VINCENT VAN GOGH S FAMILY TREE

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Alfred Moore
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3 All Rights Reserved 2015 VINCENT VAN GOGH S FAMILY TREE His

Gogh His brother who loves prunes Gotta Gogh His brother who

Gogh His cousin from Illinois - Chica Gogh His uncle the

Wells Farr Gogh His constipated Irish uncle - Canna Gogh His

- Flamin Gogh His psychiatrist uncle - E.

speaker nephew Way To Gogh His bouncy 4 year old son - Poe

who travels the country in a recreational vehicle - Winnie Bay

1 3 All Rights Reserved 2015 VINCENT VAN GOGH S FAMILY TREE His grandfather from Yugoslavia - Hugh Gogh His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh His brother who loves prunes Gotta Gogh His brother who works at a convenience store - Stop N. Gogh His cousin from Illinois - Chica Gogh His uncle the magician - Where Diddy Gogh His stage coach driving nephew - Wells Farr Gogh His constipated Irish uncle - Canna Gogh His ballroom dancing sister - Tang Gogh His bird watching brother - Flamin Gogh His psychiatrist uncle - E. Gogh His fruit loving cousin - Mang Gogh His motivational speaker nephew Way To Gogh His bouncy 4 year old son - Poe Gogh His sister who loves disco dancing - Go Gogh His brother who travels the country in a recreational vehicle - Winnie Bay Gogh And There You Gogh! PUBLISHED AND DISTRIBUTED WEEKLY BY PASSTIMES OF ARIZONA, LLC - PASSTIMESAZ@LIVE.COM

2 EVERY WORD OF GOD IS FLAWLESS - PROVERBS 30:5 TODAY I M JUST PRETENDING TO BE HERE EVERYBODY LIES, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF NOBODY LISTENS THERE IS NO GREATER TREASURE THAN A GOOD FRIEND

3 I WENT ON YOUTUBE TO WATCH A QUICK MUSIC VIDEO. 5 HOURS LATER I FOUND MYSELF WATCHING A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO TALK TO A COW

THE THINGS THAT COME TO THOSE THAT WAIT MAY BE THE THINGS LEFT BY THOSE WHO GOT THERE FIRST SOMEBODY GOT STOPPED An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 A.M.. The officer asked him why he was out so late.

Who is Hiccupping loudly, the old man replied, My wife!

She burned the bottom and wasn t cooked all the way through! When I complained, she said it wasn t her fault. She used the high altitude directions just like it says on the box.

5 THE THINGS THAT COME TO THOSE THAT WAIT MAY BE THE THINGS LEFT BY THOSE WHO GOT THERE FIRST SOMEBODY GOT STOPPED An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 A.M.. The officer asked him why he was out so late. The man replied, I m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse, smoking and staying out late. The officer then asked, Really? giving a lecture at this time of night? Who is Hiccupping loudly, the old man replied, My wife! BLONDIE STRIKES AGAIN Recently married to a blonde, a man complained to his friend, My wife baked me a cake for my birthday. It was awful! She burned the bottom and wasn t cooked all the way through! When I complained, she said it wasn t her fault. She used the high altitude directions just like it says on the box. When I pointed out that we live at sea level, she told me, Yes, but we live on the third floor. CIRCULAR LOGIC I can t get my wedding ring off anymore, said the lady. Wow, said her friend, doesn t that cut off your circulation? Oh, honey, said the woman, my circulation was cut off the first day I put it on!

6 I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET TAKE TIME TO LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF SILENCE

7 I MADE EVERYTHING OUT OF NOTHING. TRUST ME, I CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU - GOD TOO BAD THERE ISN T A VACCINE AGAINST BEING A DUMMY

IF PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO BRING YOU DOWN THAT ONLY MEANS THAT YOU ARE ABOVE THEM I TRAINED ALL SEASON TO EAT AT THE CHAMPIONSHIP LEVEL I HAVE A PASSION FOR

cemetery since her last visit several years past. "Lots of new greenery," she said. "And families are together now." "All together?

They'd just dig a grave wherever it seemed to balance things.

"You mean they exhumed all those people and re buried them?" "Oh my, no," was the reply. "We just shifted the headstones.

" TEED OFF Three elderly men went into the pro-shop after playing 18 holes of golf to have a cup of coffee and chew the fat.

8 IF PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO BRING YOU DOWN THAT ONLY MEANS THAT YOU ARE ABOVE THEM I TRAINED ALL SEASON TO EAT AT THE CHAMPIONSHIP LEVEL I HAVE A PASSION FOR NOT COOKING RELATIVELY SPEAKING An older woman recently returned from her home town in North Carolina and told a friend they'd spruced up the churchyard cemetery since her last visit several years past. "Lots of new greenery," she said. "And families are together now." "All together?" her friend asked, puzzled. "Well," the first replied, "years ago they never much worried where they buried someone because everyone was a neighbor anyhow. They'd just dig a grave wherever it seemed to balance things. But they've redone it so people are with their children and grandchildren, instead of scattered." The friend was still puzzled. "You mean they exhumed all those people and re buried them?" "Oh my, no," was the reply. "We just shifted the headstones. Everyone agrees it looks ever so much nicer." TEED OFF Three elderly men went into the pro-shop after playing 18 holes of golf to have a cup of coffee and chew the fat. The club pro asked, Have a good time out there? "Sure did", the first old man said. I had 3 riders! The second old man added, I had 5 riders, the most ever. The third old man chimed in, And I had 12 riders! Beat my all-time record. After the 3 old men left, another golfer asked the pro, I ve played golf all my life and thought I knew all the terminology, but what is a rider?" A rider is when you hit the ball far enough that you have to get in the golf car and ride to it."

THOSE WHO CONCEAL THEIR SINS DO NOT PROSPER, BUT THOSE WHO

IS A MOCKER AND BEER A BRAWLER - PROVERBS 20:1 DAILY

TRIVIA Q. What is the shortest chapter in the Bible? A.

Psalm 118 Fact: There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118.

Fact: Add these two numbers together and you get 1188. Q.

man. Q. What is the longest word in the Bible? A.

How long does it take to read the entire Bible? A.

9 THOSE WHO CONCEAL THEIR SINS DO NOT PROSPER, BUT THOSE WHO CONFESS AND RENOUNCE THEM FIND MERCY - PROVERBS 28:13 WINE IS A MOCKER AND BEER A BRAWLER - PROVERBS 20:1 DAILY DEVOTIONS ARE BETTER THAN NEW YEAR S RESOLUTIONS BIBLE TRIVIA Q. What is the shortest chapter in the Bible? A. Psalms 117 Q. What is the longest chapter in the Bible? A. Psalms 119 Q. What chapter is in the exact center of the Bible? A. Psalm 118 Fact: There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118. Fact: There are 594 chapters after Psalm 118. Fact: Add these two numbers together and you get Q. What verse is at the exact center in the Bible? A. Psalm 118:8 Q. What is that verse? A. It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. Q. What is the longest word in the Bible? A. Mahershalalhashbaz (Isaiah 8:1, 3) Q. How long does it take to read the entire Bible? A. On average, 70 hours. Q. What does the word Bible mean? A. It means simply book. Q. How many Bibles are distributed daily in the U.S.? A. Over 170,000 THOSE WITH UNDERSTANDING HOLD THEIR TONGUES -PROV 11:12

Answers 1. A hare 2. Dr. Christiaan Barnard, 1967 3. Spain 4. The pula 5.

Early 17th century (c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.

PROVERBS 3:5 IN 1000 YEARS, ARCHEOLOGISTS WILL FIND TANNING BEDS AND THINK THAT

FIRSTS: Who was the first surgeon to perform a heart transplant? 3.

GEOGRAPHY: What is the basic currency of Botswana? 5.

CHEMISTRY: What is the common use for the drug diphenhydramine hydrochloride? 7.

10 Answers 1. A hare 2. Dr. Christiaan Barnard, Spain 4. The pula 5. Jupiter 6. Antihistamine to treat allergies 7. Anne Boleyn 8. Vulcan 9. Mertz 10. Early 17th century (c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc. TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING - PROVERBS 3:5 IN 1000 YEARS, ARCHEOLOGISTS WILL FIND TANNING BEDS AND THINK THAT WE FRIED PEOPLE AS PUNISHMENT WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY NO LONGER MATTERS. IT S A NEW DAY 1. MOVIES: What was Luna Lovegood's "patronus" in the "Harry Potter" movies? 2. FIRSTS: Who was the first surgeon to perform a heart transplant? 3. FOOD & DRINK: In what country did the drink sherry originate? 4. GEOGRAPHY: What is the basic currency of Botswana? 5. ASTRONOMY: Ganymede is a moon of which planet in our solar system? 6. CHEMISTRY: What is the common use for the drug diphenhydramine hydrochloride? 7. HISTORY: Who was the second wife of Henry VIII of England? 8. MYTHOLOGY: Who was the Roman god of fire? 9. TELEVISION: What was the last name of neighbors Ethel and Fred on the "I Love Lucy" show? 10. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: In what century was tea introduced to Europe?

11 HOW MANY BOXES OF THESE THIN MINTS DO I NEED TO EAT BEFORE I SEE RESULTS? PIZZA DELIVERY CARS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO USE SIRENS FOR PIZZA EMERGENCIES

I DON T THINK I COULD EVER STAB SOMEONE. LET S BE HONEST.

SLEEP BECAUSE IT'S LIKE A TIME MACHINE TO BREAKFAST It was comedian Bill Maher who made the following sage

said they enjoyed the tailgating more than they enjoyed the game.

mid-december. More than 13,000 couples in the U.S. tied the knot on Dec.

Anyone else who would like to marry on a number-sequential date will have a long wait; it won't happen again

You might be surprised to learn that Pennsylvania was not named after William Penn, one of the colony's

father, Admiral William Penn, and created the name of the sizable land grant by combining the name of the

12 I DON T THINK I COULD EVER STAB SOMEONE. LET S BE HONEST. I CAN BARELY GET THE STRAW INTO THE CAPRI SUN COMMIT TO THE LORD WHATEVER YOU DO - PROVERBS 16:3 I LOVE SLEEP BECAUSE IT'S LIKE A TIME MACHINE TO BREAKFAST It was comedian Bill Maher who made the following sage observation: "Is [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn't know a game is going on?" If you're one of the many Americans who likes a good tailgate party, it's entirely possible that it's the highlight of game day for you. In a survey conducted by McCormick Grill Mates during the 2014 football season, 44 percent of respondents said they enjoyed the tailgating more than they enjoyed the game. Spring is traditionally considered the most popular time for weddings, but 2014 saw a spike in nuptials in mid-december. More than 13,000 couples in the U.S. tied the knot on Dec. 13, due in large part to the fact that 12/13/14 fell on a Saturday. Anyone else who would like to marry on a number-sequential date will have a long wait; it won't happen again until January 2, Just like your fingerprint, your tongue print is unique. You might be surprised to learn that Pennsylvania was not named after William Penn, one of the colony's founders; in fact, King Charles II granted the land charter to William Penn in repayment of a debt to Penn's father, Admiral William Penn, and created the name of the sizable land grant by combining the name of the naval officer with the Latin word "sylvania," which means "woods." The younger Penn was embarrassed and feared that people would think he named the colony after himself. He petitioned the crown to change the name, but the king refused. If you're feeling a bit chilled and can't wait for springtime, consider this: On the planet Uranus, winter lasts for 21 years. Thought for the Day: "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." -- Oscar Wilde (c) 2015 King Features Synd., Inc.

THE CAMDEN VALLEY VOICE

THE CAMDEN VALLEY VOICE Volume 22: Issue 8 September 2016 Page 1 A Publication of The Camden Area Family History Society Inc. P.O. Box 679. Camden. NSW. 2570 Web: www.camdenhistory.org.au Editor. Warren