Session 5: Overcoming Unforgiveness

Transcription

1 Session 5: Overcoming Unforgiveness

2 Mighty Men on a Journey Truth about our King We can trust God who is Good, Loving & Just The Lord is one worthy of our allegiance & service Truth about Us We can overcome sin by meditating on God s Word and confessing to each other We are transformed: made new, past is clear, and Christ s holiness is ours

3 An Un/Forgiveness Journey Seeing how dark my heart can be Forgiving a family member for the side- effects of their choices Forgiving a role model for weaknesses Seeing where my thoughts might lead Seeing that my way is not always better Forgiving a leader for apathy toward me Forgiving a leader for abusing influence

4 What is Unforgiveness Life brings us injuries, small and large Unforgiveness means following an injury with: condemnation I convict you of wrongdoing resentment I reserve the right to replay it bitterness I will never forget what you did revenge I hope you will be repaid evil for evil gossip I may retell to others what you did apathy I do not care what happens to you

5 Forgiveness the Answer Injuring each other comes easily The world is therefore full of pain Repayment for every injury is impossible The only answer is forgiveness

6 Forgiveness in Marriage A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers The Secret of Happy Marriage: Choose your spouse s 12 worst traits and choose to always forgive each of them.

7 Commanded to Forgive Matt 6 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

8 The Reality of Unforgiveness Unforgiveness is like an acid that destroys the container in which it is held Bitterness is like drinking a poison and waiting for the other person to die Forgiveness is an act of the WILL, not merely the result of a good feeling Sometimes we welcome lies into our lives that have the power to destroy us believing we cannot forgive is one such lie

9 Obstacles to Forgiveness Viewing others as the one who hurt me Forgiving and then replaying hurts Defining forgiveness as tolerating everything Believing the unforgiveness lies Three I can t lies Three I won t lies The Not right now lie

10 Lie: I can t forgive God has put the Spirit of his Son within us He empowers us to obey anything he commands 3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 2 Peter 1:3-4

11 Lie: I can t the hurt is too big I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13 God is concerned about what happens to us, but is more concerned about how we respond to what happens to us. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Col 3:13

12 Lie: I can t - it is too hard 2 This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. 3 In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, 4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 1 John 5:2-4

13 Lie: I won t not my nature Human identities that resist forgiving Personality Heritage Ethnicity Economic/Business Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! II Cor 5:17

14 Lie: I won t let myself be hurt The enemy is NOT on your side! The hard heart he recommends will NOT bring you peace! 46 Why do you call me, Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say? But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete. Luke 6:46,49 When commanded to forgive, can you say, No, Lord and mean both words?

15 Lie: I won t so I can teach em Teaching them a lesson = vengeance silent treatment avoiding eye contact passive instead of actively seeking their good Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord. Rom 12:19 Will you let God be God, or will you step in?

16 Lie: I will forgive, but not now Jamie Lash: I said, If I forgive you, you might do it again. My wife replied, Are you afraid to obey God and forgive me because you can t control the outcome if you do? Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times? Seventy times seven! Matt 18:21 We are not in charge of the outcome of obeying

17 Wronged by Brother: Matt 18 If you can simply forgive their sin and return to a full, restored relationship, do so! If ignoring the wrong would leave your relationship broken or that brother/sister blind to their need for repentance: show them the wrong compassionately/personally ask a wise person to help only if they can t see it ask for elder intervention only after that

18 Questions for Small Groups Looking back, share a story from your journey of un/forgiveness of a hurt healed through forgiveness. Can you identify a current relationship of yours held back because you haven t forgiven? because you haven t taken responsibility? Is there an I can t or I won t or Not yet lie that you need to let go of today?