Love in 3 D Eph 4:32

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1 Joint Heirs Fred Chay Love in 3 D Eph 4:32 1. The Issue of Expression :25 --lay aside "falsehood" (pseudo- false) b. Positive--Speak truth to neighbor c. Reason We are members of each other (Unity issues 4: 1-6) 2. The Issue of Emotion :25 a. Positive: Be angry b. Negative: Do not sin c. Reason :26b Don t let sun go down 2. Don t give devil "a place" - opportunity 3. The Issue of Empathy 4:28 b. Positive c. Reason 4. The Issue of Exposition :29-30 b. Positive c. Reason 1. "That it might give grace to the hearer" 2. Do not grieve the HS of God :30 We are redeemed now by the work of God and the sealing of the Spirit. But we also wait for the eschatological day of redemption when we are in the presence of Christ fully. We are in a way seated with Christ in the heavenlies now 1:3 but we will be actually and fully in his presence later and the Spirit is the pledge that we have now and for the future day. Since the HS sealed you (1:13,4:30) this represents a very intimate relationship. Hence when we sin by our speech or in any way, we grieve or bring sorrow to the HS since He is in and with us relationally, metaphysically and perhaps physically. NB What aspect of your speech do you need to evaluate and eviscerate? 5. Issue of Evil :31-32 The Gk order of the verse includes 5 nouns then a command "Put Away" followed by a summary prep. phrase "with all malice" 1. The Catalogue -"Bitterness" in taste - "resentment" in a person- "sharp" arrow See Acts 8:23, Rom 3: 14, Heb 12: 15

2 -"Anger" Thumos from Heb wd Nose- snort Passion involved. Human anger Gen 49:6-7 Prov 21:14 Divine anger Ex 32:12, Deut 9:19,29:28 Isa 5:25) -" Wrath" Orge (Eph 2:3, 4:31,5:6, Col 3:8, I Tim 2:8) (NB both Thumos and Orge used together Rom 2:8, Col 3:8, Rev 14:10,16:19, 19:15) -"Shouting" (shouts of joy or abuse) -"Profane abusive blasphemy" I Tim 6:4 Mk 3:28, Matt 15;19 Rev 13:1,5,6 17:3 NB The first noun (Bitterness) has to do with our attitude. The next two (anger and wrath) deal with our disposition, and the last 2 (shouting and abusive speech) deal with our manner of speech. Paul says we are to be in control of our life which includes the inner attitude and outer action and speech. 2. The Command- PUT AWAY 3. The Capstone "With all malice"= wickedness and evil I Cor 5:8,14:20, Col 3:8, Titus 3:3, I Pt 2:1,16 b. The Positive This command implies that they are now engaged in the negative activities and are exhorted to stop and start doing the positive ones. -" Kindness" God has demonstrated His kindness 2:7. Now He desires that we show Kindness to one another. It is a fruit of the Spirit Gal 5:22 -"Compassion" or tenderness I Pet 3:8 Col 3: 12 (Jesus had compassion on people Matt 9:36 14: 14, Lk 7:13) -" Being Gracious" Charis- favorable to one another-forgive? Undeserved favor (Rom 8:32, I Cor 2:12, 2 Cor 12:13, Gal 3:18, Philp 1:29,2:9 Col 3:13 Some translate this as "forgiveness" and this is possible. In fact the two go together. But I think it is to be translated" being gracious" here since the participle is functioning as a circumstantial participle and is telling us how to or the manner by which we manifest kindness and compassion. charizomai ( carizomai). This term is related to the word for Grace (charis). It conveys the essence of freeness concerning forgiveness. The term is used in regards to forgiving a financial debt as in Luke 7:42. However more importantly is the idea of a 2

3 moral debt being cancelled out. This is the term used to express the forgiveness of Jesus as he cancels out the debt of man because of his transgression. The death of Jesus cancelled out the debt we owed to God. But this term is also used as a command placed upon Christians to forgive each other when sin is perpetrated upon one another. Paul makes it quite clear in his twin letters that forgiveness is not optional but essential in the church and in ones Christian life. In both Eph 4:32 & Col 3:13 the command is clear, the imperative explicit. "And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ." (Eph 4:32 NAB) "bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do." (Col 3:13 NAB) NB Graciousness is the opposite of Bitterness and it is how you counteract the negative vice list. A Gracious attitude counteracts bitterness. Anger and wrath are counteracted by a gracious disposition. Shouting and abusive speech is counteracted by gracious speech. c. The Reason" Just as God in Christ was gracious to you." We are to show grace since we were shown grace. The grace we experienced was from God in Christ. Eph 2:1-9,1:2-14 Summary We know the importance of graciousness and forgiveness for if there was no forgiveness then heaven would be a very empty place. If we are to experience progress in spirituality and unity of the spirit in the Body it is essential that we recognize that often times we have failed to forgive others. One of the most difficult things to do is to forgive people for what they have actually done and have done purposefully. The hurt is real, the harm is real, the question is, "Will the healing ever be real?" Concerning forgiveness, some are of the view of Oscar Wilde "Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." But this is hardly biblical and in fact dangerous since it is not genuine forgiveness but simple manipulation and exploitation manifested from the flesh. A more biblical expression and one that contains sound psychological insight is seen by Lance Morrow- "Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. Not to forgive is to yield oneself to another s control... to be locked into a sequence of act and response, of outrage and revenge, tit for tat, escalating always. The present is endlessly overwhelmed and devoured by the past. Forgiveness frees the forgiver. It extracts the forgiver from someone else s nightmare." To forgive is truly to set a prisoner free. But what you discover is that the prisoner was you. Truly, "If you release them then you will be set free." 3

4 The centrality and significance of forgiveness to Christian living as is manifested by the memorable hyperbolic scene created by Peter as he seeks to know how many times he must forgive. In Matt 18:21-22, Peter thinking he has exhausted forgiveness of a brother"s offense at 7 times (7, the number of completeness or fullness) is undone as Jesus suggests as He corrects his math by stating you are to forgive your brother 7 times 70. Again a hyperbolic statement meant to indicate the incalculability of the need to forgive one another. Given the biblical definition of forgiveness, it seems helpful to realize that forgiveness could be divided or described in two distinct ways. The first is judicial forgiveness. This means that I can forgive the person for what they did. I can then move on with my life. There is no outstanding debt and I will chose to harbor no ill will. The debt is paid in full and forgiven even if the events area not forgotten. The second is what we might call~ relational forgiveness. This means that not only can the offense be forgiven but also the relationship is or can be restored. This is often more difficult since feelings are more often involved. Perhaps another way of describing this is to understand that forgiveness can be both formal and functional. Both are real and demand spiritual maturity. But the latter does not occur with out the former. We will never functionally or relationally forgive until we first formally and judicially forgive. It is assumed and we must understand our limitations as fallen finite humans and as such ultimate judicial forgiveness belongs to God alone. But in some sense we do need to formally decide to not hold a person hostage and guilty of there actual breaking of the "law" if we are ever to actually forgive. Hence in a small but real way we must adjudicate the offense and adjust our attitude if we are ever to engage in action that allows for relational forgiveness. Another way of approaching the concept of forgiveness is to understand that there are perhaps at least four levels: First is "Feigned Forgiveness". This is what many good Christians do because they know that the bible says they are to forgive. However, what is actually going on inside is a form of deception. Many Christians say they forgive but in fact they are seething inside with anger, hate and a desire to destroy the person. In this state a person has deceived themselves, distorted the meaning of the Word of God and denied the Lords true desire for restoration. This type of forgiveness is "in name only", fleshly, and in fact is a counterfeit to the truth. The fact is- it promotes a lie. This is ruinous to the development of spiritual maturity. Second is "Formal Forgiveness". This would be where there is definitely a reduction in feelings that are negative towards people, but a relational sense of reconciliation never takes place. Third there is "Functional Forgiveness" In this form, reduction in negative feelings takes place and the relationship is somewhat is restored. However, the emotional intimacy and intensity of the relationship is forever lost. 4

5 Fourth and finally there is "Full Forgiveness". This would be the case where there is a total ceasing of negative feelings towards a person and the relationship actually is restored. As Lewis Smeads reflected concerning forgiveness- "You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well. But forgiveness will only take place when I am willing to give up my perceived right to hurt you because you hurt me." I take it this is what the bible seeks for Christians to aim at in there life on earth since this is what we have received from the Lord as sinners who have become saints. One of the reasons we find it so hard to forgive is our perceived desire for justice. But if we are ever going to experience and extend full forgiveness, we must give up the idea that full and true justice will ever take place on earth. (Remember: Vengeance is mine and I will repay" It is Gods job not mine.) In other words, we must be committed to the fact that we must forgive someone even though they may never be caught or found out. No one will ever know what they have done and, in all likelihood, they will continue to prosper and be blessed just as if they had done nothing wrong. This may call into question the sovereignty of God, but in fact it simply reinforces our limited sense of knowledge and wisdom. The wisdom of God is beyond our ability to comprehend in its fullness. However, in spite of our limitations - and in light of God s greatness - He calls upon us to trust him. And that means forgiving others fully and finally. The glory of Christianity is to conquer by forgiveness. --William Blake "A mans wisdom gives him patience, it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Prov. 19:11 "If you release them you will be set free" Do you need to forgive some one? Who is it? 1. When will you forgive them? Summary Eph, 4:17-32 The power and practice of Body life is characterized by corporate purity 4:17-24 and constructive companionship 4: How are you contributing to the spiritual health of the Church of Jesus Christ? 5