Nothing is Different Until You Think Differently

Transcription

1 Nothing is Different Until You Think Differently Why does Bill lose his temper and yell at his wife? Why does she respond by having a second and third glass of wine every night to dull her pain? Why is their daughter so deeply involved in sinful and shameful behavior that never delivers what she is looking for? The reason is the way they think. Beyond behaviors and deeper than attitudes, thinking determines outcome more than anything else. If you repeatedly find yourself in places where you don t want to go, it s your thinking that s leading you there. God offers your only hope for victory over disposition, dysfunction, doublemindedness, and every mental stronghold. With Him, you can think differently. MORE CLEAR TEACHING FROM GOD S WORD AT WALKINTHEWORD.ORG Walk in the Word is the Bible-teaching ministry of Dr. James MacDonald. James teaching emphasizes the precise exposition of God s Word and its practical life application. James is the founding senior pastor at Harvest Bible Chapel. He and his wife Kathy have three grown children. Learn how to grow in faith and please God with your life through Walk in the Word s daily broadcast available all the time at JamesMacDonald.org. Thinc Diphruntly JAMES MACDONALD IGNITING PASSION IN THE PEOPLE OF GOD THROUGH THE PROCLAMATION OF TRUTH WALK IN THE WORD WORD JAMESMACDONALD.ORG WR587 JAMES MACDONALD

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3 THINC DIPHRUNTLY HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MIND

4 CONTENTS CH. 1 WHY IS IT SO HARD TO THINK DIFFERENTLY?... 6 CH. 2 DESTROYING THE STRONGHOLDS IN YOUR DISPOSITION CH. 3 DESTROYING THE STRONGHOLDS OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION PT CH. 4 DESTROYING THE STRONGHOLDS OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION PT CH. 5 ENDING DOUBLE-MINDEDNESS CH. 6 STRONGHOLDS OF MY OWN MAKING CH. 7 WHEN STRONGHOLDS START TO CRUMBLE CH. 8 REPENTANCE BREAKS STRONGHOLDS by James MacDonald. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. CH. 9 CH. 10 WHEN YOU FAIL TO THINK DIFFERENTLY DO THIS HOW TO RENEW YOUR MIND PT Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Interior design: Inprov Cover design: Inprov CH. 11 HOW TO RENEW YOUR MIND PT ADDITIONAL NOTES Printed in the United States of America

5 CHAPTER 1 I am excited about what you re about to read not just because of how the Lord has already used these principles and insights in my own life, but because of how I believe He s going to use them in yours. Proverbs 23:7 says, As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. The principle this verse declares is that thinking determines outcome. As a result, I ve been wrestling with this thought... Why Is It So Hard To Think Differently? What is the thing that has to change at a deeper level if behavior is going to change? Maybe you ve wondered the same thing. Maybe that s why you re reading this book. Whether you re reading this out of a thirst for change, a forced assignment, or simply for encouragement, I believe what follows will open a deeper relationship with the Lord, greater victory, more consistent joy, and the experience of God showing you from His Word that real change means thinking differently. So let s go over some examples... Linda is hypercritical. Lance is lazy and lethargic. He changes jobs like most people change their socks

6 Lisa is an overeater. Lyle is an overachiever. Larry is complaining every minute his eyes are open. Lou is losing to sexual temptation. Lauren is leaving her loved ones in the lurch again. Now, putting aside the fact that all of those names start with an L, focus with me on why. Why do Linda, Lance, and the rest behave the way they do? Are they right? Of course not, but telling them this is wrong; this is right isn t going to fix the problem. 1. OUR BATTLES ARE NOT PRIMARILY PHYSICAL. 2 Corinthians 10:3 says, For though we walk in the flesh... The word flesh (sarx in the Greek) sometimes means your old, sinful nature. But in this instance, flesh just means your body or physical reality. Do you understand that you are not only physical? In fact, the most important part of you is not the physical; the most important part of you is the mind, emotions, and will, which make up your soul. No one is ever going to really change without heart change, as we see in Proverbs: As a man thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). â Thinking determines outcome. At this point you might be wondering, Well, if thinking is the lasting change, why aren t more people changing? Here s why because it is terrifically difficult to change the way you think. Seriously, it is! In 2 Corinthians 10, the Apostle Paul gives us four important reasons why this is the case. The first is... It s vital for you to understand that there is a part of you that will live somewhere forever either with God or separated from Him, based on what you do with His Son, Jesus Christ. And that part is your soul. But that s also where your mind is. And your mind not your brain is what Paul is working on here. So when Paul says, For though we walk in the flesh, what he means is, We live our lives in a physical reality. But even though everything around us seems physical, Paul is warning us not to be confused. We are not primarily fighting a physical battle

7 For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh (2 Corinthians 10:3). is going to CHANGE this? How can this be DIFFERENT? I never INTENDED for this to happen! The real battles we fight are not physical battles; they re mental, thinking wars against forces not in the flesh. So what are our weapons for a fight like this? That question leads us to the second reason thinking differently is hard OUR WEAPONS ARE NOT READILY ACCESSIBLE. 2 Corinthians 10:4 says, For the weapons of our warfare (warfare means our strategy for the campaign) are not of the flesh... When our first thought in battle is to reach for weapons of our flesh, the war is already lost. About six or seven years ago, I was going through a tough few months, even struggling to preach. So I went and talked to a Christian friend who counsels people. What I m about to tell you changed my life. I said to him, Well, I did this and this happened! But then I did this and THIS happened. NOW look where I am. What I laid it out for him, ugly and all. And he said, Well, James, this is where your best thinking has gotten you. Wow! That is an awesome insight. You see, most people aren t working on trying to get worse; they re working on trying to get better. But if that s not happening in your life like you know it could be, embrace this reality: You are where I m not in a hurry to say it because I don t want it to land too heavily on your heart. I don t want to hurt you. But sometimes love is gently saying what s true. You are where your best thinking has gotten you. So how can we change our thinking? That s what we re going to discover in the following pages. Because here s the truth: Walled off in our minds, you and I have ways of thinking that are keeping us from the life God wants us to live. They are fortresses; strongholds. Which leads us to the third reason changing our thinking is hard

8 3. STRONGHOLDS ARE NOT EASILY DESTROYABLE. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds (2 Corinthians 10:4). Why? Because a lot more is affected by our thinking than we re ever willing to acknowledge. Here s what I m trying to tell you: When we oppose God s work even in our thinking we are opposing God Himself. The word picture here is of a wrecking ball swinging into a tower. Some translations even say demolish. Why such a violent image? Because strongholds aren t easy to destroy. If they were, trust me, everyone would be doing it. Most people, Christian or not, sail the ship of life as far it can go until their strongholds cripple the ship. And there they stay for the rest of their lives. And while there are a few people in their teens, twenties, or thirties who may change their thinking a little, most have their mindset so deeply entrenched by the time they get into their second decade of adulthood that they don t go anywhere after that. They might change jobs, churches, or even marriages. But they don t change their thinking. And they re shocked to find when they come around the corner the exact same stuff is happening in the new scenery. Notice in 2 Corinthians 10:5 Paul says,... and take every thought captive to obey Christ... That s the language of we took prisoners. Every thought that doesn t go with the knowledge of God must be taken prisoner and taken off the battlefield of our minds. That is something ONLY YOU can do. This is why Paul goes on to say, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete (10:6). Do you see it there? You have to do your part before anyone else can do their part. Nobody can change your thinking for you. Which leads us to the fourth and final reason changing the way we think is so difficult I HAVE TO MAKE IT PERSONAL. The mind is powerful. I don t think we even begin to understand its impact. For example, it won t surprise you that I can eat really

9 fast. And because I have a tendency to eat fast often, I get hiccups a lot. And because I get hiccups a lot, I ve learned about a lot of different remedies through the years to try and cure them... Listen friend, we have a remedy a truth for changing our thinking that is far more powerful than any cure for hiccups. We have the holy, all-powerful, unchanging truth of the Word of God! Get someone to scare you (but that doesn t work very well) Hold your breath Drink something upside down I ve tried them all. One time I had hiccups so bad that the chair was rocking and it wasn t even a rocking chair! QUESTION 1: In what ways have you noticed your thinking affect your decisions and everyday life? Does some of it need to change? List some areas that come to mind. One time my wife Kathy, whom I love so dearly, came to me while I was hiccupping and said in a way that only she could, You re calm. Let it go. You don t have the hiccups anymore. And guess what I didn t! Those who study the mind would tell you that the reason this worked is that my mind believed something that thereby affected my behavior. But the fact is, there are many remedies out there in the world today for a multitude of different things, and some swear by the effectiveness of each one. Why? Because they work for them. They re convinced in their minds that the remedy works. QUESTION 2: Have you made this personal? Thinking differently will only happen if you and only you make the necessary steps to change

10 CHAPTER 2 Over the next few chapters we re going to talk about the different types of strongholds ways of thinking resistant to change. First we ll consider strongholds in our disposition. Let s look at Genesis 25: Destroying The Strongholds In Your Disposition These are the generations of Isaac, Abraham s son: Abraham fathered Isaac, and Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel the Aramean of Paddan-aram, the sister of Laban the Aramean, to be his wife. And Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because she was barren. (Then look at this.) And the Lord granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived. The children... Children? So already we can see that she s not going to have just one son or daughter; she s going to have twins at the least. We don t know how many yet, but there are several two at least. The children struggled together within her... (25:22). Notice the word struggled. The Hebrew word here is r sus. Normally it s used to mean crushing, or oppressing. This implies that the children were warring inside her which, needless to say, is not typical baby movement. And here s what I want you to get from this... Everyone is born with a disposition. e

11 Your disposition is something God gives you. He intends your disposition for good, but because of our sinfulness, our disposition gets bent. God s Word portrays over and over that life begins at conception, and babies in their mothers wombs not only already have dispositions, but also plans marked out for them by Almighty God. They already have God s favor and purpose upon their life. So let s look at a definition to find out what a disposition really is. baby boys Rebekah gave birth to both were born with something special. In verses 24 26, Rebekah goes to the Lord after He tells her about the two nations within her: When her days to give birth were completed, behold, there were twins in her womb. The first came out red, all his body like a hairy cloak, so they called his name Esau. Afterward his brother came out with his hand holding Esau s heel... Disposition is your natural mental outlook; your predominant tendency or leaning; your prevailing point of view. Disposition affects every relationship and every decision. It s the filter installed on your thinking through which you process reality. It s the reason four people on a street corner can all watch the same accident and have different opinions about it. And because of this, every stronghold and argument you have is affected by your disposition. What you call best and right is actually your filter, and it can become your stronghold. So if we re going to think differently, we have to examine our dispositions. Now, I want to prove through Genesis 25 that these two Why? Because he wanted to be born first. The name Jacob means heel catcher or heel grabber. It s the idea of wanting to find a way, even if it involves deception. Jacob can also mean to get ahead of the other. Don t you see how their dispositions are already right there? God s Word is not saying, Oh! How interesting! How random! He was holding on to his heel. Isn t that funny? No. That s not what the Bible is saying at all. It s revealing that what they will become is present in the womb and in their delivery. It s already there. Now just take a moment and ask yourself, Are there certain dispositions in me? Can you see that you were born with a way of thinking that you have battled your whole life? Can you see how easily you slip into the thought, This isn t A way; this is THE way. This isn t a GOOD way; this is the RIGHT way

12 How you process what happens in your home, kids, marriage, finances, work, church it all goes through the filter in your mind. That s where the strongholds, arguments, and lofty opinions begin to take up residence: in our dispositions. In Genesis 25:27 we learn more about Jacob and Esau. Notice that Scripture says, When the boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, dwelling in tents. Could they be any more different? Esau s disposition led him to always be outdoors. Jacob s led him to want to stay inside. Both of those things are okay and what the Lord wanted, but the devil always tries to distort what God intends for good. Genesis 25:29 32 explains, Once when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was exhausted. And Esau said to Jacob, Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted! (Therefore his name was called Edom.) Jacob said, Sell me your birthright now. (Whoa! That guy was shrewd.) Esau said, I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me? double portion as the firstborn, to you? Never! But Jacob resented the fact that his brother got a double portion. Esau was born only a few seconds earlier and Jacob couldn t let it go. So he took matters into his own hands and jumped at the chance to trade some stew to get the birthright and blessing that his profane brother didn t respect. These two brothers many strongholds influenced what they were passionate about. Notice Esau s low impulse control. I just want the meal. I don t care. I ll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. We then read verse 33, Jacob said, Swear to me now. So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright. The goal of thinking differently is to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and destroy strongholds, so I want to talk to you about dispositions and help you locate yours. There are four main temperaments: The Book of Hebrews tells us that Esau was a profane and godless person. Regarding the birthright, he should have responded, Are you crazy? Give my entire inheritance a 1. SANGUINE This person has a tendency to be late and is a people pleaser, but is also expressive and fun

13 2. CHOLERIC I need it NOW. People, come HELP me. That s the choleric. They want to win and can make great leaders, but also have a tendency to be demanding. 3. PHLEGMATIC They can be hard to get engaged but once they do, they re some of the most faithful, diligent people around. 4. MELANCHOLY The melancholy is analytical and feels a lot, but can also tend toward negativity. Each person has a primary and a secondary disposition. day has to be taking our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. That s the key to discovering and destroying the strongholds of disposition. QUESTION 1: Which dispositions are you? What s your primary and secondary? Ask others to help you figure this out. For example, I m sanguine/choleric. I end up being more choleric at church because of my responsibilities, and that s one of the big tensions in my life, because by disposition I m sanguine. But listen: You cannot change your disposition. Nor does God want you to change it. You are perfectly suited for what God wants you to do. Take a moment and let this truth settle in your heart. Instead of entrenching our arguments and lofty opinions against those with different dispositions, our goal every

14 QUESTION 2: Have you noticed a bent in your thinking since you were a child? Has that bent been positive or negative? What stories can you remember that reveal your dispositions?

15 3 Destroying The Strongholds Of Family Dysfunction Pt. 1 We re now going to consider generational sin. Deuteronomy 24:16 shows us how God is expanding our understanding of the law when He says, Fathers shall not be put to death because of their children, nor shall children be put to death because of their fathers. Each one shall be put to death for his own sin. He is teaching us that no matter what your kids do, God will not punish you for your kids actions. So man, no matter what your dad did, God is not going to punish you for it. Woman, no matter what your children do or become, God will not punish you for it. Furthermore, God will not punish you for what your parents did to you, either. Isn t that good news? Now, back to Deuteronomy 5: 6 9, where God is laying out the law. He has called all the people of Israel together, and He speaks to them through Moses: I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image... You shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God... First of all, understand that God s jealousy is not sinful. He doesn t want something that doesn t belong to Him;

16 He wants what s His our hearts. So when He says, I am jealous, it s a very holy thing. Even though your ancestors may not have known the Lord, their struggles will affect your life.... for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me (Deuteronomy 5:9). So now you may be wondering, Well, which IS it, James? Is the son punished for the father or isn t he? We have two verses one that s saying, He visits the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation... And then a second one in the same book of the Bible that says, He doesn t punish us for our father s sin... So which is it? It s both! You see, there are no consequences (that s key) for generational sin, but there are inclinations. Because of how your father or mother or grandfather or grandmother struggled because of sin in your family s past you have inclinations. You have temptations, susceptibilities, and vulnerabilities which you have to recognize. If you and I are going to think differently, we have to do some reflecting on questions like, What did my dad struggle with? What did my mom struggle with?, What about my grandparents? How were their lives shaped? But now the good news! 1 John 4:4 says,... for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. God s power is more than enough for this. But if we re going to think differently, then we have to become aware. You know, my mom really battled depression. And in my life I ve found... Exactly! You just noticed a pattern of thinking in your mom that you have discovered in yourself. If you re ready for some more good news, read this. Because in Deuteronomy 5:9 10, you ll see God s grace... visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments. Isn t that good news!? So, maybe you re in a place where you want to follow and honor God, and break off the chains of generational sin in your family. You re saying, I want to do everything I can to make sure that I get victory over generational sin, so my kids don t struggle with the things I struggled with, and so, when I m off of this earth, my grandkids won t be battling the same things themselves

17 What are those strongholds? Well, they re a type of generational sin I like to call crutches: 1. SUBSTANCE ABUSE This means turning to medication to numb one s ability to feel pain. But because substance abuse blocks pain, it blocks the very God-given thing that gets us to a better place. 2. MATERIALISM If you grew up with My stuff! My stuff! My stuff!, materialism could be a stronghold in your life. As I often say, it s not wrong to have things, but if those things have you, that s a stronghold. 3. GLUTTONY Maybe you grew up in a home where everything revolved around eating, or food was used to provide comfort. So you ate, ate, and ate. You see, even food can be a stronghold. 4. LUST That s a clear category. 5. SELFISHNESS This is a mindset that says, We just do what s best for us. That s a stronghold. And no one s life is better for it. So, are you in favor of thinking differently? I hope your answer is yes. Always remember, God has not given you a spirit of fear. For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7). He wants you living free, but to be able to do that, strongholds have to be broken. Yet, it can be hard because we all want to do what comes naturally when it comes to taking them down. But here s the truth... There is no one-size-fits-all approach to tearing down strongholds. Doing what feels right isn t always right. A few years ago I preached a sermon called Always Resolve Everything Now. I wouldn t preach that series again. Not because I don t believe that anymore, but because I now see those sermons as a reflection of my disposition. Yes, we should resolve everything as quickly as we can. But some things can t be resolved, and resolution isn t always best

18 You see, the highest law is love and I would now say Always Resolve Everything Now As Much As You Can Without Violating the Law of Love. But because that s too long of a title, I ll have to work something else out. But do you get it? What I m trying to make clear is that there is no one size fits all. You and I can walk with God today. We can trust God for the wisdom to think differently and do what the situation warrants that represents His heart to love and to advance His purposes for reconciliation. Now, you might be saying to yourself, Well, my problem isn t the generational stuff. I just don t see that at all. And my problem isn t conflict resolution. My problem is that my family just didn t ever really WORK well. My home? I mean... we didn t ever get the bills paid. It seemed like there were job changes all the time. We kept moving, moving, and moving. Our family just could never seem to get traction out of the mud of life. We never even got OUT on the main road. It was just one problem after another. Father, thank You for this precious child. Thank You, God, for their humility and teachability. And now they re coming before You with open hearts, saying, O God, please destroy these strongholds in my life! I fall into them. I slip and stumble toward them. They re just where I seem to end up, God. But I believe You have something better for me, something higher for me, my family, and the generations to come. I ask that You would break these strongholds; that You would tear down these ways of thinking; that You would make me alert to when I m headed in the wrong direction. Help me stop and remember, That s not who I am. That s not what is true. That is not what I believe is right. I m not going there again. I want something different. And with You helping me, God, I m choosing to have it. Help us to take every thought captive. Friend, that s a stronghold. That is a stronghold of bad decision-making. Help us to destroy the lofty opinions that make us think we deserve our strongholds. So if you ve discovered some generational strongholds that need to be broken, I want to pray for you. Help us to destroy the arguments and reasons we have for justifying what we do

19 Thank You that we have a Savior who is alive, risen from the dead, and moving in our midst by His Spirit. Thank You that He is greater than he who is in the world. Thank You that we can know Your victory, power, and strength because You are alive, and because You live to make intercession for us. We pray this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen. QUESTION 1: Have you discovered any crutches in your life? List them, remembering God wants to set you free!

20 QUESTION 2: Have you thought about what your parents and grandparents struggled with? If possible, it might be good to have a talk with them and discover the inclinations you may have today as a result of what they dealt with growing up

21 CHAPTER 4 Destroying The Strongholds Of Family Dysfunction Pt. 2 I pray that the Lord has been speaking to you and that with every page you re reading, another stronghold is being torn down by the power of Jesus Christ. Deuteronomy 24 taught us that God doesn t punish anyone for their parents or grandparents sins. But He also says in Deuteronomy 5:9,... for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments. Here s the good news I want you know from that verse... These generational chains can break. Patterns of thinking can change. I don t know what was going on in your home growing up. Maybe there were some raised voices or deadly silences. Maybe things got broken, or there was inappropriate physical contact. I d like to look at five other areas of generational sin that can contribute to generational strongholds

22 1. I HAVE, THEREFORE I AM. In some families, the parents purchase, polish, and parade what they have so much that their kids grow up thinking that happiness is stuff. 2. I COUNT PENNIES, THEREFORE I M SAFE. It isn t always the person who s spending a lot that has the stronghold. Sometimes it s just the opposite. I knew a guy a few years ago who, every year, said, This year my wife and I are living on ten percent less than last year. Really? Well, that s awesome if you need to do that. I don t know if he actually did or didn t, but by the time he had done it six, seven, or eight years in a row, I wanted to say, Can we talk to your wife to see how this is going? And then there are people with similar mindsets who say, We don t spend ANYTHING. I bought this coat in 1981 and it s as good as the day I bought it! No, it isn t, and that s a bit freaky! You see, the haves can be smug and polished, parading their stuff. But the have-nots can still be consumed with the money-matters-most strongholds. 3. I COVET, THEREFORE I RESENT. Exodus 20:17 says, Thou shalt not covet, yet we do. And we see what people have, and we think we have to have it. That s a stronghold and can have a terrible impact on the way we interact with people. 4. I M CONTENT, THEREFORE I M SUPERIOR. Again the opposite, We don t need anything. I think I ve said plenty about that twisted self-sufficiency. 5. I COMPARE, THEREFORE I BORROW. Some people compare and then they think, We have to catch up. So they spend money they don t have in order to get what they don t need. To pull all of this together, I m going back to the strongholds in our disposition to look at how they relate to generational sin. Remember cholerics? They tend to practice discordant thinking. They see conflict as a barrier to getting things done. If you re a choleric, you may have a lot of conflict in your life, and you might not even know it s there. Choler

23 ics are oppositional, defiant, and don t have any problem standing up to anybody about anything. The sanguine is very different from the choleric, though they are both extroverts. Sanguines are impulsive thinkers who can be fun, playful, and enjoyable, but their moods turn fast. So they are a little more intermittently explosive and have weaker self-control. weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. At the center are strongholds, arguments, and lofty opinions, so let s locate those things quickly in each of the temperaments. The phlegmatic is neither discordant nor impulsive, but anxious. While we all have to get victory over worry, the phlegmatic person is battling anxiety to a higher degree. Lastly, melancholy individuals have depressive thinking. They have highs and lows, and can even battle dysthymia, which is intermittent or major depression. Now, I want you to keep in mind your primary and secondary dispositions. I m sanguine/choleric. My wife is choleric/phlegmatic. The phlegmatic never wants to admit they re anything so if you don t know what you are, you re probably phlegmatic. But in the center of it all goes the word sin. All problems in your life, your family, and the world are the result of sin. The choleric s stronghold is anger. He s willful and quick to argue, I won t. If you re a choleric, you feel adrenaline when anger goes out which makes you think you re fixing something, when in reality, you re probably making it worse. Now, this is where it gets important. 2 Corinthians 10:5 declares, We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. What fortifies a stronghold is bad theology a wrong belief about God. The choleric justifies the stronghold of anger with the argument, I won t and they re lofty opinion is, God is not just. I have to take care of this. So let s talk about how sin manifests itself in each disposition. Keep in mind 2 Corinthians 10:4 5: For the But if you struggle with those thoughts, you are wrong. God loves you, and you can wait on Him. He s not going

24 to let you down. So the thinking for the choleric has to be changed to humility. And that doesn t mean simply acting humble. The truly humble person is not thinking about themselves at all; they re thinking about others. The sanguine s stronghold is foolishness. While the choleric says, I won t, the sanguine says, I want. A sanguine s bad theology is that God is not sufficient and not enough. I need more, God, and I can t be happy until... What the sanguine desperately needs is the wisdom of God s Word. The phlegmatic s stronghold is not the choleric s anger or the sanguine s foolishness, but fear. Instead of I won t or I want, the phlegmatic is saying, I can t. That s the internal self-talk for them. not good, that can become a stronghold so quickly, and what you desperately need is hope. Will you think about how these brief sketches apply to your life? May God guide us as we continue on this journey to think differently. QUESTION 1: Do you know the wrong theologies and arguments you have against God? If not, take some time to pray about them. God will show you the areas of thinking that need to change. The phlegmatic s bad theology is that God is not sovereign or in control. Just as the choleric needs humility and the sanguine needs wisdom, the phlegmatic needs trust. Lastly, the melancholy s thought process is, I doubt. As a result, despair is the stronghold and God is not good is the bad theology characterizing this personality type. But here s the truth. The Bible says again and again that the Lord is good, and that His steadfast love endures forever. If you allow yourself to believe the lie that God is

25 QUESTION 2: Have you struggled with strongholds of selfishishness or deception? Do any specific memories come to mind relating to these strongholds creating significant problems?

26 CHAPTER 5 In this chapter, we re going to start discussing how to really change the way we think. It starts with getting rid of double-mindedness. James 1:8 says, A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. Double-mindedness always wants two things that can t coexist. Ending Double- Mindedness I want a good marriage AND I want to be selfish. I want my private addiction AND I want a growing relationship with God. I want my impulsive purchase at the mall AND I want to steward my finances. I want my anger AND I want deep relationships. I want my fear AND I want peace. You see, all of those statements are examples of double-mindedness. So let s focus on a couple of applications from James 1:8. Notice first of all that there are double-minded people and they are everywhere. We re not off-topic here. There is double-mindedness in all of us. We want two things that can t coexist so we have to start thinking differently about them. Notice also that double-mindedness creates instability

27 and, most significantly, it affects EVERYTHING. Maybe you re thinking, Well, I might make a bad financial decision, but I would NEVER do anything to hurt my family. But truthfully, you actually are, and we can all fall into that trap. I don t know where you are today reading this. I don t know your story and the hardships you may have suffered in your past. But I am appealing to you because I care about you. If you would, pray right now, God, show me an area of double-mindedness in my life, and help me eliminate it. I KNOW that if you ll do that, you ll be happier for it and God will bless you. Just remember, you have to want to think differently. I can t do that for you. If I could make you want to think differently, I d do it in a heartbeat! But in the end, you re the one choosing how to think about everything going on in your life. Someone once said (and I keep repeating this) life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you choose to deal with it or think about it. So truly, nothing is different without thinking differently. You have to want it and hope for it. Understand, when you ve lost hope, you ve lost everything. There is nothing after no hope. Here s a definition of the word hope... The confident expectation of something better tomorrow. That s why we re Christians because Christians know that, no matter how many peaks and valleys we go through in our lives, we re headed toward a massive, forever celebration. The world sees only a hopeless end, but we have an endless hope. Not just hope regarding eternity, but also about God meeting needs, answering prayer, carrying burdens, relieving you and me of sin, changing our lives, and daily increasing our joy on the journey to that eternity. But here s the harsh reality Christians can lose hope. That s why thinking differently is crucial. Because when you stop hoping for something better and different, it is definitely not coming. So why do people stop hoping? Here are three reasons why it can happen:

28 1. WE STOP HOPING BECAUSE IT IS A HASSLE TO HOPE. You get up in the morning. You get into God s Word. You spend some time in prayer. You get your focus for the day. You walk into your school, work, or whatever you do, and you re super positive. You re fired up and trusting God because you have your focus. Then someone shows up and says, What s wrong with you? You have some hope, and then they just suck the hope right out of you. Have you ever experienced that? Just when you get yourself in a place of faith and trusting God, somebody comes along and goes right after it. You see, it can be a hassle to hope. 2. WE STOP HOPING BECAUSE IT IS HARD. Hope isn t the default position. Would you agree with that? You have to work on hope, and it can be hard. Nobody has to work at being negative, and hopelessness can just show up, right? So you have to work at hope. You have to discipline your mind and if you re not careful, for example in regards to people, you can lose hope in them and get critical. The Bible says in Proverbs 13:12, Hope deferred makes the heart sick. What I m trying to show you is that when you give up hope, you give up so much. Hope is protecting God s best future for you. 3. WE STOP HOPING BECAUSE IT HURTS TO HOPE. This is the biggest reason. When I hope, I make myself vulnerable to being disappointed. When I hope, I expose my heart to people letting me down. Inevitably that happens, and it hurts. Some of you are hoping or were hoping for God to do something in one of your kids, for example, but you haven t seen it. Now you re not praying anymore, and you ve hardened your heart. Why did you give up? Because it can hurt to hope, wait, and pray. But can you see that it hurts even more not to? Can you see the bad that results when you don t even care anymore, or when you re not asking or seeking or knocking or praying? Do you see that s worse? So let s bring it full circle. To think differently, you have to want to, or rather, hope to. But you also have to take action that reinforces that desire. You can say forever that you want to think differently. But to actually change

29 the way you think takes action. Are you willing to take some action physically in order to display the change in yourself spiritually? Some of the hardest, most courageous decisions are the ones involving taking the action necessary to get to a place where you can think differently. Jesus Himself said, Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and not do what I tell you? (Luke 6:46). You not only need to want and hope to think differently, but you also need to do something in order to make it happen. Let s start with first things first. Have you made the decision to follow Jesus Christ? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is God s Son? Do you believe that He died to pay the penalty for your sin? If you do believe that, you have to take action about it. But perhaps you ve been hanging around the edge. You ve been on-and-off, in-and-out not really a devoted follower of Jesus. The best thing you could do right now, wherever you may be reading this, is to end that double-mindedness and give your life to Jesus. If that s you, you don t have to wait another second. Just go to Him right now and tell Him, God, I m here to make myself right with You. I m going to follow You. Romans 10:9 says, If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. There s no reason to put this off. Your double-mindedness has been making you unstable in everything, but today you can take that first step towards thinking differently. You can revive your hope, refresh your spirit, and become a new creation in Christ. Trust Him as Savior and confess Him publically as Lord just as He commanded. And if you have already done that, then I want to encourage you to prayerfully seek God about areas in your life where you ve been double-minded. He s there, waiting for you, longing to help you think differently and show you the areas of your life where He wants to do a work

30 QUESTION 1: What are two things you want right now that can t coexist? Trust me, nothing good comes from double-mindedness! QUESTION 2: Have you believed and confessed Jesus Christ as Lord? It s the most important decision of your life and the catalyst to thinking differently

31 CHAPTER 6 We ve explored some pretty broad categories. There are the strongholds in our disposition, having to do with the way we re bent. Then there are strongholds from the home we grew up in generational sin. Wouldn t it be easy if we could blame our strongholds in our disposition on God or our parents? But we ve been building to this truth, and I hope you re ready to hear it: Strongholds of My Own Making Strongholds get built through our own behavior. That s reality. Regardless of your bent or where you were born, it all comes down to this: I am building or destroying the strongholds in my life. The reason I belabor that is because there is immense cultural emphasis on, Well, that s just the way I am. You have to know the home I grew up in. And yet, the weight biblically is not on those things. Yes, they re real and they do affect us, but the driving force behind the strongholds that trip us up and take us down is our own behavior. You re about to see that illustrated in the life of Jacob. He was born with a bent, and he certainly grew up in a very dysfunctional family. But if life is ten percent what

32 happens to you and ninety percent how you choose to deal with it, Jacob used up most of his ninety percent! And now, God is about to confront the strongholds in Jacob s life with the biblical principle of sowing and reaping. Galatians 6:7 says, For whatever one sows, that will he also reap. Throughout history, generations and civilizations have observed this unalterable principle that God installed into human behavior: Strongholds reveal themselves in our lives as we begin to reap what we have sown. Genesis 28:1 says, Then Isaac called Jacob and blessed him and directed him, You must not take a wife from the Canaanite women. Arise, go to Paddan-aram to the house of Bethuel your mother s father, and take as your wife from there one of the daughters of Laban your mother s brother. In Genesis 29 Jacob leaves home to get a wife, and in verse 4, he arrives at his destination and sees some men by a well. He greets them, My brothers, where do you come from? They said, We are from Haran. He said to them, Do you know Laban the son of Nahor? They said, We know him. He said to them, Is it well with him? They said, It is well; and see, Rachel his daughter is coming with the sheep!... Now as soon as Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother s brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother s brother, Jacob came near and rolled the stone (That was covering up the well)... Then Jacob kissed Rachel and wept aloud (29:4 6, 10 11). Now, realize this isn t a Wow! I think I m going to marry you kiss. This is a Wow! I can t believe I found my family kiss. So much so, that here comes her father in verses As soon as Laban heard the news about Jacob, his sister s son, he ran to meet him and embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his house. Jacob told Laban all these things, and Laban said to him, Surely you are my bone and my flesh! And he stayed with him a month. So now Jacob has been there for thirty days making eyes at Laban s youngest daughter, Rachel. And Laban s not stupid, so he says to Jacob in verses 15 17, Because you are my kinsman, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be? (Which was a pretty clever way of saying, You need to start working. ) Now Laban had two daughters. The name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah s eyes were weak... It s important to note here that when the Bible wants to say something, it frequently will say it carefully. I don t even know if they had glasses back then, but they re saying a lot more about Leah here than the fact that she didn t have the best eyesight

33 In verses we read, Leah s eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance. Jacob loved Rachel. And he said, I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel. Laban said, It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to any other man; stay with me. So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her. This is interesting because Jacob has never really worked or waited for anything up until this point. Remember, this is the same Jacob who tricked his dad, Isaac, into thinking he was Esau so that he could receive the firstborn s blessing. But finally later in life, he finds this woman to work for. And he is not cutting corners. He is not cheating, lying, or deceiving but is doing it all the right way. things to happen to advance His purposes? Yes, He does, and I believe that God wanted Jacob to experience what Esau and others had experienced at the hands of his lying and deceiving. Jacob reaped what he had sown all his life. Genesis 29:25 says, And in the morning, behold (Can you even imagine?), it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban, What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me? And right in that second Why then have you deceived me? Jacob realized, It s happened. I am reaping what I have sown. I am feeling what I have made others feel. The stronghold was revealed. Now, watch what happens after the seven years. Then Jacob said to Laban, Give me my wife that I may go in to her, for my time is completed. So Laban gathered together all the people of the place and made a feast. But in the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and he went in to her (29:21 23). That s the kind of stuff when you read about it in the Bible, you think to yourself, That could NOT have happened. But let me ask you a question. Does God ever allow improbable So Laban goes on to explain and makes a deal with Jacob that if he ll work another seven years, he ll give Rachel to him the next week. So Jacob agreed. But what s interesting is that Jacob doesn t say another word. And I believe the reason for that is because Jacob is crushed with the realization, like Hosea says, Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind (Hosea 8:7). It all came back upon Jacob. And now, I want to ask you, how will you rise up and break the chains, the strongholds, for the next generation?

34 Because here s the truth... Strongholds blow up through our own decisions. This is an immense opportunity to see God s transforming power released in YOUR life. Remember... Nothing is different until we think differently. Discovering your strongholds is the first step to destroying them, and though it s hard, it begins the journey that leads to freedom. Because here s the harsh reality if you don t: Strongholds can grow up in the behavior of your loved ones. Let s go back to Jacob years later. At this point in his story, he s packing up to get out of town with his wives and family under cover of night. Why? Because he had been lying and trying to deceive Laban, and now he s running away before Laban can get back at him. But notice in Genesis 31:19, Rachel stole her father s household gods. So from this verse we can see that Laban s family were pagans. And how much spiritual impact is Jacob having on his wife that she is willing to leave with him, yet wants to take her father s gods with her? Apparently, not much. When Laban realizes what s happened, we read, And Laban overtook Jacob, (31:25) and he s looking for these idols. Laban searches everywhere throughout the camp and finally goes into his daughter s tent. Rachel is sitting on the idols, and Laban tells her to get up. And she said to her father, Let not my lord be angry that I cannot rise before you, for the way of women is upon me. So he searched but did not find the household gods (31:35). Rachel was born to a liar. Rachel was married to a liar. And what does she become? A liar. Do you see how the strongholds spread? Know this... If nothing else scares us into destroying the strongholds in our lives, seeing them in our loved ones should. If we don t make the hard decisions to think differently, that story in so many hurtful and destructive ways is going to be our kids and grandkids stories. But the strongholds have now been detected. And in this next chapter, we re going to start destroying them!

35 QUESTION 1: Are there any strongholds in your life that QUESTION 2: In what ways has your behavior built the you have noticed in your loved ones? Listen, it s never strongholds you ve discovered in your life? too late for you to change nor is it too late for you to help those around you change for God s glory

36 7 When Strongholds Start To Crumble So now you might be thinking to yourself, Man! When will I start actually destroying these strongholds? Well, we re about to, and the reason it s taken this long is because I wanted you to have a very clear sense of the specific strongholds you are battling. Let s go to Genesis 32:1 3 where something very significant happens in the life of Jacob and changes everything: Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him. And when Jacob saw them he said, This is God s camp! So he called the name of that place Mahanaim. And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother in the land of Seir, the country of Edom... Jacob is going back home, to the land that God had promised to him, and he is about to run into his brother from whom he had stolen the birthright and firstborn blessing. Two decades or more have passed, and he knows this isn t going to be easy. And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother in the land of Seir, the country of Edom, instructing them, Thus you shall say to my lord Esau: Thus says your servant Jacob, I have sojourned with Laban and stayed until now. I have oxen, donkeys, flocks, male servants, and female servants. I have sent to tell my lord, in order that I may find favor in your sight (32:3 5)

37 In other words, Jacob s doing it again. He doesn t humble himself; he doesn t say, I m sorry. He doesn t send back some kind of payment for what he stole. He just says, I m rich and I m coming back. Genesis 32:6 says, And the messengers returned to Jacob, saying, We came to your brother Esau, and he is coming to meet you, and there are four hundred men with him. only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come and attack me, the mothers with the children. But you said, I will surely do you good (Jacob is reminding God of His promises in how He would multiply him), and make your offspring as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude (32:9 12). How does that sound like good news or bad news? Definitely bad news! Verses 7 8: Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed. (So watch what he does here due to the strongholds in his thinking.) He divided the people who were with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps, thinking, If Esau comes to the one camp and attacks it, then the camp that is left will escape. Are those acceptable or unacceptable casualties? Those are completely unacceptable! I mean, this is unbelievable, right? But then here comes his prayer... And Jacob said, O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O Lord who said to me, Return to your country and to your kindred, that I may do you good, (this is probably the best part of the prayer) I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with So he stayed there that night, and from what he had with him he took a present for his brother Esau (Jacob is about to make a deal), two hundred female goats and twenty male goats (remember that this is their currency), two hundred ewes and twenty rams, thirty milking camels and their calves, forty cows and ten bulls, twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. These he handed over to his servants, every drove by itself... (Jacob divides his servants into these groups called droves and says to them) Pass on ahead of me and put a space between drove and drove. He instructed the first, When Esau my brother meets you... (32:13 17). So here comes Esau with four hundred men. And here come these little separated caravans of servants and gifts with Jacob. He s thinking that Esau wants to rip him apart, so he s going to give him gift after gift. Genesis 32:20 21: For he thought, (Do you see it s just his thinking?) I may

38 appease him with the present that goes ahead of me, and afterward I shall see his face. Perhaps he will accept me. So the present passed on ahead of him, and he himself stayed that night in the camp. Are strongholds there? Yes. Nothing s changed yet in Jacob. But it s all about to. The same night he arose and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, and everything else that he had (32:22 23). So Jacob sends them all across the river, and Jacob was left alone (32:24). This is key, because God is about to confront him. Note that God doesn t often confront us until we are by ourselves. So let me ask you... When was the last time you spent some time alone with God and felt the weight of all that He is? A month ago? Maybe a year ago? I can t stress enough the importance of getting alone with God. Trust me, I understand it can be hard, but when you make time for Him, demands cease, distractions end, quiet invades, reflection starts, and the Almighty God Himself speaks. Sometimes we don t get alone with God because we sense that He is going to say something that we don t want to hear. But friend, that is completely a lie from the enemy. Every word that God speaks gives life, encourages, and births hope within our hearts, even when it s corrective. Don t avoid Him. Run to Him. He s waiting with open arms. Now getting back to the passage, in verse 24 we read, And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. Now, this is not just any man. The word man here is translated in the Hebrew to the word ish [pronounced eesh], which could also be translated, warrior.... a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, (You re about to read the first indication of who this man is.) he touched his hip socket, and Jacob s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him (32:24 25). First of all, the hip socket is one of the strongest joints in the body. You couldn t just fall and accidentally get your hip socket out of joint. It takes two very strong opposing

39 forces like the force generated by a car accident. And it is one of the most painful injuries that a person can experience. I m so thankful that we serve a God who s never in a hurry and whose love for us is patient, gentle, and kind. And now here is the warrior. I m going to show you that this man is actually God Himself. He touched his hip socket, and Jacob s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, Let me go, for the day has broken. Some Bible scholars believe that, because no one has seen God at any time, the fact that this man left before light came is an indication of who it is. And then in verse 26, Jacob says, I will not let you go unless you bless me. That s the prerogative of deity. You don t ask just anyone, Hey! Will you bless me? So that s an interesting thing to say if it was just a man. And he said to him, What is your name? And he said, Jacob. Then he said, Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God (32:27 28). Who was he wrestling? Who confronted him? It was God! Jesus Christ, the Second Person of the Trinity. And it s amazing because even though they wrestled through the night, you can still see the gentleness of God. I mean, why doesn t He just pin Jacob down and tap him out? It s because He s gentle. Now, in this Scripture, we read how the Man (Jesus) asked Jacob for his name. Do you think the Lord already knew his name? Of course He did! So why s He asking him? To understand this, you have to first understand that naming kids back then was not the same as it is now. The way it was in Bible times was that you either got a name that was positive because your parents hoped and prayed that you would become that. Or you got a name that was negative because, above all things, that was the stronghold they wanted you to avoid. Jacob means cheater, liar, and sketchy-dealmaker guy. So the Lord asks Jacob as he s on the ground in pain, What is your name? And he said, Jacob. Then he said, Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel (This is awesome.), for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed. Then Jacob asked him, Please tell me your name. But he said, Why is it that you ask my name? And there he blessed him (32:27 29). Do you see the grace? So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel (the face of God), saying, For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered (32:30)

40 Everything is changing here. Jacob is never going to be the same. The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip (32:31). Once he was Jacob, but now he is Israel with a permanent reminder of the miracle God performed in his life. So what are you going to do? I want to challenge you to take some time and wrestle with God about the strongholds in your life. I m challenging you to stop letting your strongholds define you. I m challenging you to yield to God, let Him prevail, and be marked for the rest of your life by Him. Because when you allow God s victory to take hold in your life, it becomes your victory just like that wrestling match became Jacob s. QUESTION 1: When was the last time you spent significant alone time with God? What needs to change for this to increase? QUESTION 2: Have you ever been afraid of what God might say when you open yourself up to Him? Listen, if so, that s a stronghold of fear and a lie from the enemy that must be destroyed

41 CHAPTER 8 Repentance Breaks Strongholds You might be wondering to yourself now, Okay, I see what God does, but what exactly am I supposed to do? The answer to that question is in the phrase, I repent. In the New Testament, the Greek word for repentance is actually metanoia. And the word actually means a change of mind. It s the word most frequently used in both the Old and New Testaments for thinking differently. This is the most concentrated teaching in all of God s Word on the subject of repentance. And let me say right now that the goal of this teaching is that you would repent. But everything I m going to challenge you to do, I have done. Everything I m going to call upon you to do and respond to, I have as well. Be assured, I don t believe in practicing what you preach. I believe in preaching what you practice. And I want you to join me at this awesome place of repentance, a place that I have come to believe is not one we simply visit, but a place where we live. In 2 Corinthians 7:8 11 Paul says, For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt

42 a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. That s what repentance does it brings cleansing. And God s heart is that we would be tenderhearted, easily submissive, and quickly responsive to the workings of His Spirit. Repentance is truly a gift from God. The most dangerous thing a follower of Jesus can say is, I ll repent when I m ready because I m not finished with this sin yet. Do you have any idea how hazardous that is? Only God can bring you to a place of repentance, and I m going to biblically substantiate that claim. 2 Timothy 2:25 says,... correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth... Do you see it? You can harden your heart, expecting to soften it with the flip of a switch when you re ready, but according to Genesis 6:3, Then the Lord said, My Spirit shall not abide in man forever... Listen; this is serious. It s possible to come to a place where God s not even trying to do that in your life anymore. You can t just put off repentance. If you ve never given your life to Jesus Christ, turn from your sin this moment and embrace Christ by faith for your forgiveness and receive the free gift of eternal life. But if you have made that decision, Hebrews 10:26 29 says this: For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. (That s the way it was in the Old Testament.) How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? Judgment has to begin at the house of God. We are people who are supposed to be prolific in our repentance. I don t want to rebuke you. I don t want to hurt your heart, but listen to what He says about this matter of the church in Revelation 2:5, Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent

43 Those are words straight from the mouth of our Savior. He also says in Revelation 3:19, Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Zealous is the idea of put your energy into it; put your passion into getting to a fresh, deeper, vibrant place with the Lord. Right now, you may be someone who has known Jesus for thirty or forty years. But is this how you re going to finish? Just kind of going through the motions, limping into heaven? I don t want that. I want to listen better, think higher, love more, and give God easier access to every area of my life as my days grow fewer and fewer. Let me give you a definition of repentance: A recognition of sin followed by heartfelt sorrow culminating in a change of behavior. And here are the fruits of this kind of thinking differently: 1. GRIEF OVER SIN. 2 Corinthians 7:9 10 says, For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. That word grief, lupeo, is used twenty-six times in the New Testament, and half of those usages are in 2 Corinthians. This word grief literally means soul anguish. It s what the disciples felt when Jesus announced His crucifixion in Matthew 17:23. Now, what does worldly grief produces death mean? Do you see that phrase at the end of verse 10? It doesn t mean physical death, or there would be no distinction between worldly grief and godly grief. Paul s not talking about the first death, which is physical; he s talking about the second death the lake of fire. Paul is talking about hell. And a lifetime of shallow worldly repentance leads to hell. That s a lifetime of, Sorry, God. Whoops! I did it again. I just always do it. Listen to 2 Corinthians 3:18: And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. I always say, Not perfectly, but increasingly we are becoming conformed to the image of Jesus

44 2. REPULSION TOWARD SIN. 2 Corinthians 7:11 says, For see what earnestness... Earnestness means haste; hurry; diligence. Do you remember that show that used to be on television called Fear Factor? I had to stop watching it because they would always have some crazy thing at the end of the show. They did all these cool competitions, but then at the end they had to eat five gopher eyes or something. It would just sicken me, and then I thought, I can t un-see that. So I just never watched it again. That s exactly what repentance is like. But of course in all sin there s deception. And because Satan is an angel of light, he makes things glitter and glow, but repentance is detecting the rationalizations that allowed you to see something as attractive that is actually ultimately and eternally ugly. 3. RESTITUTION TOWARD OTHERS. Right here in the text in 2 Corinthians 7:11, Paul says,... what punishment! The New American Standard version translates punishment as avenging of wrong. When true repentance happens, we are immediately concerned with the people we have hurt. Now, we don t burden people with our confession. You don t go to your wife and say, Let me just tell you what I ve been doing, then go on and tell her every detail. Love covers. 4. REVIVAL TOWARD GOD. That s what is meant by 2 Corinthians 7:11:... what fear, what longing, what zeal... Repentance stokes a firedup relationship with God. Mercy is showered upon you, grace is received, forgiveness is experienced, and new disciplines are established. 5. MOVING FORWARD WITHOUT LOOKING BACK. Repentance is moving forward and not looking back. Notice in 2 Corinthians 7:9,... you suffered no loss through us. It s sorrow without regret and looking forward to the years that remain. A.W. Tozer said, Let us beware of vain and over-hasty repentance, and particularly let us beware of no repentance at all. Hell will be filled with people who prayed a prayer but never really repented of their sin. There has to be a turning from something before there is a believing in something else. Today, you can turn. Get alone, let God confront you, and repent. Don t wallow

45 in generalities. Let the Spirit of God prick your heart about something specific. Confess it and forsake it. In describing the prodigal son s return home, Luke 15:20 24 says, But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servants, Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to celebrate. Loved one, that is the heart of our Father God! Don t resist, rebel, or refuse His grace in your stubbornness. Let God shower you with His mercy in the beautiful place of repentance and start thinking differently. QUESTION 1: When have you dwelt in the awesome place of repentance? Remember, it s not something you do once and then you re done with it. It s a gift from God Himself that draws us closer to Him and helps us to think differently

46 QUESTION 2: Where do you want to be 5, 10, 30 years from now? Do you want to be struggling then with the same things you are now? What steps do you need to take to make change happen?

47 CHAPTER 9 So, we ve found our strongholds those fortified places and stubborn patterns of thinking that are resistant to God s Word and God s will. Then we let God confront us, and we ve repented. That s the crisis of thinking differently, but it s followed very quickly with the process, which brings with it the realization that this is a very tough thing. When You Fail To Think Differently Do This. When you ve been thinking a certain way not for weeks or for months, but for years and decades it can be easy to fall back into old patterns. So know this... Broken strongholds will battle to be rebuilt. Yes, they are torn down through repentance, but a daily decision still has to be made to think differently. I have to own it and take every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Simply letting God confront you and then repenting isn t the end. That s the crisis, but now comes the process. In fact, loved one, also note: When you fail in the process of thinking differently, you must return to the crisis of stronghold repentance

48 I can t say it any clearer than that. This could happen frequently maybe even several times a day. Where the trouble really comes is not how often you fall at first, but how long you stay down and justify it. Let s say you ve had a bitter heart toward someone. God s confronted you, you ve repented of your bitterness and un-forgiveness, and you ve chosen to forgive the person. And a day later, you re mad again, thinking about them the way you did before. In that exact moment, don t accept those old arguments. Don t accept the lofty opinions that are exalting themselves against the knowledge of God. Take every thought captive to obey Christ and say, I m not that person anymore. I m not going to think that way. is relentless in His pursuit of us. He loves us so deeply that He would rather see us anywhere than living in the grip of a stronghold. And He shows us that with Jacob. Genesis 35:1: God said to Jacob, Arise, go up to Bethel and dwell there. Make an altar there to the God who appeared to you when you fled from your brother Esau. So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him (here it is:), Put away the foreign gods that are among you and purify yourselves and change your garments. Then in Genesis 35:4, So they gave to Jacob all the foreign gods that they had, and the rings that were in their ears. Jacob hid them under the terebinth tree that was near Shechem. Listen, we ve all fallen back. I certainly have, and in Genesis 33, Jacob does too. When you fall back, do this... Remove stronghold supports from your life. There are things you have established and placed around your stronghold that help you continue to think the wrong way. That scaffolding has to be torn down, too. In Genesis 35, here comes God. Isn t He awesome? God So if you fall back, here are three questions that need to be answered: 1. WHERE DID I GO WRONG? 2. WHAT TRIPPED ME UP? 3. WHAT NEEDS TO BE REMOVED? Listen... Whatever feeds your stronghold must be put out of reach, or you won t think differently

49 At the end of the day, the battle is over what you believe about God. Ever since Satan attacked Eve s view of God in the Garden of Eden, wrong views of God have always led to wrong thinking, which leads to wrong behavior. You can t change your behavior if you don t change your thinking. And you won t change your thinking if you don t change your thinking about God. Romans 12:2 says,... be transformed by the renewal of your mind... by the Word of God. You have to step into the life that He has purchased for you, His child, through the sacrifice of His own Son, Jesus Christ. I was a senior in high school when I committed my life to Christ. I was serving the Lord in a student ministry. I was seeking the Lord on a regular basis for the first time in my life. I was falling in love with Kathy, with dreams of where I wanted to go with my life, but I kept falling backwards. But one day, I went to this youth rally where Tom Maharis spoke. There were about two hundred kids there, and he preached on the impact that evil music can make in your life. I don t want to get you drifting off into a bunch of bands that I could name, but I ll just say that what I was listening to was evil. And I m not just talking about sexual music though it was that it was more than that. And I would listen to it all for hours every day. Tom Maharis preached on this. He said that anyone who was ready to make a commitment that included a change of music choices should stand. And I was the only kid who stood. I didn t meet Maharis until fifteen years later. He said, I wondered why I even went there. Just one kid made a decision. But I was that kid and it changed my life. I went home and took all the music and posters I had and got rid of them. So much so that by the time my kids were in high school, I wouldn t even listen to a secular song. It s not an issue of any kind in my life now. And I praise God for that. But it took some radical obedience from me. I didn t judge others who didn t need to make the same decision, but I did need to because of what I was struggling with. Now, I m not telling you this so you ll do what I did; I m telling you this so that you ll ask yourself, What is that stronghold in my life? It may seem like a silly story in some ways now, but if you re stuck in a place where you re tough in your heart,

50 and your flesh seems stronger than your spirit, then you re struggling with strongholds instead of living in victory. You re falling back. So... Raise reminders to actually think differently. Take out the strongholds and destroy anything that was supporting them. And then put things in your life that will remind you to think differently. You could put something on the dashboard of your car. You could post something by your fridge. You could put something on your nightstand. But once you have raised that sacred reminder, review your identity and your calling in the Lord. Your view of God has to change, and your view of yourself has to change. Jacob fell back, and God s coming right at him, but first Jacob is going to have to see God differently and he does. Then God comes right at his identity. Jacob means deceiver, and do you remember what Israel means? It means you wrestled with God and won. Right theology and right identity. For decades maybe you have fought, arguing with God, or lying to get your way. And God took you down and laid you out. Well, like Jacob, you have to change your view of God and change your view of yourself. Watch what happens in Genesis 35:9 10: God appeared to Jacob again, when he came from Paddan-aram, and blessed him. And God said to him, Your name is Jacob; no longer shall your name be called Jacob, but Israel shall be your name. You are not a liar anymore. You have a new name. It s time to think differently. QUESTION 1: What stronghold supports do you need to remove from your life? How do you plan to do that? Wait, didn t that just happen? Yes it had, but God is so gracious that He will always come back when our own thinking slips, in order to remind us of what is true. And when God moves toward you, two things have to happen

51 QUESTION 2: help you think differently? What reminders do you need to raise to QUESTION 3: What is your view of God and yourself? How might either need to change? Be sure to align your heart and mind with the truths of God s Word

52 CHAPTER 10 Everything we ve learned and studied has led us to discovering how to renew your mind. Thinking differently means a continually renewed mind. But first I want to confess something to you. I was very excited to get into Jacob s life and study it. I feel like I ve learned a ton about Jacob, and I hope you have too. But I have to say that I am super disappointed in Jacob. How To Renew Your Mind Pt. 1 Abraham, his grandfather, was a flawed man, to be sure. He wasn t perfect, but he learned, and you could see evidence of him changing. Moses had struggles. He barely got any traction until he was eighty years old. But he finished in some amazing ways. And even though there were consequences for him at the end, he had changed. Now I don t know how you feel, but I ve spent my life studying these Bible characters, and they feel like friends to me. Even when I study David he had a massive blowout, committing adultery then murder to cover it up but he learned, he repented, and God got hold of his heart. There were consequences for his sin, but he experienced better days in his future. But to be honest, I m not sure if Jacob ever really got it

53 I have scoured these chapters in Genesis trying to find the I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back part. And I just have to say that I trust the Lord in everything, but Jacob s life is a warning that bad patterns of thinking can stay with you until death. Jacob could have engaged a lot more deeply in God s transforming power, but he didn t. The bad thinking is there until the end, which leads to me to this strong conclusion... Sin not removed and pain not resolved will always plague your intentions to think differently. I wish I could be with you personally right now and say this to you. But if you have sin in your life that you haven t removed, and if you have pain in your life that you haven t resolved, it will always plague your best intentions to think differently. Let s start with Sin not removed. What do I mean by that? I mean the sexual sin, lying, and deceiving that was going on in Jacob s life that he didn t do anything about. Let s learn how to remove it. Please realize that this whole thinking differently thing is a huge waste of time if you don t remove sin in your life. Otherwise, you re going to be just like Jacob. There are three things you must do in order to keep this from happening RELENT! 2. REPENT! 3. REMOVE! That s it. 1. RELENT: YOU RE RIGHT, GOD. 2. REPENT: I M WRONG, GOD. 3. REMOVE: TAKE THE SOURCE OF SIN TO THE STREET. Romans 13:14 says, Make no provision for the flesh. You have to get serious about victory instead of sourcing your sin. I want to show you another story from Genesis to illustrate this truth scripturally. In Genesis 4, we see the results of the Fall as we read about Adam and Eve s children, Cain and Abel. They re offering sacrifices to God, but Cain s offering is rejected. Yet his brother s offering gets accepted, and Cain is angry about it

54 Then in Genesis 4:6, The Lord said to Cain, Why are you angry...? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it. Cain chose not to do well, and his stronghold led him to kill his brother. That is true for you, me, and every other person in this world. We have an enemy who wants strongholds protected and wants to take your life and my life down. This is as real as real gets. You have to take radical action to relent, repent, and remove. Know this... Listen, if your sin isn t removed, and your pain isn t resolved, you re just an accident waiting to happen. I so wish that wasn t true, but here comes the good news. What s incredible about the story of Jacob is that while his deficiencies are apparent and hardly ever seem to diminish in his life, the immense constancy of God never waivers. In every chapter and in every paragraph, God is there. In spite of Jacob s stubborn strongholds, God s steadfast love was constant. Sin not removed will inevitably return and, with a vengeance, it will ruin you. Now, let s go over some things we do instead of removing sin that we think is removing sin. The first is setting sin aside. We set it aside on a sunny day when we re feeling good, but we don t radically remove it. And then when the storm comes, we run right back to that sin. So now, let s go over how to resolve the pain. As I ve studied this, and thought and prayed about it, there are three things I want to show you regarding pain: 1. NAME IT! When you come to a place where you really want to think differently, call it something different. The second is stuff it down. But trying to stuff sin down is futile, unhealthy, and doesn t last. Then lastly, we seek a replacement. But when we replace one addiction with another, it s not removed; it s simply a scenery change and the sin is still there. You don t have to call it my cancer; start calling it my every day counts. You don t have to call it my betrayal; start calling it my eyes were opened. You don t have to call it my bankruptcy; start calling it my new value system

55 You don t have to call it my divorce; start calling it my new wisdom restart. Name the grace that covers it and not the sin that caused it. When he visited our home, he was far from God. I remember him sitting in my basement and pouring out his story of grief, bitterness, and anger. He had left God and was living in the world. His life and family were a mess. 2. GRIEVE IT! You can t leave it until you grieve it. I sound like one of those catchy talker guys, but please don t focus on the rhyme. I m not trying to crank you up in some moment of inspiration. I m trying to instruct you from the things that I see in God s Word. 3. LEAVE IT! Lastly, don t stuff or try to hide sin, but leave it. The blood of Jesus Christ covers all sin. So choose to live in no other reality than the one your Father in heaven declares over you. This is so important. Well, when I had been on staff at Arlington Free Church, we had invited Larnelle Harris to come and sing. You may not know who that is, but I played one of his songs in that moment. Here are the lyrics... In It After All So You were in it after all All of those moments I spent crying When something inside of me was dying I didn t know that You heard me Each time I called You had a reason for those trials It seems I grew stronger every mile Now I know You were in it after all In 1990, a lifelong friend of mine and his wife visited Kathy and me in Chicago while we were living in Arlington Heights. They came to our house, and they brought a couple with them. Interestingly, I had known the man in the couple when I was a little boy, but I hadn t seen this in guy over thirty years. I didn t know anything about his wife or his story, but it became very apparent. I put that song on the stereo, and this guy wept like I d hardly ever seen a man weep. He was crushed by the reality that in all of the pain and in all of the disappointment, God was there in the middle of it. Right then he rededicated his life to the Lord. His wife came to know Christ, and his kids gave their lives to Christ

56 He went to seminary and became a pastor! But then he fell in love with another woman, going right back into the world and losing it all. You have to remove the sin. QUESTION 2: What pain have you not resolved? QUESTION 1: your life? You have to resolve the pain. If you don t, you ll never think differently. What sin have you not removed from Go back over the steps for each of those two questions in this chapter and prayerfully seek God s wisdom for each of them

57 11 How To Renew Your Mind Pt. 2 As we considered in the last chapter, in spite of all the grace, time, and opportunities that were given him to change, Jacob didn t. And here s the worst part: He always thought that he was going to. We finished up studying Jacob in Genesis 35. Genesis 36 is about Esau, and Genesis 37 begins the story of Joseph. What Genesis 37:3 says about Jacob is interesting. Remember, his name got changed to Israel... Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons (That s the same problem his parents had. And now here s Jacob, struggling with the same stronghold.), because he was the son of his old age. And he made him a robe of many colors... (Then here s the big problem in verse 11.) And his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the saying in mind. His brothers go on to sell Joseph as a slave to Egypt, but God still uses the dysfunction of this family, because He s in it all. And years later, Joseph gets elevated to be the Number Two over all of Egypt under Pharaoh. It s an incredible story. Now, this Pharaoh isn t like the president in that there s no congress or Supreme Court to balance power. There aren t any elections. So you can imagine just how much power Joseph had being the Number Two. He ended up