The Sharp Teeth of Bitterness

Transcription

1 The Sharp Teeth of Bitterness Developing Emotionally Healthy Relationships (Part 8) jim stewart

2 The Need for Emotionally Healthy Relationships Healthy vs. Unhealthy People 1 Speaking the Truth in Love 2 Understanding Boundaries 3 Boundary Problems Dealing with Triple Black Diamond People 4 Calming Relationship Wrecking Anger 5 Don t fall prey to relational anorexia! Learn to discern Speak the truth in love Boundaries define what are my responsibility Understand and maintain healthy boundaries Fool-proof your life with the wisdom of Proverbs Let mercy be the antidote that calms the anger SERIES REVIEW Recommended reading: 1 Safe People by Henry Cloud & John Townsend 2 Caring Enough to Confront by David Augsberger 3 Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend 4 Fool-Proofing Your Life by Jan Silvious 5 Overcoming Emotions that Destroy by Chip Ingram

3 Bitterness Song of Solomon 2:15 Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!

4 Bitterness Heb 12:15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. Matt 15:18 But the words you speak come from the heart

5 A person who is bitter is: Someone who chooses to remember and retell all the terrible things that have happened to them in the past. Someone who willfully holds onto injustices, injury, and hurt (perceived or real) presumably to make the other person suffer. Someone who refuses to forgive and/or be reconciled.

6 Where there is unforgiveness there is Bitterness and where there is Bitterness there is unforgiveness

7 Bitterness and Unforgiveness: Rob you of peace and joy, and causes stress, anxiety, nervous breakdowns, and depression. Open the door for Satan to control you. Tend to make us critical, pessimistic, and negative. Ruin relationships and compromise your witness for Christ.

8 Bitterness and Unforgiveness Prov. 20:22 Don t say, I will get even for this wrong. Wait for the LORD to handle the matter.

9 Bittern ess and Unforgiveness Romans 12:19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, I will take revenge; I will pay them back, says the Lord.

10 Bitterness and Unforgiveness Rev. 22:12 Look, I am coming soon, bringing my reward with me to repay all people according to their deeds.

11 1) Express negative feelings instead of submerging and suppressing them.

12 1) Express negative feelings instead of submerging and suppressing them. 2) Accept responsibility for your negative, hateful feelings.

13 Eph. 4:31-5:2 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. 1Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are His dear children.

14 Eph. 4:31-5:2 2Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered Himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

15 1) Express negative feelings instead of submerging and suppressing them. 2) Accept responsibility for your negative, hateful feelings. 3) Confess your reactionary sin, if possible, on at least three levels:

16 Eph. 4:26-27 Be angry and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

17 3) Confess your reactionary sin, if possible, on at least three levels: First: Ask God to forgive you for any wrong reactionary response and then, by faith, receive His promise to cleanse you.

18 1 John 1:9 But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all wickedness. Jeremiah 17:9 The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?

19 3) Confess your reactionary sin, if possible, on at least three levels: First: Ask God to forgive you for any wrong reactionary response and then, by faith, receive His promise to cleanse you. Second: Share with a trusted Christian friend, church leader, or counselor.

20 3) Confess your reactionary sin, if possible, on at least three levels: First: Ask God to forgive you for any wrong reactionary response and then, by faith, receive His promise to cleanse you. Second: Share with a trusted Christian friend, church leader, or counselor. Third: If possible, confess to those against whom you hold any anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness.

21 3) Confess your reactionary sin, if possible, on at least three levels. 4) Ask yourself if you really want to be healed of your emotional bruising.

22 3) Confess your reactionary sin, if possible, on at least three levels. 4) Ask yourself if you really want to be healed of your emotional bruising. 5) By faith, choose to forgive all those who have hurt you.

23 Forgiveness is giving up the right to hate those who have hurt you. Forgiveness is the only antidote for Bitterness.

24 Romans 12:20 Instead, if your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads. Romans 5:10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of His Son while we were still enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of His Son.

25 3) Confess your reactionary sin, if possible, on at least three levels. 4) Ask yourself if you really want to be healed of your emotional bruising. 5) By faith, choose to forgive all those who have hurt you. 6) By faith, choose to extend the redeeming love of Christ to the offender.

26 Col. 1:21.you who were once far away from God. You were His enemies, separated from Him by your evil thoughts and actions. Romans 3:23 For all have sinned; we all fall short of God s glorious standard.

27 Eph. 2:3 All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature, we were subject to God s anger, just like everyone else.

28 6) By faith, choose to extend the redeeming love of Christ to the offender. 7) Choose to forgive yourself and accept God s forgiveness for your sins.

29 Titus 2:14 He gave His life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us His very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds. 1 John 1:9 But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

30 6) By faith, choose to extend the redeeming love of Christ to the offender. 7) Choose to forgive yourself and accept God s forgiveness for your sins. 8) Break any inroads of Satan into your life.

31 James 4:7-8a 7So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8Come close to God, and God will come close to you..

32 CONCLUSION: Forgiveness, like Love, is a verb. It is an action. It is not a feeling; Forgiveness is a choice.