A Study Of The Book of Matthew Sermon # 67. The Importance Of Forgiveness. Matthew 18:21-35

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1 A Study Of The Book of Matthew Sermon # Bt Sm The Importance Of Forgiveness. Matthew 18:21-35 One of my favorite stories concerns a man who was bitten by a dog, which was later discovered to be rabid. The man was rushed to the hospital where tests revealed that he had, in fact, contracted rabies. At the time, medical science had no solution for this problem, and his doctor faced the difficult task of informing him that his condition was incurable and terminal. Sir, we will do all we can to make you comfortable. But I cannot give you false hope. There is nothing we can really do. My best advice is that you put your affairs in order as soon as possible. The dying man sank back on his bed in shock, but finally rallied enough strength to ask for a pen and some paper. He then set to work with great energy. An hour later, when the doctor returned, the man was stilling writing vigorously. I m glad to see that you re working on your will. This ain t no will, Doc. This is a list of the people I m going to bite before I die. Many of us live and die with that kind of list, written in our minds, if not on paper. [Gary Inrig. The Parables: Understanding What Jesus Meant. (Grand Rapids: Discovery House, 1991) p. 63] It is easy to proclaim the virtue of forgiveness. But the reality is another matter. C.S. Lewis put it so well, Forgiveness is a beautiful word until, you have something to forgive. Why is forgiveness so hard? Forgiveness is simple but that does not mean it is easy. First, forgive-ness is difficult because it is not natural. The natural human impulse is to get even, to exact revenge. Forgive-ness goes against the grain of human existence. Secondly, forgiveness is hard because it is not fair. To forgive without just repayment offends our sense of justice. We want to be vindicated. To forgive is to surrender our right to get even. This little story reveals how we feel. The mother ran into the bedroom when she heard her seven year old son scream. She found his two year old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl s grip and said comfortingly to the little boy, There, There. She didn t mean it. She doesn t know that hurts. He nodded his head acknow-ledgement and the mother left the room. And she started down the hall the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked, What happened. The little boy replied, She knows now! Today in our study through the Book of Matthew we see that the Apostle Peter also struggled with the issue of forgiveness. In Matthew chapter eighteen Jesus has been dealing 1

2 with the subject of dealing with a brother who has sinned. As Peter listens to the Lord teach he fastens on one aspect, What does this mean about how much I must forgive someone who has wronged me? Peter directs his question to the Lord asking in verse twenty-one, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Peter makes two mistakes that are apparent to us. First, he assumes that his brother will sin against him and not he against his brother. And secondly, Peter wanted to set some kind of limit on forgiveness. In all fairness to Peter he was generous in his limit. He asked if forgiving seven times would be sufficient. The Rabbi s of the time taught that one must forgive three times, this is drawn from a misunderstanding of the book of Amos, which says that God would revoke punishment against them for three transgressions but not for four. (Amos 1:3,6,9,11,13; 2:1,4,6)Thus they taught that God himself never forgave more than three times. To Peter s credit he is more than doubling what the Rabbi s taught. I believe that Jesus dumbfounds Peter with His reply in verse twenty-two. "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. The term seventy times seven is literally seventy seven and is a little ambiguous it can mean either seventy plus seven (thus is it is translated seventy seven in the NIV) or seventy times seven but the meaning is the same -it is a call for unlimited forgiveness. He is not saying th one should keep a strict count of how many time you for forgiven someone, Well you better watch out one more time and your out. The point is that by the time you have forgiven someone that many times, you are in the habit of forgiving and will not need to set limits. In answering Peter s question Jesus told a story that has come to be known as the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant. In this story Jesus deals with man s two greatest needs with regard to forgiveness; in the first part (vv ) He deals with those who need forgiveness and in the second half (vv ) he targets those of us who need to forgive others. But before we examine the Parable we need to remember three things. Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. We may forget, but your forgiving can be sincere even if you remember. When God forgets our sins, they do not slip out of his memory. He simply does not remember them against us. Forgiveness is not justifying, excusing or understanding why the person acted toward you the way he or she did. Forgiving does not make what they did okay, it makes you okay. Forgiveness is our emotional response to the offender. Pardon deals with the consequences of the offense. Unless we have the authority we may not be able to pardon the offense, but we can always forgive. 2

3 Man s First Great Need Is Receiving Forgiveness (18: 23-27) Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. (24) And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. (25) But as he was not able to pay, his master comm.-anded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. An Enormous Debt (vv ) Here is a man that owes an enormous debt. The word translated ten thousand (murion) was the largest number used in calculations and a talent was the largest unit of currency then available. A talent was a weight of money equal to six thousand denarii. One denarii equaled a laborer s wage for a day s work and One talent was the equivalent of twenty years wages, figured at a wage of $ per year that would be more than two billion dollars. The annual taxes for Judea, Idumea, Samaria, Galilee and Perea combined only total $800, at the time. The point was that his debt was inconceivable. There is no possible way that he could ever repay it. An Undeserved Grace (vv ) Verse twenty-six says, The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, "Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' Confronted by the consequences of his actions he pleads for more time. A careful reading of verse twenty-six reveals that this man still did not get it. What he asked for was patience and an extension of time. Verse twenty-seven reveals that it is the char-acter of the master not the character of the servant that produces the release from debt. The master made a decision based on compassion. Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. The master forgave his servant out of compassion for him and his family. We must see ourselves in this if we are going to be helped by this parable of Jesus. We must see that the sum of our offenses against God through the years constitutes this kind of a debt, an absolutely impossible amount. Our rebellions, our selfish acts and thoughts, our willful choices, and the hurt we have caused others, our pride, our anger, our lusts, our bitterness, our hates, and our lies; all these add up through the years to a staggering debt we owe God and which we cannot pay. But then there comes the good news, the wonderful good news of the gospel; that we can be "Forgiven, in Christ's name." I suspect that some of you here this morning have done something to someone and you have never asked for forgiveness According to Matt. 5:24, If your brother has something 3

4 against you go and be reconciled to your brother. Is there anyone that you need to go to this week? Man s First Great Need Is Receiving Forgiveness and Man s Second Great Need With Regard To Forgive-Ness Is To Extend Forgiveness (18: 28-35) A Failure to Forgive (vv ) "But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, "Pay me what you owe!' (29) So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, "Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' (30) And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. When we need forgiveness ourselves we want mercy, but when it comes to others we want justice. You would have expected the man who was forgiven so much to go out and joyfully share his experience with others, but he did not! Instead, he arrested a man who owed him a much smaller amount (it is still a signi-ficant amount about four month s wages but it pales in comparison what which he has been forgiven of) and threw him into prison. There was obviously something wrong with this man s heart and that is the major emphasis of this story. Although he has the legal right to demand payment, he certainly has no moral right. It is impossible to receive forgiveness gratefully from one end and to refuse it vengefully to another. An Imprisonment Of Our Own Making (vv ) So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. (32) Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, "You wicked servant! I for-gave you all that debt because you begged me. (33) Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' (34) And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. The consequence of failure to forgive is that the servant was thrown back into prison, along with his family and all of them would suffer. Is the Lord suggest-ing that God the Father will employer torturers to teach us a lesson on forgiveness? That those who fail to forgive will be eternally punished? No. The point being made here deals with the present not the future consequences of unforgiveness. 4

5 To use the Lord s words to accept God s forgive-ness and then to refuse to forgive another is not just unfortunate, it is wicked (v. 32). We will forgive to the extent that we appreciate how much we have been forgiven. Let me say this as strongly as I know how. What happened to this man will happen to each of us unless we learn to forgive. The torturers will come and take us away if we do not extend forgiveness to those who have wronged us. The world s worst prison is not Alcatraz or Devil s Island, because those places can only confine our bodies. The prison that Jesus is describing shackles our souls, and the saddest part is that we put ourselves in this prison. What is this most horrible of prisons? It is the prison of an unforgiving spirit. The alternative to forgiveness is in the end, a ceaseless process of hurt, bitterness, anger, resentment and self-destruction. Ray Stedman tells a powerful illustration of the effect of prison of bitterness. He says, I had a striking illustration of that occur a number of years ago. A woman in her eighties told me that, fifty years before, her aunt had said something insulting to her, and this woman had never forgiven her. Fifty years later she could recount the event to the precise detail, and she felt all the same bitterness, anger, and resentment welling up within her as when it originally occurred. It was no wonder to me that, by this time, she had become a bitter, crotchety, quarrelsome, unhappy woman who could find no happiness in life whatsoever. She was still in the hands of the torturers fifty years later. [Ray Stedman. Breaking the Resentment Barrier. Matt 18: www. pbc.org/dp/stedman/ Parables/0381.htm] A Disturbing Teaching(v. 35) "So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses." We are troubled by this statement because it seems to imply a works based salvation, which is, if you forgive others (which is a work) then you will in turn be forgiven. This is the thought that we may be saved by grace but if we fail to live up to the ideal for forgiveness set here, God might cancel His forgiveness and have us thrown into Hell. We can maintain that this is what Jesus said, but He really did not mean it, He was using an exaggeration to make a point. Since that is not what the rest of the New Testament teaches about salvation then we must understand that the point Jesus is making is a unforgiving spirit is demon-stration that one has not really been born again. Forgiveness in essence is a decision made on the inside to refuse to live in the past. One husband told a friend, When my wife and I argue, she gets hist-orical. His friend said, Don t you mean hysterical? The husband said, No, she gets historical she brings up all the mistakes I ve ever made. It does not change the past nor deny the pain, but it does break the cycle of bitterness that binds us to the wounds of yesterday. Forgiveness allows you to let go and move on. 5

6 Corrie ten Boom likened forgiveness to letting go of a bell rope. If you have ever seen a country church with a bell in the steeple, you will remember that to get the bell ringing you have to tug awhile. Once it has begun to ring, you merely maintain the momentum. As long as you keep pulling the bell keeps ringing. Miss ten Boom said forgiveness is letting go of the rope. It is just that simple. But when you do so, the bell keeps ringing. Momentum is at work. However, if you keep your hands off the rope, the bell will begin to slow and eventually stop. It is like that with forgiveness. When you decide to forgive, the old feelings of unforgiveness may contin-ue to assert themselves. After all, they have lots of momentum. But if you affirm your decision to forgive, that unforgiving spirit will begin to slow and will eventually be still. Forgiveness is not something you feel, it is something you do. If is letting go of the rope of retribution. [Ted Kyle and John Todd. A Treasury of Bible Illustrations. Chattanooga, Tenn: AMG Publishers, 1995) # 423] Conclusion Almost always when we think about forgiveness the Holy Spirit flashes names and faces across our minds; people who either need to ask for forgiveness from or extend forgiveness to. We are going to do the invitation a little different today. I want everyone to bow there head and close their eyes. I want to ask you a few questions and if you would like for me to pray with you about these matters I am going to ask you to raise your hand. Do you need to ask for forgiveness from someone? Can you think of a person right now that you have wronged and you have not yet owned up to it? Are you ready to make that decision today? Then raise your hand. Do you need to extend forgiveness to someone who has wronged you? Is there someone who wronged you, and you have never been able to let go of it? Are you ready to forgive the debt? Then raise your hand. Do you need to admit you re a sinner and ask for the forgiveness of God the Father? If you have never done so, now is the right time. He stands ready to forgive if you will but ask Him? If you need the forgive of God will you raise your hand. 6

7 The Importance Of Forgiveness Matthew 18:21-35 Why Is Forgiveness So Hard? Forgiveness is difficult because it is not. Forgiveness is hard because it is not. What Forgiveness Is Not. Forgiveness is not the same as. Forgiveness is not justifying or. Forgiveness is our response. Man s First Great Need Is Forgiveness (18: 23-27) An Enormous (vv ) An Undeserved (vv ) Man s Second Great Need with Regard to Forgiveness is to Forgiveness (18:28-35) A Failure to Forgive (vv ) A Imprisonment Of Our Own Making (vv ) A Disturbing Teaching(v. 35) Conclusion Do you need to ask for forgiveness from someone? Do you need to extend forgiveness to someone who has wronged you? Do you need to admit you re a sinner and ask for the forgiveness of God the Father? 7