June, This zine was produced as part of Writers in the Community, a program run by the Quebec Writers Federation.

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2 June, 2016 This zine was produced as part of Writers in the Community, a program run by the Quebec Writers Federation. Many thanks to Dale Matthews We would also like to express our gratitude to the following supporters, without whom the Writers in the Community program would not be possible: The Quebec Writers' Federation acknowledges the support of the Canada Council for the Arts, which last year invested $153 million to bring the arts to Canadians throughout the country. CV

3 A handful of mush Brain like black wetness Crazy yet strong Mind like a clump of thin trees Searched. Manacled. Ideas like lights turning quickly on and off Making you put your nose in the mud and pray. Rasp, Fringe, Bong, bong, bong. Ignition lock. Cagey. I once walked threw the doors. I saw two kids by the bleachers; they were bothering me. They were also laughing at me. I started to cry. They asked me why I was crying. I said to them, it is just a tear. After, they asked to dance for me. They started to come on their knees. I said nothing. They got up, and just jumped. Enjoy. I had a smile. They challenged me to a race. I said okay. We made a deal. I said run, and beat me. Or, if I win you do two laps. They beat me. They are just too fast. I asked their names. I said, I am Costal. They were Matty and Stephen. Matt Paulette 2 3

4 I am old and out of breath. No, you are not; you walked a mile in your shoes. I hurt from carrying several loads, No, you are strong, you can do this Take a deep breath and relax. Peer into the blue sky. How long has it been since you stopped to smell the flowers? Kathryn Moving Forward There is a fine line dividing boy and man He feels like he can t when really, he can Paralyzed by fear, he hesitates Hoping that time will cure his fate If the clock stops, the illusions of responsibility wanes Like the clear water droplets after the harsh wind and rains Confidence is difficult to accumulate Especially when the support comes too late It is so much easier to remain the boy To be cared for and looked after, oh what a joy. Pounding the pavement, looking for work He does not speak French, ah what a quirk It is hard enough to cross from one stage to another Hey, he ain t heavy, he is my brother Through sweat, blood and the tears It is necessary to advance through the years Place one sturdy foot in front of the other, and walk You realize you have to walk the walk and talk the talk Let the fear go, and let your mind be free Have faith that all that will be will be The boy will indeed become a man His courage to move forward will prove he can Despite the fear and uncertainty His attitude, and perseverance are key. Kathryn 4 5

5 The sad beans betrayed their honest cousins. The happy thunderstorm is doing the busted objects. The amazing candlesticks gravitate the blue tub. The trembling plant is running the stupid stick. The slippery car possesses a horrifying tree. The soldier is counting the bald heads. The horrified boy ran through a big ball. I m close to a wolf and I love them. To be a wolf is having very high survival instincts, and they always have to find little prey to feast on to stay alive. What is it like to know all these survival tactics? It would say that it s a natural thing for itself as an animal and a well known dog ; just way more smart. A wolf would know survival tactics, tracking tactics, and how to navigate where to go in forests and other places. I d like to know survival tactics because when Donald Trump gets elected, all hell will break loose and World War 3. Ryan The sad beans betrayed the honest cousins. The soft pillow talks to the grumpy child. The amazing fire is going across the vast area. The amazing bull is evaporating cold water. The hairy tiger burned the entire family. The plastic pen can strangle the old cat. group poem 6 7

6 I live in a group home. I wish I never did; I sometimes wish I wasn t in this home. But, I always wanted a good life as a kid. There have been flaws; there had been hard times. When I lost family, I ve felt claws. When I self-harm, I heard chimes. Life goes on and on. Doesn t mean it has to be till the end of dawn. Life is really bad at times, but I spend my time making rhymes. Rhymes written and spoken calm me down. I put in work for my town. Room, every time I go onto a certain ice rink hundreds of emotions flow trough my body, I usually become happy and exited that I am going to play my favorite game. Stephen Ryan 8 9

7 You re getting better and better, you need to push harder. It s not how hard you push; it s how hard you can get pushed And keep moving forward, you changed, for the better, Your not you anymore, have patients good things are to come. Stephen My mom is important to me because she brought me to this world without regret, and I love her. She lets me do a lot of stuff. She s nice, and she loves me no matter what I do. I know she will never stop loving me, and I know I will never stop loving her. She is the best mom. She buys me stuff even if I don t ask, or deserve it. She also feeds me a lot of food and buys me chocolates. She treats me so good. We could get into a lot of arguments, but there is no doubt I love her to the moon and back. Samantha 10 11

8 I am a golden lion. I am locked in a cage; surrounded by all these people gazing at me. They As soon as I step on the ice I feel very nice. I have no care in the world, I feel like the best in the world. As the puck breaks away my eyes fade away. My jersey number is 31 my effort is 101. No time to lose, its time to win. will not stop looking at me; they will not leave Stephen me alone. I need to break out of this cage, but I can t. I am confined, and these bars are bolted in. The dark of the sky s scare me, and I want to be free, but I can t get out. I am just left in this locked cage with nothing but a rage of a lion. shirley 12 13

9 I was with someone who had something. Now, I have something, because I was with a person who had something. I feel like shit, because I have something. Shirley I see a tiger s face with very strong eyes. His eyes are green and yellow. I can see that he has black stripes with orange and white fur on the other parts of his face. There is a blurry vision in the background of the tiger s body. I can see the thick white whiskers near his mouth and a dark pink nose. I chose this picture because I love the tiger s eyes. I feel like they are telling me that there is a lot of anger and power in this tiger, but the eyes also show sorrow and fear, like he is looking at something. I have so much anger, and it has built to become a great fear; fear that I will hurt someone with all the rage that I have kept in Shirley 14 15

10 Why are you doing this? I need to do this. But what is the need? It must be done. You do not need to do this. But, it is a pure need to me in my mind. I don t want you to do this. But, it s too late. It s already done. Why did you do that? Again I felt the pure need for these actions to be done. I will be with you, but I will never live a lie for you. I will stay with you, but I will never die for you. I can understand you, but I will never cry for you. I actually will never even try for you. You think that I am just like you. I will never be you. Shirley shirley 16 17

11 I remember living in a building in a kids. There were a lot of pets too, like dogs, neighbourhood where everyone would talk to each cats, birds, lizards, and rabbits. We can take other. Almost everyone was French, and so was most of these animals out to roam free, and play I. This was a very long time ago, and I was very all day until they returned to their owners at the young. I loved this place, and I loved all the end. I loved everything about this place, and I people that I was so close with. The air outside was not afraid of anything until I left this always seemed clean and there was a lot of place. I, my siblings and my parents moved away people that would make good food. I can go to from this place when I was four years old and all of their apartments and try a lot of different ever since then, there has been crazy things foods. Everything seemed so happy, healthy, and happening in my life. full of bright colours. I would play outside everyday; all day with all the neighbourhood shirley 18 19

12 I cannot be in a reality that is yours; I can only I woke up in this room, and it was not the first live in mine. time. In your reality, you feel all these emotions. As I look around, I see walls that are stained I do not feel pain. yellow and cracking. I do not understand love. There is a bed and a table with a lamp on it. I am never always sad. This room is very hot, which makes it hard to The only real emotion that I breath and there is a really bad smell. truly understand is anger. This room is located in a very small house; like I wish that I can have another person s reality so a shack, and I am not alone in this room. I can truly feel all these emotions. Shirley Shirley 20 21