Life Group. Getting Started Let s begin by reciting the Key Verse and Key Idea together as a group.

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1 Life Group Chapter 27: KINDNESS/GOODNESS May 21 & 22, 2016 Welcome! Welcome to Session 27 of Believe. If there are any new members in your group, take a moment to introduce yourselves to each other. Getting Started Let s begin by reciting the Key Verse and Key Idea together as a group. Key Verse: Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. (1 Thessalonians 5:15) Key Idea: I choose to be kind and good in my relationships with others. Group Discussion Let s discuss our thoughts and feelings about the following declarations. Which statements are easy to declare with certainty? Which are more challenging, and why? I would never keep money that didn t belong to me. What are some situations that this might occur? > Finding money on a floor or street/sidewalk, knowing it isn t yours. How would most people respond to this situation? How should one respond to this situation? Here are some viable options: > Some would feel it was a gift from God to use to meet a need. > Some would keep it to place in an offering plate. > Some would keep it until they found someone in need and give it to them. > Some would pick it up and spend it without giving it a second thought. As Christians, we would have to bring something like this before the Lord. So what would be the right thing to do? > If we lean on the passage of scripture that talks about obeying our government rules we should see what the legal thing to do would be. (Romans 13:1-3) Read the following: Randy Frazee Discussion Guide Page 1

2 FROM CRIMINALDEFENSELAWYER.COM -- What to Do If You Find Money If you find money, especially a significant amount, you should check your local laws or contact an attorney or the police. If a law requires that you turn over money you have found to the police and you do not do so, you could be charged with larceny or theft. Even though you did not steal the money by taking it directly from its owner, you are holding the money and not trying to return it. Holding or possessing property that you know does not belong to you also constitutes theft or larceny under most state laws. You also can make your own efforts to identify or locate the owner of money you have found. If you find a $20 bill on the sidewalk, it is common courtesy to ask others walking nearby if they might have dropped the bill. There is always the risk that someone will say they dropped the money just to be able to claim it. In those kinds of situations, you have to use your own judgment about whether the person claiming the money is being truthful. If the money is in a wallet, you should check for ID. If the wallet contains no ID but does have credit cards, you can call the customer service number on a credit card and the card company can contact the owner. You also should look inside a container of cash for any information it might contain about the owner. With regard to the money found behind the basement wall, you could try to contact the previous owners of the home and ask if they knew anything about any property being stored behind the basement walls. > Another situation on keeping money that does not belong to us may have to do with taxes and the IRS. < Have you ever noticed when you put the words the IRS together, it spells theirs? Taxes are the only certainty in life (aside from death). Albert Einstein is quoted as admitting, "The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax." While it may be hard to understand, the same moral and ethical guidelines that we follow in life apply to paying our taxes. < Jesus was once asked about paying taxes. In Matthew 22:16-22, Jesus is confronted by the Pharisees regarding the necessity of paying taxes. Jesus acknowledged that the government makes lawful requests of us. We are responsible to God in all things, but we must be obedient to the powers that be in things civil and national. (Again refer to Romans 13:1-7) < Paul confirms what Jesus was talking about: They make it clear that we are to pay taxes because we are to respect the governing authorities. < As Christians, we also have a higher calling than the law to be ethical and completely honest about everything. ^ The basic distinction to be made is between "tax avoidance" and "tax evasion. } It's OK to minimize taxes by taking advantage of legal provisions of the tax law, or even taking a sensible position on a vague question of law. But when we cross the line into tax evasion, it becomes a criminal activity. > A third situation may be keeping money that belongs to God. < Although there s nothing inherently wrong with money, there s something wrong with devotion to money. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil (1 Timothy 6:9-10). < Far too many Christians have fallen into the trap of believing the lie that their money and possessions are theirs to do with as they please. They think that as long as they give verbal witness and active service, they may live their lives indifferent to human need and God s command. ^ Without a balanced, God-directed view of money and how to use it, we miss God s blessing. Randy Frazee Discussion Guide Page 2

3 I am known as a person who speaks words of kindness to those in need of encouragement. People with a high level of spiritual commitment are more compassionate in their attitudes toward others than those who are not. They also go beyond just "feeling sorry" for those in trouble; they act on their compassion by offering encouragement to those experiencing difficulty in their lives. Look for opportunities to encourage. Here are some thoughts in becoming one who speaks words of encouragement and kindness: > Do you bring sunshine or gloom into the room? < If you are a negative person, don't make excuses about your negativity. God is in the personalitychanging business. He wants you to "be conformed to the likeness of his Son" (Romans 8:29). You can change. You can become known for your encouraging words. > Life is full of problems, and we need to deal with them. But if we aren't careful, all we see are the problems. < There are lots of good things we can focus on. Instead of "catching people being bad," catch them being good. Be a positive person. Encourage one another. > Ask God to help you develop a positive thought life. < Immerse yourself in his Word and pray < Over time, you will discover that you can control the way you think, choosing to focus on some thoughts and to reject others. Use Philippians 4:8 as your guide. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things. > When you wake up in the morning, ask God to help you look for and focus on the positive. < Pray for this attitude throughout the day. < Choose to meditate on the positive. Speak positively: > When you talk, you make a series of choices about what subjects to discuss and what points to make. < There are negative things you could say, but there also are positive ones. Choose the positive. < Choose to specialize in encouraging words, not in critical comments. ("Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification" Romans 14:19). > Bring friendly speech into your relationships. < Don't start complaining as soon as you see your spouse, child, employee, neighbor or someone else. Ask about his or her day. Give a compliment. Share things they may be interested in. > Voice words of encouragement, appreciation, support, and respect. < Acknowledge others' abilities and efforts. If someone feels inadequate, encourage him or her. > Monitor your positive and negative remarks. < Learn to be self-aware and listen to what you say. Make many more positive comments than negative ones. > Respond to problems with hope and encouragement. < When someone talks about personal difficulties, do not respond with a "gloom and doom" attitude. < Listen with compassion and avoid simplistic advice. - [God] comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (2 Corinthians 1:4) Randy Frazee Discussion Guide Page 3

4 - And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. (1 Thessalonians 5:14) > Avoid subtle criticisms. < Watch out for subtle ways you may tear others down, such as comparing them to yourself or others. > Discuss problems as a friend. < There are times when people discuss difficult topics. When you do, speak in a courteous, friendly manner. The way you speak usually is more important than your advice. Here are a few helpful tips to speak with love and kindness. 1. Before you speak, THINK. < Always ask yourself: Is this True. Is this Helpful? Is this Inspiring? Is this Necessary? Is it Kind? 2. Stop complaining. < Complaining has no use. When people experience a problem they seem to complain to everyone other than the person who can resolve the issue. < Rather than complain, try to calm down and then go directly to the person who can improve your situation. 3. Don t mix bad words with bad moods. < We have all said something that we regret. This is why you should not mix bad moods with bad words. < You can transform your mood but you can t take back words. 4. Go out of your way to be kind. < Always be kind and polite. It makes you feel good and others feel good as well - it s as simple as that. 5. Speak only words you wish to have engraved above the doorway to your future. < The words you speak reflect who you are. We are not only a result of our thoughts but also of our words and actions. I give to others expecting nothing in return. Generosity is the habit of giving freely without expecting anything in return. > The Bible says in Proverbs 11:25 that a generous person will prosper. That means that they ll be successful. So how does that work? If you give stuff away freely, you ll be left with nothing - or very little? > We can be generous or stingy with anything that we have. With our money; with our friendship; with our time; with our energy; with our kindness; with our love; with our forgiveness; with our possessions etc. > Whenever we are being generous we are being a little bit like God. < God made us so that he could be generous to us, to bless us with good things. < God is so generous to us - even giving us his own Son - so that we can be generous to others. ^ We are blessed, in order to be a blessing. < Jesus is our role model in this. ^ In Philippians 2:5, Paul reminds us that we are to have the same attitude as Jesus himself, and this word attitude literally means to think or feel or do. So when it comes to being generous, giving anything away or blessing others, we are to think, feel and do the same as Jesus. Randy Frazee Discussion Guide Page 4

5 > Acts 20:35 says it is better to give than to receive. < Do you believe that? Have you experienced it? < It doesn t matter if you can t give a lot because you haven t got a lot it s your heart attitude, and the sacrifice that you make, that counts. Generosity was one of the hallmarks of the early church, generosity is one of the hallmarks of the Kingdom of God and of his church. > The story in Acts 2:42-47 is a challenging, description of the early church putting generosity into practice. Most people know the scripture commonly called the Golden Rule. It says that you should, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Often this is mistakenly read as by doing unto others you can expect to receive good yourself. Now while this may happen it should not be an expectation. > If you read the Golden Rule again it does not say that you will receive anything in return. What it speaks about is what your attitude and behavior should be like. < You need to have the attitude of treating people the way you would like to be treated, whether you receive anything in return or not. < When a person does something for another with the expectation of receiving something in return, then it is not giving. < The Lord teaches us that it is better to give than to receive because when we give without expecting to receive anything in return we have done something good. ^ We have done something better than receiving. Jesus addressed this type of giving without return in Luke 14. FROM BELIEVE: The Jewish religious leaders in Jesus day held exclusive dinner parties. Only invited guests of significant public standing were allowed to attend. Upon arrival, the host would seat guests in order of importance. On an occasion in which Jesus was invited to eat at the table of a well-known Pharisee, he took advantage of the opportunity to teach a lesson first about humility and then about the kind of people who should be on the guest list of such occasions. Luke 14:7-14 (CEV) 7 Jesus saw how the guests had tried to take the best seats. So he told them: 8 When you are invited to a wedding feast, don t sit in the best place. Someone more important may have been invited. 9 Then the one who invited you will come and say, Give your place to this other guest! You will be embarrassed and will have to sit in the worst place. 10 When you are invited to be a guest, go and sit in the worst place. Then the one who invited you may come and say, My friend, take a better seat! You will then be honored in front of all the other guests. 11 If you put yourself above others, you will be put down. But if you humble yourself, you will be honored. 12 Then Jesus said to the man who had invited him: When you give a dinner or a banquet, don t invite your friends and family and relatives and rich neighbors. If you do, they will invite you in return, and you will be paid back. 13 When you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. 14 They cannot pay you back. But God will bless you and reward you when his people rise from death. Randy Frazee Discussion Guide Page 5

6 Jesus observes how all the guests were clamoring for the best seats as they arrived for this dinner party. > In Jesus day, as today, there were "status symbols" that helped people enhance and protect their high standing in society. < If you were invited to the "right homes" and if you were seated in the "right places," then people would know how important you really were. ^ The closer you sat to the host, the higher you stood on the social ladder and the more attention you would receive from others. ^ Naturally, many people rushed to the "head table" when the doors were opened because they wanted to be important. > God is not impressed by our status in society or in the church. He is not influenced by what people say or think about us, because He sees the thoughts and motives of the heart. Verses 12-14} Jesus knew that the host had invited his guests for two reasons: 1) to pay them back because they had invited him to past parties, or 2) to put them under his debt so that they would invite him to future feasts. > This type of hospitality was not an expression of love and grace but rather an evidence of pride and selfishness. > In New Testament time it was not considered proper to ask the poor and handicapped people to public banquets. (Many times even women were excluded.) > Jesus told the group that they needed to put these types of people at the top of the guest list because they could not repay the invitation. This was the type of kindness that was to be expressed. Warren Wiersbe writes, "Our modern world is very competitive, and it is easy for God's people to become more concerned about profit and loss than they are about sacrifice and service." Do you agree with him? Why? Why not? These people did not have the means or ability to repay the kindness given them. And because they could not repay, nor should the man expect repayment, he would receive a blessing from God for the good that he did. > This is the essence of the scripture. It is also the essence of the Golden Rule and the reason why the Lord taught that it is far better to give than to receive. < When we give without expecting anything in return we receive the blessings of the Lord and that is far better. < We may not immediately see the blessing of God but you can be certain that it will be received. > This is an important and valuable reminder for us all. Let us all then seek how we can do good to others and thus receive the blessing of the Lord. I help those who are in trouble or who cannot help themselves. Randy Frazee Discussion Guide Page 6

7 Helping the troubled and helpless shows acts of kindness from a heart of goodness. Kindness and goodness is developed in us so we can show God s nature to the world around us. > Goodness is different from kindness. < Goodness might, and could rebuke and discipline whereas kindness can only help. ^ This is demonstrated in the actions of God towards us. When he rebukes and disciplines, it is for the purpose of bringing us to repentance so that He can demonstrate His great mercy/kindness. (Romans 11:32; Psalm 25:8) > When you do good, you are doing God s work. < Anytime the word kindness is used in the Bible it is accompanied by the word show. < Goodness can be in your heart, but you have to show it for it to be a kindness. ^ You can t just feel it and think it, you have to take action regarding it. PARAPHRASED FROM THINK, ACT, BELIEVE LIKE JESUS by Randy Frazee Let s look at the words for kind and good in the Bible s original languages to see the full meaning. > Hesed is the primary Old Testament Hebrew word for kindness. God s kindness toward us is one of an adopted child. He shows us the same love and kindness one would show to a biological child. < Hesed is loyal love, in it over the long haul. > Kalos is a Greek word translated as good in the New Testament. It refers to an outward, aesthetic beauty (e.g. in nature). > In Galatians 5:22 23, Paul uses two other Greek words. Chrestos (translated as kindness) and agathos (translated as goodness ) < These words refer to outward acts toward others that are first generated from an inner moral sense of what is right and best. ^ We do what we do for others because inwardly in our hearts we have decided this is the right thing to do. Discuss this week s Key Ideas with these questions. 1. What are some specific ways you have experienced God s kindness in your life? What impact has it made on you? 2. If the adversary of hope is fear, what would be the enemy of kindness and goodness? 3. How have other people recently shown you genuine kindness? How did you respond? Randy Frazee Discussion Guide Page 7

8 4. How are the virtues of kindness and goodness different? What are some practical examples of each virtue in action? Read the section Stories of Kindness: David in Believe (pages ) and choose 1 2 questions that will lead to the greatest discussion in your group. STORIES OF KINDNESS: DAVID The prophet Samuel anointed David, when he was just a teenager, to be the next king of Israel. His coronation, however, was a number of years away. Over the next several years God would use the rebellious heart of King Saul to grow David s trust in God. Before David took off running from King Saul, Jonathan, Saul s son and successor to the throne, had a sobering conversation with David. Jonathan acknowledged and accepted God s plan for David, not him, to be the next king. However, he made one request of the future king of Israel. Fast-forward many years. Saul and Jonathan were both dead, and David was now king. All potential threats from the old royal house of Saul had been neutralized, and David remembered his promise to Jonathan. (See 1 Samuel 20:13-16 and 2 Samuel 9:1-13, pgs in BELIEVE.) When David and Jonathan were young men, they made a covenant with each other. Since Jonathan knew that David would be the next king of Israel, he asked of David a favor: 1 Samuel 20: But show me unfailing kindness like the LORD s kindness as long as I live, so that I may not be killed, 15 and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family not even when the LORD has cut off every one of David s enemies from the face of the earth. SUMMARY: Shortly after David became king, he remembered his covenant with Jonathan-- to show kindness to his family. David promised Jonathan that he would show loving kindness to his family forever. David also vowed to Saul that he would not kill any of the children that came after him (1 Samuel 24:21-22). Now that Saul and Jonathan were dead, and David was king, it would have been easy for David to forget his commitment. But David not only remembered his commitment to Saul and Jonathan, he went far beyond it. David asked around, "Is anyone left from the royal house of Saul? If there is, I want to be kind to him because of Jonathan." David called for Ziba, one of the servants who used to serve Saul, and asked him, Is anyone still alive from Saul s family? If so, I want to show God s kindness to them. Ziba replied, Yes, one of Jonathan s sons is still alive. He is crippled in both feet. Randy Frazee Discussion Guide Page 8

9 David asked where Jonathan's son was. Ziba told him, In Lo-debar at the home of Makir son of Ammiel. So David sent for him. His name was Mephibosheth; Jonathan s son and Saul s grandson. When he came to David, he bowed low to the ground in deep respect. David greeted Mephibosheth, who replied, I am your servant. Don t be afraid! David said. I intend to show kindness to you because of my promise to your father, Jonathan. I will give you all the property that once belonged to your grandfather, Saul, and you will eat here with me at the king s table! This is a beautiful demonstration of love and acceptance, but it s even more beautiful when we understand the culture in which David and Mephibosheth lived. > During this time in history, when one King took over another King s throne, the new King would kill the entire family of the former King. < This was to insure that the family of the old King would not try to regain the power they once had. < This explains why Mephibosheth bowed down out of fear. < This also explains why David comforted him and told him not to be afraid. > The tradition of the time would have called for David to kill Mephibosheth. But David treated Mephibosheth as an honored guest. < David didn t follow tradition. He didn t follow culture. He followed God. He exercised Godly goodness and kindness. NOTE: Mephibosheth had not done anything to earn this kindness and blessing from David. He was not a mighty warrior who had fought a great battle for the King. He had never gone to war because both of his feet were crippled from the time he was a young boy. He was not courageous. In fact, he was deeply afraid to even appear before David. Mephibosheth did not earn the King s favor. David did not bless Mephibosheth because of anything he had done. These blessings were freely given to him as a gift. And they were a gift that he could never repay. This presents an earthly example of the marvelous grace, goodness and kindness that God bestows upon us. 1. David s predecessor King Saul was downright evil to him for thirteen years. In what ways would it be tempting for David to use his newly acquired power to exact revenge on Saul and his family? 2. Note specifically how David exhibited kindness and goodness to Jonathan s family, in keeping with his promise with Jonathan. Why was this considered a radical decision? Randy Frazee Discussion Guide Page 9

10 3. David doesn t appear to have any bitterness or hatred toward Saul s family. After all the hardship Saul caused him, how is this possible? What can we learn from David s example? Case Study Use the following case study as a model for a real-life situation where you might put this week s Key Idea into practice. Jared couldn t believe his eyes. He had read through the lawsuit three times, and with each reading he became more and more shocked. His best friend and former business partner, Cal, was suing him. They had gone into business together right out of college and after five tough, grinding years, their company began to experience incredible success. After fifteen years of steady growth, they mutually agreed to split their partnership when they couldn t agree on the direction to take the business. Cal took his share of the revenue and tried his luck in the investment world, but risky ventures have left him nearly broke. So he has filed a lawsuit filled with false accusations against Jared. Using the Key Applications from this session, what could you say or do to help Jared? Closing Prayer Close your time together with prayer. Share your prayer requests with one another. Ask God to help you put this week s Key Idea into practice. Randy Frazee Discussion Guide Page 10