2012 The Journey Radio Ministries, Inc.

Transcription

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2 2012 The Journey Radio Ministries, Inc.

3 A Biblical View of Sexuality Everywhere we look, we see evidence of how sex-saturated our society has become. Whether it is in television shows, movies, billboards, or the mall-one thing is for sure: our culture doesn t hesitate to put sexuality and sexual topics in front of us. But what about the church? Far too often, the church remains uncomfortably silent about sexuality. Parents are too squeamish to talk to their kids about purity, men and women who desperately need accountability keep their sexual struggles to themselves, and the church often avoids these issues. But because God created us, and created sex as part of the package, we have to talk about sexuality. We need to know what God has to say about sex and how we can apply those truths to our lives. That is the goal of this booklet. We ll use the following broad outline as we establish a Biblical view of sexuality: Creation First, we ll see God s perfect design and plan for sex. We ll learn about sexuality the way God intended it to be, and discover that it truly is a gift from him. The Fall Second, we ll examine what happens when we use sex inappropriately, selfishly, and in opposition to God s commands. Redemption Finally, we ll talk about what happens when we do fall, when we allow ourselves to be pulled into sexual sin. We ll see God s plan for restoration and examine the nature of repentance. Because we can t avoid the topic of sexuality in today s society, it s critical that we build a solid foundation of truth to guide our attitudes and actions about this gift from God. 3

4 God s Idea: The Gift (Part 1) The human body: it s not a product of the evolutionary process, not the result of random chance and not a lastminute creation that was barely given a thought. Instead, the human body, and every aspect of it, is a gift from God, carefully designed and lovingly created. He knew what he was doing when he fashioned us and he has a perfect plan for the use of these human vessels, including the appropriate context for sex and sexuality. In fact, sex was God s idea! Unfortunately, our world sees things differently: My body is my own, and I can do whatever I want with it. Nobody has the right to tell me what to do with my body. The sacred act that God designed to unite a husband and wife is seen by many as just sex a casual diversion and nothing more. Let s look at God s creation of the human body, his plan for bringing a husband and wife together, and his perfect intention for the role of sex in our lives. We will discover that sex is, indeed, a gift from God! Important points to remember: Biblical Framework: Creation Fall Redemption The human body is a gift God designed to honor him in all its expressions including sexuality. Man and woman are designed by God to complete each other. This completion is powerfully illustrated and experienced in sexual intimacy. Biblical sexuality between a man and woman is designed and ordained by God and reserved for a husband and wife to complete each other and physically confirm their marriage commitment. Have you ever heard anyone (in real life, in a movie, or on TV) say, It s just sex? Do you agree or disagree? How would you respond if a friend said this to you? What would you say if your own child said this to you? The following versus teach us about our bodies and how we should view and use our bodies. How should these truths affect us in the following areas: our habits, what we put into our bodies, and our sexual activity? 4

5 Genesis 2:7 Then the Lord God formed a man[a] from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. Psalm 139:13-16 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Isaiah 64:8 Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. God wasn t finished when he created man. He still had another kind of body to create. Why did God create woman? What was Adam s response? Let s read it together. Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Genesis 2:21-23 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man s ribs [a] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib [b] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. We ve learned that God is the designer and creator of the human body and of the gift of sex. Why do you think that parents seem too squeamish to get into the subtleties of instilling sexual ethics in their own children? As guardians of their homes, boundaries should be set by parents in 5

6 order to protect their children from becoming ensnared in sexual sin. Memory Verse Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Put it into Action Review the key Scripture passages from this week s study (Genesis 2:7, Genesis 2:21-25, Psalm 139:13-16, Isaiah 64:8, and 1 Corinthians 6:18-20). Spend some time in prayer, thanking God for: 4 His intimate involvement in the creation of our physical bodies 4 His perfect plan to have a man and a woman complete each other 4 The way he has designed sex to be a powerful uniting force within the context of marriage Then consider all of the following that apply to you: What areas of my life do I need to change in order to better honor God with the body that he has given me? If you are married: Express to your spouse (verbally, with a letter, etc.) how thankful you are for him/her and the way he/she completes you. Be specific how has God created the two of you to complement and complete each other. If you are a parent: What boundaries do you need to set for your children in the area of dating, relationships, and sexual purity? Take some time this week to talk to your children (at an ageappropriate level) about the gift God has given each of us in his design and creation of the human body. If you are single: Commit (or reaffirm your commitment) to following God s perfect design for sex. Ask him for his guidance and strength as you follow his plan, reserving sex for the marriage relationship from this point forward. 6

7 God s Idea: The Gift (Part 2) We learned earlier that sexuality is a gift from God, lovingly and deliberately designed by him, and created to be used only within a specific context the context of marriage. Not only can we learn about God s plan for sex through the passages we studied in Genesis and 1 Corinthians, but we can also turn to a book of the Bible that is entirely dedicated to the concepts of love and sexual intimacy: the Song of Songs, often referred to as the Song of Solomon. Written by Solomon, this book doesn t tiptoe around the subject of sex. Rather, it is vivid and infused with passion, while at the same time not crude or vulgar in any way. It celebrates pure love and describes what one commentator has called the only... pure romance [Solomon] had. Let s see what we can learn about God s gift of sexuality through the Song of Songs. Song of Songs: A picture of biblical sexuality Epilogue (8:8-14) The training for and the understanding of biblical sexuality is first and foremost a family s responsibility. Courtship (1:2-3:5) Courtship demands disciplined sexual desire. Wedding (3:6-5:1) The wedding night is worth waiting for!!! It begins what is meant to be continued intimacy and fulfillment. Marriage (5:2-8:4) God designed sex to unite a husband and wife... not divide them. The training for and the understanding of biblical sexuality is first and foremost a family s responsibility. When families abdicate this responsibility, where do kids get their information, training, and view of sex? What are some of the dangerous or humorous facts they might learn from these othersources? What principles does Song of Songs 8:8-9 suggest to parents/families for protecting their children from the dangers of sexual sin and preparing them for the appropriate enjoyment of God s gift? 7

8 Song of Songs 8:8-9 We have a little sister, and her breasts are not yet grown. What shall we do for our sister on the day she is spoken for? 9 If she is a wall, we will build towers of silver on her. If she is a door, we will enclose her with panels of cedar. Think about the hallmarks of a successful courtship regarding sexual activity. A dating couple should establish boundaries in their relationship early on. What rewards do you think a man and woman will discover on their wedding night and throughout their marriage when they have followed God s plan for sexual intimacy? Read 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Now answer the following questions: What obligation do a husband and wife have to each other? What exception is made and what warning follows the exception? How does this obligation contribute to the goal of a healthy marriage? 8

9 Memory Verse Song of Songs 8:6 Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Put it into Action Read through the entire Song of Songs it s only eight chapters! As you read, ask God to reveal areas where you can learn from this beautiful love story. Write some personal guidelines for your life and circumstances that will enable you to better follow God s plan, and to better use the gift of sexuality as he intends. Be specific. What actions, what boundaries, what commitments can you make that will bring you closer to the ideal romance that God reveals through Song of Songs? Whether you are married or single, you may have experienced a time when you failed to meet God s standards for sexuality. Take some time to examine your life, to confess and repent of past sins, and to thank God for his forgiveness. 9

10 LUST: Visual and Emotional Throughout this booklet, we are using the broad framework of Creation, Fall, Redemption. The last two sections covered Creation, looking at sexuality as God intended it to be. We learned about God s design and creation of the human body, and talked about both the gift he has given and the standards he has set. Now, let us move into the next portion of our discussion: sexuality under the Fall. We will examine the various ways that sexuality has been twisted and misused as a result of the Fall. So, let s get started by discussing the topic of lust. After establishing what lust is, we ll talk about why it s so dangerous, and discuss how we can protect ourselves and each other from falling into this seductive trap. When it comes to lust, the World might ask, What s the harm in looking? We re about to find out. Important points to remember Lust: Visual and Emotional Understanding Lust Old Testament: khamad verb translated to take pleasure; to delight New Testament: epithumia translated desire, passionate longing, lust The Problem with Lust Lust turns a person into a body part. Lust depersonalizes the gift of sex. Lust is only satisfied by more lust. Jesus equates lust with adultery. Dealing with Lust Lust in all forms is a real and strong temptation! Take practical steps! Tackle lust as a serious spiritual issue a fire that consumes!! Beauty is frequently recognized or acknowledged in the Bible. How would you explain the difference between acknowledging beauty and engaging in lust? Consider the statement: Lust turns a person into a body part. How is this result the complete opposite of what we 10

11 learned God intended when he created the human body and our sexuality? It can be easy to focus only on the visual aspect of lust, but we can t forget that there is another aspect as well an emotional one. Particularly for women, fantasies about relationships can present a dangerous snare. Fantasizing about relationships can harm a marriage and is a violation of God s plan for marriage and sexuality. Even more so in today s online culture for relationships, the snare is so easily set. An ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure what a perfect description for the trap that lust is! What boundaries might someone need to set in order to keep themselves from the temptation of lust? What are some good common-sense things they can do to avoid sexual immorality? Let s see what the Bible says. It is God s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality 1 Thessalonians 4:3 Memory Verse 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 It is God s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; Put it into Action As we ve just discussed, lust is a serious issue. And although it s a topic that we may not be used to talking about, it s one that affects many of us every day. This week, spend time praying for those close to you. Pray that they would be protected from temptation, and that when they are faced with temptation, that they will stand strong against it. Pray for your husband or wife, your children, and your friends. Pray for yourself, as well. Then, take a look inward and be honest with yourself. Are you struggling with lust? Identify areas where you are heading down the wrong path and then determine what actions you should take to turn around. You may need to do anyor all of the following: 4 Confess your sin to God, and ask for his forgiveness. 11

12 4 Establish some personal rules or boundaries to help you steer clear of the temptation of lust. These rules may involve places you go, movies you watch, books you read, or any number of other things. 4 Talk to your accountability partner about this issue and ask for some help with sticking to your boundaries. 4 Make an appointment to talk to a counselor or pastor. 12

13 Sex, Sin, and Grace (Part 1) We have been discussin sexuality from the perspectives of Creation, the Fall, and Redemption. We began with Creation, and saw that sex was God s idea. He created it, he designed it, and he gave it to us as a gift. We also saw what has happened to sexuality as a result of the Fall. Sinful man has misused and abused this beautiful gift, resulting in dangerous and heart-breaking consequences. Now we turn our attention to the critical component of Redemption. What happens when we fall into sexual sin? How does God restore his children when they have fallen in this area? We ll begin our conversation about redemption by looking at the role of the church when it comes to sex, sin, and grace. So often we think the responsibility for grace lies with the individuals who fell They need to confess and deal with what they ve done. We ll see in the following pages that it s not just the responsibility of the people who have fallen, but that redemption is also to be the message and the responsibility of the church. Important points: Creation God s ideal Fall Man s application Redemption Recovery and restoration God often sends his invitation of grace by the loving confrontation of another believer. Read the following verses, each one written by David. What does each passage teach us about David? Psalm 9:1 I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. Psalm 16:7 8 I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. 8 I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Psalm 19:14 14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 25:4 5 4 Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. 13

14 5 Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Is this the kind of person you would picture getting trapped in sexual sin? As you can see, even a man after God s own heart, David, can get trapped in sexual sin. Read 2 Samuel 11:5-17 and see the lengths David went to cover up his sexual sin? Why do you think he resorted to such an elaborate cover-up, rather than confessing and dealing with his sin? The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, I am pregnant. 6 So David sent this word to Joab: Send me Uriah the Hittite. And Joab sent him to David. 7 When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were and how the war was going. 8 Then David said to Uriah, Go down to your house and wash your feet. So Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king was sent after him. 9 But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all his master s servants and did not go down to his house. 10 David was told, Uriah did not go home. So he asked Uriah, Haven t you just come from a military campaign? Why didn t you go home? 11 Uriah said to David, The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents,[a] and my commander Joab and my lord s men are camped in the open country. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and make love to my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing! 12 Then David said to him, Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back. So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. 13 At David s invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master s servants; he did not go home. 14 In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. 15 In it he wrote, Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die. 16 So while Joab had the city under siege, he put Uriah at a place where he knew the strongest defenders were. 17 When the men of the city came out and fought 14

15 against Joab, some of the men in David s army fell; moreover, Uriah the Hittite died. How is confronting sin an act of grace? What makes confrontation different than being judgmental? Matthew 7:1-5 Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, Let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother s eye. Why do you think Christians avoid lovingly confronting fellow believers who are trapped in sin? What excuses might they give for why they can not or should not offer God s invitation of redemption to the one who is struggling? Read Galatians 6:1-2 Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. What do these verses tell us about our responsibility for being part of God s offer of redemption? When we need to confront a fellow believer, what do these verses teach us about the manner in which we should approach them? Memory Verse Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Put it into Action If God has allowed you to clearly see another believer trapped in sin and has laid on your heart the responsibility to lovingly and firmly confront that person, devote time this 15

16 week to prayer and preparation for that task. Ask God to give you the approach, the words, and the love you will need to talk to the one who is struggling. Spend time in God s Word, reading passages that apply to the situation. If you have any questions, please contact a pastor. If God has not laid anyone on your heart, it s still important to realize that loving confrontation is something that we are all responsible for. Re-read 2 Samuel 12:1-10, the story of Nathan s confrontation of David. What can you learn from this confrontation that you can apply to any future restorations in which God may call you to be involved? 16

17 Sex, Sin, and Grace (Part 2) What happens when a person falls into sexual sin? Can they repent and be restored? Will God really take them back? And while we re on the topic of repenting, what is real repentance anyway? Let s take a final look at God s incredible grace and his invitation to restoration for those who have left their hearts unguarded and given in to sexual temptation. Using Psalm 51 as a guide, we ll explore the components of true repentance and find the ultimate source of forgiveness. Important points Genuine repentance is Godly sorrow proven by sustained changed behavior. Godly sorrow is a heavy heartfelt emotion. Godly sorrow is unqualified admission of sin. Godly sorrow drives us to redemption the desire to be forgiven and restored. Godly sorrow is proven by actions. True repentance accepts the consequences of sin. Forgiveness is found in God s mercy. Imagine you were talking with someone who had succumbed to the temptation of sexual sin. How would you respond to the following statements? God won t forgive me. I ve gone too far this time. I know God loves me. If I ask him to, he ll forgive me and clean up this whole mess so that my family and I don t have to suffer because of my mistake. Psalm 51 gives us a tremendous example of genuine repentance on the part of King David after he fell into sexual sin. Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. 17

18 3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. 5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. 6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place. 7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. 9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. 14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. 15 Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise. 16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 My sacrifice, O God, is[b] a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. 18 May it please you to prosper Zion, to build up the walls of Jerusalem. 19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous, in burnt offerings offered whole; then bulls will be offered on your altar. What can we learn from each of the following verses about true repentance? Verse 3: For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Verse 12: Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Verse 17: The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Keep in mind the difference between Godly sorrow artificial repentance. For example, while Godly sorrow drives us to redemption, artificial repentance might drive us to protect our own public reputation. 18

19 Godly sorrow is a heavy heartfelt emotion. Godly sorrow is unqualified admission of sin. Godly sorrow drives us to redemption the desire to be forgiven and restored. Godly sorrow is proven by actions. Memory Verse Psalm 51:1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. As we conclude this discussion on a Biblical view of sexuality, take time this week to review the notes and insights you ve recorded throughout the booklet. Then write down the key truths you ve learned in the following areas. What I ve learned about sex/sexuality: 19

20 What I ve learned about guarding myself from sexual temptation and sin: What I ve learned about God: 20

21 Notes: 21

22 Notes: 22

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24 Ron Moore has served on the pastoral staff of The Bible Chapel since 1989 and as Senior Pastor since He earned the Master of Theology (ThM) and Doctor of Ministry (D.Min.) degrees from Dallas Theological Seminary. His doctoral work focused on Marriage Enrichment. He also holds a Masters degree in Education from Texas A & M at Commerce BK015 (SKU)