On Treatment of One s Parents

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1 للا للا ف ف يه م ا ف ج اه د أ م ا ب ع د: أ ي ه ا ال مس ل مو ن: م ال ع ب اد ا ت ال ت ي توص ل إ ل ى ال ج ن ان و تق ر ب م ن ال ك ر ي م ال م ن ا ن- ع ب اد ة ح ث ع ل ي ه ا الر ح يم الر ح م ن ف ي غ ي ر م ا آي ة إ ن م ن أ ع ظ م ن ال قر آن ه ذ ه ال ع ب اد ة ه ي ع ب اد ة ب ر ال و ال د ي ن ال ت ي ج ع ل ه ا للا ق ر ي ن الت و ح ي د ف ي ه ذ ا الد ي ن ق ا ل ت ع ال ى: )و ق ض ى ر ب ك أ ل ل إ ي اه و ب ال و ال د ي ن إ ح س انا إ م ا ي ب لغ ن ع ند ك ال ك ب ر أ ح دهم ا أ و ك ل هم ا ف ل ت ق ل ل هم ا أف و ل ت ن ه ر هم ا و ق ل ل هم ا ق و ل ك ر يما ت ع بدوا إ * و اخ ف ض ل هم ا ج ن ا ح الذ ل م ن الر ح م ة و ق ل ر ب ار ح م هم ا ك م ا ر ب ي ان ي ص غ يرا( ]اإلسراء: [ و م ع ن ى (و ق ض ى ر ب ك): ل إ ي اه و ب ال و ال د ي ن إ ح س انا) ف ق ر ن ع ب اد ت ه و ت و ح يد ه ب ب ر الو ال د ي ن. أ و ج ب و أ م ر و أ ل ز م (أ ل ت ع بدوا إ ك م ا ق ر ن شك ر هم ا ب شك ر ه ف ي ق و ل ه سب ح ان ه: ) أ ن اش ك ر ل ي و ل و ال د ي ك إ ل ي ال م ص ير) ]لقمان: 42 [ ف الش ك ر لل ت ع ال ى أ و ل ع ل ى ن ع م ة اإل يج ا د و اإل يم ان و ل ل و ال د ي ن ع ل ى ن ع م ة الت ر ب ي ة و اإل ح س ان و ق د ذ ك ر ن ب ي ن ا ع ل ي ه الص ل ة و الس ل م أ ن ب ر الو ال د ي ن م ن أ ح ب األ ع م ال ع ن د ت ع ال ى ح ت ى م ن ال ج ه اد ال ذ ي ه و ذ ر و ة س ن ا م اإل س ل م ف ع ن ع ب د للا ب ن م س عود t ق ال : س أ ل ت الن ب ي» :r أ ي ال ع م ل أ ح ب إ ل ى للا ق ا ل: الص ل ة ع ل ى و ق ت ه ا قل ت: ثم أ ي ق ا ل: ثم ب ر ال و ال د ي ن قل ت: ثم أ ي ق ا ل: ال ج ه اد ف ي س ب ي ل للا «]ر و اه البخ ار ي و مس ل م.[ و ر و ى اإل م ام مس ل م ف ي ص ح يح ه ع ن ع ب د للا ب ن ع م ر و ب ن ال ع ا ص ر ض ي للا ع ن هم ا ق ا ل: أ ق ب ل ر جل إ ل ى ن ب ي للا r ف ق ال :»أ ب اي عك ع ل ى ال ه ج ر ة و ال ج ه ا د أ ب ت غ ي األ ج ر م ن للا ق ا ل: ف ه ل م ن و ال د ي ك أ ح د ح ي ق ا ل: ن ع م. ب ل ك ل هم ا ق ا ل: ف ت ب ت غ ي األ ج ر م ن للا ق ا ل: ن ع م ق ا ل: ف ار ج ع إ ل ى و ال د ي ك ف أ ح س ن صح ب ت هم ا«و ف ي ر و اي ة ال بخ ار ي»أ ن ر ج ل ج ا ء إ ل ى الن ب ي r ف اس ت أ ذ ن ه ف ي ال ج ه اد ف ق ا ل: أ ح ي و ال د اك ق ا ل: ن ع م : ق ال : ف ف يه م ا ف ج اه د«و ق ال ر جل لب ن ع ب اس ر ض ي للا ع ن هم ا :»إ ن ي ن ذ ر ت أ ن أ غ ز و الر وم و إ ن أ ب و ي م ن ع ان ي ف ق ا ل: أ ط ع أ ب و ي ك ف إ ن الر و م س ت ج د م ن ي غ زوه ا غ ي ر ك«. و ه ذ ا م ن ت م ا م ف ق ه اب ن ع ب اس ر ض ي للا ع ن هم ا و ذ ل ك أ ن ال ج ه ا د ف ي س ب ي ل ف ر ض ك ف اي ة إ ذ ا ق ا م ب ه ال ب ع ض س ق ط ع ن الب اق ين و ب ر ال و ال د ي ن ف ر ض ع ي ن و ف ر ض ذ ي ت ع ي ن ع ل ى ال ج م ي ع ال ع ي ن أ ق و ى م ن ف ر ض ال ك ف اي ة إ ل إ ذ ا ك ا ن الن ف ير ع ام ا ف ع ن د ذ ل ك ي كون ال خروج ل ل ج ه ا د ف ر ض ع ي ن إ الد ف ع و ال خروج ل ل ع د و. ع ب اد للا : إ ن ح ق اآلب ا ء و األم ه ا ت ع ل ى األ ب ن اء ل ي س ت ط يع إ ن س ان أ ن يح ص ي ه أ و يق د ر ه خصوصا م ا ت ح م ل ت ه األ م م ن ح م ل و و ل د ة و إ ر ض اع و س ه ر ب الل ي ل و ن ص ب ب الن ه ار ف ي س ب ي ل الر ع اي ة ال م ط لوب ة أل ح و ا ل ا لب ن: م ن جوع و ش بع و ع ط ش و ر ي و ت ح س س ل م ا يؤ ل مه و غ ي ر ذ ل ك م م ا ه و م ع روف ت ذ بل األ م ل ذبو ل و ل د ه ا و ت غ يب ب س م ته ا إ ذ ا غ اب ت ض ح ك ته و ت ذ ر ف دموعه ا إ ذ ا اش ت د ت و ع كه و ت ت ح م ل م ن الذ ل و الش ق ا ء أ م ث ا ل ال ج ب ال ك ي ي ح ي ا و ي س ع د. ي ف ر ح ق ل به ا إ ذ ا ض ح ك ال و ل يد و ل ت س عه ا الد ن ي ا ن ش و ة إ ذ ا ح ب ا أ و م ش ى و ت ر ى ال ح ي ا ة كل ه ا نورا و ج م ا ل و ه ي ت ر اه م ع الص ب ي ا ن ي ل ع ب أ و إ ل ى ال م د ر س ة ي ذ ه ب و ه ك ذ ا ت ع يش ل ه و م ع ه و ه ي ت ن ت ظ ر األ ي ا م ال ح اس م ة ف ي ح ي ات ه ا و ح ي ات ه ح ين ي ن ج ح و ي ك س ب و ي ت ز و ج و ين ج ب ه ل ي كون ل ه ا م ن و ل د ه ا ن ص يب!! أ م أ ن ك ل جهود ها و ت ض ح ي ات ه ا و آم ال ه ا ت ذ ه ب أ د ر ا ج الر ي اح.!! ه ذ ه ه ي األم ل ذ ل ك ج ع ل للا ت ع ال ى ال ج ن ة ت ح ت ق د م ي ه ا و ج ع ل ح ق ه ا ع ل ى األ و ل د ث ل ث ة أ ض ع ا ف ح ق أ ب يه م ع ل ي ه م ف ق د ر و ى اإل م ام البخ ار ي ر ح م ه للا ف ي ص ح يح ه ع ن أ ب ي هر ي ر ة t ق ال :»ج اء ر جل إ ل ى الن ب ي r ف ق ال : ي ا ر سو ل للا : م ن أ ح ق الن ا س ب حس ن ص ح اب ت ي ق ا ل: أ م ك ق ا ل: ثم م ن ق ا ل: أ م ك ق ا ل: ثم م ن ق ا ل: «أ م ك «ق ال : ثم م ن ق ا ل : ثم «أ بوك «. و ع ن

2 للا للا ع ائ ش ة أ م ال مؤ م ن ي ن ر ض ي للا ع ن ه ا ق ال ت: ق ال ر سول للا» :r ن م ت ف ر أ ي تن ي ف ي ال ج ن ة ف س م ع ت ص و ت ق ار ئ ي ق ر أ ف قل ت م ن ه ذ ا ف ق الوا: ه ذ ا ح ار ث ة ب ن الن ع م ان ف ق ا ل :r ك ذ ل ك ال ب ر ك ذ ل ك ال ب ر«. و ك ان أ ب ر الن ا س ب أم ه ]ر و اه أ ح م د.[ ق ال اب ن ع ب اس ر ض ي للا ع ن هم ا:»إ ن ي ل أ ع ل م ع م ل أ ق ر ب إ ل ى للا م ن ب ر الو ال د ة.«أ ي ه ا اإل خ و ة: ل ق د ت و ار د ت األ ح اد يث الن ب و ي ة ال ت ي تظ ه ر ع ظ م ح ق ال و ال د ع ن د للا ع ز و ج ل و تذ ك ر ب وجو ب مر اع ا ة ه ذ ا ال ح ق ال ع ظ يم ف ع ن ع ب د للا ب ن ع م ر و ب ن الع ا ص ر ض ي للا ع ن هم ا ع ن الن ب ي r ق ال :»ر ض ى الر ب ف ي ر ض ى ال و ال د و س خ ط الر ب ف ي س خ ط ال و ال د «]ر و اه الت ر م ذ ي و اب ن ح ب ا ن.[ و م ن ع ظ ي م م ك ان ة ال و ال د أ ن للا سب ح ان ه و ت ع ال ى ي س ت ج يب دع اء ه ل و ل د ه أ و ع ل ي ه ف ق د ق ا ل» :r ث ل ث د ع و ات مس ت ج اب ات ل ش ك ف يه ن : د ع و ة ال و ال د و د ع و ة ال مس اف ر و د ع و ة ال م ظ لو م«]ر و اه أ بو د او د و الت ر م ذ ي.[ أ خ ي ال مس ل م: إ ذ ا أ ر د ت ز ي اد ة ال عم ر و الر ز ق ف ع ل ي ك ب ب ر ال و ال د ي ن ق ا ل ع ل ي ه الص ل ة و الس ل م:»م ن س ر ه أ ن يم د ل ه ف ي عمر ه و يز ا د ل ه ف ي ر ز ق ه ف ل ي ب ر و ال د ي ه و ل ي ص ل ر ح م ه«]ر و اه أ ح م د[ و ال ح د يث ح س ن ل غ ي ر ه و أ ص له ف ي الص ح يح ي ن. و إ ذ ا أ ر د ت الف و ز ب ر ض ا سب ح ان ه و ت ع ال ى ف ع ل ي ك ب ال ب ر ق ا ل ع ل ي ه الص ل ة و الس ل م:»ر ض ى الر ب ف ي ر ض ى ال و ال د ي ن و س خ طه ف ي س خ ط ه م ا«]أ خ ر ج ه الب خار ي ف ي األ د ب ال مف ر د[. ح ذ ار..ح ذ ار :- أ خ ي ال مس ل م- م ن ال عق وق ف إ ن الش ق او ة ك ل الش ق او ة ف ي عقو ق ال و ال د ي ن و إ غ ض اب ه م ا و إ س خ اط ه م ا. و ل ن س ت م ع ج م يعا إ ل ى ه ذ ه األ ح اد ي ث الن ب و ي ة و الب ي ان ا ت ال مص ط ف ي ة ال ت ي تح ذ ر الت ح ذ ي ر الش د ي د م ن ال عقو ق: ف ع ن ع ب د ب ن عم ر ر ض ي للا ع ن هم ا ع ن الن ب ي r ق ال :»ال ك ب ائ ر: اإل ش ر اك ب الل و عقوق ال و ال د ي ن و ق ت ل الن ف س و ال ي م ين ال غ موس«]ر و اه البخ ار ي ]. و ع ن أ ب ي هر ي ر ة t ق ال : ق ال ر سول للا» :r ر غ م أ ن فه ث م ر غ م أ ن فه ث م ر غ م أ ن فه ق ي ل م ن و ال د ي ه ع ن د ال ك ب ر أ ح د هم ا أ و ك ل ي ه م ا ث م ل م ي د خ ل ال ج ن ة«]ر و اه مس ل م.[ ي ا ر سو ل للا ق ا ل: م ن أ د ر ك ك م ا أ ن ذ ر ع ل ي ه الص ل ة و الس ل م و ح ذ ر م ن م غ ب ة ال عقوق ف ع ن ع ب د للا ب ن عم ر ر ض ي للا ع ن هم ا ق ا ل: ق ال ر سول للا» :r ث ل ث ة ل ي ن ظر للا ع ز و ج ل إ ل ي ه م ي و م ال ق ي ام ة: ال ع اق ل و ال د ي ه و ال م ر أ ة ال مت ر ج ل ة و الد ي وث و ث ل ث ة ل ي د خلو ن ال ج ن ة: ال ع اق ل و ال د ي ه و ال مد م ن ع ل ى ال خ م ر و ال م ن ان ب م ا أ ع ط ى«]أ خ ر ج ه الن س ائ ي.[ إ خ و ان ي ف ي للا : م ن أ ر ض ى الو ال د ي ن ف ق د أ ر ض ى للا ت ع ال ى و م ن أ س خ ط هم ا ف ق د أ س خ ط ه و م ن ب ر هم ا و أ ح س ن إ ل ي ه م ا ف ق د ش ك ر ر ب ه و م ن أ س ا ء إ ل ي ه م ا ف ق د ك ف ر ب ن ع م ت ه و هم ا ال ب اب ال موص ل إ ل ى ال ج ن ة ف م ن ب ر هم ا و ص ل و م ن ع ق هم ا من ع ف الل ه م اج ع ل ن ا م ن الب ار ي ن ب و ال د ي ن ا و الق ائ م ين ب حق وق ه م ا. أ قول ق و ل ي ه ذ ا و أ س ت غ ف ر للا الع ظ ي م ل ي و ل كم و ل س ائ ر ال مس ل م ي ن م ن ك ل ذ ن ب ف اس ت غ ف روه إ ن ه ه و ال غ فور الر ح يم. الخطبة الثانية أ م ا ب ع د:

3 للا ف إ ل ي كم - أ ي ه ا اإل خ و ة ال ك ر ام - ه ذ ه ف ن فوز ك م ا ف ازوا. الن م اذ ج الر ائ ع ة ف ي ح ي ا ة س ل ف األم ة ف ي ب ر ه م ب و ال د يه م ع ل ن ا أ ن ن ق ت د ي ب ه م و ن ق ت ف ي أ ث ر ه م ف م ن ذ ل ك: م ا ث ب ت ف ي ص ح ي ح مس ل م ع ن اب ن عم ر- ر ض ي للا ع ن هم ا - أ ن ه ك ا ن إ ذ ا خ ر ج إ ل ى م ك ة ك ا ن ل ه ح م ار ي ت ر و ح ع ل ي ه ذ م ر ب ه أ ع ر اب ي ف ق ا ل: أ ل س ت اب ن ف ل ن ب ن إ ذ ا م ل ركو ب الر اح ل ة و ع م ام ة ي ش د ب ه ا ر أ س ه ف ب ي ن ا ه و ي و ما ع ل ى ذ ل ك ال ح م ار إ ف ل ن! ق ال : ب ل ى ف أ ع ط اه ال ح م ار و ق ا ل ار ك ب ه ذ ا و ال ع م ام ة ق ا ل: اش دد ب ه ا ر أ س ك ف ق ا ل ل ه ب ع ض أ ص ح اب ه غ ف ر للا ل ك أ ع ط ي ت ه ذ ا األ ع ر اب ي ح م ارا كن ت تر و ح ع ل ي ه و ع م ام ة كن ت ت ش د ب ه ا ر أ س ك ف ق ال إ ن ي س م ع ت ر سو ل للا r ي قول: «إ ن م ن أ ب ر ال ب ر ص ل ة الر ج ل أ ه ل و د أ ب ي ه ب ع د أ ن يو ل ي ]أ ي : ي موت[ و إ ن أ ب اه ك ا ن ص د يقا ل عم ر. و ع ن مح م د ب ن س ير ي ن ق ا ل:»ب ل غ ت الن خ ل ة ف ي ع ه د عث م ا ن ب ن ع ف ا ن t أ ل ف د ر ه م ق ا ل: ف ع م د أس ام ة ب ن ز ي د ر ض ي للا ع ن هم ا إ ل ى ن خ ل ة ف ق ط ع ه ا ف أ خ ر ج جم ار ه ا ف أ ط ع م ه أم ه ف ق الوا: م ا ي ح م ل ك ع ل ى ه ذ ا و أ ن ت ت ر ى الن خ ل ة ق د ب ل غ ت أ ل ف د ر ه م و ال جم ار ل يس او ي د ر ه م ي ن! ق ال : إ ن أم ي س أ ل ت ن يه و ل ت س أ لن ي ش ي ئا أ ق د ر ع ل ي ه إ ل أ ع ط ي ته ا. و ر و ى ال بخ ار ي ف ي األ د ب ال مف ر د ب س ن د ص ح يح ع ن س ع ي د ب ن أ ب ي ي طوف ب ال ب ي ت ح م ل أم ه و ر ا ء ظ ه ر ه ي قول: بر د ة ق ا ل: س م ع ت أ ب ي يح د ث أ ن ه ش ه د اب ن عم ر و ر جل ي م ان ي إ ن ي ل ه ا ب ع يره ا ال مذ ل ل إ ن أ ذ ع ر ت ر ك ابه ا ل م أ ذ ع ر ثم ق ا ل: ي ا اب ن عم ر أ ت ر ان ي ج ز ي ته ا ق ا ل: ل و ل ب ز ف ر ة و اح د ة. و ه ذ ا مح م د ب ن ال ح ن ف ي ة ك ا ن ي غ س ل ر أ س أم ه و ي م شطه ا و يق ب له ا و ي خ ض به ا. و ب ك ى إ ي اس ب ن مع او ي ة ح ين م ا م ات ت أم ه ف ق ي ل ل ه ف ي ذ ل ك ف ق ا ل: ك ان ل ي ب اب ا ن م ف توح ا ن إ ل ى ال ج ن ة ف أ غ ل ق أ ح دهم ا. ن ع م أ ي ه ا األ ح ب ة: إ ن وجو د و ال د ين ا ع ل ى ق ي د ال ح ي ا ة ن ع م ة م ن ي ج ب اغ ت ن امه ا و ان ت ه ازه ا ل ك ي ل ن ت ح س ر ح ي ن ل تف يد ال ح س ر ة ف م ن صو ر ال ب ر أ ن ل ن ر ف ع أ ص و ات ن ا ع ل ي ه م ا و أ ن ن ت و د د و ن ت ح ب ب إ ل ي ه م ا و نك ث ر م ن ز ي ار ت ه م ا و نس اع د هم ا ف ي ق ضا ء ال ح و ائ ج و األ ع م ال و ل نس اف ر ب غ ي ر إ ذ ن ه م ا و ل ن م ش ي أ م ام هم ا و ن س ع ى ف ي إ ر ض ائ ه م ا م ا اس ت ط ع ن ا إ ل ى ذ ل ك س ب ي ل. و أ م ا م ن ف ق د و ال د ي ه أ و أ ح د هم ا ف إ ن ب ر ه ب ه م ا ل ي ن ق ط ع ف ف ي ال ح د ي ث ال ذ ي ر و اه م ال ك ب ن ر ب يع ة الس اع د ي t ق ال : ب ي ن م ا ن ح ن جلوس ع ن د ر سو ل للا r إ ذ ج اء ه ر جل م ن ب ن ي س ل م ة ف ق ا ل: ي ا ر سو ل للا : ه ل ب ق ي م ن ب ر أ ب و ي ش ي ئ أ ب ر هم ا ب ع د م و ت ه م ا ف ق ا ل ن ع م :»الص ل ة ع ل ي ه م ا و ا ل س ت غ ف ار ل هم ا و إ ن ف اذ ع ه د ه م ا م ن ب ع د ه م ا ]أ ي : و ص ي ت ه م ا[ و ص ل ة الر ح م ال ت ي ل توص ل إ ل ب ه م ا و إ ك ر ام ص د يق ه م ا«]ر و اه أ بو د او د.[ ف ي ا م ن تر يد ب ر و ال د ي ك ب ع د م و ت ه م ا ل ت ن س هم ا ب الد ع اء و أ ك ث ر ل هم ا م ن ا لس ت غ ف ار و تص د ق ع ن هم ا أ و أ و ق ف و ق فا ل هم ا ف اح ف ر و اط ب ع مص ح فا أ و ك ت ابا ن اف عا أ و غ ي ر ذ ل ك م ن أ ع م ا ل ال ب ر و ال م ع روف ف إ ن ك ل ذ ل ك ي ص ل ث و ابه إ ل ى و اب ن م س ج دا أ ب ئ را أ ال و ال د ي ن و أ ن ت م أ جور ف ي ذ ل ك كل ه ل ب ر ك ب ه م ا. ه ذ ا و ص ل وا و س ل موا...

4 On Treatment of One s Parents Islam has raised the status of parents to a level that is unknown in any other religion. Following are the duties enjoined on us toward the most important people in a Muslim's life - after Allah our parents. The duties of a son or a daughter are identical. Treating them with kindness and respect One of the most distinguishing characteristics of the true Muslim is his respectful and kind treatment of his parents, because to treat parents with kindness is one of the greatest commandments of Islam, as is clearly confirmed in the Qur'an [Baqarah 2:233], ' No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child or father on account of his child ' The true Muslim spares no effort to show honour and respect toward them, providing them with the best food, clothing and housing - that he can afford- above all, he should speak kindly to them, present a pleasant and smiling face, and show love, tenderness and gratitude. Recognizing parents' status The Qur'an paints a vivid picture of the high status of the parents and explains the excellent way in which the Muslim should treat them. Allah says, 'Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood."' [Isra 17: 23-24] When our parents reach the age of senility and infirmity, they are under our care. Therefore, we must take time to choose the right words to say to them, words that will make them feel loved and wanted. Also, pray for them for the unforgettable favours they have done for us, as they took care of us when we were small and weak. Further Allah says, 'Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him, and do good to Parents.' [Nisa 4: 36] 'We have enjoined on man kindness to parents.' [Ankabut 29: 8] A Hadith- Abdullah ibn Mas'ud said, 'I asked the Prophet [s], "Which deed is most liked by Allah?" He said, "Prayer offered on time." I asked him, "Then what?" He said, "Kindness and respect towards parents." I asked him, "Then what?" He said, "Jihad for the sake of Allah."' A man came and asked the Prophet [s] for permission to participate in Jihad. He asked him, 'Are your parents alive?' He said, 'yes,' so the Prophet [s] told him, 'perform Jihad by taking care of them.' [Muslim vol. 4 Hadith no. 6184] In the midst of preparing his army for Jihad, the Prophet [s] did not forget the weakness of parents and their claims on their children. He, in fact, asked this man to stay back and care for his parents despite the fact that at that time the Prophet [s] needed all the manpower he could get for the

5 forthcoming war. The Prophet [s] allowed the man to stay back from Jihad because there was no one else to care for his parents. Obeying them Disobedience toward one's parents is likened to shirk [associating partners with Allah]. When the mother of Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas objected to her son's embracing Islam, she told him, 'Give up Islam, or else I will go on hunger strike until I die. Then you will feel shame before the Arabs, as they will say, "He has killed his mother."' Sa'd told her, 'You should know that, by Allah, even if you had a hundred souls, and they left your body one by one, I would never give up Islam.' [Muhammad by Martin Lings] Then, Allah revealed a verse which the Prophet [s] recited to the Muslims, in which Sa'd was rebuked for the harshness of his reply to his mother: Allah says, 'but if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not: yet bear them company in this life with justice [and consideration].' [Luqmsn 31: 15] In fact the jurists agree that if your mother calls for you and does not know that you are offering prayers, it is advisable to answer her if you are offering Nawafil [voluntary] prayers. [Muslim vol. 4 Hadith no. 6187] Being kind to them even if they are not Muslims Islam reached new heights by enjoining this duty on its followers. This is clear from the Hadith of Asma bint Abi Bakr as Siddiq, who said, 'My mother came to me, and she was an unbeliever at the time of the Prophet [s]. I asked the Prophet [s], 'My mother has come to me and needs my help, so should I help her?' He said, 'Yes, keep in touch with her and help her.' However, if the parents are unbelievers and tell their child to join them in disbelief, he must not obey them in that, for the Muslim must not obey anyone in disobeying Allah. The demands of Faith take precedence over all human relations. If parents are deviating from true Islam in some way, the dutiful Muslim should, in this case, approach them in a gentle and sensitive manner, so as to dissuade them from their error. He should not condemn them harshly, but should try to convince them with solid proof, sound logic and wise words, until they turn to the truth in which he believes. Mother comes first The Prophet [s] gave precedence to kind treatment of one's mother over kind treatment of one's father. It comes in a Hadith [Muslim vol. 4 Hadith no. 6180] that Abu Hurairah reported that a person came to Allah's Messenger [s] and said, 'who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand?' The Prophet [s] said, 'Your mother'. He asked again, 'Then who?' The Prophet [s] replied, 'Your mother.' He asked again, 'Then who [is the next one]?' The Prophet [s] replied, 'Again it is your mother.' He [again] asked, 'Then who?' Thereupon the Prophet [s] said, 'Then it is your father.'

6 The Qur'an too gives the mother precedence because of pregnancy and breast feeding, and the pains and trials that she suffers during these two stages. 'And we [Allah] have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and for two years was his weaning: Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: To me is your final goal.' [Luqman 31: 14] Treating his parent's friends well It comes in a hadith that abdullah ibn Umar reported Allah's Messenger [s] as saying, 'The finest act of goodness is that a person should treat kindly the loved ones of his father [even after his father has passed away] [Muslim vol. 4 Hadith no. 6193] The highest form of love, faithfulness and respect that a child can show to his parents is to keep in touch with their friends. In this way he cares for his parents before and after death. The only two things help a person in the grave are: the ongoing effect of his charity and his righteous children praying for his forgiveness. But are Muslims today following this teaching after being overtaken by materialism and blinded by the glare of modern civilization? Nowadays our main concern is focussed on spouses and children, not on our parents. Caring for our parents comes after our concern for spouses and children, and some parents do not even have that, unless their children happen to be among those who have that sense of duty and deep god-consciousness [taqwa]. Do you have taqwa enough to never leave your parents when they need you the most? We ask Allah (swt) to fill our hearts with mercy and compassion for our parents, so that we may honour and obey them, and treat them with the love and respect they deserve and in the same way we would like to be treated by our children, so that Allah (swt) may have mercy on us all. Ameen.

7 On Treatment of One s Parents Islam has raised the status of parents to a level that is unknown in any other religion. Following are the duties enjoined on us toward the most important people in a Muslim's life - after Allah our parents. The duties of a son or a daughter are identical. Treating them with kindness and respect One of the most distinguishing characteristics of the true Muslim is his respectful and kind treatment of his parents, because to treat parents with kindness is one of the greatest commandments of Islam, as is clearly confirmed in the Qur'an [Baqarah 2:233], ' No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child or father on account of his child ' The true Muslim spares no effort to show honour and respect toward them, providing them with the best food, clothing and housing - that he can afford- above all, he should speak kindly to them, present a pleasant and smiling face, and show love, tenderness and gratitude. Recognizing parents' status The Qur'an paints a vivid picture of the high status of the parents and explains the excellent way in which the Muslim should treat them. Allah says, 'Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood."' [Isra 17: 23-24] When our parents reach the age of senility and infirmity, they are under our care. Therefore, we must take time to choose the right words to say to them, words that will make them feel loved and wanted. Also, pray for them for the unforgettable favours they have done for us, as they took care of us when we were small and weak. Further Allah says, 'Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him, and do good to Parents.' [Nisa 4: 36] 'We have enjoined on man kindness to parents.' [Ankabut 29: 8] A Hadith- Abdullah ibn Mas'ud said, 'I asked the Prophet [s], "Which deed is most liked by Allah?" He said, "Prayer offered on time." I asked him, "Then what?" He said, "Kindness and respect towards parents." I asked him, "Then what?" He said, "Jihad for the sake of Allah."' A man came and asked the Prophet [s] for permission to participate in Jihad. He asked him, 'Are your parents alive?' He said, 'yes,' so the Prophet [s] told him, 'perform Jihad by taking care of them.' [Muslim vol. 4 Hadith no. 6184] In the midst of preparing his army for Jihad, the Prophet [s] did not forget the weakness of parents and their claims on their children. He, in fact, asked this man to stay back and care for his parents despite the fact that at that time the Prophet [s] needed all the manpower he could get for the forthcoming war. The Prophet [s] allowed the man to stay back from Jihad because there was no one else to care for his parents. Obeying them Disobedience toward one's parents is likened to shirk [associating partners with Allah]. When the mother of Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas objected to her son's embracing Islam, she told him, 'Give up Islam, or else I will go on hunger strike until I die. Then you will feel shame before the Arabs, as they will say, "He has killed his mother."' Sa'd told her, 'You should know that, by Allah, even if you had a hundred souls, and they left your body one by one, I would never give up Islam.' [Muhammad by Martin Lings] Then, Allah revealed a verse which the Prophet [s] recited to the Muslims, in which Sa'd was rebuked for the harshness of his reply to his mother: Allah says, 'but if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not: yet bear them company in this life with justice [and consideration].' [Luqmsn 31: 15] In fact the jurists agree that if your mother calls for you and does not know that you are offering prayers, it is advisable to answer her if you are offering Nawafil [voluntary] prayers. [Muslim vol. 4 Hadith no. 6187] Being kind to them even if they are not Muslims Islam reached new heights by enjoining this duty on its followers. This is clear from the Hadith of Asma bint Abi Bakr as Siddiq, who said, 'My mother came to me, and she was an unbeliever at the time of the Prophet [s]. I asked the Prophet [s], 'My mother has come to me and needs my help, so should I help her?' He said, 'Yes, keep in touch with her and help her.' However, if the parents are unbelievers and tell their child to join them in disbelief, he must not obey them in that, for the Muslim must not obey anyone in disobeying Allah. The demands of Faith take precedence over all human relations. If parents are deviating from true Islam in some way, the dutiful Muslim should, in this case, approach them in a gentle and sensitive manner, so as to dissuade them from their error. He should not condemn them harshly, but should try to convince them with solid proof, sound logic and wise words, until they turn to the truth in which he believes. Mother comes first The Prophet [s] gave precedence to kind treatment of one's mother over kind treatment of one's father. It comes in a Hadith [Muslim vol. 4 Hadith no. 6180] that Abu Hurairah reported that a person came to Allah's Messenger [s] and said, 'who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand?' The Prophet [s] said, 'Your mother'. He asked again, 'Then who?' The Prophet [s] replied, 'Your mother.' He asked again, 'Then who [is the next one]?' The Prophet [s] replied, 'Again it is your mother.' He [again] asked, 'Then who?' Thereupon the Prophet [s] said, 'Then it is your father.' The Qur'an too gives the mother precedence because of pregnancy and breast feeding, and the pains and trials that she suffers during these two stages. 'And we [Allah] have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and for two years was his weaning: Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: To me is your final goal.' [Luqman 31: 14] Treating his parent's friends well It comes in a hadith that abdullah ibn Umar reported Allah's Messenger [s] as saying, 'The finest act of goodness is that a person should treat kindly the loved ones of his father [even after his father has passed away] [Muslim vol. 4 Hadith no. 6193] The highest form of love, faithfulness and respect that a child can show to his parents is to keep in touch with their friends. In this way he cares for his parents before and after death. The only two things help a person in the grave are: the ongoing effect of his charity and his righteous children praying for his forgiveness. We ask Allah (swt) to fill our hearts with mercy and compassion for our parents, so that we may honour and obey them, and treat them with the love and respect they deserve and in the same way we would like to be treated by our children, so that Allah (swt) may have mercy on us all. Ameen.

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