WEEK#8 BULLETIN INSERT. The Cage of Anger. Good day, Community Group Leaders!

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1 Good day, Community Group Leaders! Attached is your Week #8 group material, also available at by clicking on RESOURCES > COMMUNITY GROUP LEADERS This week s cage, ANGER, can be especially meaningful for groups that have experienced conflict (if you ve met for more than four weeks, yours probably has!) I ve added a 2 minute video teaching for you to watch. You can use this link to see it. Don t forget about BLESS RICHMOND - the gathering of Richmond area congregations to pray, give thanks and feed the hungry of Richmond. This citywide prayer meeting will take place Sunday, November 24 th, 6PM at U- Turn Sports Performance Academy, 2101 Maywill Street, Richmond. Please encourage your group to arrive between 5-5:30 pm in order to drop off canned foods, park and begin the event on time. Several thousand are expected to participate. Each person attending should bring some nonperishable food items for the Central Virginia Food Bank (tuna and peanut butter are especially useful). Thank you for strongly considering continuing on with your group, even if only occasionally over the holidays. Relationships take time and energy to develop but they certainly are worth the effort. Please let me know your group s plans about continuing by Sunday, Nov. 23 rd (last Sunday in CAGES series). We have wonderful group resources available for you to utilize after the series, including and the ever- growing list of group resources available on your resource page at our website, including Truth Search. I look forward to speaking personally with you about what s next for your group. Sincerely His and yours, Pastor Dwayne WEEK#8 BULLETIN INSERT The Cage of Anger The cage of anger is very deceptive This cage reveals that you have more cages to be free from. Anger is a counterfeit survival mechanism. Trying to be God NEVER works. The Key: receiving and giving the love of God Being angry does not disqualify you from receiving God s love.

2 MATERIALS NEEDED: Pencils/Pens Completed message notes bulletin inserts from Sunday See individual ORANGE activities for materials required. WEEK 8 TIPS: Please encourage your group members to consider becoming a member of MCC (by attending Discover Membership on Nov. 16 th ), or any of the other great seminars we re offering: Explore Life, The Person & Work of the Holy Spirit, Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage, or Journey to the Purpose in You. WELCOME/SNACKS 20 minutes OPEN (Ice Breakers) 10 minutes Choose from among these questions or activities: 1. With whom did you quarrel most while growing up? What did you quarrel about? 2. What do you typically do when the check engine light illuminates on the dash of your car? (How long will it be before you tell a spouse about it or investigate the cause of it?) 3. Do the Matching Emotions Game (attached). ADULT INTERACTION OVER SUNDAY S TOPIC/MESSAGE minutes Choose from the following questions. Consider what will work best in your group. Be certain to refer to your notes from Sunday s message as you facilitate your discussions. 1. Anger seems like an explosive emotion and sometimes it is. But the real danger of anger is that it is a rot that slowly and silently eats away inside of us. If we don t deal with it promptly, our anger s decay will begin to spread to those around us. What about you? Can you think of some of anger s effects in your own life? 2. Consider doing the IT S WHAT S INSIDE! orange activity to illustrate how circumstances only bring about anger that is already within us. 3. On Sunday we heard that the cage of anger can be very deceptive. What does that mean? (We may think that we have an anger problem and attempt to correct that behavior. However, anger is really the indication of a deeper issue; anger is the check engine light, telling us that there s something wrong inside.) When you quarrel, are you more likely to seek to understand what desire is really motivating you or to simply focus on removing the anger stimulus? 4. Invite a volunteer to read James 4:1-3 aloud. What kinds of motives does James say may lead to outbursts of anger like quarreling and fighting? (vv. 1-2a) (internal desires, like greed, covetousness, self- serving, pleasure- seeking, unmet expectations, etc.) Think back to your responses to #1 above. What motives, memories, hurts, wounds, or brokenness might that anger- stimulus be touching on?

3 5. How often have you prayed about the underlying desires/causes for your anger? Why does James say that we sometimes don t receive what we re asking of God? (James 4:2b- 3 You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. ) 6. Praying for the person who makes you angry is an effective way to get beyond the feeling of anger and to enable you to hear God s voice concerning the matter. (You must pray God s agenda for them and not your own agenda!) Have you ever been tempted to believe that that individual is not worthy of getting a second chance for grace? Have you ever believed that your own anger has somehow disqualified you from receiving God s love? How do thoughts like those above deny the message of the Gospel? (Grace, by definition, IS underserved. Yet, God offers it to us freely, again and again. Consider the lyrics to the Jesus Culture Song: One Thing Remains: Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me! Song & lyrics are here: GROUP RESPONSE AND PRAYER minutes Choose from the following. Consider what will work best in your group. 1. Distribute a copy of WHITE FLAG (attached) to each group member and give them about 10 minutes on their own to complete this exercise. Rejoin the group afterward to allow members to share and pray with one another. - OR CHOOSE FROM- 2. What area of your life is the Holy Spirit showing you tonight needs an injection of Christ s love in order to displace the anger that s there right now? What are the specific motives at work that God wants to help you remove right now? 3. Ephesians 4:26 says In your anger do not sin : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. For whom do you need to pray God s agenda of blessing and grace, because they ve been a catalyst for anger in your life? Why not do so here and now? (Encourage members to pray a simple prayer of blessing for that ). What steps could you take this week to begin living so as to not let the sun go down on your anger? 4. Ephesians 4:25-32 not only lists behaviors that we need to give up; it also teaches us how we are to live instead. Rather than being angry, we should practice kindness and forgiveness. Who in your life needs you to practice kindness and forgiveness to them? 5. What do you feel like God is asking you to do in response to the weekend message? What is your next step? How can your Small Group support you and hold you accountable in this?

4 MATCHING EMOTIONS Game Materials: Pieces of paper or notecards with the name of an emotion written on them. Some suggested emotions are: anger, fear, happy, nervous, bored, bitter, overwhlemed, depressed, at peace, embarassed, loved, proud, detached, shocked, hate, love. Game Objective Use facial expressions to display the given emotion until you find the other members with the same emotion. Form a support group. Game Preparation Distribute one emotion card to each member of your group. There should be at least two people that have the same emotion written on their cards. The total number of identical cards will depend on how many people you want to have in each support group. Game Play 1. Display the emotion until you find the other members of your group. 2. When you think you have found all your partners/group have a seat together. 3. Continue until all groups are seated. 4. Finally have each group strike a pose of their emotion for other teams to guess. Application / Debrief 1. How did you find your group? 2. Which emotions are the easiest to show? The most difficult? 3. Are negative emotions always sin? 4. Is it easier to control positive or negative emotions?

The truth is that anger is a rot that slowly and silently eats away inside of us. If we don t deal with it promptly, our anger s decay will begin to spread to those around us. What about you?

5 In your anger do not sin : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27 SECTION I Anger seems like an explosive emotion and sometimes it is. But the real danger of anger is rarely in the explosive moments. The truth is that anger is a rot that slowly and silently eats away inside of us. If we don t deal with it promptly, our anger s decay will begin to spread to those around us. What about you? Can you list some of anger s effects in your own life? SECTION II Take a moment and reflect silently. Ask God to bring to mind any anger that you are holding on to that needs to be dealt with. What anger are you letting decay? What anger inside of you has exceeded the expiration date? Perhaps you need to make a list of all the people you are angry with how can you deal with that anger? How can you get rid of it this week? SECTION III Ephesians 4:25-32 not only lists behaviors that we need to give up; it also teaches us how we are to live instead. Rather than being angry, we should practice kindness and forgiveness. Who in your life needs you to practice kindness and forgiveness to them? Re- Read Ephesians 4:26. Do you think that you could practice this verse in your own life? What steps could you take this week to begin living this way?

6 ANGRY HIPPOS Week #8 ORANGE Resources for Group Leaders and Parents MATERIALS NEEDED: A copy of the Angry Hippos coloring page for each child Crayons THE POINT: This is a simple devotional for kids written by Pamela Kennedy with Douglas Kennedy. God tells us to be friends and to settle our differences peacefully. He knows that when we lose our tempers, we hurt others and ourselves too. God says: A fool gives full vent to anger, but a wise person quietly holds it back. Proverbs 29:11 WHAT TO DO? (Tell the following story while the children color the accompanying page.) If you looked at a hippopotamus yawning in a slow- moving African river, you might think it is a friendly and lazy animal. But you would be mistaken! Armed with long, razor- sharp teeth, the hippo is actually one of the most dangerous African animals. What makes it so dangerous is its temper. If a boat comes too close, the hippopotamus will lunge out with a loud roar and slash at it. The boat may be overturned and any riders bitten or dragged under water and drowned. When hippos fight with one another, they may battle for an hour or more, leaving each other gashed and bleeding! These animals may look peaceful, but don t make them mad! Sometimes people can have nasty tempers just like the hippo. They are just fine until someone bothers them. Then they use angry words or even fists to fight. They hurt other people and lose friends. No one likes to be around someone who gets mad and always wants to fight. God tells us to be friends and to settle our differences peacefully. He knows that when we lose our tempers, we hurt others and ourselves too. LET S TALK ABOUT IT: 1. Where does the hippo live? (Arican rivers) 2. What kinds of things make you angry? What can you do with your angry feelings so that you don t hurt others? (Pray, ask God for help in the moment; talk out our anger with a parent, trusted friend or other adult; with God s help, decide before getting angry that you will not overreact to frustration in your life) 3. What makes the hippo such a dangerous animal? (It appears to be calm and harmless; but it can attack quickly and without warning; and it s able to do lots of damage just like our anger.) 4. Why do you think God wants us to control our tempers? (Because we can hurt people too our words can be sharp and cutting; out of control anger may cause us to physically hurt someone else or ourselves; God wants us to be patient and gracious with others, just like He is with us.)

8 SOFT ANSWERS What to do: Read the following introduction and story and then lead the children in a brief discussion about it. When we hide God s Word in our hearts, it will help us keep from sinning against God. Proverbs 15:1 tells us: A soft answer turns away wrath. A soft answer is a kind and gentle answer. Wrath means anger. This verse from God s Word teaches us that when someone is mean or unkind to us, we should respond by giving a kind answer. A gentle answer will turn away, or stop, an argument. Listen to this story, and then let s talk about it: Missy memorized Proverbs 15:1. Every day she prayed that God would help her to give soft answer is someone was unkind to her. Missy and her friend Janet were playing with Missy s dolls. Janet said, Let s put the dolls in the bathtub and give them a bath. Missy said, Oh no, Mom told me never to put these dolls in water. Janet became angry. Missy, she said, I m going home if you won t give the dolls a bath! I m not going to be your friend anymore! Before Missy learned Proverbs 15:1, she would have said, Well, you just go home. I don t want to be your friend either. But Missy remembered, A soft answer turns away wrath. Then she said to Janet, I m sorry. I want you to be my friend, but I can t disobey my mom. Janet was angrily stomping out the door, but when she heard Missy speak so sweetly, she turned around and smiled. Oh Missy, I m sorry. You re my best friend. It was wrong for me to ask you to disobey your mom. The Holy Spirit helped Missy remember and obey God s Word that was hidden in her heart. Missy obeyed God and gave a kind answer to her friend, and it stopped the argument. Something even more wonderful happened. God was glorified when Missy obeyed His Word. Let s Talk about it: 1. When her friend was unkind, who helped Missy remember that a soft answer turns away wrath? 2. Who helped Missy give a kind answer? (She cooperated with the Holy Spirit as he helped her.) 3. What could you do in the moment that you feel your anger begin to flare up, so that you can hear the Holy Spirit helping you? (Stop before you respond; quietly count to 3, or 10; pray quietly before responding, etc.) 4. Let s begin to hide Proverbs 15:1 in your hearts by saying it three times together. Let s Pray God, please help us remember and obey this verse from your Word, even when someone is unkind to us. Amen.

9 IT S WHAT S INSIDE! MATERIALS NEEDED: Tall plastic or styrofoam cup for water Water & a water- safe floor surface THE POINT: This is a simple, visual illustration of Jesus teaching (and rebuke) in Matthew 23 that even though people try to clean up the outside (appearance) of their lives, it s what s inside that makes us truly unclean. When the cup is hit by external force, the water that is already on the inside will come splashing out. This can be equated to our anger it s already inside and the hits that come from the outside cause it to splash out on others. WHAT TO DO? Fill the cup/glass half full of water. Okay, so tell me what I just did? (You just partially filled your cup with water. Duh!) While holding the cup, walk around and talk with the children, tease them some, etc. Be careful not to spill any of the water. Did you notice that I was able to walk around and talk and not spill any of the water? Why was I able to do that? (I had the cup under my control.) Invite a (nice) volunteer to walk with you this time. Have him/her gently tap the cup occasionally. Do your best to not let any of the water spill out. What happened this time when I walked around? (A little water came out, but not much.) Why? (The cup was still under my control, although it was a little more difficult to manage.) This time, invite another volunteer to walk around with you and really hit the cup. This should result in water spilling out hopefully splashing some of the other children. What happened this time? (water spilled out on all of us!) Why did you get water spilled on you? (Because the cup got hit a lot harder; you couldn t control it anymore!) You are partially right. BUT, the real reason you got water spilled on you as it splashed out of the cup is because the water was in the cup to begin with. If the cup had been empty, you would not have gotten splashed, regardless of how hard it was struck. That is a lot like us. We sometimes think that getting hit by bad circumstances in life can cause us to be angry. (Ask for examples.) Sometimes that anger spills out on others around us. But in reality, the difficult circumstances we encounter only serve to stir up and splash out the anger that is already in us. So, whenever we become angry we should ask God to help us discover where the anger came from. Jesus said it this way: How terrible for you, teachers of the law and Pharisees! You pretenders! You clean the outside of the cup and dish. But on the inside you are full of greed. You only want to satisfy yourselves. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish. Then the outside will also be clean. Matthew 23:25-26 (NIRV)

LOOK A LITTLE DEEPER Use these optical illusions to help the children understand that sometimes they need to look a little closer to see what is there.

James 4:1-2a What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill.

10 LOOK A LITTLE DEEPER Use these optical illusions to help the children understand that sometimes they need to look a little closer to see what is there. Similarly, it is important for us to discover what is causing us to feel anger. God wants to free us from the cage of anger caused by those hidden hurts. James 4:1-2a What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. Camouflaged Horses from Visions: The Art of Bev Doolittle How many horses can you find in this classic piece of art? I see at least five. Can you find them? Can you find more? The Hidden Tiger Optical Illusion This is not an easy optical illusion. It was created by American wildlife artist Rusty Rust, and it shows a huge Bengal Tiger standing in a bamboo forest. Your mission now is to look for The Hidden Tiger in the image to the left. Where is the hidden tiger?

WEEK#9 BULLETIN INSERT

WEEK#9 BULLETIN INSERT Good day, Community Group Leaders! Attached is your Week #9 group material, also available at www.mccag.org by clicking on RESOURCES > COMMUNITY GROUP LEADERS It s difficult for me to believe that our