August 18, 2013 Forgiving Others Northside United Methodist Church Matthew 6:14-15, 18:21-25 Rev. Rebecca Mincieli,

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1 August 18, 2013 Forgiving Others Northside United Methodist Church Matthew 6:14-15, 18:21-25 Rev. Rebecca Mincieli, Whew! This forgiveness thing is serious business. At least Jesus Christ thinks so. But what do others say? Well, Mahatma Gandhi said, The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attitude of the strong. Nelson Mandela said, (Not forgiving) is like drinking a glass of poison, and waiting.for your enemy to die. And theologian, C.S. Lewis once wrote, Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive. And we certainly have seen requests for forgiveness bandied about in the past month. Anthony Weiner wants forgiveness for yet another round of sexting, so he can become mayor of New York City. Alex Rodriguez wants forgiveness for taking performance enhancing drugs so he can continue making millions of dollars playing baseball. Celebrity chef Paula Deen wants forgiveness for using derogatory racial slurs so she can save her reputation. Eliot Spitzer wants forgiveness for his involvement in a prostitution scandal so he can become New York City comptroller. And that s just a partial list. Obviously, these people want forgiveness so they can not only be absolved, but able to resume their normal lives and popularity. They are hoping that the public does indeed look at forgiveness as a lovely idea. But we all know that truly forgiving someone is not always quite so easy. When someone has wronged us, slighted us, cheated us, betrayed us, we typically feel hurt, shock, anger, and disappointment, and our first instinct is usually to do one of two things. One, we put up a protective barrier that keeps the person at bay. We don t communicate giving them the silent treatment, we remain emotionally and physically distant, and we ignore their attempts at reconciliation. Or, two, we have a desire to lash out and seek revenge. We want them to feel the pain we re feeling, we want to show them what it s like, we want to even up the score. These reactions just seem to be part of our human nature. Deep down we often don t really want to forgive, and yet, we know we re supposed to, and so we wonder, how much do I have to take? How often do I have to keep forgiving someone else? Well the apostle Peter had that very same question for Jesus. So, Jesus, give me a rule of thumb. How often do I really have to forgive? And then Peter quickly offers his own suggestion seven times? Sounds more than fair to me. But Jesus quickly dispels that idea. No, not seven times, but seventy times seven. Which, really means that Jesus has thrown away his calculator, and wants us to forgive in unlimited measure.

2 He goes on, expanding on this by telling a parable about a King who decided it was time to do a reckoning and collect his debts. So he calls in one man who owed him an astronomical amount of money several year s wages. Obviously the King had been extremely generous to this person. Giving and giving to him, not asking anything in return. Until this time of reckoning. But the man, unable to pay his debt, fell to his knees, begging the King for patience and mercy, promising to repay what he owed. And the king, knowing he could never repay what he owed, was filled with pity and he not only released him, but he forgave the entire debt. The servant was able to walk out of there with a clean slate! And, hopefully also with a lesson learned about compassion, mercy and generosity. And you see, that is exactly what God does for you and me. When we come in repentance, confessing our sin and debts, God showers us with compassion, mercy, forgiveness, generosity, and we are given a clean slate. We saw this last week, when Jesus forgave the adulteress. I do not condemn you, and we heard the words of the psalmist, As far as the east is from the west, so far will he remove our sins from us. The apostle John says, If we confess our sin, He is faithful to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. At the Last Supper, knowing he would die on the cross the next day, Jesus said, This is my blood poured out for you, for forgiveness of your sins. But, isn t it true that sometimes we just can t believe God can really forgive us. When we think of our bad decisions, of the pain and sorrow we ve caused others, of that dark secret we try to keep hidden, we can t even forgive ourselves. How could God ever forgive us? But just look at who God has forgiven. Moses, the greatest leader of the Old Testament intentionally killed a man. King David, one whom God said, is a man after my own heart, committed both adultery and murder. The Apostle Paul, the most prolific writer of the New Testament, persecuted, jailed and stoned early Christians. These men committed heinous sins. And yet God loved and forgave them. Gave them another chance and actually used them for his purposes. And what about the people who killed God himself, in Jesus Christ. Remember Jesus words from the cross as he looked down at his accusers, betrayers, killers. Father, forgive them, they know not what they do. Trust me, there is no sin in your life that God will not forgive if you come to Him in repentance. The prophet Micah said, God will trample our sins under his feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean. So take a moment and think about what sin in your life needs to be forgiven. Now think of God throwing that sin into the depths of that ocean. Now leave it there. You have a clean slate.

3 But now there s a second part of the parable. The man who has been forgiven and cleared of his debt leaves and meets up with a fellow servant who owes him money. But instead of offering the same compassion, mercy and generosity the King showed him, he seized the servant by the throat and demands payment. When this servant asks for forgiveness of his debt, the man refuses, and has him thrown in jail. Well, the King gets wind of what happened, and immediately condemns the man and throws him in jail. And Jesus says this is what will happen to us if we don t forgive others from our heart. Now, we may ask, why does this parable end in such a strong manner? Well, I believe it s because God wants us to have a forgiving heart, a forgiving character. Because look what happens when we don t forgive. We carry around grudges and harbor resentment that adversely affects our moods, our outlook on life, our emotional and physical well-being. We speak and act in ways that are unbecoming, and often create more problems. In reality, we are exacting revenge on ourselves. Rev. Fredrick Buechner said, To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll your tongue over the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. He goes on to say, however, The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton that remains at the feast is you. Yes, Jesus knows the pain that an unforgiving character can cause. That s why he makes this promise, If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your heavenly Father will not forgive your sins. You see, forgiveness is a two-way street. Jesus is telling us that extending forgiveness is essential to our ultimately receiving forgiveness. Now, I think it s important for us to realize that forgiveness does not condone the offense. It does not justify or excuse inappropriate behavior. It does not make a wrong suddenly become right. And it does not necessarily mean forgetting. Because we can learn from our experiences both good and bad. But the act of forgiveness is an expression of God s very character. And as his followers, his disciples, shouldn t we want to be a conduit of his compassion, mercy and forgiveness to others. Let me share with you two stories about what I mean. The first, I m sure you ll remember. Seven years ago this October, a gunman walked into an Amish school room and killed five young girls and seriously wounded five others. It was an act that many people all over the country called unforgivable. But the Amish saw it differently. The killer had lived in their community, he delivered their milk. And they knew that his wife and three kids were suffering terrible anguish because of his crime. So immediately after the murders, some of the Amish went to visit the killer s widow, while other Amish

4 went to visit the killer s parents, and assured them of their forgiveness. At the cemetery that week when the gunman was buried, of the seventy-five mourners there, over half were Amish. And they responded with money as well. Dozens of Amish contributed to a local fund set up to help support the killer s family. Your see, Amish people truly believe that their own forgiveness is bound up in their willingness to forgive others. For them, forgiveness is at the very core of the Christian faith. 1 The second story is told by Rev. Shane Stanford, in his book, Making Life Matter. It s about a young man named Jacob, and a Catholic priest, Father Frank. Jacob never really had a chance in life. His mother was an addict, and as a young boy, he remembered the parties and the different men and their violence, and the night he was beaten almost to death by one of them. He went to live with his grandmother, but when she died, he was forced to live in the streets. One night Jacob and the gang he hung with, robbed and beat a homeless man, who later died of his wounds. Jacob was convicted and spent time in a juvenile correctional center, where he experienced some very adult treatment. After a couple more incarcerations, Jacob was once again on the streets, where ironically, street kids robbed and beat him. While at a health clinic recovering from his wounds, he met a priest, Father Frank, who ran the program for homeless men at a local shelter. Frank took Jacob under his wing, providing him a place to live, taught him to read, and gave him responsibility at the shelter. He also egan teaching Jacob about the ways of God, and Jacob slowly began to feel a change in his heart and he turned his life around. He got a GED and went to community college to learn a trade. Now Father Frank s story paralleled Jacob s. Father Frank s earthly father suffered with mental illness, and unable to live a productive life, became a homeless man living on the streets. When Frank was ten, he learned that his father had been severely beaten by a local gang, and had died. Through this, Frank found the church, and found the love of a heavenly Father who would guide his life and thinking from then on. A few years after Jacob and Frank met, Jacob, not knowing about Frank s father, confessed to having played a part in the death of a homeless man, and he confessed as to how much he regretted what he had done. Frank, realizing it was Jacob who killed his father, looked at Jacob, and saw not a murderer, but a broken person, a child of God who had lost his way. And Father Frank decided not to say anything. One day, however, while cleaning Father Frank s office, Jacob ran across a news clipping about his father s death. Frank walked in, and Jacob stood there, in shock and speechless. I had hoped you would not find out, Frank said. Jacob questioned, You knew? And you helped me anyway? You 1 Amish Grace

5 made me part of your family! Of course, Jacob, replied Frank. But why? Jacob asked, tears now streaming down his cheeks. Father Frank pointed to a picture of Christ on the wall. Because I helped kill him, and his Father has loved me unconditionally. I figured that to be like him, meant loving you like that. You see, that s what forgiveness is all about. It means first and foremost, that we have to admit out own failures and sins. Because we can t receive forgiveness without acknowledging our need for it. And we cannot extend forgiveness without admitting that because of our own imperfect condition, we have no right to withhold forgiveness from anyone else. It s like Rev. Barbara Brown Taylor writes, It is a matter of understanding that you have already been forgiven, that some One to whom you owe everything your very life and breath that some One who has given and given and given to you and who has gotten precious little in return, has examined your enormous debt, and knows the chances of repayment are nil. (So he absolves you of all you owe, simply because he loves you. And) when someone like that has stopped keeping score on you, you feel sort of foolish keeping score on the people in your life. You feel sort of petty, wanting to write them off after seven times, or even after seventy times seven, when you consider how many times you have been forgiven yourself, through no merit of your own, but simply because God loves you very, very much, and wants to love you some more. Once you have let that sink into your heart, how can you, how can any of us, pass up a single chance to do the same? 2 Amen 2 Barbara Brown Taylor, The Seeds of Heaven. Pg. 98