Designing the Bar and Bat Mitzvah Education Program for Jewish Kids Groups

Transcription

1 Designing the Bar and Bat Mitzvah Education Program for Jewish Kids Groups Study conducted and submitted on January 11, 2016 Executive Director Ana Robbins Research Team Dr. Erin Chernow Michael Kleinman Focus Group Facilitators Emmy Cohn Dr. Marshall Duke Susan Levitas

2 Executive Summary Background In August 2015, Jewish Kids Groups (JKG) began to study the needs, expectations, goals, hopes and dreams of the parents of rising middle school students. While JKG was running a robust middle school program it became evident to the leadership that the program content and focus was not well aligned with audience of rising students. The research centered on four questions: 1. What are the factors that led to your family choosing JKG? 2. Which Jewish educational topics are most important to you? 3. What social activities do you and your children want to participate in outside of the JKG classroom? 4. What do you envision for your child s bar or bat mitzvah? Reasearch To answer these four questions, JKG parents in grades 2 through 5 were asked to participate in an online survey and invited to participate in one of four focus groups across JKG s three metro Atlanta locations. Additionally, the researchers conducted an environmental scan and review of existing literature. Several common themes emerged between the focus groups and online survey: Parents desire social opportunities for JKG students but parents lack time to make these events happen. Parents desire a blend of social opportunities centered around community service. The location of the program is critical to its success. Students should have input to personalize the experience and leave their own legacy. Parents perceptions of educational priorities shifted during the focus groups and also as their kids are getting closer to the bar or bat mitzvah age. Parents are open to considering less traditional options for a bar or bat mitzvah. Parents worry about the bar or bat mitzvah experience for their children but they are committed to having their child have a bar or bat mitzvah. Preliminary recommendations After analyzing the results and data, the research team is poised to make a recommendation for an updated middle school Jewish educational program that includes a bar and bat mitzvah component. Based on the research, the authors of this report recommend the following: 1

3 1. JKG offers a one day per week, Sunday morning program for students in grades 6 and Grades 6 and 7 are combined. 3. The curriculum stretches over two years and focuses on: Jewish friendships and connections, Jewish values and ethics, celebrating holidays and rituals, and includes some Hebrew preparation. Topics are taught in small groups using methods that are consistent with JKG s experiential approach to education in a fun environment. 4. Five Sundays each year will be held off site performing community service. 5. Five Sundays each year will be used to allow students to explore topics of focus according to their interest and their choice of b nai mitzvah project. 6. The program includes a collaborative group b nai mitzvah ceremony to occur in the late Spring of the 7th grade year. In addition to the program described above, it is vital to offer educational workshops to help parents understand the true requirements of becoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah and what the JKG model offers to families to eliminate confusion and anxiety about the bar or bat mitzvah. The research team determined from the focus group data that the potential of a successful bar and bat Mitzvah program could likely have a major impact on JKG s overall success in the elementary years. JKG has the potential to change the landscape of Jewish education and to greatly enhance the meaning of Jewish life by offering a program for families who are open to new models for a bar or bat mitzvah ritual. 2

4 Table of Contents Introduction and Research Purpose 4 Definitions of Terms 5 Scholarly Review 6 Methods 10 Data Analysis 12 Findings 14 Focus Groups 14 Afterschool 14 Brookhaven 17 In Town 25 Online Survey 33 Serendipitous Findings 37 Discussion, Implications, and Recommendations 45 Research Questions 45 Recommendations for redesigning the program 48 Appendix 1: Online Survey Appendix 2: Focus Group Script Appendix 3: Parent Responses about the Bar and Bat Mitzvah Vision 3

5 Introduction and Research Purpose Jewish Kids Groups (JKG), Atlanta s Independent Hebrew School, is re imagining and reinventing Hebrew school in a ridiculously cool way. A significant part of the experience of Hebrew school is celebrating a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. In recognition of the need for an independent, alternative approach to preparing for and celebrating this milestone, JKG introduced the Journey program in 2014 aimed at providing Jewish education for middle school aged kids. In 2015, JKG proudly stated its new approach to Jewish education: Employs a cutting edge curriculum bolstered by Jewish enrichment programming like arts and crafts, drama, cooking, and sports. Focuses on building meaningful Jewish friendships and community. Offers creative, convenient programming, including Sundays and an innovative, five day a week Afterschool Community. Meets in Intown Atlanta and serves all Jewish families. As JKG strives to fulfill these goals, the JKG middle school program should do the same. Therefore, this research study aims to answer the question: Does the current Jewish Kids Groups middle school program meet the new approach to Jewish education established by Jewish Kids Groups? To answer this broad question, parents of students currently enrolled 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade were asked a series of questions in both an online survey and focus group format, revolving around four main questions: 1. Why did you choose JKG for your family? 2. Which of the following educational topics are most important to you for your child s middle school Jewish education? 3. What kind of social events outside of the classroom would you most like to see occurring with JKG? 4. What is your vision for your child s bar or bat mitzvah? The answers to these questions will better inform the research team in an effort to determine the nature and parameters of the JKG middle school program most desired by current JKG elementary school parents. 4

6 Definitions of Terms Afterschool and all associated terms refer to the JKG five day a week afterschool program that currently takes place in Atlanta in the Morningside neighborhood. Kids in this program may attend for any number of days per week up to the 5 weekdays the program is offered. Afterschool parents refers to parents with JKG students in the afterschool program. After school focus group refers to the focus groups that occurred at the afterschool location where only parents whose children are registered in the afterschool program were invited to participate. Brookhaven refers to the JKG Sunday program located at the Or VeShalom synagogue in the Brookhaven area of Atlanta, Georgia. Brookhaven parents refers to parents with JKG students enrolled in the Brookhaven program. Brookhaven focus group refers to the focus groups that occurred at the Brookhaven location. In Town refers to the JKG Sunday program located at the Kindezi School in the Old Fourth Ward area of Atlanta, Georgia. In Town parents refers to parents with JKG students enrolled in the In Town program. In Town focus group refers to the focus group that occurred at the In Town location. Sunday parents refers to all parents who completed the online survey with JKG students enrolled in either Sunday program location. Affiliated and Unaffiliated are terms used to describe whether a person is a member of a synagogue (Affiliated) or not a member of a synagogue (Unaffiliated). Interfaith is defined as one parent is Jewish and one parent is not Jewish either by birth, by conversion, or practice. 5

7 Scholarly Review There are many alternative b nai mitzvah programs currently in operation across the United States (and plausibly in other countries), as well as studies researching such programs and how they impact and interact with the synagogue model. The research team took these ideas into consideration when developing this report. This section presents a brief summary of just a few of these studies and programs. The Community Foundation for Jewish Education (CFJE) Report: A Closer Look at Independent B nai Mitzvah in the Chicagoland Area [1] The focus of this report is to seek answers to why unaffiliated families choose the independent bar or bat mitzvah for their child. The report describes how many families who choose an independent bar mitzvah first have to overcome some deep rooted beliefs about not having the ceremony at a synagogue, even if they were never bar mitzvahed or have never belonged to a synagogue. [p. 18]. The article continues that once they overcome the psychological barriers and move forward on their independent path, there is no looking back. The report also emphasized the real the need for collaboration between existing synagogue communities and independent rabbis and tutors. As one independent tutor was quoted as saying, If any synagogue views me as a competition, I am not the problem or the threat. We are living in changing times. In fact, congregational rabbis have expressed their appreciation to me for all the unaffiliated families who now have a place to go and a rabbi to turn to. [p. 22] Finally, the report lists advantages of the independent b nai mitzvah method which included personalization, convenience, increased motivation of students, and experiential education. Insights offered from this study were informative as the research team came to understand the JKG audience better. For example, a common theme emerged in the research that JKG families, much like those in the Chicago study, had a desire to seek what alternatives exist. Likewise, these families have to overcome deep rooted beliefs that a bar or bat mitzvah ceremony must take place in a synagogue or similar setting. In designing the new JKG middle school program, the research team seeks to include the same characteristics: personalization, convenience, creative ways to motivate students, and experiential education. Union for Reform Judaism: B nai Mitzvah Revolution (BMR) [2] According to the BMR website, The B nai Mitzvah Revolution networks congregations together in cohorts to learn from and support one another. The first BMR cohort, made up of Reform congregations across North America, worked in partnership with our staff 6

8 to create experiments of new approaches to b nai mitzvah preparation and observances and document their work along the way. BMR teams seek to create models of preparation and engagement for b nai mitzvah that are more engaging, meaningful, and relevant for both young people and their families, experiment with and implement more effective methods for teaching Hebrew and prayer, and generate new ideas and images of meaningful b nai mitzvah rituals. In a Jewish Journal article Revolutionizing B Nai Mitzvah, [3] Rabbi Jon Hanish and Rabbi Becky Hoffman describe the BMR program as no longer just the ceremony, but a multiyear experience where students and parents develop lifelong connections by praying, playing, studying and reflecting together. This theme is similar to the hopes and desires of JKG parents who are seeking a Jewish community for their families. The BMR program has developed a signature piece that sets it apart from other b nai mitzvah experiences. Rabbis Hanish and Hoffman describe BMR s developing tradition of having the b nai mitzvah take home a Torah the night before their Saturday morning service: The night prior to a child s bar or bat mitzvah, after oneg is over, the child and the parents are brought into a darkened sanctuary, the only light coming from the ner tamid (eternal light) and the ark. With wide eyes, they take the Torah in hand, elated and a bit scared. They are reminded that Judaism survives because past generations have protected the Torah. They keep the Torah in their possession, returning it to the synagogue the next morning. Families describe the sense of calm the Torah brings to their homes and many families share with their children stories about grandparents and great grandparents who smuggled Torahs out of hostile lands. This powerful experience has the potential to inspire students and families spiritually. The JKG program may not be able to send everyone home with a Torah but a ritual to help students and their families achieve their personal spiritual goals would be a nice addition to the newly envisioned program. Jewish Journey Project (JJP), New York [4] JJP is an independent b nai mitzvah experience developed over the past few years in New York City. According to the JJP website JJP is a revolutionary educational initiative for children in grades 3 8. JJP is a collaborative, innovative, and flexible model that engages participants in experiential learning based on their individual interests, schedule, and learning style. The JJP program takes advantage of using the full city of New York as its learning space. According to JJP director Rabbi Lori Forman Jacobi, JJP provides participants 7

9 with opportunities to engage in extensive educational opportunities outside of the classroom, making use of the vast Jewish resources of our great city of New York. JJP is intensively geared toward the individual experience. Each JJP participant plans and builds a personalized journey, choosing courses and workshops that match his or her passions and curiosities as well as preferred mode of learning. Offerings are creative. JJP boasts an exciting and innovative curriculum, which could include creating Torah animation to exploring Hebrew in high tech, from learning about social justice to studying Jewish history and identity at The Jewish Museum. Finally, JJP deals diplomatically in its relationships to existing synagogue communities. According to Forman Jacobi, JJP values the vision and culture inherent to every synagogue community. In order to strengthen ties between participants and their congregations, all JJP participants will attend a regularly scheduled MeetUp at their home synagogue. The JJP model provides great inspiration for what could be in Atlanta. Unlike New York City, Atlanta does not have the same population of potential students in centralized demographic locations. However, the JKG families, like the JJP families, desire learning beyond a traditional classroom in an environment where each person can explore their individual interests and each according to his or her learning style. Reclaiming Bar/Bat Mitzvah as a Spiritual Rite of Passage by Rabbi Goldie Milgram [5] Rabbi Milgram helps readers to find ways to make the bar or bat mitzvah a meaningful rite of passage for the student and family. In her book, she describes the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Action Plan (BMAP) to help students develop their interests in four areas: emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and logistical. The anxiety surrounding the bar or bat mitzvah experience can be reduced as the BMAP increases enthusiasm, reduces conflict, facilitates cooperation, and expands the vision of what is possible. (p. 11). There are great connections in this book that are very helpful in guiding JKG families. The building blocks within this book are useful in creating a curriculum to meet each individual and their family s goals. Much as this book hopes to guide families toward a meaningful Jewish education experience with integrity, JKG seeks to do the same. References cited in the scholarly review [1] %20IND%20BM.p df [2] 8

10 [3] h [4] [5] Milgram, G. (2014). Reclaiming bar/bat mitzvah as a spiritual rite of passage. New Rochelle, NY: Reclaiming Judaism Press. 9

11 Methods Recruitment Participants were recruited for the online survey and for one of the five focus groups through two s sent in October Parents that completed the online survey were sent an additional once again inviting them to participate in the focus groups. Once parents signed up for a focus group, they were sent a confirmation and reminder to attend. After the focus group, participants were sent an thanking them for their participation. Response Rates Online Survey The parents of children enrolled in 2nd through 5th grades were asked to complete the online survey. In October 2015 when the survey was made available, 50 families were enrolled in this grade range in JKG s Sunday program. In addition, 14 families were enrolled in the Afterschool program in grades K through 5. The total population of parents solicited for participation was 128 and 46 parents participated, representing a response rate of 36% on the online survey. More details of the breakdown of parents representing students at each grade level can be found in charts in Appendix 1. Afterschool Focus Group A total of four parents participated in one focus group at the Afterschool location on October 28, These four parents represented seven students, with two in first grade, one in second grade, two in fourth grade, and two in fifth grade. Brookhaven Focus Group A total of eight parents participated in two focus groups at the Brookhaven location. Three parents participated on October 25, 2015 and five parents participated on November 15, These eight parents represented eleven students, with one from pre K, one from first grade, five from third grade, two from fourth grade, one from fifth grade, and one from seventh grade enrolled in the JKG Sunday program at the Brookhaven location. Seven out of the eight of these parents also took the online survey. In Town Focus Group A total of seven parents participated in one focus group at the In Town location on November 1, These seven parents represented nine students, with one in pre K, one in Kindergarten, two in first grade, one in second grade, one in third grade, two in 10

12 fourth grade, and one in fifth grade. Five out of seven of these parents also completed the online survey. Limitations The focus group planned for November 8, 2015 at the In Town location was cancelled due to the fact that only one parent had signed up for that focus group. That parent was invited to attend the subsequent focus group on November 15, 2015 at the Brookhaven location but did not attend. The recording equipment failed at the October 28, 2015 focus group at the Afterschool location. Therefore, data from that focus group is limited compared to only the hand written notes taken at that focus group. While the data collection during the focus groups was rich and meaningful, it should be noted that the numbers of focus group participants are not a statistically significant percentage of the total enrolled JKG population. 11

13 Data analysis For the online survey, results were compiled through Survey Monkey s data compilation system. Data was reported according to the highest groupings of responses, with no less than the three highest priorities reported for any given question. For the focus groups, one of three facilitators led the discussion by use of script (attached in Appendix 2). A JKG staff member was present at each focus group to observe and take notes (except for the Afterschool session on October 28, 2015). The staff person s role was to record all data and assist with any confusion about the method of data collection. Data was collected differently for each of the four major questions. For all of the following data collection methods, parents were encouraged to freely discuss their thoughts on their choice before and after data collection. These reflections were captured through a digital recorder and through hand typed notes and are included in the final data analysis. For the first question, Why did your family choose JKG? parents were asked to place a mark (or their initials if they were comfortable) on one of seven options written on large yellow post it notes, one including add your own where parents could write their own response. When analyzing trends for this question, the number of marks was tallied for each response, with an extra tally given for any significant comment captured during the focus group that reflected the content of one of the options. The top three or more priorities were then reported as parents top three (or more) reasons for choosing JKG. For the second question, Rate these topics in order of importance, parents were asked to rank their top five priorities for their child s Jewish middle school education by placing five post it notes numbered one through five on one of ten poster boards representing ten different Jewish educational topics. Some parents chose to include more than one top priority by crossing out the number of another post it note, writing a 1 (or other number) on that post it note, and posting that on another educational topic as their second top priority. Data collection reflects the parents choice to sometimes include more than one top priority. When analyzing trends for this question, the value of numbered responses was tallied for each response. with consideration given for any significant comment captured during the focus group that reflected the content of one of the options. The top three or more priorities were then reported as parents top three (or more) educational priorities for the JKG middle school experience. 12

14 For the third question, How do you want to extend friendships beyond the classroom, parents were asked to discuss a few different options, and responses were gathered through hand typed notes and digital recording. When analyzing trends for the third question, the number of similar responses was tallied. The top three or more priorities were then reported as parents top three (or more) desires for building friendships outside of the classroom. For the final question, What do you envision for your child s bar or bat mitzvah, parents were asked to write their response on an index card with the above question written on the front of the index card, and they were also asked to discuss their responses, which were captured through hand typed notes and through digital recording. When analyzing trends for the fourth question for each focus group, comments from the index cards were combined with similar significant comments from the focus group discussion. The top three or more priorities were then reported as parents top three (or more) aspects of parents envisioned bar or bat mitzvah experience. For the Brookhaven focus groups, data was combined from the two focus groups to determine priorities across both focus groups. All hand typed notes were checked against the recording of the focus group (except for at the Afterschool group, where the recording equipment failed). All data was analyzed separately by two independent researchers prior to the writing of the final report. 13

15 Findings Focus Groups Afterschool Generally, parents in the Afterschool program desired a camp and kibbutz like environment for their child s Jewish educational experience. One parent was grateful that JKG was like Jewish camp every day for JKG students. Another parent specifically was attracted to JKG as an innovative approach to Jewish education as compared to a Hebrew school model that has not worked. As far as a desire for the middle school experience, one parent commented, if only it could be the best of Limmud, Meets In the City Camp meets Haverah. Question 1: Why did you choose JKG for your family? Parents most often responded that they chose to attend JKG because they wanted it to be their family s Jewish community, because they perceived JKG to be awesome, and because it is near their house. One parent mentioned JKG as an alternative to the synagogue community, stating that the synagogue was too expensive, it did not offer the desired Jewish community connection, and that its educational program was lackluster. Question 2: Rate these topics in order of importance. Prepare to lead Shabbat services, learn blessings and prayers, and read Hebrew Afterschool parents mentioned the combined topic of preparing to lead Shabbat services and learning blessings and prayers as their top priority for their child s middle school Jewish educational experience. Notably, all responses from the Afterschool focus group framed their responses in terms of preparing for the bar or bat mitzvah. One parent mentioned, I want my kids to have traditional bar and bat mitzvah, to have what I had. This parent participated in Jewish day school and Jewish summer camp for many years growing up and learned to lead a service, and likewise hopes that they will feel confident and comfortable leading a service as well. Therefore, the main priority for this parent was that the student learn to lead Jewish prayers, but also to learn Jewish values and Torah themes and stories which might be more meaningful for them. 14

16 The parent also emphasized that even in the aspect of preparing to lead a Shabbat service, that it should be what is meaningful to them that they could help prepare by choosing what prayers etc. are meaningful to them, so they can take ownership. This parent did see commonality with other parents in finding meaningfulness and taking ownership of the bar or bat mitzvah experience. Another parent agreed, stating I would want something more traditional. I guess I m a believer in they ve been doing this for so long, so why not. The parent also agreed that while a traditional service may be important, I totally think that s there s a real need for a place where people can put together alternative rituals and alternative ways to celebrate I want JKG to be a place where you figure out how that works for you and is meaningful for your child how they connect to it. Ultimately the parent emphasized the bar or bat mitzvah experience as something that would guarantee Jewish continuity, stating, I m a big believer in ritual. I think JKG should have those milestones. We re trying to make Jews now. Finally, one parent wanted their child to be able to lead a service and prayers and know Hebrew because this parent love[s] the idea of the sense of that she learns this, she can go anywhere in the world and she can lead a service and feel connected and not feel alien. Jewish values and ethics Parents next focused on their child learning Jewish values and ethics in the program, sometimes because they felt, unlike other parents, that the service and ritual aspect was not as important. One parent who picked learning Jewish values and ethics as a top priority stated that the child s concept of synagogue services is not really there, and therefore what I d love for her is to come up with meaningful experiences of what she values in Judaism [and] spending a school year doing that. Another parent who was not expecting anything traditional in the child s bat mitzvah experience, stated that experience should be really meaningful for her. She wished to emphasize Jewish values and ethics, so that the bat mitzvah could somehow connect what she values in her life to Judaism and her Jewish life. Another parent commented that having a community service aspect to the bar or bat mitzvah was intertwined and one and the same with the essential Jewish values and 15

17 ethics component of a such an experience. It's more than just we re going to have this giant party that seems like a lot of B.S. the parent continued. It's far more meaningful if you re going to learn that you're going to be connected through service and ethics. Social networks and Jewish friendships Although not a top priority according to the official recording method, social networks and Jewish friendships was a top priority for some parents. One parent, who chose other topics as top priorities, stated, I prefaced everything with building Jewish friendships and connections. If all that s in place, reading Hebrew, being able to lead a service, Jewish values and ethics are all good. Other suggestions for the bar or bat mitzvah experience One parent made the instructive suggestion JKG considering hiring or contracting with someone whose job is working with each individual family to come up with what s good for them for the bar or bat mitzvah experience, someone much like a rabbi whose job is to help them figure out what s right for the family. Another parent suggested an Israel trip for the bar or bat mitzvah experience, but at least one parent refused to consider that option. Question 3: Social experiences for parents: Parents in general were in favor of more outside the classroom options for JKG, but differed as to what that should look like. One parent made the instructive comment that I think the [JKG] cohort is really valuable. Every year there's going to be the same cohort, and I think there s real value in building that community. I think that s a core part of Judaism. Parents disagreed over whether outside events should be a requirement. One parent suggested having a minimal amount of required outside events to attend, presumably to cover costs, while another parent stated that if outside events are a natural extension of JKG, of course we would attend, but not if it s a requirement. As far as actual activities, parents did not feel too strongly about what they wanted. One parent did mention a desire for more community service, and also stated that they hate the idea of going to two different shuls as an activity, stating that just makes me cringe. Parents were not generally vocal about whether they would rather pay for more community organizing or would rather volunteer themselves. One parent, however, 16

18 stated that if its parent run, I don t think it will happen. I think there needs to be someone who owns it. No one disagreed with this statement. Parents agreed on a need for JKG social events for students in the middle school years. JKG is going to have to do something for the kids who are getting older, stated one parent. If we don t do it, we are not continuing that feeling of community for the younger kids as they become older. One parent suggested overnights and other community activities for students at this age, because even if they don t participate in a Shabbat style bar or bat mitzvah, they will wind up with a tutor. Other parents emphasized a need for more family events or overnight family retreats. Others desired more parent education classes and thought that it would be unrealistic for their JKG student to sit through more Jewish class time outside of JKG. Brookhaven Much data was gathered in the introduction to the focus group about the parents in the room. Overwhelmingly, parents in the Brookhaven group chose JKG because of a desire to give their children a non coercive cultural Jewish education not pigeonholed into a particular movement. One parent expressed that the opportunity for my kids to get the Jewish education, rather than their Reform Jewish education or their Conservative Jewish education, is what s most important. Another parent expressed, What appeals to us is a certain counting in of people that are secular, this introduces the concept that you don t have to be affiliated with a synagogue or a religious school. Another parent expressed the aspect of non coercion from the opposite direction, that of not forcing their children to be less involved in Judaism than they might want to: I consider myself more of a cultural Jew more than a religious Jew but I don t want that to limit my children s Jewish identity. I want to give them the choice. This gives us the option to provide for our kids without limiting them. The next most frequent factor for choosing JKG was a desire to educate their children Jewishly, but to avoid an otherwise loathed Hebrew school experience. This sentiment was based either on past experiences, or from what they have observed from first sending kids to traditional Hebrew schools, or from observing friends children miserable in traditional Hebrew school. Nearly all parents from the Brookhaven focus groups mentioned that they and/or their spouse hated Hebrew school growing up. One parent added that I have so many friends that go to other synagogues, and their kids cry and 17

19 don t want to go to Sunday school, it s sad, I don t want to pull them from their Sunday school, but my kids are sad when they cannot go to JKG. Next in frequency, parents expressed a desire to ensure their child had a bar or bat mitzvah, and often they expressed a desire that their children understand some level of Hebrew for their bar or bat mitzvah. Parents also often expressed a desire that the bar or bat mitzvah experience be non traditional or flexible, and they were grateful that they perceived that JKG was offering that option. One parent expressed: I was very excited to learn maybe she doesn t have to learn to read Torah, maybe she can learn Hebrew, and the traditions, things that are more important to me [but] maybe she can have a bat mitzvah that still might be fun. Finally, parents mentioned a desire to give their children a Jewish community experience similar to the Jewish summer camp or youth group experience that they or their spouses enjoyed growing up. One parent expressed, This is his Jewish summer camp essentially. This is the place where he needs to meet other friends that he can identify with in a Jewish way. Interfaith/conversion/ other family dynamics The Brookhaven group of parents was less likely to be a part of an interfaith, conversion, or other non traditional family dynamic situation. Nevertheless, some parents mentioned that their spouse is either not a practicing Jew or is a convert to Judaism who has less background than them. One parent specifically mentioned that JKG serves as added backup to help raise the children Jewishly, despite the parent s spouse not being Jewish. More than one parent expressed a conflict with that parent s spouse about the level of Jewish education they wanted their child to receive because they grew up with different levels of involvement in Judaism. This parent emphasized that JKG solved their conflict by offering them a neutral form of Jewish education that would non coercively allow their children to choose their own level of Jewish involvement. Another parent stated that JKG was exactly what we were looking for. We had, every month or so, a difficult conversation, what are we going to do? Synagogue, bar mitzvah, we didn t want to join a synagogue, then we d get upset, and talk about it next month, that was our cycle! Seriously! Then this showed it up, and it was like, someone was bugging our house! 18

20 Question 1: Why did you choose JKG for your family? Alternative to the synagogue The most popular response for why Brookhaven families chose JKG was a combination of two responses. First, that they were not synagogue members, and second that they did not need to join a synagogue. Many cited the exorbitant expense of synagogues, feeling excluded at synagogues, and the inconvenience of travelling to many synagogues. What emerges is that many Brookhaven parents have chosen JKG as an alternative to and replacement for the synagogue community for their children. Many parents mentioned feeling turned off by all of the cost and the building funds associated with synagogues. Others felt excluded by the socio economic culture of synagogues, commenting that they didn t want to be the only ones who are not doctors and lawyers at a synagogue. Another parent followed up: It s a lot of money. You have to sacrifice other things you would do for your kids for synagogue dues. Location, community, and kids enjoyment The second most popular responses for the Brookhaven group were that JKG was close to home, filled a need for Jewish community, and was beloved by their children [JKG seems awesome]. One parent, speaking of her kids love of JKG, stated that I am not willing to drive anywhere [in Atlanta] because I m from [a city] where it s a grid, but I am willing to drive to JKG because my kids love it. The same parent commented that her children think it s more individualized, and they specifically mentioned and like the fact that they are not just saying prayers and not knowing what they mean. That s what was happening at the other two synagogues. Other parents commented that their kids love it, find JKG joyful, and that they are so happy to go. In contrast to JKG s convenient location, parents commented on the inconvenience of travelling to many synagogues in Atlanta. One parent emphasized ardently that while her family loved Friday night services at a certain synagogue, nevertheless we were sitting in traffic for an hour, and our kids were miserable. We couldn t figure out how to make it work traffic wise. There is nothing close here for synagogue options If you are going to spend all of that money to join synagogue, you want to be able to go to it. Parents were most vocal about their hope that JKG can fully become the Jewish community for parents and students, and one said outright that we ve been looking for community. One parent similarly wondered if joining JKG would give him access to a men s group, and wondered if down the road JKG would offer a discussion group for 19

21 parents that would help teach them to be Jewish, with classes similar to conversion classes. Scheduling concerns Although this was not the most popular response for the official tracking method, parents mentioned some very instructive comments dealing with scheduling and JKG s frequency during the week and the year. One parent mentioned, My kids are involved in sports and a ton of other stuff. Having a huge commitment for tons of days [for JKG] would have been hard. Question 2: Rate these topics in order of importance Building social networks and Jewish friendships Parents of Brookhaven JKG students decided that building social networks and Jewish friendships was the top priority for their children s Jewish middle school education. One parent commented that JKG was a replacement for an overly expensive but otherwise essential Jewish summer camp experience. My kids will probably not go to Jewish summer camp, she said, because my son goes to private [school]. Between private school and JKG we are bleeding money. So Jewish summer camp is out, so this is his Jewish summer camp essentially. This is the place where he needs to meet other friends that he can identify with in a Jewish way. Another parent mentioned building social networks and Jewish friendships, but for slightly different reasons. I just really want my kids to have a strong identity with their Jewish religion, she said. They won t be going to Jewish summer camp. I don t know where else they d get it. Other parents commented that JKG was important for their child s Jewish friendships because there were few Jewish children in their schools or neighborhoods, or even if there was a Jewish presence, there was not a Jewish community. One parent stated, In our school, you can count on both hands how many Jewish kids are there. Jewish values and ethics Parents listed discussing Jewish values and ethics as their second most important priority for their children s Jewish education. In spite of this, parents seem to be unclear on exactly what Jewish ethics are and whether their children are currently learning these ethics and values at JKG. One parent stated that he didn t think his children were getting any values or ethics education at 20

22 JKG Journey, yet it is a fact that the current JKG Journey program offers education in Jewish ethics from the Talmud. Jewish history The third priority for Brookhaven parents was that their children should learn Jewish history, often because they loved history and wanted their children to have a roots concept. Another parent stated that I want my kids to know more about the diaspora, more of a cultural approach to the history of the Jews, and not just that it started in 1948, and there was nothing before that except for Moses. A few parents expressed a desire to travel to Israel as a group with JKG, as a way of reinforcing they and their child s understanding of Jewish values, history, and culture. Other topics and issues: Preparing for the bar mitzvah Although the following items were not listed as top priorities through the official tracking method, parents had valuable and instructive comments concerning the bar or bat mitzvah experience. Many parents commented on the importance of their child being able to read Hebrew in preparation for their bar or bat mitzvah, but also mentioned hesitations about this given the time commitment that this could entail. One parent commented: It is really important that they learn Hebrew. That is almost important as everything else, but I don t want to have to do the Hebrew school twice a week because I have so many other things to do also. I am hoping we can accomplish that here in just one day a week. Even if they are just reading and not comprehending, I still want them to read it, but I hope they can read and comprehend it a little bit. Other parents likewise framed their response to their educational priorities in terms of their child s bar or bat mitzvah. One parent, reflecting on what parts of the bat mitzvah that I liked the most and wanted my daughter to get, first thought of reading Hebrew, as well as community service projects, which to this parent are one of the greatest parts of the bat mitzvah experience. Final comments It is significant that no one out of eight parent participants in the Brookhaven focus groups mentioned or chose learning Torah themes and stories as an educational goal for their child s middle school Jewish education. This material is commonly necessary to write a D Var Torah which is typically a component of the bar or bat mitzvah experience. 21

23 Question 3: Extending friendships outside the classroom Community service projects When asked what kind of programs outside of JKG they might want for them and their children, parents most often expressed a desire for more community service projects. One parent was vocal that she hoped that any community service project would be close to and touch whomever we are serving. Sometimes, she continued, it becomes parents dragging kids along. For kids, it s not really tangible unless you are seeing feeling and touching the people you are working with We are doing all of this work to encourage empathy and community service, [so] it really needs to be something where we are touching and doing something concrete. Another parent mentioned, as a solution to this problem, bringing a meal and staying overnight at a homeless shelter in the area. Along these lines, parents expressed a desire to visit Jewish sites around Atlanta, and to include a community service aspect to these field trips, such as visiting and serving at a Jewish elderly home. Shabbat dinners Parents expressed a desire for Shabbat dinners outside of JKG class time. On this point, one parent expressed, When I was a kid growing up, we were involved in the Temple, and my parents whole social life revolved around the chavera. I think having something like that would be awesome. Another parent was enthusiastic about a Shabbat dinner group that she enjoyed in her former community, and lamented that it had fallen off. She hoped that JKG could offer something similar. Parents also mentioned that this would likely be the least expensive option for social get togethers. Education workshops Finally, parents expressed a fair amount of interest in educational workshops. Some parents worried that it would be difficult for them to attend a workshop just for parents while their children were at JKG, for instance, because they need to stay home during that time to take care of younger children. Others were happy to stay at JKG for a parent workshop in order to meet more JKG parents. Those who were not able to stay for a parents only workshop during JKG class time nevertheless expressed interest in educational workshops for the entire family, outside of JKG hours. Finally, a few parents mentioned an interest in more informal gatherings for parents, such as a JKG men s club or sisterhood. 22

24 Higher tuition versus more volunteering Overwhelmingly, parents were not willing to pay higher tuition to hire a new JKG staff person to organize outside social events. Most parents suggested a middle ground between higher tuition versus no social events. Some suggested charging parents separately for whichever events they chose to attend, with the costs covering the event. Costs paid for each event might also cover an internal person already at JKG who would be given extra duties and paid a little more to cover one or more events. Others suggested hiring someone to get the ball rolling, but to only charge separate donation funds for programs instead of higher tuition for everyone. Some suggested a similar approach: hire someone, but don t raise tuition and have parents organize, publicize, and clean up on a volunteer basis. Many parents expressed a willingness to perform any extra work not already covered by these costs with their own volunteer efforts. One parent mentioned that she and other parents had already taken the initiative to organize a mini PTA for JKG parents and that they had already enjoyed a wine bar social event together. Other parents wondered if JKG would raise tuition and if they could opt out of the social events and pay a lower tuition. Overall, parents seemed willing to help more with separate donations and volunteering than with higher tuition. Still, as one parent put it, Think of the money we aren t spending on synagogues; we can donate at least part of that. Question 4. What do you envision for your child s bar or bat mitzvah Universal themes: desire for a bar mitzvah and nervousness/confusion about the process Before addressing details of what Brookhaven parents specifically want for their child s bar or bat mitzvah, what clearly emerges from discussions with these parents is that all of them (besides one) want and expect their child to have a bar or bat mitzvah, and nearly all of them who did not speak to the JKG director felt nervous or scared about what that is going to look like. Specific desires: No great consistency The only overwhelmingly consistent theme that emerged for Brookhaven parents specific desires for their child s bar or bat mitzvah was a desire for a community service 23

25 element. Parents did not elaborate on this desire specifically in the context of the bar mitzvah discussion, although they did elaborate in great detail about their desire for community service when responding to other questions (see responses to Question 3 above). Parents were ambivalent about what kind of space they wanted their service in, and most said that they would be happy to have it either in a synagogue or some other sacred space, or in a more neutral space like a park or their backyard. Less than half of parents specifically mentioned knowing Hebrew as a key element to their child s bar or bat mitzvah preparation. About the same number, around three, mentioned wanting to have the experience in Israel. Instructive thoughts and suggestions Parents had some constructive comments about how JKG might consider handling a potential bar mitzvah planning component. One parent suggested that, just as JKG might want to help pay someone extra to help parents plan social and learning events, they might also consider some special fund, when the children turn eleven or twelve, to hire a bar mitzvah coordinator. Another parent agreed, saying there should be another cost for bat mitzvah, but I don t think it should cost much more. Finally, one parent offered a very informative comment about another program similar to JKG that failed because it did not offer programs beyond the elementary school level. The parent stated that this program had a Sunday school that her older child did for two years. The parent commented that it was very good the problem was that there was nothing that was happening after. The director was trying to get a bat mitzvah track but it was shut down (because they knew that the other synagogues in area were going to get upset about it). The program closed shortly thereafter. This may be a warning call to the JKG program to think carefully about offering a solid b nai mitzvah option for the middle school program. Final thoughts and suggestions When asked for any final comments or suggestions, parents had some helpful comments. One parent suggested, If money were no object, I would say that to have our own building. It s like a dance around Atlanta for JKG. It s like we re here, now we are here, and here. Obviously, it is a small community starting out. Obviously you have limitations on what you could afford, but if there was a central location for JKG, that would be my number one. 24

26 One parent spoke about the critical factor of location. I have friends who live in Morningside, he said, and they go to that JKG location. I know that if it was offered here [at Brookhaven] they wouldn t be able to go, and vice versa for us. The solution to ensuring a good location, he suggested, was to make sure to have JKG at synagogues. A synagogue setting, I think, is especially beneficial. A synagogue location will draw a population that is more local that is more likely to join. In Town Parents of In Town students most often mentioned their and their children s happiness with JKG s young, lively, and camp counselor like staff. Parents most frequently mentioned their satisfaction that JKG and its staff recreates a camp or youth group like experience experiences that many of these parents felt were the most important foundations for their Jewish identity. One parent commented that Jewish summer camp is absolutely [why] I feel my Jewish identity. One hundred percent of it was from camp, I grew up in synagogue, I was bat mitzvahed, did Hebrew school, was confirmed, did [Jewish] sorority, the whole thing, but camp is one hundred percent how I feel my connection. Next in frequency, parents mentioned that they and their children were excited about learning at JKG, that they appreciated the quality of the learning at JKG, and that the learning was kid friendly, unlike at traditional Hebrew school. One parent described a conversation with the director on the program that had her sold on choosing JKG. First thing [the director] said was I am an educational researcher, here s what I have done to explore what works, what keeps Jewish kids and adults tied to Jewish community, that it is not traditional Hebrew school with book and pencil learning, and a mean old teacher; that is not what keeps adults tied to a Jewish identity with the Jewish community; it s more like camp experience, a USY experience, and then to channel that into a school, into learning [at JKG], it didn t take much more convincing, it was so perfect. Interfaith/conversion/ other family dynamics The In Town group of parents was more likely to be part of an interfaith family or a family with at least one parent that converted to Judaism. Two parents were married to a spouse of another faith, and two other parents were part of a marriage where one spouse converted to Judaism. Interestingly, these parents stayed for a half hour after the focus group to continue to discuss challenges and opportunities raising children in an interfaith situation or in a situation where one parent did not grow up practicing Judaism. 25