AT MAARIV ON MOTZEI SHABBAT, DEC. 5, BEGIN IN SHEMONEI ESREI. LAWS ON PAGE 2. PLEASE NO CONVERSATION DURING SERVICES WEEKDAY DAVENING INFORMATION

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1 בס ד AT MAARIV ON MOTZEI SHABBAT, DEC. 5, BEGIN "ותן טל ומטר" TO INCLUDE IN SHEMONEI ESREI. LAWS ON PAGE 2. שבת פרשת וישב SHABBAT PARSHAT VAYEISHEV 23 KISLEV/DECEMBER 5 Haftorah is Amos 2:6-3:8. We bless the month of.א-ל מלא or אב הרחמים Tevet. We do not say We say צדקתך צדק at Mincha.. FRIDAY NIGHT CANDLE LIGHTING - 4:11 PM MINCHA - 4:15 PM TZAIT - 5:14 PM SATURDAY CHUMASH SHIUR - 8:00 AM SHACHARIT YOUTH - 8:20 AM SHACHARIT MAIN - 8:45 AM LAST KRIAT SHEMA - 9:26 AM GEMARA SHIUR - 3:00 PM MINCHA - 4:00 PM SHKIA - 4:29 PM MAARIV/HAVDALAH - 5:14 PM BULLETIN INFORMATION TO REQUEST A BULLETIN ANNOUNCEMENT (BY 7:00 PM WEDNESDAY) OR DEDICATE A BULLETIN FOR $36 ($54 W/PHOTO), SEPLOTNICK@GMAIL.COM. CONGREGATION AHAVAT ACHIM SADDLE RIVER ROAD FAIR LAWN, NJ נא לא לדבר בשעת התפילה PLEASE NO CONVERSATION DURING SERVICES Sunday (12/6) Monday (12/7) Tuesday (12/8) Wednesday (12/9) Thursday (12/10) Friday (12/11) Earliest Talit 6:07 AM 6:08 AM 6:09 AM 6:10 AM 6:10 AM 6:11 AM Shacharit 8:15 AM 6:10 AM 6:20 AM 6:20 AM 6:10 AM 6:20 AM Gedolah 12:10 PM 12:10 PM 12:10 PM 12:11 PM 12:11 PM 12:11 PM Mincha (Sun./ Fri) - Maariv WEEKDAY DAVENING INFORMATION 4:10 PM 8:00 PM 8:00 PM 8:00 PM 8:00 PM 4:20 PM Shkia 4:29 PM 4:29 PM 4:29 PM 4:29 PM 4:29 PM Tzait 5:14 PM 5:14 PM 5:14 PM 5:14 PM 5:14 PM Chanukah Friday night dinner is Shabbat, December 11, after Maariv. $20 per adults and children 12 years and over, $10 for children 6 to 11 years old, and under 6 are free. RSVP by Sunday, December 6 to Randi (randi.spier@gmail.com or ). Mazel Tov to Shirley & Avi Vann on the engagement of their son, Yitz, to Sora Rivka Tannenbaum of Bloomingburg, New York. May they be zoche to build a bayit neeman b yisroel! Mazel tov to Rabbi & Julie Goldstein for being this year s journal dinner honorees! Details to come! Molad for Tevet is Friday, Dec.11, 7:19 AM & 12 Chalokim. Rabbi Uri Goldstein Refuah shaleyma to Margo Greensrein who is recovering. President Stephen Agress "1

2 Kiddush Information Kiddush cleanup for the month of December is Kwestel, Lang, Latkin, Levine, Lewis, Lewissohn, Oppenheim, Oster, Plotnick, Racenstein, Rein & Riskin Kiddush setup for this Shabbat is Baron, Stock, Zarabi Kiddush setup for next Shabbat is Schwed, Solomon, Winchester Adult Education GEMARAH SHIUR - Rabbi's Shabbat afternoon gemarah shiur takes place one hour before Mincha. Tuesdays, after Maariv (approx. 8:15 PM), Adult Ed. lecture series: The Great Torah Commentaries - Their Lives and Learning, Part I- Rashi. Numbers & Info ERUV UPDATE MIKVAH At Shomrei Torah, weekdays 9:00 PM 10:30 PM, Motzei Shabbat from 11/4 hours after Shabbat ends for 1.5 hours. Kaylim Mikvah: Sunday 10 AM-3 PM FACEBOOK: facebook.com/ groups/ahavat.achim/ Mah Jong This Shabbat at 3:00 PM at the home of Dina Greene, Marie Court. ע ה Gita Cooperwasser Youth Program This week s leaders are: Group Aleph - Hannah & Uri, and Group Bet - Serena & Mikey Shabbat, At Maariv on Motzei :ותן טל ומטר ותן טל" December 5, we begin to include into the Shemonei Esrei. If one "ומטר became aware, after he had completed the Bracha השנים,מברך that he had omitted he should insert it right "ותן טל ומטר" before אתה שומע" "כי of קולנו.שמע If he had,שומע תפלה already completed the Bracha he may insert it before saying."רצה" If he had already begun "רצה" he must return to the Bracha עלינו","ברך which is the proper place for טל ומטר"."ותן If he had already completed the Shemonah Esrei, then he must repeat the entire Shemonah Esrei. In any situation in which a person must repeat the entire Shemonah Esrei, he may fulfill his obligation by listening to every word of the Chazzan's Repetition from beginning to end, with the intention of thus fulfilling his obligation. It is advisable to repeat 101 times [at the very ואת כל מיני תבואתה לטובה ותן" times]: least 90 so as to make the inclusion "טל ומטר לברכה of טל ומטר" "ותן habitual and fluent, thus eliminating any future doubt as to whether one included טל ומטר" "ותן in the Shemonah Esrei or not. The Rabbi search committee has commenced its search for a new Moreh Deasra, and if anyone has suggestions please contact a committee member listed below: Aryeh Brenenson (Co-Chair) David Garfunkel (Co-Chair) Stephen Agress Jaimie Eisman Howie Komet Debbie Lang Joanne Oppenheim Arielle Schachter Marty Sonnenblick Arnie Spier Steve Wechsler Upcoming Events Dec Shabbat Chanukah Dinner/ Oneg Shabbat Dec Kiddush sponsored by Amy & Stephen Agress in honor of Max's Auf Ruf and upcoming wedding to Hilana Smith Dec Siyum Mesechet Sotah at Suedah Shlishit Dec Family Bowling Party, 7:30 PM - 9:30 PM at Brunswick Fair Lawn Lanes. RSVP to Lori (garfmom@gmail.com). Dec Sisterhood planning meeting at Lori s home Jan. 2 - Seudah Shlishit is sponsored by the Wigod and Sokoloff families in memory of Ron s and Cheryl s ע ה parents Leonore (Leah bat Zev ע ה ) and Benjamin (Boruch Chaim ben Zevulun Aryeh). ע ה Sokoloff Jan. 2 - Sisterhood Book Club, 3:00 PM, at Betsy Sonnenblick's home, discussing The Orchid House, by Lucinda Riley. Jan. 6 - Sisterhood Paid Up Membership Meeting and Challah Braiding and Making Extravaganza! Feb Ben Wechsler Bar Mitzvah Feb Yachad Shabbaton Mar. 5 - Pre-Purim Wine and Cheese Tasting. April 15 - Pre-Pesach Shabbat Dinner Shirley Vann has dedicated this week s Covenant & Conversation (used with permission of. ע ה the Office of Rabbi Sacks) in memory of her beloved mother Necha bat Yitzchok "2

3 IN TEVET WE REMEMBER,,, NAME HEBREW DATE CANDLE EVENING OF DEDICATOR RELATIONSHIP Sylvia Eis 4 December 15 Jacob Eis Mother Blima Jablon 8 December 19 The Schwitzer Family Grandmother Samuel Eis 12 December 23 Jacob Eis Father Benjamin H. Sokoloff 12 December 23 Ron Sokoloff Father Andrew Leeb 13 December 24 Alice Banner & Janie Kirschenbaum Daughters Lester Plotnick 13 December 24 Steven Plotnick Father Ida Freilich 15 December 26 Eita Latkin Mother Udel Chedva Schaeffer 16 December 27 Mimi Weinraub Mother Sarah Brody 19 December 30 Ron Sokoloff Grandmother Leonore Sokoloff 22 January 2 Ron Sokoloff Mother Abraham Rotberg 25 January 5 Ellen Chass Father SUPPORT YOUR SHUL Donate a Sefer, etc. The shul has Siddurim & Machzorim ($36) and Chumashim ($54) available to be donated. Please contact Jeff Safier at rjsafier@optonline.net for details. Yahrzeit Plaques Memorialize a loved one and receive written notice of your upcoming yahrzeit every year. In addition, your loved one s name will be mentioned during the public Yizkor we recite on Yom Kippur and in the Bulletin. Plaques are $300 for members and $350 for non-members. For more information, contact Sophie Infield at Scrip Scrip is available from Men s by ing David at dmgarfunkel@gmail.com. Pay using Paypal (treasurer@ahavatachim.org) or use Discover, MasterCard or Visa - treasurer@ahavatachim.org for details. Mishebayrach If you ve made a Mishebayrach you ve pledged to give Tzedakah on behalf of those for whom you asked Hashem's blessing. Contributions to the shul are appropriate and can be made via Paypal to treasurer@ahavatachim.org, or via MasterCard, Visa or Discover by sending the information to Elliot Greene (contact him at treasurer@ahavatachim.org). If paying by check please indicate on its face Aliyah Donation. Thank you for your generosity. David Schwitzer ע ה Social Hall Please contact Jonathan Schachter at jschachter2@bloomberg.net to book the David Schwitzer ע ה Social Hall for an event or special occasion. $250 per simcha (members) / $500 paid in advance for nonmembers, plus the cost of any additional clean up (plus a $150 security deposit refunded when the social hall is returned in the condition it started in). Private caterers must be approved in advance by the Rabbi. "3 Sisterhood & Men s Club Please contact Eli Greenbaum at eligreenbaum@yahoo.com to join the Men s Club. To join Sisterhood, please contact Lori Garfunkel at garfmom@gmail.com. Honoraria Contributions to acquire honoraria in memory or honor of a loved one are welcome. The available Honoraria list will be provided upon request by contacting Steven Plotnick at seplotnick@gmail.com. Mitzvah Cards Want mitzvah cards, contact Eita Latkin at or parentsof3@aol.com. Cost is $3 per card. Also can be ordered in bulk - ten cards for $25, which you send out yourself privately. SUPPORT YOUR SHUL

4 ההנוכה CHANUKAH Sunday night, Dec. 6, after sunset (according to some, after the appearance of three stars) we light the Chanukah lights and make the following three Brachot: נר של חנוכה, שעשה נסים,להדליק and.שהחיינו After lighting we recite הללו" "הנרות etc. We also light the Chanukah Menorah, with all of its Brachot, in the southern side of the Shul (where the Menorah was lit in the Holy Temple) so as to make a public declaration of the miracle. is recited only on the first night. The first candle that is lit is at the "שהחיינו" extreme right of the Menorah. The established customs are to light inside the house, by a window that is in view of the street, or at the very least, that is in view of an alley or courtyard where people walk, and on each day to add an additional candle that is lit first that night (placing candles right to left, but lighting left to right). By the eighth day we light eight candles. The basic decree is for the head of the household to light, with everyone observing the candles being lit and hearing the Brachot, and if there are visitors they must at least contribute oil (or candles) or pay a few cents so that they become partners in the Mitzvah. The custom now is for even visitors to light their own Menorah, at the proper time, with their own Bracha, even if a member of the family is lighting the Menorah for his household. The individual family members may, if they so wish, light their own Menorahs and make their own Brachot. One may not derive practical benefit from the Chanukah lights, so we light an additional Shammash candle so if one needs light he can it. It is best to light at upon the initial appearance of the stars (obviously except for Saturday night). Under extenuating circumstances, one may light even after midnight if members of the family are awake to see the lights. There must be enough oil/wax to last one half hour past the time when the stars appear. If one is lighting after the appearance of the stars there must still be enough oil to burn for half an hour. If the Chanukah lights are accidentally extinguished prior to their having burned the requisite time, one is not obligated by Halacha to rekindle them; it is, however, advisable that one rekindle them without a Bracha. There is a custom to give children Chanukah Gelt as part of the process of publicizing the miracle. During Shemonah Esrei and Bircat HaMazon we add הנסים.ועל At Shacharit we recite the complete Hallel followed by a half-kaddish (with the exception of Shabbat and Rosh Chodesh when the Hallel is followed by a Kaddish Tiskabel). If one omitted ועל הנסים he does not repeat the Shemonah Esrei or Birkat Hamazon. ו' דחנוכה SIXTH DAY OF CHANUKAH FRIDAY AFTERNOON, DECEMBER 11/KISLEV 29 We light the Chanukah Menorah at home before lighting the Shabbat candles. Some strive to recite Mincha before lighting the Chanukah lights. However, one must be careful not to delay the welcoming of Shabbat because of this. One may not light Chanukah or Shabbat candles earlier than Plag HaMincha (3:31 PM). One must be careful to use enough oil (or light a large enough candle) that will remain lit until thirty minutes after the appearance of three stars. MISCELLANEOUS Rabbi Goldstein s Hours Rabbi Goldstein is available to the membership by contacting him at UriG77@aol.com or by phone at For those who wish to contact him during office hours, he is available to be at the shul Wednesday evenings after Ma ariv until approximately 10:00 pm. Please note that the Rabbi's s are forwarded to his home PC and to his mobile phone. Become a Member of Ahavat Achim If you are not yet a member; please contact Aryeh Brenenson abrenenson@gmail.com for details on membership. Bikkur Cholim/Chesed If anyone could use a visit/assistance from the Bikkur Cholim/Chesed Committee, contact the Rabbi at UriG77@aol.com or Sara Levine at saralevine06@gmail.com or (201) Contact Sara to join the committee and offer assistance in the manner that s most conducive to your schedule. You may find yourself in a position to spend time visiting a homebound shul member, give them a call and see if they require any special assistance or might even decide to cook or purchase a special meal for them. No offer will be refused and all are appreciated. Personal Announcements Various life cycle events related to members are announced in the shul s weekly bulletin (e.g., births, bar and bat mitzvahs, weddings and deaths), and the bulletin acknowledges travel to/from Israel for study. We also welcome new members and those who ve moved into the community and express interest in our shul. Other personal announcements generally are not appropriate for inclusion in the bulletin, except as part of the bulletin s dedication (a $36 cost - $54 with photo). Thank you for your understanding and cooperation. Shirley Vann has dedicated this week s Covenant & Conversation (used with permission of the. ע ה Office of Rabbi Sacks) in memory of her beloved mother Necha bat Yitzchok "4

5 The Sisterhood of Ahavat Achim Presents Family Bowling Night Saturday, December 26, 7:30 9:30 At Brunswick Fair Lawn Lanes Grown Ups and Kids of all ages are welcome $16 per person includes: 2 hours of Bowling and Shoe Rental Benji s Pizza will be available upon request We need to reserve the lanes, so please RSVP (asap) to Lori at garfmom@gmail.com or

6 IT S CHANUKAH WHY COOK?!? COME JOIN US FOR A SPECIAL CHANUKAH FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER FOLLOWED BY AN ONEG SHABBAT WHEN: FRIDAY DECEMBER 11, 2015 WHERE: OUR WONDERFUL SHUL - AHAVAT ACHIM DINNER TIME: AFTER KABBALAT SHABBAT COST: $20 PER ADULTS AND CHILDREN 12 AND OVER $10 FOR KIDS 6-11 CHILDREN UNDER 6 ARE FREE DESSERT AND THE ONEG SHABBAT WILL FOLLOW DINNER AT 7:15 AND ARE OPEN TO ALL RSVP s for DINNER MUST BE RECEIVED by SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6 th. randi.spier@gmail.com or call

7 How to Change the World Vayeshev - 5 December 2015 / 23 Kislev 5776 In his Laws of Repentance, Moses Maimonides makes one of the most empowering statements in religious literature. Having explained that we and the world are judged by the majority of our deeds, he continues: Therefore we should see ourselves throughout the year as if our deeds and those of the world are evenly poised between good and bad, so that our next act may 1 change both the balance of our lives and that of the world. We can make a difference, and it is potentially immense. That should be our mindset, always. Few statements are more at odds with the way the world seems to us most of the time. Each of us knows that there is only one of us, and that there are seven billion others in the world today. What conceivable difference can we make? We are no more than a wave in the ocean, a grain of sand on the seashore, dust on the surface of infinity. Is it conceivable that with one act we could change the trajectory of our life, let alone that of humanity as a whole? Our parsha tells us that, yes, it is. As the story of Jacob s children unfolds, there is a rapid rise of tension between his children that threatens to spill over into violence. Joseph, eleventh of the twelve, is Jacob s favourite son. He was, says the Torah, the child of Jacob s old age. More significantly, he was the first child of Jacob s beloved wife Rachel. Jacob loved him more than his other sons, and they knew it and resented it. They were jealous of their father s love. They were provoked by Joseph s dreams of greatness. The sight of the many-coloured robe Jacob had given him as a token of his love provoked them to anger. 1 Hilkhot Teshuvah 3:4. How to Change the World 1 Vayeshev 5776

8 Then came the moment of opportunity. The brothers were away far from home tending the flocks when Joseph appeared in the distance, sent by Jacob to see how they were doing. Their envy and anger reached boiling point, and they resolved to take violent revenge. Here comes that dreamer! they said to each other. Come now, let s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a wild animal devoured him. Then we ll see what comes of his dreams. Only one of the brothers disagreed: Reuben. He knew that what they were proposing was very wrong, and he protested. At this point the Torah does something extraordinary. It makes a statement that cannot be literally true, and we, reading the story, know this. The text says, And Reuben heard and saved him [Joseph] from them. We know this cannot be true because of what happens next. Reuben, realising that he is only one At this point the Torah does something extraordinary. It makes a statement that cannot be literally true, and we, reading the story, know this. against many, devises a stratagem. He says, Let us not kill him. Let us throw him alive into one of the cisterns and let him die. That way, we will not be directly guilty of murder. His intention was to come back to the cistern later, when the others were elsewhere, and rescue Joseph. When the Torah says, And Reuben heard and saved him from them it is using the 2 principle that God accounts a good intention as a deed. Reuben wanted to save Joseph and intended to do so, but in fact he failed. The moment passed, and by the time he acted, it was already too late. Returning to the cistern, he found Joseph already gone, sold as a slave. On this, a midrash says: If only Reuben had known that the Holy One blessed be He, would write about him, And Reuben heard and saved him from them, he would have 3 lifted Joseph bodily onto his shoulders and taken him back to his father. What does this mean? Consider what would have happened had Reuben actually acted at that moment. Joseph would not have been sold as a slave. He would not have been taken to Egypt. He would not have worked in Potiphar s house. He would not have attracted Potiphar s wife. He would not have been thrown into prison on a false charge. He would not have interpreted the dreams of the butler and baker, nor would he have done the same two years later for Pharaoh. He would not have been made viceroy of Egypt. He would not have brought his family to stay there. To be sure, God had already told Abraham many years earlier, Know for certain that for four hundred years your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own and 2 Tosefta, Peah 1:4. 3 Tanhuma, Vayeshev, 13. How to Change the World 2 Vayeshev 5776

9 that they will be enslaved and mistreated there (Gen. 15:13). The Israelites would have become slaves, come what may. But at least they would not have had this happen as a result of their own family dysfunctions. An entire chapter of Jewish guilt and shame might have been avoided. We never can read the book that tells of the longterm consequences of our acts. We never know how much we affect the lives of others. If only Reuben had known what we know. If only he had been able to read the book. But we never can read the book that tells of the long-term consequences of our acts. We never know how much we affect the lives of others. There is a story I find very moving, about how in 1966 an eleven-year-old African- 4 American boy moved with his family to a hitherto white neighbourhood in Washington. Sitting with his brothers and sisters on the front step of the house, he waited to see how they would be greeted. They were not. Passers-by turned to look at them but no one gave them a smile or even a glance of recognition. All the fearful stories he had heard about how whites treated blacks seemed to be coming true. Years later, writing about those first days in their new home, he says, I knew we were not welcome here. I knew we would not be liked here. I knew we would have no friends here. I knew we should not have moved here As he was thinking those thoughts, a woman passed by on the other side of the road. She turned to the children and with a broad smile said, Welcome! Disappearing into the house, she emerged minutes later with a tray laden with drinks and cream-cheese and jelly sandwiches which she brought over to the children, making them feel at home. That moment the young man later wrote changed his life. It gave him a sense of belonging where there was none before. It made him realise, at a time when race relations in the United States were still fraught, that a black family could feel at home in a white area and that there could be relationships that were colour-blind. Over the years, he learned to admire much about the woman across the street, but it was that first spontaneous act of greeting that became, for him, a definitive memory. It broke down a wall of separation and turned strangers into friends. The young man, Stephen Carter, eventually became a law professor at Yale and wrote a book about what he learned that day. He called it Civility. The name of the woman, he tells us, was Sara Kestenbaum, and she died all too young. He adds that it was no coincidence that she was a religious Jew. In the Jewish tradition, he notes, such civility is called hessed the doing of acts of kindness which is in turn derived from the understanding that human beings are made in the image of God. Civility, he adds, itself may be seen as part of hessed: it does indeed require kindnesses toward our fellow citizens, including the ones who are strangers, and even when it is hard. 4 Stephen Carter, Civility, New York: Basic Books, 1999, How to Change the World 3 Vayeshev 5776

10 To this day, he adds, I can close my eyes and feel on my tongue the smooth, slick sweetness of the cream cheese and jelly sandwiches that I gobbled on that summer afternoon when I discovered how a single act of genuine and unassuming civility can change a life forever. One life at a time, one day at a time, one act at a time. That is how we make a difference. 5 A single life, says the Mishnah, is like a universe. Change a life, and you begin to change the universe. That is how we make a difference: one life at a time, one day at a time, one act at a time. We never know in advance what effect a single act may have. Sometimes we never know it at all. Sara Kestenbaum, like Reuben, never did have the chance to read the book that told the story of the long-term consequences of that moment. But she acted. She did not hesitate. Neither, said Maimonides, should we. Our next act might tilt the balance of someone else s life as well as our own. We are not inconsequential. We can make a difference to our world. When we do so, we become God s partners in the work of redemption, bringing the world that is, a little closer to the world that ought to be. 5 Mishnah, Sanhedrin 4:5 (original manuscript text). How to Change the World 4 Vayeshev 5776