Manage Your Wife. Priorities and Trade-offs to Maximize your Marriage
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- Hector Quinn
- 5 years ago
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1 Manage Your Wife
2 Manage Your Wife Priorities and Trade-offs to Maximize your Marriage
3 Manage Your Wife - 1 Some have heard it before five years ago! Your wives are considering Overwhelmed! We have had recent preaching on marriage. God made you men and your wives for you. If you do not help her you miss His blessing.
4 Manage Your Wife - 2 God made your wife for your benefit (Gen 2:18). You are to lead her and she is to follow. Christian wives like yours want to please. But she can default to imbalance in priorities. Roads have two ditches even as a husband.
5 Roads Have Two Ditches We want the center of the road
6 Avoiding the Ditches We want the center of the road as husbands. We must hate ditches that defeat our wives. Reject the over-manage or overwork ditch. Reject the under-manage or under work ditch. We want wise balance to maximize marriage.
7 What Is a Wife For? Companionship Sex Domestic help Income Bearing children Hostess Church servant Home schooling
8 She Needs Direction How can she know your priorities in marriage? She will likely not default to your preferences. You may be disappointed by her deficiencies. You may be an onerous husband breaking her. She may miss her full potential in life and love.
9 Your Wife Is for Joy Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9
10 Your Wife Is for Joy Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9
11 Your Wife Is for Joy Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9
12 Manage Your Wife If she is not perfect thrilling you why not? Is overworking your wife the fault? Is under working your wife the fault? You lose blessing and joy in either case. You crush or spoil her from fulfilling her role.
13 You Are Responsible And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Genesis 3:16
14 You Are Responsible And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Genesis 3:16
15 You Are Responsible And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Genesis 3:16
16 You Are in Charge But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. I Corinthians 11:3
17 You Are in Charge But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. I Corinthians 11:3
18 Why Love Your Wife? Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27
19 Why Love Your Wife? Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27
20 Why Love Your Wife? Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27
21 Why Love Your Wife? Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27
22 Why Love Your Wife? Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27
23 Loving Yourself So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: Ephesians 5:28-29
24 Loving Yourself So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: Ephesians 5:28-29
25 Loving Yourself So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: Ephesians 5:28-29
26 Loving Yourself So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: Ephesians 5:28-29
27 A Good Manager Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:7
28 A Good Manager Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:7
29 A Good Manager Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:7
30 A Good Manager Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:7
31 A Good Manager Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:7
32 A Good Manager Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:7
33 Cherish Your Wife Treat her as very special to you personally. Tell her how important and special she is to you. Your goal is her perfection as wife for you. You must encourage and help her be the best. She can thrill you if you choose to cherish her.
34 Nourish Your Wife Provide what she needs to grow to be better. Give her direction to be more productive. Allow her time and opportunity to branch out. Encourage her in her growth as a better wife. Praise her before others as she gets better.
35 What Else Does God Say? It is your job to cheer her up (Deut 24:5). It is your duty to be ravished by her (Pr 5:19). You cannot be bitter about her (Col 3:19). God sees any grief in her heart (Mal 2:10-14). Proverbs 31:10-31 is a very high standard.
36 You Know What To Do You have had good bosses that got your best. You have had bad bosses that crushed you. But you always got to quit your bad jobs! She never gets to quit as your wife! She is God s daughter to you so be careful.
37 Roads Have Two Ditches We want the center of the road
38 Avoiding the Ditches We want the center of the road as husbands. We must hate ditches that defeat our wives. Reject the over-manage or overwork ditch. Reject the under-manage or under work ditch. We want wise balance to maximize marriage.
39 It Is Your Loss Hearing sad husbands of problem wives hurts. Seeing bad management of a good wife hurts. Knowing that you are missing life s best hurts. She also misses God s best because of you. Your children will know you caused the loss.
40 Maximize Your Wife! She can likely please you more that she does. Are you breaking her eager, willing spirit? Are you letting her default to human folly? She only needs your direction a good wife. But is your direction considerate and wise?!
41 A Three-Talent Wife 3
42 A Four-Talent Wife 4
43 A Five-Talent Wife 5
44 What Is a Wife For? Companionship Sex Domestic help Income Bearing children Hostess Church servant Home schooling
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49 Work Outside Job
50 Work Outside Job Available Companion
51 Great Hostess Work Outside Job Available Companion
52 Great Hostess Work Outside Job Available Companion Church Servant
53 Consider the Diagram The arrows are her many conflicting duties. Better is farther out any arrow. More is farther out any arrow. How many arrows, how far out, can she cover? You must manage and direct scarce resources.
54 A Three-Talent Wife 3
55 A Four-Talent Wife 4
56 A Five-Talent Wife 5
57 Watch a Wife s Distortion Imagine a man that wants a full quiver, now! He thinks 7 children are good 12 are better! He also wants a Shulamite lover daily (S.S.)! He thinks a good wife will initiate sex daily! See how his foolish priorities distort a wife.
58 A Distorted Wife 4
59 A Distorted Wife His two chief priorities contradict each other. A wife has limited resources energy, time, etc. To do both well other things will surely slide. There are many uncovered arrows in her life. His dream guarantees marital loss for both.
60 Distortion in Many Shapes 4
61 Distortion in Many Shapes 4
62 Distortion in Many Shapes Department Manager 4
63 Great Hostess Work Outside Job Available Companion Church Servant
64 Great Hostess Work Outside Job Available Companion Church Servant
65 Great Hostess Work Outside Job Available Companion Church Servant
66 Great Hostess Work Outside Job Available Companion Church Servant
67 Great Hostess Work Outside Job Available Companion Church Servant
68 Great Hostess Work Outside Job Available Companion Church Servant
69 Great Hostess Work Outside Job Available Companion Church Servant
70 A Three-Talent Wife 3
71 A Four-Talent Wife 4
72 A Five-Talent Wife 5
73 Consider the Diagram The arrows are her many conflicting duties. Better is farther out any arrow. More is farther out any arrow. How many arrows, how far out, can she cover? You must manage and direct scarce resources.
74 Are You Over Managing? Is your wife hopelessly defeated by your goals? If so she is operating at only 50-75% or so. If so, you lose half of God s great gift for you! If so, your children may resent you for hardness. If so, God will likely judge you both now and later.
75 Are You Under Managing? Does your wife produce little in comparison? The virtuous woman produced! Wow! Read it! If so, you lose God s great helper for you! If so, your children will be lazy like mommy. If so, life with her will get worse and worse.
76 Maximize Your Wife! She can likely please you more that she does. Are you breaking her eager, willing spirit? Are you letting her default to human folly? She only needs your direction a good wife. But is your direction considerate and wise?!
77 You Do Not Get it Yet? You have $1.00 to buy the perfect wife for you. You must allocate scarce pennies to priorities. You want more of some thing? more pennies! Over- or under-management will show up. The money illustration is to provoke thinking.
78 What Is a Wife For? Companionship Sex Domestic help Income Bearing children Hostess Church servant Home schooling
79 Don t Forget These: Appearance Taxi Service Bookkeeper Mary with Jesus Debt Stress Child Training
80 Allocate Your $1.00 Companion: 2 cents for each 30 min a day dedicated to you and what you do Sex: 5 cents for willing if you hint; 10 for ravishing initiator most days Domestic: 10 cents for clean, orderly; 20 for goddess in Southern Living home Income: 40 cents for clerk; 50 for an administrator; 60 for engineer/manager Homeschooling: 8 cents per child; private also costs
81 Allocate Your $1.00 How many children: 5 cents per child Church servant: 2 cents for often; 4 for always. Hostess: 4 cents for once a week; 8 for twice a week; 12 for thrice. Appearance: 5 cents for acceptable; 10 for knockout that fulfills your desires! Taxi Service: 3 cents per daily trip
82 Allocate Your $1.00 Bookkeeper: 4 cents for some; 8 for all Mary with Jesus: 2 cents for Martha; 4 for Mary. Debt Stress: 3 cents for any debt; 6 for big debt; 9 for debt when she does the bookkeeping Child Training: 2 cents for each child, when she must do most of it
83 Bully Bob Companionship.04 I gotta have my sweetheart near to me! Sex.10 I m her man! Come and get me, babe! Domestic.10 I can be merciful; I let this slide a little Income.00 I d never make my wife work like that Homeschooling.56 Weren t wives made for that after sex? Family size.35 A full quiver is God s will! 7 ain t nuthin! Church servant.02 She can t go all the time, cuz I need her Hostess.04 Fixin for my buds once a week is easy Appearance.10 Married to me; she better be hot! Taxi Service.06 Boys needs sports; I ll read the paper. Bookkeeper.08 She s better with # s; I played in school. Mary with Jesus.00 I can let her slide here; it ain t crucial. Debt Stress.09 Course we got debt; boys need toys. Child Training.14 I see em before bed; she s home all day Wife Is Defeated 1.68 She is overworked 68% every single day
84 Sorry Sam Companionship.04 I married her to be near me all the time. Sex.00 She lets me once a week or so. Its ok. Domestic.05 We share doin this, cuz she works hard. Income.00 Women are keepers at home. Period. Homeschooling.00 Our children are not in school yet. Bearing children.10 She works so hard with our two tots. Church servant.02 I want her to be godly and help a little. Hostess.04 Once a week we can handle it hon, ok? Appearance.05 She looks better than me without effort. Taxi Service.00 We just have two babies; no trips yet. Bookkeeper.00 The checkbook would be too much. No. Mary with Jesus.00 I ain t got this one figured out yet. Debt Stress.03 Yea, she spends as much as I do. Child Training.02 I split it with her; she s often tired. Man Defeated.35 She under works 65% every single day!
85 Consider Bob and Sam Bully Bob over works his wife. Poor woman! She ll quit, get bitter, run away, or die soon. Sorry Sam under manages his. Poor Sam! He gets little and bitter; she has bad habits. Both lose; wives hurt; God frowns. Get smart!
86 Cash Carl Companionship.04 I need her near me after her long day. Sex.05 She works hard; I can give a little here. Domestic.10 After all she does, I ll let things slide. Income.60 She is a branch manager; thank you! Homeschooling.00 My wife works hard to pay for school. Bearing children.15 School bills would go up with more kids Church servant.00 She is usually tired, so she stays home. Hostess.04 I have to protect my cash cow, right? Appearance.10 She looks good at work and with me. Taxi Service.00 I run the kids around when they need it Bookkeeper.08 She has an MBA; I leave it all to her. Mary with Jesus.02 This is important; I hope she has time. Debt Stress.00 Our combined income paid off our debts Child Training.04 I do most of it as I should; she s tired. Wife Is Defeated 1.22 She is overworked 22% every single day
87 Retired Roger Companionship.10 We do lots of stuff together being alone Sex.00 Sex ain t something we fuss about now Domestic.05 No kids; me home to help; she s cruisin. Income.00 With social security, we can sleep in. Homeschooling.00 No more kids! Schools out! Bearing children.00 We have two, but they are on their own. Church servant.04 She helps wherever she can anytime. Hostess.04 We have enough time for once a week. Appearance.00 That s what younger women worry over Taxi Service.00 Like I said, no more kids! Schools out! Bookkeeper.00 I have the time now; I do it all. Mary with Jesus.04 This is important; she combs the word! Debt Stress.00 We paid off everything years ago. Child Training.00 Like I said, no more kids! Schools out! Man is Defeated.27 She is under utilized 73% every day
88 Consider Carl and Roger Carl has great cash income from his wife. What are the family consequences? Roger and wife have let productivity go. What could they do better with their time? Their error may be less, but still mismanaged.
89 How To Spend Your $1.00 You have $1.00 to buy the perfect wife. God has set some priorities for her and you. You set the rest by your desires in a wife. Over $1.00, you over manage or overwork her. Under $1.00, you under manage and waste her.
90 Godly Management You are the loser if you do not direct her. Most of you would quit your wife s job in a day. Are you over-managing, overworking her? Are you under-managing, under working her? You lose; she loses; God judges husbands first.
91 Temptations to Overwhelm Her - 1 Too many children! As the husband, you pick #. Why must you replenish earth? Are you a fool? Children are work, especially if you home school. Fear of pregnancy can be debilitating to a wife. Taking pregnancy risks is cruel, foolish, hateful.
92 Temptations to Overwhelm Her - 2 Homeschooling is an enormous burden/project. Financial folly no savings no financial plan. Lose touch with how much things really cost. Do not communicate your priorities clearly!!!!! Be ignorant of how long functions actually take.
93 Temptations to Overwhelm Her - 3 Constant activity can be exhausting and distracting. Expect her to do something that you do not do. Spontaneity might be fun, but it gets her behind. Too much stuff. Help unclutter mind and tasks. No Consistency changing goals or directions.
94 Suggestions to Help Her - 1 Let her visit parents more often if you do not. Help her with goals, schedules, structure, etc. Help her get over extreme health fuss or worries. Help her get over kidnapping and foolish fears. Date night is good for both in many helpful ways.
95 Suggestions to Help Her - 2 Train and require children to assist around house Exchange time with the boys for time with her. Let her have alone time to recharge her spirit. Help her make it to every ladies meeting with joy What is your wife s love language? Do you give it?
96 Suggestions to Help Her - 3 Living with her does not motivate her. What will? Living with her does not convict her. What will? Review her plans, so she does not over commit. Approve her plans, so she has you as an excuse. Ask how she is handling life and let her tell you.
97 Suggestions to Help Her - 4 Stop texting her. It is distracting and exhausting! Do not let her over-complicate things. Hate M! A happy woman can get a lot done in all areas. Do you know how to truly motivate her? Learn! Can you be her prince and take away her fears?
98 Potential Time Wasters Unnecessarily leaving house Refinishing furniture for a buck Baking your own bread, etc. Over-complicating meals Chasing alternative cures Sleeping in or taking naps Social media e.g. Pinterest, FB Pacing yourself through day Social outings of birthdays, etc. Shopping, online or not Unnecessarily leaving house Online research Running to doctor for nothing Time-consuming exercise Crafts or hobbies Groceries more than weekly Playing with children too much Texting and reading texts Reading or surfing Television, even the news High-maintenance children Unnecessarily leaving house
99 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:5
100 For Further Study Role of the Woman Find a Virtuous Woman Proverbs 31 Woman Proverbs Good Wife Importance of Marriage A Perfect Marriage God s Marriage Rules A Mighty Man s Life Seduce a Wife Love a Wife Why Is She Still With You?
Managing Your Wife. God made her for you (I Cor 11:9) You are to lead; she is to follow. Christian wives want to please
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