Forgiveness. Forgiveness is the essence of a Christian s faith and being. However, in our fallen world filled

Transcription

1 Katherine Chu Lee Forgiveness Forgiveness is the essence of a Christian s faith and being. However, in our fallen world filled with broken people and damaged relationships, there is a huge struggle to practice forgiveness. Our twisted morals have blinded us from true forgiveness and has replaced it with revenge, grudges, and division. It is crucial to re embrace the power and beauty of forgiveness because it not only affects one s spiritual life, but it also impacts the mind, body, and soul as well. This paper will describe forgiveness from both Christian and non Christian perspectives, the reasons why forgiveness can be difficult, and the importance of forgiveness. Jesus is the example of a true forgiver and in the Bible Jesus teaches many lessons on forgiveness. However, it is still easy for one to fall into the temptation of keeping those who have sinned against us in an emotional penalty box, making them serve endless hard time for their offenses (Inrig 20). One struggles with forgiveness because they were hurt or offended, but sometimes the bitterness, revenge, and hatred bottled up inside distorts their perspective and keeps the unforgiver in the bondage of unforgiveness. Jesus command is is clear in Luke 17:3, If he repents, forgive him. To forgive is to wipe the slate clean, graciously to cancel a debt (Inrig 20). The word for forgive that Jesus uses has various meanings, to set free, release and in certain contexts to wipe away, release (Inrig 20). The purpose of forgiveness is the restoration of communion and the reconciliation of brokenness (Jones, 49). The act of forgiveness aligns one with God by choosing to live in holiness and to walk out of their old wine skin, to live in the new one. Furthermore, Christian forgiveness should be taken seriously because it involves a high cost. Theologian Gregory Jones states, It requires the disciplines of dying and rising with Christ, disciplines for which there are no shortcuts, no handy techniques to replace the risk and

2 vulnerability of giving up possession of one s self, which done through the practices of forgiveness and repentance. Theologian and professor Miroslav Volf defines forgiveness using the comparison between God and Santa Claus, there s God the negotiator and God the Santa Clause (45). People tend to negotiate with God or exchange deals with him, If you do this for me, I ll do this for you ; but Volf states, God s goods are not for sale; you can t buy them with money or good deeds. God doesn t make deals. God gives (45). But at the same time, God does not act like Santa Claus who just scatters gifts across the sky regardless of what the people are doing, acting, or how they re living. While God gives, His people are also required to give what they are receiving, whether it is love, grace, forgiveness mercy, or compassion; the obligation is to continue the giving. If God is viewed as Santa Claus, people will only know how to receive and ask for more; but the way God gives is so people can be thankful, learn to give more, and not just become selfish and self centered. The Christian walk and responsibility is to reflect God s giving and forgiving. Forgiveness does not just mean letting someone off the hook ; it is to mirror Christ, forgive and forget the offense, and to deliver the violator into the freedom of forgiveness. In order for a Christian to fulfill their calling on Earth, forgiveness is crucial in the Christian walk. Christians are called to be the salt in the world to preserve relationships, communities and nations, and to bring reconciliation into dark and evil places. But before nations are changed, forgiveness starts with the individual and their impact and influence on those around them. Musekura quotes Robert Schreiter, those who have experienced individual reconciliation have experienced the graciousness of God, lifting them out of the desolation of being defined by the evil deed of the past. Forgiveness and reconciliation starts with an individual impacting a community, then a city is unified, then a nation is changed. In a

3 world filled with group pride, collective evil, and the demonization of races, tribes, nations, and communities human suffering in the last century has been greater than any other period of human history (Musekura 99). The world needs a biblical and theological example of communal forgiveness because that is the only way to establish and maintain peaceful relations amongst communities. From a secular perspective, forgiveness is a term that implies the restoration of a fractured relationship (McCullough 446). It may be defined according to its properties as a response, as a personality disposition, and as a characteristic of social units (McCullough 446). As a response, forgiveness could be a change of mindset or behavior towards their transgressor. As a personality disposition, forgiveness may be understood as a propensity to forgive others across a wide variety of interpersonal circumstances (Mc Cullough 446). In terms of a quality of social units, forgiveness can be perceived as the regaining of intimacy, trust, or commitment. As a non Christian, Wehner integrates the secular worldview with a Christian value that he believes is important. While pondering on political scandals and morals, Wehner asks the question, Shouldn t grace and forgiveness shape our views toward those who commit marital infidelity?. He states, Grace and forgiveness don t mean ethical infractions are completely forgotten and never taken into account. God is righteous God and is not neutral between righteousness and wickedness. And he goes on saying, In the wrong hands, the argument for grace can easily slide into antinomianism ( against the law ), which rejects the moral law as a relevant part of the Christian experience. On grace and forgiveness there is a corollary, less provable but no less important. According to Wehner, this is the only part of the Christian faith that is worth thinking about and keeping in mind, especially when it comes to moral failure and ethical lapses. There should be a price for failure, but there should always be a chance for redemption too.

4 Unlike the Christian approach of forgiveness where it is for a greater cause and it flows from one s inner being, the world approaches forgiveness as more of an external process and a shift of mindset. Waldron s explanation on forgiveness is, one or both partners experience a transformation from negative to positive psychological states (153). Forgiveness involves the casting off of deserved punishments, the abandonment of negative reactions, the imparting of love towards the other person, self sacrificial nature, the potential restoration of the relationship, and positive benefits for the forgiver (Waldron, Kelley 155). The question now is, if forgiveness is just a shift of mindset, why can it be so hard to forgive? Even though human beings were created to live in unity and communion, the deep roots of sin and evil cause humans to live in a state where there is always a lack of trust. We often attempt to secure our lives at the expense of others (Jones, Celestin 52). Forgiveness is difficult because when there is a need to forgive that means, damages have been made, boundaries have been crossed, feelings have been hurt, and scars have been left (Kroll 25). And the act of forgiving can be so painful because people tend to define forgiveness as releasing their violators from their wrongdoings. When one has been violated or lost a loved one to a murder, the word forgiveness may seem like a joke because one s initial reaction is usually, You deserve to die because you killed someone. Some may even ask, Is it good for a society when murder is forgiven?. When one is in pain and anger, it is hard for them to let go of the ultimate judgement and leave it securely to God. Kroll states, I am not in favour of superficial, quick and easy forgiveness. I am in favour of using righteous and creative anger to secure justice, justice for the victim and for the offender. I do not think we should ever forget that certain terrible events have happened in our world (Holocaust of the Jews, African American discrimination ). I know that creative and sustained anger can be an impetus to change. Creative anger is directed towards justice,

5 anger that ends with the securing of justice, anger that knows when to change into love, is an essential ingredient of real forgiveness. (30). Another reason why forgiveness may not be something easy to give away because people are always hiding behind their pride and ego. The power of being in control of a situation and even the possibility of manipulating the one who is drowning in guilt, is an addictive feeling. Pride can blind someone to a point where they only see their own pain and they just victimize themselves more and more. So what is the importance of forgiveness and how does it benefit the forgiver? Both forgiveness and unforgiveness have major impacts on one s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Those who are unforgiving experience more anger, depression, negative thoughts, and poor health. Then there are also those who give hollow forgiveness which is forgiveness spoken out but not registering psychologically. Worthington states, On the surface, forgiveness seems logically to be related to relationship health. Beneath the surface, however, the picture is fuzzy (37). Silent forgiveness is when a forgiveness is not truly experienced and not flowing between the two people which can lead to a disconnect between experiences and expression of forgiveness (38). Living life without forgiveness is like drinking poison, and waiting for the other person to die. This is a famous quote that everyone has heard before and it has direct relations to how unforgiveness impacts one s well being. Emotionally the person is in constant bondage because they cannot let go of their bitterness, anger, and pain, which automatically affects the mental well being. When one is drowning in sad emotions all the time, the mind will be affected and mentally it will start to only filter negative and twisted thoughts. Referring back to the quote, some may think drinking poison may just be an analogy, but research has shown and proved that unforgiving people have higher risks of cardiovascular disorders and low immune systems. If the root planted in a body is bitterness and hatred,

6 it will obviously not bear healthy fruits. Also, forgiveness is a key factor to be spiritually aligned with God. It is difficult for Christians who hold grudges, live with hatred and revenge, and choose to be unforgiving to live out the Kingdom culture or have an intimate relationship with God. Many people fail to forgive because they don t want their offender to live happily, but the truth is forgiveness benefits the forgiver in all aspects of their well being. Although the Christian and secular worldview perspectives tackle the topic of forgiveness from different angles, they both agree and conclude that forgiveness is a difficult yet mandatory process that every individual should practice. Furthermore, studies have shown and proved that forgiveness is important and crucial to one s well being because it holds the key to emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual health. Bibliography Inrig, Gary. What is Forgiveness? Forgiveness: Forgiven And Forgiving, The Power And Reality Of Authentic Christian Forgiveness. Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, Print.

7 Jones, Gregory, The Cost of Forgiveness, Embodying Forgiveness. Grand Rapids: Wm.B.Eerdmans, Print. Jones, Gregory, and Musekura Celestin. Forgiving As We ve Been Forgiven: Community Practices for Making Peace. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, Print. Kroll, Una. What About Criminals and Those Who Have Done Real Harm? Forgive and Live. New York: Continuum International Publishing Group, Print. McCullough, M.E., and Witvliet McCullough. The Psychology of Forgiveness. Handbook of Positive Psychology. New York: Oxford University Press, Print. Musekura, Celestin. Introduction. Assessment of Contemporary Models of Forgiveness. New York: Peter Lang Publishing, Print. Volf, Miroslav. God the Giver. Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace. Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, Print. Waldron, Vincent, and Douglas Kelley. Conceptual Foundations. Communicating Forgiveness. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, Print. Wehner, Peter. "The Only Part of Christian Theology Everyone Really Needs." Commentary

8 2011: n. page. Web. 27 Nov Worthington, Everett. Initial Questions About the Art and Science of Forgiving. Handbook of Forgiveness. New York: Taylor & Francis Group, Print.