Forgiveness September 14, 2014

Transcription

1 Forgiveness September 14, 2014 Sarah Raymond Matthew 18:21-35 Then Peter came and said to (Jesus), Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times? Jesus said to him, Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times." "For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything. And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, Pay what you owe. Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, Have patience with me, and I will pay you. But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you? And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Forgiveness is a tricky concept. It's one of those things that seems all well and good on paper -- forgive and forget, right? -- but when the situation gets flesh on it, that's when things get complicated. So this text starts out with Peter. Peter comes to Jesus looking for some clarity about how often he should forgive. Remember this is right after the explanation of how to handle conflict in the church. So it is logical that the topic of forgiveness would follow. But here, it's as if Peter has a log book and he will keep track to the letter of those incidents of forgiveness. "Well, Matthew ate the last bread when I called dibs on it, so Matthew's name goes in the book because I forgave him for that. Only six more times left, Matthew!" 1

2 But Jesus answers Peter and says... wait a minute Peter! Not only is there no limit to the amount of times you forgive, but there is also no log book! I don't think Jesus meant that we are limited to forgiving 77 times. I think Jesus meant that there is grace abundant beyond a limited amount---always a cool thing about God -- that grace abundant beyond any limit. But then Jesus goes on to share a parable with Peter and with us. This parable -- when we flesh it out is a difficult one. It is about a man who was working for minimum wage because there was no other option for him. Life was tough for him. He had children to feed and rent to pay and bills piling up. So he borrowed money from his boss telling his boss that he would pay him back someday soon. And the next month came, and the man borrowed more money because his minimum wage just wasn't enough for them. This went on until the man owed the boss a lot of money. And every payday the man lived in fear that his boss would want to collect on the debt. Then one day it happened. The boss decided that the debt needed to be paid. The boss decided that the man would need to sell all he had and give up his paychecks to pay it back. Things were already precarious for the man and his family. No paycheck and no car would mean that his family would go hungry, and their home would be gone. So the man cried out in desperation. He cried out in fear and in panic. He cried out for mercy. And out of pity, the boss gave him his paycheck and forgave the debt. The man was so grateful. He walked out of the office with a lilt in his step and his paycheck in hand. But he came across his co-worker in the parking lot -- the co-worker who borrowed money from him. The co-worker who needed that hundred bucks to get that part for his car. The co-worker who borrowed that hundred bucks 6 months ago and now it was time that he 2

3 paid it back! The co-worker pleaded for mercy, but the man had no pity, no mercy, no forgiveness. In fact, the man was so angry that he couldn't get that hundred bucks that he called the police and had the man arrested for theft. When word of this got back to the boss, let's just say that the stuff hit the fan. The boss was livid. He was livid that the man would beg him for mercy and have it granted, and then he turned around and refused mercy for his co-worker. And the boss ordered the man to repay the debt. And after the debt was repaid, he fired the man. Okay -- you got that that was my modern paraphrase of the parable, but do you see how complicated this begins to get? Complicated and personal. So let's talk about forgiveness. First, God's forgiveness. God's forgiveness is no small thing. In the books of Mark and Luke, there is the story of the paralytic who was lowered down through the roof of the house into the midst of the crowd where Jesus was teaching. Before Jesus even thought about healing him to make him walk, he forgave his sins. And then he caught heck because of it! Jesus was accused of blasphemy because he offered forgiveness of sins -- something the scribes said could only be done by God -- which Jesus knew he had just done -- given forgiveness from God. But isn't it interesting that Jesus offered forgiveness of sins before he offered physical healing. Maybe God's forgiveness is more important to us than our own physical well-being? God knew that about us and that's why God sent Jesus. Nadia Bolz-Weber says, "It's God saying, "I love the world too much to let your sin define you and be the final word. I am a God who 3

4 makes all things new." Now there is this little complication that Matthew throws in with this story that seems to say that God will not forgive if we do not forgive those around us. And in fact, the only other time that Matthew mentions forgiveness is in the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus says, "And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors... " Matthew is pretty clear about this. And since this falls in the midst of the Sermon on the Mount, here's how I look at this. If we refuse to forgive someone, then our own heart begins to hold on to that sin in a way that takes the life out of us. Matthew also writes that no one can serve two masters; for a slave will be devoted to the one and despise the other. I think that's the case here. If your heart is holding on to the sin of another, then how can you fully receive the new life of forgiveness given in God. If you hold on to the sin of another, then you are letting that sin define you and be the final word. I m not so sure this is a one-to-one if-then type of statement. I like to think that God is bigger than our pettiness and grudge-holding. I also know the promise that we have been given in the death of Jesus and his resurrection three days later the promise that our sins were forgiven on that cross. And as Nadia says, God makes all things new and does not let us be defined by our sin. But I do think of this as a commandment to us. We have it in the Lord s Prayer.forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. It tells us to live by God s well of forgiveness a well that is deeper than 7 times or even deeper than 77 times. It is a well of forgiveness and mercy which does not have a bottom. So what about our forgiveness of each other there is a saying To forgive is to set a prisoner 4

5 free and discover that the prisoner was you. (Lewis B. Smedes) Forgiveness can bring us a freedom. Matthew West is a Christian singer who has a song called Forgiveness. He says he wrote the song after hearing the story of Renee. On May 11, 2002, a 24-year-old drunk driver named Eric killed one Renee s twin daughters Meagan and Meagan s friend Lisa. Both girls were 20 years old. This was devastating for all three families involved, and countless friends mourned the loss of these precious girls. But Renee s story is also a story of forgiveness and healing. Her family and Lisa s family chose to forgive Eric. They even appealed to have his 22 year prison sentence reduced to 11 years. The fact that Renee s family has forgiven Eric seems like a completely unnatural act. And in fact, forgiveness makes little sense, as long as we are the ones being asked to forgive. It goes against everything we feel inside when we are the wronged party. I heard a story about a woman who when asked for forgiveness said, I know forgiveness would make me feel better, but then so would you and I m not ready for that yet! It s a painful place for us to be wronged. However, when we are the ones in need of forgiveness, well, isn t that quite a different story? CS Lewis wrote To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. Let us always be mindful of our own deep and endless need for forgiveness, and grateful for the limitless forgiveness that is extended to us through Christ s sacrifice on the cross. For God demonstrates great love for us in this; while we were still sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:8) 5

6 One final thought, I think we would all be angry and incensed at Eric for his role in the death of Renee s daughter and her friend. But it was an accident. Like the girl who was checking Facebook on the interstate and rear-ended another vehicle making a quick turn, causing the death of a grandmother. And the death of the tri-athlete riding bike near Finley who was hit by a pickup. These things are accidents they make us angry and indignant and heartbroken, but we can also see how quickly a bad decision can bring about life-changing loss. But what about when the wrong is not an accident? What about when the wrong is perpetual or premeditated or downright evil? Where does forgiveness come in that? Forgive and forget seems like a trite way of addressing this kind of wrong. And in fact, forgive and forget is not even a way to relate to Renee s situation. There is no way to forget the loss of a daughter. And in the case of those things which most of us consider unforgivable I m thinking of situations of abuse and violence. Lewis Smedes says Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory, instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. Forgiveness of any kind -- is not something we can accomplish on our own. In fact, sometimes forgiveness is something we cannot accomplish at all. But God can the first and sometimes the only thing we can do when working to forgive someone else is to commend that person to God. If you are visual, imagine laying them in the arms of Jesus and then walking away. 6

7 I just spent the past two days at our annual professional leadership conference for pastors and church leaders in Eastern North Dakota. Our speaker talked a lot about how as Christians, we live with one foot in Good Friday and one foot in Easter. Good Friday is the world of pain and suffering and loss and death. It s the place where forgiveness is not even an option. But even when we are there in Good Friday in the midst of pain and suffering we can look ahead knowing that Easter is coming. There is hope ahead. There is hope in a God who sent his son Jesus to bring forgiveness to our Good Friday world forgiving us, not 7 times, but forgiving us completely. Amen. 7