Why Is This Sordid Story in the Bible?: Four Reasons to Read about the Rape of Tamar

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Bertha Shields
6 years ago
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1 62 JBC 29:1 (2015): Sermon Why Is This Sordid Story in the Bible?: Four Reasons to Read about the Rape of Tamar by MATTHEW C. MITCHELL Stories We Would Rather Avoid The rape of Tamar in 2 Samuel 13 is a passage of Scripture that I d rather not read and that I d rather not preach from. 1 It s a tragic story. It s a profoundly sad story about a repugnant, disgusting sin. Yet it exists. It is in the Bible. We can t ignore it. But what are we supposed to do with it? When I m trying to understand the significance of difficult passages, I ask myself this question: Why is this story in my Bible? When you come to the answer, you know not only what it is about, but also how it applies to your life. But it s a question that you really wrestle with when the story is seamy and ugly like this one. The question becomes, Why is this sordid story in my Bible? And the rape of Tamar isn t the only story in the Bible that feels like that. We also experience revulsion when we read other passages that involve sexual assault, such as the rape of Dinah in Genesis 34 and the gang rape and resulting death of a man s concubine in Judges 19: Yet these disturbing passages are in God s Word. And all Scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness (2 Tim 3:16). So we are going to carefully read the text and not avert our gaze. We might want to squirm, but we re going to stare directly at the story and allow ourselves to feel the pain, shame, and sadness. Then I m going to suggest Matthew Mitchell (MDiv, DMin) is the pastor of Lanse Evangelical Free Church in Lanse, Pennsylvania and the author of Resisting Gossip: Winning the War of the Wagging Tongue. 1 This article is adapted from a sermon preached on May 25, 2014 at Lanse Evangelical Free Church. Content has been revised and augmented.

2 WHY IS THIS SORDID STORY IN THE BIBLE? MITCHELL 63 four reasons why this sordid story is in our Bibles and what difference it can make to our lives. First, here is the story, interweaved with some comments that provide context for what is happening in light of King David s past. David, Israel s most revered king, is Tamar s father so her story is inextricably linked to his. The Sword Is about to Strike Again In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David (2 Sam 13:1). You can see from the very first verse that there s going to be trouble. David has been unwise and married multiple wives and fathered multiple children with them. In one sense, that s a blessing because it s fruitfulness and growth. But wherever you have polygamy in the Bible, you also have trouble. And this isn t David s only trouble. After David s sin with Bathsheba, God told him, The sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own (2 Sam 12:10). That sword struck just as God said it would. The sword struck down David and Bathsheba s first son. And sadly, it is about to strike again, dividing David s family and bringing misery. All three of the people mentioned in the first verse of 2 Samuel 13 are children of David. Amnon is the firstborn and the current heir to the throne. Tamar and Absalom are half-siblings to Amnon through a different mother. The story starts by focusing on the crown prince, Amnon. Love within the Royal Family Amnon has a problem. He s in love (or so he thinks), but the object of his love is unattainable. It s his half-sister Tamar. Verse 2 says Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of her, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her. To her? This is another indicator that something is amiss in this story. Tamar is a virgin, protectively kept separate and out of Amnon s reach. And it s driving Amnon crazy crazy sick that he can t do anything to her. Sick is a good translation. Amnon is sick in the heart and can t let it go. So his friend Jonadab comes up with a scheme to get Amnon what he wants. By pretending to be ill, Amnon tricks his father David into granting his wish that his sister Tamar come to his house and prepare food for him. When Tamar brings him the food she has made, he refuses to eat it and sends away all the others from their presence. You and I can see where this is heading, but I don t think Tamar did. And I doubt that David could have foreseen this either. He simply thought that Amnon was sick and was duped by his lustful son.

3 64 WHY IS THIS SORDID STORY IN THE BIBLE? MITCHELL The Rape of Tamar Amnon has her in his home. He dismisses the servants. Then Amnon said to Tamar, Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand. And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, Come to bed with me, my sister. Don t, my brother! she said to him. Don t force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don t do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you. (2 Sam 13:10 13) Tamar puts up a good fight. No, please! This would be incest. The pagans may do it, but the Lord s people should not! It s wicked! It s wrong. And it would bring disgrace on me. And it would make you disgraceful, Amnon. You would be a godless wretch, a wicked fool in Israel. Talk to Dad. He ll let us get married if you want me so badly. 2 But her pleas are ignored. Nothing works. He refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her. Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, Get up and get out! No! she said to him. Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me. 3 But he refused to listen to her. He called his personal servant and said, Get this woman out of here and bolt the door after her. So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing a richly ornamented robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornamented robe she was wearing. She put her hand 2 Sexual relations (and marriage) between siblings are prohibited by Leviticus 18:9 and 20:17 so David would be breaking the law to approve such a marriage. It seems her proposal is meant to divert Amnon s intentions and prevent the assault. 3 Exodus 22:16 17 and Deuteronomy 22:28 29 allow for a man who lies with a virgin to pay her bride price and take her as a wife. Though other parts of the law would preclude this due to incest, Tamar again proposes marriage. This time it is to reduce her shame.

4 WHY IS THIS SORDID STORY IN THE BIBLE? MITCHELL 65 on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went. (2 Sam 13:14 19) I don t have to tell you that this is bad. It is very bad. Amnon has raped her and now has rejected her completely. Tamar s life has been wrecked by someone who should have been protective over her. Having been sent away by Amnon, she flees to her brother Absalom. And he says to her, Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet now, my sister; he is your brother. Don t take this thing to heart (2 Sam 13:20). This is an odd response. It s hard to know if he is trying to comfort her or minimize what has happened. But even if Absalom didn t respond well, surely the king came to her defense. He would be angry at Amnon s trickery. He would be grieved at this abuse of his innocent daughter. Right? Family Fallout When King David is told about this travesty, he is furious, but he does nothing. He takes no action. David might have felt unable to bring justice to his son because he was ashamed of his own sinful sexual past. Perhaps he thought, Who am I to judge? Of course, he should have acted as the judge. He is the king, the father of them both. He had a responsibility to act, but he didn t. Even though the Law expressly forbids incest and rape, Amnon is not brought to justice. And so Tamar lived in her brother Absalom s house, a desolate woman (2 Sam 13:20). It bears repeating she was a desolate woman. And in this passive parental environment, another sin was brewing Absalom s rage. Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar (2 Sam 13:22). Absalom stews about it for two years and never speaks to Amnon. But then he gets an idea. Absalom conspires to gather all of his brothers together at a social event to murder Amnon. The sword strikes again. He has Amnon killed and then flees and lives in exile for three years. 4 Once again, the king does nothing. His son Amnon is dead, but Absalom is not brought to justice. David takes no action. Instead, the spirit of the king longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon s death (2 Sam 13:39). Strangely, David is more distraught to have lost Absalom than he is to have lost Amnon. Perhaps he s relieved that his rapist son has met justice, but David s feelings for Absalom are hard to understand. Absalom has lied to him, manipulated him and murdered his firstborn son, and yet David misses 4 See 2 Samuel 13:23 38.

5 To continue reading, visit ccef.org/jbc to purchase this individual issue or subscribe to the Journal of Biblical Counseling. The Journal of Biblical Counseling (ISSN: ) is published by: Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation 1803 East Willow Grove Avenue Glenside, PA Copyright 2014 CCEF

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