RYNJ CALENDAR. 4:10 pm December 5, פרשת וישלח Kislev 5775 Volume 36, Issue 10

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1 בס ד In פרשת וישלח לב:ו Yaakov tells Eisav לי שור וחמור.ויהי Rashi comments that יעקב was saying that he only had oxen and donkey and not.יצחק אבינו he received from ברכות from the dew of the sky and the fat of the land, which he was promised in the מטל השמים ומשמני הארץ It seems that יעקב is complaining that the ברכות from יצחק didn t come true! How can this be? In reality יעקב specifically highlighted the fact that he did עשו In front of.עשו because he knew he was talking to ברכות not receive the יעקב not to flaunt his material wealth because יעקב it was important for knew that this was something of which עשו would be jealous. עשו felt that material wealth belonged to him and he would therefore be jealous of anything יעקב had. יעקב knew that material wealth did not really belong to him but was given by ה' to serve Him. Therefore there was nothing to be jealous of. This is a lesson for all of us. Any material wealth we have should be used to help us be ה',עובדי not just to indulge ourselves and produce jealous feelings in others. שבת שלום Morah Shira Packer, 4G1 PARASHA QUESTIONS Grades 1-2: 1. To whom did Yaakov send malochim? 2. How did Lavan treat Yaakov? 3. Why was Yaakov afraid? 4. How big was Eisav's army? 5. Who wrestled with Yaakov? 6. Yaakov's name was changed to. 7. Was Eisav angry at Yaakov when they met? 8. Who was Leah's daughter? 9. Who died as her son was born? 10. What did Yaakov call this son? 11. Where was Yitzchok buried? GRADES 3 and 4: 1. Did Yaakov follow Lavan's ways? 2. With what 3 things did Yaakov prepare himself for his meeting with Eisav? 3. How did he prepare himself for battle? 4. Why did the angel rename Yaakov - Yisroel? 5. Where was Yaakov hurt? 6. Did Yaakov want to remain with Eisav? 7. Did Yaakov want his children to marry the daughters of the land? 8. Who killed the people of the land? 9. What did Yaakov ask his family to do after that? 10. Where did Rachel die? 11. How old was Yitzchok when he died? 12. Who buried Yitzchok? GRADES 5 and 6: 1. Who were the messengers that Yaakov sent to Eisav? 2. What did Yaakov instruct these malochim to say to Eisav? 3. What report did the malochim bring back? 4. When Yaakov heard the report, how did he feel (react)? 5. Why did Yaakov spread out the presents for Eisav into three separate groups? 6. What river did Yaakov cross on the night before he met Eisav? 7. Who did Yaakov hide in a chest and why? 8. Why did Yaakov remain by himself on the other side of the Yabok? 9. What did the angel of Eisav do to Yaakov? 10. How was Yaakov healed from the injury to his thigh? 11. After Eisav accepted the gifts from Yaakov, what did he offer to do for Yaakov? PARASHA ANSWERS Grades 1-2: 1. Eisav. 2. Like a stranger. 3. Perhaps Eisav would kill him & his family men. 5. The Angel of Eisav. 6. Yisroel. 7. No. 8. Dinah. 9. Rachel. 10. Binyamin. 11. Cave of Machpeila. GRADES 3 and 4: 1. No. 2. With presents, prayer, battle. 3. He divided the camp. 4. It means you fought with the angel and men and won. 5. In the thigh. 6. No. 7. No. 8. Shimon and Levi. 4:10 pm December 5, פרשת וישלח Kislev 5775 Volume 36, Issue 10 New at RYNJ Medical forms? Rx? Doctor's notes? You can now the school nurse directly at nurses@rynj.org. Please use the subject line to specify the issue. In an emergency it is best to call on the phone. RYNJ CALENDAR Dec Chanukah vacation-no SCHOOL Dec. 24 Early Dismissal Preschool-Gr. 2:30 Gr. 3:35 PM Dec. 25 Early Dismissal, no bus service Preschool-Gr. 2:30 Gr. 4:15 PM Jan 1 Asara B Tevet-Early dismissal N-Gr. 11:30 AM Gr. 12:30, NO LUNCH Jan 11 RYNJ ANNUAL DINNER Jan Winter Recess-NO SCHOOL 9. Take away the idols they took from שכם so they could go to serve ה' in Bais Keil 10. On the road to Beis Lechem years old. 12. Eisav and Yaakov. GRADES 5 and 6: 1. Real angels. 2. That Yaakov wished to live in peace with Eisav; and Eisav should not hate Yaakov since the blessings of Yitzchok did not really come true. 3. Eisav still hates Yaakov and he is coming to meet Yaakov with 400 soldiers. 4. He was afraid he would be killed and he was worried that he would have to kill other people. 5. In order to satisfy Eisav's greed and to impress him with the sight of so great a gift. 6. Yabok. 7. He hid his daughter, Dinah, in a box because he didn't want עשו to see her and perhaps desire to marry her. 8. He had forgotten some small vessels and returned to bring them. 9. He struck יעקב in the socket of the hip and caused him to limp..יעקב 10. The sun came out early that morning and the heat of the sun healed

2 12. What excuse did יעקב give in order to turn down Eisav's offer? 13. How long was Yaakov away from his father's house? 14. Who died in Bais Keil? GRADES 7 and 8: 1. Who is greater - a tzaddik or a malach? 2. Can you prove it from this week's sedrah? 3. When Yaakov returned to Eretz Yisroel, how did he cross the Jordan River? 4. a. When you are asked many questions, in what order should you answer? b. How do we know this rule? 5. a. Do angels have permanent names? b. Why not? c. From where do we know this fact? 6. Which son of Yaakov did not bow down to Eisav and what was his reward? 7. From which pasuk do we learn that a person should have a clean body and clothes before he prays to Hashem? 8. How many times did ה' reveal himself to Yaakov in Bais Keil? To join the RYNJ Parents list, send a blank to: him. to accompany יעקב offered to go slowly together with עשו 11. said that since his children were young and his cattle were young יעקב 12. animals he would have to go very slowly years. 14. Devorah, the nurse of Rivka. GRADES 7 and 8: 1. A tzaddik. 2..יעקב The angels served.עשו sent real angels to יעקב 3. He took the special rod (which had been handed down to him from Adam in Gan Eden) and touched the waters of the Jordan River and they split. 4. a) In the order they were asked; b) יעקב instructed his servants to reply to Eisav's questions in the order he will ask them. 5. a) No; b) Because their names change according to their mission; c) When יעקב asked the angel of עשו for his name, he replied, "I have no regular name, since our name is determined by the mission we are doing on behalf of Hashem." 6. Binyamin, who was not yet born. The Bais Hamikdosh was built in his territory. 7. Before יעקב went to Bais Keil he told all his people, "Clean yourself and change your clothes; then come, let us go up to Bais Keil. rynj+subscribe@googlegroups.com In and Around the Yeshiva RYNJ was privileged to host a delegation from Nahariya, Israel, our twinning partner in the UJA Partnership Students welcomed our guest, Segalit Alkobi, with songs and cheer. The classes involved in the Partnership joined together for a short assembly. After the assembly, Morah Segalit went to visit and teach in class 2G2. Not only did the girls enjoy the lesson, but they were also treated to a special surprise. Towards the end of her visit in our school, Morah Segalit spent some very enjoyable time in the Pre-school watching Morah Molly teach Ivrit to a kindergarten class. The בנות of 3G4 are working hard at supporting Israel during the shmittah year by buying Israeli products! כל הכבוד!! Morah D. Katz

3 The Secret Is In The Name In his introduction to this week s parsha, the Ramban writes that this week s story is an example of Ma aseh avot siman l banim. In fact, he quotes the midrash telling us that Rav Yannai would always reread parshat Vayishlach before meeting with the Roman authorities. While our children are not negotiating with hostile governments, we can apply a lesson from this parsha to our parenting and discussions with our children. In a striking vignette of personal growth, the personality of Yaakov avinu transforms before our eyes in these parshiyot. Two weeks ago, we read how his mother beseeches him to run away from his brother Eisav. Yaakov is not able to successfully navigate a direct confrontation with his brother at that point in time. In this week s parsha, hovever, Yaakov seeks out the confrontation, and prepares physically and spiritually. In an essay, Rabbi Frand pointed out that the event that transpired in Yaakov s life that triggered this transformation was the birth of Yosef. After all, it was right after Yosef was born that Yaakov tells Rachel that the time has come to confront Eisav and return to Eretz Yisrael. Rashi points out that it is only with Yosef that Yaakov is able to confront Eisav, as the Haftorah states "And the House of Yaakov will be a (spark of) fire, and the House of Yosef with be a flame, and the House of Eisav will be as straw (that will be consumed by this flame)." While Yaakov is a spark, he requires the flame of Yosef to deal with Eisav. But what is the lesson of Yosef that empowers the Jewish people to confront Eisav? The Shem MiShmuel notes that names in Tanach are not random labels, but rather point to the essence of the person. The name Eisav comes from the word asui - fully done. In fact, Eisav s physical appearance was adult like at birth (hair). This connotes a spiritual shortcoming, and hence threat, of Eisav. One who feels that he is perfect and has no room to improve. Conversely, the name Yosef means to add on. Yosef represents the drive to continue one s development, spiritual and otherwise, and strive to grow from where he is today into a more complete person. Without this Parsha and Parenting Dr. Jonathan Frohlich drive, Yaakov might have stayed in the same place, running and hiding. With it, he continued to develop and push himself to the point of being able to overcome Eisav. Rabbi Frand related this to the following example: Life is like trying to go up a down escalator. If one tries to stay the same, even though that feels easy and relaxing in the moment, he is actually going down. The only way to go up is to exert oneself. This lesson reinforces our drive to continuously work on our middot. The Middah of the Month of December is Speak Nicely About Others. The following story might be worth sharing with your children to illustrate the point: There is an old story about a person who repeated a rumor about a neighbor. Soon enough, the rumor spread to the whole community. Eventually, the person who spread the rumor learned that the rumor was, in fact, not true. He felt bad and went to the wise elder of his town for advice. The elder told him, Go to your home and take a feather pillow outside. Rip it open and scatter the feathers, then return to me tomorrow. The man complied, and returned to the elder the next day. The elder then told him to go back and collect the feathers, and bring them back here. The man went home and looked for the feathers, but alas, the wind had carried them all away. He returned to the elder empty handed. You see, said the elder, it s easy to scatter the feathers but impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip; it doesn t take much to spread hurtful words, but once you do, you can never completely undo the damage. Here are some ideas to discuss with children to help them learn to talk nicely about other people: There is a slippery slope between talking to be helpful and talking to gossip. One guideline to use is that unless you plan to offer tangible help to the person you are talking about, the information you are sharing is just gossip. Even well meaning children will have a hard time navigating a conversation that turns to gossip. Children need to practice the phrases they could use to get out of those conversations tactfully, such as I don t want to talk about that person or I m not so interested in this topic anymore. Combining that phrase with an effort to change the topic (another skill that requires practice) can do the trick. Gossip easily serves as the glue between people in a conversation. It provides emotional gratification, and helps the discussants feel closer to each other. This is an unhealthy, but highly rewarding process. As parents, it is important to help expand our children s minds with a variety of meaningful topics and interests for them to use in social conversations. As always, practice makes perfect. Children need to remember that gossip about celebrities, sports figures, and the like, is also considered gossip, and creates an unhealthy pattern. When we notice our children gossiping or talking badly about others, it is a perfect opportunity to begin a conversation with them about striving to feel good about themselves for who they are, and not only if they can be better than someone else. Perhaps the greatest challenge in this area is how to have one s middot coexist with technology. Group texts and other electronic media create a culture of gossip, where speaking not nicely about others is more rewarding and stimulating than speaking nicely. This is one of the many reasons why it is vital for parents to have regular access to monitor the electronic communications of their children (including a firm nightly ending time for electronic devices, after which the device goes to the parent s room). Otherwise, the chinuch provided by the electronic media will overpower the chinuch that is provided in the home and at school. May the zechut of lashon tov merit a good שבת שלום well! name for our children as RYNJ Birthday Club Let your birthday party guests know your child is participating in the RYNJ birthday club. Guests send $5 CASH (checks will be disposed of) in an envelope to the Main Office with guest child's information as well as the birthday child information; full name, class and date of party, 5 days before the party, and mark it birthday club. How easy? Now just attend the birthday, have a great time, and we will provide a gift card to the birthday child minus 10% that benefits the school s classrooms. Happy Birthday! For info contact: Michal Wasserlauf at michelle@linksnj.com

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5 Lori Okoskin Memorial P a r n a s H a y o m December 1 ז ל In memory of Abraham Schwimmer - Avraham ben Dovid Zev HaCohen Dedicated by Dr. and Mrs. Gabriel Gurell December 2 ז ל In memory of Mickey Bodner - Alter Moshe Ephraim ben Yosef Dedicated by Ruthy and Joey Bodner December 3 ע ה In memory of Mrs. Netty Rosenbaum Grandmother of Lily and Netty Levine. Dedicated by Ayala and David Levine December 4 ז ל In memory of Natan Libman - Avraham Natan Netah ben Eliyahu Yaakov Dedicated by RYNJ December 5 ע ה In memory of Pearl Motechin- Perel bat Shalom Hacohen great grandmother of Akiva, Azriel, Tzvi, Sarah, Yael and Ayelet Motechin Dedicated by Rabbi Zush and Mattie Motechin ע ה In memory of Ellen Newman- Miriam bat Pinchas great grandmother of Pinny Silver, Tamar and David Waltuch, and Azriel and Akiva Lieber Dedicated by Brueckheimer, Silver, Waltuch, and Lieber Families To sponsor a day of learning at RYNJ, please Shira Greenberg To Mr. and Mrs. Aryeh Gielchinsky on the birth of a son. To Rabbi and Mrs. Yisroel Kohn on the engagement of their daughter, Morah Rivky Kohn to Yossi Jacob. To Morah Riki Pilchick on her engagement to Nissan Binik. To Rabbi and Mrs. Ron Koesterich (our colleague Shari) on the birth of a granddaughter, a daughter to Debbie and Yonah Levant. To Mr. and Mrs. David Schnaidman on the birth of a granddaughter, a daughter to Ephraim & Rivka Schnaidman. Thank you to all the industrious, helpful banot of 7G for their invaluable assistance in preparing the mailing for the RYNJ annual dinner. המקום ינחם To Rabbi Jonathan Feldman and Rabbi Daniel Feldman on ז ל the passing of their dear father, Rabbi David Feldman May the family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. Scrip is available from the pre-school office on a daily basis: Mon thru Thurs- 7:30 to 4:00- See Shari or Malkie pre-school Fri- 7:30 to 9:00 a.m. See Shari in pre-school. Tuesday & Friday- 8:30 until first dismissal-marsha-main office

6 Rosh Chodesh is a special time for Jewish women and at RYNJ our banot celebrate with a middle school breakfast each month. Our talmidot enjoy a delicious meal, participate in group activities and chessed projects, listen to guests speakers and students' divrei Torah, and enjoy round-robin learning sessions with their morot. We invite you to sponsor a Rosh Chodesh breakfast for $54 in honor or in memory of a loved one. Mothers and grandmothers of sponsoring families are invited to join us for the breakfast. Please fill out the form below and return to Morah Zucker. Contact Morah Zucker at czucker@rynj.org for more information. Thank you. Name: would like to sponsor the Rosh Chodesh breakfast for the month of in honor of: in memory of: Enclosed is a check for $54. Signature:

7 HOT LUNCH PROGRAM Complete this form and return it with the correct amount by the appropriate date. Circle the month you wish to start. The return to school date is also for children wishing to leave the program. Checks shall be made payable to YNJ Lunch Program. Gov t application forms for free or reduced lunches are available. Call , x 318. Mon th Annual Payment 2 checks one dated 8/24 & one dated 2/1 (both checks must be included) Postdated monthly checks of $64 dated 1 st of month returned to school date Jan $384 $64 + $320 6 Dec 17, 14 Feb $320 5 Jan 13, 15 Mar $256 4 Feb 12, 15 Apr $192 3 Mar 16, 15 May $128 2 Apr 16, 15 Jun $64 1 May 13, 15 Family Name Please check where applicable RYNJ Sinai Name of Child Grade Allergies (if applicable) To join the RYNJ Parents list, send a blank to: rynj+subscribe@googlegroups.com

8 The Chanukah toy drive needs your help. They are trying to accumulate enough gifts/toys to fulfill their obligations to the 18 charities that rely on them and right now they are at a low. Please donate new toys, games, sports equipment as soon as possible. The post bat mitzvah girls were asked if they want to "forward" any of their extra or unwanted bat mitzvah gifts to the drive for girls their own age with less. The deadline is next Tuesday, December 9. Happy Chanukah! The Nursery Yeladim used the tzedaka money they have been collecting since the first day of school to buy toys for the Chanukkah toy drive. Their mitzvah of giving tzedaka daily will now make 16 children very happy to receive a Chanukah present this year. Morah Valerie Kahn Tuesdays Dec 9, 16, 23 Wednesdays Dec. 10, 17