on the baby monitor exclaiming, "You found Elmo's red egg! Happy Easter!" But Jacob is now 3 and this past Christmas was the first Christmas that he truly understood the concept of Santa. Undoubtedly, this will be the first Easter where he will understand the concept of the Easter Bunny. I know both of my kids will enjoy dyeing eggs and hunting for them with their friends, as I did as a child. And I expect that my mother will bring our children Easter baskets as she has been doing since they were born. While all of these things are associated with Christian holidays, I think celebrating Christmas and Easter the way we do is what makes us an interfaith, as opposed to just a Jewish, family. My husband and I both recognize that our extended family's traditions add a special dimension to our lives, one that should be guided by our values, but also welcomed and embraced. At the end of the day, dyeing Easter eggs and eating Easter candy holds no religious--just cultural--meaning for a toddler or preschooler. As our children get older, the childhood

27 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 2 of 2 3/21/2007 Partners/Funders/Links Login Login Name: memories we will nurture in them will involve sitting around our dining room table and reading from the hagaddah. My son is already old enough to help with some of the Passover cooking and I know both kids will enjoy helping their daddy make matzah balls, and will especially enjoy searching for the afikomen, the middle matzah that is hidden during the seder for the children to find. While these intersections of Jewish and Christian holidays may feel a little sticky, it's the sweetness of family and togetherness that makes it so--and in my book, that's quite all right. Password: Not Signed Up? Find Out More. Kia Silverman is a mother of two whose hobbies include writing, reading, volunteer work, playing taiko (Japanese drums), and shoveling the snow and ice from her driveway. She resides in Denver, Colo., with her husband Brian and her children, Jacob and Sasha. InterfaithFamily.com P.O. Box 428, Newton, MA network@interfaithfamily.com Privacy Policy

28 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 2 3/21/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE Life-Cycle Ceremonies Holidays Shabbat Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur The December Holidays Passover and Easter Other Holidays Relationships Spirituality Arts and Entertainment News and Opinion InterfaithFamily.com InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE Featured powered by FreeFind Find Home > Article Archive > Holidays > Passover and Easter For more information, visit our Passover and Easter Resource Page. Making Passover Work in an Interfaith Home By Abby Spotts "Mah nishtana halila hazeh" ("Why is this night different from all other nights?") is the first of the four questions asked by the youngest child during the Passover seder. For me, it takes me back to when I was a girl growing up in a Conservative Jewish household. As the youngest of the three, I was the one who had to ask the Four Questions at every Passover seder until my niece and nephew were old enough to ask them. The songs, the celebrations, the traditions and the family togetherness all made Passover a special time in my home as a child (even with the numerous dietary restrictions). In traditional Jewish homes, families remove all chametz--leavened bread or products that use certain forbidden grains--before the beginning of Passover. The only bread that they may eat is matzah. So, how did I take those memories and traditions and weave them into my own interfaith home? Actually, quite easily. My husband, who has been a non-practicing Catholic for quite some time, has, over the years, become interested in learning more about Judaism. Since Reform Judaism is the religion in which we agreed to raise our children, he has been extremely accepting and welcoming of celebrating and learning about the Jewish holidays. I have never pushed my beliefs or celebratory ways on to my husband. If he chooses to participate in whatever way he wants, I am happy to guide him as far as he likes. Judaism has become even more prevalent in our home now that our 5-year-old son is enrolled in preschool at our local Jewish community center. We celebrate the Jewish holidays, including Passover, in our home and at times celebrate non-jewish holidays with friends and family outside of our home. The reality is we rarely even celebrate non-jewish holidays, like Easter, at all. My husband does not seem to have an interest in observing or even acknowledging them, despite my willingness to help him celebrate. Growing up in a Conservative Jewish home, I was more observant than I am now as a Reform Jew. That includes Passover time. I clean the house, perhaps using the holiday as an annual excuse to empty out the refrigerator and pantry, to rid ourselves of things that are old as well as separating out the chametz (non-passover foods). I clear out a small area of the cupboard to keep the Passover foods, which except for the matzah, usually only I eat, and the rest of the kitchen remains the same. No Passover dishes, no blocking off certain cabinets, and no moving the chametz out of sight or off the premises--which all were part of Passover when I was growing up. The night before Passover begins, we hold an abbreviated version of the "search for the chametz" where I hide some bread, we say the barucha (blessing), and my husband, sons and I walk around with a candle, search, scoop up the bread and dispose of it. Perhaps it's not the proper way, but it's our way, and it's becoming a family tradition. Our Passover seders are spent with family and friends with whom we have been celebrating for many years. As we all have had children and the numbers around the table have grown, it's not as easy to hold a traditional seder, but we include as many elements as we can before the troops get restless. As the children are growing older, they are becoming more interested and more participatory in things like the Four Questions, searching for the afikomen (dessert matzah that is hidden during the seder for the children to find) and opening the door for Elijah the prophet. The remainder of the holiday is spent trying our best to follow the Passover dietary restrictions. I abstain from eating bread, rice, flour and as many of the other non-passover foods as I can. I do not force the restrictions on to my husband, but he has supported me by not eating bread at most meals--at least when he eats with me! My mother even baked my

29 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 2 of 2 3/21/2007 Partners/Funders/Links Login Login Name: Password: husband a Passover birthday cake which he really liked, as his April birthday sometimes falls during Passover. Our children are too young (5 and 2), in our opinion, for us to impose the rules on to them, although they both do enjoy matzah and charoses (nut and apple mixture) and are willing to try most of the foods. When Passover has ended, we order in a pizza and once again enjoy eating what we could not for the previous eight days. Our celebrations are having a positive impact in our family. For our older son, who celebrates a Passover seder at his preschool, our home celebrations help to tie it all together for him. My husband has learned tremendously over the years and our observance of the Jewish holidays has become very special to him. So, in essence, for us, Passover is a night different than all other nights, and one that I hope will continue to bring new traditions, customs and special memories as our family learns and shares together. Not Signed Up? Find Out More. Abby Spotts lives in Camp Hill, Pennsylvania, with her husband and two sons. InterfaithFamily.com P.O. Box 428, Newton, MA network@interfaithfamily.com Privacy Policy

30 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 2 3/21/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES Home > Article Archive > Holidays > Passover and Easter For more information, visit our Passover and Easter Resource Page. CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE Life-Cycle Ceremonies Holidays Shabbat Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur The December Holidays Passover and Easter Other Holidays Relationships The Reluctant Son-in-Law Interview by Ronnie Friedland Ronnie Friedland interviews her brother, Tom, who has two intermarried children, about hosting a seder that includes Jews and non-jews. To hear an mp3 of the interview, click here. Spirituality Arts and Entertainment News and Opinion Tom Friedland (C) and his family Ronnie Friedland is editor of InterfaithFamily.com's Web Magazine. InterfaithFamily.com InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE powered by FreeFind Find Featured

31 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 3 3/21/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE Life-Cycle Ceremonies Holidays Shabbat Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur The December Holidays Passover and Easter Other Holidays Relationships Spirituality Arts and Entertainment News and Opinion InterfaithFamily.com InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE Featured powered by FreeFind Find Home > Article Archive > Holidays > Passover and Easter For more information, visit our Passover and Easter Resource Page. Gremchelich and Easter Eggs: Recipes for a Dutch Seder By Judith van Praag During my childhood in the Netherlands, spring was heralded by my mother's birthday on the 22 of March, followed by "grote schoonmaak," the thorough spring-cleaning of our home, and the delivery of two oversized boxes of Hollandia Matzos by Van Gend & Loos, the Dutch UPS of the past. My Jewish father taught me about the 10th plague inflicted upon Egypt, which would cause all firstborn children and livestock to be killed. By smearing the blood of the sacrificial lamb on their doorposts, the Jews saved their firstborn from death; the doors of their homes were "skipped," in Hebrew "pasach," which was why the holiday was called Pesach (Passover). My non-jewish mother told me that Pesach was the Jewish Easter, and Easter a heathen celebration of spring. Spring, of course, was the end of the long cold winter, and a new beginning, which was symbolized by eggs. Each year my mother presented me with a string pouch filled with eggshaped sugar candy, and a colorful basket with fluffy yellow Easter chicks, chocolate eggs wrapped in colorful silver foil, and an Easter bunny. Pesach started with the seder dinner, which was different from the regular Sabbath evening meal because we would have matzah instead of bread, matzah balls in our soup, and gremchelich (thick pancakes made from matzah brei with raisins, slivers of almonds, and sometimes candied ginger) for dessert. The way I remember it, the questionand- answer ritual at the seder had more of a conversational quality to it, perhaps because I was an only child, and most likely because my father was the only one who really knew the hagaddah (book that tells the story or Passover). In preparation for the seder my father would tend to the beef and vegetable stockpot of soup, while my Judith van Praag (R) as a child. mother soaked matzah in hot water, and fried a chopped onion in chicken schmaltz (fat) to make matzah balls for the Pesach soup, and prepared the mixture for gremchelich. We would eat those thick pancakes for dessert at the seder and throughout the following week as a snack with our tea or coffee. For maror (the bitter herbs, standing for the hardships suffered in Egypt) and the vegetable, my parents used radishes and parsley that we dipped in a bowl with salty water (tears shed in Egypt). For charoset (symbolizing the mortar used by Jewish slaves to build the storehouses of Egypt) my mother mashed chopped walnuts and tutti frutti (mixed dried fruit) together. A chicken bone was added to our seder plate instead of the traditional lamb shank. Three circular matzahs were slid in between the folds of napkins-- two for the blessing of the bread, half of the third set aside as afikoman (which comes last). But I can't remember ever having played hide and seek with that piece of matzah as is common in American households with children. The Passover of my childhood was carbohydrate heaven. The morning after the seder we set our kitchen table without plates so that we could butter the large round matzah without breaking it, and although I'm sure the table was covered by a vinyl tablecloth, I also seem to recall newsprint, and the added pleasure of reading while eating matzah with shredded cheese, soft boiled or fried eggs, brown sugar or honey. From early on I knew how to trace the dots along the center line of the matzah and cut mine in half. I knew there was nothing like a sweet or savory filled matzah sandwich.

32 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 2 of 3 3/21/2007 Partners/Funders/Links Login Login Name: Password: Not Signed Up? Find Out More. This annual bliss continued until my father died. Not that my mother stopped ordering matzah, making matzah ball soup and gremchelich after his death. No, I stopped eating matzah when the 16-year-old daughter of a Jewish girlfriend of my mother's told me matzah was terrible for a girl's figure! These days I tell myself cleaning house will make up for those extra calories. My husband and I continue my parents' traditions. After Purim I've got matzah on my brain and plenty of time to clean house and prepare physically and mentally for our own interfaith Pesach. Here are the traditional recipes my parents prepared for our annual Dutch seders. Gremchelich (makes 24 pancakes) 6 matzahs 3 eggs 5 oz granular sugar 3.5 oz raisins (soaked in water) 3.5 oz slivered almonds ¼ teaspoon cinnamon Grated rind of ½ lemon Oil Hot water Break the matzahs in a colander, pour hot water on the pieces, let cool. Beat eggs together with sugar and cinnamon. Squeeze excess liquid from matzahs, combine matzah mush and egg mixture in a large bowl, mixing well by hand (keep it lumpy). Drain water off raisins and pat them dry with kitchen towel, add to batter together with almonds and lemon rind. If the mixture seems to wet, add some matzah meal (I like to make my own, using a rolling pin or a bottle to crush pieces of matzah folded inside a (clean) napkin or kitchen towel. Heat oil in a skillet. Using two soup spoons, create balls of mixture and gently put them in the hot fat, flatten the ball with fork or spatula while the gremchelich cook, turn them over with a spatula when golden brown. Serve dusted with powdered sugar. Haroset 1 bag of tutti frutti (prunes, dried apples, dried pears, etc.) 3.5 oz chopped walnuts 1 tsp cinnamon Chop the tutti frutti into small chunks (make sure there are no pits in the prunes), sprinkle with cinnamon and mix in chopped walnuts. If not sticky enough to shape into small balls add some sweet wine or honey. Clear Beef Broth with Spring Vegetables For the stock: 4-6 cups of water (1 cup per person) 2 or 3 meaty beef shanks (cut off excess fat) 2 tsp kosher salt 2 large carrots scraped clean, cut in 1-inch chunks 2 peeled stalks of celery, cut in 1-inch chunks 1 leek, (white and green) cut in length, and quartered, washed very well (dirt hides between layers) 2 sprigs of parsley 1 Tbsp fresh or 1 tsp dried thyme 1 turnip, quartered 2 peeled cloves of garlic 5 mushrooms, peeled and sliced Vegetables for Soup (to be added after straining of stock): 2 large carrots scraped clean and sliced thinly, or 1 cup of baby carrots cut in half 1 heart of celery, all the light colored stalks, with leaves, cut in ¼-inch slices. 2 or 3 small leeks, most of the green removed, cut in length, then in ¼-inch slices 4 mushrooms, peeled and sliced Rinse shanks, add to large stockpot, add salt, cover with water and bring to a boil. Skim off foam, and continue doing so until very little foam or no foam appears. Add all of the other stock ingredients, bring to a boil again, then lower flame and let simmer for 3-4 hours. Place clean, damp cheesecloth in colander, and place colander over a large pot. Strain stock through colander. Put the meat (which by then falls off the bone) back in the broth, and add the soup vegetables. Bring to a boil, lower heat and simmer for 20 minutes. After this you may cool the soup and refrigerate, or bring back to soft boil and start adding matzah balls. Matzah Balls for Soup (makes 12) 3 matzahs 3 Tbsp (or more as needed) matzo meal (see gremchelich recipe) 2 eggs 1 Tbsp oil ½ tsp kosher salt

33 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 3 of 3 3/21/2007 1/8 tsp (more or less) black pepper (optional) 1 medium size onion 1 tsp ginger powder (optional) Break matzah in colander, dampen with cold water, and shake off excess liquid. Matzah pieces should not be too wet. Fry finely chopped onion in oil until golden brown. In large bowl, beat eggs until fluffy, mix well with moistened matzahs, onion, salt and spices. Let rest for 1 hour. Heat your favorite beef, chicken or even mushroom stock. Divide matzah mixture in 12 equal amounts and shape into balls. If mixture is too damp, add matzah meal. With the help of a soup ladle lower the balls into the softly boiling liquid. Cook for minutes until the balls are done and bounce to the surface. If you made large balls, cut one in half to check whether it's done on the inside. Consistency should be firm and dry, not dark and soggy. Eat well, enjoy, and Chag Sameach! Judith van Praag is a Dutch artist and bilingual writer, and author of the book Creative Acts of Healing: After a Baby Dies. InterfaithFamily.com P.O. Box 428, Newton, MA network@interfaithfamily.com Privacy Policy

34 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 6 3/21/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE Life-Cycle Ceremonies Holidays Shabbat Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur The December Holidays Passover and Easter Other Holidays Relationships Spirituality Arts and Entertainment News and Opinion InterfaithFamily.com InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE Featured powered by FreeFind Find Home > Article Archive > Holidays > Passover and Easter For more information, visit our Passover and Easter Resource Page. Sharing the Passover Seder with Guests of Other Faiths, Plus Recipes By Jayne Cohen In ancient days, Passover was a time of homecoming for nomadic tribes. "Let all who are hungry come and eat," the hagaddah later enjoined, and Jews made a point of inviting guests to share the seder meal. Today our tents are much wider, enlarged to welcome interfaith family members and non-jewish friends as well. Of all Jewish holidays, Passover is probably the easiest to share with people of other traditions. The stirring tale of slaves, pharaoh, and the exodus that is at its heart is readily accessible; the theme--the bitter struggle against oppression--has resonated with all peoples in all times. And the seder is celebrated in the relaxed, warm surroundings of a family home, not a synagogue. It's been years since our interfaith family members first joined our joyous, raucous Passover table. So when my niece's non- Jewish parents came to the seder for the first time last year, we took a fresh look at ways to help them feel a part of the celebration. We began with simple hors d'oeuvres in the living room. Offering a light snack is a good idea before any seder, especially when there are young children present, but it is particularly important when guests are unfamiliar with the ritual and do not know that a service will precede the meal. They may even have skipped lunch in anticipation of the glorious meal to follow. Colorful, cut-up raw vegetables and a simple vinaigrette, or matzah crackers or toasted matzah (see the recipe that follows) with an easy eggplant spread are good choices. One family we know traditionally serves tiny leek-andpotato croquettes from their heirloom recipe. We took our seats around the enormous table gleaming with newly polished silverware and the special Passover dishes. The centerpiece was the seder plate my sister-in-law had lovingly prepared; it is often said that the ritual foods on that plate tell the Passover saga. Maybe so, but if your hagaddah is like ours, the story is an abridged version, since some of the foods are never really explained during the reading. Introducing each of the symbolic foods not only set the stage, but also made the service more meaningful when these items were mentioned. We pointed out that salt water gives us a taste of the tears and hard sweat of slavery, but it is tempered by the sweet spring vegetable, celery, that we will dip into it. Horseradish, the bitter herb, stings our tongue with the harshness of oppression. Haroset, the fruit and nut paste, evokes the brick and mortar the Hebrews used to build pharaoh's cities, and it also continues the story of the Jews after the exodus in the Diaspora, since the myriad versions of it reflect the many diverse Jewish communities around the world. The roasted shankbone and egg, which recall sacrificial burnt offerings, remind us that Passover used to be a Temple festival, and we mourn the loss of the great Temple in Jerusalem where it was celebrated. The highly symbolic egg also speaks of renewal and optimism, like the Christian Easter egg--in fact, some Polish Jews dye their eggs too, using onion skins. If you have added newer traditions like Miriam's cup--a special goblet filled with water to honor Moses' sister, who provided the Israelites with water from a well that followed her throughout the wandering--this is the time to talk about not only what the traditions mean, but why you have chosen them. For us, the hagaddah service is as familiar as the taste of matzah. For first-timers, though, it is not so easy: they are likely to be clueless when the book tells us to open the door for Elijah,

35 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 2 of 6 3/21/2007 Partners/Funders/Links Login Login Name: Password: Not Signed Up? Find Out More. and to have no idea what a plague called "blood" could possibly be. In our family, as in many others, everyone takes turns reading the hagaddah (in English). While this is a good way to make the seder more participatory, remember that traditional hagaddahs often don't discuss the meaning of many of the passages. And guests, who may be slightly nervous to begin with, might be concentrating too hard on the section they will be reading to fully digest what the others read. So instead of reading the service straight through, we decided to stop to briefly introduce or explicate important passages, including the Four Questions. Early on, everyone at the table began joining in the discussions--some voicing a few admittedly unusual opinions. But isn't rethinking, questioning, and reinterpreting what, in fact, has kept the seder such a vital tradition throughout the centuries? Think of the part of the hagaddah where the learned rabbis argue about the exact number of plagues, starting with the traditional ten, and going through many variations, including ten times ten (one for each finger on God's hand). No, argues another sage, that figure to the tenth power. Possibilities, considered from other perspectives, are endless. Then it was time to recite the plagues. Alex, my daughter, explained that the four cups of wine we drink during the seder signify our joy as free people. But that joy cannot be complete because we recognize that our enemies too suffered during the exodus. So, with one finger we flick out a drop of wine from our glass for each plague visited on the Egyptians, for they also were God's children. "My favorite part of the seder, and now, after all these years, I finally know what it means," one of my nephews announced. He raised his glass. "To peace, for all people." And we clinked, up and down and across that huge table. The meal was served. The scrumptious food--the true universal language--needed no translation at all. Recipes With the exception of the Smoked Whitefish Gefilte Fish, all of the recipes here are taken from my first book, The Gefilte Variations: 200 Re-creations of Classics from the Jewish Kitchen. Matzah Hot matzot, plural of matzah--like hot bread--can be an amalgam of wonderful toasty flavors and aromas. Heat them to recapture that fresh-from-the-oven flavor, as well as to recrisp them. Here's how: Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Wet the matzot lightly on both sides with cold water (a few spritzes from a water spray bottle is perfect for this). Toast on an oven rack until dry and crisp, 3-5 minutes. Plain matzot contain just flour and water--no fats, salt, sugars, additives or preservatives--so you can use them to custom-design your own crackers, seasoning them with whatever you would try on flatbreads or crackers, and enjoy them not only on Passover, but throughout the year. Seasoned Matzah Use these suggestions as a guide. I'm sure you'll have many ideas of your own. 1. Sprinkle the top of dampened matzot with coarse salt, and if desired, freshly ground coarse pepper, and/or chopped fresh rosemary or other herbs. Bake until dry and crisp. 2. Gently rub the cut side of a garlic clove or onion over the matzot until the matzot are slightly damp. (A couple of vertical slashes in the cut side will make the garlic or onion juices flow more easily so the matzot won't break apart in the process.) Sprinkle or spritz with a few drops of water, dust with salt, optional pepper and herbs, such as thyme, rosemary, or oregano, and bake until dry and crisp. 3. Sprinkle hot matzot with grated Parmesan, cheddar, or other cheese, grated lemon rind, and cracked pepper. Or sprinkle the seasoning on unheated matzot and run briefly under the broiler. 4. Brush matzah with melted or softened butter or extra virgin olive oil. Season with salt and optional pepper, grated garlic or onion, chopped fresh or dried herbs. Or steep minced garlic or onion in oil for a while, then brush the oil on the matzah, using sprigs of rosemary or other herbs as a brush. Bake at 400 degrees until hot and just beginning to brown or toast under broiler. 5. For sweet matzah, brush egg matzah with melted butter and sprinkle with brown sugar and cinnamon. Broil until the sugar melts. Smoked Whitefish Gefilte Fish with Lemon-Horseradish Sauce This unusual recipe is from a seder meal I devised for Bon Appetit magazine. It's much quicker to prepare than traditional gefilte fish, because the delicate dumplings are steamed between cabbage leaves to keep them moist, not poached in fish broth. Leftovers can be refrigerated for a few days. I am especially proud of this comment from a Bon Appetit reader who prepared the recipe: "I made these for Passover for my husband's family. They were so delicious that I made them for my family for Easter Sunday! The fishcakes are light and tasty and the horseradish sauce is to die for! I very rarely give 4 forks to a recipe but this one really deserves it--it is an

36 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 3 of 6 3/21/2007 excellent dish." Ingredients for the fish 3/4 cup carrots, peeled and thinly sliced kosher salt 1/4 cup matzah meal 2 tablespoons mild olive oil 1 cup chopped onion freshly ground pepper 1 cup scallions, trimmed and chopped 4 large eggs 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice 1 1/2 lbs. mild white-fleshed fish fillets (such as sole or flounder), skin and any bones removed and discarded, fish cut into1-inch pieces 2 cups smoked whitefish, bones carefully removed 1 large cabbage, separated into leaves and rinsed (these are discarded before serving, so you can use slightly imperfect or dark green outer leaves) Ingredients for the sauce 2 teaspoons garlic 1/4 cup plus 2 teaspoons prepared white horseradish 3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice 1 1/2 cups mayonnaise Ingredients for serving: Soft lettuce or endive leaves, or radicchio to line plates Preparing the fish 1. Bring 1 cup lightly salted water to boil in small saucepan. Add carrots and simmer until very tender, about 8 minutes. Drain, reserving 1/2 cup cooking water in a small bowl. Stir matzah meal into the reserved cooking water; let stand 10 minutes to soften and absorb liquid. Place carrots in food processor. 2. Warm oil in heavy medium skillet over medium-low heat. Add onion, salt and pepper lightly, and saute until soft and shiny, about 8 minutes. Add scallions and stir one minute. Transfer onion mixture to carrots in food processor. Add matzah meal mixture and puree until smooth. 3. Using an electric mixer, beat 3 eggs and lemon juice in a large bowl until foamy and slightly thickened, about 4 minutes. Stir in mixture from food processor; don't clean processor bowl yet. 4. Put fish fillets, smoked fish, about 1 teaspoon (or to taste) salt, and about 1/4 teaspoon pepper in food processor. Using on-off turns, chop until fine. Add remaining egg and pulse to a coarse paste. Transfer the fish mixture to the matzah meal mixture in the bowl, and combine thoroughly. Cover and refrigerate until very cold, at least 2 hours. 5. Line a large baking sheet with waxed paper. Wetting hands with cold water if necessary, form mixture into ovals, using about 1/4 cup of mixture for each. Place on prepared baking sheet. Cover with waxed paper and chill while preparing cabbage and steamer. 6. In large, wide pot with a tight-fitting lid, place a rack that stands about 2 inches high (if you don't have a vegetable steamer, a round cake rack works well; if rack is not high enough, set over 2 custard cups or empty tuna cans). Fill pot with enough water to meet, but not cover, the bottom of the rack. Line the rack with a layer of cabbage leaves. Arrange 8 fish ovals in a single layer on the cabbage leaves; cover the fish with another layer of cabbage leaves. Bring water in pot to boil. Cover pot and steam the fish ovals over medium heat until cooked through at center and firm to the touch, about 25 minutes. Transfer top layer of cabbage leaves to a platter. Top with the cooked fish ovals. Cover them with the bottom cabbage leaves. Steam the remaining fish ovals in additional cabbage leaves in 2 more batches, adding more water to the pot if needed. Let the cooked gefilte fish cool to room temperature. Keeping the fish covered with the cooked cabbage leaves so it will remain moist, wrap the whole platter with plastic wrap, and refrigerate until cold, at least 6 hours. (Can be prepared about 2 days ahead. Keep refrigerated.) Preparing the sauce Put the garlic through a press or mince it fine and place in a small bowl. Stir in horseradish and lemon juice. Whisk in mayonnaise. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Cover and set aside, refrigerated, at least 30 minutes before serving. (Can be prepared one day ahead; keep refrigerated.) To serve For best flavor, serve the fish chilled but not icy cold. Remove fish from cabbage leaves and arrange attractively on platters or individual plates lined with lettuce, endive, or radicchio. Accompany with lemon-horseradish sauce. Yield: about 24 fish dumplings Chicken Soup with Asparagus and Shiitakes, Served with Roasted Fennel Matzah Balls You can cook the matzah balls up to 2-3 hours in advance. Drain them and cover with some broth to keep them moist before setting them aside until you are ready to reheat them. And experiment making matzah balls with a puree of other vegetables, such as beets, carrots, leeks, mushrooms, or shallots. Roasted vegetables absorb less moisture than boiled or

37 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 4 of 6 3/21/2007 steamed ones (and therefore require less matzah meal, making them lighter). They are also more flavorful. Ingredients for the matzah balls 2 small-medium fennel bulbs (about 1 lb. when weighed with 2 inches of top stalks) 2 tablespoons olive oil 1/2 cup chicken broth, preferably homemade, or good-quality low-sodium purchased 1 tablespoon garlic, chopped coarse salt and freshly ground pepper 3/4 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme optional: 1/4 teaspoon fennel seeds, ground in a spice grinder or with a mortar and pestle 2 large eggs about 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons matzah meal Ingredients for the soup 7 cups homemade chicken broth 1/4 lb. fresh shiitake mushrooms, stems removed and reserved for another use or discarded, caps wiped clean with a damp paper towel and thinly sliced thin asparagus spears, trimmed and cut into 1-inch pieces Preparing the matzah balls. 1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Cut off the fennel stalks and reserve for another use (excellent for fish broths and stews). If there are some attractive feathery fronds, chop and set aside about 2 tablespoons of them to garnish the soup. Quarter the bulbs and trim away the stems, the bottom hard core and any tough parts. Choose a shallow baking pan just large enough to fit the fennel in one layer and put in one tablespoon of the oil. Add the fennel and toss until well-coated with the oil. Roast the fennel until it is pale gold, about 20 minutes, then turn and roast for 10 minutes longer. Stir in the broth, garlic, salt and pepper to taste and 1/2 teaspoon of the thyme. Cover the pan with aluminum foil and cook for minutes longer, or until fennel is very soft. Remove foil, stir around, and roast a few more minutes to evaporate most of the pan liquid. Transfer the fennel and garlic to a food processor and chop coarsely. Add remaining 1/4 teaspoon of thyme, salt (it will need about 1 teaspoon), pepper to taste, and fennel seeds, if using. With the machine on, add the remaining one tablespoon of olive oil through the feed tube. 2. Scrape the mixture into a large bowl. You should have about one cup of puree, so nosh on any extra. Whisk in the eggs, one at a time. Add the matzah meal and stir well. If you can form a lump into a very soft walnut-sized ball (the batter will become firmer when you chill it), don't add any more matzah meal. If necessary, add just enough matzah meal to enable you to do so. Refrigerate for at least 2 or up to 4 hours so the matzah meal can drink in the liquid and seasoning. 3. When ready to cook, bring 4 quarts of water and one tablespoon of salt to a rapid boil in a large wide pot. Dipping your hands into cold water if needed, roll the batter into walnut-sized balls. When all the balls are rolled and the water is boiling furiously, turn the heat down to a gentle boil. Carefully slide in the balls one at a time and cover the pot tightly. 4. Turn the heat down to a simmer, and cook over low heat for 30 minutes, without removing the cover. (The matzah balls will cook by direct heat as well as by steam, which makes them puff and swell, and lifting the lid will allow some of that steam to escape.) Take one out and cut it in half. It should be light, fluffy and completely cooked through. If it isn't, continue cooking a few more minutes. Remove the balls gently with a skimmer or large slotted spoon-- they are too fragile to dump into a colander. Making the soup 1. Put the broth in a large pot. Bring to a simmer. Add the matzah balls, the mushrooms and asparagus and simmer for about 5 minutes, or until the vegetables are tender. 2. To serve, using a slotted spoon, transfer the matzah balls to shallow bowls, and ladle the hot soup and the vegetables over them. Garnish with the reserved chopped fennel fronds. Yield: about 8 servings Toasted Almond-Coconut Macaroons Made of ground nuts so they are flour-free, easy-to-prepare macaroons are a Passover favorite of both Ashkenazi and Sephardi Jews. Simple becomes seductive when the almonds are briefly toasted first, their skins left on and drizzled with maple syrup or brown sugar. Ingredients 1 3/4 cups (about 9 ounces) whole natural almonds 1 tablespoon pure maple syrup or packed brown sugar, preferably dark 2/3 cup plus one tablespoon white or light brown granulated sugar 1 cup shredded unsweetened coconut optional: 1 teaspoon amaretto or 1/2 teaspoon kosher-for-passover almond extract 4 large egg whites pinch of salt Preparation 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Toss the almonds with the maple syrup or brown sugar and spread them out in a single layer on the baking sheet. Toast until very fragrant, minutes. Remove from oven and let cool. Reduce the oven temperature to 325 degrees.

38 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 5 of 6 3/21/ In a food processor, grind the cooled almonds with half of the sugar, using the pulse motion, until finely ground. Combine the ground nuts, the coconut, and the amaretto or almond extract, if you are using it, in a large bowl. 3. Beat the egg whites in another bowl with the salt until they form soft peaks. Gradually add the remaining sugar and continue beating until stiff but not dry. Gently fold the whites into the almond-coconut mixture. 4. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. (You will probably need either to use two cookie sheets or work in batches.) Drop heaping tablespoons of batter on the cookie sheet, about 2 inches apart. Flatten the tops slightly. Bake for about 15 minutes, or until just dry to the touch and light golden with pale brown edges. Remove the sheet from the oven, and transfer to a rack to cool or slide the parchment paper off. Don't remove the macaroons until they have cooled completely, then carefully separate them. They store well in airtight containers for at least 5 days. Yield: macaroons Cook's Note: This is also very good when pecans are substituted for the almonds. Be sure to use light brown granulated sugar. Mango and Sour Cherry Macaroon Crumble Around Passover at our house macaroons tend to proliferate like wire coat hangers from the dry cleaners. In addition to the ones I make, there are the cakey commercial variety I purchase from my nephews, who peddle Passover sweets as a fund-raiser for their school. A luscious fruit crumble is a fresh way to make use of the leftovers, and other suggestions follow this recipe (see Cook's Note). Ingredients 1 cup amaretto 1 large, ripe mango, peeled, pitted, and cut into small chunks (1 1/2 to 1 3/4 cups) 1 cup canned, pitted sour cherries, packed in water (8 ounces), drained 2 tablespoons dried cherries or dried cranberries 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg, preferably freshly grated 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 1/2 cups macaroons (homemade or commercial variety), crumbled 1/2 cup almonds, lightly toasted and coarsely chopped pinch of salt 3 tablespoons unsalted butter or margarine, cut into bits, plus additional for greasing the pan Optional accompaniment: vanilla ice cream 1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. In a small saucepan, reduce the amaretto to 1/2 cup over medium-high heat. Combine the mango, sour cherries, dried cherries or cranberries, nutmeg, and cinnamon in a bowl. Pour the hot amaretto over the fruit and stir with a wooden spoon to coat evenly. Set aside for about 30 minutes to macerate. 2. If the macaroons are very moist, toast them lightly on a baking sheet for 5-10 minutes, then let cool. Or leave them out overnight to dry until they are crumbly. Chop the macaroons by hand or in a food processor using the pulse motion. Transfer to a bowl and mix with the almonds and salt. Work in the butter with your fingers until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. 3. Butter an 8- to 10-inch glass or ceramic pie pan or similar ovenproof dish. Spoon the fruit and accumulated juices into the prepared pan. Scatter the macaroon mixture evenly on top. Bake for minutes, or until the fruit is bubbling and the topping is golden brown. Serve warm or cold, topped, if desired, with vanilla ice cream. Yield: About 6 servings Cook's Note Here are some other ways to use macaroons: Old-fashioned Biscuit Tortoni: Pack softened ice cream (some suggestions: vanilla, coffee, cherry vanilla) into paper cups. Sprinkle the tops generously with crushed macaroon crumbs and press in firmly. Or fold some crushed macaroons into the softened ice cream, then top with additional crushed macaroons. Wrap tightly with plastic wrap and freeze until solid, at least 2 hours. Italian-style baked fruit: Lightly sweeten pear or peach halves. (If peaches are not flavorful-- they are out of season in spring--slice them with equal amounts of mango.) Combine crumbled macaroons with some butter and stuff the fruit halves with the mixture (or flatten the mixture into disks and place over the sliced fruit). Place fruit in a baking dish, and sprinkle with toasted almonds. Add a few tablespoons of white grape juice or other sweet fruit juice or wine to the pan to keep the fruit moist and prevent it from sticking, and bake until the fruit is tender and juicy, basting occasionally with the pan liquid. Stir crushed macaroons into fruit compotes. Bake finely crushed macaroons until dry and use for cookie crumb crusts-especially good for cheesecake or ice cream pies. What do you think?

39 Passover and Easter - InterfaithFamily.com Page 6 of 6 3/21/2007 Jayne Cohen is the co-author, with Lori Weinrott, of The Ultimate Bar/Bat Mitzvah Celebration Book: A Guide to Inspiring Ceremonies and Joyous Festivities. InterfaithFamily.com P.O. Box 428, Newton, MA network@interfaithfamily.com Privacy Policy

40 Outreach - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 4 3/22/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE Life-Cycle Ceremonies Holidays Relationships Spirituality Arts and Entertainment News and Opinion The Outreach Debate Demographics Outreach Success Stories Rabbinic Officiation at Intermarriages Intermarriage and the Reform Movement Intermarriage and the Conservative Movement Newsmakers Israel and Interfaith Families Anti-Semitism and Interfaith Families The Holocaust and Interfaith Families September 11 Teaching About Other Religions The Threat of Messianic Judaism InterfaithFamily.com InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE Home > Article Archive > News and Opinion > The Outreach Debate The Truth About Matrilineal Descent By J.R. Wilheim A mamzer who is a scholar takes precedence over a High Priest who is an ignoramus.-- Babylonian Talmud, Horayot 13a Since I became involved in Jewish life about seven years ago, I have had the pleasure of meeting a number of Jews who, like me, are the children of a Jewish father and a non-jewish mother. Aside from the feelings of anger and alienation caused by our inequitable treatment within the Jewish community--treatment that many Jews with two Jewish parents fail to notice- -the problems we experience goes far beyond being denied ritual honors or formal membership in an Orthodox or Conservative synagogue. What I have most often noticed in other "patrilineal" Jews is a profound perplexity at our exclusion. Why, we often wonder, are segments of the Jewish community compelled to treat children of intermarriage in such an insensitive, cookie-cutter way--deciding that whether we are considered part of the Jewish family depends on the arbitrary fact of our being the fruit of Jewish sperm or a Jewish egg? Having majored in religion in college, I have had the opportunity to examine the sources of matrilineal descent in Judaism in a way that few other patrilineal Jews have. In the hopes of lessening the confusion many patrilineal Jews feel about their situation, and of helping us all to achieve some measure of justice from the organized Jewish community, I want to give all patrilineal Jews the facts--scriptural, halakhic (Jewish legal), and sociological--they need to counter the arguments for our exclusion. When we come to those who would exclude us with the real facts in hand, I firmly believe, the wider Jewish community will be forced to admit that there is not a single argument given for reckoning Jewish descent matrilineally that can withstand the heat of serious scrutiny. While it is impossible to treat this topic fully within the limits of a short article, I hope that what I can provide will prompt others who have been wrongfully denied their birthright to investigate the sources further and thereby be able to challenge this entrenched form of discrimination within Judaism. The most commonly given rationales for matrilineal descent are: 1. an interpretation of Deuteronomy 7:3-4, later encoded in the Mishnah (a compendium of oral interpretations of the Torah), and the expulsion of the foreign wives in the book of Ezra 2. the certainty of maternity, versus the uncertainty of paternity 3. supposed rabbinic humanitarian concern for Jewish women who had been raped, and their children 4. the "need" of the community to punish men who have intermarried 5. the inalienable nature of the Jewish covenant with God. As I will show, all of these rationales are inadequate, and some are ethically dubious. Scripture and Halakha (Jewish Law) Chapter 7 of Deuteronomy deals with how the Israelites are to interact with seven idolatrous peoples of the land of Canaan, which they will soon occupy. Deuteronomy 7:3-4 states: You shall not intermarry with them [members of these peoples]; you shall not give your daughter to his son, and you shall not take his daughter for your son, for he will cause your child to turn away from after Me and they will worship the gods of others; then [God's] wrath will burn against you, and He will destroy you quickly. 1 The lower-case "he" (as opposed to the uppercase "He," God) who will "turn your son away" is taken by later sources in the Babylonian Talmud (Kiddushin 68b) to refer to a non-israelite man married to an Israelite woman. Why is no concern raised over the possibility that a non- Israelite woman will turn "your son" away? Presumably, traditional interpretations suppose,

41 Outreach - InterfaithFamily.com Page 2 of 4 3/22/2007 powered by FreeFind Find Featured Partners/Funders/Links Login Login Name: Password: Not Signed Up? Find Out More. because the child of an Israelite man and non-israelite woman is not "your son"--that is, is not Jewish to begin with. Read in their historical context, however, these verses in Deuteronomy almost certainly do not have this meaning. In the ancient Near East, religion was not a matter of private devotion but of tribal identity. When a man took a woman in marriage--women rarely had the right to choose a husband--it was taken for granted that she would join his household and, if he belonged to a different tribe, begin worshipping the gods of his people. In this context, Deuteronomy 7:3-4 most likely expresses no concern over a non-israelite woman's turning "your son" away not because such a child is not Jewish but because such a child is unquestionably Jewish. Those of us who belong to interfaith families can see the clear ethical problems inherent in this traditional interpretation of these verses. It is no longer morally acceptable for the community to tell Jewish grandparents that they should regard some of their grandchildren as their grandchildren, and others as somehow not their grandchildren. Although it was once common for Jews to mourn for children who have intermarried as if they were dead, this custom is no longer endorsed even by Orthodox rabbis, who now strongly counsel parents of an intermarrying child to maintain a relationship with their child, the non-jewish spouse, and any grandchildren. By declaring some of these grandchildren not their grandchildren, the Jewish community interferes with the shalom bayit ("peace in the home," or, more generally, family harmony) of families affected by intermarriage. A further argument for matrilineality from scripture is made on the basis of the Book of Ezra, in which King Ezra expels the non-jewish wives of Jewish men residing in Israel with the admonition that it be done "according to the Torah" (Ezra 10:3). The traditional interpretation of the words "according to the Torah" is that the Torah permits the expulsion on the grounds that these women, and their children, are non-jewish, as per the interpretation of Deuteronomy 7:3-4 given above, and that non-jewish husbands of Jewish wives are not expelled because the offspring are Jewish. But it is far more probable that Ezra is not justifying his actions based on this specific reading of Deuteronomy (which modern biblical scholarship suggests had not even been written by Ezra's time 2 ) but rather arguing that the Torah gives the community the power to expel foreigners who are engaged in idolatry. Given the social context of the ancient Near East as discussed above, it is also probable that the non-jewish husbands of Jewish women are not mentioned in Ezra because a Jewish woman married to a non-jewish man would have become part of her husband's tribe, and therefore her husband and children would not have been in Israel for Ezra to expel. The Certainty of Maternity A common argument for matrilineal descent given by laypeople within the Orthodox and Conservative movements (though not by their rabbis) is the "certainty" of maternity as opposed to the "uncertainty" of paternity--that is, the identity of a child's mother is always known, whereas the identity of a child's father is not. This argument does not bear scrutiny for two reasons: 1) In 1 Kings 3:22, two prostitutes come before King Solomon, both claiming to be the mother of a particular child--indicating that even the Bible recognizes that the identity of a child's mother cannot always be known with certainty; and 2) in determining whether a child is a Kohen, a Levite, or an ordinary Jew, Jewish law uses patrilineal, rather than matrilineal, descent. Indeed, the section of the Mishnah that spells this out, Kiddushin 3:12, makes clear that, when the potential for valid marriage exists between a child's parents--that is, when the child's parents are not forbidden to each other under Jewish law, regardless of their actual marital status--the child receives not only his tribal identity, but also his status as a Jew, not from his mother, but from his father. For these reasons, the certainty of maternity cannot be the basis of matrilineal descent. Rabbinic Pity for Jewish Women Who Had Been Raped It is sometimes argued that Judaism became matrilineal after the Bar Kokhba rebellion (a Jewish revolt against the Romans in C.E.), when many Jewish women were raped by Roman soldiers. Although a convenient argument for those who feel desperate to find any ethical basis for defining Jewish identity by matrilineal descent, this argument fails for two reasons. First, the passage defining the status of children of a non-jewish woman in the Mishnah, Kiddushin 3:12, does not deal with rape but rather with the validity of marriage between a Jewish man and various kinds of women. Second, multiple sources in the Mishnah (Yevamot 4:13, 4:16, and 7:5) indicate that the child of a Jewish woman and a non-jewish man is not an ordinary Jew but rather a mamzer, a child of various prohibited sexual relationships such as incest and adultery who is not permitted to marry a non- mamzer. Although this opinion is not followed in Orthodox and Conservative communities today, it is inconceivable that the rabbis of the Mishnah would have concluded such a child is a mamzer if their chief concern were pity for women who had been raped--for how would bearing a child who will be an object of stigma in the Jewish community, and unable to marry most other Jews, be a comfort to a rape victim? The Jewish Community's "Need" to Punish Men Who Intermarry This is not a particularly common argument for retaining matrilineal descent, but I choose to address it here because it has been raised by, among others, Judith Hauptmann, a Talmud

42 Outreach - InterfaithFamily.com Page 3 of 4 3/22/2007 scholar widely known for her work in advancing feminist scholarship of Judaism 3, a fact that should be particularly galling to those who care about gender equality in Jewish life. The purpose of all of rabbinic laws concerning marriages between persons of different status, Hauptmann has argued, is to punish a Jew who "transgresses the law in marrying someone of unacceptable religious status or different racial stock." 4 Hauptmann proceeds to argue that the modern Jewish community should not rescind matrilineal descent because doing so would have the effect of removing a punishment against Jewish men who intermarry. This argument is, at its core, nothing but pure sexism. Hauptmann and others who make it never seem concerned that Jewish law provides no similar punishment for Jewish women who intermarry. This inequity arguably discriminates against Jewish women more than against Jewish men, because it denies Jewish women equal responsibility to choose a Jewish spouse. More to the point, it is entirely unclear how reading the children of intermarried Jewish men out of the Jewish fold punishes these men, as opposed to their children. Nor is it clear why the rabbis would want to punish a child for an act committed before his or her birth. A corollary argument, more commonly advanced by lay Jews and rabbis alike, is that enacting non-lineal descent--that is, determining the status of a child of intermarriage by upbringing rather than by the arbitrary fact of maternal or paternal birth--discourages the conversion of the non-jewish woman in an intermarriage. Again, nothing but sexism supports the argument, since matrilineal descent provides no incentive for non-jewish men married to Jewish women to convert to Judaism. The Inalienable Nature of the Jewish Covenant and of Jewish Identity Judaism defines Jewish identity by matrilineal descent, it is sometimes argued, because the nature of the covenant between God and Israel is one of inalienable destiny and obligation. A Jew by birth obtains all of his or her obligations to perform mitzvoth (commandments) through birth, not through a ritual act, as with Christian baptism, or through an individual choice to be so commanded. Thus, Jewish identity is seen as a matter of automatic fate, not of chosen faith. Popular opinion notwithstanding, however, halakhic sources are not unanimous in conferring Jewish identity on the child of a Jewish mother and non-jewish father regardless of upbringing. A number of medieval authorities hold that the child of a Jewish mother and non- Jewish father can be considered Jewish by birth only if raised as a Jew and only if he conducts himself as a Jew 5. Clearly, then, the idea of Jewish identity as a product of upbringing rather than as an accident of birth--the idea at the heart of non-lineal descent--is not without precedent; it does not, as some proponents of matrilineal descent claim, depart radically from a norm of Jewish identity universally held by all Jews for millennia. Conclusion What, then, is the reason for matrilineal descent? If traditional Judaism does not reckon Jewish identity by matrilineal descent for any of the reasons outlined above, what is the reason? Professor Shaye Cohen, who devoted an entire chapter to the origins of matrilineal descent in his book The Beginnings of Jewishness 6, was ultimately forced to admit that he has no idea why the rabbis chose to break with biblical practice and institute matrilineality 7. There is no clear reason that Judaism has to be matrilineal, except that it has been so for many centuries. And there is even less reason that we should accept discrimination supported not merely by bad reasons, but by no reason at all. For Further Reading Scripture The Chumash, Stone Edition. (Mesorah Publications, Brooklyn, N.Y., 1993). Although not the most accurate translation of the Torah, this edition, put out by a right-wing Orthodox publisher, translates the relevant portion of Deuteronomy in a non-gender-neutral way. Additionally, the Stone Chumash, as it is known, has been translated to conform to the opinions of later medieval commentators, particularly Rashi (a comprehensive Bible and Talmud commentator of the 11th century C.E.). Mesorah also publishes an edition of the Tanakh (Hebrew Bible), which contiains the portions of the Ezra and 1 Kings cited above. Scholarship and Commentary Cohen, Shaye J.D., The Beginnings of Jewishness. (Berkeley University of California Press, 1999). Cohen's book deals extensively with the origins of matrilineal descent, as well as with the origin of Judaism's traditional prohibition on intermarriage. He includes some theories for the origins of matrilineal descent which I have not included here, largely because they are not commonly heard in the Jewish community today. Definitely worth a read. Jewishjustice.com. This website, created and maintained by Jessy Lister, herself a patrilineal Jew, is a treasure trove of information on the origins of matrilineal descent. In addition to scholarship of the Torah, Tanakh, and Talmud, Lister has also explored the issue of Jewish descent in the works of Josephus, a major chronicler of the Jewish War against Rome in 66-

43 Outreach - InterfaithFamily.com Page 4 of 4 3/22/ C.E. Judaism. Winter In Winter 1985, the scholarly journal Judaism devoted an entire issue to the identity of children of mixed marriage. In addition to containing the articles by Judith Hauptmann and J. David Bleich I cited in this article, the issue contains pieces by a number of Jewish scholars of all Jewish denominations on the topic of patrilineal descent. 1 Translation is taken from The Chumash [Five Books of Moses], Stone Edition. (Mesorah Publications. Brooklyn, N.Y., 1993). This is one of the most literal of Jewish translations of the Torah available. Many other Jewish translations, including that of the Jewish Publication Society, translate this "he" as "they"--indicating that their understanding of the verse is gender-neutral and therefore does not necessarily lend itself to the traditional reading I have outlined here. 2 For a fuller treatment of the origins of the Hebrew Bible, see Friedman, Richard Elliott, Who Wrote the Bible? (Summit Books, New York, 1987). 3 See "Patrilineal Descent--an Examination of Non-Lineal Descent." Judaism, Winter 1985, pp Ibid. 5 See Bleich, J. David. "The Patrilineal Principle: The Crucial Concern". Judaism. Winter 1985, pp Cohen, Shaye J.D. The Beginnings of Jewishness. (Berkeley University of California Press, 1999). 7 Ibid., p J.R. Wilheim is the son of an interfaith family and a former student of religion. InterfaithFamily.com P.O. Box 428, Newton, MA network@interfaithfamily.com Privacy Policy

44 Films, Theater, TV and Music - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 3 3/21/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE Life-Cycle Ceremonies Holidays Relationships Spirituality Arts and Entertainment Books Films, Theater, TV and Music Interviews and Profiles News and Opinion InterfaithFamily.com InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE powered by FreeFind Find Featured Partners/Funders/Links Home > Article Archive > Arts and Entertainment > Films, Theater, TV and Music Interfaith Celebrities: Play Ball! By Nate Bloom The start of the major league baseball season and Passover are two annual milestones that proclaim that spring is finally here. This year baseball's opening day (Monday, April 2) actually coincides with the date of the first night of Passover (of course so does the NCAA basketball championship game, but that's a whole 'nother story). As in most recent years, this season about half the active major leaguers identified as Jewish by Jewish Sports Review, a bimonthly newsletter, have interfaith backgrounds. Jewish Sports Review is the premiere source on "who is Jewish" in baseball (and many other sports) on the high school, college, and pro level. The Review is a non-profit labor-of-love by two guys I consider friends and virtually every good source on "who is Jewish" in baseball is built on the Review's hard work. So, I think it's important to credit them. The content is not available online, but you can order the Review at jewishsportsreview.com Before discussing the players, I thought readers might like to know the "inside scoop" on how the Review finds out a player is Jewish and what their definition of "Jewish" entails. Every once in a while, the Review adds a player because he is clearly identified as Jewish in a very Texas Rangers second baseman Ian Kinsler is a promising young player from an interfaith family. The 24-year-old hit.286, with a.347 on-base percentage, 14 home runs and 11 stolen bases in an injuryshortened season last year. REUTERS/Rebecca Cook good news source like an interview. More often, they decide to contact a player (or a player's representative or very close family member)--because of a tip or because the player has a "Jewish sounding" name. If they are told (by the player or his rep) that the player has one or more Jewish parents--they then inquire if the player was raised in and/or currently adheres to a faith other than Judaism. If the player answers "yes" to either of those questions--that ends the Review's inquiries and they don't cover the player. On the other hand, if they are told the player was raised Jewish or "nothing"--the Review then asks if the player has any objection to being identified as Jewish in the pages of the Review. If not, then they add him. Suiting up for the 2007 season are five major league players with two Jewish parents: Kevin Youkilis (Boston Red Sox); Jason Hirsch (Colorado Rockies); Jason Marquis (Chicago Cubs) and Shawn Green (New York Mets). The other Jewish major league players all have one Jewish parent: Mike Lieberthal (Los Angeles Dodgers); Brad Ausmus (Astros); Scott Schoeneweis (Mets); Scott Feldman and Ian Kinsler (Texas Rangers) and John Grabow (Pittsburgh Pirates). The best of the bunch is probably Youkilis, who was very productive as a non-traditional leadoff hitter and first baseman for the Sox last year. He has belowaverage power for his position, but he draws tons of walks, which led to his nickname in the minor leagues, "The Greek God of Walks." The one with the most distinguished career--and really the thirdbest Jewish ballplayer ever, after Sandy Koufax and Hank Greenberg--is Green, who is in the tail end of his career and may be a bench player by the end of

45 Films, Theater, TV and Music - InterfaithFamily.com Page 2 of 3 3/21/2007 Login Login Name: Password: Not Signed Up? Find Out More. Kevin Youkilis, first baseman for the Boston Red Sox, is currently the best of an OK bunch of Jewish major leaguers. REUTERS/Steve Nesius the season. But the one most likely to get his family great Hanukkah gifts this year is Marquis, who signed a 3-year $21 million deal in the offseason despite being one of the worst pitchers in the majors last year. Kinsler, a young second baseman with good speed and power, and Hirsch, a pitcher only a year removed from top prospect status, could both end up having productive careers as major leaguers. Interestingly, the Review recently decided to discontinue its practice of noting whether a player from an interfaith background has a Jewish father or a Jewish mother. However, they will answer subscriber questions about this and if any reader of this column wants to write me and ask, I will answer. The Review also periodically publishes an updated list of all the Jewish players who have ever made the majors. This list includes some guys with interesting interfaith backgrounds. For example, there's Micah Franklin, an outfielder who played for the St. Louis Cardinals in Franklin, who is the child of a white Jewish mother and a non-jewish black father, also played for pro ball for a Japanese team with a very funny name: the Nippon Ham Fighters. When he was on this team a lot of people joked that Franklin was helping to make Japan a kosher country. Their "all-time" list includes a few converts to Judaism, including Elliott Maddox, an African- American outfielder who played for the New York Yankees and Mets and is quite active in the Jewish community; Joel Horlen, a very good pitcher who mostly played for the Chicago White Sox; and Steve Yeager, an excellent defensive catcher who mostly played for the Los Angeles Dodgers and was World Series co-mvp in Yeager converted when he married the daughter of Holocaust survivors and--give the guy a lot of credit--he was circumcised at 40. By the way, despite what Adam Sandler said in his first "Chanukah Song," Hall-of-Famer Rod Carew never converted to Judaism. When asked about this long-standing rumor about his conversion, Carew politely replies that his wife is Jewish and that his children were raised Jewish, but that he never converted to Judaism. Like with any list of famous Jews, there is some controversy about "who is a Jew." Just two undisputedly Jewish players are in the Baseball Hall of Fame: Greenberg and Koufax. But, there's Lou Boudreau, a Hall-of-Fame shortstop whose mother was Jewish. However, Boudreau's parents split up when he was very young and he was raised by his father in his father's Christian faith. It was not even known, until long after he retired, that his mother was Jewish. The Review--to avoid endless questions--covers Boudreau as a footnote to its all-time list and describes his upbringing. Meanwhile, Jewish baseball fans continue to bat around Boudreau's Jewish status in s. So, play ball! (And enjoy your matzah ball soup). Checking in with the Chiklis Family "The Shield," FX cable network's gritty police show, begins its sixth season on Tuesday, April 3 (10 p.m.). Returning in the lead role of Detective Vic Mackey is actor Michael Chiklis, who has won an Emmy and a Golden Globe for portraying Mackey. Chilkilis, 43, grew up in Massachusetts, the son of Greek immigrant parents. Sources are unclear whether the actor still practices the Greek Orthodox faith he was born into. In 1992, Michael married former actress Michelle Moran, who is Jewish (I'm not sure how she got her last name--maybe a stage name). The couple has two daughters: Autumn, 13, and Odessa, 7. Michael and Michelle are members of a prominent Los Angeles Reform temple. Autumn attended the temple's day school through sixth grade graduation and Michael Chiklis, star of "The Shield," and his Jewish wife Michelle Moran are members of a prominent Reform temple in Los Angeles. REUTERS/Fred Prouser

46 Films, Theater, TV and Music - InterfaithFamily.com Page 3 of 3 3/21/2007 Odessa is still enrolled there. (The temple's newsletter has the nice practice of congratulating Michael every time he wins an acting award). Last September, Autumn had what one paper described as a "glitzy bat mitzvah." The entire cast of "The Shield" attended. Michael, who can sing, joined his buddies from the famous rock band Boston to entertain the reception guests. Autumn Chiklis has appeared in 19 "The Shield" episodes to date as Cassidy Mackey, Michael's character's daughter. I don't know if Michael has eased up since, but in when his daughter was only 11--he told an interviewer that Autumn was still too young to see entire episodes of "The Shield." Michael screened his daughter's scenes for her, but didn't let her see complete episodes. Last summer, Michael Chiklis joined about 80 prominent Hollywood figures, Jewish and non- Jewish, in signing a pro-israel petition that was published as a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times. The ad appeared as the Lebanon War raged. Nate Bloom writes a column on Jewish celebrities, broadly defined, that appears in five Jewish newspapers. If you have any comments or wish to republish parts of this article, please contact Bloom via editor@interfaithfamily.com. InterfaithFamily.com P.O. Box 428, Newton, MA network@interfaithfamily.com Privacy Policy

47 Books - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 3 3/21/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE Life-Cycle Ceremonies Holidays Relationships Spirituality Arts and Entertainment Books Films, Theater, TV and Music Interviews and Profiles News and Opinion InterfaithFamily.com InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE powered by FreeFind Find Featured Partners/Funders/Links Home > Article Archive > Arts and Entertainment > Books The Four Questions Meet the Four Noble Truths By Louise Crawford Review of Haggadah for Jews & Buddhists by Elizabeth Pearce-Glassheim (Modern Haggadah Distribution, 2006). Even though I grew up in an agnostic Jewish family, the Passover seder was an important event every year. Passover was the only Jewish holiday we ever celebrated. We rarely went to synagogue and didn't even light Hanukkah candles. We actually celebrated Christmas although both of my parents were Jewish. Privately, I had intermittent longings to be more Jewish than we were. I tried to fast on Yom Kippur-- though I was rarely able to make it through the whole day. I wanted to eat only matzah during the eight days of Passover--but it was hard to resist the French toast my mother prepared for breakfast in the morning. I have early memories of sitting with my mother's extended family at the large modern dining room table in our Manhattan apartment listening to my grandfather read from a Maxwell House hagaddah. Less than 6 years old, I remember being bored and wildly hungry as he read. But I could tell that something important was going on because my normally gentle grandfather adopted a dramatic tone that conveyed reverence and gravity. This night really was different from all other nights. Over the years the story of the Jew's exodus from Egypt, their journey from slavery to freedom, became my story. It was both familiar and strange and something I looked forward to hearing again and again. When I became an adult I learned that there were as many styles of Passover seders as there are Jews. In college, I attended lefty Jewish seders with a group of self-styled anarchists, socialist Zionists, and atheists, who emphasized the struggles of all people to be free. Later, I became obsessed with the Holocaust and attended a seder that incorporated the Warsaw Ghetto uprising and the words of Primo Levi and Elie Wiesel. During a year-long sojourn in Israel, I celebrated a secular Passover on a kibbutz with hundreds of other people. When I was a 20-something, my family Passover seders stopped. My parents divorced, my grandparents were dead and my cousins were grown up and developing new traditions with their new families. Then I intermarried a WASP-y guy from northern California, a lapsed Presbyterian brought up by a mother who describes herself as an animist. After our kids were born, he was open to as much Judaism as I wanted to give them--he finds the whole thing to be an interesting adventure. I knew I wanted our seder to be as important to my children as it was to me. Needless to say, it was up to me to "produce" the family's seder. Whether we were having family, friends, or just ourselves, I always led the seder and selected the hagaddah we were going to use. For many years we used The Four Questions, a children's book written by novelist Lynn Sharon Schwartz that was just right for two growing children. We let them nibble on matzah while we read.

48 Books - InterfaithFamily.com Page 2 of 3 3/21/2007 While our seders are a little offbeat, they do hover closely to certain traditions. Login Login Name: Password: Not Signed Up? Find Out More. So it was with some trepidation that I approached the Haggadah for Jews & Buddhists. While Buddhist meditation practice is very important to me, I am not all that adventurous when it comes to Passover. That's because Passover is my one big Jewish moment. While we do celebrate Hanukkah and acknowledge the New Year and Yom Kippur, it is Passover--from buying the matzah, gefilte fish, and sweet Kosher wine, chopping apples for the charoset, roasting the brisket, setting the table with our best plates and silver and the seder itself--when I attempt to instill a modicum of Jewish tradition in my children. But as I read through the Jewish/Buddhist hagaddah, an attempt to express the universal theme of Passover to traditional Jews, Buddhists and people of diverse spiritual leanings, my trepidation melted away and I found myself intrigued by the idea of trying something new. Right from start, this hagaddah, written by Elizabeth Pearce-Glassheim, speaks to the symbolic power of the holiday as it describes the enslavement of the Jews and their journey to freedom as a metaphor for consciousness and our own striving for release from attachment and toward spiritual growth. Whoa. The age of the new-age seder has really arrived. While this hagaddah is structurally the same as Reform-style seders and includes all the familiar sections, it's the language and interpretation that makes all the difference. "Passover embodies our desire to connect with all facets of our lives, to remember that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and to help us to remember all the ways that we enslave ourselves when we are not deciding with our right mind and when we lapse into automatic, familiar thought patterns." I can just hear my father: "Where did you find this meshuganah hagaddah?" And then, "We enslave ourselves when we remain in the Mitzayrim (the narrow place) of confusion and disconnection with our own and others' essential nature." "What is this: Passover or therapy?" I can hear my sister saying. I jumped ahead to the Four Questions, probably the most important part of the seder for the way that it perpetuates the Jewish tradition of questions and dialogue. In this section, the authors speaks directly to the traditionalist, the humanist or secular Jew, the Buddhist, and non-jewish friends, a thought-provoking attempt to explain the universal meanings of Passover to a diverse group of people. As I read it, I recognized that my Buddhist self has everything to do with my secular Judaism. I was introduced to meditation by a Jewish friend and found it to be my first real experience of a divine power. It offered me access to the universe, to God, to "whatever," that I never felt in a synagogue. And yet, my experience with Buddhist meditation helped me understand the meaning of prayer and reflection for Jews and others. Practicing Buddhist meditation has not made me feel any less Jewish or any less capable of passing on Jewish history and my brand of secular Judaism to my children. Now the really big question: Do I want to integrate these two traditions and conduct a Jewish/Buddhist seder? I think it's worth a try. If I can communicate Passover's message of freedom while conveying my interest in self-discovery and spiritual growth to my children, I say why not? Whatever happens, it should, at the very least, provoke a great conversation over our gefilte fish. Louise Crawford, a Park Slope, Brooklyn, mom, writes the column Smartmom for The Brooklyn Papers and also operates Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn. As a freelance writer, she writes and edits a monthly newsletter for the Counseling Unit of the FDNY for family members who lost loved ones on 9/11. She is at work on a novel called Crossing the River about a serial subletter.

49 Books - InterfaithFamily.com Page 1 of 2 3/21/2007 HOME RESOURCE PAGES CURRENT WEB MAGAZINE ISSUE ARTICLE ARCHIVE Life-Cycle Ceremonies Holidays Relationships Spirituality Arts and Entertainment Books Films, Theater, TV and Music Interviews and Profiles News and Opinion InterfaithFamily.com InterfaithFamily.com Magazine Past Issues By Year CONNECTIONS IN YOUR AREA BLOGS DISCUSSION BOARDS NEWS AND ADVOCACY ABOUT IFF PRESS ROOM STORE powered by FreeFind Find Featured Partners/Funders/Links Home > Article Archive > Arts and Entertainment > Books Jewish Holidays 101: A Book about the Jewish Holidays for Non-Jews By Tracy Hahn-Burkett Review of Jewish Holidays: A Brief Introduction for Christians, by Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky and Rabbi Daniel Judson (Jewish Lights Publishing, 2006). Spring approaches, and your thoughts as usual turn to daffodils, longer days, melting snow and Easter. But now you're in an interfaith relationship, and you find yourself invited to a Jewish home for a Passover seder. You've heard this word before, but you don't really know what it means and you're worried that you won't understand a thing or, worse yet, that you'll commit some religious or social faux pas. What do you do? Pick up a copy of Jewish Holidays: A Brief Introduction for Christians, by Kerry M. Olitzky and Daniel Judson. Olitzky and Judson, both rabbis, have put together an informative and accessible guide to Jewish holidays for the uninitiated. Beginning with Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, the authors guide the reader on a journey through a Jewish year and illustrate how the holidays define the rhythms of Jewish life. The authors' discussion of each holiday lays out the essentials: the historical basis for the holiday, common and not-so-common observances, and, where appropriate, ways in which the holiday's meaning and traditions are still evolving. For additional guidance, Olitzky and Judson conclude the book with a brief description of the four major Jewish movements in the United States and Canada and a quick-reference glossary. Non-Jewish in-laws, friends and family members who wish to participate in Jewish celebrations will find that Jewish Holidays lays a solid foundation of knowledge that will enable them to take part in observances without feeling totally lost, and from which they can join in that most beloved of Jewish activities: asking more questions. Moreover, although the book is valuable as a simple reference tool to look up and learn about individual holidays, a more thorough reading will offer a sense of how important holidays are to Jews and how much of Jewish life is really structured around them, including the essential weekly holiday of Shabbat, the Sabbath. The authors also thread through the book the critical themes of unity, survival, freedom and victory over oppression. The authors' most ambitious endeavor in the book is the section at the end of each chapter that draws parallels between each Jewish holiday and one or more Christian holidays. This effort to make Jewish holidays more accessible to Christians is laudable and often accomplishes its goal; however, the authors are too wedded to their own technique and at times have to stretch to find parallels that aren't really useful. For example, Christians will recognize the theme of atonement that is the hallmark of Yom Kippur, but the authors' attempt to illuminate the beating of willow branches on Sukkot by discussing "Easter smacks" in European springtime festivals--even after they note that Sukkot has few Christian religious parallels--falls flat and perhaps even augments confusion non-jews may have regarding Sukkot. In addition, forcing every Jewish holiday through a Christian prism may cloud the true significance of these holidays by discouraging the reader from focusing on the holidays' meanings on their own terms. Another potential weakness in the book is the authors' decision to begin with the High Holy Days. It is a logical place to begin in one sense; why not, after all, begin a discussion of a year with the holiday that celebrates the year's commencement? Non-Jewish readers, however, may find the angry, jealous God described here--as well as the extremely serious focus of the