NEW NORTH LONDON SYNAGOGUE PRACTICAL ARRANGEMENTS FOR. BAR and BAT MITZVAH IN THE SHACHARIT (SHABBAT MORNING) SERVICE

Transcription

1 NEW NORTH LONDON SYNAGOGUE PRACTICAL ARRANGEMENTS FOR BAR and BAT MITZVAH IN THE SHACHARIT (SHABBAT MORNING) SERVICE Updated July 2018

2 INDEX PRACTICAL ARRANGEMENTS: Page TWO YEARS TO EIGHTEEN MONTHS BEFOREHAND 3 TWELVE MONTHS BEFOREHAND 4 SIX TO NINE MONTHS BEFOREHAND 4 FOUR MONTHS BEFOREHAND 5 EIGHT WEEKS BEFOREHAND 5 SIX WEEKS BEFOREHAND 5 FOUR WEEKS BEFOREHAND 6 TWO WEEKS BEFOREHAND 6 THE WEEK OF THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH 6 SHABBAT OF THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH 6 POST-BAR AND BAT MITZVAH 6 SUPPORT FOR YOUR FAMILY 6 ALIYOT, MITZVOT AND LEYNING 7 BAR MITZVAH IN THE TRADITIONAL SERVICE SHABBAT MORNING 7 ROSH CHODESH PRAYER (FOR THE NEW MOON) 7 BAT MITZVAH IN THE TRADITIONAL SERVICE SHABBAT MORNING 8 BAR OR BAT MITZVAH IN THE HAKOL OLIN OR ASSIF SERVICE SHABBAT MORNING 8 VENUE ALLOCATION 10 KIDDUSH 10 TREES 10 ETIQUETTE AND DECORUM 11 FAMILY LEARNING JOURNEYS 13 FAMILY SHIUR 13 TWINNING/TZEDAKAH AND TIKUN OLAM PROJECTS 14 OTHER MATTERS 17 APPENDIX 1: LIST OF CONTACTS 18 APPENDIX 2: KIDDUSH REQUEST FORM 19 APPENDIX 3: SWEET THROWING WAIVER 20 GLOSSARY 21 2

3 PRACTICAL ARRANGEMENTS BAR AND BAT MITZVAH This booklet aims to assist with the practical arrangements leading up to your Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration. Each family is allocated a family liaison who will make contact and arrange to meet you approximately six months before your celebration date and who will provide support throughout the process. Your liaison will be your first port of call with any queries you may have concerning practical arrangements. You will find a list of all the Synagogue personnel connected to B nei Mitzvah in Appendix 1. What will happen TWO YEARS TO EIGHTEEN MONTHS BEFOREHAND Parents of Year 5 girls and Year 6 boys will be invited to an information meeting where the different B nei Mitzvah services available in the Synagogue and what is expected of your child will be outlined. You will be able to choose from one of our three minyanim: Traditional service Hakol Olin (Traditional Egalitarian) Assif (Traditional Egalitarian) You will also have the choice between a Shabbat morning (Shacharit) or Shabbat afternoon (Minchah) service or a weekday Shacharit service. At the meeting you will receive a letter with a deadline which will need to be returned to the Synagogue office with your family s preferred service option. Between three and six months after the options meeting, you will receive a date within your chosen service. We are a large community with around B nei Mitzvah per year and we work hard to balance the needs of the community and the families. We have a B nei Mitzvah policy to ensure that there is fair allocation process for every family. We allocate in age order after your child s Hebrew birthday. The venue for your simcha will be allocated depending on your expected guest numbers and other events occurring on the same day. Should your expected guest numbers have increased significantly from the amount previously estimated, a room outside of the synagogue building may need to be allocated in order to accommodate your simcha. Please contact us to discuss any special health or learning needs so we can give you the appropriate support you require. We expect regular and frequent attendance by the family in the year leading up to Bar/Bat Mitzvah on Shabbat mornings and at Friday night services. This helps to familiarise you and your child with the service and what is expected of them. We recommend minimum attendance of once a month when you are two years before your simcha and twice a month in the year before. You will be invited to two Shabbat engagement pieces per term as part of the B nei Mitzvah curriculum. We encourage all families to continue their Jewish journey within the community, both in the run up to and post Bar/Bat Mitzvah. We provide a very supportive environment for further engagement and are happy to help family members with their personal learning path. Your child will begin to attend HaDerech every Wednesday during term time approximately 6 terms before their Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Entry is staggered according to their birthdays in September, January and April. Families often wish to book a room in the Synagogue to hold a Friday night dinner/shabbat lunch or even their party ( If this is something that interests you please contact our hall hire coordinator Susie Weisberger (hallhire@nnls-masorti.org.uk), to discuss a booking. 3

4 TWELVE MONTHS BEFOREHAND There are also numerous options for your family to volunteer as part of our wider community e.g. joining the security rota, being a challah baker and/or deliverer, being part of the regular welcoming rota. If you would like to become involved in volunteering with NNLS, please contact Louise Froggett (community@nnls-masorti.org.uk). Boys and girls who are leyning (chanting from the Torah and/or reading Haftarah) need to engage a private bar/bat mitzvah tutor who will charge for their services (please discuss this with them direct). Here is our recommended list: o Norman Bar - normancbar1@gmail.com o Debbie Bloom - debeebee@hotmail.com o Samantha Cohen - samcohen27@gmail.com o Harold Elias - law@elias.myzen.co.uk o Michael Gluckman - michael@gluckman.co.uk o Rivka Gottlieb - events@nnls-masorti.org.uk o Michael Mocatta - mmocatta@gmail.com (teaches Sefardi notes) o Rabbi Lee Wax - leewaxlauner@gmail.com o Atira Winchester - atiraw@gmail.com o Anton Winston - antonjwinston@gmail.com o Rina Wolfson - rinawolfson@gmail.com Girls celebrating in the traditional service may need 2-3 lessons with Hannah Simons in the run up to their Bat Mitzvah and Hannah will be in contact with you to arrange this. If you would like any extra private (chargeable) lessons earlier on please contact Hannah directly Hannah_simons@hotmail.com to discuss this. SIX TO NINE MONTHS BEFOREHAND Your child will be appointed a mentor at HaDerech to help them with the prayers they will be saying during their Bar/Bat Mitzvah. All children will learn the following with their mentor: o o Chanting the first paragraph of the Shema Reciting Kiddush both Friday night and Shabbat morning Children who are leyning and doing the Haftorah (all boys and egalitarian girls) will learn the brachot around the Torah and Haftarah. Girls in the Traditional service will learn the following: o o o o Ashrei Essa Einai Anim Zmirot Shecheyanu Your child will receive an individualised black learning book with all their requirements including a homework diary. Please ensure that they are practising regularly. If you are unsure of the tunes please check out the sound files on the website ( If your child has finished all their learning requirements, we encourage them to learn more sections of the service, e.g. Mussaf, Kabbalat Shabbat, Havdalah. 4

5 Your liaison will contact you approximately six months before your simcha date to arrange a meeting. If you have not heard from anyone by this point then please contact Alison Sieff (alison.sieff@btinternet.com). Approximately six months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, your child should begin to prepare their Dvar Torah (450 words maximum) which they will read out at the Kabbalat Shabbat service (Friday night) and again at the Shabbat service (Saturday morning or afternoon). Guidelines for this will be given to your child at HaDerech and are available from Niki Jackson. You will be invited to attend a parents Dvar Torah workshop to help support your child. FOUR MONTHS BEFOREHAND We encourage as many family members as possible to participate in the service. One way is for family members or friends to leyn some or all of the sedra (Torah portion) that is not taken up by the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Please discuss leyning with your liaison. Leyning rotas are finalised 2-3 months prior to your Bar or Bat Mitzvah date and your child s teacher should contact your liaison or the Synagogue to confirm exactly what your child (and family members/friends, if applicable) will be doing on the day. It is Synagogue policy that anyone who is going to leyn is listened to in advance. This will be arranged by the leyning coordinator for two to three weeks before the Simcha. As a Bat Mitzvah does not leyn in the Traditional service, the Haftarah is sometimes read by the Bat Mitzvah s father or another male relative at the family s request. Please let Alan Simons (see Appendix 1) know if a family member would like to do this. It is Synagogue policy that anyone who is doing a Haftarah is listened to in advance. Please advise your liaison and/or the Synagogue office of your attendance numbers (adults and children) as with large numbers of visitors it may be necessary to allocate a different prayer space or revise the Synagogue seating plan accordingly. EIGHT WEEKS BEFOREHAND You may be contacted to arrange a check-up rehearsal at the Synagogue during HaDerech with Rabbi Roni Tabick. Families generally mark their celebration by sponsoring the Kiddush for the congregation and their family/friends after the service (Please see Appendix 2 the Kiddush Request Form). You will receive notification from the Synagogue office of which service space your Simcha will take place within (approximately 8-12 weeks before your Simcha). SIX WEEKS BEFOREHAND Your child should complete their Dvar Torah (450 words maximum) and it to Niki Jackson (nikijackson@nnls-masorti.org.uk). A representative of the Rabbinic team reads through the Dvar Torah to check for accuracy. If we have two B nei Mitzvah on the same day we may ask people to amend their Dvar Torah to avoid repetition. In Haderech girls having a Bat Mitzvah in the Traditional service learn the prayers with the support of a mentor (a girl who has recently had her Bat Mitzvah) under the supervision of one of our teachers. However, we usually recommend that the girls need a small number of private tutorials in the run up to their Bat Mitzvah to ensure that they are word perfect, polished and confident. The number of lessons depends on the individual girl and your child s Haderech teacher will be in contact with you directly to arrange this. This is separate from the rehearsal which the girls will do, which will also be arranged with their teacher 1-2 weeks before. You will receive a letter from the Co-Chairs of the Synagogue regarding making a donation. 5

6 FOUR WEEKS BEFOREHAND Around four weeks before the date of your simcha, you will receive an Aliyot letter (regarding who you would like to honour with a call up to the Torah) from David Sieff (Traditional service) or Mark Collins (Hakol Olin service). In Assif, you will discuss this with your family liaison. Please contact the Synagogue office (education@nnls-masorti.org.uk) to arrange a time for a personal talk with one of our Rabbinic team. This provides an opportunity for the Rabbi to meet your family and talk personally with your child. It also gives you a chance to ask any questions you may have. A member of the services team will contact you to arrange a rehearsal with your child in the synagogue. Voice projection coaching services are offered by Brenda Bloch and Lizzy Marks (see Appendix 1 for their contact details). Please discuss this with them directly; the first session (which is all that may be required for your child) is free of charge. TWO WEEKS BEFOREHAND If you would like to buy trees to mark the occasion in Israel or in the Heartwood Forest near St Albans, then please contact Eric Weigert (see Appendix 1). A certificate is presented in Synagogue to the child on their Bar/Bat Mitzvah day. Please the Synagogue office your list of guests who are not already Synagogue members (again, both adults and children). A copy will be given to the outside gate staff for security reasons. Your list should be arranged alphabetically by surname. Please also return the Sweet Throwing Waiver (see Appendix 3) to the Synagogue office, if you choose to have sweets thrown during your child s Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. THE WEEK OF THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH We very much encourage attendance at the midweek Shacharit service in the week immediately before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Your liaison will discuss this with you. SHABBAT OF THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH You will need to attend the Kabbalat Shabbat service on the Friday night which begins at 6.30pm. Your child will read their Dvar Torah to the congregation and also recite Friday night Kiddush. On the Shabbat Morning, you will need to be in Synagogue for the beginning of Shacharit at 9.30am where your child will chant the Shema and then be guided by the Shammas/Gabbai when they will be called up during the service. POST-BAR AND BAT MITZVAH When a boy or girl becomes Bar or Bat Mitzvah this is a significant achievement. However as a synagogue we hope that the journey encourages you all as a family to become more engaged with the community. The Synagogue provides a number of formal and informal learning opportunities for teenagers including HaDerech, Noam and monthly sessions of Have I Got Jews for You / leadership opportunities. We run a monthly youth service for post-bnei Mitzvah teens on the first Shabbat of the month and you will be contacted by Jude Williams to ask if your child would like to play a part. We encourage young people to learn further portions from the Torah and also learn new Haftarot to read in services. We also encourage attendance at Shacharit to support the early morning minyan and mourners saying Kaddish. SUPPORT FOR YOUR FAMILY We will try to offer whatever support we can to help you prepare for your simcha. Please contact your liaison with any questions, concerns or requests that you may have. 6

7 ALIYOT, MITZVOT AND LEYNING The Synagogue is delighted to be able to offer a number of Aliyot and Mitzvot on the Shabbat of your child s Bar or Bat Mitzvah as it is our pleasure to honour family and friends at your simcha. The Synagogue does, however, have obligations to offer Aliyot and Mitzvot to other members of the congregation (for example, members marking a Yahrzeit or couples about to get married) which means that sometimes there can be limitations on what we can offer your family. There are also differences in the conduct of services between our Traditional service, Hakol Olin service and Assif service outlined below. As there can be limitations, we encourage family members to consider learning some of the leyning themselves and to leyn instead of having an Aliyah. We are always very happy to help anyone who wishes to learn leyning. Please note, in our Traditional service only men leyn from the Torah whereas in the Hakol Olin and Assif service both men and women leyn. Any leyning by family members does not reduce the number of Aliyot or Mitzvot we may be able to offer the family. It is important to inform your liaison and advise the relevant person in your chosen service (see Appendix 1 for contact names) several months in advance of your simcha if your child or a family member/friend plans to do any additional leyning. Aliyot are also governed by certain rules; for example a father and son or two brothers cannot be called up one after the other. These rules apply to all services. They do not apply to leyning (e.g. a father can be called up immediately after his son has leyned). When the family of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah are Cohanim or Levi im we can arrange an additional eighth Aliyah called an Acharon (meaning last ) to allow more family members to receive Aliyot and Mitzvot. You will receive a letter regarding Aliyot and Mitzvot at least one month before your simcha date and would ask that you reply immediately in writing giving names/hebrew names of the people you would like to receive Aliyot and Mitzvot and we will do our best to accommodate your requests. In Assif, you will be able to coordinate this with your family liaison. BAR MITZVAH IN THE TRADITIONAL SERVICE SHACHARIT (SHABBAT MORNING) Generally the Bar Mitzvah leyns the Maftir and then recites the Haftarah. If a Bar Mitzvah is able to learn more leyning then we welcome it. Your son s private tutor will be able to advise you about this. There are usually seven Aliyot on a Shabbat and we generally offer the Bar Mitzvah family the following: Either Cohen or Levi (if a family member or friend is a Cohen or a Levi). Up to three additional Aliyot. We also offer the family the following Mitzvot: Gelilah (dressing the Torah) and/or Petichah (opening and closing the Ark during the Torah Service). ROSH CHODESH PRAYER (FOR THE NEW MOON) In the Traditional service when your Bar or Bat Mitzvah falls on the Shabbat immediately prior to Rosh Chodesh (you will be notified of this well in advance by the Shammas when you receive your Aliyot form), the mother of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah will be given the opportunity to read the prayer for the New Moon (in English) from the bimah. May it be Your Will, Lord our God and God of our fathers, to renew for us this coming month for good and blessing. Grant us long life, a life of peace, a life of goodness, a life of blessing, a life of sustenance, a life of physical health, a life marked by reverence for heaven and dread of sin, a life without shame or disgrace, a life of wealth and honour, a life in which we have love for the Torah and reverence for heaven, a life in which our heart s desires are fulfilled for good. Amen, Selah. 7

8 BAT MITZVAH IN THE TRADITIONAL SERVICE SHACHARIT (SHABBAT MORNING) The Bat Mitzvah sings Essa Einai and Ashrei as part of the Shacharit morning service. As a Bat Mitzvah does not leyn in the Traditional service, the Haftarah is often sung by the Bat Mitzvah s father or by another male relative at the family s request. The person reciting the Haftarah is called up for Maftir but does not need to leyn this unless they wish to. A member of the community will be allocated to recite the Haftarah if no family member wishes to do so. There are usually seven Aliyot on a Shabbat. We generally offer the Bat Mitzvah family the following: Either Cohen or Levi (if a family member or friend is a Cohen or a Levi). Up to three additional Aliyot. We also offer the family the following Mitzvot: Gelilah (dressing the Torah) and/or Petichah (opening and closing the Ark during the Torah Service). BAR OR BAT MITZVAH IN THE HAKOL OLIN OR ASSIF SERVICE SHACHARIT (SHABBAT MORNING) Generally the Bar or Bat Mitzvah leyns the Maftir and then recites the Haftarah. If a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is able to learn more leyning then we welcome it. Your son or daughter s personal teacher should be able to advise you about this but please remember to advise the relevant person who looks after the leyning rota in your chosen service (see Appendix 1 for contact names) several months in advance of your simcha date. If your son or daughter would like their Bar or Bat Mitzvah in the Assif service, we would hope and expect their continued involvement on our leyning and davening rota in the future. There are usually seven Aliyot on a Shabbat. We generally offer the Bar or Bat Mitzvah family the following: Either Cohen or Levi (if a family member or friend is a Cohen or a Levi). Three additional Aliyot (in addition to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah). We also offer the family the following Mitzvot: Gelilah (dressing the Torah) and/or Petichah (opening and closing the Ark during the Torah Service). Prayer for the Community (in English). Prayer for the State of Israel (person must be fluent in Ivrit). Adon Olam (sometimes a younger sibling). In some services parents choose to recite a personal blessing (in English) to their son or daughter to mark the occasion. Your family liaison can advise you on suitable texts to choose from or assist in the writing of your own blessing. 8

9 If your family and friends have not been called to the Torah for some time, here is a guide: When you are called up, the person leyning will point to the place in the Torah where your portion begins. Using a corner of your tallit, touch the words then kiss the tallit. In Hakol Olin or Assif where a woman is called to the Torah, she may use a siddur or a tallit to touch the words in the Torah then kiss the siddur/tallit. Recite the bracha over the closed Sefer Torah before the portion is read the bracha will be on a card next to you. After saying the bracha, and during the whole leyning of this section, the Aliyah should hold the handle of the right-hand etz (Torah scroll). At the end of the Torah reading, touch the Torah where the Parsha ends (the reader will point to this for you) with the edge of your siddur/tallit then kiss the siddur/tallit; close the Torah and read the second bracha. When the next person is called up, move around the bimah and stand where indicated, then wait until the next Parsha is complete before going back to your seat. If you would like a quick rehearsal please ask your liaison to arrange an informal run-through after a Shabbat service a few weeks before the simcha date. 9

10 VENUE ALLOCATION NNLS has three rooms where services take place within the building. When allocating an appropriate space for your simcha, the Synagogue leadership will endeavour to make the most sensitive decision possible in the circumstances, taking all factors into account including the size of your simcha and other events which may be taking place in the Synagogue at the same time. The Synagogue will confirm which space has been allocated for your simcha within 12 weeks of your date, however should your expected guest numbers have increased significantly form the amount previously estimated, a room outside of the synagogue building may need to be allocated in order to accommodate your simcha. KIDDUSH We have a rota for Shabbat morning services where members of the Synagogue prepare your Kiddush for you. It would be lovely if you could pop into the kitchen and thank them. Please also note that you will be expected to take your turn on the rota on another occasion. The options available to you for your Kiddush and a guide on likely costs is outlined in Appendix 2. Please note that the pricing structure will change from time to time as supplier costs change and the prices outlined in Appendix 2 may not be the prices you will pay when you arrange your Kiddush. TREES A number of families choose to mark the occasion of their child s Bar or Bat Mitzvah by donating trees. NNLS offers two choices for tree planting to enhance the environment: Trees in Israel We are now currently working directly with Kibbutz Neot Semadar, a kibbutz in the Negev about 40km north of Eilat. They have developed creative thinking to challenge the difficulties of planting in an extremely arid region. They have a programme of tree planting that we are supporting. Trees cost 5.00 each with a minimum purchase of 5 trees. An attractive certificate designed by artists on the kibbutz will be presented together with a frame. The wording of the certificate can be phrased as required. Trees in the UK We have been working with the Woodland Trust who have a programme of tree planting across the UK. The latest project was to plant trees in the Heartwood Forest near St Albans. The minimum purchase is 50. A frame is provided with the certificate. Contributions towards either forest make a worthwhile gift and the certificate to mark the donation will be presented at the end of the service. Please contact Eric Weigert via (weigert@btinternet.com) or by phone ( ) to arrange your purchase. Two weeks notice is usually sufficient to make the arrangements. 10

11 ETIQUETTE AND DECORUM We receive numerous questions about etiquette in the Synagogue and have therefore put together some guidance notes to assist you. We will provide whatever assistance we can and if you have any further questions please contact your liaison. If you have any questions during your visit to the Synagogue please ask the greeters at the entrance to the service, or any of our members, and we sincerely hope you enjoy the service. Getting to the Synagogue We encourage our members and guests to walk to the Synagogue on Shabbat. If you or your guests are driving then we ask you to park with the utmost consideration for our neighbours. It is unfair to them and extremely embarrassing for us when people park illegally or across driveways. As we are in a busy residential neighbourhood, please expect to park a few streets away and walk the rest of the way to the Synagogue. Security Regrettably we have to be conscious of security which means you may be questioned at the entrance gate to our site and we will have to ensure that your guests names are on the list you have sent us. It may also mean that we have to search any bags you bring. Please do not leave anything, even a handbag, unattended anywhere on the site. Guests always add to the feeling of joy and occasion. However, we ask that your guests kindly do not bring presents into the Synagogue on Shabbat. Mobile Phones and Cameras Please also advise your guests not to bring mobile phones or cameras. We are a traditional community and do not permit their use in any service or in the grounds on Shabbat. Smoking No smoking is permitted anywhere in the grounds or in any of the buildings on the site. Children We welcome children to our community. If you and your guests do bring children please ensure they are supervised at all times, particularly during the sermon and at times of silent prayer. If children go to a children s service (which start at approximately 11.15am announced during the service) then please ensure they rejoin you when it is over. Many friends of the Bnei Mitzvah come to our synagogue unaccompanied these days and we would ask you to encourage your children s friends to act in an appropriate manner that honours our community and your family. We share a large and beautiful site with extensive grounds and it is not safe to let small children run around, nor is it fair to others to allow older children to run around unsupervised. If you want your children to be outside then please enjoy the grounds with them. If your child becomes restless or noisy during the service we would appreciate you taking them out for a short break. In the Traditional service men and women sit separately, but children may sit on either side of the Synagogue. Families may sit together in the Hakol Olin and Assif services. Children s books are provided in all prayer rooms please ask the greeter where these are located. Dress Code There is no formal dress code for Synagogue attendance but the custom is to dress modestly and respectfully. Men must cover their heads in the service. We have spare kippot (head coverings) available; please ask the greeter who will be positioned at the entrance to the service. Women may wear a hat or head scarf if they wish, but most do not. 11

12 Sweets We understand that everyone wishes to enjoy their simcha and that throwing sweets may be part of the demonstration of that joy. Although the Synagogue permits sweet throwing, we do not actively encourage the same for various reasons including on the grounds of health and safety. Nevertheless, if you do wish to throw sweets at your simcha, the Synagogue does require you to provide a written confirmation to protect the Synagogue from any claims in the event of damage or injury to any person or object as a result of the throwing of sweets. We would request that a completed and signed waiver (Appendix 3) is provided to the Synagogue office at least seven days in advance of your simcha. In the event that you do decide to throw sweets, but have not provided the waiver, the Synagogue will deem that you have accepted all of the terms of the waiver and they will be treated as binding on you. You should provide two bags of Kosher, soft and wrapped sweets before Kabbalat Shabbat on the Friday evening. The bags should be labelled with your child s name and the service you are attending (e.g. John Smith Assif morning 1 st January 2018). The sweets will be distributed by your chosen representative at the appropriate time during the service ready for throwing, which will generally be as follows: Assif - immediately after the Haftarah closing blessings (sweets should be handed round as soon as these closing blessings begin) Hakol Olin - immediately after the Haftarah closing blessings (sweets should be handed round as soon as these closing blessings begin) Traditional - immediately after Adon Olam (i.e.at the very end of the service so sweets should be handed round as soon as Adon Olam begins) Service Decorum We try to keep our services as informal as we can within the limits of attentiveness and reasonable decorum. Please try particularly to refrain from walking through the Synagogue when the congregation is standing or praying in silence, and from talking at any time during the whole reading of the Torah and Haftarah. For your Bar or Bat Mitzvah, the front row of seats closest to the bimah and facing the Ark are always informally reserved for you and your close family members the Shammas will assist you with this. A booklet explaining the key points of the service is available at the entrance to each service. Our prayers are mainly in Hebrew so you or your guests may find the booklet helpful. Please ask the Synagogue office in advance of your simcha for your required number of copies to be available. The Shabbat morning service usually starts at 9.30am and lasts approximately two and a half to three hours. There are preliminary prayers up to approximately 10.00am and many people choose to arrive after this time. Guests who are unfamiliar with Synagogue services should arrive between 10.00am and 10.15am. Many guests want to greet the host family and although we like to keep the atmosphere relaxed and informal, please be discreet about this. Frequent comings and goings, particularly around the front seats, creates a distraction and disrupts the atmosphere of the services. Please keep hugs and kisses until after the service has ended! Finally, we know that family and friends are often tempted to clap in appreciation of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child s efforts whether that be after the deliver their Dvar Torah or after they leyn or lead any other part of the service. However, this is not our practice and, rather, we encourage the congregation to congratulate them by collectively calling out shekoyach (loosely translated as all strength to you, or privately at the end of the service. 12

13 FAMILY LEARNING JOURNEYS A Bar or Bat Mitzvah, for most families, is a milestone in our Jewish lifecycle. The anticipation, the preparation, the expectations and sometimes the inevitable stress are common factors associated with Bar or Bat Mitzvah preparation. The responsibility for learning can often land solely on the B nei Mitzvah students. Here at NNLS we want to challenge that limitation. We would like this important milestone to become even more significant, not just for the B nei Mitzvah but for the whole family. We invite you to consider participating in a family learning journey, the subject matter and contents of which would be chosen by you to suit your family. In this way the family would come together with a shared purpose, celebrating not only the day but engaging in joint learning and activity that will serve as a crucial part of the process of deepening our engagement with Judaism. As a family you can choose the direction and we can work with you to consider what will be the most rewarding for you all in the long run. Is there an area of Judaism that you would like to study in more depth because it is pertinent to you and your family? Do you feel that you would like to gain greater confidence and familiarity in participating in synagogue services? Is there a learning project that you as a family would like to engage in e.g. finding out about history of family members or their lives in another country? Would you consider taking on a social action or charitable journey where as a family you can strengthen your connection to each other and to others? Is there a topic, such as the environment, for example, which you would like to study through Jewish texts and contemporary views? The process will be defined by your family in consultation with Niki Jackson, our Director of Education, who will facilitate the journey together with others in our community. There will be convivial opportunities for B nei Mitzvah families to share their learning experiences with others who are following similar paths if you wish. On the one hand the vision is to make the opportunities for learning and exploration as varied as possible to suit different needs and interests. On the other hand, we hope that it will deepen our engagement as a community with Jewish history, source texts, values and life. FAMILY SHIUR We are now able to pair up families with someone from the NNLS community who will give them a private shiur (a short informal lesson/discussion lasting approximately 45 minutes to an hour) to look at the themes of the sedra on the day of their Bar or Bat Mitzvah. At least one parent or grandparent should attend with the Bar or Bat Mitzvah which will assist with background information when their child is ready to start writing their Dvar Torah. 13

14 TWINNING/TZEDAKAH AND TIKUN OLAM PROJECTS Families often ask what they can do to mark the Bar/Bat Mitzvah in a memorable and meaningful way that supports others. In the fifth term of the Haderech programme the students meet with representatives from different organisations who share with them ideas of how they can support, either practically by volunteering or by twinning their Bar/Bat Mitzvah with someone else. Here is a small selection of ideas but this is by no means exhaustive and often the most meaningful projects emerge when families choose a project that is close to their heart. Ethiopian Israeli Bar/Bat Mitzvah Twinning Programme Individuals raise money to sponsor a member of the Ethiopian Israeli community to celebrate their Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The Ethiopian Israeli child and their parents are given a series of sessions to support them to mark to the event. The British child is encouraged to raise money for Tzedakah and attend sessions to learn more about the Ethiopian community. There is an opportunity to travel to Israel to be part of the final celebrations. Melanie Kelly (UJIA) extension IDF Widows & Orphans Organisation The charity takes care of the needs of over 8,000 widows and orphans of the IDF and Israel s security forces fallen heroes. This charity provides programmes designed to support widows and orphans through their grieving process, and throughout their lives, offering emotional support, financial aid and educational and social welfare programmes. You can create your own fundraising campaign: and research about the State of Israel and the IDF widows and orphans. We can also twin a BM child with an orphan who we feel will get along well together. We then connect the parents who choose how to begin contact (via phone or Skype) and then the children begin to build a relationship. Dana Peer dana@idfwo.org http Israel Guide Dog Center for the Blind The Israeli Guide Dog Association improves the quality of life for blind people by providing them with safe mobility, independence and self-confidence through the faithful assistance of guide dogs. As part of your Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparations you can sponsor a guide dog. The cost is 750 and includes all the costs of raising the pup during its first year. The funds could be raised by garage sales, babysitting, gifts from friends and relatives who may be invited to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah or other creative ways. Martin Segal martin@bfigdcb.org Jewish Child s Day You can twin your Bar/Bat Mitzvah with children living in Belarus or children from disadvantaged backgrounds or with special educational needs in Israel. Through skype, and phone calls you are able to get to know children in different contexts. There is even a chance to visit them. Nicole Gordon nicole.gordon@jcd.uk.com 14

15 Kisharon Volunteering with children with Special Educational Needs Kisharon works with people with learning difficulties and their mission is to support each person so that they can progress, achieve independence, enjoy life and be included in the communities in which we live through meaningful vocation and a fulfilling social life. The i-connect programme is an exciting and meaningful way to mark your Bar/Bat Mitzvah year. The programme is designed to encourage mainstream students to think about their situation, meet others who are different to themselves and, despite these differences, to find ways of communicating. Lara Domjan volunteer@kisharon.org.uk Leket Israel Supporting Leket is Israel s largest food bank and food rescue network actively working to alleviate the problem of nutritional insecurity among Israel's diverse population. You can support them in numerous ways by visiting Israel and volunteering in their warehouses or fields. You can also fundraise for them. Paul Leiba Mobile: paul@leket.org Make a Wish Foundation Make a Wish Israel grants wishes to children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy. Wish children can dream to be to have to meet to go Among the wishes that have been granted are to meet lady Gaga, go to Disney World, to have a puppy, to be a princess for a day. Keren Kalif keren.makeawish@gmai.com Masorti Special Needs Project The Masorti Movement s Bar and Bat Mitzvah Programme for Children with Disabilities is Israel s only national programme providing Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation and Jewish enrichment for children with disabilities. Sponsor one child for 700. Designate a portion of your own Bar/Bat Mitzvah gifts to the programme or ask your own guests to make contributions in your honour. Raise money through Mitzvah Fairs and/or individual endeavours, such as babysitting or mowing lawns. Organise a group activity that requires sponsors, e.g. soccer ball kick-a-thon, lap swim, hoops contest, distance run or read-a-thon. Shueli Fast shueli.fast@gmail.com Meketa Meketa is a charity for Ethiopian Jews who have remained in Ethiopia. You can sponsor a family in Gondar with a child of a similar age or you can buy Kippot made in Gondar for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Sybil Sheridan meketafunding@gmail.com Myisrael Myisrael supports 16 under-the-radar charities in Israel which are making an extraordinary difference to the lives of people in desperate need. They are making an extraordinary difference to the lives of people in desperate need. Your child can choose which charity to support and 100% of the funds they raise will go directly to those who need it most. From a therapeutic riding school to a homeless shelter for teenagers to a music school for gifted kids, there is something for everyone. Helen Carmel (Community Outreach Coordinator) helen.myisrael@gmai.com 15

16 NNLS Challah project Every week we have a team of volunteers who make and deliver challot to members of the community who have experienced a bereavement, are unwell or have an upcoming yahrzeit. We also deliver to those who ve recently had a baby, got engaged or are celebrating a simcha. If you are interested in volunteering it involves making the dough on a Wednesday evening, baking the challot on a Thursday evening or delivering freshly baked challot on a Friday morning. challahproject@nnls-masorti.org.uk NNLS Drop In Centre for Asylum Seekers The Drop In supports up to 400 destitute asylum seekers and their children and is held on the first Sunday of each month at premises near to the Synagogue. Our volunteers offer legal signposting, appointments with doctors and therapists, nutritious cooked food, nearly-new or new clothing and footwear and a welcoming, warm and friendly space. Every client also receives a supermarket voucher and travel expenses. You can cook food, come and help sort clothes and, if you are years old, you can come and help with a parent at the drop in on the first Sunday of the month at Martin School, Plane Tree Walk, East Finchley N2 9JP. dropin@nnls-masorti.org.uk World Jewish Relief WJR is the UK s Jewish community s response to disasters affecting people around the world. They tackle Jewish poverty primarily in the former Soviet Union but also respond to international disasters such as floods and earthquakes. Sam Schryer sams@worldjewishrelief.org Yad Vashem As part of your Bar/Bat Mitzvah you have the opportunity to learn about the life of a young victim of the Holocaust who was unable to celebrate this milestone in Jewish life. You will be able to: Research details of the family of your victim using the Yad Vashem Website. Research the community they came from via the website. Learn about their experiences during the Holocaust. Receive a special certificate from Yad Vashem in Jerusalem. office@yadvashem.org.uk There are also numerous options for your family to volunteer as part of our wider community e.g. joining the security rota, being a challah baker and/or deliverer, being part of the regular welcoming rota. If you would like to become involved in volunteering with NNLS, please contact Louise Froggett (community@nnlsmasorti.org.uk). 16

17 OTHER MATTERS Catering and Kashrut at your party venue The Masorti Bet Din offers kosher supervision of caterers. They work with a wide range of caterers, including those who do not usually work in the kosher market. If you are interested and would like more information, please contact Rabbi Chaim Weiner directly ( weiner@masorti.org.uk or phone: ). The Omer and Tisha B Av The Omer: According to the Torah we are obligated to count the days from Passover to Shavuot. This period is known as the Counting of the Omer. The period falls in April or May and seven weeks are counted from the second day of Passover. Live music is inappropriate during the Omer prior to Lag B Omer (the 33rd day), and you should consult the Rabbi for more information. If your simcha does fall during this period it will be mentioned in the letter you are sent with the confirmation of your date. Tisha B Av: This is a day of mourning to commemorate many tragedies that have befallen the Jewish people, some of which coincidentally have occurred on 9th Av. This falls in July or August and is acknowledged for the three weeks prior to 9th Av. Live music is inappropriate during this three-week period so please consult the Rabbi for more information. Our correspondence confirming your dates will refer to this period should it apply to you. Donations and Gifts A Bar and Bat Mitzvah is a special occasion for your family and the whole community. We will do our best to give support to you in every way during the preparation and on the day. To do this we depend on the goodwill and generosity of many volunteers and members of the Synagogue. The Synagogue depends on such generosity in order to develop its services and a simcha is a special time to give a gift. You will receive a letter from the Joint Chairs of the Synagogue where it is suggested that about 5% of the total cost of your simcha is an appropriate donation to make, together with a form that sets out various areas of Shul activity that your donation might be put towards. Should you wish to discuss this in more detail, you can do so with your liaison, with one of the Joint Chairs or with our Executive Director (execdirector@nnls-masorti.org.uk). Sponsor a Day As part of your donation, you could choose to sponsor the day of your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah. To book your chosen day contact Frances Bloom (see Appendix 1) as soon as possible as the Synagogue only allows one sponsor for each day. Disability Our building has full facilities for disabled visitors to the Synagogue. There is a loop system in the Beit Knesset and the Beit Tefillah, a Shabbat lift and three disabled WCs within the building. Should you require any further assistance please contact the Synagogue office to discuss this. Nappy Changing Facilities are available in the disabled WC on the ground floor of the building in the Gan Alon/Beit Midrash corridor. Please ask one of the greeters to direct you to these facilities. WE WISH YOU AND ALL YOUR FAMILY A HEARTY MAZEL TOV! 17

18 New North London Synagogue Synagogue Office Aliyot Traditional Service Aliyot Hakol Olin Service Assif (initial contact) Chair B nei Mitzvah Liaison Director of Education Education Administrator Hall Hire Haftarah Hakol Olin Haftarah Traditional Kiddush Leyning Hakol Olin Leyning Traditional APPENDIX 1 LIST OF CONTACTS The Manor House 80 East End Road Finchley N3 2SY Ros Hart office@nnls-masorti.org.uk David Sieff david.sieff@btinternet.com Mark Collins markhenrycollins@gmail.com Nicki Tiefenbrun nicki.tiefenbrun@gmail.com Alison Sieff alison.sieff@btinternet.com Niki Jackson nikijackson@nnls-masorti.org.uk Ruth Elias-Jones education@nnls-masorti.org.uk Susie Weisberger hallhire@nnls-masorti.org.uk Judith Bernstein judith.bernstein@btinternet.com Alan Simons alansimons1@gmail.com Ros Hart office@nnls-masorti.org.uk Debbie Bloom debeebee@hotmail.com David Caplan david.caplan.dc@gmail.com Midweek Shacharit Egalitarian Midweek Shacharit Traditional Practise in Synagogue Andrew Jacobs andrew.jacobs@seddons.co.uk Alan Simons alansimons1@gmail.com Ronnie Cohen rcohen9199@aol.com Rabbi Jonathan Wittenberg rabbi@nnls-masorti.org.uk Sponsor a Day Trees Voice Projection Coaching Voice Projection Coaching Volunteering at NNLS Frances Bloom francesbloom2004@yahoo.com Eric Weigert weigert@btinternet.com Brenda Bloch skillswithpeople@aol.com Lizzy Marks lizzy.marks@gmail.com Louise Froggett community@nnls-masorti.org.uk

19 APPENDIX 2 KIDDUSH REQUEST FORM Name of Family: Date of Kiddush: Service: Assif / Hakol Olin / Traditional Expected number of guests who do not usually attend this service: Families can choose one of the 3 Kiddush options by ticking one of A, B or C below, and whether to have fruit platters in addition; we decide the number of tables you require based on a combination of your guest numbers and numbers of non-guest community members. The minimum likely number of tables will be 3 and the maximum will be 7. Please note that the pricing structure will change from time to time as supplier costs change and the prices outlined below may not be the prices you will pay when you arrange your Kiddush. Kiddush Option A: voluntary donation 40 per table To include cakes, biscuits, crisps, pickles, soft drinks, wine, whisky Kiddush Option B: voluntary donation 60 per table To include fish balls, herring, dips with crackers, sliced cake and biscuits, grapes, pickles, crisps, soft drinks, wine, whisky Kiddush Option C: voluntary donation 80 per table To include pastries, grapes, pickles and crisps, larger quantity of fish balls, herring, dips with crackers, soft drinks, wine, whisky Optional fruit platters (one per table) are available at an additional donation of 15 per table Please tick your preferred option and return this form to the Synagogue office: NNLS, 80 East End Road, London N3 2SY Tel: office@nnls-masorti.org.uk Suggested wording for weeksheet: Kindly sponsored by:.... I/we confirm our intention to make a voluntary donation of the above amount at least one week prior to the simcha. Signed:

20 APPENDIX 3 SWEET THROWING WAIVER To: Child s Name: Date of Bar/Bat Mitzvah: New North London Synagogue (Insert name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah) (Insert date of simcha) I/We have decided to throw sweets at our celebration in the Synagogue. I/We understand that the Synagogue does not encourage the throwing of sweets on the grounds of, amongst other matters, health and safety. Nevertheless we accept and shall indemnify and keep indemnified the Synagogue and its officers from and against any loss or liability incurred by the Synagogue or its officers in respect of any and all damage caused by the throwing of sweets at our celebration, whether to an individual or the property itself. I/We acknowledge that the indemnity above is in addition to any other rights of indemnity or otherwise to which the Synagogue or its officers are entitled by law or otherwise. I/We understand the above and have had the opportunity to discuss its terms. Parent(s) signature(s) Print name Parent(s) signature(s) Print name Date 20

21 GLOSSARY 1. Acharon Calling up of an extra person to the Reading of the Torah, near the end of the Sedra. 2. Aliyot From Hebrew Aliyah, meaning ascent, going up to the Torah to read the blessings for one of the callups. 3. Assembly of Masorti Synagogues (AMS) The umbrella body which promotes the principles of Masorti Judaism and acts as an information and coordination centre for all our communities. 4. Assif We are an egalitarian Masorti minyan, following a traditional service using the Singers Siddur. Our service aims to be traditional, egalitarian, participative, educational and spiritual. 5. Bimah The raised platform or table from which the service is conducted. 6. Davening Leading the prayers within the service. 7. Dvar Torah A short discourse on the Torah portion. The Bar or Bat Mitzvah prepares a commentary of about 450 words linked to their particular Torah portion or Haftarah, to read out in Synagogue both on the Friday night and Shabbat morning. 8. Gabbai The organiser of the service including aliyot, mitzvot, etc 9. Gelilah Literally rolling, this means closing the Torah scroll and covering it with the mantle and silverware after it has been read. 10. HaDerech Our integrated four-year programme for B nei Mitzvah and beyond. Aimed at children in Year 5/Year 6 (10/11 year olds) to Year 9 (13/14 year olds). Held on Wednesday evenings during term time. 11. Haftarah A reading from the Prophets, read just after the Torah portion on Shabbat. 12. Hagbah Lifting and displaying the Torah after it has been read. 13. Hakol Olin Our Traditional Egalitarian service held every Shabbat morning. 14. Kabbalat Shabbat The Friday night service. 15. Kiddush The blessing over wine, sanctifying the Shabbat or a holiday. 16. Kaddish The prayers said by mourners. 17. Leyning Reading/chanting from the Torah. 18. Minchah The afternoon service. 19. Noam Youth Movement of the Assembly of Masorti Synagogues, for 9-18 year olds. 20. Omer Counting of the seven weeks between Passover and Shavuot. 21. Parsha A section of the Torah read on any particular day. 22. Shacharit The morning service held on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday mornings. 23. Sedra The whole Torah portion to be read on a particular date. 24. Shammas The organiser of the service including aliyot, mitzvot, etc. 25. Shiur A discussion about a particular Torah reading (sedra). 26. Simcha Meaning happiness or joy. Refers to the whole B nei Mitzvah celebration. 27. Tisha B Av The 9th of Av is a day of mourning commemorating many tragedies that have befallen the Jewish people starting with the destruction of the First Temple which happened on this day. The 9th of Av usually falls in July/August. 21