5-6- Narcissus Dead, possible suicide by Sadie Beaumont Could this Be the End of Zeus and Hera? by Lyla Hanks

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2 Table of contents 3. Trojan's game outcome after earthquake by Alex Fry 4-5. Who doesn't adore Aphrodite (cont.) by Cecelia Braun 5-6- Narcissus Dead, possible suicide by Sadie Beaumont Narcissus, final interview(cont.) by Sadie Beaumont Could this Be the End of Zeus and Hera? by Lyla Hanks Trouble in Paradise by Camille Lyter Eternal Perfume Emmi Ayers Hestia, hard to get? Or NOT INTERESTED AT ALL?! by Elysia Hall Who wouldn't want to be Zeus? by Nicole Raventos 'Medusa gets wrecked by Athena by America Aubrey Dionysus wait loss tricks by George Bole Dionysus's neglected childhood by Victoria Edwards 29- Apollo vs. Pan pie chart from Chris Holton Edited by Jackson Lelchuk and Christopher Agliozzo Published by Adam Aronesty, AA publishing, February 2, 2016

3 Trojans lose, earthquake erupts. This past week s NCAA college football displayed some interesting action, especially during the Stanford game. USC s veteran linebacker, Ares, charged at Stanford s legendary QB, Athena, who retaliated by throwing the ball at Ares -- knocking the 300lb linebacker unconscious. The star QB told DEEZ GODS It was just my reaction, My brother can take it, Athena added. Physically, Ares was able to take the blow: he has quickly recovered, and he will back on the field in no time; Ares trainer reported. However, Ares fans were let down at an outburst of sheer rage as he verbally disrespected Athena. Reactions to this act of poor sportsmanship were interrupted as an earthquake broke out which authorities are calling coincidental. Others believe Ares is very capable of an event such as this one. A fan said, In a way I am not shocked at all. He has a reputation for stunts 3

4 Is there Anyone who DOESN T Adore Aphrodite? On Sunday, November 29 in Greece, Aphrodite, the beautiful goddess of love herself, tells DeezGods Magazine about her little battle with Persephone, the daughter of Zeus and queen of the underworld, over Adonis, a beautiful young man. The two fought fiercely for who would end up with Adonis. Adonis was born and abandoned by his mother when he was just a baby. He was later picked up by Aphrodite who then kept him for a little while until she gave him to Persephone to handle. Everybody knows Aphrodite would want to snatch him back up soon and she did try to until Persephone refused. Aphrodite told DeezGods, I tried all that I c o u l d t o g e t A d o n i s b a c k, b u t Persephone was being a diva and said that there was no way she would give Adonis back to me. Shortly after Aphrodite was interviewed, so was Persephone. Persephone told DeezGods, I can t believe the selfish Aphrodite would try to take my baby away from me. She GAVE him to me! The two bickered for a while until eventually the two got tired of fighting. Aphrodite had people to make fall in love with her and she had no time to waste, considering the fact she loves the attention. Adonis also grew tired of hearing them constantly fight and pulling each other s hair out over who was keeping him. Adonis says, Aphrodite is quite a gem and I love spending time with her, but Persephone is also pretty cool. I hate to hear them fight though. It is sooo annoying. Aphrodite, not wanting anybody else s way, went to talk to Zeus and tried to make a little deal with him. She claimed Adonis likes her more and she wanted to have him live with her. But, because Persephone is his daughter, he wasn t going to let Aphrodite keep Adonis all to herself. Zeus, with that big head of his, finally came to making a final decision. He said that Aphrodite can be with Adonis for four months out of the twelve there are. However, he also said Persephone can be with him for four months too. The Here, Aphrodite is spotted in a beautiful garden with her beloved Adonis. 4

5 5 remaining four months, Zeus did Adonis a favor and let him be on his own for once. The time Adonis and Aphrodite spend together during the year are so fun and the best four months of the year. The other four Adonis is with Persephone aren t the coolest. Aphrodite says, Ugh. It s so unfair. I want Adonis to be with me for the whole year and no four stupid months! It goes by way too fast and I know he likes me better! Who doesn t like me most? In another interview, Adonis tells DeezGods, Okay, okay. I ll admit it. I do like Aphrodite better than Persephone. Persephone just isn t the same. She is way to strict and Aphrodite is chill. He then decided to spend all of his time with Aphrodite. He favors her over Persephone! The two are now together and so happy! She likes being with Adonis more than having men love her and man, that s quite a surprise!

6 6 Narcissus Dead, Possible Suicide? Yesterday evening, the 18- year old heartthrob Narcissus was found floating in a reflective pool in the woods out behind his hometown. He had presumably gone out to hunt after seeing suicidal admirer Ameinias dead on his doorstep, but were the 6-time Outstanding Olympus smile winner's bow, arrows, and hunting knives used for something far more sinister? Try the new Hercules Sandals! High performance! Low price! So you can rule like Hercules Deez Gods asked a local nymph, Echo, who is thought to have been present at the time of his death. DG: Narcissus killed himself, did he not? E: [shakes head] He not. Many believe that his self-admiration was the cause of his downfall, and an inside source revealed to Deez Gods that "Narcissus had never seen his reflection before, so seeing himself in that pool for the first time could have made something snap inside him." More time will be put to the investigation

7 7 of his death, but with limited witnesses, we might never know the real story. Narcissus will be dearly missed by his family, friends, and admirers, and everyone will miss his award winning smile. Deez Gods asked parents Cephissus and Liriope about Narcissus's private life, and Liriope confirmed that, "Narcissus was a good-hearted young man, but the hate he received was tremendous, and he was just so confused about everything and so lost...it seemed like people were cursing him for no reason. When he found a dead admirer of our doorstep yesterday morning, he said he was going out for a hunt but he never came back." Nymphs local to the pond Narcissus perished in insisted that they take charge of his burial. In his honor, they created a flower and named it after him. Deez Gods also asked close friend, Apollo, on his opinion. Apollo confirmed that Narcissus was "a good man, but he had a terrible prophecy and his predetermined fate was a terrible curse." More will be said about this case when further evidence is recovered. NARCISSUS'S SECRET TO BEAUTY In honor of the late 2-time Sexiest Myth Alive winner, Deez Gods is running a never-before seen interview of Narcissus and his secrets to physical perfection. Narcissus claims that selflove and self-confidence are the two most important components of beauty.

8 DG: Narcissus, you are an Olympian heartthrob. Olympus is dying to know, how do you always appear so beautiful?? NA: Well, I just always go out with a smile on my face. I don't know what I look like, so- NO NO DON'T SHOW ME A MIRROR I DON'T WANT TO SEE! DG: Sorry. So, since you can't exactly control your facial looks, what else do you do to improve your physical stature? NA: I do work out with weights once a day, and I usually go on a hunt with my buddies every other day. We run a lot during those, so it's a good work out, I guess. DG: Is there anything else, Narcissus? You have so many awards because of your looks. Surely there must be a secret? NA: I'm sorry, I don't really know why I look like I do. One thing I do practice is selflove. DG: (confused) What is that? NA: I don't know really. I just accept myself and tell myself that I need to love me for who I am. I don't listen to the hate from others, I just believe and trust in myself, and it works. I really do get confidence from that, and it makes me feel so much better. DG: I guess we could say that you are "narcissistic". NA: (laughs) Yes, I guess you could name that practice after me. But really, anyone who wants to be and feel beautiful, the most beautiful thing about a person is seeing that they accept who they are. Self acceptance. DG: Thank you Narcissus, that was an enlightening conversation. NA: Thank you, I hope I helped everyone out there. Oh, and a bit of hair gel, some concealer, and some blush always helps, too. 8

9 9 Get your very own Helm of Darkness! Sneak out under the cover of darkness...never get caught again! Easy storage AND fashionable! Comes in any color buyer requests. Is This The End for Zeus and Hera? After years of deceit and lies, Hera has finally come forward to Deez Gods exclusively to reveal all of the secrets and trickery her unfaithful husband has done. She s embarrassed to be his wife and she s finally fed up with him. Hera feels that the public deserves to know the truth about his forbidden affairs, one source claims. Zeus has been with more 15 women, cheating on Hera multiple times. Though the goddess of marriage and birth is no stranger to scandal. She has repeatedly attempted to destroy Zeus s lovers and their offspring. When she found out that Zeus had an affair with the mortal, Alcmene, and she bore his son, Hera did everything she possibly could to

10 10 terminate the unborn baby. She even sent down two enormous snakes to the bastard son, Heracles s crib to end his his life. Unfortunately, the odds were not in Hera s favor and the demigod rose to success and fortune. Though, Hera eventually paid the price as she later was punished by Zeus for her despicable actions against Heracles. Hera exclusively sat down with us to discuss her detrimental marriage and decided to finally reveal Zeus s many affairs, much to her embarrassment. I ve decided to finally tell the world the truth about Zeus and I s marriage. From the very start of our rocky marriage, I knew it would never work out between us. When he began to pursuit me, I spruned all of his romantic gestures. But, he just would not give up. I was eventually forced to marry him by shame He has cheated on me countless times and repeatedly embarrassed me. Zeus has cheated on me with both mortal women and nymphs. This included Europa, Io, Semele, Ganymede, Callisto, Dione, Persephone, Nemesis, Danae, and Metis. What really pushed me over the edge was his relationship with Io. Who knows? There may be a huge list of women that I don t know about. I just can t trust him anymore, Hera stated. In a fit of jealousy and rage, she cursed Io. From that point on, I knew our relationship was doomed, she claims. A source close to Hera and Zeus claims that, she s in a really tight position. As the protector of marriage, she feels too embarrassed to leave, but to hateful to stay with him. I almost feel bad for her. But Zeus has a different side to the story. She knew what she was getting into from the start. You can t blame me for being so handsome. The King of Gods feels as if it s Hera s own fault

11 11 Newlyweds, Psyche and Eros are struggling to re-patch their relationship after the devastating turn of events that unfolded last week. Psyche and her husband, Eros, the God of Love had a pretty heated argument and it resulted in Eros leaving. A reliable source told Deez Gods! exclusively that the two are taking a break until they can sort things out. After a visit from her older sisters, Dawn and Miracle, Psyche was an emotional train wreck! Dawn, 29, and Miracle, 34, became insanely jealous after they too rode the breeze of Zephyr and gazed upon the newly renovated 2.4- billion-dollar home of the God of Love. Upon seeing their increasingly beautiful and very happy sister, the two older sisters shrank with envy. They made up their minds to do everything in their power to take her down. Their younger sister, Psyche was and still is known for powerful mortal beauty. After Psyche was unsuccessful at finding a husband, for their countless fights and his everlasting affairs. It was rumored in the past that Hera and Zeus may break up, but the rumors may soon end. Trouble in Paradise? her parents sought out help from the oracle of Apollo. Fulfilling the prophecy, her parents left her on a rocky hill side to be claimed by her serpent husband. Psyche was then brought to the estate by the breeze of Zephyr to meet her husband. At the time, she didn t think it strange that she never saw her husband in the light, but only felt his presence and herd his voice. Her sisters saw this as an opportunity and convinced Psyche that her husband was a serpent and would Just last week, Deez Gods! caught the two gazing passionately into each other s eyes at Psyche s photoshoot for her new line of fall clothing, coming out in early December. eventually kill her out of pure cruelty. They told her the only way to kill her husband was put a dagger and a lamp next on her night stand and at night, quickly shine the light on his face and then kill him while he was sleeping.

12 12 Afraid for her life, Psyche took their advice and made plans to kill him. Later that night, she quietly walked to his bedside and, with trembling hands, quickly shone the light on his face. Instead of seeing a disgusting creature before her, she saw a young man with a hot bod sleeping! Out of relief, she fell to the floor, accidentally spilling hot oil from her lamp on his shoulder and waking him up. When he woke up, he saw that Psyche, his wife, had distrusted and betrayed him. He saw the dagger in Psyche s hand and immediately left. We don t blame him! Eros is currently staying with his mother, the beautiful Aphrodite, until the two can come to some sort of agreement. The question is, can the two work it out? Or do we see divorce on the horizon? Eros is known to have a wandering eye and a desire to being with beautiful women. There is no telling what he may do or who he may become in Psyche s absence. On the other hand, Psyche is in a state of remorse and self-directed hate after falling for her sisters lies. She loves her husband more than anything and wants him back. After Eros left her, she made a statement to Deez Gods! confessing her tragic mistake and promising to, find Aphrodite (her husband s mother) and do whatever it takes to win his (Eros s) trust and affection back. Talk about a devoted wife! This comment clearly demonstrates that Psyche has the will and drive to fix her marriage and take back her man. However, is there a way to do it? Is Eros willing to do the same, or is he ready to move on? Purchase the next issue of Deez Gods! to find out, available at your neighborhood newsstand.

13 Eternal Perfume This just in, the greek demigod, Psyche, has just released a new perfume line called: Eternal Slumber. It is supposedly named after the potion that Aphrodite gave Psyche, when Psyche was to proving her love and devotion for Cupid (Eros). The perfume allegedly smells like the enchanted forest that Psyche fell asleep in. For the readers that aren t too sure as to what Psyche and Cupid s story is, it is a very scandalous, yet adoring relationship, which involves action and hubries. The story takes place when Psyche was mortal! Shocking to hear for our God-like ears, but yes, she was once mortal. She was a daughter of 3 and the most beautiful, in fact, so beautiful that bachelors from everywhere would visit just to gaze upon her beauty. Sounds like a bunch of creeps, if you ask the Deez Godz writers and editors! The bachelors would compare Psyches appearance to the goddess of beauty herself and Aphrodite was not too fond of that. Aphrodite then sent her son, Cupid, to make the bachelors stop their gazing and make Psyche fall in love with the ugliest beast there is, with just the magic of his bow and arrow. That sounds like a punishment! Cupid, along his quest, shot himself with an arrow! Ouch! Cupid fell instantly in love with Psyche and took her to the top of a mountain, fearing Cupid s mother would see them. Love fools all! When Vintage Vineyards 13 Good for the mind, body, & Soul produce fit for the gods Located next to the temple of Zeus in Athens

14 14 Psyche awakens from her short sleep, she finds herself amongst a beautifully crafted house that is made from gold. Psyche is persuaded to enter the house, and, only to find that she cannot see the houses interior, nor her fiance. Sounds like tough love to me! Psyche is blinded, with love and infactuation, and just can t bear that she can t see her husband to be. She then flees to tell her sisters about her palace that she lives in and her husband that she can not see. Her sisters don t believe anything Psyche tells them and then informs Psyche that her husband could be a potentioaly dangerous person. Family arrogance! Psyche then attempt to look at her husband with a candle in one hand and a knife in the other, Psyche, amazed by his beauty, leans over and drips hot wax onto Cupid, making him run away in agonizing pain. Love is pain! Aphrodite, furious about the hurting of her beloved son, forbidds Psyche from ever seeing Cupid again. Psyche then perfoms a series of tasks that is to prove her devotion for Cupid. Her last task is to drink a sleeping potion and stay awake when drank. She then falls in to an Eternal Slumber. Cupid, healed from his burn, goes to wake up Psyche and removes the potion from Psyche and she wakes up. Hooray the mistress is saved! Cupid and Psyche get married and lived, Happily Ever After and have a kid named Pleasure. Psyches story, insipired the perfume line that will be in stores on, February 14!

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16 16 Hestia? Playing Hard to Get or Just NOT INTERESTED AT ALL?! Written by: Elysia Hall Hestia s beauty is beyond no others. Both Gods Poseidon and Apollo claimed, Her beauty is what first attracted me to her. The moment I saw her I knew I wanted her to be my wife, to take my hand in marriage. When the Gods popped The Big Question, of will you marry me? Her immediate response was, no said an anonymous watcher, tipping off our one and only magazine Deez Gods.

17 17 Did she really just turn down the great almighty Poseidon and the charming God Apollo? But wait, aren t they all related anyways? Is her beauty a spell or a curse? Or is it just simply an unwanted gift? She claims to have pride in saving her virtue. Also in remaining forever a virgin. She does not want or believe in falling in love her life is dedicated to the homes of her people. She is the Goddess of Hearth; she desires agriculture, baking, family, and kindness, but not love. Who is this mystery girl no one is good enough for? Who wouldn't want to be Zeus? With only two weeks away until the. Olympics, people from everywhere are preparing for the celebration of their gods. This national festival comes together every four years and will be held in Athens, Greece. All are welcome to watch athletes compete in honor of the gods, specifically Zeus. The But I guess nobody can touch her now! For she is in the protection of her brother, the almighty and powerful Zeus. She seaked out his protection the moment Apollo and Poseidon both sought her hand in marriage. What about that time our anonymous tipper told us about how they witnessed the time Priapus actually tried to rape Hestia just to take away her status as Goddess of Forever Lasting Virginity. Story is told that he creped into her room one night while she was asleep ad was about to rape her when a donkey began to bray very loudly. Therefore it awoke Hestia. Oh My God am I right? This situation is what caused the special emphasis on not taking If you were Cronos would you have eaten your children? 42% said yes 58% said no Would you have fallen in love with Pandora? 63% said yes 37% said no What would you want for your birthday? 79% said new chariot 3% said new sandals 19% said tickets to a Greek play

18 18 Olympic Games have recently been ranked one of the top five events you should attend and allows people a time to get together and pray for the god, Zeus, that started their mankind and show the strength and competitiveness he has rewarded us with. Although watching the athletes fight to the death is entertaining, most guests come to only worship their great leader. A fellow attendee of the games told Deez Gods, I enjoy the excitement that the games bring but that feeling doesn t come close to what I feel for Zeus. My family and I are very religious and plan to worship Zeus and everything he blessed us with at this event. This feeling is quite common in every Greek who steps in the stadium. Many statues, banners, songs, stories, and prayers of the gods are recited and valued at the Games, specifically Zeus. But in times, the praise of Zeus overpowers the contestants. Sources told Deez Gods of competing contestants who, feel as if they are getting no attention for the hard work they are putting in. There is not much to say for people who complain about the glory of their god and the massive amounts of followers Zeus possesses. Stories are recited of Zeus and other gods all throughout the game s 2 ½ week period. Many myths include the childhood of Zeus and of the resources he has given to his mankind. But one story is thoroughly explained every four years and that is of the heroic action

19 of saving his brothers and sisters, other known as gods and goddesses. Without his brave intentions, the world wouldn t be living or anything close to where it is now. And so Greeks are in constant reminder of this at the games and give anything they can to their great ruler. The sacrifices of animals are common. The festival of gods is religious and is filled with many competitions including running, wrestling, chariot races, and the gavel throw. The Olympics are also famously known for their amazing, yet bitter Greek salads. Filled with the olives made possible by Athena whose father is Zeus, feta cheese, tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, and a hint of olive oil, is a fan favorite to snack on. Whether you are visiting the golden statues of Zeus or enjoying some good old fashion competition, these salads are known to satisfy. The number one ranked restaurant, Greek 360, in Greece, have personally commented on the extraordinary flavors the salad maintains. The only way to try this meal is to come attend the games, which are coming up soon. Zeus is obviously the main attraction of these games, due to the fact that his existence created everything the world inquires. When showing the many forms of praising towards him at the games is not good enough, some guests decide to crank up the heat. In the previous week, a whole 19 WORD SEARCH FOR FUN HDHSJDBXUSKSBDJXJDNXKHODGODNDJ FJFNCJCIDNCJVKDNF BDJSIAOAKDBBXHISBDBXHXNXNXLHCJFJ FJFNCNCMBFISBCJD LOVEKDLSJDNFKCKSPNFNCKCNHYNNBBJ NBHEARTHBNNCJDN SJXNDKCSSPLANDISRJDNSRENKFLSJBSP HINXHDHDBCKSNFJC TBXNXNANSNCJCNFJXNCITIZENSHFKSND JDKHAVENXJNXKFJFJ RAFFAIRSJFBDHDIBDHDUFJFJFJWITHBBN CMANYNXNGODDESS ENDJSBSHDJDMYTHOLOGYHDJCJCBDBX BCHCHXBXHCJCJCNX NDJDKDBDJXKDBXKCNPEOPLEJDNCJARE NCJCKKCMFBORNJXI TBDJXNGOODNSJVJDNDKFNDHELPCNXJD ISBFJCJDHQTEJFNNC HKDNDBSKDBDJDHDBDBDHDHDBFJDNDJ XNDBXBZJDHCAREFUL JOURNEYNXJXBDICKSBDIFRIENDSJCBFJD JDJDNFJCNDKCJFCVB JSNDIDUSIFKFKDJSJDKLCNSKAPQPQNDN FODNCKCNVBXJNXNN BHXIDIRNNJSJXNDBIRDSBDHDBDJDNXBA JSKDBAFJKDKBADJFJF BDBDJSBDNDJSOAPQPDJDBFJCJDBXJFF KCPSMZNXMVKGPDCN BZJCKFNDIXNCJCKDMDNCKCNCNCKSNX KCLAPSPDKDNCJGOSL BABYNSJDNDKCKFNDLEMANJFJRPWPAN XANDKDBGLWOMAMJOGod Mythology words to find: Goddess Sphinx Olympian Strength Citizens Love Affairs Hearth people Journey Friends Good Bad Birds Baby Man Woman

20 20 neighborhood spent their week preparing for these games by staying at home and learning every story of Zeus and how he created the gods and goddesses that would eventually benefit the earth. It was reported that this neighborhood that took the extra time to focus on their ruler Zeus, experienced good karma. We all look forward to the Games and have our own unique ways of preparing for the celebration of the gods, goddesses, and Zeus. Deez Gods wishes you, Happy Celebrations. El Nino El Nino Hits California And Causes Major Issues Medusa gets wrecked by Athena One day Medusa went disguised to the beautiful goddess Athena. Athena was the goddess of crafts and war she also protected the City of Athens. Medusa seeked revenge on Athena so she did everything in her power to get her revenge she is not sure what to do. All of a sudden, Medusa had a light bulb idea to get her revenge on Medusa after all cursed

21 21 Athena her. The goddess Athena cursed her so that she had snakes for hair, and made her so ugly that anyone who stared at her turned into stone. So Medusa desired revenge on Athena. Medusa set out to get revenge on Athena so she decided to pay the goddess a visit that day.she finally arrived at Athena s palace and knocked on the door Knock,Knock one of Athena s servants opened the door and let Medusa in. The servant also not loyal to Medusa so she led Medusa to a room to put on the disguise before going to see the goddess. Her plan was to poison Athena with a fresh fruity drink she believed Athena would appreciate. So she wrapped a cloak around her head to hide her snake face. When she was finished she went to dinner with Athena. Dinner was of to a good start but Athena knew something was up when she refused to eat anything who claimed to be named Solan. Athena did not want to look in her eye because she believed the mortal may have some sort of magic up her sleeve. My dearest and most pleasant goddess Athena I have made you something to drink with only the freshest fruit in the world. Athena was convinced that the lady who claimed to be name Solan was a loyal follower. Thank you said Athena and she drank and consumed the poisonous drink.

22 22 It was the best tasting drink Athena had ever and so she new something was up and definitely wrong because no fruit is better than the fruit of the gods. Athena started throwing up and felt incredibly sick. Medusa finally took of the cloak and revealed her real self and said Now I have my revenge on you Athena I have sickened the goddess of war. Athena said Medusa you will pay for this I promise you. The next day Athena started the biggest war in the world called the beginig of war. Athena s Army fought against Medusa s Army and eventually won after a long courageous war. After, the war Athena then locked up Medusa in a cave never to see sunlight again. King Midas; weight loss Have you recently been trying to lose weight? Has it been a struggle. Well King Midas of Phrygia has some easy ways to lose weight that even he used. Go through Midas's story and learn new tactics that will make you fit.

23 23 Deez Gods told that Midas's first step in this evolutionary process is to help out all friends and companions of gods. Last weekend, Dionyssus, the god of wine and revelry, passed through the kingdom of Midas. One of his companions, a satyr named Silenus, got delayed along the way. Silenus got tired and decided to take a nap in the famous rose gardens surrounding the palace of king Midas. There, he was found by the king, who recognized him instantly and invited him to spend a few days at his palace. After being so hospitable King Midas was granted one wish. A wish that though was thought of as a curse, but inevitably led to King Midas rapidly increased fitness. Dionyssus the god of celebration, was very grateful to Midas for his kindness, and promised Midas to satisfy any wish of him. Midas thought for a while and then he said: I hope that everything I touch becomes gold. Dionyssus warned the king to think well about his wish, but Midas was positive. Dionyssus could do nothing else and promised the king that from that following day everything he touched would turn into gold. We went to interview Dionyssus and his thoughts on the wish he granted Midas. Dionyssus says, "My first opinion was that Midas was making an extremely greedy wish. He was blind to see what bad things could come out of it. But later that week I went to see Midas once again and he was unrecognizable. He lost so much weight it was like he hadn't eaten in days." But why was the gift to have everything

24 24 you touch turn to gold relevant to losing weight you might ask? Well King Midas gives us his first hand explanation. King Midas says, "The next day I woke up eager to see if my wish would become true. I extended my arm touching a small table that immediately turned into gold. I jumped with happiness! I then touched a chair, the carpet, the door, his bathtub, a table and so I kept on running in my madness all over my palace until I got exhausted and happy at the same time! Then I sat at the table to have breakfast and without even thinking, I ate a grape but it also turned into gold! The same happened with a slice of bread and a glass of water. It was impossible for me to eat. For days I went around bewilder of my new powers but starving because of my lack to eat food. I was rapidly shrinking in body weight. Days later I decided to seek help. I raised my arms and prayed to Dionyssus to take the curse from me. I was dedicated to the river Pactolus and there I rid myself of what could have been a curse or a blessing. But nonetheless after I got a little meal to restore my energy I returned to my palace lighter and more fit than never." And you heard it here lady's and gentlemen, the new way to lose weight is to not eat. King Midas uncovers the unknown secrets of weight loss. King Midas says Dionyssus will be granting more wishes in the future and some lucky people might get a shot at the new process.

25 On the left is a picture of King Midas before his weight loss process. The right picture is him after. Into Dionysus Life as a Neglected Child Dionysus is know as the god of Wine and fertility, but that s all most people know about him. Deez Gods interviewed the deity on his life as one of Zeus targeted children. We all know about Hera s excessive jealousy, but now we get an inside look on the victim s point of view. Deez Gods: When Zeus left you with those mountain nymphs, how were you feeling at that time? Dionysus: I know now it was all in good intentions, but when I was sent off to live with those mountain nymphs, who were very lovely, I was too young to understand and figured my father didn t want me without my mother. But then I remembered that his psycho wife was trying to kill me, so then I was fine with it. D.G.: Speaking of your step-mother, can you explain to us your relationship with Hera now that it s been years? Dio: I fortunately have not had to interact or communicate with Hera in any way. Sure, I see her from time to time but we don t speak. She tried killing me multiple times! That is forever in my mind. D.G.: Alright, well do you mind telling us about the event itself? 25

26 26 Dio: Lucky I m drunk or I d throw you out. Well, all there really is to it is that Hera had Titans rip me apart, I hadn t even lived a full life, that insensitive woman took that away from me. Anyway, I could see Hera watching them kill me. I know she took great joy in that, but when she found out Rhea had put me back together, I think she realized she wouldn t win and left me be. D.G.: One last question- Why did you choose to rescue your mother (Semele) from the underworld after all those years? Dio: Well for one I knew my father s wife would probably burst into flames at the thought of one of Zeus mistresses returning. But in all seriousness, though I d never really met her, I felt something and just needed to rescue her. Let me tell you something though- That Thanatos put up one rough fight. Prometheus Tells All Prometheus tells Deez Gods about his experience atop mount Kazbek. He was bound to a rock by Zeus after tricking the gods and giving them bones as their sacrifices to the gods. Everyday a mighty eagle would pick away at his liver only for it to grow back every night. If Prometheus wanted to survive a mortal had to kill the eagle and an immortal had to die for him. Chiron the centaur died for him and Hercules killed the eagle. An anonymous source for Deez Gods gets the inside scoop of what Prometheus has to say. Source: Why did you help the humans and disobey the gods?

27 27 Prometheus: My love for the humans is too great. All of the people are my children for I made them. I didn't want to watch my people have to give their food to the gods. They were the people who deserved the meat...and the gods deserved the bones. Source: What was the weather like and what did you do up on the mountain? Prometheus: There was a ton of snowfall every night. The cold had a little bit of a bite to it and when the sun was out it was still very cold. To make myself a bit more comfortable I would lie in the snow and make a cushion out of it but it was still very uncomfortable. To pass time on the mountain I would look down and watch the people as they lived their lives. It was very comforting to see them alive and well and to know that humanity was thriving. Source: Describe to us the fight between the eagle and Hercules. Prometheus: First of all the eagle was a hideous creature. Its beak was the size of my leg and it had teeth that would rip apart at my liver. One day Hercules came running up the hill. I had heard many stories about his many victorious feats. He yelled to me that he had come to save me. At first I didn't believe him but as he began to fight my confidence level rose and I knew he was going to free me. The battle between the two took 3 days. Neither one of them would give up and they fought with every thing they had in them until Hercules came out on top. The eagle was about to attack Hercules but he drove his iron sword right through the chest of the eagle. The eagle gave an enormous roar that pearced through the air. Hercules, once again, was victorious. Source: Why did Chiron die for you? Was there anything he said? Prometheus: Once the eagle had been killed Chiron came galloping up the side of the mountain. I asked him what he was doing here and he said he was here to free me. At first I didn't know what he meant. He told me that the people needed me and at that moment he became one of my most revered friends. He was here to die for me, and for the people of earth. Source: What was the first thing you did when you were free? Prometheus: The first place I went was to the people. I went to the town that I was watching on the mountain. When I told them that I was finally free the town

28 28 rejoiced in an amazing party that I will never forget. This moment made me realize why I loved the humans so much. We have a bond that cannot be broken. "Prometheus Stuck on Mount Kazbek"

29 29 Pan Apollo